InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Torn ❯ Between Love and Hate ( Chapter 4 )

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Chapter Four

 

Between Love and Hate

 

 

(Special thanks to DemonGoddess and Hellfyrre for helping me to fix this up for mm.org. And to Koga's Hentai Luver for the original betaing. For those of you who don't know, this is an old fic. I took all of them down and began editing awhile back. I hope to do better on speed, but I've been very ill. Thanks for your patience)

 

 

 

Someone once said that there is a thin line between love and hate…

 

”Aw, come on, Sess. I love you. Don't you love me too?” Wide golden eyes stared up at the pure-bred inu-youkai.

 

“Do. Not. Call me `Sess',” Sesshoumaru scowled at the little boy.

 

“But…”

 

“No!”

 

“You don't love me? I know you do. I see you watch me play,” whimpered the little creature gifted with white tufted puppy ears on top of his head and with absurdly wide, expressive golden eyes.

 

Sesshoumaru sighed at his persistent younger sibling. “What is it you want, half-breed?”

 

“Say you love me too?” mumbled the half-breed child as his golden orbs peered up through a lacy curtain of black eyelashes.

 

“You are a fool. Flee or die,” growled Sesshoumaru in his most menacing voice while burning the child with narrowed amber eyes.

 

Half-breed born child, Inuyasha, hid his smirk as he darted around the tall regal figure of Sesshoumaru. Strands of white hair flew through the air as the wind from deadly claws swiped at his back and ruffled his tiny triangular ears. Behind the pitter-patter of little feet giggles bubbled down the corridor. Claws once again swiped the air above his ears.

 

“Aaaaah! Sesshoumaru! What do you think you're doing!?” screamed one of the maid servants. “Your father will hear about this!”

 

Both Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru skidded to a halt, Inuyasha nearly falling over and Sesshoumaru gliding to a graceful erect figure that was the perfect picture of complacency. They watched in tense silence as the servant approached. Inuyasha's eyes grew wide at the dismay on the old hardened face.

 

“We were just playing! Sess would never hurt me. Right, Sess?” Inuyasha's gaze flicked between the two. The last thing he wanted to do was get his brother into trouble.

 

Steely, gray eyes met the cool amber gaze of a silent and aloof Sesshoumaru. The servant scooped up Inuyasha in one swift motion and whipped around. Back stiff as board, she strode off in the opposite direction.

 

“Bye, Sess! I'll come back later and we can play some more!” grinned Inuyasha over the shoulder of his current savior and nemesis.

 

Sesshoumaru lifted his nose and snorted. Turning away and clasping his hands behind his back, he made his dismissal clear.

 

“I love you, Sessy!” called Inuyasha.

 

`Brat,' thought Sesshoumaru as a ghost of a smile haunted his face…

 

 

“I came back just like I said I would, Sess,” Inuyasha informed Sesshoumaru while his sunshine eyes beamed up at the eldest.

 

“Hm.”

 

“Do you love me, Sess?” asked Inuyasha, barely keeping the grin from his face.

 

“Do you wish to die today?”

 

“You love me. Just say it,” demanded the child.

 

“Die!” Sesshoumaru responded, unable to keep the smirk from his lips.

 

In a blur of red and white, the chase was on…

 

~*~

 

The morning's mist had long since evaporated from the silky petals of `Rin's' favorite flowers. Sesshoumaru allowed the back of his hand to sweep against the soft petals of a yellow rose. While gazing at the color that mirrored the gold of Inuyasha's eyes, a scowl marred his pristine features.

 

`He must be planning his departure by now. Times have changed. We are no longer children, yet not quite enemies,' thought Sesshoumaru as he debated whether or not to invite his brother to continue residing in his home. It was a confusing matter. While desirous of his brother's presence, it presented him with problems that he would prefer to avoid.

 

Sesshoumaru knew that once he watched the red clad figure walk out of the gate, there would be little chance for reconciliation. What did he really want? He meandered through the pleasing aroma of his garden. When the afternoon sun became unpleasantly warm, he made his way back to his chambers and was glad for the solitude it offered.

 

He needed to make a decision before the door of opportunity slammed shut in his face. Indecion was unfamiliar and disconcerting.

 

`If only I had more time. Time has never been on our side, little brother.''

 

~*~

 

“Do you think it'll work, Rin?” Shippou whined.

 

“Of course! And since we had Jakken take it to their rooms, they'll never think we did it,” whispered Rin.

 

“I don't know. Sesshoumaru is so smart and Inuyasha gets mad about everything.”

 

“It'll be alright, Shippou. What could go wrong?” asked Rin, trying to reassure her friend.

 

What could go wrong? A good question indeed.

 

Both little instigators fidgeted as they played games to pass the time until they could watch their magnificent plan succeed.

 

~*~

 

`What is this?' Sesshoumaru thought as he lifted from his divan a rolled piece of parchment tied with a red satin bow. He opened the scroll and read the simple lines.

 

`Sesshoumaru,

 

Please meet me at the picnic area by the brook after dinner. I don't want to leave.

 

Love,

 

Inuyasha'

 

“Love? How odd,” Sesshoumaru thought aloud.

 

Considering Inuyasha's brash attitude and misunderstanding of Sesshoumaru's actions, Sesshoumaru was suspicious of the note's origins. However, with no writings from Inuyasha to use as a comparison, he was left with no alternative but to honor the request.

 

~*~

 

“Huh?” Inuyasha opened the scroll he found lying on his bed.

 

`Inuyasha,

 

Meet me in at the picnic area by the brook after dinner. I don't want you to leave.

 

Love,

 

Sesshoumaru'

 

“Yeah right. Guess I didn't make it out in time not to have to battle with the stupid jerk. But, this is so low, just as low as presenting the noh-mother as my own mother. Bastard,” grumbled Inuyasha.

 

`And this hurts even more.'

 

~*~

 

Between stealing glances at Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow while he observed Rin and Shippou practically breathing down their food.

 

“Inuyasha, I believe that your detestable eating habits have adversely affected `our children',” Sesshoumaru commented, attempting to get a rise out of his unusually silent brother. Perhaps it was Inuyasha who had written the note.

 

As though he had not heard Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha continued to uncharacteristically play with his food. His stomach was tied in knots and his anger with Sesshoumaru buzzed through his entire body. Even his hair follicles seemed to be causing temporary deafness. He didn't want to look at Sesshoumaru, afraid that he would be too tempted to kill his brother right where he bastard sat. However, innocent eyes were not meant to see such things.

 

`Just wait `til I get your mangy ass outside,' he repeated over and over to himself. Scowling at his helpless food while he mutilated it, he took a small amount of comfort in the fact that things were back to normal. This time, he would finally put Sesshoumaru out of his own misery.

 

`You will die today, bastard, if it's that last thing I ever do.'

 

Kouga poked Inuyasha in his side. “What's up, mutt?”

 

Inuyasha shook his head and, under the table, cracked the knuckles of his left hand. Kouga took that as a sign to leave it alone. Nevertheless, it didn't mean that he couldn't ponder the source of Inuyasha's unrest.

 

Shippou and Rin were the first to leave the table, quickly scurrying outside. Little did the room's occupants suspect that the children would soon be masking their scent by bathing their entire bodies with mud from the bottom of the brook then hiding under the brush to await the victims of their well-intended machinations.

 

“Hey guys, I've had a long day. Think I'm gonna take a nap. See ya,” Kouga said, yawning for effect.

 

“I'm outta here too,” said Inuyasha, quickly rising to his feet, nearly knocking over his chair in the process. Avoiding eye contact with Sesshoumaru, he beat a hasty retreat. “Later, Kouga.”

 

Sesshoumaru crossed his arms and furrowed his brow. Everyone had been acting so strange, except Kouga. It made him somewhat uncomfortable. This was his home and he would not tolerate the behavior of his guests affecting him in such manner. It was not in his character to take others into consideration. It was time to put a stop to unwelcome thoughts.

 

`I believe I will take my swords with me.'

 

~*~

 

Some distance away from the picnic area, two oddly shaped little piles of mud lay drying beneath the overgrowth. One had the prettiest pair of emerald eyes while the other sported fathomless dark, brown orbs. The first victim to enter their line of sight was Inuyasha. As was customary, he was muttering curses under his breath.

 

“I told you he would be mad,” whispered Shippou.

 

“He won't stay mad. You'll see,” said Rin with absolute confidence.

 

When they heard Inuyasha growl, both children became as silent as possible.

 

“Just what are you playing at, Sesshoumaru?” rumbled Inuyasha low in his chest and drawing his sword, Tetsusaiga.

 

“I might ask you the same, little brother,” said Sesshoumaru with his usual bored expression as he drew, not his sword, but a parchment from his haori, allowing the scroll to roll open.

 

“What are you talkin' about?” Inuyasha huffed indignantly.

 

“For your inspection,” scowled Sesshoumaru, walking forward and flinging the parchment at Inuyasha.

 

Inuyasha caught the scroll with his left hand and read it while keeping Sesshoumaru in his sights.

 

“Hey! I got one just like this! I had nothing to do with it. Are you saying this wasn't from you?” Inuyasha asked, pulling out his own version and holding it out to Sesshoumaru.

 

Sesshoumaru quickly skimmed the note.

 

“It seems that we have been duped, little brother.”

 

“Yeah, well…” Inuyasha trailed off as he sheathed his sword. “Don't worry about it. I'm leaving tonight and taking Shippou with me. I'm sure he had something to do with this.”

 

Sesshoumaru stood silent, not quite sure how to respond. This was the perfect opportunity, but he had no words. His mind seemed to have decided to take a vacation. As Inuyasha brushed by him, he impulsively reached out and grabbed Inuyasha's arm.

 

Inuyasha looked up wide-eyed. Why did it seem that everyone seemed to want to touch him lately?

 

“What?”

 

Sesshoumaru dug around in his brain.

 

“Just say it,” Sesshoumaru said, repeating Inuyasha's childhood words.

 

“Huh?” asked Inuyasha, thoroughly confused.

 

“Don't you remember, little brother?”

 

“Uh, what are you talking about, Sess?”

 

“You call me `Sess' now, just as you did when we were children.”

 

“That was a friggin' hundred years ago!”

 

“You remember, do you not?” coaxed Sesshoumaru.

 

“Not everything,” Inuyasha admitted.

 

Sesshoumaru sighed. Inuyasha was not going to make this easy for him.

 

“You are welcome to stay here as long as you wish,” he said, but quickly added, “Simply refrain from being a constant irritant.” For the sake of his dignity, he had to retain some superiority.

 

“Aw, Sess loves me!” Inuyasha exclaimed in mock surprise.

 

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes. “Do you wish to die today?”

 

“Just say it!” Inuyasha's memory clicked. “Sess,” he whispered, staring at his brother in wonderment.

 

“Brat,” Sesshoumaru smirked.

 

Inuyasha made the bold move of stepping directly in front of his brother and reaching up a hand to trace his fingers along Sesshoumaru's cheekbones.

 

“I can hear it…even if you don't say it,” Inuyasha murmured. “I thought…you hated me.”

 

“Father's sword…” Sesshoumaru's lips thinned, “I was angry.”

 

“You mean this rusty old thing?” Inuyasha teased, slapping the hilt of Tetsusaiga.

 

Sesshoumaru's claws dug into the palm of his hand. “It should have been mine,” he growled under his breath.

 

“I could share it with you. Oh, I forgot, it doesn't like you very much,” Inuyasha cajoled.

 

“Do not test me, Inuyasha.”

 

“Okay. I shouldn't have said it, but you really are very pretty when you're angry,” Inuyasha smirked.

 

Amber eyes narrowed at the hanyou. Golden eyes stared sheepishly up through a curtain of black eyelashes.

 

“Just say it, Sess,” whispered Inuyasha trying to control the muscles tempting to spread a grin across his face.

 

Sesshoumaru cocked an eyebrow. “Do you wish to die today?”

 

Both jumped away and drew their swords.

 

“Oh no! They're going to fight!” Shippou would have screamed had Rin not slapped her hand over his mouth.

 

“Shhhh!”

 

“Mmrrlllmmlllrr!”

 

“Just watch, Shippou!” whispered Rin as she wrapped her arm around Shippou's neck in a choke hold.

 

Swords clashed, sending lightening and thunder into the surrounding air.

 

“Mmmrrchllll!!”

 

“They're not trying to kill each other. Be quiet.”

 

Tokijin arced downward and was met by the upsweep of Tetsusaiga. Sesshoumaru flicked his wrist, circling his blade beneath Tetsusaiga then yanked upward, sending Inuyasha's sword into flight then rushed in for the kill.

 

“lllmmmeeeengooo!”

 

“Shh!”

 

Inuyasha was still watching his sword sail through the air when he felt the brunt of Sesshoumaru's force and was knocked to the ground. He hit with a thud and a sudden expulsion of air.

 

“As you can see, little brother, you are no match for me. And it has always been thus,” announced Sesshoumaru as he stood over Inuyasha, sheathing his sword.

 

“Ah, you just got lucky,” grunted Inuyasha as he peeled his back from the ground.

 

He looked up to see a pale hand outstretched in offering. Inuyasha eyed the hand suspiciously, contemplating the danger. He gazed at the purple stripes on Sesshoumaru's wrists as the hand advanced toward him.

 

“Take my hand, Inuyasha. I mean you no harm,” Sesshoumaru reassured him.

 

“iumkay?” Shippou mumbled.

 

“Yeah, everything is fine,” said Rin, taking her hand from Shippou's mouth.

 

“You're strong for a human,” Shippou commented.

 

“Watch,” admonished Rin.

 

As soon as Inuyasha's hand was in Sesshoumaru's, an iron grip yanked him to his feet, causing him to stumble into Sesshoumaru's armor plated chest.

 

“Sorry…”

 

His air supply was cut off in the steel embrace of his brother, but he was just as quickly released. The feel of that warm embrace clung to him like a heavy coat, blanketing his thoughts, not that he knew what to think.

 

`Did Sesshoumaru just…hug me?'

 

Inuyasha gathered himself and allowed his gaze to trail up his brother's figure. They were standing close, close enough that Inuyasha could feel and smell Sesshoumaru's breath. Sesshoumaru was watching him, seeming as though he were studying Inuyasha, waiting. Something was behind those amber orbs, some emotion of which Inuyasha could only guess the meaning. It was far from the frigid cold that Inuyasha had come to expect. He felt as though Sesshoumaru were intentionally giving him a peek at what lay beneath the surface of those carefully controlled, refined features. This wasn't supposed to happen. Sesshoumaru was supposed to fight him, send him on his way, anything but this.

 

Inuyasha felt himself becoming overwhelmed. Even as children, Sesshoumaru had never shown him true affection. And though he was almost certain that Sesshoumaru had come to accept him, up to the point that he had claimed Tetsusaiga, Sesshoumaru had always distanced himself.

 

Sesshoumaru was a puzzle that Inuyasha really hadn't put much effort into piecing together. Today revealed a piece of the puzzle that just didn't seem to fit. Sesshoumaru did not allow himself to be affected by much, especially by humans and half-breeds. But he was affected, and he was allowing it to show. This was a rare offering. A thing to be prized, to be grasped and cherished, to never be faded by time. But what did he have to give in return?

 

“Sesshoumaru…thank you,” Inuyasha murmured softly as he rose up on his tiptoes and brushed his cheek against Sesshoumaru's.

 

Sesshoumaru stood silently, still as a statue. He could not, could never, bring himself to be so weak as to speak the words he wanted so much to say. Inuyasha should be thanked for saving his life, for drawing him out when they were children…Then he growled, remembering that it was Inuyasha who had taken his left arm along with the sword that should have been his.

 

The growl resonated against Inuyasha's cheek and he immediately withdrew. Unable to hide the pain of rejection, he quickly turned and strode away only to be halted by a hand on his shoulder.

 

“Stay here, with me, Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru softly murmured from behind.

 

“Give me one good reason why I should, Sesshoumaru,” said Inuyasha without turning to face his brother.

 

Oh, how to express what he wanted without sounding weak. Sesshoumaru steeled himself to do what he must.

 

“Do you really want me to `Just say it'? Is that what you need to hear?”

 

“Yes. I have to know for sure, Sesshoumaru.” Inuyasha turned and stared up at his brother with conviction.

 

“I will do this once, and only for you. You will never speak of it. Agreed?” demanded the most powerful youkai in the land.

 

“Agreed.”

 

Sesshoumaru leaned down until his lips were brushing Inuyasha's right ear, his whisper barely audible.

 

“I love you, too, Inuyasha.”

 

The words twisted his stomach into knots. It didn't matter that he had no belief in such niceties. Sesshoumaru knew it was the right thing to do. Saying them the only way he would be able to keep his brother by his side. And he desperately wanted his brother.

 

Once again, to Sesshoumaru's surprise, Inuyasha lifted his face, resting his lips on Sesshoumaru's cheek.

 

“Show me, Sess. Make me believe you,” Inuyasha whispered.

 

It was a challenge to prove that he wasn't a liar. How impudent. Nevertheless, he knew Inuyasha had every reason to doubt him, so he made the only concession he knew would to be enough. Carefully, so as not to lose the touch of Inuyasha's cheek, he turned his face until their lips met. To his surprise, a tiny whine hummed against his lips, drawing him in, making him want to taste Inuyasha. And he did. Tentatively, and oh so gently, he touched Inuyasha's bottom lip with the tip of his tongue. Hot breath rushed across his sensitive skin as Inuyasha parted his lips. Was it an invitation? Did it matter?

 

Sesshoumaru knew what he wanted and took full advantage, slipping his tongue into Inuyasha's mouth, tenderly exploring the heated, wet warmth. When Inuyasha deepened the kiss instead of drawing away in disgust, he slid his arm around the small of Inuyasha's back and proceeded to lavish attention on those sweet succulent lips, nibbling and suckling. Warmth invaded his chest and began a creeping slide to his groin.

 

This was not what Sesshoumaru had expected or imagined, yet it pleased him beyond words. Had he always had this secret desire? Is this why he fought so hard to keep a wall of hatred between himself and his half-breed brother? He decided that this was not the time to ponder such things. This was a time to revel in something so miraculous that it left him breathless with fulfillment.

 

Stunned, shocked, surprised, afraid, confused, warmed and comforted all blended together to take Inuyasha's breath away.

 

`How long…how long has he wanted me like this? Why didn't I see it? I'm not alone anymore…not alone.' His thoughts melted away as he slid his arms up to encircled Sesshoumaru's neck. Secure, comfort, home.

 

“Ahem.” The deep, mock clearing from the throat of Kouga rudely intruded on their passionate moment.

 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

 

Reviewer Recognition

I Lurv You All

 

 

 

MM.ORG

 

Minnikat6

I'm glad that you like it so much. I was concerned because this fic was written a two or three years ago and I took it down from AFF. I decided to beta and edit before putting them back up. Getting sick put a delay on everything. Thanks for the great review! ^_^

 

Ladyjay62

Gomen for taking so long! I had fun with the rivalry between Sess and Kouga. We'll have more of that. No doubt about it. Heheh. Thanks for review!

 

Heartstar

I'm so sorry! I've been very ill, but I'm better now and hope to get things up faster. Please be patient with me and thanks for reviewing!

 

Gen50

I know what you mean. It is one of those chapters where you feel like, “Get on with it, will ya!” Don't worry. I have much more suspenseful fun coming your way! *hugs* Thanks for reviewing! ^_^

 

 

(previous reviewers)

 

Devious Lil Devil

I'm glad that you found the note and that you came over here. I apologize for being so slow with getting this back up. I have so many stories to fix. I didn't quite know what I was doing when I first started posting here. ^_^ Perhaps I will eventually repost my stories on AFF, but I need time and will watch to see if admin manages to improve. Thanks so much for coming over and reviewing!

 

Dark Avenger

Holy Cow! Torn won another award! *falls over and dies!* Thanks so much for hunting me down and letting me know. ^_^

 

Velvetina

 

 

~*~

 

 

*Disclaimer*

 

Inuyasha and all associated characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I make no profit from this story, nor do I intend to. My only goal is to occupy my demented mind with delusions of actually owning a life-sized, anatomically correct Sesshoumaru.

 

 

 

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