InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Too See Him ❯ Too See Him ( Chapter 1 )

To See Him

He stands so proud, with his long black ponytail rippling in the wind. With his hands on his hips, he once again tries to impress `her'. It is not that I dislike her; well somewhat, I do, when it comes to him.

 

It is not as if she sees him really, how gorgeous he is. See how his body looks as if sculpted with the finest tools.

 

She just does not see all the love he holds within him. Love just waiting to be unleashed on some fortunate soul.

 

I have a hard time not seeing her as the enemy. She leads him on; it's subtle yet obvious that she does it on purpose.

 

I know she is trying desperately to get a certain someone's attention, I wish she would use somebody else.

 

Even though, I am still asking myself how did all this happen? This passionate desire for him, wanting him more than air, dreaming of him every night without fail.

 

Other questions come to mind as well. Like when did Sango no longer hold my interest? I don't know the answer, no matter how many times I ponder it.

 

Why am I falling in love with another man? Very big question. I have always loved, practically worshipped women. Now all of those things are directed towards one man.

 

But why do I not feel this way towards Inuyasha? I mean for Buddha's sake, I have bathed with the white haired hanyou! I see him damn near everyday!

 

Yet even though I think he is quite fetching, he is my friend. I have even tried to see him the way I see Kouga, to no avail.

 

When I see other attractive youkai and men, I try to imagine myself intimate with them; it only makes my stomach turn. Guilt actually gnaws at me, because I feel I am being untrue to my wolf prince.

 

I see him, with his beautiful pale blue eyes, maybe if I am lucky, three times a month. It feels like it is my birthday, every time he comes our way. No other woman or man has ever made me happy just by looking at them.

 

I am truly ruined.

 

However, I am still confused, why him and no other man? Are we meant to be with each other? I really hope so, because even women are starting to lose their appeal. It's like my energy, emotions and carnal desires are being bound towards him.

 

Sadly though, to him I don't really exist. No one knows how hard I wish, that he would pay me even the slightest bit of attention. To really see me, see that my heart can be his.

 

Who am I kidding really, it already is his. No one draws me in as tightly as he does. It's just why can't he fall for me, as I have fallen for him?

 

One time, I was given hope that just maybe, he does at least a little, feel that pull as I do.

 

I had bumped into him about 6 months ago, it was such a beautiful feeling. It felt like my nerves exploded in vivid color.

 

To feel his body, what I have craved for so long against mine, even for a moment, seemed as if he gave me the stars.

 

I guess my dazed expression, gave him the impression that I was fatigued. Next thing I knew, he had picked me up, sat me down near a tree and told me to rest. Then he actually berated Inuyasha about working my Kazanna too much!

 

I felt so cared for and loved, that I pretend he does it all the time. I swear though afterwards he was gazing at me, with what emotion, I don't know, but I can imagine, right?

 

Will I ever tell him my feelings? Surely you jest, I still want to live, to at least be able see him, even if I can never have him.