InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Truth's Tears ❯ Sea of Stars ( Chapter 3 )

Disclaimer~ All rights for Inu Yasha belong to Rumiko Takahashi. This fiction is only for entertainment purposes. And if any part of this fanfiction resembles another it is purely coincidental.

Chapter 3 ~ Sea of Stars

"Kouga's death took a heavy toll on my heart, and I blamed the entire thing on myself. If I had done what Inu Yasha had said in the first place and just taken his shards, Kouga would still be alive. I was so stupid and so ignorant, and with the following days I did a lot of growing up..."

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Flames of a small fire licked toward the sky in wild abandonment as a small group of travelers stared listlessly at the glowing embers. Each watched as the flames danced over the coals almost merrily, die down and roar back to life as they tossed a stick or two in as fuel. A somber silence had fallen over then as each was left to their own troubled thoughts. Bright orange and yellow glow of the flame caste a gentle radiance to Kagome's tried and saddened face. Her expression was mournful while her eyes remained blank; tears no longer ran down her pale cheeks.

Quietly she sat there, watching the flames, unaware of the eyes that were watching her intently while she stroked the soft fur of the fox cub in her lap. Shippo had fallen asleep only moments after resting in her lap, the day's events overloading his young mind. He had been restless until she began to stroke his back in soothing motions all the while lost in her own thought. Her friend was gone.

Sango sat opposite Kagome from the fire, meticulously cleaning and polishing her weapon. Her eyes downcast as she tried to concentrate at the task at hand, Kirara curled beside her purring every now and then letting his mistress know she wasn't alone. Her hands stilled from the constant movement over the bone boomerang as a few more tears fell from her eyes. She quickly dashed them away and silently chided herself; she needed to be strong for Kagome. Lifting her heavy eyes to the young woman sitting across from her, Sango almost cried out in distress. Kagome's normally bright and lively eyes were completely blank; she looked strikingly more like Kikyo now than ever before. Taking her gaze away from her friend, Sango laid out her bedding. She needed sleep.

Kagome released a heavy sigh before she gently lifted the young cub from her lap and placed him on her bedding. Rising slowly, Kagome stood not bothering to shake the dirt from her bottom as she moved away from the fire and toward the forest. Her steps were soft and fast as she made a quick retreat from the small group and the merry fire. Her eyes were burning as she came upon Miroku, determined not to cry until she made it to the safety of the woods.

Miroku's hand rose just then and latched on her wrist, his warm violet eyes gazed to her own startled brown as he simply looked at her. Moments passed as Kagome felt herself breaking down under his worried stare, it felt as if an eternity had passed before he spoke. His voice was deep with sympathy, and as he spoke his eyes never once left hers.

"It is not your fault, Lady Kagome. Do not blame yourself for the fate of Kouga and Ayame."

Kagome once more fought the torrent of emotions that rushed her system, as Miroku's eyes bore into her own. Her voice failing her as she felt the first tears roll down her cheeks while Miroku's hand tightened around her wrist in comfort. Turning her head away she was barely able to respond to his kindness.

"Thank you Miroku, and don't worry. I don't blame myself."

Miroku snorted softly, he didn't believe her, "You don't have to lie to me, Lady Kagome, I know you well enough to know your hurting deep inside. You put too much on your shoulders by trying to carry the burden for all of us, and this has to stop. For once allow yourself peace, allow yourself to grieve normally without concern and allow us to help you."

Kagome listened to Miroku's soft, yet firm, words as she felt his hand release her wrist, grazing against the sensitive skin of her fingers before falling to his side. Still staring forward Kagome bowed her head as she responded quietly, "I need some time, Miroku, just give me some more time."

Miroku nodded his head in silent agreement before turning his eyes back to the small fire, "Sometimes time does not give us the answers we need, sometimes we have to look deeper into ourselves to find those answers."

Kagome's soft steps echoed through the silent forest as Miroku's words floated around her mind. Kagome's tears continued to flow down her cheeks while she quietly wept. Her tears the only proof of the sorrow she felt as her face remained impassive and detached. She moved forward with no destination in mind as she allowed her emotions to pour from her weary soul. The light from the full moon reflecting off of her damp cheeks and creating an ethereal glow around her slight form. Her light steps carrying her to an open meadow and stopping next to an ancient tree. Kagome's wet eyes drawn over the greying silhouettes, a cool breeze lightly caressing her skin causing her to close her eyes momentarily before opening and regarding the skyline sadly.

Only one night had passed since Inu Yasha had shown her the beauty this land held, only one night ago everything had been all right and she had been happy holding his hand. She had thought once that a romance between them was nothing more than a silly child's dream, that he would never look at her the way she looked at him. And yet, that night he did. He had gazed upon her with those piercing yellow eyes, showing her what he could not voice, the moment their hands joined.

Stars above her head shimmered in the moonlight, drawing her eyes to them, thoughts of Inu Yasha turning round in her mind. Their relationship seemed a lot like the stars in the sky, both looked so close to another and yet they were both so far away. Their emotions carefully shrouded behind the promises they had made, neither of them holding any true hopes of openly loving another.

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Errant silver-blue strands of hair blew lazily in the night air, a stark contrast to the dark red of Inu Yasha's robe. His legs dangling over the edge of the large branch he was currently resting in, swinging to and fro almost childlike while his mind wandered. He had failed. He was unable to keep Kagome safe. Sure she hadn't been wounded physically, but mentally she had suffered. He had been unable to protect her from the sorrow of losing those she loved and even more unable to comfort her when she needed it the most. Growling softly at his inability to drop his mask of indifference and give her what she wanted, what she needed. Inu Yasha mentally berated himself, he was to weak! Wishing he could just smash through the walls of insecurity surrounding him and accept Kagome's unwavering love, but he couldn't do that to her. He couldn't bring her more pain than she already suffered, it would be unfair to her, he still owed Kikyo his life and his soul.

Inu Yasha lifted a clawed hand to his forehead, pushing the errant, annoying strands of hair from his face. So lost in thought, he didn't notice the silhouetted form standing beneath his tree until it released a soft cry. Darting his gaze down and tensing momentarily. Inu Yasha quickly realized who it was.

"Kagome?" He breathed softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

She had one hand held close to her chest, her eyes glimmered with the yet unshed tears and her posture bespoke her weariness and pain. Inu Yasha fought the urge to jump down and take her in his arms, instead he only watched as she gazed unto the skies. Her normally peaceful eyes looking blank, Inu Yasha involuntarily flinched when Kagome lifted her head more toward the stars. His heart tightened as the previous evening flashed before his eyes, she had been so happy then, her smile simply breathtaking as she held his hand tenderly in her own. Even then he had been too weak to tell her how he felt, always unable to do more than grunt when embarrassed. And now, under the same stars, he was unable do nothing more than watch as her tears flowed down her cheeks.

Leaping from the tree, Inu Yasha landed silently behind Kagome, watching intently as she continued to stare at the stars. Unsure of what he should do. Inu Yasha stood deathly still, almost afraid that any small movement would bring her sad gaze onto him. Inu Yasha breathed softly, her name was on his lips unwilling to pass further. He reluctantly lifted a stiff arm, reaching out to touch her, to hold her to at least give the comfort she so desperately needed. Yet the further he reached, the further away she seemed to get. Cursing softly at his inability to reach out to her, Inu Yasha turned around lowering his head in disdain. And there they stood, Inu Yasha facing the forests, a past he was used to and Kagome staring at the stars, a future she knew would come. Finally pulling himself away, Inu Yasha kept his eyes shadowed as he left the woman he loved to her own thoughts.

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Hope. What is hope, but an ideal that man clings to in their time of need? Some vague belief the desperate imagine that impossibility can actually become possible? Life doesn't work that way, we must make what is to be our possible. And yet, even knowing this, we willingly hope for a better outcome than those that have been presented to us. If we cannot hold on to our confidence, then are we truly worthy of Hope?

Sighing dejectedly, Kagome grumbled softly to herself, `I'm starting to sound like Miroku.'

Hearing a slight sound from behind her, Kagome quickly snapped her body around and stared wide-eyed at the retreating form of Inu Yasha. The hand gripping the front of her shirt tightened slightly as she continued to watch Inu Yasha's withdrawing form. She unconsciously lifted her other hand and reached out toward him, grabbing at the air that separated them. She was alone, utterly and totally alone. He was leaving her marooned on an island of stars to fight her overwhelming sense of helplessness.

"Inu Yasha..."

tbc...

To the Reviewers::

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Violet Rose~ Yes Naraku is a bastard. An evil, deceiving, good looking, sexy... Ya? Wait, what were we saying?? lol

Lady Sesshoumaru~ Its fun writing sad, twisted, horribly doomed fanfics. Quite a different change that what we're used to. ^^

Waterdruid~ We promise there will be more angsty, depressing, dark moments later on. So grab a bowl of your favorite ice cream and box of Kleenex and enjoy. ^^

A/N~ We're currently plagued by a recurring illness called writer's block. Any ideas and suggestions are welcomed and encouraged.