InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Troubling Thoughts Have Dangerous Consequences ❯ Troubling Thoughts Have Dangerous Consequences ( Chapter 1 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of  their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. In other words, I don't own and I make no money from this.

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Originally posted to Inuyasha Fanfiction on June 26, 2012 for oneshot #17 Reflection and won 2nd place.

Title: Troubling Thoughts Have Dangerous Consequences
Author: ananova
Word Count: 4325
Prompt: Reflection
Genre: Drama/Friendship/Hurt/Comfort
Rating: M
Warnings: Language, Adult Situations, Molestation. Nothing really graphic, rated just to be on the safe side.
Characters: Inuyasha and Kagome, Mrs. Higurashi
Summary: A depressed Kagome's decision to wander off by herself leads to a nearly tragic situation. Takes place after Kikyou's final death.

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“I'll be back, I'm just going to fetch water from the stream,” Kagome called with a wave, ignoring Sango's offer to accompany her. She felt her smile slip as she forced herself to walk normally, not wanting to draw attention by hurrying away.

Kagome sighed as she reached the stream and knelt down. She glanced over her shoulder, relieved to see that she hadn't been followed. 'Good,' she thought, letting her hand trail through the calm stream, causing ripples to appear. She didn't know why she felt so depressed at the moment, she only knew that she needed a few moments by herself. She shook her head. That wasn't true, she did know what was bothering her, she just didn't want to admit it.

She sighed once more, then reached for her bag. “Better get the water before they start to worry,” she said to herself. Bottles in hand, she turned back to the stream but stopped as her reflection caught her eye. She quickly looked over her shoulder but she was alone. That really was her reflection staring back at her.

Tears welled in her eyes but she forced them back and angrily slapped at the water, distorting her image. “Go away!” she hissed angrily at it. “I'm not her! I'm me. Kagome. KA-GO-ME!” She slapped the water again. “Why do I have to look so much like her?!”

And that was the crux of it, the reason she was feeling so down. She had noticed Inuyasha giving her strange looks recently, and acting distant toward her. And it had started after she had returned through the well. She knew why, he was missing Kikyou, feeling guilty that she had died, again. More tears gathered in her eyes as she recalled how she had failed to save the other miko. Was it possible he blamed her for her death? Or was he merely trying not to replace one miko with another? Was that all she would ever be? A replacement for the one he couldn't have?

After all, he had certainly seemed like he wanted to go with the vision of Kikyou that Kaou's flowers had produced. Did he regret that he allowed her voice to call him back?

Kagome groaned, pressing her hand to her eyes as she forced those thoughts to the back of her mind. The only way to answer them was to ask and she wasn't sure if she was ready for his answer. She sighed, knowing she should be heading back to camp before the others grew worried and searched her out. She quickly gathered the water and retrieved her bag. Standing, she turned to head back to camp only to run straight into what felt like a brick wall. “Oomph,” she exclaimed as she fell back. “What?” she started to say before gasping.

“What have we here?” The boar youkai chuckled, leering down at her, a large ax clasped in one hand. He was tall, well over six feet, closer to seven. His skin was a mottled gray and appeared to be extremely thick with coarse black hair interspersed across it. Large tusks extended past his porcine snout, and a mouth full of sharp, pointy teeth were flashed at her.

“Looks like dinner,” a second boar added, licking his fat, blubbery lips.

Kagome tried to take a step back but couldn't. The stream was directly behind her and the two youkai had managed to situate themselves so that there was no way for her to go around them. She gulped nervously.

“I don't know, I think I'd like to have some fun first,” the first youkai said as he continued to leer at her. “Come here and give us a kiss.” He reached for her, his fat lips quivering as he puckered them.

Kagome finally found her voice as she tried to slap his hands away. “Inuyasha!” she screamed, kicking out and catching the leering boar in the gut. She started to run as the other youkai howled with laughter at his companion, but was jerked to a stop as her scalp burned. “Gah!”

“That wasn't very nice,” the angry boar glared down at her as he held her by the hair. He yanked her back toward him and another cry of pain escaped her.

A loud growl filled the area as Inuyasha appeared. “Let her go!”

“Filthy hanyou,” the two youkai sneered, looking him over derisively. “Who are you to demand anything of us?” the one holding Kagome asked, giving her hair a vicious yank and causing her to cry out in pain once more.

Inuyasha's eyes widened before narrowing in rage. His hands clenched at his sides.

“Go take care of him,” the one holding Kagome ordered as he hoisted her into the air by her hair, delighting in her cries of pain. “While I have some fun with this one.” His free hand swiftly rose to roughly palm her chest, squeezing and pinching the sensitive flesh through the cloth covering it as he chuckled at her cries of dismay and disgust.

The other one chuckled. “You shouldn't have interfered hanyou, now you get to die too. Don't worry, your death will be a lot quicker and less painful than hers. Dai likes to play with his food, if you get my meaning,” he laughed again as he hefted his own ax.

Inuyasha saw red at his words and with a wordless scream of rage he drew Tessaiga and sliced through the youkai, ax and all.

Dai heard the commotion and turned from where he had been pawing a struggling Kagome. “You Bastard! You killed my brother!”

Inuyasha merely pointed Tessaiga in his direction. “And I'll kill you too! Let her go, now!”

Dai pulled her closer instead. “I don't think so. Looks like I've got the upper hand, hanyou. You wouldn't dare attack, not while I'm holding her. It would be so simple to snap her neck. Just one little tug...” He yanked her hair, snapping her head violently to the side in emphasis.

“Damn it!” Inuyasha growled, feeling powerless to help her.

Tears rolled down Kagome's face as she saw the look of helplessness cross his face. She had never felt so violated in her life as when those filthy, meaty hands had roamed her body, touching her roughly in places they had no business. And she knew Inuyasha wouldn't dare attack, not while her life was at risk. She winced and cried out as Dai's other hand rose up again and began to roughly palm her breasts through her shirt. Even the pain from hanging by her hair couldn't distract her from what was happening to her body.

“That's what I thought!” Dai laughed. “Is she your woman? Is that why you're so concerned? Funny, she doesn't taste like she's been taken,” he said as he licked her neck. “What's the matter, don't know what to do with a female?” He laughed uproariously, Kagome swaying by her hair with every laugh. “Well you can watch while I have my fun and learn how it's done. Maybe I'll even leave her alive if she's good enough,” he added with a leer.

Inuyasha growled, starting to lunge forward. He froze when the boar yanked Kagome's hair again, snapping her head roughly to one side.

“Uh-uh-uh,” he tutted. “Remember my warning.”

Inuyasha had never felt so helpless as he watched the vile creature defile his beautiful Kagome, touching her with his filthy hands. His heart broke at the look on her face as tears streamed from her eyes. 'Kagome, forgive me.' He couldn't do anything yet, he couldn't risk her life. He could only hope for a distraction so he could act. But would she ever forgive him for his inaction in the meantime?

“Now, where were we?” Dai's voice came right in her ear before she felt his fat, slobbery lips against her neck.

She jerked away, disgusted, then felt yet another tug on her hair. More tears escaped her. If she survived this, how would she ever be able to look Inuyasha in the eye again? He would know what was done to her, hell, he would witness it.

Inuyasha snarled but he dared not move closer. His hands tightened on Tessaiga's hilt, nearly forgotten in his hand as the scene played out before him, and the sword pulsed in response. Suddenly he knew what to do.

Kagome renewed her struggles as she felt the groping hand drift lower. “N-no!” she cried. She would not let this happen. Her head was jerked yet again, then the painful grip on her hair was gone and she was falling. Familiar, strong arms grasped her before she could hit the ground and she sighed in relief. Inuyasha had saved her.

“Kagome! Kagome, are you alright?” Inuyasha's concerned voice filled her ears.

She began to shake as the relief faded and the reality of what almost happened hit her. She was lowered to the ground as her body shook uncontrollably, the shock of her experience hitting her hard now that the danger had passed. “Damn it wench! Answer me!” Hands touched her shoulders and she couldn't help but flinch slightly. They quickly dropped away. “Kagome...” His voice sounded so heart-broken.

“I-Inuyasha!” she cried, as she curled up into a ball.

A hand tentatively touched her shoulder again, and this time she threw herself into his arms, sobbing. Strong arms slowly came around to gently embrace her before lifting her up against a strong, familiar chest. “I'm here, you're safe now,” he told her as she cried herself out. “Don't worry, I'll take you home.”

As he stood with her in his arms, Kagome felt him pause and bend to retrieve something. She turned her head slightly, her eyes widening at the sight of Dai's dead body lying there, his head cleaved in two  by Tessaiga. 'He threw Tessaiga,' she realized. 'Just like Manten,' she thought, remembering the death of the Thunder Brother that had threatened her and Shippou so long ago. But how had he managed it when she had been used as a shield?

Her eyes drifted down the boar youkai's body before halting on the hand that had held her prisoner by her hair. Hair that was still clenched in his fist. Her hand rose unbidden to the back of her head, tracing her hair down until it stopped suddenly, much sooner than it should have.

Inuyasha noticed her actions and gently moved her hand away from her hair. “I'm sorry,” he told her, unable to meet her eyes, afraid of the accusation he would see there. “It was the only way.” He shifted his grip on her, cradling her to his chest as he returned Tessaiga to it's sheathe, then hurried back to camp.

“About time, did you manage to catch any-” Sango started to speak before glancing up. “Kagome-chan! What happened?”

Kagome turned her head away as the others hurried over, worriedly calling her name, and buried her face in the crook of Inuyasha's neck.

“Quiet!” Inuyasha ordered as he felt her breathing hitch against his neck at their proximity and demands. The others took a step back in shock. “She's fine. She was attacked but I took care of them. I'm taking her home, meet us back at Kaede's.”

The others could only nod dumbly as the hanyou immediately acted on his words, running off in the direction of Kaede's village, and the bone-eater's well.

“Kirara!” Sango called as they began to pack up camp again.

While they hurried to pack up so they could leave, Inuyasha was racing toward the bone-eater's well, Kagome held tightly to his chest. He glanced down at her, speeding up as he realized that she had fallen asleep. 'Asleep or unconscious?' he worried. He continued to run throughout the night, the light from the moon and stars guiding him on his journey.

He sighed in relief when the well came into view a few hours later, the sun just starting to rise. 'Good thing I can travel faster when I can set the pace. Doesn't hurt that the return trip can always be made in a straight line,' he idly thought in order to distract himself as he thought about how long it had taken to get to their former campsite versus how long it took him to return. He was trying not to focus on his worry for the girl in his arms, not that he succeeded.

His ears flattened against his head as he heard another whimper of distress from Kagome. Inuyasha paused as he finally reached the well, stopping before he leaped into it. “I'm here, Kagome,” he whispered, arms tightening around the girl as he settled his chin atop her head. “You're safe.” He felt her calm and relax in his arms, then made the journey through time.

Leaping from the well, he listened carefully then slid the door to the well-house open. He quickly glanced around but the courtyard was empty and he made his way to the house. Upon reaching it he paused again, considering his options. Finally, he shook his head and leaped to the roof before easily lowering himself to Kagome's window and sliding it open. Climbing into the room, he set the girl on the bed, gently disentangling her hands from their death grip on his haori. He reached out and smoothed the hair away from her face. “I'm sorry,” he whispered again.

Inuyasha didn't know how long he knelt their, staring at her. But finally, he shook himself out of his daze and exited Kagome's room, heading toward the kitchen where he could hear her mother moving around. “Higurashi-san,” he called as he entered, trying not to alarm her.

Mrs. Higurashi quickly turned, a bright smile on her face. “Inuyasha! I wasn't expecting you to be back so soon. Where's Kagome?” Her smile faded as she saw the grim look on his face. She paled. “W-what's happened?”

Inuyasha was quick to reassure her. “She's alright! She's upstairs, sleeping.” Mrs. Higurashi sighed. “But...” he trailed off, unable to find the words.

“Is she hurt?”

He shook his head. “No. At least, not physically.” He blew a breath out.

Mrs. Higurashi gave him a sharp look at that but was easily able to spot his distress. She took him by the hand and led him to the table. “Sit,” she told him, patting him on the hand as she joined him. “Now tell me what happened.”

Haltingly, he did so. About hearing her scream and seeing her being held by a youkai. Of killing one but being unable to rescue her from the other for fear for her life. Of being forced to watch her being groped, a part of her innocence lost forever. Of finally being able to act but afraid he was too late, that she had lost too much.

Mrs. Higurashi listened without interrupting, tears in her eyes for not only her daughter but the brave young man who sat before her and clearly loved her daughter deeply. And who clearly thought he was about to be thrown out, she realized as she observed his tense body language. “Thank you,” she said quietly once he had finished, rising from her chair to give him a hug.

Inuyasha stared at her in shock. “What the hell are you thanking me for?! D-don't you get it? It's my fault! I failed her!”

Mrs. Higurashi shook her head. “You saved her,” she corrected.

He shook his head. “She wouldn't have even been there if not for me. I drag her back there despite knowing how dangerous-”

“No. She chooses to go. You couldn't keep her away if you tried.” Mrs. Higurashi gave him another smile. “No, you did save her. True, it would have been better if you could have prevented them from attacking her at all but you can't protect her from every little thing, no matter how hard you try. I know,” she added when he made to protest. “All parents want to protect their children and it hurts when we can't, so I know a bit of how you are feeling. But you saved my daughter's life, among other things today, so thank you.” She gave him one last pat on the hand then stood. “I'm going to check up on her, I'm sure she'll want to see you when she wakes, so please, don't go.”

Inuyasha merely nodded, lost in thought.

Mrs. Higurashi quickly took the stairs and entered her daughter's room. She sighed in relief to see her daughter lying on her bed, physically unharmed. Mentally might be another story but they would deal with that later. She winced slightly at the ragged cut of her hair but that could be fixed and it would grow back. It was only hair. The important thing was that she was here and unharmed.

Kagome began to stir. “N-no,” she whimpered.

Mrs. Higurashi quickly sat on the bed and stroked her daughter's hair. “Shh sweetheart, Mama's here,” she crooned.

Kagome opened her eyes. “Mama?” They widened upon spotting her mother and she sat up, throwing her arms around her mother. “Oh, Mama, I had the worst nightmare,” she sobbed before realizing that her head felt lighter than it should. She reached back and couldn't feel her hair. “I-it wasn't a dream, was it?” she asked.

“I'm afraid not,” Mrs. Higurashi replied as she tightened her grip on her daughter.

“I feel so dirty Mama! H-he touched me! He wanted to-to-” She couldn't continue.

“I know, I know,” Mrs. Higurashi did the best she could to comfort her daughter. “But you're alive and he didn't. Inuyasha stopped him.”

Kagome nodded against her mother's shoulder. “He saved me. He always does.”

“I know.”

“I still feel dirty.” Kagome shuddered.

“I know, and I'm sorry. Perhaps taking a nice long bath will help?” She reached out and fingered her daughter's hair. “And afterward, I'll see what we can do about this. Some pampering is just what you need.”

“Thanks Mama.” Kagome gave her a weak smile before heading toward the door. She paused, looking down at her outfit. “Mama? I know the uniform is expensive but-”

“I'll burn that one.”

“Thanks Mama.” Her smile was a bit stronger.

Kagome sighed a while later as she relaxed in the tub. She still felt dirty but she knew that feeling would last for a while. She felt much better than she had before. A knock sounded at the door and she was able to give her mother a much more genuine smile than earlier.

Mrs. Higurashi returned the smile, then held up a pair of scissors. “Now let's see what we can do about this mess.”

A while later Kagome was back in her room, dressed in her pajamas and staring at her reflection in the mirror. Her hair, which once went midway down her back now ended just above her shoulders. Her mother had done a good job of evening the length out. Without the added weight of the additional length of hair, the waviness of it stood out more as it curled around her face, framing it. Kagome couldn't help but notice how her resemblance to Kikyou was greatly lessened by this effect.

There was a knock at the window and she turned to see Inuyasha crouching there, looking unsure of his welcome. “Kagome? Are you-?”

She gave him a small smile. “You know you don't have to knock Inuyasha.” She went to the window and grabbed his hand, pulling him inside.

He could only stare at her. “You're hair,” he said as he reached out to finger it.

Kagome bit her lip, then pasted a bright smile to her face. “Yeah, Mama did a good job, didn't she?”

“I'm sorry,” he blurted out.

“For what?”

“I should have protected you better. I shouldn't have left you alone.”

Kagome shook her head. “It wasn't your fault, you can't be with me every minute of every day. Besides, it was my own fault that I was alone. Sango offered to come with me but I turned her down.”

“What?! Why the hell would you go off by yourself?! You know how dangerous that it.”

“I know but I just needed some time to think things over.”Inuyasha quieted at her tone of voice and the sad expression that had come over her face. He tried to think of something else to say, other than to berate her for things that couldn't be changed now. His eyes once more landed on her hair. “Your hair,” he blurted out again. “I'm sorry I had to cut it.”

She waved him off. “I understand, you did it to save my life. Besides,” she added. “It'll grow back.”

His hand rose again to finger a curly lock. “It suits you.”

Kagome gave him a surprised look. “Really? You really think so?”

He shrugged.

Kagome deflated slightly, biting her lip. “You... aren't upset? That it makes me look less like... Kikyou?”

It was Inuyasha's turn to stare at her in surprise. “What? Why would I be upset about that?”

Kagome shrugged, turning away from him and fidgeting. “I don't know. It just seems that you've been avoiding me lately. I thought it was because I reminded you of her. Because I look so much like her. That you saw me as some sort of replacement,” she whispered the last.

He frowned. “What are you talking about?” He grasped her shoulder, spinning her around to face him. “I've told you before, Kagome is Kagome. You are no one's replacement, just like no one could replace you.”

Kagome's eyes widened, she had forgotten that! She started to smile, opening her mouth to thank him when she saw his frown deepen.

“Is that why you felt you needed to be alone? That I was seeing Kikyou and not you?” He shook his head. “Baka! I wasn't! I just...” A sigh escaped him. “I was just wondering if you wouldn't be safer if you stayed here. I failed to save Kikyou, I couldn't bear it if something happened to you too.” He snorted derisively. “And something nearly did anyway. Maybe you really would be better off remaining here.”

Her eyes widened at his words. “Inuyasha, no!” she cried, flinging her arms around his neck. “This wasn't your fault, it was mine. I should have just spoken with you, cleared up my own misunderstanding. I shouldn't have gone off alone, you were right about that. But I could never be better off remaining here, I'm safest when I'm with you. Please don't leave me behind!” She practically sobbed against his chest.

Hesitantly, he wrapped his own around her and returned the embrace, gently patting her back in an effort to calm her. After a few moments, he sighed. “I won't leave you behind. I promise. But you have to be more careful too. And next time something's bothering you, just ask me.” He groaned, running a hair through his hair. “I'm not good with words but I won't lie to you. Don't obsess over it and put yourself in danger. Come talk to me.”

Kagome pulled back slightly without releasing him to give him a watery smile. “I will,” she promised before hugging him again.

Inuyasha tightened his own grasp, enjoying the embrace before sighing. “Come on, you need to rest.” He lifted her up and carried her to the bed. But when he tried to put her down she refused to release him. “Kagome, you need to sleep.”

She shook her head. “Don't go.” She blushed, averting her eyes. “I feel safe in your arms,” she admitted. “I'm afraid that if you let go I'll be back there, only he wouldn't have been stopped. Please, just hold me? Just for a little while?” Her blush deepened.

Inuyasha blushed as well as her request sank in. Then he sighed. “Alright, just for a little while,” he agreed. He pulled her blankets aside and placed her in the bed before covering her with them. He silenced her protests when he climbed on to the bed as well, on top of the covers and pulled her to rest against his side.

Kagome sighed happily as she snuggled against his strong chest. She knew that she wasn't completely okay but she would be, as long as she had Inuyasha at her side.

Inuyasha smiled softly as he laid his chin atop her head. “Sleep, Kagome,” he murmured, his arm tightening reflexively around her. 'Just for a little while?' he asked himself with a snort. 'I could hold you forever.' Her scent surrounded him, lulling him to sleep as he listened to her heartbeat and soft, even breaths. Both smiled in their sleep, undisturbed by nightmares of what could have been, simply basking in the strong presence of the one they loved above all others.

Mrs. Higurashi sighed softly as she looked in on the scene from the doorway. Her daughter would still have a long road ahead of her, but she would recover from her experience and thrive with the young man currently holding her. 'They love each other deeply. Together they can survive anything. And that,' she reflected, 'is all that matters.'