InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Two Mikos ❯ Crossroads ( Chapter 5 )

Disclaimer: Kikyo and Kagome are the creations of Rumiko Takahashi.

Crossroads

"Your defense is showing good signs of improvement, copy. Though what you have learned is only for when you are attacked physically. Do you have any knowledge of how magic can be used against someone's mind?"

How odd. Kikyo had complimented her. And from the daily sparring sessions the undead miko had put her through, Kagome knew that her former incarnation was not one for being nice.

"No I have not, Kikyo-sensei."

"Look at me."

She looked up into the other miko's dark eyes.

Suddenly, she was no longer looking at Kikyo, but watching Sango fight Kagura and Kohaku. She couldn't hear anything, but could see Sango speaking, pleading with the young boy to fight Naraku's influence, to regain control of himself.

Kagome tried to speak, to call out to the woman she knew was dead, to prevent what she knew would happen next.

Kohaku's eyes were lifeless as he attacked Sango. Sango was blocking the attacks, but made no move to fight back, instead concentrating her attacks on the wind-user watching the two battle.

Kagome watched with horror as Kohaku's weapon embedded itself into Sango's back. Kagura's form blurred as she pulled her fan back to release her winds upon the two. And instead of Kagura standing there, it was herself, pulling back a glowing pink arrow to release into Sango's chest, open as it was from Kohaku's attack.

"NO!" she yelled. "That's not what happened!"

The arrow flew truly, and Sango fell backwards into Kohaku's arms, his eyes no longer lifeless, and looking horrified up at Kagome. Another glowing arrow shot forth, and the eyes became dull again, and he fell backwards too.

"I didn't kill them!" she shouted at her image. "I wasn't there! I didn't even find her until it was too late! I didn't kill her!"

The vision disappeared.

"Of course you didn't kill her, copy. Kagura is responsible for that. Why would you think you killed her?"

Kagome rubbed her eyes with her hands, and stared at Kikyo. A waking dream?

"Do you really think so highly of yourself that you think everything happens because of you, copy? You really are a fool."

"I don't think highly of myself, Kikyo-sensei. I'm a terrible person," she whispered. "She died in my arms, and I did nothing to help her. It's my fault she died."

"You just said you didn't kill her."

It was just like with the little fox they had found. She had sat beside it, comforting its last moments, and Kikyo had killed it. But Kagome could have used her magic to heal the broken animal, so it was her fault it had died.

"You are being selfish. You think you deserve responsibility for everything that happens. A truly humble person knows when to let others take responsibility. Your taijiya friend was the master of her own fate, and you lessen her death with your self-pity, self-recrimination, and selfishness. She chose her death, and if you continue to blame yourself for it, I will make you join her."

Kagome watched the other miko walk away, the chimes on her staff clinking their usual mournful melody.

Selfish, to blame herself for Sango's death? But she was the one who kept giving Sango hope that Kohaku could be saved, and Kohaku killed her. Kohaku and Kagura. And Kagura wouldn't even exist were it not for the fact that Kagome had allowed Naraku to gain hold of her jewel shards.

But if she continued along that line, wasn't everything the Shikon no Tama's fault? But it was Kagome's responsibility to guard it. That still meant it was her fault everything had happened.

Was she really being selfish for wanting to take the blame? Why couldn't she just say everything was the jewel's fault and leave it at that?

The jewel was her responsibility. The jewel cursed everyone it came in contact with.

It was Kagura who had landed the final blow upon Sango. She was not responsible for Kagura's actions. Kagura killed Sango. She didn't kill her friend. She hadn't abandoned her to fight her brother by herself. Sango had ordered them not to come, that Kohaku was her responsibility and hers alone. And Kohaku had helped to kill her.

Would her charge kill her as well? Or did she accept others help in destroying it, in chasing down her responsibility. Sango had gone after Kohaku alone. She had made her decision, and Kagome realized she was belittling the slayer for blaming herself for Sango's choice.

But did she chase down the Shikon no Tama alone, or did she get help?

She had had help. But they had been overcome- Miroku to his kazaana, Shippo to the dragon, Sango to her brother, and Inu-Yasha to yet another puppet. There was only Kikyo.

Kikyo had come to her for help in destroying Naraku. If the isolated and aloof miko could come down off her high horse long enough to admit she needed help, Kagome could do the same with her guilt long enough to see she was being a little too hard on herself.

Kikyo had been waiting for something through all their practices, sparrings, teachings. Had it been this realization, that the world did not rest on her shoulders, even if she did bear some responsibility?

She stood back up. Now. The wait was over.