InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ To Make Things Right ❯ Consciousness ( Chapter 3 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

By: Iggy04

We continued our travels early the next morning. The others were not aware of the conversation between Sango and I, and I wanted to keep it that way, as I'm sure Sango did. If there was anything starting to deepen in terms of companionship, I did not want the others to know. Especially Inuyasha. And Shippou. And - Kami, I would not want any of them to know. Not that it was hard to guess lately, with me constantly asking Sango if she was alright every time she got a scratch or cut during a fight with some sort of youkai. I tried to act casual whenever she gained more serious injuries, like I was just concerned that my battle partner would not be able to work with me and I would have to fight the upcoming battles by myself, but I think Kagome-sama suspected something between us, though she rarely talked about it with me. Kami only knows what they were talking about during all those hot spring sessions. I had never gotten close enough to hear what they talked about thanks to Sango's accurate hearing abilities. I have more memories of her scolding and throwing rocks at my head than I do of her smiling, but I don't think that surprises anyone, least of all me. It's worth the sight, though.

Inuyasha came bounding in the hut earlier, sending rays of bright sunshine into our eyes, ordering us to get up so we wouldn't waste another day finding the jewel shards that he constantly harassed Kagome about during our travels. Sometimes I wondered she could put up with his irritating temper, but then again, she did have that sit command. It didn't really get him to obey orders, but he became less threatening to us, especially since it was Kagome who commanded him face down into the ground.

The hanyou and Kagome were ahead of Sango and I, and the kitsune was perched on Kagome's shoulder. Inuyasha seemed to be in a rush today, not that he was never in a rush to find more jewel shards. Sometimes I wonder how Kagome-sama always puts up with him.

Meanwhile, back to Sango and I. She was walking at a moderately slow pace, and hadn't said a word all morning. I stopped, allowing Inuyasha and Kagome-sama to gain some distance between us so they wouldn`t overhear our conversation. “Sango,” I said, catching her wrist, making her slow down even more. “What are you thinking about?”

“What?” She shook her head slightly to clear it then looked at me. “Oh, nothing,” she replied in an off-handed sort of way. Did she think I was stupid or something? I know when she's not mentally with us, which is the majority of the time since she's such a reflective person about her memories, but why does she feel like she has to hide her sadness from all of us? True, she did cry for a few minutes on Kagome's shoulder shortly after she met us. Then again, she said I was, uh, “stroking her knees” only a day after we helped take care of her injuries. I couldn't help it! She was such a beautiful woman despite all her troubles and worries… and I only thought she should know it. Although looking back on it now, I can understand why both girls avoided being around me for the next three days.

But I still can't understand why the Sango would feel that she had to keep everything bottled up inside of her. It's not like I haven't seen her cry before.

“Sango.” I would not ask her directly, but she could tell it by my tone of voice that I wanted to know what was keeping her so quiet. “You know I care about you.” Inwardly I laughed weakly as Inuyasha's ears twitched in the slightest movement and Kagome froze in her tracks. Could they still hear the quiet conversation between me and Sango even if they were only a few feet away from us? Nevertheless, Kagome acted as though she couldn't hear anything and simply kept pulling Inuyasha with her, Shippou sending curious glances back to me and the taijiya, but Kagome scooped him into her arms and walked away, saying something to him about finding a playmate. That got his full attention, and Sango and I were free to talk.

“I'm just worried about Kohaku,” she answered a little too quickly, looking away to avoid my gaze. I reached out and gently turned her face to meet mine, a surprised noise escaping her mouth.

“Houshi-sama?” she asked almost timidly.

I frowned slightly, studying the nervous look on her eyes. “Sango… is the dream you had last night bothering you?”

She bit her lip and stared down at the ground, taking a moment to decide how to answer. “No,” she said at last, but I could clearly hear the falseness of her tone. It was obvious that she was trying to hide her fear and embarrassment from last night, and I didn't blame her.

It was not often that Sango and I had close talks. In fact, almost all of the time we talked during our travels, we kept our distances, making it more clear to the others - if not us - that we were nothing more than travelling companions, although I think Kagome-sama suspected something more between us and still does. Sango made it painfully clear to me that I was not to get too attached to her by never saying my name, only the informal “Houshi-sama”. Also, when we were given a few rare moments to spend alone, Sango would never talk about our relationship or press matters about how much time we had left, in terms of my Kazaana. She talked about Kohaku frequently to Kirara though, and sometimes I had this feeling that he was more important to her, and if she were given a chance to trade my life for his - she would choose his, no hesitation on my part.

It did hurt, a very small part of would admit that, despite the happiness I knew she would finally achieve if Kohaku was to be freed from the memory spell that was his “undead life.” I wanted so much for her to be happy. Even if I died in the process of saving Kohaku for her, and she wouldn't give a damn about me afterwards because I was just the lecherous, flirtatious monk, if she was happy after, that was all that mattered. I had that much to give to her, to make sure she would be alright even if she didn't realize just how much I cared about her. It still hurt, besides I wanted to be the one by her side.

A few times, Sango saved my life. The first time my life really was in danger because of Naraku, she almost cried. To think Sango almost cried about me was exhilarating because I didn't think she cared that much about me. And yes, I just had to go and ruin the sweet if short moment between us by seizing a chance to give her bottom a gentle caress. I had to assure her I was fine, that I wasn't going to die, and it worked. Sango nearly killed me herself afterwards for faking death, but it was worth it. It's always worth something to see her get angry and think about me instead of Kohaku for a change, although anger towards someone isn't always the best way to be thinking about them.

“Sango, it's going to be alright.” I pulled her closer to me, my arm going around her shoulders. She didn't blush this time, which amazed me. A lot of the time, she seems reluctant to show any emotion besides her regular determination to kill the bastard Naraku. I have heard her talking to Kirara late at night, thinking the rest of us are deep in slumber, but if she's trying to fool anyone, it has to be herself. It's certainly not us. How can you sleep, when at any moment you know you can be attacked by a demon of any shape and size, with any kind of powers? You need to be alert at all times, and it doesn't matter who is with you. Each of us is only human, with the exception of Inuyasha, and even with his half-demon powers he can only do so much.

I know for a fact that each of us rarely gets any sleep even when we try. Inuyasha occasionally has nightmares involving the undead miko, Kikyou-sama, and the miko from the future, Kagome-sama. Kagome usually ponders about Inuyasha's true feelings about her, which none of us know except for the fact that Inuyasha would do anything to save her. It is quite obvious to Sango and I that Kagome fell in love with Inuyasha a long time ago, and we are still unsure if he will ever return her feelings for him. Kikyou-sama still keeps his heart chained up under her dead grasp by saying he owes her his life, which is true. Kikyou-sama did sacrifice herself to keep the jewel pure… but at the same time, Inuyasha's feelings are still confused about the girl from the future. Why Kagome-sama allows Inuyasha to break her heart each time he goes to see Kikyou-sama is beyond me, but I think it has something to do with respect for his feelings and the fact that Kikyou-sama's sacrifice was meant to save the jewel and to follow Inuyasha into the afterlife is something she realized she could not compare with. You cannot compare the living to the dead, no matter how good or evil the dead person was, or is. In that case, Kagome-sama will not win Inuyasha. Inuyasha's vow to go into hell with Kikyou-sama has not been brought up these past few weeks, but none of us will press the matter. It was unspoken of then, and it will remain so until Kikyou-sama comes for a visit.

But one of the things that I know about is when Akago captured Kagome-sama. She has admitted that she feels jealous of Kikyou-sama, but even that cannot be tarnished by the evil power of the jewel because it is a natural emotion that humans feel. In that way, her jealousy is not a negative outlook on things. One of these days, Inuyasha will stay with Kagome-sama, and not worry about his debt to Kikyou-sama. Or maybe I'm just trying to convince myself things will work out.

My dear Sango has a past that is not usually discussed within the group, unless Kohaku shows up. Naraku still controls his body and mind, but at Kohaku's will. We know that Kohaku still has his memories buried deep within his heart somewhere, but to get to them, he will have to face the guilt and terror of killing his family and village members off. This hurts Sango more than even I will ever understand.

She is such a brave person. When she first met us, I didn't really notice much about her, except that she was beautiful, much like any other woman. But when we were faced with dire situations, such as Naraku's puppets, or his stupid incarnations that successfully led us into traps that nearly cost our lives, I noticed how strong she was. Not just physically, just mentally. She did not let her past take control of her emotions, preventing her from fighting the one enemy that she despised most. She always waited until long after we finished our battles, then she would cry by herself, comforted only by her cat companion Kirara. I knew she cried constantly at night about her family because I would often join her, wanting to offer my comfort. Then she would pretend everything was alright, and that her memories were just reflecting themselves in her head, before Kohaku turned on her. But I know better. I know her better than she thinks I do.

“Nothing is going to happen,” I tried to assure her. She still didn't look certain, that is, until I tilted her head upwards to kiss her. At first, a look of complete shock was in her eyes, but she didn't back away. In fact, once she got over her initial shock, it looked almost like she was enjoying it. Could it be possible that she was? We kept our feelings hidden away for so long, I don't think we were even aware that the other actually had them. This time, though, things were different.

I broke away for a moment to dig my staff into the ground silently, not wanting to alert the others, and wrapped my arms around her waist, holding her close. I had wanted for so long just to hold, and for a few moments, my dreams came true. I was holding her, feeling her body lightly against mine, and she was letting me. I think the only thing that kept me from showing my amazement outwardly was the fact that if I showed my surprise now, it would ruin the moment, and Sango would also regain her senses and hit me for being the lecherous monk that I was, not that I was planning on doing any lecherous moves at the moment, but she never stopped suspecting me. Also, in a way, I think her feelings for me grew stronger over time. As crazy as it sounds, I could almost hear her heart pounding.

She made a very faint, almost unnoticeable noise of disappointment. Hiraikotsu was dropped to the ground, a small cloud of dust rising up along with the sound of a dull thud as the large weapon hit the ground. Her hands were on the upper part of my chest, almost on my shoulders as she allowed herself to lean against me. I could feel the tension and anxiety draining out of her body as she started to relax. Her breathing was still steady as her head lay against my chest, her eyes not quite closed, but I could tell that the effect of the kiss had not worn off of her. It hadn't worn off of me, either. I still wanted more, and I moved one of my hands up to stroke her hair as she rested, taking a moment of peace with me.

Time had officially frozen for me, as I'm sure it did with her. For a few seconds, it was only the two of us, holding each other as an unspoken vow of support and possibly even faint feelings of love began to show through. For a moment, I forgot everything else: the villages we had been to, the demons we had destroyed, the jewel shards we still needed to obtain, the Kazaana in my right hand steadily increasing in size. Even Naraku was forgotten as I held her close to me during these few precious moments.

Her breaths became shorter as she moved her head upwards slightly. For a second, I saw the hidden desire in her eyes that I knew was in mine. Our gazes connected, and her lips shyly, almost reluctantly it seemed, started to close the few inches of distance we still had between our faces. It was like she was silently asking for permission to kiss me, although I had already done so and managed to shock the life out of the both of us. Her mouth barely brushed mine and I welcomed the small kiss she gave me. She was extremely hesitant in doing so due to her shyness and risk of showing trust, and I could understand that. But even under the invisible barrier she had formed around her fragile soul, I could tell her feelings for me had not decreased. If anything, they were… becoming stronger. How could I have not noticed before? Why didn't I notice how quiet she was with Kuranosuke-san? How could I not have seen the anger in her eyes when I didn't do anything for her?!

“Sango,” I managed to murmur, even through the gentle kiss she gave me. Damn it, why did our feelings have to make themselves known at a time like this? Out on a dusty path, not even in a forest, only a few minutes away from the next village! I am so glad Inuyasha and Kagome-sama did not see us. I knew Shippou would not; Kagome-sama would have distracted him a while ago with some treats.

Inuyasha must have been thinking the same thing. “Are you guys -” he started to call out, then Kagome told him to shut up, or else. He reluctantly obeyed her command, but only because he knew she would use the `sit' command, and I didn't think he felt like being slammed into the dirt.

Kagome forced a smile on her face and practically dragged the hanyou away by his sleeve, shooting him sweet but dangerous looks, Shippou now on her shoulder. He glanced behind at Sango and me, and his eyes opened a bit wider than usual when he saw how close we were. Kagome called his name and said something to grab his attention, and I knew she was trying to keep his young if not clever mind off of us. In a few minutes, they were out of sight. Their talking could still be heard further down the path, and it didn't take me more than two seconds to figure out what the subject of their `conversation' was.

Immediately, Sango realized her surroundings, and she backed away, her face flushed. “Houshi-sama… what…?” She seemed to be having trouble forming a simple question, and if our situation hadn't been so affected by our feelings, I would have laughed.

As it was, I could understand her embarrassment. “We were - we were - “ I was having trouble myself trying to explain what had just happened between us.

“I'm sorry,” she said, looking away.

“No, it's okay Sango. I want - I mean, I didn't mind it…” I said nervously. What if she had never been in a relationship before?

She created more distance between us as she stepped away, looking everywhere and anywhere except at me. “No, it's not. I can't believe I…”

Tentatively reaching over, I touched her cheek, and she turned to look at me. “You didn't do anything wrong. We all need reassurance at one time or another.” Reassurance? Who was I kidding? Once again, certainly not us, though she didn't say anything that would make me have to deny it.

“Still…” Her voice was so soft I barely heard it. “We shouldn't have done that.” She looked down at the ground, her bangs shielding her eyes. “I'm sorry… I…” Lost for words, she kept staring at the ground, then fell to it on her knees, a small cloud of dust settling on the material of her kimono.

She was embarrassed by her actions, that much I could tell. But I wondered something else: why did she have to hide her embarrassment towards me? I bent down slightly, touching her shoulder. “Sango, we'll talk about this later. I think Kagome-sama and Inuyasha are waiting for us.” My voice was just over a whisper as I thought about my own feelings towards her.

She got up and walked away, not looking back at me or saying anything. I felt guilty, almost as if I had taken advantage of her, even though I knew I had not. But now was not the time to discuss it with her. Inuyasha was getting impatient up ahead, and Sango obviously did not want to talk about it in front of anyone else.

It was night by the time we had set up camp. Kagome immediately dove into her sleeping bag, wanting a good night's sleep. Her body was tired from all the travelling during the day, and despite the lack of demons around the area, which was unusual, we were still constantly on the lookout for impending danger.

Shippou slept right by her, curled up in Kirara. The cat's warm fur kept the heat insulated around his tiny fox body as he snuggled against her. Inuyasha was on his tree branch, his head slightly over to the side as he dozed lightly, the faint moonlight catching the glow of his silver hair.

Sango was in her sleeping bag, but she wasn't sleeping. She was staring at the dying embers of the fire. Her shiny black hair had been brushed back behind her shoulders, so that waves of it smoothed against the back of her kimono. Her eyes were filled with confusion as they intensified themselves on the orange light of the flames.

“Sango?” I asked quietly. She looked over at me.

“Yes?”

I got up and sat down next to her as she relaxed against me. My arms slowly wrapped around her as I was careful not to startle her into moving away. “What are you thinking about?”

She leaned back her head back, her eyes partly closed. “Just how warm and comforting you are and how much I like it when you hold me like this.” A flush started in her cheeks as she covered her mouth in embarrassment. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that,” she said quickly, moving away from me.

I caught her waist and forced me to settle against me again, trying to calm her. “It's okay. About earlier… I'm not mad at you. I liked what you did, back there. It was… amazing,” I whispered, remembering the feel of her lips against mine. She had definitely been brave to try and do something like that. She hesitantly leaned against me, her head lying back on my shoulder as I rested my chin on it. Come to think of it, I don't even know why she would have done that. What had caused our reactions towards each other? It wasn't like we had never hugged or held each other before…

“Sango, you don`t have to feel embarrassed about our relationship.” If she was embarrassed, she had no need to be, except for the fact that we had kissed in the middle of the road. Other than that, I was fine with it. I fully enjoyed how she felt against me, without getting slapped for my efforts for once.

“I just…” She tried to start a sentence, but realized she couldn't think of any words to complete it, so in frustration she started up another topic, hoping to get my mind off of that event. “That dream… it keeps bothering me. Something about it just didn't feel right.” She looked away from me, her voice becoming stronger as she continued to speak. “I know it's not easy for you to understand what I mean, but that's… that's how it felt.”

“It's going to be alright, Sango. Don't worry about it so much,” I told her. I briefly kissed the side of her forehead as she finally placed herself in a more comfortable position. “And even if something does happen, I'll be there with you. You won't have to… take it alone.” As I spoke, I recalled the memories of when she had first joined us.

She stood there, in her taijiya outfit, her hand fastening to the strap of her weapon, which was a big, heavy-looking boomerang made up of some type of bone. Her black hair was pulled back in a ponytail so that her hair would not be blowing in her face as she fought. Even at this distance, I could see that her brown eyes were filled with anger - and hatred? She wore a poison protection mask, covering her mouth. Her eyes narrowed, sending furious glares across the area at us.

“Are you Inuyasha?”she demanded, the hair in her ponytail being brushed by the wind.

“Yeah, what of it?”the hanyou shot back, his hand seeking the sheath of Tetssusaiga. Kagome looked surprised that the older teenager knew his name, and I felt slightly shocked myself. I can almost feel the rage and anguish radiating off of her. She looks like she wants to kill something. Or someone. I looked nervously at Inuyasha.

“I'm here to take vengeance for my people!”She hurled the boomerang directly at Inuyasha. “Hiraikotsu!”

Inuyasha reacted quickly, moving out of the way and jumping above her to try and gain the advantage, unleashing Tetssusaiga as he went through the air to defend himself against her sudden attack.

“Why don't you kill me?”she challenged, advancing forward to catch the giant weapon and twisting her wrist slightly to balance the force of it as it came back.

“What?”Inuyasha looked completely confused, and I couldn't blame him.

“Don't try to play dumb with me! You destroyed my village!”She hurled it again and he moved out of the way.

Kagome started to step forward. “Inuyasha, be careful!”she shouted, panic evident in her voice. This particular taijiya wasn't just any demon slayer; we had heard that her slayers were some of the best in the area.

“I don't know what you're talking about!”Inuyasha protested as he landed.

She readied herself for another attack. “Oh, but my defenceless village was easy enough for you to slaughter, but you can't kill me?”she taunted, her voice filled with utmost hatred.

“I didn't destroy any village!”the hanyou defended, motioning for the rest of us to stay back and out of the battle zone area.

How sad and desperate she had been then. I didn't really know her at the time; heck, I didn't even know her name until we had returned back to what used to be the medicinal hut in her village. Despite her anger and misunderstanding, I still thought she had to have been the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

Shortly after her fight with Inuyasha, Naraku had revealed himself in puppet form, slyly admitting that he had been the cause for her destroyed family and village. By this time, Sango was suspicious of him and tried to regain her balance from her bandaged wounds by using Kagome's support. The expression on her face as she watched him tell her the details of his carefully thought plan went from anger and general pain from her injuries to surprise, then to shock and enraged anguish.

She stood up, leaning partially on Kagome. The younger girl was still worrying over her injuries, which seemed to be getting worse from all the extra fighting the taijiya had forced her body to do, and it hadn't had a chance to heal properly. “You - you were the one that destroyed my village?”she asked in disbelief.

“Destroyed?”Naraku said in a mock hurt voice. “Is that what you call my thoughtful planning?”

She grasped Hiraikotsu, the fire in her eyes more evident than before. “Damn you!”she screamed at him, lunging forward to attack. The jewel shard that had been dug into her back came out due to her agility, and the pain returned with a vengeance. Blood flew out of her back and wounds, pouring into the dirt below as she lost her balance. Her vision blurred and starting to fade, she collapsed facedown into the dirt, losing her grip on Hiraikotsu as it clattered to the ground beside her.

I would never let her go through any sort of pain like that again, not if I could help it. She was the most important person to me, like family, and I wanted to make sure she would never suffer as long as I was there.

Later that night, I woke up. Sango was sleeping beside me, her head on my chest. It was still midnight. I'm not sure if it was because I normally did not get much sleep at all, or if some part of my conscience had instinctively woken me up simply because something was wrong, but I knew that something was happening. I slowly sat up, not wanting to wake her, and then my senses quickly alerted me to her body temperature.

She was cold. So cold that she was shivering. I tested her forehead - it felt cold as well. So she didn't have a fever or anything like that, but I was worried. Her skin temperature felt like it had been buried in snow for hours, only it was a warm starry night with just a slight bit of a refreshing breeze.

“Sango! Sango!” I shook her, to try and wake her, but she didn't respond. The cold gradually began to leave her body, but she still didn't wake up. “Sango, please, wake up!” I pleaded, shaking her harder. What was going on?

In desperation, I hugged her to my chest trying to pass my warmth into her as much as possible. “Sango… please…” I didn't know exactly what I was pleading for; there was no aura of any demon nearby and she hadn`t been injured in a fight lately, but if this sudden cold harmed her in any way, I wasn't about to take any chances. “Sango… please, say something… anything. Just… just let me know you're okay.” Was that trembling voice mine?

After what seemed like hours, but was really only a few seconds, she slowly opened her eyes, looking a bit disorientated at first until I was holding her. “Houshi-sama?” she said, still looking pale and shivering.

“Sango, are you okay?” I loosened my grip on her, testing her temperature again.

“I - I think so,” she answered shakily.

“You're still cold…” I grabbed her sleeping bag and firmly covered her with it, using it as insulation for the heat.

“I feel fine,” she said quietly, sitting up. Her body temperature was now completely back to normal, but I couldn't shake off the feeling that something had happened. It was almost like my body was trying to get me to realize something, only I hadn't realized it, but I didn't know what it was that I had to acknowledge!

She shifted away from me and pushed the top of the sleeping bag down to mid-waist, taking her hands out from under it and looking at them, a faintly worried expression covering her calm features.

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing,” she answered in what she obviously thought would be a convincing off-handed sort of tone, while she started fingering the material of the bag, her movements betraying her nervousness and fear.

I sighed inwardly. I should have known that she would be like this. Sango is not the type of person to spill all her secrets and cry on someone's shoulder just to receive comfort. She would rather keep her pain hidden and not try to “burden” the rest of us with her problems, which is what she thinks she does. Sometimes she tells Kagome things that have happened when she is in one of her emotional moods and cannot hold the tears back. She doesn't really talk to Inuyasha about any of it, knowing that he has his own inner conflicts. Shippou is too young to understand much of the physical and emotional destruction Naraku has caused on a wider perspective, and thank whatever Gods for that. It saves us from having to explain many of the things that go on, seeing as most of them usually affect at least one of us directly.

But me… especially me. She wouldn't want her burden, her pain, her guilt to become mine. She feels that she has responsibility in keeping her pain to herself, and since my mind is already weighed down with the Kazaana most times, she takes my own silent turmoil into consideration.

“Sango, please. Tell me what is wrong.” My voice was just as quiet as hers, and no, I wasn't commanding her; I was suggesting that if she wanted to tell me, she could. I would not judge her. I have too much respect to demand anything from her, especially if it is something as personal as Kohaku. Besides, if it hurts her too much to talk about it… she had already been through so much.

She took a deep breath and looked over at my hands, her fingers starting to take hold of mine. By the way she lowered her head, keeping her gaze hidden from mine, I knew automatically that whatever she was thinking about would put her in one of her emotional moods. I wanted to know, so I kept quiet. If I pushed her too much about it, she would give up.

“I had another dream,” she began, as my hands covered hers in a silent gesture of comfort. “I wasn't anywhere in particular, just outside a village somewhere, in the middle of the road.

“It was dark, and the lights in the village were lit up. I didn't have my battle outfit on, just my regular kimono. There was a boy in front of me, he was about Kohaku's age, maybe a bit older. He was wearing a navy blue sleeveless shirt and beige pants with no sandals. His face was shadowed, and he stood there in silence. I didn't recognize him then; I still don't know who he is.

“I didn't move or anything, but then the shadow lifted off of his face, and I saw that his eyes were a deep blue colour, and his hair was a dark brownish shade. It barely reached his neckline. What set apprehension in me was the fear in his eyes. It was as if he thought I was going to do something horrible to him.”

She paused, swallowing. Her throat already felt dry although she hadn't been talking for more than a few minutes. I gently tugged one of my hands out of hers and put it on her shoulder. She still didn't look at me, but continued instead.

“And then I felt something strange… my body wouldn't do what I told it to do. I pulled a knife out of my sleeve and for a moment, it flashed in the moonlight. It was so shiny I could almost see the reflection of my eyes in it. Then I took a step forward, and the boy ran off. I caught the terror in his eyes, even though I didn't want to hurt him. But it was like my body couldn't listen to what I was trying to make it do. My grip on the knife tightened, and I felt my feet move as I ran after him. It didn't take long. I tackled him and rolled him over so that he was on his back. I could almost hear his heart pounding as I leaned down, my wrist poised to send the blade downwards, ready to strike where it would do the most painful damage.

“And it did.” Her voice wavered as she tried to keep control. She still didn't turn to face me, but her hold on my hands had tightened. “I saw it go into the spot where his heart would be. I saw all the blood go flying. Everywhere, in every direction. It stained his clothes… and my hands… and I don't know how or why, but I enjoyed it.”

I kept silent as she choked on her words, finally turning to face me. “I enjoyed the feel of blood on my hands… it felt good to kill someone, even though I know it doesn't. I still felt happy even as I knew I wasn't supposed to.”

“Sango, look at me.” I didn't know what it was about these dreams that had affected her so badly. “You didn't kill anyone. You couldn't have, and I know you would never do something like that. It was just a dream, Sango.” I held her tightly to me, stroking her hair, trying to calm her as she buried her head in my shoulder, trying to keep her tears from surfacing. I could tell that the last thing she wanted to do was cry in front of me like this.

“It was just a dream,” I repeated, gradually managing to calm her down a little bit, placing my chin on the top of her head. “It's okay. It's going to be okay.” As long as I'm here…I'm not going to allow anything like that to happen.

If only I knew what was coming.