InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ To live for you. ❯ For you, for her, for me.. ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer: *Cries* Noo! I don't own him alright! He's all property of Rumiko Takahashi! *empties the bucket of tears and keeps crying*

 

Chapter 2

 

~For her, for me, for you…~

 

The next day the group set off for Kaede's village. With Kagome on InuYasha's back and Miroku and Sango mounting Kirara they arrived there in two days. Two days that had finally initiated a return to their old lives. Just the fact that InuYasha would allow Kagome on his back was breaking the ice. Even more encouraging was that the hanyou stayed with them during the nights, ate with them and eventually retuned to his previous grumpy self from the violent touch-me-and-die personality of the last tenday.

 

Somehow he seemed more affectionate towards Kagome. Of course, nothing extremely out of ordinary but he would snap and yell at her less and almost always stayed by her side. At first Kagome was pleasantly surprised by this kind of attention. Granted, it was very nice not having her mood spoiled by the hanyou's remarks, but at the same time it seemed…creepy, somehow. She wasn't used to InuYasha agreeing with her, not calling her `bitch' and being so close to her. What actually bothered her most was that the only reason for his odd behavior that she could come up with wasn't very comforting. She feared that he saw Kikyo in her. After all they did share a soul and the part that used to be in Kikyo returned to Kagome with the miko's passing.

 

This fact was very wrong for many reasons, one of them being her own self-respect and another - the hanyou's future inevitable heartbreaking. And the latter worried her more than the former. She wasn't sure that she could bear InuYasha's hurt gaze when she would tell him to stop. She knew she had to. If his affection was actually directed towards Kikyo it wasn't fair to either of them.

 

When they arrived at Kaede's Kagome decided that she had to talk with InuYasha before it was too late. So after everyone had fallen asleep in the old miko's hut she crept out of it, knowing full well that InuYasha was sleeping in the roof and wouldn't miss her leaving. Fair enough, she had barely made five steps when she felt someone land behind her.

 

“Oi, Kagome! Where do you think you're going?” InuYasha grumbled. “Don't you know that nights are made to sleep?”

 

“InuYasha…” She began. She looked at him and gathered her courage “I really need to talk to you.”

 

“And that's what days are made for.” He was reaching for her hand to lead her back inside the hut, but she ducked his grasp.

 

“No, InuYasha, I have to talk to you” she paused “alone.”

 

“Keh!” She was looking so intently at him that he knew he couldn't deny her request. “Come on!” He pulled his hand around her waist and leaped back on the roof. He sat her on the wood and a second later she felt a rough material being wrapped around her frame. Muttering something about `pathetic humans' he sat by her side and waited…

 

The night was quite and clear. There was nothing to be heard except their breathing and the soft rustle of the leaves produced by the wind.

 

“Oi, Kagome, are you gonna talk, or you just like freezing your ass out here” He was getting restless. Very restless. He was worried about what could it be so important so that Kagome had to talk to him alone in the middle of the night.

 

“InuYasha…” she softly said “How… How do you feel?”

 

“Eh? What do you mean `how do I feel'?! That's what you wanted to ask me in private?”

 

“InuYasha, how do you feel?” She repeated looking at the star-filled sky.

 

“Kagome…” He was looking at her profile. Observing the way that the moonlight caressed her cheeks, the way it sparkled in her chocolate eyes, the way it laid on the curve of her lips. “Kagome, I… I don't… know…”

 

She turned her gaze to him. “I mean, what are you thinking to yourself now, then, these last weeks?”

 

“I… I really don't know.” He lowered his eyes. `I can't explain to you how I feel when even I can't begin to understand it myself'.

 

“I'm really worried about you.” Kagome said. “You have been behaving really strange since… since that day. Not that I blame you!” she added hurriedly “It's just that now you seem nicer to me…why?”

 

“What?” His face was wearing a very shocked expression. “What do you mean nicer?! Nothing's changed!” `How can she be asking me that? What does she want me to tell her?'

 

She smiled at him weakly and turned to look at the sky once more. `Nothing's changed, huh? InuYasha, why are you making it so difficult? How do you suppose I should explain to you that it isn't like you to be nice, that as much as I enjoy your closeness, it creeps me out? Why are you doing this? Do you really see Kikyo in me?'

 

“Ok, InuYasha, forget I said that…”

 

“Oh, no you don't, wench! You've got something to say and you're stuck here until you tell me, so you might as well spill it out!” He fumed.

 

“I don't know if I can…”

 

“What?! You're kidding me, right? You wake up in the middle of the night to talk to me and now you say you can't?!” He was now in all fours in front of her staring directly at her face. Their noses inches apart, barely touching. He was really afraid now. What was that thing that she couldn't say? Was she going to leave him, because she thought that he couldn't protect her? Just as he couldn't protect Kikyo… `No, that can't be it! Kagome wouldn't leave me, would she?'

 

“InuYasha, yelling at me won't make me say it!” A growl escaped his throat.

 

“Wench! I. SAID. SPILL. IT.” She could hear the creaking of the wood under the pressure of his claws. At first a slight pang of fear crossed her, but she flicked it away knowing that InuYasha would never hurt her. She looked him straight in the eye. Tears were slowly running down her cheeks. The hanyou flinched; he hadn't meant to make her cry. He was about to apologize or actually scream at her more to stop crying, when her soft whisper reached his sensitive ears.

 

“Do you think I'm Kikyo?”

 

He froze. His face was still inches from hers and his eyes were still directed at hers but he didn't see her. In fact, it seemed as if he had forgotten all about her. A low rumbling growl was emanating from him, growing louder with each passing second.

 

“InuYasha…” Kagome slowly tried. When the only response she got was something akin to a bark through clenched teeth, she tried to crawl backwards, and almost made it to the end of the roof. She even got the time to slightly turn around and start considering the possibilities of jumping from the roof and landing safely, but before she could manage it a hand was snatched around her waist and she was dragged flush against a hard chest.

 

She felt InuYasha's chin on the top of her head. He was still growling. Kagome tried to labor her breath, but to no avail - it was coming in short pants.

 

“Kagome, why… why do you think that?” She heard him rasp. Kagome squirmed but his hold on her was iron. “WHY?!”

 

She was now sobbing aloud “I don't know! Ever since her death you have been almost lost in yourself, but a couple of days ago you remembered that we existed!” She continued “You wouldn't leave my side, you were always there: when I went to sleep, when I awoke! You didn't even fight me when I said that I needed to go home for a while. You have never been that way. Only once when you thought I was Kikyo and you tried to kiss me!!” `Oh, my god I can't believe I'm saying that. Oh no, no, no, no!!!' But there was no way to stop it now. “I'm afraid! Afraid for you! You used to run after a memory but at least it had a body and a soul! Now, there's nothing left of it except that people say that me and her look alike. I'm sorry! Really sorry, but it can't be that way!!...”

 

“Kagome!” She was cut off buy his snarl “Shut up!” She sobbed “No! Don't cry Kagome, please, don't!” He was now rocking her in his arms. `What am I doing?! I shouldn't be touching her at all!' “Kagome, Look at me!” She obeyed and lifted he gaze at him. “Kagome, listen, I don't, DON'T think that you're Kikyo. I made that mistake once, and I'm not doing it again, damn it! I…I can't… can't loose you how I did her! I wanted to die with her. But I couldn't. I need to live to avenge her, to kill the bastard and, most importantly, to protect you. I need to live for you”

 

“InuYasha, I…”

 

“Shut up, you need to sleep, so sleep.” He was now embarrassed of what he had said. He was not the one to open himself so easily, but the sight of he tears always broke something inside him. It always made his human blood dominant. Always made him say stupid things, that unfortunately for him he actually meant. Things that he knew he couldn't take back afterwards.

 

“InuYasha, listen …”

 

“No, go to sleep wench!”

 

“Baka! Listen to me!!”

 

“Keh”

 

“I don't want you to live for me” Kagome was already beyond tears. With all the information he had poured on her she was scared even more. A lot of what he said didn't answer her questions but raised new ones. And although she knew better than to try InuYasha's patience once more she needed to tell him…

 

`She… she doesn't? She doesn't want me to protect her? Kagome doesn't want to be around me. Not that I blame her.' Her voice interrupted his thoughts.

 

“InuYasha, I want you to live… for you.”

 

It felt as if he had been walking with a rock on his back and someone had come and taken it away, so that he could sand up straight and for the first time in many years breathe in fully. `How can it be, that in such a filthy world exists a creature as pure as her? No one has ever asked me to do anything for myself. Kagome…'

 

He glanced at the girl in his arms. She was looking at him intently, stars reflecting in her cinnamon eyes. So much love and care in them! Something was growing inside his stomach. Some urge that he had no control of. Something that wanted him to lean closer and kiss those lips that were so invitingly slightly opened. But instead…

 

“Keh! Go to sleep, wench! You said you were going home tomorrow, so it better be early, 'cause I want you back by the end of the day!”

 

“But…”

 

“I said, sleep.”

 

Kagome looked up at him for a moment, but his eyes were already closed. She knew he wasn't asleep, but she also knew that he wouldn't listen to whatever she had to say now, so she leaned closer into his chest embracing his waist, and closed her eyes too. I seemed strange somehow, it was fairly cold outside, but she didn't feel it at all. She could only register a strong set of hands firmly draped around her back and the warmth emanating from the hanyou's body. She pulled her knees closer to her chest so that her legs wouldn't feel cold either and eventually fell asleep.

 

 

 

A/N. Soooo, whacha think? R&R please ^_^