InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Torn Apart ❯ Chapter 16

 

Chapter 16:

 

Groaning, Sango attempted to turn onto her back only to find that something was digging into her side, preventing the movement. Opening her salt encrusted eyes, she stared unseeing into the dark room. Unable to penetrate the inky blackness surrounding her, she uncurled one aching arm and felt behind her back, coming into contact with velvet softness. Slowly, her memory returned as she inspected the strange furniture encompassing her on three sides, one was digging into her side; her back pressed into another; and her knee straining against a third. She was sitting in an armchair.

 

With one mystery solved, she turned her mind back to the reason she woke up in the first place, her aching muscles. Pulling in her knee as best she could, she moved it slightly to the left and stretched it out. Muscles popping, she flexed her feet, pulling the muscles in an agonizing stretch before letting it fall over the armrest. Shifting slightly so her back was more firmly ensconced in the corner, she repeated the same action with her second leg. Happy that some the strain had been released, she concentrated on prying off her left hand, one finger at a time, from the death grip it had held on the pillow throughout the night. The right, she had not had a problem with since it had only hugged the pillow to her. Rotating her wrists a few times accompanied by more pops and cracks as the nitrogen build-up in her joints found release, she pushed the bolster to the floor and stretched her arms above her head causing her back to arch in a much needed release as well.

 

Rotating her neck, she uncurled herself from the chair and stood to her feet. Trying to remember how she got herself into the room, she took a step forward and promptly enveloped herself in a cloud of thick dust. Apparently, she found the armchair covering from the night before. Covering her mouth with a grimy hand, she stumbled forward a few more steps in the direction she thought the wall was in. Feeling her toe collide with the wall, she used her free hand to run lightly against it as she traveled around the room, careful to avoid any more pieces of dust enshrouded furniture.

 

Finding the door at last, she walked into the hallway, grateful for the meager light that filtered into it. Looking back and forth between the two ends, she decided to head for the nearest window to get her bearings. Striding swiftly down the corridor on her right, she peered out the window to thankfully see the meandering driveway to his estate working its way to the front door. Walking down the corridor to the left, she made her way to an elegant looking staircase. Taking a deep breath, she faced the front door before turning around and closing her eyes.

 

Snapping them open, she quickly made her way to her bedroom using the mental map she had created when they arrived. Entering the luxuriously decorated dark green and cream colored room, she headed towards her bathroom, shucked her clothing and stepped beneath the cooling spray.

 

Feeling the dust, grime, and tears wash from her skin, Sango wondered what she would do now. Facing Kagome would be the hardest, that much she knew, but how to go about the meeting was unknown. Should she head to her room, wake the girl up and apologize? Maybe she should wait until breakfast or afterwards to catch her. But that would mean she would be honor bound to stick around through awkward silences. What if Kagome didn't want to face her though? That would be the worst, to go down to breakfast and see her walk away. Shaking her head, she lathered her hair and let the warm suds wash away.

 

Watching the trailing path of bubbles slide down the drain, she felt lethargy cover her limbs. She didn't want to face anyone today if she could help it. Shaking her head to rejuvenate her body, she stepped out of the shower, and wrapped a white fuzzy towel around her torso and another around her hair. Stepping into her room, she opened up the walnut wardrobe and peered inside. Nestled inside was her Katana. Trailing delicate fingertips across the worn leather, she felt her mind focus at last from the winding trail it had been wending since the day before. She would find her peace in the commonplace, the everyday, her routine.

 

Gripping the hilt, she pulled the blade and sheath from off the hook it had been hanging on and cradled it to her chest before tossing it to land gracefully on her bed. Reaching back into the wardrobe, she pulled out simple clothing: a black, short-sleeved top and loose flowing khaki cargo pants. Turning to another drawer, she pulled out the necessary undergarments. Swiftly clothing herself, she grabbed her katana from the bed and purposely strode to the doorway. She would find a quiet place outside to run through her exercises, and when she was done, she would seek out Kagome.

 

—Garden—

 

Letting the energy flow into the stolen arrow was harder then it looked. Struggling to control the tiny trickle that connected herself to the wooden shaft grasped in her hand, she felt the sweat collect on her already drenched brow. She had been at the task for a little under an hour since sleep had been denied her. Deciding she might as well take up her lax duties, she had headed in light cotton pajamas and navy blue tank-top to the dojo she remembered from her first stay at the castle. Not disappointed, she had found it well stocked with weaponry and armor. Grabbing one of the many bows and a quiver of arrows, she had retreated to the quiet sanctuary of the gardens, finding peace next to a koi pond.

 

She had spent several minutes stringing the rarely used bow before nocking an arrow. It was then she searched within herself for the lei lines of her miko energy. Trying to redirect the flow of that energy from its normal path took a skill that she rarely attempted to use anymore; the last being when she used it against Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru. To use it when `danger' was near was instinctual and required little concentration, but to use it outside of that was a trial in and of itself. She had never understood that about herself. Everything, whether school, demon slaying, friendships, and life in general always seemed to follow that pattern. If she honestly tried at something, it took twice as much effort then if she just let it happen.

 

Frowning to herself, she redirected her thoughts to controlling the amount of power she was feeding to the arrow. It came in starts and spurts, almost as though it matched the beating of her heart as it pumped the blood through her body. One minute, she would have a strong steady flow and the next it was thin as a taught string. Frustrated, she tried to reverse the exercise by drawing the energy back into herself, smoothing the lines back into place around her body, following the arteries and veins of her limbs. Kaede had always made her repeat the exercise both forwards and backwards whenever she had a spare moment to teach, and she to learn. The theory behind the exercise was that it required a strong mind to not only release it, but to draw it in as well.

 

Sighing, she opened up her eyes and yawned, ready at last to find some rest for her weary limbs. It would be good to sleep in until noon with no worries or cares to bother her. At least, that is, until she ran into Sesshoumaru. `Scratch that,' she thought as she flexed her tired arm. `That's if I run into Sesshoumaru. He's been avoiding me ever since that scene in the study.'

 

Sticking a mental tongue at the vision of Sesshoumaru's ever retreating back, she turned back to the matter at hand, controlling her miko energy. If Sesshoumaru wanted her to wear the dagger again then something was obviously afoot. She knew she would be better off prepared then always relying on a dagger's inu spirit she didn't know how to control, not that she knew how to control her miko energy anyways. This time, rather then focusing her thoughts on the arrow she had already put away, she turned her thoughts to sensing others. Slowly, she allowed her aura to flow out in soft gentle waves. She had always been better at this skill then any other. She had to be in order to sense the jewel shards.

 

Sensing a despondent soul nearby, she snapped open her eyes in time to see Sango freeze like a deer in the headlights. Warily, the two stared at each other, waiting for someone else to make the first move and set the tone for the ensuing conversation or lack-thereof.

 

Hesitantly, Kagome motioned to the peaceful little clearing she had been sitting in. “I was almost done here if you would like to practice.”

 

Sango took a tentative step, more like half-shuffle, closer to Kagome as she fought to force words past a parched mouth. “That's alright. I can go somewhere else. I'd hate to interrupt you.”

 

Kagome shook her head as she got to her feet and grabbed the bow and arrow where she had laid them to rest on the ground. “Don't worry about it. You weren't interrupting anything. I can't control my miko abilities anyways.”

 

“Don't say that. You just haven't practiced enough and often enough. It wasn't your fault that Inuyasha barely gave you a chance to go home let alone had a moment to ask Kaede for training!”

 

Kagome looked up at Sango and smiled in relief. “Thanks Sango. You always did know what I needed to hear.”

 

Sango returned the smile, momentarily forgetting the troubles of the past day, but the smile soon faded as she looked to the ground and back up to the thin edge of the sun peaking over the horizon. “I should get going.”

 

“No!” shouted Kagome, half pleading, half demanding. “Please, don't go. I—I wanted to apologize for yesterday. I didn't mean to alienate you, or make you feel like you couldn't talk to me. I didn't know I was doing that.”

 

Sango stared at Kagome. It was amazing how, after everything that had happened, Kagome still thought that she was to blame for the mishap and not Sango, herself. “Don't say that Kagome. It was my fault for keeping it all in. I have always felt like I had to be the strong one, even with Kohaku.”

 

Kagome tore her gaze from the fascinating plot of grass underneath her sandal-clad foot. “You don't have to be that way with me. We're sisters; we're supposed to yell and scream and fight with each other. We're also supposed to be there for the other to lean in no matter what happens. It's what family is for.”

 

Kagome looked at Sango's confused expression and sighed in annoyance. “Why do you think I've been leaning on you so much concerning Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru? I don't know what to do with them! With you here, I at least know that there's someone who understands the situation and won't gush simply because they're cute.”

 

Sango grinned hesitantly. “But they are cute in a weird, homicidal maniac kind of way.”

 

Kagome laughed softly. “Yeah, but they've changed quite a bit. Have you noticed?”

 

Sango came forward a few more steps to stand in the center of the little clearing and a few feet away from Kagome. “I have noticed that Inuyasha's a lot softer around the edges. He seems more relaxed then he ever was two—I mean five hundred years ago.”

 

Kagome nodded in agreement before she sat down and patted the ground next to her. Sango slowly took the proffered seat so they were both looking at the pond, watching the tiny fish flash in the early morning light of the rising sun. “I think you're right about Inuyasha. He's done a lot of growing up since we've last seen him. Of course, his temper is still there as well as his foul mouth.” Kagome shivered remembering the chewing out she got about her lack of weapons skill.

 

Sango looked askance at her friend. “Is that why you were out here practicing?”

 

Kagome blushed. “Um, no, not really. I just couldn't sleep after what you and Sesshoumaru had to say.”

 

Sango blushed as she remembered how she had almost thrown the young miko at Sesshoumaru. “Sorry about that,” she mumbled.

 

“Sorry about what?”

 

“For, well, practically telling you to mate with the guy and get it over with.”

 

Kagome laughed. “No need to apologize. I think I understand why you felt you had to do that. Inuyasha's the only one who's given you any time in the last few weeks isn't he? I know I haven't been there and when I have, I've been wailing over the fact that I have to deal with two men coming after me.”

 

Sango grinned. “When you put it that way, you were a little childish.” Holding up a hand to ward off Kagome's mock indignation, she continued. “But, I shouldn't have been complaining. This has to be as hard for you as it is for me. Sure, I had to leave the life I always knew behind, but I should have left it behind by now and accepted that there was no going back. That I haven't shows just how little I've accepted your time."

 

“Don't say that! I at least knew what to expect, both when I first entered Sengoku Jidai and when I came back here! You didn't! You didn't even have the luxury of returning back home when things got tough to handle here.”

 

Sango frowned. “It shouldn't have mattered. I'm trained to adapt, and I should have been able to over the past two years.”

 

Kagome jumped to her feet to tower over the frustrating taijiya. “Stop it Sango! Just stop it! You can't always be strong. It's not how life works! That's why you have friends, so they can be your strength when yours run out. They're there so they can compliment your weaknesses just as you compliment mine or Inuyasha's or even Miroku's! You can't always depend on yourself. If you had to, no one would be able to survive a single day without suffering a mental breakdown.”

 

Sango grabbed Kagome's wildly gesticulating hands and pulled her back down to the ground. “Alright, I get it! You don't have to pound it into me with a fictitious Hiraikotsu.”

 

Kagome blinked before bursting out in laughter that soon filled the clearing, startling the fish into seeking hiding places. Wiping her eyes of the laughter induced tears, she smiled at the still chuckling Sango.

 

“So how are things going Sango? I'm here now if you need to talk even though I haven't been for the last two years really.”

 

Sango sighed. “I don't know what to think anymore. Everything I'm feeling is just…irrational. It doesn't make any sense.”

 

Kagome nodded in encouragement. “Do you mean with Miroku? Or are you talking about Inuyasha?”

 

Sango blushed. “I—I don't know what you're talking about.”

 

“It's alright Sango. I won't be offended by anything you have to say.”

 

Sango averted her gaze from Kagome's gently understanding one. “I always thought that me and Miroku still had a chance with each other. I thought that someday the well would reopen and we could return to the way life was supposed to be, but…” Sango took a deep breath before plunging on. “This is how life was supposed to be. Miroku was supposed to fall in love with Seijitsu so that his kids could find love and their kids could find love and so on down the line so you could save the world from Naraku. There was nothing I could do to stop it. Fate had a role to play, and it chose to remove me from the equation.”

 

Kagome stared down at her hands. “I'm sorry Sango. If it wasn't for me, none of this would have happened. I broke the Shikon no Tama; I made it possible for Kikyo to be resurrected; and I let Naraku get away so many times because you had to protect me rather then killing him. If it wasn't for me, you might have had Miroku.”

 

Sango stared at the now sobbing female in front of her. “Stop it, Kagome. It's not your fault. It's not mine either. All I know is that I wouldn't have even loved Miroku a little bit if it wasn't for you bringing us together. Don't dwell on a thousand might-have-beens. It's what got me in the emotional mess I'm in now!”

 

Kagome sniffled and looked up at the bewildered taijiya. “God, aren't we a pair?”

 

Sango stopped wringing her hands before laughing again. After a few minutes, she quieted down and smiled. “Yeah, I guess we are. It's amazing any man would want us isn't it?”

 

Kagome nodded in agreement. “Although I don't think there's anyone out there who really does want me.”

 

Sango looked at her questioningly. “What do you mean? Does this have something to do with what Sesshoumaru had to say yesterday? If so, I'll beat him with my Hiraikotsu!”

 

Kagome laughed and hugged her sister. “Calm down Sango. I've got some ideas of how to get Sesshoumaru to talk, don't worry!”

 

“So what did he say?”

 

“Just that he thought I loved Inuyasha and should put him out of his misery and tell him I choose him. I don't know what to think though! After our last talk, I'm almost afraid to think that Inuyasha doesn't really love me, but is just sticking by some silly promise he made five hundred years ago. He did it with Kikyo and now he's doing it to me.”

 

“What makes you think that?”

 

Kagome hit the ground in frustration. “He kept going after Kikyo because he wanted to show her what true friendship and love was. He wanted to save her from her hate so that, rather then going to hell, she could move on to a better place. That's why he kept breaking my heart time and time again. If she thought that we were more then the friends we appeared to be, then there would have been no hope for redemption. Now that she's gone, he thinks he has to make it up to me. He claims I'm his best friend, and I'm happy I still am, but I don't want that to be the only reason he wants to marry me. There has to be more to a marriage then friendship if it's going to last. Especially the way we get into arguments.”

 

Sango nodded slowly. “Okay, I can understand all that, but that doesn't explain why you think that Sesshoumaru doesn't want you.”

 

Kagome sighed in frustration. “There's just so many things I don't get about Sesshoumaru. One minute he kidnaps me and beats me up for Tetsusaiga, and the next he won't let me out of his sight and gets all protective because his hair makes me sneeze. Now he's doing it all again by being all sweet and chauvinistic outside my school and during that dinner party two weeks ago and then I don't see him at all until yesterday. Then yesterday he has the gall to tell me to stop fooling around and chose the man he's been fighting with over me. I haven't been able to get a word out of him since except for a `You better wear the dagger I gave you.'”

 

“What dagger?”

 

Kagome sighed and stretched out her leg and pulled up her pink and white stripped pajama pants to show a golden sheathed dagger attached to her ankle with a dog etched into the sheath surrounded by garnets while pale blue stones traveled down the length. “It's the dagger I was wearing that helped me defeat Naraku.”

 

“Oh,” said Sango as she gazed dumfounded at the ornate dagger. “I didn't know that.” Shaking her head, she stared in perplexity at the weapon. “Are you sure you should be wearing that? With the way things are going now, you're liable to get pissed off at Inuyasha or Sesshoumaru or even Kouga when you see him again. I'd hate for some dog spirit to come flying out of that dagger and attack them.”

 

Kagome laughed as she covered up the blade. “I know. That's what I told Sesshoumaru the last time he walked away from me rather then talk to me. That's why I was out here practicing. If I can control my miko talents, what's to say I won't be able to control my emotions better? Besides, I think I have to believe that someone's in danger for the spell to activate.”

 

“I hope you're right,” said Sango before returning to the pertinent subject. “So Sesshoumaru keeps walking away from you? Won't say anything at all?”

 

Kagome shook her head no. “He wouldn't even do small talk at dinner yesterday. It about made me to nauseous to eat anything at all.”

 

Sango pursed her lips in thought. “Well, you want to train your miko abilities right?”

 

Kagome nodded in the affirmative.

 

Sango grinned. “What better way to do that then to practice on Sesshoumaru?” Huddling closer to her, she started to whisper a plan of action into her ear. “Here's what you need to do…”

 

—A Lurker Watches—

 

Sesshoumaru watched the reconciliation of the taijiya and miko from his study window as he played with the smooth cherry wood lid of the box he had left the day prior on the window sill. It was good that they had laid aside their arguments since they would have found their stay in the castle boring to say the least without the other to provide company. He had to many things to handle for him to be worried about how they kept themselves occupied.

 

Glancing at his wristwatch, he noted that he needed to leave soon to make it back to his office. He had postponed as many appointments as he could for the week in order to concentrate on seeing to security and party details, but even court dates could not be rearranged on a moments notice. He had a hearing on a case early that afternoon after which he was supposed to meet with Inuyasha to test for holes in their security net. They also had to decide where to place the recruits from the dojo.

 

Turning back his attention to the scene below him, he watched as Kagome and Sango hugged each other. A small smile flitted over his features at how easily humans set aside their petty concerns. It had caused an unaccustomed pain in his chest when he saw how hurt Kagome was when he refused to discuss with her his reasons for believing she was better off with Inuyasha. If only he could promise her protection from those who were his enemies. It was bad enough that Inuyasha had decided in the first place to renew contact with her claiming that after two hundred years and no sign of the Kokushibyou gang leader that it was pointless to keep them from the one thing they had been waiting five hundred years to find again.

 

Mentally sighing, he looked down at the well worn box he had been carrying around with him for five hundred years. It was time to let her go. Opening up the window a little, he opened up the box and tilted its contents to drift on the wind as the dried petals floated to the ground. Pulling the box back into the room, he gently brushed Kagome's name written in kanji on the bottom of the stained box before closing the lid and setting it on a hidden corner of one of the many bookshelves. It was better this way. Kagome would live in the states with Inuyasha while he kept hidden his feelings for a mortal woman he met a long time ago. Now he just had to convince Inuyasha to run away with her.

 

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