InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ To Nowhere ❯ The Truth ( Chapter 9 )

Disclaimer: Inu-Yasha is not mine. I married Kenshin instead.

A/N: New chapter. Yay! Sorry it took so long to get out…

essie: thanks for another review! I'm glad you're still reading. Please let me know what you think of this chapter.

Inuzands: I'm glad you like it! I you like this chapter as well! Even though I wanted angst… I got more fluff. Please let me know what you think!

Kagome14: Thanks for another review! Yes, Kouga got shown up big time. Hehe. Well, here's the new chapter. I hope you like it!

Turoosh: Thanks! I'm happy you are still reading! Please keep letting me hear from you. Thanks again!

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Kagome stood with her mouth open, wishing she could take the words back. She meant them. She meant them with all of her heart, but she had not wanted to say it. Not like that.

She barely registered the disgusted look on Kouga's face as he vowed to prove his worthiness over Inu Yasha, or whatever it was he said, before storming off. He was gone, and Kagome was alone… with Inu Yasha. She was still facing the space Kouga had previously occupied, and she was too afraid to turn around. She hoped that Inu Yasha would say something, but he didn't. She stood like that for minutes. Wind rustled through the trees, brushing up the hairs on her skin, but no other sound was heard. It was almost ominous and it made Kagome feel humiliated and cruel.

It was just much too soon. He was still hurting over Kikyou's death. He should not have to deal with a lovesick schoolgirl, Kagome reasoned to herself. She had messed up. His continuing silence only confirmed her fears.

She turned around quickly, expecting to see him still sanding behind her, while he waited for her to say something but he wasn't there. Kagome glanced around, slightly panicked, to find him leaning against a tree to her right. She could barely make out the outline of his form in the darkness. He had his arms folded and his eyes were closed. Kagome tilted her head, wondering if he was pretending to be asleep. Did he hate her now?

She slowly walked to his spot and knelt down in front of him. He didn't acknowledge her presence. Kagome decided that she would not apologize. There was nothing to apologize for. She said she loved him. She meant it.

She bent down slightly and tried to look up at his face to inspect his expression. She thought that he might just be acting shy. She frowned when she caught sight of his set jaw. He was actually angry. She began to get angry, herself, wondering how he could twist something so kindhearted around and blame it on her.

"Inu Yasha…" she started, carefully, "I meant it. I won't take it back. I just thought -"

"DON'T SAY IT!" he yelled, suddenly.

Kagome sat back, wondering if she should feel hurt or confused. After all this time, why was he still pushing her away? Didn't he see it was too late?

"Inu…" she began, as she lifted a hand to touch his face. He knocked her hand away.

"Don't you get it?!" he spat out. "We can't be like that!"

"Inu Yasha…" she said slowly, trying to hold back her tears. "What are you talking about?"

"Did I ever say ANYTHING that would make you say something like that?! Why would you say that?"

Kagome looked at him, confused. Why was he doing this? How could he not understand? She bit her quivering lip in any effort to keep her tears from flooding across her skin once again. Her eyes burned and her throat felt dry. She searched desperately for the words to say, but she could think of nothing. As much as she tried, she could not understand why he was still forcing her out of his life so strongly. How could her words have become so vile to him?

"You're Kagome." He said fiercely, before quieting down to a lower voice. "You can't say things like that. I'm just… I'm just a lousy hanyou"

Kagome glared at him in the dark. For some reason, the words struck her harder than any violent blow she had ever taken during their journeys. After all she had done, after everything she had told him, it appeared as though it had done nothing. To her, it felt as though a knife was ground through her chest. She would have defended Inu Yasha to anyone. She would never let anyone else do anything to bring him down. His words struck that violent cord deep within her. It was a nerve she rarely acknowledged, but it ran deep. Something deep inside her being would not allow such things to be said about Inu Yasha.

He was touching his hand to his cheek before he even realized he had been slapped. He looked at her with wide eyes as though she'd gone crazy.

Kagome looked at him through her own tear filled eyes. "You idiot!" she yelled between her sobs. She vaguely noticed that her palm stung where she had hit Inu Yasha. She had never intended to do anything like that to him, but her emotions were taking over.

Inu Yasha just stared at her. He had never seen her so upset. He couldn't understand what had made her act so crazy. He watched her as she stood and walked away from him. Her body was wrecked with sobs and his heart tore as he listened to the sad noises she made. She shakily picked up her pajamas and walked toward the village. Her feet dragged through the brush and her tears continued to fall, as she left him behind. He stood and followed, but stayed far enough behind so that she wouldn't hear him. He felt awful for causing so much pain in her, but he only wanted her to be safe. He was not right for her. She had to understand.

As he followed her, he considered his actions and pain twisted through his body. He had once been afraid that she could never have feelings for him, and now that he knew she did, he wanted nothing to do with her. It was just too hard. Something horrible would happen to her. Love was not a wise emotion for anyone wanting to live for a long period. He had Kagome by his side, and that is all that mattered. The fusing of desire and fulfillment that had haunted their relationship for so long was at its breaking point. Only, Inu Yasha was unprepared to face the consequences. He had long before forbid himself to have Kagome. That would not change.

As they reached the village, he watched Kagome step into the hut while still wiping tears from her eyes. He stood on the edge of the woods and watched the doorway. The orange glow illuminating from the doorway signified that the fire was still burning. He walked up to the hut and leaned his back against the wall. He heard materials moving inside and figured Kagome was making dinner for herself.

A soft smile played on his lips as he thought of her cooking. She always made such weird foods but he loved to watch her make them. He had only seen her prepare meals a couple times since they had been traveling together but he remembered clearly. It always made him feel odd. He felt somehow warm when he watched her cook. She seemed so happy.

A sudden crash brought him back to reality. He heard Kagome curse loudly from inside. He smiled, satisfied that he was rubbing off on her. The silence that followed brought him back to a frown. He pressed his head against the cool wood of the hut to find out if she was crying again. He wished he still had his demon senses. It was easier for him to understand Kagome that way. He always knew if she was sad, hurt, or afraid. As a human, he was clueless.

Sighing loudly, he stood and briskly entered the hut. After he entered, he saw that Kagome was sitting in the middle of the floor with her knees drawn up to her chest. Her bare feet were tucked under the hakama and her arms were pulled tightly around her legs. Her hair was disheveled and lay wildly around her face. The fire reflected moist tear tracks across her ivory skin but her eyes held little emotion as she stared into the fire.

"Ka-Kagome?" he asked apprehensively. She didn't respond. He slowly walked toward her. Even in his human form, he could sense her despair. She was hurting and it was his entire fault. He hated himself, but he had no other choice. He could not be with her no matter how much he wanted to. There was too much pain between them. There were too many wounds that would never be healed, and most had been inflicted by him. He stood still as he watched her, waiting for any sort of response.

"Why won't you trust me?" she asked in a soft voice when he stood above her. She didn't turn to look at him.

"Kagome, it's not-"

"Yes, it is." She replied in a calm voice. "You don't trust me. I guess, at this point, you never will, huh?" she asked and looked up at him with a weak smile.

Though her smile usually made his life worth living, that one shattered his soul into a thousand pieces. Not finding the right words, Inu Yasha bent down and enveloped her into a tight embrace. He pulled his arms around the front of her chest and pulled her back against him. He leaned his face into her neck, waiting for the words to come.

Kagome was about to object when she felt something warm on her neck. At first, she was confused, but she realized… he was crying. She felt his warm tears trickling down her shoulder, and suddenly, her throat was tight. She had seen him get misty eyed a few times when her life had been on the line and maybe a couple tears here and there, but she had never known him to full-out cry. It tugged at her heart to hear the pitiful noises he made in the silent room. Kagome didn't know what to do. He had just told her that he did not want her to love him. What did he want?

"I'm sorry." He breathed, "I shouldn't have yelled at you."

Kagome put her hand on his arms. Anger boiled just beneath her pain, but she did her best to hold it in. He had to know she was not upset because he yelled at her. She bit her lip, wishing it were not so complicated. She treasured the warmth that welled up inside her heart as she was held against him. Her head hurt from all the emotions coursing through her, but she was not yet willing to give up. Something deep inside her told her to fight. Yet, words were not ready to roll of her tongue. She was suddenly unsure of her own feelings.

"Gods, Kagome… I love you so much."

Kagome's eyes went wide at his words. "Really?" she asked in a soft voice, and turned to look at him.

He looked at her as though he couldn't remember what he said. "Stupid girl. You didn't know that already?"

"Why?" she asked.

Inu Yasha furrowed his brows at her. `Why?' What kind of a question was that? "Because I do. You didn't tell me why." He said finally.

Kagome gave him hurt look. "That's not what I meant."

Inu Yasha struggled to understand. He finally did. "You think… I love you because you remind me of Kikyou?"

Kagome frowned, but said nothing.

"You're such an idiot." He said, pulling her tighter and tucking her head under his chin.

"But I do remind you of her?"

"Kagome…"

"Then, how do you know? How do you know it's me you love, and not her?" Kagome asked, growing more upset.

For a moment he did not answer. He could not find the answer within himself and Kagome's face darkened as a result. He watched her look away and saw the light from the fire reflecting in the tears falling from the brim of her eyes. His heart ached, but he could offer her no honest answer. He looked down, refusing to watch her in such pain. Pain caused by him.

Something in him snapped, and he suddenly couldn't stand it anymore. He had to tell her something to make her feel better.

"Because I know who I'm looking at." He answered, looking into her eyes, trying his best to will her to believe him.

Kagome wanted to believe him, but her world was spinning. Every logical part of her mind told her it was wrong, but she didn't care. If her heart had not wanted it for so long, she would have walked away and never looked back. But, she had wanted it. She had dreamed about him saying those words to her, and it just sounded too good to ignore. She allowed her lips to twist into a small smile and leaned up to whisper a soft "good" into his ear. She turned away and walked across the room.

She knelt down on the opposite side of the hut and looked back at Inu Yasha. He was sitting in the spot she had been, and looked into the fire. She tried to calm her shaking hands and forced herself to think of something other than the recent events.

"They're dirty again." Kagome said to herself as she picked up her damp pajamas.

Inu Yasha turned to look at her. She amazed him. All that, and she was going to go fuss over her clothes. He couldn't help but smile at her. Something twisted deep inside him, though. Something still felt out of place.

"Kagome…" he said in a quiet voice.

"Hm?" she asked absentmindedly as she tried her best to dry the damp cloth.

"Sorry, it's nothing." He said, turning back away from her.

"huh?" She said as she held her pajamas in front of her face and tried to brush off the mud. She was concerned by his tone of voice but she was unwilling to start another fight after what she had just learned.

"Just make me one promise." She added, turning toward him.

"Sure…" he said, wondering if he was signing his life away.

"You have to trust me." She said resolutely.

"Okay." He said, not meeting her eyes.

"I mean it." She added. "You have no reason not to."

Inu Yasha didn't answer; he only stared at the fire. Kagome frowned at him. She turned away and began to prepare herself to go to bed. As she laid out the blankets provided for them, some men suddenly rushed into the doorway. The men stood at the entrance of the hut and gave menacing stares at the occupants, while they held tools poised as weapons. They gave the now human Inu Yasha an odd look before turning to glare at Kagome.

"We do not know what sorcery you two are conjuring up in here, but understand it will not be tolerated! We will have you off our land and as far from here as possible!" the leading man yelled. His wispy hair partly hid his frantic eyes and helped to conceal his fright.

Kagome stared in surprise and held up a hand to keep Inu Yasha quiet. "What's going on? We're not doing anything." She said, trying not to let her voice crack to badly.

"The woman of this house you are staying in has fallen ill. This is not coincidence! If you do not call back your curse this instance, we will force it out of you!"

Kagome shot a worried look to Inu Yasha who was already rushing between Kagome and the angry village men.

"She didn't do anything." Inu Yasha ground out, angrily. "Don't lay a finger on her!"

Kagome looked up at Inu Yasha and glanced to the men cornering them in the tiny living space. Kagome desperately tried to think of something to say that would convince them she was on their side. She stood and walked beside Inu Yasha, but he moved his arm in front of her and pushed her back behind him. She peered from behind his back and tried her best to reason with the panicked village people.

"Please, you have to believe us. Let me look at the woman, and I'll see if I can help her." Kagome suggested.

"You expect us to just leave you alone with her? Keep your black magic away from her!" a smaller burly man yelled from behind the first.

Kagome fisted her hands in annoyance. The men were even giving them a chance. "Listen! I am a Miko, let me try and heal her. You can stay in the room with me." She knew she wasn't a true Miko, but she didn't see the harm in leaving that part out. She knew enough from Kaede about healing that she figured out she could convince them.

The men looked at each other briefly, before waving Kagome forward. Inu Yasha glared at her and kept her behind him.

"I go with her." He said in a threatening tone.

The men looked apprehensive.

"Are you the demon from before?"

"That doesn't matter!" Kagome yelled before Inu Yasha could answer. "Will you let me help her or not? We'll leave as soon as you want."

"Fine." The leading man said, receiving dirty looks from most of his companions. "Follow me."

Inu Yasha followed and the other two men followed behind them. Kagome got a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach as they marched toward the other hut. She somehow knew that this woman's illness could have some connection to the other village. She tried to remember any odd epidemics that she may have heard of in History class but none came to mind. She sighed and listened to the sounds of leaves cracking underneath her sandals on the ground. The dirt caught between her toes and she scrunched up her face in disgust.

Inu Yasha shot her an odd look. He scanned the area to see if they would have an easy get away if things got ugly. Kagome seemed unaffected by the strange series of events that had transpired. Did she not think it was odd that yet another person just fell ill for no real reason?

When they reached the hut, the mat was lifted and the taller man motioned her inside. He shot his arm in front of Inu Yasha before he could enter, and Inu Yasha returned it with a death glare. He did not trust the people well enough to think that Kagome would be safe. His retort was never made as Kagome's sudden scream filled the air. Inu Yasha shoved past the man in an instance and saw Kagome standing right inside the hut with her hand over her mouth, eyes wide. He looked to the woman lying on the futon below them. She looked as though she were just asleep. He turned to raise an eyebrow at Kagome, but she suddenly collapsed.

Inu Yasha's insides clenched as Kagome fell, and he quickly pulled her back up. She squinted her eyes, and she appeared to be concentrating very hard.

"Inu Yasha… her body…" Kagome breathed out.

"Are you okay?" he asked, panicked.

"I'm fine… it's her body… she's… glowing." Kagome said pointing to the woman.

Inu Yasha glared down at the woman. "What do you mean? She looks normal." Inu Yasha said, growing concerned.

"There's a lot of energy coming off her." Kagome said, tugging at his arm. "We need to leave. It's making my head hurt." She said, while clearly struggling to keep her eyes open.

Inu Yasha pulled her from the hut quickly. The three men were still waiting outside and Inu Yasha marched past them. He didn't humor them with any response because he was too determined to get Kagome as far away from that place as possible. He carried her into the forest where he figured the men would not be willing to follow. He sat her down and waited for her to explain.

She pulled her knees up to her body and tried to calm down. She was not entirely sure of what she saw. When she had walked into the room, she had felt something. It had been intense, though not painful. It was similar to what she felt when she sensed a shard, but more extreme. She looked up at Inu Yasha who was glaring down at her, waiting for a response.

"It was weird…" she started.

"Were you hurt?" Inu Yasha asked, sitting down across from her.

"No. It just… I'd never seen anything like it… it frightened me." She said, trying to think of the right words to describe what she saw.

It had been strange. She remembered looking at the woman, and not seeing her. Where the woman would have been lying, she saw a bright glow. After staring for a few moments, she noticed that the glow was moving and it was moving within the woman. It was moving through her veins and Kagome had screamed when she realized she was looking at the woman's blood moving through her body. It was like her blood had been consumed by something and was coursing through her veins as it gave off intense power. But, Inu Yasha had not seen it.

"Well… I could see inside her. I could see her blood as it flowed through her body. It was glowing." Kagome said, knowing it wasn't a very helpful explanation.

Inu Yasha, however, nodded as though it clarified everything.

"What do you think it means?" Kagome asked, quietly.

"Huh? Who knows." He replied.

Kagome furrowed her brows at his reply. "Well, why did you act like you knew?"

"I didn't." he said, simply.

Kagome eyed him for a moment as he sat there, looking at her. "Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked in a suspicious voice.

"Are you hungry?" he asked suddenly.

"Umm… yeah…" Kagome asked, becoming more suspicious of his behavior.

He smirked and left. Kagome opened her mouth to stop him but he was already gone. She crossed her arms and scooted backward so she could lean up against a tree. She pulled the long sleeves of her hakui over her hands and buried her feet underneath the hakama. She sighed, wondering where Inu Yasha could have gone. She looked up into the sky and tried to judge what time it was. Since staying so often in the feudal era, she had become quite good but the sky was misty and dark that night. She did not think it was too near morning so she worried that Inu Yasha might get himself in trouble before he transformed back into a hanyou.

Her thoughts were cut short when she heard shouts from the distance coming closer. She raised her head and searched the area with her eyes. The dark night forbid her to see much further than a few feet. Her heart suddenly clenched when she barely saw torches off in the distance.

It was the villagers. They must have been coming after her and Inu Yasha. She started to panic and stood up, looking for any sign of Inu Yasha. She thought about calling for him, but concluded that would only bring the villagers in her direction. She bit her lip, wondering what to do.

**

A/N: um… I didn't like this chapter. Didn't come out quite how I had planned. I might change this one up before I update a new chapter, but I'll have to think about it a little.

Please give me your feedback. Thanks for reading!