InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Twisted ❯ Mistake Tuly Gone Awry ( Chapter 3 )

Twisted

 

 

Summary: AU. She wanted him to give her what he couldn't, anymore. So instead she settled for less, knowing whose fault it truly was.

 

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha and I make no money from this story.

 

A/N: WARNING: Sexual situation you might not enjoy.

 

 

Chapter 3 - Mistake Truly Gone Awry

 

 

She could hear his increasing confusion through the phone.

 

“Sure, let me get home,” Inuyasha said, as if brushing off his own thoughts.

 

“No,” Kagome snapped, perhaps too quickly, perhaps too tersely. She could easily envision his eyes narrowing in suspicion. “Let's…” She trailed off, raking her mind for an appropriate place for delivering her decision. It couldn't be home. No; there they'd be surrounded by memories, by mutual agreements, feelings - things she'd lost. “Go to Moni's.” She figured a neutral pub with lots of privacy would do perfectly. If only she could ignore the furiously pounding organ in her chest…

 

Instead of asking why as she knew he was inclined to, he said, “All right. I'll meet you there in twenty.”

 

Twenty minutes. Only twenty minutes and her life would change forever. She was nervous, but it was normal in such circumstances, so if she stumbled a bit while getting dressed, it was because of her weakened knees, and if her hands kept shaking, her racing emotions held all the blame.

 

She got there, but Inuyasha had yet to come. It was a relief, because a few more minutes would give her enough time to prepare herself emotionally for his reaction. Would he be okay with it? Would he be mad? She was inclined to think the latter was the likely feedback she'd get.

 

The calming chamomile tea the waiter brought was perfect.

 

A couple of heaving breaths later, as her lips were lightly pressed to the rim of the tea cup, Inuyasha appeared in front of her, taking a seat and looking as ruffled and sexy as ever. Sadly, it no longer affected her in any way.

 

“Hey,” he said with a tentative smile which she returned.

 

“Hi,” was her weak reply, before she realized she had to suck it up. She took a discreet sip of the wonderfully hot liquid as Inuyasha ordered himself a coffee - he looked quite tired, something she could always tell - then took a deep breath to calm her flailing nerves before figuring out how to tell him. She'd thought of so many words, so many speeches, yet none seemed appropriate now. It was best to go from the heart.

 

She shouldn't beat around the bush, but she couldn't just blurt it out like that.

 

“Inuyasha, I… called you here because I think I needed an impartial place to say this. I've been meaning to tell you this for a while, but I wanted to make sure what I was feeling was really unchangeable. I fought against it; I did, but…”

 

His eyes hardened when he interrupted her, leaning over the table just slightly to look her in the eyes seriously. “Are you cheating?”

 

That was Inuyasha. Always to the point.

 

“What? No!” she answered quickly, appalled that he even thought her capable of such a revolting thing. She would never cheat on anyone. Faintly, she noticed the way his features softened in guarded relief; he loved her. He truly loved her, and dear God, why did it suddenly feel like someone had shoved their boot down her throat? It was suddenly so much harder to speak.

 

He sighed - a long, heavy reverberation, laced with what sounded like fatigue. He really did look tired. “Then what is it?”

 

Another intake of breath, another tiny stop in the so-called regular pattern of her rapidly beating heart. Remembering what she'd thought about beating around the bush, this time she decided to just spill it, otherwise he'd grow really frustrated.

 

“I don't love you anymore.”

 

It might have come awkward, but she didn't care. By the way his eyes widened just slightly and his lips parted in a trademark sign of surprise, Kagome knew he was aware of how serious she was. For a moment she thought his eyes were moistening, but she couldn't tell for sure, so instead she focused on his furrowing brows. It didn't seem like he was angry, just really, really hurt as he turned his head away. She didn't know what to expect.

 

“Oh, really?” He sounded utterly defeated. “And you just realized that now?”

 

“I told you-” Kagome stopped for a second, realizing she was getting quite worked up and it wasn't ok. She had to be calm and understanding. He was surely hurting right now, and not for the first time she wished she could share his pain. She took a deep breath. “I told you it took me a while to accept it. I just… there's nothing there for me anymore, Inuyasha.”

 

“Are you sure?” he asked, his tone somewhat pleading. It broke her heart to hear his faint, almost silent whimper, the first indication that his voice was cracking. “Not even when I do this?” He leaned over the table in a gentle attempt to kiss her, but Kagome turned her head away, forcing his lips to land on her cheek instead.

 

“Don't do that, Inuyasha. I've had a lot of time to find out that your touch is not what I need, anymore.”

 

A sting so strange and numb seized her insides when she read the pain in his eyes, the rejection he felt, the loneliness. She knew his childhood had been a difficult one, with no friends to care for him and accept him as even his family members ignored him, except his mother. Her denial of shared feelings and promises now wounded him deeper than she could ever truly comprehend.

 

“Inuyasha-”

 

“It's okay,” he cut her off, shaking his head.

 

“But I-”

 

“It was to be expected,” he mumbled, his voice sounding unsurprisingly bitter.

 

“No, it's not like that. I just… love fades, Inuyasha. It's reality.”

 

“My love for you hasn't faded,” he countered gruffly, but when he noticed she was about to reply, he brushed her off with a shake of his head. “No, don't say it. It's whatever. I'm just glad you didn't lie to me.”

 

Kagome was tempted to allow a smile to come through, but she didn't. The fact that he was even remotely grateful to her for not having prolonged this suffering made her feel guilty that she couldn't love him anymore.

 

“So…” This was becoming awkward. The dreaded question of, `Can we still be friends?' swam through her mind, though she lacked the courage to voice it. But Kagome forgot that Inuyasha knew her so very well, inside out.

 

“I don't know right now… I have to get away for a while, but yeah, we can still be friends.” He tried a smile but couldn't make it seem real, so he settled for a slight pursing of his lips. His life would change now, and he didn't have the energy and optimism to believe it would be for the best. As it was, Kagome was everything to him.

 

“You should go study in Europe, Inuyasha,” the woman advised softly, a gentle expression on her face.

 

“Maybe I will,” he nodded.

 

“It's your dream.”

 

He fought away the curt reply of `Not anymore' and nodded instead. He seemed to be doing that a lot, what with his trembling voice. A trip to Europe, though, sounded just perfect.

 

 

 

Kagome hurried to hide the discarded clothes from her floor. It was on a short notice that Sango had asked her to let her cousin, Kouga, sleep at her place for a couple of days, until she and her husband, Miroku, would get home from a trip abroad. Kagome knew Kouga; he was a sweet guy, though Inuyasha hated his guts for some reason. His stay wasn't an issue, especially since she had a very comfy living room couch he could use, and Inuyasha wasn't home.

 

The thought brought a mysterious pang to her heart, though she ignored it, as she'd done for the past month. She had no idea where he was; last she'd heard he'd just got in Switzerland, and she felt so confused and conflicted. Why wasn't he coming back? Had breaking up been such a hard blow on him?

 

The door bell rang and she had to quickly dispel all her straying thoughts before she answered. In front of her stood an uncomfortable-looking Kouga with his luggage. She invited him in and he smiled at her gratefully after the greetings.

 

“So… you and Inuyasha broke up?”

 

“We did,” she replied simply, not wanting to relieve the moment. A simple nod was Kouga's feedback and she thought nothing of his silence as they made their way into the kitchen, where Kagome served him her famous pasta and he complimented her on her fabulous cooking skills.

 

A few other compliments and blushes later, they found themselves on the couch with glasses of wine in their hands, looking - but not quite paying attention - at a family movie they found on TV. Kouga was awfully concentrated, but Kagome, again, didn't ponder on it.

 

“You know… I've always liked you,” he declared unexpectedly.

 

His statement brought a strange feeling through her body - a bizarre mixture of attraction and reluctance. Now she understood why Inuyasha had never liked this guy; he'd probably realized Sango's cousin liked her, though Kagome had to give Kouga extra points for not pursuing someone else's girlfriend when she was taken.

 

“I don't mean to sound rude, but I'm glad you two broke up.”

 

Was that why he was there? Was Sango trying to set her up…?

 

Swallowing nervously, Kagome didn't know what to say. What did you say to a man that had just confessed his attraction to you?

 

She took another gulp of the delectable red wine. And then another. And when she got a tad lightheaded she realized her inhibitions had lessened considerably. Still, the decision to return the sudden kiss Kouga initiated was hers completely. There was a fierce battle raging inside her mind, as she was not accustomed to any other touch than Inuyasha's. She was used to his fingers, his probing tongue, so when Kouga pushed his moist and slick appendage into her mouth she nearly stopped. But she egged herself on, knowing that she needed this. She needed a distraction to forget about the guilt, about the contradictions she had been plagued with ever since the break up. Inside, she knew she didn't want to admit it - she wasn't ready to admit it - but she actually missed Inuyasha. Just a bit. Though it was probably out of habit, she reasoned, since being with him had always been second nature to her.

 

Now everything happening to her was part of a transition to this new life.

 

These thoughts made her ignore the fact that she was in the house she and Inuyasha had bought together and focus on Kouga's touch instead. His lips were scorching, his caresses gentle, as if he wanted to cherish her. Personally, she preferred the fervent ardor Inuyasha had always engulfed her in; the sizzling passion, as if she was about to be devoured.

 

Her eyes snapped wide at the course her mind had taken and she shook her head as if to clear it of traitorous thoughts. With renewed endeavor, her tongue trailed down Kouga's now exposed chest and she shivered when he removed her clothing. Thinking it appropriate to return the gesture, Kagome struggled with his jeans, and soon they were both equally bare and ready. She fought the urge to wince in emotional discomfort when he entered her, the thrusts he gave, though pleasurably slow and hard, making her want to crawl out of her skin. The wrongness of the act echoed inside her brain and slithered up her spine like a slimy serpent, but she kept going, kept bucking against him, pretending she didn't want Inuyasha to be the one pushing inside her, claiming her flesh.

 

She bit her lips almost at the point of drawing blood and a whine escaped her lips, though Kouga thankfully took it as a pleasure-induced moan. He couldn't know of the epiphany she was experiencing, the realization that perhaps she had seen things incorrectly. Maybe it had been a temporary loss of attraction. Maybe she should have fought harder, tried harder. Perhaps she'd focused too much on the physical attraction to Inuyasha that she had lost while the deep feelings for him had remained there, hidden.

 

Perhaps she'd made a mistake.

 

They didn't have the chance to finish, though, because the sound of the door opening froze them completely. Kagome's heart was trying to beat right out of her chest, knowing who was the only one who had keys to the apartment; Inuyasha was back.

 

Dread filled her to the toes and she couldn't even move - Kouga wasn't much swifter, either - so her ex-boyfriend caught them in the most compromising position of all on the couch they had done the same so many times before.

 

The disgusted shock that darkened Inuyasha's features made Kagome want to cower into herself, becoming as small and invisible as possible. She pushed Kouga off her and quickly put on the first items of clothing that came in sight, trying to recover the decency she'd lost.

 

She realized now how it must look. And in their house, no less.

 

“Not cheating, huh?” he spat out venomously, disdain clearly coating his words.

 

Kagome didn't even bother to contradict him - she deserved his contempt, because there could never be anything lower that she could have done. And the worst was - she realized she'd made a mistake. A mistake she could never atone for.

 

“You're despicable,” he told her and tears dampened her eyes. She didn't let them fall.

 

Inuyasha took a short look at a now fully dressed Kouga, resisting the urge to redesign his ugly mug.

 

But he proved utter self-control when all he did was frown and address Kagome.

 

“I hate you.” She shivered from the sincerity of the simple words, but waiting for him to finish. “I want my share of this house, so you're going to have to agree to sell it.”

 

Kagome nodded; he did the same before going and packing all his remaining clothes in a big suitcase wordlessly. In the end, he left her behind a complete mess, crying for lost chances.

 

 

A/N: Hate her? You shouldn't, because things like this happen in real life, I promise. It's a fact, and it should be taken as such. Now that you got the reason, I hope you'll be eager for the next chapter. Reviews are always appreciated.