InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ To Nowhere ❯ The Calm ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer: shhh... they don't know that I keep Inu chained up in my bedroom...

A/N: This chapter will hopefully be a little more lighthearted than the last. Sorry for all the super-emotional stuff, but it had to be done. I'm gonna try to update at least once a week, but it may take longer on weeks I'm particularly slammed. But don't worry, I won't abandon it. Remember the more reviews I get, the more I'll write. Even if you hate it... let me know. I can't improve if I don't know what I'm doing wrong!

Enjoy!

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He would never see Kagome again.

That simple phrase kept repeating itself inside his head. A slow drumming tantrum that sounded as though it should be his death toll. It echoed endlessly from some hidden cavern deep inside his mind, slowly driving him toward... no he wasn't going to cry. Men didn't cry and Demons sure as hell didn't cry either. Shaking his head, he pulled himself closer against the tree as the chilly night air began to overcome his senses. He drifted off as the wind rocked his senses awry, and wondered when the prospect of leaving Kagome behind had become such a bewildering thought. The thought was like shutting himself into endless darkness with no hope of ever finding light again. A world devoid of Kagome's kind words and soft touch was purely horrifying to Inu Yasha. He wanted to share his world with her. He wanted to see her smile every day.

Her smile. He knew he could never forget her smile. When he left, it would live on his dreams but he would never be able to touch it. He would never be able to feel those soft lips, as he'd always longed to do. He could no longer see that light in her eyes that made him feel alive. That delicate shine that filled him with more pleasure and joy than any earthly object could compare to, would be out of his reach forever. Without Kagome he would always wonder how it might have been to be the one who made her smile instead of the one who always seemed to make her cry.

Inu Yasha stubbornly closed his eyes and forced himself not to think about Kagome anymore. His thoughts were more terrifying than any battle he had ever fought before and all the things that he had worked so hard to bury deep beneath all the darkness in his past were suddenly jumping up into the forefront. He knew more than anyone that there was simply no space left to think about those things. He was obligated to Kikyou, and now that Kagome was safe, he had to fulfill his original obligation. Even if he never saw Kagome again... never saw Kagome again... never...

"Why the fuck can't you get past that?!"

Inu Yasha yelled out loud to the stubborn little voice in the back of his mind, begging it to stop. More than anything, he just wanted it to stop. He punched a whole in the tree trunk for added emphasis and angrily jumped down. He decided that sleep would not be a wise choice since his dreams could only worsen the thoughts that currently plagued him.

He set off in the opposite direction of the village and walked aimlessly through the forest. He wanted to run away from it all but no matter how far he went, his heart never stopped hurting. He had decided long ago that it had to be a human weakness and even with his demonic strength, he was not nearly strong enough to handle it. He hated himself for causing Kikyou so much pain. He hated himself for causing Kagome so much pain. Yet, he spent most of his time concentrating on his own pain. All the times he had torn apart Kagome's heart and watched the pain sear through her, he never apologized. He always knew it tormented her, but he never fixed it. How could he fix it? So many times he had saved her from the hands of evil... just so he could later be the one to hold the knife. And Kikyou. He had failed to protect her. The most simple promises had been broken between them time and time again. His eyes burned. Yes, he deserved to die. If there was any certainty in the hanyou's mind, it was that one simple thought. He had broken the things he loved the most and nothing he ever did would fix them again.

He walked for hours on end without caring to notice where he was or that his direction had changed. He stomped through the foliage angrily, not mindful of the noise he was making. When he reached the clearing, his heart jumped. Every mournful thought that had previously plagued him, eluded him as he saw Kagome looking at him over her shoulder from her spot on the side of the bone-eaters well. He had seen her like that many times before, but swore he had never seen her look that beautiful. Well, perhaps he had that particular thought every time he saw her... but he also had a tendency to forget those things. Her dirt and tear stained skin was flushed and her hair fanned out from the pressure of the bandages on her head. She was still wearing Inu Yasha's haori wrapped tightly around her tiny frame, and she had changed out of her bloody and torn school uniform into the clothes Kaede had given her. To anyone one else she must have looked a fright, but she took Inu Yasha's breath away. The soft moonlight shimmered down her hair and reflected in her moist eyes. While Inu Yasha continued to stand at the edge of the clearing, she pressed her lips together and slightly furrowed her brow to give a silent questioning of the bizarre expression iced on his motionless face.

Still caught off guard, Inu Yasha gathered up all the control he could. He had to say something and it had to be fast. If he didn't, the tension in the air would rip him to pieces. Finally, he had something. Perfect.

"Wench! What the hell do you think you're doing? You can't go home yet! We're not done!"

In response to his yelling, Kagome let her lips fall into a frown and her back went rigid. Spinning around to fully face him, she yelled back.

"Stupid! I wasn't going home. I was looking for you! I have your armor, remember? I was worried."

"Hey, I don't need it! There's no demons left that I can't handle on my own."

Kagome turned her back toward the irate hanyou. Her back remained rigid and she drew in a deep breath. Inu Yasha, on the other hand held his own breath. He subconsciously slumped his shoulders and flattened his ears against his scalp. He knew what happened next. He'd seen in a hundred times. Any moment...

"Osuwari!"

Ah, yes. 'Osuwari'. All Kagome had to do was mutter that simple word and it sparked fire all through the hanyou's body. The feeling of the ground rushing up to meet him and then crushing him until he could no longer breathe brought so much feeling into his body that he made sure it happened at least once a day. In fact, Inu Yasha was so excited that he welcomed it with a long and colorful serenade of various four letter words that were sure to earn him three more 'Osuwari's.

"Damn you... bitch."

"You know, Inu Yasha?" Kagome said sweetly as she walked over toward the grounded Hanyou. On her way she slowly pulled off Inu Yasha's haori, which caused his eyes to glaze over for a moment and miss the look of sheer evil that lay just below her sweet exterior. "I think I will go home after all." she said, throwing his haori onto his still horizontal form. "Oh... and I'm not a bitch... so... Osuwari!"

Fuck.

Inu Yasha continued to lay face down in the dirt as Kagome jumped through the well.

"Stupid wench."

"I'm not so sure Kagome-sama would approve of 'wench' either, Inu Yasha"

Inu Yasha jerked his head around, surprised at Miroku's strained voice cutting in from behind. Sitting up, he began to pull his haori back over his arms and gave Miroku a quiet warning growl. In response, Miroku let out an exaggerated sigh.

"Inu Yasha, I did have a reason to come find you." Miroku replied calmly as he waited for Inu Yasha to finish struggling off the ground, "I will be accompanying Sango to her village in order to lay Kohaku to rest alongside the rest of their family. Sango has requested to be alone for a while, but would be greatly obliged if you and Kagome would come and pay your respects in a couple days."

Inu Yasha's features softened dramatically. "We'll be there."

With a soft smile, Miroku nodded. "Well, we'll be leaving before sunrise... tell Kagome goodbye for both of us."

"keh... she can come back when she's ready. If she wants to go stomping off like that, then she can go ahead. I don't got nothing to say to her until she returns."

Miroku hung his head and made a show of sighing dramatically. "Ah, Inu Yasha... may I suggest you being a bit nicer to her so that she may stick around longer?"

Inu Yasha merely grunted in response and Miroku walked off feeling slightly useless that his words always fell on deaf ears when it came to Inu Yasha.

After Miroku had completely left his sight, Inu Yasha sprang for the well. As far as he was concerned, Kagome was crazy if she thought she'd get off that easily. Inu Yasha blinked. Well, he knew she was crazy, but he would bring her back either way. He had to find the last shard as soon as possible, and he couldn't do it without Kagome by his side. In a flash, Inu Yasha jumped through the well and up the other side. He quickly bounded to the house and balanced himself on her window seal. Straining to look through her window, he flattened his cheek against the cool glass and spotted her lying on her bed with her head buried in her arms. He'd seen her like that a few times, and it could only mean one thing. She was hurt.

Suddenly frightened that some of those scary girls who went to school with Kagome might have launched some sort of secret attack, Inu Yasha quickly barged in. Kagome sat up, suddenly alarmed, and found herself nose to nose with her favorite dog boy. Time stopped as she sat there staring straight into his eyes, and her cheeks reddened as all her blood pounded up to her head. Her heart rate shot up as she felt his moist breath graze teasingly across her lips. They were so close. Kagome closed her eyes and Inu Yasha suddenly jerked away from her. When she opened her eyes, he looked almost horrified. And for the most part, he was horrified. He had gone to her bed and leaned over her to make sure she was okay when she had suddenly shot up. Their faces had been so close that their noses barely touched. This situation in itself had not been too difficult until Inu Yasha noticed the change in her scent. The deeper musky scent that mingled with her normal flowery scent, that literally had the power to drive him clinically insane. She was aroused. He'd never let her know in a million years what that did to him, or rather what it made him want her to do to him. Now, he sat on the opposite end of her bed, leaning slightly backwards to try and escape her scent that was seeking him out however hard he tried to ignore it. In his mind he noticed the confused and hurt look in her eyes and it caused a pocket of guilt within the pit of his stomach. Kagome just sat staring at him, much too embarrassed to do or say anything. Inu Yasha was the first to break the increasingly uncomfortable silence.

"This is no time to run home crying, there's still a jewel shard waiting for us and don't think for a moment that I'm letting you take a break when we're this damn close!"

"Hey, I have you know that the last 24 hours have been just a little bit stressful for me! I need a rest!" Kagome screamed back, defensively.

"Well you're not getting one, wench." Inu Yasha walked over and grabbed her arm, "And you still owe me an apology."

"An apology?! For what?!" Kagome asked, becoming increasingly enraged.

"For making me sit!"

"You deserved it." Kagome stated simply and her nonchalaunt attitude inspired Inu Yasha to walk over and grab her arm, preparing to pull her through the window with him to the well.

"I-nu-Ya-sha."

Inu Yasha flinched. He had only heard her voice drenched with that much evil a few times before and it promised loads of pain for him in the near future. Getting a sudden evil idea, he quickly jerked her to himself and held her tightly against his body.

"Say it... and you're going down with me."

In a flash her anger resided and a deep blush grew on her face as her eyes went wide with surprise. Despite his purpose, Inu Yasha was holding her tighter than he ever had before and it was sending all sorts of strange signals all over her body. She was slowly growing faint from the warmth drifting off his body and she wondered if it would be too bold for her to wrap her arms around his stomach. With increased embarrassment, she settled for shyly resting her hands beside her head so she could lightly grasp the fabric of his haori in her small hands so it could be used as a shield to conceal her deepening blush. With her ear held snugly against his chest and she could hear the rhythmic beating of his heart increasing slightly at her movement. Inu Yasha froze.

Well...

That plan completely backfired. The feel of her warm body in his arms had always brought him comfort, but she usually did not react this way on those rare occasions that he allowed himself to hold her. He could feel her hands pulling at his haori and the feeling elated him. The tension had parted the top of the haori slightly and her warm breath was pouring innocently across his chest. As his mind grew increasingly fuzzy, he decided that it wouldn't hurt too much if he held her a little bit longer. The delicious scents streaming off her were becoming quite enjoyable, though they were torturous. He began to wonder why he had not bolted across the room as he usually did when the mood changed. Was he really that exhausted? Mindlessly, he began to stroke Kagome's silky black hair. He heard her breathing rate increase and he suddenly knew he had to break their embrace before something happened. He moved his hands up to her shoulders and gently pushed her back. He carefully looked her in the eyes and felt a little dazed by the fiery emotions he saw swimming inside them.

"So... that's all I have to do to keep from sitting?"

Kagome blinked. Had he done that on purpose? She tried to be angry but her body was simply too busy coping with a hundred other emotions to even consider 'angry'. Sighing dejectedly, Kagome headed toward her closet. She'd leave with Inu Yasha, but she'd be damned if she wouldn't have a bath first.

"You can wait here, I'll be back..." Glancing back, she saw him inspecting her portable CD player with an utmost fascination. "Don't break anything." she added in a darker, more threatening tone.

"Keh." was his only response.

Kagome eased out her door and tried to remain quiet as she walked down the hallway so that she would not awaken any of her sleeping family members. Carefully, she slid through the door and laid out her change of clothes. Before undressing, she caught her reflection in the mirror. Upon arriving home she had changed her head bandage for a smaller option and rinsed off her face. She had forgotten, however, that she was still wearing the clothes Kaede had given her. Frowning down at herself, she cursed under her breath. She hated wearing those clothes because they made her look just like Kikyou. A chill suddenly ran down Kagome's spine. Those moments she'd just had with Inu Yasha... was he imagining her as Kikyou? Kagome bit her lip to hold back the flood of tears that threatened to overflow at any moment. Frustrated, she tore off the clothes as quickly as possible.

Back in her room, Inu Yasha lay sprawled out on her bed and smiled faintly while he stared at the ceiling. Leave it to Kagome to turn his misery into sheer euphoria. Breathing in deeply, he took in her joyous scent and rolled over to situate himself on her bed. In the back of his mind there was a slight tugging as to why he had not stopped her from taking her bath and drug her to the well with him. He decided he was a lot more tired than he had originally thought. He had just started slipping off into a peaceful slumber when the door opened and he could swear the temperature dropped ten degrees. Opening one eye, he watched Kagome digging through her closet and he wondered why she had not said anything to him. He noticed her and reach her face and wipe something away. He could faintly smell the salt from her tears, and internally begged for her to face him so that he could read the expression on her face. Why would she be crying?

Carefully, Inu Yasha strode over toward Kagome and bent down on one side to get a peak at her expression. She stubbornly whipped her head around at his concerned gaze. She walked to the opposite side of her room without acknowledging his presence. He made a soft growl in response to the cold shoulder obviously being directed toward him. He was completely clueless as to what might be bothering Kagome so much, but he sensed that it was somehow his fault. The more he thought about it, the more his temper begged to flare. As far as he was concerned, she got angry about the dumbest things and he was not about to apologize for whatever frivolous detail ailed her this time.

"I left my bag in the feudal era... could you help me carry some of this stuff?" Kagome asked meekly in a slightly broken voice.

Inu Yasha winced at the sound of her voice. Although he couldn't quite place it, he heard something in her soft request that tugged violently at the core of his soul. The soft dark undertones beneath her usually bubbly voice exposed a deep pain. He longed to heal her wounds but did not have the slightest idea of how he should go about it. Bowing his head in defeat, he realized that he had once again hurt her just like he always did. He could not even begin to imagine what had happened to her since she had left to go take her bath, but he knew something had upset her deeply and he could do nothing but sit back and observe the damage. He slowly walked over to her and wordlessly lifted up her armload of clothing. Kagome turned and lifted a hand in protest, but Inu Yasha simply turned around and jumped from her window. Sighing, Kagome took it as her cue to leave and quietly crept out the house.

The cool night air brushed against her legs and she wondered if she should have worn some warmer clothes. The pink sweater offered little consolation to her bare legs. Kagome laughed sardonically to herself as she considered what it must say about her own vanity. After all this time, she would have thought she would learn to buy more feudal friendly clothes but she still followed her sense of what looked best. She knew it really was utterly ridiculous, and it wasn't like she had anyone to impress. Okay, so that was a lie. But Inu Yasha just thought she was weird for the things she wore. Smiling slightly, she decided not to think about what had happened earlier between Inu Yasha and herself. It didn't matter if he was thinking about Kikyou, because her and Inu Yasha were just friends, no matter how badly she wanted to be more. She could always worry about those things later. When everything was said and done… she would go back to living the life of a normal teenage girl. She would go shopping with her friends, go out on dates, and live her life the way she always had. She tried her best to pay little heed to the empty feeling that ached deep in her chest at those thoughts.

By the time she reached the well, Inu Yasha was standing with his back toward her looking into the well. His only acknowledgment of her presence was a twitch of his ears. Suddenly hurt by his obvious avoidance, she crept slowly to his side. Craning her neck to look at his sidelong face, she tried to read his expression. Kagome reached her hands out once again to grab some of the clothing he held, but Inu Yasha simply drew it from her reach. Wordlessly he jumped through the well. Kagome pulled her arms around herself and wondered why he was suddenly acting so cold. Shrugging to herself she followed his lead and pulled herself over the edge of the well.

When she reached the other side, she noticed that the air was turning deep blue as morning threatened to shatter the night sky. As she pulled herself over the wall of the well, her exhaustion hit her at an unbearable force. Two sleepless nights in a row had left her completely drained. The short nap she had after their battle did little to compensate her tired bones. Shifting her things into one arm, Inu Yasha helped pull her over the well and she locked arms around his arm for support. Kagome made a small quiet and contented noise as she leaned her head on his shoulder when they started walking. Inu Yasha stiffened vaguely at the sudden contact but welcomed it nonetheless. Breathing a sigh of relief, he glanced down at her and decided her anger must have resided. Even though he wished he could know what had caused her discomfort, he did not dare ask for fear of reopening the wound.

After reaching the village, both Inu Yasha and Kagome slept most of the day. By the time Kagome awoke, the smell of cooking oils and fresh vegetables drafted to her nose, awakening a growing ache in the pit of her stomach. Sitting up and rubbing her eyes, Kagome saw Kaede preparing dinner on the opposite side of the hut. With a bright smile Kagome stretched her arms above herself and slowly limped over to the fire, drawn by the delicious prospect of nourishment. Every step caused a sharp intake of air as she moved her stiff muscles.

"Child, you should rest some more after you finish eating. Your body is still recovering from the extra stress you put on it yesterday." Kaede suggested while pushing a bowl of herbs toward the girl that would help with her sore muscles.

"Oh, I will… but me and Inu Yasha have to decide what we're going to do… when we're going to continue looking for the last jewel shard."

Kaede nodded and the two continued to make small talk while they ate. After the meal, Kagome went outside and squinted in the afternoon sun. She skimmed the area for any sign of Inu Yasha, but found no trace of the young hanyou. Taking in a deep and refreshing breath, she started off toward the goshinboku, certain that she would find him lounging about the sacred tree. Halfway there, she heard a familiar voice calling from behind her.

"Kagome-chan! Wait! You never came to see me!"

Kagome whipped around and held out her arms just in time to welcome the little kitsune who was practically falling over himself in an effort to reach her. Smiling, she gave Shippou a warm hug and silently thanked herself that she had convinced him to stay in the village while the others fought the final battle.

"Is Naraku really gone, Kagome?"

"Yes." Kagome stated while placing the small fox demon on the ground. Bending on to her knees, she continued "I promise I'll tell you all about it later, but right now I really need to talk to Inu Yasha. Have you seen him anywhere?"

"Umm... no, not since this morning when you two got back. Hey, did you bring any of those candy things back with you?"

"Oh, no. I'm sorry Shippou, Inu Yasha was in a real hurry to get back for some reason. I'll get some next time though."

Shippou gave a slight pout but nodded his thanks. Afterward, he ran back off toward the village to continue his games with the village children. Kagome smiled and continued on her way. After reaching the tree, however, she still had not found Inu Yasha. Groaning in annoyance, she continued to trudge through the woods hoping that she would find him before nightfall since she did not imagine she had time to get back to the village before then. Just when she had given up hope, she caught a quick movement of red in a nearby clearing. Crouching down, she slowly eased her way toward the edge of the woods to observe his actions.

She covered her mouth to stifle a laugh at the sight. Ahead of her, Inu Yasha tried to balance himself on Kagome's bicycle, but failed miserable. Too involved in his current mission, he completely missed Kagome's presence. Crawling forward for a better view, Kagome smiled widely as he fell over and the bicycle came down on top of him. Jumping backward, he growled menacingly at the damned contraption and began to unsheath Tessaiga. Kagome, suddenly afraid for the welfare of her precious bicycle jumped into the clearing for its rescue.

"Inu Yasha! Osuwari!"

"Augh! Fuck."

Kagome marched triumphantly toward her capsized bicycle and lifted it to inspect for any sign of unwarranted attacks at the hand of a certain hanyou. Convinced that no major damage had been caused, she turned to face an angry, but slightly blushing Inu Yasha.

"Would you like me to help you learn?"

"Hey! I wasn't trying to use your stupid... stupid... thing!"

Kagome raised an eyebrow, but Inu Yasha continued his ranting.

"I just wanted to... see if it was safe... and... and... it's not! That thing could kill you!"

Kagome breathed out in slight frustration, but still had to struggle to keep from giggling as she watched Inu Yasha squirm, having been caught trying to use her things. "Inu Yasha, it's okay if you want to ride my bicycle. There's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"I'M NOT EMBARASSED!" yelled the further reddening hanyou.

Sighing again, Kagome still held the bicycle in an upright position and used one hand to motion toward the seat. Inu Yasha remained at his place on the ground and simply stared at her request as if he didn't understand what she meant. Squinting her eyes slightly to glare at him, he finally stood up, not wanting to receive the punishment that he knew was sure to follow that particular look. Shyly, he climbed back on to the bicycle and tried his best to look angry. Kagome kept her hold on the handle bars and instructed him to lean forward more. He grunted discontentedly, but followed her instructions.

"Now, keep your feet on the ground for a minute. Now I want you to concentrate on balancing - make sure you've got equal weight on both sides. Now, put your feet on the pedals."

Kagome observed quickly that this was much of his problem. Smiling to herself she leaned down to help him place his feet in the right spot. "Okay, I'm going to let go now. I want you to move one foot forward and then the other... keep alternating like that, okay?"

Inu Yasha just glared at her and she returned his glare with a warm smile. She removed her hands, and quickly stepped out of his way. This time, he made it all the way to the opposite side of the clearing. Kagome smiled and clapped her hands in congratulations. He turned around and growled.

"Okay, okay, we can stop for today." Kagome's smile grew and in sudden inspiration she ran over and grabbed Inu Yasha's hand and clasped it in her own. He flinched, surprised at the sudden show of affection but still followed her lead. Kagome pulled him out of the clearing and on to the edge of a hill overlooking the village. She sat down on the ground and patted the space next to her. Inu Yasha shyly heeded her request and sat down next to her, though at a slightly extended distance than what she had indicated. Kagome, however, inched closer and leaned on his side. She wrapped her arms around his and smiled as she looked out at the sunset. Inu Yasha glanced about nervously, trying to figure out what had just happened and exactly what it was they were currently doing. After a few minutes of silence, Kagome finally spoke.

"Kaede told me that Miroku and Sango had gone to the demon-exterminator village. We should go there tomorrow." Kagome looked up at Inu Yasha and continued, "I know you're in a hurry to find the last shard so we can leave immediately after that."

Kagome continued looking up at him, waiting for a response but received only the distant look that had consumed his eyes as he stared off on to the horizon.

"What are you thinking about?" Kagome questioned quietly, not sure if she wanted him to answer truthfully.

"Huh? Oh... nothing."

Kagome frowned. She wanted nothing more than for him to open up to her completely. Although she feared that day would never come, she treasured every little moment they shared that pulled his heart closer to her grasp. In a sudden desire of warmth, she cuddled up closer to Inu Yasha, causing him to stiffen in her grasp. There were few times when she gathered up the courage to so shamelessly beg for his acceptance. She wanted so much more, but she would happily take what little she could get. Tomorrow he would be the same cranky Inu Yasha, dragging her from place to place in order to complete the jewel just as it had been ever since she fell through the well on that first day. Kagome yawned and wondered what the future would hold for them as they continued their journey. She wondered how long it would take to locate the final shard and what demons would come out of the woodwork and build obstacles along their way. She thought of all the happy moments she could share with Inu Yasha, like the one they shared at that moment. Deep beneath all those thoughts, however, another fear silently consumed at her heart. With the journey finally coming to an end... would she lose Inu Yasha forever? Would she finally lose him to Kikyou or could she convince him to live? She had so little time left.

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A/N: This is the re-edited version. I didn't change too much, but I noticed a few errors I overlooked before I posted it.

please review!!!!!!!!!