InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Twisted Hearts ❯ Hidden Feelings ( Chapter 16 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Twisted Hearts

Hidden feelings

“Sango, you would be lying if you said you did not enjoy this food.”

Sango blushed as she looked at the man across from her. Miroku was dressed in a suit, His face glowing by the candles on their table and his head resting on his hand. He wore a thoughtful gaze, and he refused to take his eyes away from her.

It unnerved her.

“Stop looking at me,” she told him.

Miroku merely smiled.

“Oh, but Sango. I cannot look anywhere else.”

She didn't know if she hated him for being so charming or if she liked him for it. Sango supposed she liked his attention when it was directed to her. The problem with Miroku was that he couldn't keep his eyes, mouth, and hands to himself. Or by any meansone self. Today his attention was on Sango. Tomorrow it could be on another woman who caught his eye.

He was such a womanizer.

Sango took a sip of her wine.

“I only agreed to come here because I had no choice.”

Miroku gave her his enigmatic smile. “Of course.”

It was the truth. She wouldn't be here if it wasn't for those three little monsters. By the way Souta had pestered her until she agreed to come; no one would think he was sick. Shippo, of course, had been insufferable until she had called Miroku to inform him that she was back from China.

She mumbled a “Baka” directed towards Miroku.

She had expected this from both of those two. They wouldn't be happy if they weren't making someone's life miserable, but Kohaku had surprised her. Where were the blood loyalties? He was supposed to be on her side. He should have helped her get out of this mess, but no, he had allied with Miroku.

Now she was here, in a very nice restaurant, waiting for dessert with him across from her, trying to suppress the emotion that kept rising to her cheeks.

“I notice you're a little red, Sango. Is it too warm for you?”

Sango glared at him, completely aware that everything he said had a double meaning. That didn't stop the blood rushing to her cheeks, making her even redder.

One day, she would kill Miroku.

Today, unfortunately, was not that day.

“Your dessert, Madam.” The waiter lowered Sango's chocolate cake before her before traversing to Miroku's side and placing his dish of flamed strawberries in front of him.

“Chocolate and strawberries, there is no better combination. It seems even our tastes want us together.”

He looked so secure, and Sango felt so shy. It had been a long time since someone had paid so much attention to her.

“In your dreams.” She replied.

No matter what she felt, she would not let him see it. She thanked her stars for not making him youkai; at least he could not smell out her actual feelings.

“You have to agree that the food is not the only thing you have enjoyed.”

His eyes were searching hers and for a moment she wondered if he had meant all the things he had been saying all evening long.

She shrugged it off.

She was a strong and successful woman. She dealt with youkai and hanyou everyday and they had far worse ways of living than Miroku did. She could handle this. She would handle this and she would not fall for his sweet nothings and charming stares.

“I know you too well, Miroku. Today you are with me. Tomorrow you are with someone else, and I simply refuse to be part of your collection.”

“Sango, you wound me. I would never think of you as part of my collection.” He brought a strawberry to his mouth.

“You could never be like any other woman.”

His eyes looked sincere, and Sango opened and closed her mouth. Trusting Miroku in this was foolish. She had known him even before Kagome and Inuyasha had started going out, and not once in all those years had his attitude changed towards women.

“You are not a man of one woman.” Sango reminded him.

“And I am not a woman that likes to share her man.”

It was the truth. Sango would not step off the cliff just to find out that he couldn't catch her because his hands were full of another twenty females.

He was a womanizer.

She kept repeating it to herself because it was the truth. She also did because she knew she could forget that fact if she didn't remind herself constantly.

Another problem with Miroku was that he could make you forget details like those when you were with him; he only had to look at you. He only had to talk to you. Sango couldn't decide if she liked that or not.

“Maybe I would be a man of one woman if I found the right one.” He said softly. Her attention snapped back to him. His eyes were shining with something that she couldn't identify, and he was looking at her with such an open expression that she could do nothing more than stare back at him.

“Give me another date, Sango.”

“I…”

“I can be only for you.”

And Sango knew this could only end badly because Miroku just didn't go out with one woman, and yet he was here, asking her for one chance. Sango thought everyone deserved one chance.

“One more date?”

“I will make you want more.” He smiled confidently at her, but she sensed his nervousness and it was this that led her to agree.

“We will see about that.” she said, smiling and eating a bit of her cake. He smiled back.

Sango found that she wanted to believe all that he had said to her tonight.

***

“Is she a good doctor?”

“Sesshoumaru ensured that she was. He said she was great.”

“He said someone was great?”

Sweat dropped as Kagome laughed nervously.

“Well no, not really. He said she was the best doctor for this kind of transplant and that she knew how to help before and after and…”

“He he thinks she is okay?”

“Well, he did give me a nod…”

“So we don't know if she is good enough?”

Kagome looked from her brother to her mother and then to Miroku and Sango. Kagome smiled at the couple. Yesterday they had their first date, and Kagome could already see Sango smiling happily and Miroku had not been moved far away from her today.

Maybe they didn't know it yet, but Kagome was sure they were perfect for each other. They would be happy. Her smile faded a little as she thought of her own situation but she quickly removed that thought away. Just because she hadn't been able to be happy with Inuyasha and because Sesshoumaru was a jerk most of the time, it did not mean that they couldn't be happy.

And Kagome, more than anything, wanted the people around her to be happy.

She brought her attention back to their discussion.

“Sesshoumaru would not let her operate is she was not the best.”

Of all things, she was certain of this. Sesshoumaru had promised to get Souta the best of doctors. He had promised to save her brother, and she believed him. She trusted him.

“He doesn't care about anything.” said her brother, and Kagome glared at him.

“He is doing his best to assure your health.” she snapped at him, not knowing why what Souta said bothered her.

“We will trust his decisions, and I don't want to hear another word about it.” she folded her arms and witnessed their reactions.

Her brother's eyes were bright and wide. Sango's mouth curved into a smile. Her mother was staring at her as if she knew something she didn't, the same way Miroku was currently looking at her.

“What?” she snapped. They all looked away.

“Nothing.” Sango mumbled.

“When is the doctor arriving?”

Kagome stole a look at her watch.

“She should be here any minute now and Souta, you better be nice to her. I heard you gave some problems to the other doctors. They are the best at what they do.”

“That doesn't mean they aren't arrogant.”

Kagome rolled her eyes at him. Miroku and her mother laughed.

“I'm sure that you will be fine.” said Miroku.

Just when Souta was about to disagree, there was a knock at the door. Kagome narrowed her eyes at her brother and murmured to him to behave. He stuck his tongue out at her. Kagome decided to let that one slip and went to the door.

“Hi, I'm Dr. Julia Melare.”

Kagome blinked at the woman in front of her. Her voice had this joyful tune and her stare were warm and inviting.

She was young to be such a renamed doctor. Kagome had thought she would be old and…ugly. The lady before her was not.

Her blond hair was long and brown eyes were big. The rest of her features were delicate, and she carried an air around her that screamed security. Kagome smiled at her.

She had to be very intelligent and capable as well if Sesshoumaru had decided to bring her in. Souta would have nothing to complain about.

“Hi there, I'm Kagome Higurashi. This is my mother, Sango and Miroku, and that one…”

Kagome pointed towards the bed.

“Is Souta.”

Dr. Julia smiled as her eyes caught Souta.

“Hello there. I suppose you are dying to get out of that bed.” Dr. Julia walked towards Souta.

She extended her hand towards him.

“We should get to know each other better since we are going to be working closely for the next few months.” Souta nodded.

“You should shake her hand.” Miroku told him.

Souta came back to life.

“I'm Souta.”

”I'm Julia, and don't worry about a thing. I'll help you with any problem you have, and we'll get you out of the hospital until it is time for the transplant. Boys like you need fresh air.”

Souta blushed and nodded.

“Somehow,” Miroku whispered in Kagome's ear.

“I don't think he'll have a problem working with this lovely lady.”

Sango slapped him on the head, and Kagome just shook her head at both of them.

***

`Be brave.' Kagome told herself for the hundredth time.

`This is not too difficult. It will be okay. The least he can do is...'

Kagome left the thought unfinished. She grimaced a bit. The least Sesshoumaru could do to her was…well, she supposed it varied in degrees.

If he was in a good mood, he would probably just laugh or in his case look amused and throw her out, telling her how stupid she was for even suggesting such a thing.

If he was in a not-so-good mood, he would yell at her and toss some insults before letting her go.

If he was a little mad, he would throw a lot of insults and push her out rather forcefully.

If he was very mad, he would glare at her than throw her out the window. Kagome held her laughter at the thought.

She still couldn't believe she had missed Inuyasha's splendid fall. It had been over three weeks, and the media was still all over it. Kagome stared the door in front of her again. If Sesshoumaru was more than mad…he would torture her to death. Then again, perhaps he would do it just because she was there...and existed.

Either way, she did not want to find out what mood he was in.

She had arrived late today. The museum had received some new items, and she had stayed very late checking on them. She could have left that for another day, but she had been too curious and impatient.

`I should have arrived sooner.' She thought. `Then I wouldn't be in this horrible mess.'

She had missed their late snack, something that had become more than their routine. In the mornings when they had breakfast, they were too sleepy and irritated to form a civilized conversation. She was not a morning person and surprisingly, he was even less of a morning person than she was.

It seemed he really took his sleep seriously. Anyway, breakfast was just not their time. Especially not at the shameful and torturous hour they woke up. No matter how lighter things were between them, they refused to change what they had already established. This left their midnight snacks as the only time in which they could actually…do something similar to conversing.

They fought and argued. They talked about books and politics and on rare occasions, their days. It didn't really matter. What mattered was that it was in these moments that they had gotten to know each other better.

Kagome could identify when he was amused because his eyes were the slightest bit warmer and his mouth wasn't straight as usual. When he was pleased with something, his eyes were more golden and his face didn't look quite as serious. And when he was angry, his eyes were like gold, beautiful and cold. In the few times that they had talked about their past, Sesshoumaru's eyes had darkened, but not in the dangerous way.

They darkened in the way that only someone who knew what suffering meant could. His eyes got a faraway look, and they would also look tired. Kagome always changed their course of conversation at that point. This, more than the anger, was a face that she did not like to see.

On the rare occasions that he was happy, his eyes were like the sun, luminous and captivating. His mouth, she had come to observe, formed the tiniest of smiles. It could be detected by almost no one. It had taken Kagome about half a month to find out about this. It was her favorite look because she knew very few people could see him like this.

In fact she was sure that even he didn't know he could look happy. Kagome smiled a little. Of course, Sesshoumaru's happy face was almost the same as his bored and very similar to his amused face.

She could identify them all without making mistakes between them. Sometimes, when he caught her staring at him, she ducked her head, so he wouldn't see the obvious blush that crept up her face. Other times, she kept staring at him until he gave her his amused smile. When he left, she always wondered why she couldn't stop watching him when they talked.

The first time she had seen him, she had thought that nothing good could come out of their marriage.

Except for her brother's life, of course.

He was cold and unfeeling, or at least that was what she had thought.

She knew better now.

Sesshoumaru was full of emotions. She had seen through his cold mask and discovered the Sesshoumaru that could feel. She now knew that he wasn't just the aloof, cold bastard he had given her the impression of being.

She was rather proud of herself.

She didn't know if he watched her as intensely as she did. Probably not. She was just someone that either amused or annoyed him, nothing more. It hurt Kagome to think this at times and she tried to avoid the thoughts like this.

And she should have been stirred clear of them now because she had missed their midnight snack and now stood in front of Sesshoumaru's door, close to having a panic attack. She couldn't just stand here all night.

Then again, she didn't want to risk her life. She didn't know if he cared that she had missed their meal. But he probably would if no one else had fed him. Then again, he might have just woken up a poor servant. But that was not the important part of the matter.

Kagome didn't know what mood Sesshoumaru was in and she didn't feel like dying tonight.

She would not knock on his door.

Kagome walked back to her room, her pillow dragging behind her. She walked through the entrance of her very blue room and closed the door behind her. She did not move from the spot where she stood. Looking down at her very lonely bed, she hugged herself, feeling the chill of the night.

“Bloody January nights”, she whispered, her breath visible due to the cold temperature.

“Bloody Sesshoumaru.” she said a little louder as she finally moved towards her bed.

Kagome climbed in quickly and pulled all the covers around her. She lay in a fetal position, trying to warm herself up. It didn't work. She was still freezing, and she could tell that she would be freezing all night long. There was no way around it. And if she was cold, she wouldn't be able to sleep and would be even drowsier in the morning. She would do an awful job at the University and even a worse job at the museum. Her whole day would be a total wreck.

Kagome stared at her ceiling.

It wasn't fair and it wasn't her fault.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid Sesshoumaru...”

It also wasn't just the fact that she was freezing to the bones.

She actually…

“Stupid, stupid, stupid youkai.”

She actually missed Sesshoumaru. She couldn't believe it, especially because he was but two doors away, but she missed his presence next to her at night. She had gotten used to him being there at London. It had only been two weeks, but it had felt right, and Kagome had to admit that she had never slept better than with him next to her.

She blushed and was glad no one could see her. She couldn't believe that she couldn't sleep because of this. She had never needed anyone by her side to sleep. It was just that…she felt safe when she was around him. She had never ever considered that possible. But if you really thought about it, it wasn't too unusual.

He was a powerful youkai that made people tremble. Being at his side knowing he wouldn't hurt you had to make you feel safe.

So she slept well next to him and slept really bad when she was not.

Just her luck.

Why couldn't she have married a normal human that wasn't so complicated and couldn't kill her before she even noticed he had moved?

Oh, yeah. Someone from above hated her.

But she still couldn't sleep, and she had waited until she couldn't take it anymore. She just needed to sleep well for one night.

Making up her mind, she got out of her bed and grabbed her pillow, walking determinately down the hall to Sesshoumaru's door. She stared at it.

And stared.

And sweat dropped.

She raised her hand to knock, and then his voice froze her in midair.

“Are you going to come in or are you going to continue annoying me?”

Kagome thought that the second option was actually better this time.

***

Sesshoumaru was tired of feeling her just outside his door. She wasn't moving or anything. She was just there.

He hated people that didn't make up their minds.

He also hated her for missing their late snack. How difficult could it be to be at home at 12 o'clock? Most people were at their homes much earlier.

He had had a very bad day. His secretary had lost some papers. He had fired her. His idiotic half brother had disappeared somewhere. He couldn't fire him, but he did consider throwing him out the window again. Instead he fired Inuyasha's secretary. If he had to find a new one, so would the hanyou.

Then his lunch had not tasted appetizing at all. He had passed part of the afternoon making calls so they would close that Godforsaken place that made such awful sandwiches. How hard could it be to make one damn decent sandwich? He had come home hungry and expecting the miko to already be preparing the food.

And she hadn't even been there.

Of course, he had known that before he entered the house. Her smell was clean from the air and her car hadn't been there. He didn't know why, but it had bothered him not to smell her when he arrived. He had gotten accustomed to her scent.

He had gotten accustomed to her presence.

None of it was right.

Another thing that was wrong was how irritable he had been since…since they came back from London. He couldn't sleep right, and he was always mad and had already fired many secretaries. He couldn't keep doing that. He had to find a solution to his problem even if he didn't know what his problem was yet.

He would find it, solve it, and go back to his nights of good sleep. He would also make sure that the miko paid for not attending him for their meal today. He had been hungry. He had to wake up the miko's personal maid to make him dinner. Her cooking wasn't as tasty as the miko's, but he had the feeling that if he fired her, the miko would just hire her again and yell at him until his ears couldn't take it anymore and exploded. He liked his ears, so she was spared her job.

That didn't mean that the miko would not suffer the consequences. He would make her understand that Sesshoumaru Taisho was always to be attended to, and she should never miss their snacks.

Because…he was hungry.

He didn't like to be hungry.

He also didn't like not being able to sleep.

Most of all, he didn't like arriving at home and not finding her there. It made him…worried.

Bad sleep was still at the top of his list.

He felt the miko move away from his door. He cursed in his head, not really knowing why.

It seemed that when it came to the miko, he didn't know many things.

Another thing to make her pay for.

Minutes passed, and he could still not go to sleep. He was tired and in a very bad mood. He had no decent meal all day long and the miko was irritating him even more because he could feel something bothering her and in an indirect way it bothered him. Some minutes later, he felt her come out of her room and seconds later she was again outside of his.

This was getting ridiculous.

The miko was just standing there, not making one move.

He would've killed her if she wasn't his wife.

She continued to stand there.

Sesshoumaru had always wanted to know if he could get away with absolute murder. Maybe this was the perfect time to find out.

“Are you going to come in or are you going to continue annoying me?”

She paused, and then she opened the door slowly. It only irritated Sesshoumaru more. Why was she hesitating so much? She was usually very confident. Perhaps she had finally realized that she should fear and respect him. He fixed his eyes on her. She was carrying a blue pillow, and she was biting her bottom lip. She looked uncertain. She was nervous. There was not a trace of fear. Sesshoumaru frowned and raised one perfect eye brow at her.

“I, well…you see…hehe…”

Sesshoumaru couldn't tell what she was trying to say. Maybe she had finally lost it and this was her way of showing it. He had heard that too much pressure could do that to humans.

“What are you trying to so coherently say, miko?”

Her blue eyes flashed through him.

“I'm cold.” She said.

This didn't answer any of his questions.

“Why would that be my problem?”

“How can someone so rich not have a heater system? It's the middle of January. It's freezing.”

“Youkai resist cold weather better than humans, and there is a fireplace in all the rooms. Maybe if you turned yours on it would be warmer.”

Her eyes went to the fireplace. She obviously hadn't paid enough attention to her room or any other room because she looked at it as if she had just discovered it. That was surely her case.

“You were freezing in London just like me... and I don't know how to use a fireplace!”

“Servants fire those things. You are the lady of the house and you have a personal maid. Couldn't you ask her to do it for you?”

“Well, I didn't know there was a fireplace.” She muttered quietly. Sesshoumaru heard her, but he decided to become deaf.

“What did you say? I couldn't catch it.”

”I said I didn't know there was a fireplace, and I know you hear better than a dog.”

“I'm a dog demon.”

“…I knew that.”

“Of course.”

“I did know it.”

A small grim appeared on his face.

“I believe you.”

He could tell the miko knew he didn't. He felt her irritation.

“Well, if that was all, you can get out of my room. I need my sleep.”

She hesitated and then went to the door, but she stopped before leaving.

“Actually…”

“What is it now?”

“I can't sleep well.”

“Why is that my problem?”

Funny, he couldn't sleep well anymore either.

She pointed a finger at him.

“It is your fault. I could sleep on my own until you took me to London.”

His eyebrow rose again.

“I have done nothing to make you sleep badly.”

“I don't care. I can't sleep, and it is your fault.”

“What would be the solution to your problem?”

“…let me sleep with you.”

She said it in a very low voice, almost a murmur. Her bangs covered her eyes, but he could see her cheeks get pinker and her hands clasped together. She smelled nervous and shy. It made him want to…reassure her.

Reassuring people was not in his nature.

“You want to sleep in my bed?”

“Well…” Her bangs still covered her eyes.

“We are married, so it would be the normal thing to do if…if we were a real couple. I know we are not, but I can't sleep. It's been two weeks of horrible dreams and long nights and just…just say yes or no.”

Sesshoumaru looked at her intently for some time. He hadn't been able to sleep since they had gotten back from their trip. He had never considered her presence the source of his bad nights, but now he saw that this might be his solution to his problems.

No more long nights. No more fired secretaries. No more…he almost smiled.

“I will let you sleep here on one condition.”

The miko's head snapped up in surprise as if she had never thought he would agree to this.

Once, he would not have agreed to this at all.

“What is the condition?” she said carefully.

“You have to be here every single night to make my midnight snack.”

“That is it?”

”It's obviously too much for you because you weren't here today. I almost fired your maid. She cannot cook at all.”

“You fired Yuri?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

“…”

”Well, what do you say, miko? I'm tired. I do not feel like spending more time talking to you.”

She glared at him.

“I only have to be here every day before you get home, and you'll let me sleep with you in here?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

She happily ran to his bed and climbed in, bringing her pillow with her. She offered him her pinky.

“It's a deal.”

He looked at the pinky.

“A deal.”

“Oh, come on, you have to shake my pinky with yours.”

“I will do no such thing.”

“Why not?”

“It is undignified. If you want an official transaction, we will do it tomorrow on paper.”

She folded her arms.

“You are no fun.”

“And you are too much of a human.”

“That would be because I am a human.”

“A bad thing about you that cannot be changed, unfortunately.”

“Oh, shut up.”

“This is my room. This is my house. I can say whatever I want.”

”It's my house, too, and it will be my room.”

“I thought you were only going to sleep here?”

She shrugged. “It'll be easier if I move in.”

“I did not give you permission to do such a thing.”

“I did not ask for it.”

He narrowed his eyes at her.

“Your mistake.”

“Oh, come on Sesshoumaru. Think about it.” she smiled sweetly at him.

He didn't buy that innocent look for a second.

“No.”

”Please?”

“Why did you bring your pillow? I have plenty of pillows here.”

“Your room is too gold, and I like my pillow.”

”My room is gold because I like gold.”

“I like blue. We will have to change some things.”

“We are not changing anything because you are not moving in.”

She dismissed him with a wave of her hand.

“Whatever you say, Sesshoumaru.”

She rolled over and went to sleep, Sesshoumaru staring at her. A small part of his head told him that this was wrong, and he should be mad at her for defying him.

Another told him to shut up and go to sleep because this was the solution to his problem.

He ignored both. He looked at the miko one last time with hard eyes.

She would be the end of him.

---