InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ To Nowhere ❯ The Goodbye ( Chapter 6 )

Disclaimer: Inu-Yasha does not belong to me.

A/N: For whatever reason, I can't read my reviews… so I can't respond. I'll try next chapter, kay? Hope you enjoy this one.

Thanks for reading!

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Inu Yasha slowed his pace as he reached the clearing. He saw Kikyou standing on the opposite side, looking off to the right, with her back turned slightly toward him. The wind rustled through her hair, causing it to flutter across her ivory skin. Her eyes were locked on the distant horizon as though she were deep in thought. She looked delicate in the cold breeze, as the wind pushed her clothes up against her body. Her lips parted as though to speak, but no words were spoken. She looked as perfect as ever.

Inu Yasha stopped before he reached her, watching her carefully, apprehensive of what would follow. He quietly whispered her name, and she slowly turned toward him. Inu Yasha was surprised by the look in her eyes. They did not hold the sorrow they had in the past since her resurrection, though a speck of sadness still remained. Inu Yasha wondered, however, whether or not it had always been there… even before her death. As she stood in front of him, bathed in the moonlight, she looked ethereal. Her eyes were even… moist? Was she crying?

"Inu Yasha…" she began. "Naraku is finally gone?"

Inu Yasha nodded dumbly; knowing it was not really a question.

"You know, also, it is not done." She added while turning her eyes away from him again.

He didn't reply, but only looked on as she continued. His eyes were glued to her, as he remained mesmerized by her gentle movements.

"I had wished to see the jewel destroyed." She said, keeping her face toward the wind. "Yet… I'm tired." As she finished speaking, she turned her head back to Inu Yasha, and her lips pressed together and she smiled weakly.

Inu Yasha's heart stopped. He had not seen her smile like that since she was alive. But what was more frightening, was the thought that had struck through his veins the moment he saw it. He flinched slightly, as he realized the moment she had smiled, he thought of Kagome. It was the first time he looked at Kikyou and saw Kagome, instead of the other way around. He remembered the kiss, and the sliver of guilt that had accompanied it. He loved both of them. One held his heart; the other held his life.

His change of expression did not go unnoticed by Kikyou. She tilted her head slightly to the right and sadness promptly washed through her eyes, the smile long gone.

"I do not wish to continue living like this…" she continued, her sorrow-filled voice drawing back Inu Yasha's attention.

"Kikyou…" he started.

"I did not wish to come back from the dead in the first place. I long to rest." She finished, her voice growing slightly desperate, still not meeting his gaze.

"Kikyou… not now… please…" Inu Yasha pleaded in a half-broken voice. Kagome was better now, and he figured Kikyou must have been waiting for her to recover before calling him. It was done. There was nothing he could do.

She looked to him, and the small smile returned. Her eyes once again lost most of the sadness, replaced by something close to contentment. A loose strand of hair danced across her features, making her look distant, as though worlds were separating them, rather than a short breeze. She did not, however, falter in her soft and sincere smile. It was eerie in it's own right, but it spoke the words she could not say.

Inu Yasha stopped. He finally understood. She wasn't asking him to come with her, she was telling him goodbye.

"No!" He said, rushing toward her.

He enveloped her in a hug, as he had done so many times since her return. Something he had not done nearly enough when she had been alive.

"You don't have to go." He whispered into her ear. "We can be together, like this."

Kikyou closed her eyes, and let Inu Yasha hold her. "You know it can't be that way." She said firmly, although years worth of longing seeped through her words. Each breath uttering a thousand broken promises.

"Why?" Inu Yasha asked, knowing there were plenty of reasons. Yet, he was unwilling to let her go.

"I'm already gone Inu Yasha." She said quietly. "My soul has moved on."

"No." Inu Yasha pleaded, "You're right here. I don't care about anything else."

"You're wrong." Kikyou replied. "This body moves because of my feelings… my hatred… my love. My heart is worn out. I have no need to go on like this. I know the jewel is safe in Kagome's hands."

Inu Yasha flinched slightly at the use of Kagome's name. His guilt toward Kagome started washing over him, but he held Kikyou tighter. He couldn't accept that she was gone when she felt so real. He refused to believe that she was nothing more than a memory. Every nerve in his body told him otherwise. He was holding her, and she was holding him back.

"I don't want it to be like this." He said, frustrated.

"You lie." Kikyou replied softly, revealing a smile that he would never see as he held her head against his chest. So much would go unspoken, just as so many things already had. Neither would ever know what could have been, but both now understood that it could never be again.

Slowly, her body grew colder in his arms. He felt dust slipping through his hands but he refused to open his eyes. He muttered her name one last time, and she was gone. He lifted her white hair ribbon in his hands and inspected it in his hands as though it would break. For a long time, Inu Yasha stared into the darkness, not wanting to move. Suddenly, he heard leaves cracking behind him. He didn't have to turn around to know who it was.

Kagome came walking through the foliage, flinching every now and then, when her bare feet met something sharp. She stopped and looked up at him, leaning her hand on a tree as she stood at the edge of the clearing. She held an odd look on her face and Inu Yasha couldn't help but wonder how much she saw. He decided she didn't see too much because her eyes held more worry than sadness. Or was it pity?

"Ar- are you… okay?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah." He said, his expression remaining stoic.

Kagome scrunched up her face slightly, and tilted her head. "No you're not."

"Wh- why are you out here?" Inu Yasha asked, "You should be in bed."

Kagome blushed slightly, and looked at her toes. "I… uh…" she started, worrying that anything she said might hurt his feelings. "I was afraid… you were gong to leave without saying goodbye." She finished and continued looking at the ground, not willing to meet his gaze.

"Oh." was Inu Yasha's only response.

"Well, umm…" Kagome started after a few moments of silence, "I'm going back now… I know you probably want to be alone." She turned and started walking off in the direction of the hut. "Umm… if you need to…" she started to add, but changed her mind. "If you need me, I'll be there. Okay?" She looked back at him briefly to flash an encouraging smile, but quickly turned back around. She mentally slapped herself for sounding so stupid. She decided that she was probably the last person he wanted to see right about then, and she was somewhat thankful. She didn't know what she should say to him. Even if there were a hundred questions she wanted to ask.

On her way back to the hut, she heard something behind her. She stopped and turned around to see Inu Yasha following her, looking slightly embarrassed. He stopped and stood still, not saying anything for a long time.

"I don't want to be alone." He finally said, in a quiet voice.

Kagome seemed to understand. She walked back to him and wrapped his hand in hers. She knew that he meant it in a much larger sense than just that night. Without either speaking a word, she led him back to the hut. Once inside, Kagome wordlessly walked to the futon, sat down, and wrapped herself up in the covers. She looked at Inu Yasha as he sat in the corner. His eyes were open, but he looked off into space. Kagome bit her lip, wondering if she should say anything. Fortunately, she didn't have to.

"Kagome?" Inu Yasha asked.

"Yes?" she answered, trying to sound normal, but she really didn't want to talk about Kikyou.

"Did you really go all the way out there, just to say goodbye?" he asked quietly.

Kagome looked down at her hands. "Well, yeah… I mean, it's not like I could have done anything else."

"You wouldn't have tried to stop me?" Inu Yasha asked in a strained voice.

"Well… no." Kagome said with a frown. Although she really wondered if she would have been able to let him go. "I know I couldn't stop you, no matter how much I wanted to. I respected your decision. You know that."

"You could have." He said in a low voice. He said it as though it scared even him to say it out loud.

Kagome stopped and stared at him for a moment. He was still staring off into space, and it didn't look as though he would elaborate. It did not matter, though. Those simple words had spoken so much more than Kagome ever thought she would hear from Inu Yasha.

After he heard Kagome's breathing slow to signify she was peacefully asleep, Inu Yasha went outside. He sat on the ground, leaning his back against the wall of the hut. Looking off into the distance, he attempted to untangle the events of the day. He really wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel. He had been sure he would follow Kikyou into death, but he hadn't. He felt uncomfortable with the new situation since he had never considered it. He didn't understand why or how, but he was somehow thankful. It nagged at him because he felt guilty. He got what he wanted… but at the same time, he didn't. She let him go, just as he had hoped she might, but it hurt. It wasn't working out the way he hoped.

His heart was twisting with the tension put on his heavy soul. He thought of her smile. It reminded him so much of Kagome. Specifically, the faint smile she had given him on the day he made his promise to Kikyou. He had been ready to say goodbye to Kagome forever, until he saw that smile. It wasn't her normal, bubbly smile that accompanied her sweet laughter, but it effected him just as much. It was when he saw that smile playing on Kikyou's lips that he realized he would not go. If Kagome had said she still needed him, he would have stayed. No questions asked. He would have turned his back on Kikyou in an instance, and it scared him. Had his love for her really been so shallow?

But, Gods how he wanted Kagome. He had done everything he could to push her away. He called her names, lied to her, and tried to hate her. None of it had worked. Somehow, she had seen through it all and stayed by his side. She tore through almost every wall he built up and it was killing him. In fact, Kagome tortured him. His feelings had been so much simpler when it was just Kikyou.

Now, Kikyou was gone. Only, he knew that Kagome would always remind him of Kikyou. He also knew how much it bothered her, and he couldn't blame her. It was the biggest wall between them, and Inu Yasha saw no way around. No matter how much he wanted her, he would never have Kagome. It was just too complicated.

When morning came, Kagome stretched in her futon. She looked outside and groaned when she realized it was really late. She wobbled to the doorway, and leaned outside. Her muscles ached, but she felt much better. She saw Inu Yasha sleeping outside in the sun. She would have smiled at his unintentional cute-ness had she not already been pissed about him letting her sleep all day.

"Inu Yasha!" she yelled from the doorway.

He flicked one of his ears, but he didn't stir. Kagome did her best human growl, and looked for something to throw at him.

"I know you're awake!" She yelled. "I still need my shoes!"

Inu Yasha opened one eye and shot her an irritated look over his shoulder. Kagome glared and started grinding her teeth when he turned his back to her again. She had intended to be as nice as possible to him that day, but he was making it really difficult.

"INU YASHA!" she screamed.

"What, wench?" Inu Yasha asked in an overly agitated voice. "That did hurt, you know."

"THAT was the point, stupid!" Kagome yelled back.

"What the hell do you need them for anyway. You went outside last night."

"And it hurt!"

"Well, then stay inside."

"I have to use the bathroom!" Kagome yelled, blushing slightly at her outburst.

"Bathroom?" Inu Yasha questioned calmly, keeping his back turned toward her.

"Oh, you've been around me long enough to know what I'm talking about!"

"Keh. Not my problem."

"Ugh! You're impossible!" Kagome screamed. She scanned the village from her spot in the doorway, incredulously, while she desperately looked for Kaede.

Inu Yasha kept his smile hidden from the irate girl behind him. The last thing he wanted to do was answer any uncomfortable questions about the previous night. Past experiences had taught him that getting her angry was the easiest way to avoid such situations. He couldn't help but be amused as she stomped around behind him. She was cute when she was angry.

Inu Yasha snorted at that last thought. Although, he knew it was perfectly true.

Kagome paced back in forth in the hut. Kaede finally gave her a pair of sandals, and Kagome rushed out the door. As she exited, she glared at the sleeping hanyou. He lay on his side, his head propped up in his hand with his back turned toward her. She slowly walked up to him, but he didn't move an inch.

When she got a few inches behind him, she kicked him hard in his back.

"Why do you have to be such a stupid jerk all the time?!" Kagome asked angrily.

"Ow! Woman! That hurt!"

"You deserved it!" Kagome said as she stepped over him and walked away.

"Stupid bitch." He muttered under his breath as she walked off, closing his eyes to resume his nap.

When Kagome returned, Inu Yasha was waiting outside the hut, staring at the sky. Kagome rolled her eyes at the bored expression on his face.

"You know, we do need to go get my things."

"No we don't!" Inu Yasha spat out.

"Yes. We do." Kagome insisted. "If you won't let me go back there, they you'll just have to go by yourself."

"Don't wanna." Inu Yasha said, sounding bored.

"Inu Yasha…" Kagome whined.

"You don't need any of your stupid stuff. It just takes more time to carry."

Kagome glanced around nervously. The approaching winter left Kagome shivering in her pajamas, cut above her ankles. More nerve racking to her, though, she wasn't wearing a bra. The thin cotton of her pajamas did little to hide her growing problem in the cold evening air.

"Really… we need to go back…" she said, not wanting to have to explain her problem to Inu Yasha.

Inu Yasha made a noise and ignored her.

"Will you look at me?!" she yelled, putting her hands in fists at her side.

Inu Yasha did look. Only, his eyes were directed slightly lower then what she had intended.

"Inu Yasha!" Kagome yelled, covering her chest with her arms.

Inu Yasha quickly looked up, "huh?".

"Osuwari!" she yelled. "That's exactly what I'm talking about! We have to go back!" she continued ranting, her voice growing shrill. She stomped her feet for added emphasis in her growing frustration. She couldn't believe he actually looked.

"You should tape those down or something!" Inu Yasha complained from the ground.

Kagome had never been so red in her life. "Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari!" she screamed. "OSUWARI!". She wanted to cry.

"Would you shut up! We're not going back and that's final!" Inu Yasha gritted out as soon as he could raise his head off the ground. "Now, would you please stop saying that?!"

"I hate you!" Kagome yelled.

"Shut up!" Inu Yasha yelled back.

Kagome gritted her teeth and started taking deep breaths.

"Well, at least one of us has to go back eventually. That village had something to do with the last shard. Remember?" Kagome reasoned, using all her effort to keep herself from `sitting' him to hell.

"Yeah, but we don't have to go back now. You still need rest." Inu Yasha reasoned back.

Kagome cocked her head, calming down slightly. She was surprised at Inu Yasha's concern.

"Are you feeling alright?" Kagome asked before she turned toward the hut.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" Inu Yasha asked, giving her an odd look.

"Well, you're usually so worried about the stupid jewel." She replied.

"Well, we have the rest of it, so I don' think one shard is going to make much of a difference." Inu Yasha said.

Kagome paled for a moment and then giggled nervously.

"You better just be acting weird again." Inu Yasha said, his expression growing dark.

"Oh… well, you know…"

"Tell me you did not leave the jewel there."

Kagome smiled nervously and studied her hands.

"BITCH!" Inu Yasha yelled, as he stood up.

"Hey! You don't have to be so mean about it!"

"Why don't you have it on?! You're supposed to be wearing it!"

"I was going to go to sleep. It would hurt if I rolled over on top of it!" Kagome yelled back at him.

"Out of my way!" Inu Yasha gritted out as he pushed her aside and entered the hut. He returned shortly after and thrust Kaede's bow and arrows in her hand. "Here. Get on."

Kagome did as he asked, quietly. She knew he was really angry. She also knew he did technically have good reason to be, but still, there was not much they could do about it until they got there. Funny how he changed his mind when the jewel was involved.

As they set off, Inu Yasha mentally noted that the demon scent had not completely worn off Kagome. It was faint, and he almost missed it, but it was still there. He didn't intend on telling her though, it was enough that he had to worry about it.

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A/N: That was a fun chapter to write… not really sure why. I think I should write an Inu/Kik story sometime. Hmm… I'll have to think about it…

The next chapter should be posted soon. Please review!