InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Twisted Hearts ❯ Broken Glass ( Chapter 11 )

Twisted Hearts

Broken Glass

 

Tú eras todo para mí / You were everything to me

Yo no creía mas que en ti / I didn't relieve in anyone but you

Y te llegaste a convertir en mi religión / And you became my religion

 

Tú eras todo y nada más / You were everything and nothing more

Eras mi voz eras mi hogar / You were my voice. You were my home

En medio de la soledad una bendición / In the middle of the solitude, a blessing

 

Pero algo extraño sucedió / But something strange happened

Mí cuento de hadas ya acabo / My fairy tale ended

Dijiste adiós y me rompiste el corazón / You said goodbye and you broke my heart

 

Cuanto te quiero / How much I love you

Cuanto te odio / How much I hate you

Cuanto te llevo en mis sentidos / How I carry you in all my senses

Si no te olvido es por puro masoquismo / If I don't forget you, it is because of masochism

 

Tú eras todo para mí desde el principio y hasta el fin / You were everything to me, from the beginning and to the end

No había como definir todo este amor / There was no way to describe all this love

 

-------

 

“What are his chances?”

 

Sesshoumaru didn't really need to ask of the boy's health. One look at the Miko Kagome on his way in had been enough. The boy was in bad condition, probably dying.

 

The doctor cleared his voice before speaking, prolonging his response. He was being questioned by Sesshoumaru Taisho, one of the most important figures of Japan, and he didn't want to say anything that would put him in danger of…of enraging a youkai.

 

“He is…delicate. But we are very optimistic about…”

 

“Do not lie to me.” Sesshoumaru words were clear and cold.

 

The doctor visibly flinched.

 

Sesshoumaru thought about challenging the man for making him lose more time from his business. They should have more competent doctors at this place.

 

“Souta Higurashi is dying. And there is nothing we can do for him here. His illness is a rare one, and Japan doesn't have what the boy needs. I had already told his mother Mrs. Higurashi and sister, Kagome Hi…Taisho, that he would probably need to be translated to another country, or a doctor from another place brought here. And at that time, the money had been a problem.”

 

“Now it is not.”

 

It was part of the deal. He married her because he needed a wife. She married him because she needed his money to save her brother. Now it was time to do his part.

 

Sesshoumaru had turned and go, leaving a very confused and shaken doctor behind.

 

For the next six hours, he made only calls.

 

He called every single person he fount could be useful. He made calls to countries from all the continents. He spoke to dozens of hospitals, locating the best heart specialists around the globe. And after dealing with prices, politics, and all other obstacles, he finally had what he had been looking for. Sesshoumaru had not only gotten one specialist. He had formed a team of doctors.

 

They were the best in their area. Dr. Zimmerman, from Germany, Dr. Abdulali from India, and the top specialist of heart problems, Dr. Latham, currently running a hospital in London. When Dr. Latham had refused to cooperate, Sesshoumaru had made another call and canceled all the doctor's congress for the next three months. Sesshoumaru then committed to pay Dr. Latham thrice what would have been paid to him in the lost times. So things had been settled.

 

Dr. Zimmerman was going to leave for Japan to see the condition of the boy. Dr. Latham and Dr. Abdulali would go over the case and start preparing for whatever was necessary.

 

The three doctors had promised to do everything in their power to save Souta Higurashi.

 

Sesshoumaru had casually told them that they would regret it if they didn't. The business youkai never got less than what he expected, so if he wanted the boy to live, he would do so even if it went against nature.

 

The last call Sesshoumaru made was to his secretary. He booked two tickets to London. Dr. Zimmerman could come and check on the boy, but Sesshoumaru would go to England to see that the other doctors did what he wanted.

---------

 

“I should have taken better care of him.”

 

Miroku sighed for the thousandth time and turned his gaze wearily at the boy.

 

“There was nothing you could do, Kohaku. Souta's ill. His heart is weak. This would happen sooner or later. It just happened sooner.”

 

“But…” Kohaku's grip tightened on the pen he clenched between his sweaty palms. He had known about Souta's condition. He had known that he shouldn't be overworked. Or perhaps it had been all the ice-cream they had eaten? It didn't matter.

 

Kohaku had promised to take care of Souta.

 

He had promised to keep him safe, and he had failed miserably. Now his friend since childhood lay on a bed with too many tubes and needles keeping his alive with his modest heart becoming weaker.

 

It was all his fault. He should have been firmer. He shouldn't have allowed him to run after Shippo.

 

He should not have fell for what Souta had wanted., but stuck to what the boy needed.

 

Listening to the ill never brought something good.

 

“I promised to look after him.”

 

“Nothing you could do would have changed this.”

”Shippo and I…we just wanted Souta to have some fun. His mother had not let him go out for so long...”

 

“You just wanted to make him happy.”

 

“Souta told me that he wanted to live, and now...now he is dying.”

 

Miroku placed a comforting hand on Kohaku's shoulder.

 

“I think what Souta meant was that he wanted to live whatever time he had left to the fullest. I don't think he would have been happy to just…be alive. What Souta wanted was to enjoy life. Do you think that is wrong?”

 

“...No but-”

 

“Then?”

 

“He is dying.”

 

Miroku gave him a sad smile.

 

“Yes he is, and we can only hope that he will get better. Still, I don't think that he would change that moment with you. Even if he knew of the consequences. Kohaku, we all will die. So we can't live being fearful of death.”

 

“I don't want him to die.”

 

“Of course not, but that decision is not in your hands.”

 

The pen dropped from Kohaku's hand.

 

“Thank you... for talking with me, Miroku.” thanked Kohaku, a small smile breaking through his darkness.

 

Miroku laughed. “You can thank me by convincing your sister to go out on a date with me.”

 

The twelve year old grinned. “Consider it done.”

 

They shook hands, and Miroku thought no one could consider him a bad negotiator.

---

Kagome stared at her coffee. Black coffee. No sugar. She usually drank it with loads of cream and even more sugar. She didn't have a taste for coffee. The taste of coffee alone was always bitter to her Tastebuds, and the strong flavor lingered in her mouth all day long no matter what she ate to mask it.

 

Sango always laughed at her. She told her that she drank sugar and milk with a little side of coffee. It usually made Kagome laugh to think about it.

 

Not today.

 

Besides, she hadn't even taken a sip out of her black coffee. She didn't think her stomach could handle it. Kagome closed her eyes for a moment and opened them again.

 

Kami, she hated hospitals. Everything in them was so bright...white…

 

The walls around her screamed loony-house. The nurses that passed by were cloaked in white. Her coffee sat stilly in a colorless white cup. Even the sofa she sat on was white. Everything was white, and so she stared down at her coffee which was the only thing that understood the color of her mood.

 

She hated white, at least up till now.

 

Souta was not okay. She couldn't keep lying to herself. She had seen the face of that doctor when she asked about him.

----

“We can't tell you anything certain right now, but we are doing all we can...”

 

That was what he had said. But Kagome understood what the doctor was really saying.

 

“We won't tell you anything now because when he dies, we don't need you to start panicking.”

 

Her brother was not going to be okay.

 

`Souta will...he might....'

 

The cursed thought swam through her mind, running over and over. Threatening to knock down her barriers, urging her to scream; daring her to give up.

 

She was very close to admitting defeat.

 

Kagome could do nothing and was nothing. Her pleas and prayers wouldn't save her brother. Hoping and wishing wouldn't make him any better. Smiling reassuringly at the much loved boy wouldn't give him a new heart.

 

Kagome was useless.

 

She was running out of ideas and strength, wishing she had more time.

 

Sesshoumaru was supposed to get the best doctor to look at Souta. The youkai had even promised to send him to another country if it was needed. They had it all planned. It would have been perfect. She was sure he would have been saved. Her sacrifice to marry the demon would have been worthy. Now it became clearer that it wasn't. Souta's heart was not as strong as they'd been made to believe. Time had run out. There was nothing more to do, and she was stuck with the hope for nothing, and her brother would die.

 

`Souta will die.'

 

The world was not fair, and Kagome knew it. She had always known that. She just chose to ignore it.

 

Kagome put her coffee down on the table beside her and brought her hands to both sides of her head. She was all alone, and the silence around her was getting on her nerves. She hated waiting, hated uncertainty, and hated feeling small.

 

She hated hospitals. They always brought these things.

 

Her mother was too tired and worried to stay so Sango had taken her home. Shippo had been with Kagome for over five hours. But even he needed a break; hunger being the only thing that could make pull him apart from her side.

 

Sesshoumaru…He took one look at her and went to Lord knows what. He hadn't returned, and she'd been here in this white washed room for over six hours.

 

And Kohaku…Kohaku had been so guilty. He mumbled something about not protecting Souta enough.

 

Kagome had tried to tell him that it was okay, that there was nothing he could have done.

 

There was nothing anyone could have done, but still Kohaku sat plagued with guilt. She hoped she could get to him. She hoped he got better. Twelve years was too young to feel so guilty.

 

And Souta was too young to die.

 

Kagome pressed her hands hard against her head. There were so many things that Souta wanted to do. He wanted to travel. He wanted to go play with his friends. He wanted to drive a car. He wanted, and it broke Kagome's heart to think that he might not get to do these things.

 

“Kagome.”

 

It was said in a whisper, but she heard it as if it had been a shout. It took her out of her thoughts and into new ones. She opened her eyes but kept her head down. She knew that voice.

 

Anywhere, anytime... no matter what. She would have died for that voice, and she would have lived for it. And if she had heard that voice calling her name on her wedding day, she would have left everything just to follow it... to hear it say her name once more.

 

Even now that voice was powerful enough to pull her thoughts from her brother.

 

“Inuyasha.”

 

Her hands fell from the sides of head, but her long black hair still shielded her gaze; she did not dare look at him.

 

“Kagome.”

 

It was said more strongly this time. It also sounded nearer. Kagome didn't know if she should stay or go.

 

“I thought you were on your honeymoon.”

 

“We came back sooner. As soon as we heard, we came hear.”

 

We…wait…

 

“Kikyo is here too?”

 

He hesitated, and she knew the answer.

 

“She went to the restaurant around the corner for something to eat. I told her to bring you something, too. Knowing you, you haven't eaten at all, and we all know hospital food sucks.”

 

Kagome didn't know if she should feel flattered because he still knew her, or insulted because he had brought Kikyo, but surely he knew that she didn't want to see her.

 

Inuyasha sat next to her.

 

She wanted to touch him, hold him, feel him …she also wanted him to go far away, though she didn't think she could stand it if he did.

 

She needed him now. More than ever, she needed him now, and he was here. And she couldn't believe it.

 

“I…”

”You…”

They both spoke at the same time, and then they fell silent. Finally, Inuyasha grew tired of it.

 

“You know you can count on me. Just because, because we are no longer together, it doesn't mean that I don't care about you or your family anymore.”

 

“I thought you were on your honeymoon. That's why I didn't call.”

 

She wouldn't have called him even if she knew he was back in Tokyo. No matter how much she needed him, she wouldn't have.

 

“Kagome…”

 

Suddenly, she felt arms around her, and before she knew it, Inuyasha was holding her close, sniffing her hair like he used to, and pressing her against him like he had done at the beginning of their relationship.

 

“Why did you marry him?”

 

Kagome froze.

 

“What?”

 

“If you had asked me for help, I would have given it to you. My marriage to Kikyo wouldn't have stopped me from helping you.”

 

Kagome pushed at his chest to see his face. She felt colder when far from him, but she couldn't think straight when he was so close.

 

“What?”

 

“You shouldn't have married him.”

 

And now, Kagome was mad. She stood up.

 

“You left me. You have no right to tell me something like that now.”

 

“I didn't mean to hurt you, Kagome. My connection with Kikyo... just happened, and I couldn't do anything to stop it.”

 

“Well, my thing with Sesshoumaru just happened too.”

 

Inuyasha stood up after her.

 

“I can't believe you would marry him just for money.”

 

The words were meant to hurt, and they both knew it.

 

Kagome looked down at the floor, frustration pulsing through her.

 

“You…you have no right to say something like that to me. I married him to save my brother. I married him because I have responsibilities. And I would never abandon them to go after a stupid impulse.”

 

“Kikyo is not an impulse.”

 

“Then why did you come back from your honeymoon earlier? Why are you here with me?”

 

Kagome knew that she was saying too much, but she couldn't stop herself. She had too many emotions bottled up, and they were brawling to come out. To her surprise, though, Inuyasha kept quiet. Kagome got closer to him. Too close, perhaps.

 

“Why are you here, Inuyasha?”

 

She couldn't handle this now.

 

“I…I…”

 

And as always with Inuyasha, he chose action instead of words.

 

He closed the distance between them, capturing her lips with his.

 

This…this…oh God, this…

 

Kagome was too surprised at first to know what to do, but her body remembered. It remembered what it felt like to be in his arms. Her eyes closed, and she leaned into the kiss. Inuyasha brought his hand to the back of her neck, pulling her closer.

 

Kagome held to his arms, afraid she would fall if she let him go. This was what she wanted and needed. She felt better in his arms. She felt like everything would be alright. It had been so long since she had kissed him…why hadn't she kissed him sooner?

 

Kagome's eyes snapped open, and she pulled away from him.

 

“This…this is wrong.”

 

Inuyasha held her face with his gaze, pressing their foreheads close.

 

“I keep thinking about you. It took a lot of Kikyo to take my mind away from you, and I don't know why because I swear I love Kikyo, but you…you keep coming to my mind…ever since I left you.. you have the spark that drove me crazy back at the beginning. You are the Kagome I fell in love with. Since you've been with my idiotic half brother, you are who you used to be. The determined, stubborn, strong Kagome. And it confuses me, and I don't know what I feel anymore.”

 

“You are mated with Kikyo.” Kagome whispered, it hurt to say it in anything more than a whisper. This was wrong. It wasn't right. She shouldn't have kissed him. She shouldn't be so close.

 

“You are married, and I am married, and what we once had is no longer alive.”

It destroyed her to say it to him.

 

“You still love me, Kagome.”

 

Kagome gently closed her eyes because it was true. She still loved him, except…except…it was different now.

 

“It doesn't matter anymore. We both made our decisions.”

 

“Screw that.”

Inuyasha kissed her again. Kagome tried to resist, but this was Inuyasha she was dealing with. She gave into the kiss, into him, her problems suddenly dissolving.

 

He deepened the kiss and Kagome suddenly felt the cold air become warmer…He was kissing her roughly, and his hands were at her waist, and it was exactly how she remembered, but it was also very different.

 

It had to stop.

 

It had felt right moments before, but now…now…it felt…He was still kissing her, but her mind was finding reasons for the kiss to feel wrong. She would have gasped if Inuyasha wasn't still kissing her.

 

“I am married to you. It is displeasure, but something necessary. Since I'm married to you, I'm complied to be faithful to you. Even if you are human, you are my wife, and I will not be with other women.”

 

Sesshoumaru had said that. Sesshoumaru was her husband. He would be faithful to her. She couldn't do this to him, no matter how much she disagreed with the youkai. She was surprised to find that she didn't want to cheat on Sesshoumaru. Strongly.

 

This time, she pulled away from him with force. When he tried to get closer to her, she stepped away.

 

“Inuyasha, you chose Kikyo. You can't have us both.”

 

He passed a hand through his hair. Funny, Sesshoumaru's silver hair was shiner.

 

“I want you both.”

 

“You love Kikyo.”

 

“That doesn't mean I don't want you.”

 

She would have killed to hear him say those words three weeks ago. Now it was too late, and his words didn't change what was real. They were both married to different persons. They could not be together. It didn't matter that her heart was yelling at her to take him. It didn't matter that her flesh already missed him.

 

“You can't have us both.”

 

“Kagome….”

 

“No, don't step any closer. I love you, Inuyasha. You know I do, but I can't be with you anymore. You chose it that way.”

 

“Kagome, if you love me…”

“Enough.” She said in a serious tone.

 

Then softer.

 

“You are such an idiot, Inuyasha.”

 

She looked at him straight in his golden eyes, always full of emotions. Right now, they shined with anger and want. Distress, lust and passion. But she didn't have the energy to go along with it. She didn't want to fall into his games. She had to end it. She couldn't keep torturing herself with what ifs. She had to get away from him.

 

She gave him one more small smile.

 

“You were everything to me, Inuyasha. From the beginning and to the end, there was no way in which I could describe how much I loved you. I didn't believe in anything but you, and you refused me. You were my voice. You were my home. In the middle of the solitude, you were a blessing. I would have made you my religion.”

 

`But something strange happened, and the fairy tale ended.'

She thought. `You said goodbye, and you broke my heart.'

 

It was becoming clearer that she had to get away from him.

 

“And if I don't forget you, Inuyasha...it is because of masochism.”

 

Her life was no longer with him, and the two of them would never be able to be together again. She turned, leaving him to face her back.

 

“I'll do us both a favor and keep away from you. But I promise you, Inuyasha, that one day I will forget you. I will stop loving you... so go to Kikyo because you can't be with me anymore.”

 

She walked away from him. Away from her happiness. Away from her everything. She did not look back.

 

----------

 

Kagome kept going and spinning corners until she was sure he couldn't follow her. She leaned against a wall. She had to find a doctor. She had to know what was happening with her brother. She needed to get her mind away from Inuyasha. She…

 

“Miko.”

She turned towards the ceaselessly cold voice.

 

“Sess…”

 

He sniffed.

 

“You reek of my half brother.”

 

Kagome gulped.

---

 

It wasn't that he cared. He truly didn't, and that feeling that was strangely close to jealously was not that. It was merely anger at smelling the scent of his half brother. His scent always made him mad. It had nothing to do with the fact that it was all over her. That was irrelevant. It didn't matter.

 

Except now, more than ever, he wanted to torture his half brother very slowly.

 

He also wanted to take the Miko away and give her a bath until his scent vanished and was replaced by hers.

 

Not that he liked hers. Not really. It annoyed him, but it was better than his half brother's.

 

“You were with him.”

 

She shifted, uncomfortable. “He came to see my brother.”

 

“He returned early?”

 

She nodded.

 

“And you called him here?”

 

He took a step closer to her. Like always, she stayed right where she was, not at all too intimidated.

 

Making her fearful of him lost Sesshoumaru's interest somewhere around the first week. He had discovered she was either too stubborn or stupid to fear him. Instead, he now argued with her till she was so mad she said incoherent things. He found that amused him more. A little part of his mind still told him that having a human not fear him was unbearable, but it was slowly disappearing.

 

Besides, he hated fearful people. If he was going to live with her for the rest of her life, and it was better she amused him.

 

This time, though, he felt her tense.

 

“I didn't call him.”

 

She wasn't lying, and it truly didn't matter if she had been with his half brother. Except her lips were a bit red and a little swollen, and she smelled of Hanyou. He would rather she smelled of himself.

 

The great Sesshoumaru had not just thought that. And since the thought was too… unconceivable, he chose to ignore it.

 

He gained his cold composure.

 

“Come.”

 

His eyes harder than ever... his voice chilling to the bone. He looked dangerous, and the people they passed by moved away from the two. The Miko was trying to keep up with him. Then, she stopped. He turned and raised an eyebrow.

 

“We…that is the exit. I can't leave. Souta…”

 

“I know about your brother's condition.”

 

“Then you know I have to stay here.”

 

Kagome was near shouting, close to becoming hysterical in her state. Her ample eyes shone bright with plead and worry and she felt her strength slowing draining.

 

“He is sick.” She continued, shakily.

 

“I have to be here in case something changes. He could…He could…”

 

Sesshoumaru clasped a hand against her mouth.

 

“Breath.” He ordered her, taking his hand from her mouth. She did as he told her.

 

“You can't do anything here.”

 

“I know that.” She spat at him. “I don't need you telling it to me.”

 

“You are not listening, Miko.”

 

“I am listening!”

 

“No, you are not.”

 

“But…”

 

“I said…” Sesshoumaru started, as if he was explaining something to a child,

 

“That you are not useful here. I didn't say that you were not useful at all.”

 

“I don't understand.”

 

“Obviously.”

 

“Hey, I don't need you to get all cocky right now.”

 

“Will you listen?”

Kagome opened her mouth but closed it. Sesshoumaru took this as a yes.

 

“We are going to the mansion. You will ask your maid to prepare your luggage. Tell her to pack warm clothes and that we will be leaving for two weeks.”

 

“Are you insane?” She shouted, stinging his sensitive ears. “I can't take a trip to God knows where only because you feel like it. I have to stay near my brother!”

 

The woman didn't know how to listen.

 

“I am not finished yet.”

 

“I do not care.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

She opened her mouth and closed it again. Sesshoumaru almost smirked.

 

“We are going to London.”

 

“What? Have you lost your mind?”

 

She just couldn't keep her mouth shut.

 

“I, unlike you, have not been sulking and wasting my time with my half brother. I have been trying to do something for your brother.”

 

She lowered her head, ashamed. Sesshoumaru, for the first time, didn't take glory in making her feel sad.

 

“I contacted some doctors in London. I'm taking your brother's medical record with us, and they are sending some doctors here to check on him. They are quite assured that in two weeks they'll have a solution for his problem.”

 

“But couldn't we send them the medical record?”

 

“We could, but if your brother needs to me translated over there, and it will be better if we are there as well. It'll make things smoother. Besides, I thought you'd like to put pressure them. You put enough on me.”

 

“What about your company?”

 

“My half brother can handle it for two weeks. I also have to check how the company in London is doing. People tend to be incompetent when not supervised.”

 

“…Sesshoumaru, I don't know how to thank you.”

 

He quickly turned away from her, not to let the Miko see his expression.

 

“You do not need to. I am merely doing my part of the contract.”