InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Trapped In Between ❯ Suspended Between Worlds ( Chapter 3 )

First, to start off, I want to apologize to all of you for my tardiness on posting this chapter. It was finished a month ago, but as usual, ff.net was giving me a hard time… ¬.¬ Neways, to make it up to you, I REDID CHAPTER ONE AND TWO!!!!!

…AGAIN!

Even if you guys are all too lazy to go back and read it again (though you might anyway, since I've delayed this posting so long…), you NEED TO REREAD CHAPTER ONE!!!! At least towards the end! Why? Because I added… kind of an important part… that you guys will really like… ^_^ If you don't, you'll be kind of lost when Inuyasha and Kagome reflect upon it later in this chapter.

WAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! Chapter three at last! I'm so happy! I've gotten 30 reviews already! You guys are making me so happy; I feel so loved! ^_^ Tee-hee! Allrighty, I am still kind of mad that people are still saying they're going to come after me for killing Kagome… (*cough, cough* Matti-chan *cough, cough*) Don't be alarmed by this chapter (and it's shortness), but it will all come together. >_< Okay, on with it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha (damn!), but I do own all the characters outside of the Inuyasha story line. I wish I owned Inuyasha, though… I'd put him on a leash and drag him to school, make him punch annoying people rapping in the halls, kick my old track coach that said I was too weak and frail to be on her team because I'm not, threaten teachers that won't give me extensions when I'm sick, be possessive over me, threaten teachers (tee-hee), kill or horribly mutilate the boy who sits behind me in Bio who makes fun of anime (he'd probably do that on his own…), threaten more teachers, kiss him in public (oh, come ON, who doesn't want to be kissed by Inuyasha? *nudges Kagome*), growl at all the slutty girls who send him looks in the hallway, ride on his back, tweak his kawaii dog ears… Wow… I tend to ramble a little… ^_^

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Trapped In Between

Chapter 3: Suspended Between Worlds

By: Kaji-chan

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Black.

He was surrounded by it.

Deep, shaded, absorbent, shadowed, unfathomable. Black.

He could barely see two feet in front of him, golden eyes darting this way and that for a way out of the place he had been suddenly thrown into. Inuyasha swung out his claws with a frustrated growl, swiping this way and that, wherever his fists could reach, but still nothing happened. He was still confined, enclosed, surrounded by it.

Black.

Inuyasha tried to remember how he had gotten there, tried to get his memory to work. Where was he last? How did he arrive in this place?

Then something in the back of his head clicked. He had fallen asleep after a day of long, irritable arguing with his companions, and then he had laid against the trunk of a tree to get away from Miroku and Sango with Kagome lying by his side.

Now he remembered. Kagome… she had… he couldn't bring himself to say it. The only other thing he remembered was blood, and lots of it. Not his blood, not Miroku's blood, and not Sango's blood.

Kagome's blood.

Inuyasha felt the sting at the back of his eyes and his vision blurred once again. He squeezed his eyelids shut, forcing back the weakness that threatened to spill from his eyes with a frustrated grunt. He wouldn't cry. Not again. He had already cried too much, against his liking.

He had to be strong; he had to push it back down. It didn't matter how difficult it was to do so. He had to. Not just for himself.

For Kagome.

He had to conceal the weakness he was showing, close off the opening to his heart. No matter how much it hurt, he couldn't let anyone see what was slowly ripping and tearing him apart from the inside out. What was slowly killing him from within, leaving his heart torn in shreds of pain.

No one.

That's how it had been before; he had cut off all feeling and association with others, never talking with or communicating with anyone. Then… that strange, different, caring miko unknowingly waltzed into his life, always containing his thoughts. Who was this woman, invading his mind and awakening strange feelings that he had never experienced before? Kikyou. She appeared to him, treating him differently, loving him like a mother would love a lost child and picking him up out of the dirt.

He was scared… scared to return these different feelings to her. She had prodded his heart, waking it up from its cold, depleted slumber of displacement and upheaval. Then, abruptly, she died, leaving him alone to himself again, suspended in animation for 50 years, not able to pass on to the next world and join her.

What happened during those 50 years?

His anger, hatred, and thoughts of betrayal brewed inside of him. How dare she! How dare that bitch pretend to love him, only to backstab him after all he had done for her, after trusting her! She had promised him the jewel. The Shikon no tama. The miko had promised that if he used it to become human, that they could spend their lives together.

True, he had not exactly wanted that at first. Be with a human? Spend his life with her?

How absurd.

At least, he thought it was. As time passed, his mind slowly began to side with the other, more human musings, convincing himself that living with a human woman like Kikyo wouldn't be that bad. Now, if he ever had the chance, he would go back and fix everything he had done wrong with her. With Kikyo.

But then again, would he really?

Inuyasha pondered his thoughts with a furrowed brow and confused expression. Maybe… maybe life with Kikyo would have suited him then, but now… he wasn't so sure.

He had been held there, not able to pass onto the next life… waiting… planning… He would get her back for what she did to him. He made a vow to himself, never to let himself love again, never to let someone through that tiny crack in the stone around his heart. He would become his previously desolate self.

Then, he was released from the 50-year long spell, and found himself face to face with her; the woman who killed him, betrayed him.

Kikyou.

However, after careful inspection, he found it was not she. It was a different girl. Kagome.

Kagome… she was a miracle; his second chance at love. At first, he despised her for what she had done to him in her previous life, pushing away the eccentric warmth and friendliness that continually radiated from her. Her bubbly and cheerful behavior was surprising to him. Wasn't this the reincarnation of Kikyou, the one who killed him and pinned him to a tree fifty long years ago? The silent, almost austere miko who rarely smiled?

In time, he found out how wrong he was. True, she was Kikyou's reincarnation. She was, indeed Kikyou, reborn. Who else could possess such great spiritual power, purifying forces that rivaled that of even their sworn enemy, Naraku?

Nevertheless, there was a definite difference between the two. Kagome was so kind hearted and giving, never expecting the kindness to be returned. She was forgiving, and put her entire trust in him, never questioning his judgment, despite the fact that he was a hanyou. She cared nothing of those things. Him being half youkai, half human; she didn't disapprove of that. She was able to see through his tough exterior and find the softer, more sentimental Inuyasha that was never shown.

With Kagome, it had been so pleasant, so comforting… to just talk casually with her, without knowing it. He would unconsciously tell her things that he would never mention to anyone else, things about his dark and solemn past. He was never able to do that with Kikyou; whether it was the fact that he had not trusted her enough, or whether she wasn't the kind to receive, he didn't know.

It didn't matter what he was talking about with Kagome, she would always gaze into his eyes and smile up at him, accepting every word with consideration and understanding, never questioning. He never had to pretend with her.

Her presence comforted him, gave him strength. Her soothing touch always seemed to give him undying strength and self-assurance. He never wanted to be away from her. He had made that mistake once before when he tried to seal her on the other side of the well, but she pushed her way through time and ran towards him with tearful, longing eyes that pierced his soul with guilt. He then promised himself that he never, ever wanted to see those tearful, sorrowful eyes again.

In a day, she was back to her lively self, encouraging their group with an inspirational smile. Her irritation or annoyance with anyone was always short-lived, as if it blew away with the passing wind. There were very few times, that Inuyasha could remember, when Kagome wasn't laughing, smiling, or trying to lift his mood. God how he loved that smile…

But not anymore. He wouldn't ever be able to see her beautiful, smiling features. Now that she was… she was…

Inuyasha flinched back, shutting away his thoughts. "Damnit… I… I'm such a weakling…" he whispered to himself, ignoring the way his anxious tone of voice betrayed his true feelings. He couldn't stop thinking about her…

He would never stop thinking about her.

It was a vicious cycle of hurt, his life. Ever since Kikyou died, he had been plagued with thoughts of guilt, and even though he knew there was no way he could have prevented her death, he still blamed himself for her passing. However, when Kagome died… it was his fault. He was there. He saw Kikyou-no, Kagura-fire that arrow at her. He watched as her lively spirit slowly seeped from her body and the last glimmer of life flicker out of her vibrant blue-grey eyes.

It was HIS fault that he couldn't save her… that he couldn't stop the blood from flowing, that he couldn't block the path of those deadly arrows. It was all his fault.

How would he tell her family? He would have to sooner or later, knowing that it would be what Kagome wanted. Inuyasha could envision their tear-streaked faces when he informed them of her passing, their anger at him because he was not able to protect her. What about that little boy who always looked up at him with such admiration and respect? Kagome used to always complain about how he continuously ranted about growing up to be just like 'Inuyasha-onii-chan'. How would his eyes look at him now? With sadness? Disappointment? Anger? Or maybe all of them?

His eyes dropped to the floor as his eyebrows lowered sadly, not noticing the fuzzy triangles atop silver hair droop in somber despair. It was true. He was a failure… a failure because he couldn't save them, either of them, Kagome or Kikyou. Two women had died, now, because of him. "Kagome…" he whispered, his voice cracking slightly as he closed his eyes. "Why did you leave me alone?"

A soft light pricked the lids of his eyes, and he gently opened them to look up at the annoyance. He held back a gasp of surprise when he realized what had created the light, realizing his own body was glowing a soft pink. "What the-"

"Inuyasha…"

Inuyasha's head snapped up, and he barely prevented himself from stumbling backwards in unadulterated astonishment. "Ka… Kagome…?"

The woman's lightly glowing skin emitted a warming light that ran through Inuyasha's broken body and soothed him. A smile shone on her lips and she tucked a loose strand of black hair behind her ear. Her long, dark lashes outlined her sapphire eyes, and a hint of grey glistened in her large, joyful orbs. "Inuyasha, I hope I haven't worried you." She said, her singsong voice still present in her angelic-like state.

Inuyasha took a step towards her and reached out a clawed hand. Was she real, or was he dreaming? He had to be.

The young woman blinked at him in confusion as he reached out and lightly touched her face. A smile graced her lips once more, replacing the miniature "o" as she reached up and lay a consoling hand on his, moving it from her face. "Inuyasha, I am real. I'm no illusion."

His golden eyes widened as his hands touched her face, not passing through her. She… she was real! His eyes trailed over the outfit that she wore, a smile tugging at his lips as he realized that she was still wearing her old school uniform. A frown became apparent when he noticed the rips in her clothing, in the same places where her skin had been pierced. "What wrong, Inuyasha?" she whispered to him as his hands tenderly touched the spots on her body where her flesh was once ruptured.

"Kagome…" he whispered to her, almost as if anything above his light tone would cause her to disappear, "Your wounds… they're-"

She, once again, removed his hands and wrapped them gently in her own. "Of course they're gone, Inuyasha, I'm not in a human body right now."

Inuyasha's face contorted into an expression of confusion. "What do you mean, Kagome? You're right here, talking to me."

She smiled. "That I am, Inuyasha. You're not dreaming, you're held in suspended animation so that I can talk to you."

Inuyasha inhaled her sweet scent, his taught muscles relaxing as her calming smell wrapped around him like an invisible blanket, warming his soul. He stepped forward, clasping onto her hands. "Kagome… it feels like I haven't seen you in an eternity."

Kagome's smiled loosened and she looked away. "It's been the same for me, too." She was silent for a few seconds before she began to speak again. "Inuyasha, I-"

Her words were silenced by surprise when he wrapped her in a tight embrace, and she sighed and melted into his chest. She couldn't believe how much she had missed him… missed his rare affection. The strong, reassuring arms around her restored her hope, giving her renewed happiness. Her hands fisted in his haori and she buried her face into his embrace. The desperation in his hug was so obvious, and she bit her lip in deep contemplation. How could she have left him like this? She could tell just by the tone of his voice how he had felt while she was gone… lost.

It wasn't too hard for her to believe, though. When she first met Inuyasha, it was almost as if he was a wanderer… someone looking for a home. She instinctively reached out to him, embracing his hindered soul with her comforting spirit and gave him someone to talk to, someone he could speak to about things he wouldn't tell anyone else. She smiled into his haori despite herself, because, eventually, instead of opening her mind to him, she ended up opening her heart, and she unconsciously fell in love with the desolate hanyou.

It was funny how things always ended up not turning out in his favor; how he lost the only two people he ever cared about, and all in great thanks to Naraku. It made Kagome tremble in an uncontrolled anger for the youkai, that he would do something so terrible to the only person she ever loved. She could feel it… his spirit was loosing it's life. He was slowly and unknowingly tearing apart his soul in despair and guilt, making Kagome's heart squeeze in concern.

She had watched him as he confused and unsettled nature slowly turned into anger, as he was unable to control his feelings of sorrow, lashing out at anyone who came near him. She wished that she could have laid a consoling hand on his shoulder; hold him silently until he calmed, whisper to him that everything was going to be okay, anything to take away his pain.

However, she couldn't. She was stuck in between the living and the dead, only able to watch as he suffered without her calming spirit to help him in his desperate state. She had left him… left him alone again, with no one to hold or talk to or lean on. It was all her fault, and there was nothing she could do about it.

She should have tried harder… she should have fought death, she could have fought death. She was too weak, too succumbing to the darkness which wrapped around her as she slipped away… when it would have been so easy to force herself to stay awake, to keep living… for Inuyasha…

For his love. Her heart fluttered at the fond memory that was still so fresh on her mind, still tingling on her lips. Her eyes closed in content. If only she could stay like this forever, wrapped in his arms, all of her concerns left behind in the abyss. Her eyes slowly slid open with realization; she couldn't. Not when there were more important things to worry about; not when Inuyasha was suffering because of her. "Inuyasha, I-"

"Don't Kagome." he whispered softly, loosening the hug so he could gaze into her glowing azure eyes with his gentle amber ones. "Stay with me, Kagome."

"I… I can't…" she breathed, already missing the absence of his strong arms wrapping around her torso. "It's not that simple."

"Kagome. Please… stay with me." he pleaded, locking his gaze with hers and staring deep into the depths of the misty blue orbs. "Don't leave me all alone again…"

Her heart twisted at the look on his face, because she already knew what the answer was. She slowly pulled away from him and her gaze fell to the floor, not wanting to tell him that she couldn't. "Inuyasha…"

"Do you remember, about a year ago, when you and I had that big fight and you ran back to your time?" Inuyasha asked, turning to smile softly at Kagome as she timidly chanced a confused look back at him. "It was the one, when I almost chose Kikyou…"

Kagome blinked at his statement. ~Almost?~

"But Shippo, Miroku and Sango just wouldn't leave me alone, continually accusing me of two-timing and telling me what an asshole I was," he said, chuckling at the memory and turning away from her searching gaze. "Then, when I gathered up my courage to see you, there you were, sitting on the rim of the well waiting for me."

As Inuyasha paused, Kagome inwardly gasped at her own realization. ~I remember now… that was the day… I thought I had lost him… to Kikyou…~

"You told me how you had thought about the three of us, and then you asked, 'Can I stay with you?' You were so forgiving and kind… and even after all I had put you through, you still wanted to be by my side." Kagome was silent as Inuyasha turned to face her, his eyes shining with unanswered questions. "Kagome… do you still wish to stay with me?"

Kagome's eyes glistened with unshed tears, and she closed her eyes and laughed. "Of course I do, Inuyasha." She opened her eyes again to smile sadly up at Inuyasha as he slowly approached her once more. "Why would I break the promise that I made, that I would stay by your side forever, no matter what?"

He clasped her hands and stared into her eyes, his reflection shining entrenched within their depths. They smiled at each other, their locked intensity never faltering, allowing time to slip by as they gazed at each other's expressions.

Inuyasha's expression slowly slipped into desolation, and he looked down, his eyes covered underneath a curtain of thick silver bangs. "Kagome, why did you have to die? Why… why can't you stay with me?"

Her eyes glistened with sadness and despair, knowing that she could not agree to his request. "Inuyasha, I wish that I didn't die, too, but I can't just…" Her voice faded and she trailed off, unsure of what to say. "I'm not even sure why I haven't passed to the next world, yet."

Inuyasha's eyes shot open. "What? You mean you aren't dead yet?"

She thought deeply for a second. "Well, my body died, but something is keeping my spirit from passing on, perhaps because part of my soul still remains in Kikyou." Kagome was silent for a moment, before it dawned on her. "Inuyasha! The shard! That's why! The Shikon no Tama is preventing me from dying because I'm still needed to piece together the jewel."

So, the jewel was keeping her body alive? "Wait a second, Kagome, so you're soul is still animate?!" he asked, hope and nervousness filling his voice.

She cast her gaze down to the floor again. "No… I'm ah… kind of floating in between both worlds, I guess. I am not alive, but I'm not exactly dead either." she replied. "I am only able to communicate with you through dreams. It's a bit difficult to explain."

Inuyasha's hopeful expression dropped in an instant, and his tight grip on her hands slackened. "Will you… be able to come back?" he asked quietly.

Her eyes fluttered closed. "I… I don't know." She whispered. "I… shouldn't be able to come back, because, I was killed… I think…" She turned her head to the side and her expression saddened again, piercing his heart. "I don't… really belong in the realm of the living… just like Kohaku… and Kikyou…"

Inuyasha watched as her face scrunched into a distraught expression once more. "Kagome, you're not Kikyou."

She paused, turning to look at him with a surprised and almost relieved expression. The two were quiet for a moment, before Kagome once again found her voice. "Thank you, Inuyasha." He replied with a smile and a nod of the head. Kagome returned it, and then her face turned more serious than before, her eyebrows lowering in deliberation.

"Inuyasha, you have to promise me that you will. I know you don't understand, but you have to do it," she instructed, her soft voice as she clasped her hands together in a pleading gesture.

Inuyasha nodded thoughtfully. He wasn't sure what she meant, but he was willing to do anything at this point, anything to keep her alive. "I promise."

Her eyes shined with happiness and desperation as she stepped forward. "I don't have much time left. Inuyasha, I-"

Strong arms wrapped around her petite form, and she gasped at his sudden show of affection. Inuyasha pulled her as close as he could, feeling his eyes sting again. "I'll never let you go again, Kagome."

Kagome's eyes widened, and her mouth fell open in surprise at his sudden forwardness towards her. "I… Inuyasha?" Her disbelief was evident in the tone of her voice.

His only response was a tightened grip on her waist, and she squeezed her eyes shut, leaning longingly into his warmth. This might be the last time she would ever be able to hold him. It might be the last time she would ever see him. "I… don't have much time left, Inuyasha."

Inuyasha knew he only had a few minutes left, so he absorbed as much of her as possible, wrapping her in his arms as tightly as he could. He inhaled her familiar, soothing fragrance and rested his head atop of Kagome's, wishing to stay like that for perpetuity. It felt so right to hold her in his arms, her chest pressed up against his, and no one else around. No Kouga there to declare his love for Kagome, no annoying companions to hide behind bushes and tell him what a jerk he is, and no Kikyou. Just him and Kagome.

That's the way it should be.

"Inuyasha…" her muffled voice whispered.

"Yes, Kagome?" he replied, letting his head rest a moment more atop her head before pulling back slightly to look at her.

"When… you kissed me, did you do it because you were scared that I was leaving you…" she trailed off as Inuyasha's face contorted into an expression of realization and averted her gaze to look to the side, "or because you loved me?"

Inuyasha was unsure of how to answer such a question. Wasn't it obvious to her? Though, it was out of desperation that he could find the courage to kiss her, when for so long he had been scared to for various reasons. "I guess… since I was so afraid of loosing you, that I…"

She was quiet, and her eyes turned away as her face began to emit a soft pink glow, spreading down her body all the way to her feet. She was disappearing. "No…" he breathed, pulling her close again, even as he felt her presence drift from him. "No! Wait!"

The outline of her body glimmered for a few short moments, before beginning to dissolve, disappearing from sight. "Wait, Kagome!" he cried out to her as if she was far away, and she slowly turned her saddened face to look at him. He grasped her shoulders and pulled her closer, tilting her face up to bring her lips hesitantly to his.

He felt her body go taut, but she slowly relaxed, leaning forward and slanting her chin upward to deepen the kiss. Kagome's hand trailed it's way up his shoulder to grab a fistful of hair at the nape of his neck, pushing their lips ever more closer. Their bodies melted into one another, the two of them pulling as close to each other as physically possible. Kagome enjoyed the euphoria of emotions that flowed through her body from their heated connection at the lips. Her softer lips crushed to his tougher ones were sending shockwaves of electricity through her and hitting her deep within her core, sparking reaction from deep within her.

They finally parted, both dizzy and feeling more exposed than before as they gasped for air, still clasping onto each other in desperation. Kagome's hand lifted up to her lips, which were still tingling from the sensation of his mouth crushed against hers. Inuyasha's bright, glittering eyes locked onto hers, and he smiled, whispering, "I'll be waiting for you, Kagome."

His hands suddenly weren't holding onto hers, and he looked down in question to see that his fingers had passed though her hand, as her figure slowly began to disappear. Her scent slowly faded along with her body, until only an outline was left behind, glistening happily at him. Her pale, radiant face smiled at him, and she brought her hands to rest where her heart would be, only the shimmering lines of her figure still visible, her eyes shining up at him. "I'll find you, Inuyasha."

Kagome completely vanished from sight, leaving behind only sparkling air in her wake and her sweet scent amidst the air. "I'll find you." her gentle voice whispered, before fading away, swallowed by the surrounding darkness.

Inuyasha held his hand out, catching bits of the sparkles in his outstretched hand and unsettling the sparkled outline of where she once was, swirling together and disappearing from sight. The happiness and fulfill ness he had received from her presence was slowly drained from him as he felt himself drift away from the void of black. He didn't want to leave, leave the place where she once was… the last place he would probably ever see her smiling face…

Before he could finish his thoughts, he was pulled away from the dream and back into reality.

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^______^ So, how did you like it? Tell me your best part, 'cause I may repeat it later on… ^_~ You never know what I'll write, ne? Did the kiss surprise you? C'mon, I know you liked it… ^_^ Why else would you be reading an Inuyasha/Kagome angst, hm? Hey, now you know why I told you guys to go back and reread the end of the first chapter, don't you? Tell me what you think, peepz! R&R! Sorry for the lateness, once more!

I would give you a preview of the next chapter, but I don't want to give anything important away… ^_~ I will give you a hint, though. A few snippets of dialogue from chapter four (mind you… they may be scattered)

"I'll be leaving for a while."

"Wait, Inuyasha, what are you doing?!"

"Give me the Shikon no Kakera, and I will spare her life…"

^_^ Next chapter will be quite lengthy, folks, so stay tuned! R&R!