InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Two Worlds One Love ❯ Abandoned ( Chapter 19 )

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN INUYASHA

 

 

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update. I hope the wait was worth it. . . Happy reading! ^_^

 

 

***********

 

Kagome walked along the street in silence. The only sound that could be heard, we're under her feet as the autumn leaves crunched and cracked under each step. The sun was warm but the air was cool on that fine October afternoon. The occasional car drove past sending golden leaves flying about like soaring butterflies.

 

On any other given day Kagome would have been enjoying the beauty around her. She loved fall with a passion. She loved the beauty of the transition of this wonderful season. It was amazing how the leaves turned into such incredible colors before departing their home on the branches of trees. She thrived in taking a walk through the leaves once they were long since fallen from those branches onto the ground, loved the feel and sound of them crunching under her feet as she walked. She couldn't help but relish in the sight of the autumn leaves covering the ground paving a golden road ahead of her. It was all so incredible and yet . . . She couldn't enjoy any of it. Not when her heart, mind, and soul was somewhere else, somewhere with Inuyasha.

 

Kagome missed him terribly and couldn't help but ache for him in everyway. Taking a walk didn't help like she hoped it would. Even the marvel of the autumn season couldn't break her out of this depressed and lonely state she was trapped in. She had become even closer with Inuyasha in the passed couple of months and it was only hurting her more to be away from him than ever before. Their connection—spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical—had only grown stronger over the time they spent together.

 

Kagome felt like a whole that had been torn into two and now she was only a walking half. She was now only an incomplete person. She felt like a lost soul striving to find its way to the light beyond the tunnel of darkness. Inuyasha was that light but he hadn't come back for her like he promised, so Kagome was stuck in the dark.

 

As she wondered aimlessly among the sidewalk she wondered how long it would be until she found any kind of sunshine again. She had longed for him once before and found him only by sheer luck and destiny. Now she feared she wouldn't be so lucky again. Possibly never even see Inuyasha's face again . . .

 

Six years she had waited and yearned for him, now she feared she'd have to wait an eternity or more in order to ever be in his presence again.

 

Feeling hopeless and emotionally lost Kagome turned back the way she came and headed for home.

 

************

 

Kagome stood up from the bathroom floor with a groan. She had been kneeling in front of that toilet for the last ten minutes. She was tired of puking. Trying to eat toast that morning didn't help, as she hoped. She threw that up too. This flu was proving to last longer than she thought and it was keeping her locked in her apartment constantly.

 

Hojo has been calling and inviting Kagome to lunch but she hasn't' been able to get over her puke fest. So again and again she declined and promised for a further lunch date. Hojo being Hojo was completely understanding about it.

 

Kagome walked into the living room to answer the light knock on her door. Her mom stood there with a smile and a warm, comforting hug. Kagome allowed her mother in and closed the door. Her mother sat on the kitchen table as Kagome made them a pot of tea. It was Kagome's favorite lavender green tea, but she doubted she would be able to keep it down.

 

After serving tea and cookies Kagome sat across from her mother on the small square table. They chatted a bit of this and that. Kagome's mom informed her that her grandfather was doing much better and let her know that Sota was doing well in school. Her mother grew serious.

 

“And how have you been, dear,” she asked Kagome.

 

Kagome looked down and fiddled with a cookie. She assumed her mother was asking more about her emotional state than anything else. But Kagome only answered toward her physical self. “I've been sick for the past couple of weeks. I didn't think it would last so long. And when I eat . . . I just can't seem to keep anything down.”

 

Kagome's mother reached across the table and gently laid her hand on top of Kagome's. “Well of course not dear, you're pregnant.”

 

Kagome's eyes snapped up so quickly they almost made a sound in the silent kitchen. “W-what?”

 

“Oh, dear. You didn't know?” Kagome's mother gave a small laugh. “My baby's having a baby.” Her eyes filled with tears.

 

“No, mom—”

 

“Oh, Kagome don't be so naïve. I was able to tell that you were pregnant for about two weeks now. I just thought you were choosing to keep it a secret so I didn't say anything until now.”

 

Kagome's eyes were about to pop out of her head she widened them so much.

 

“I'm guessing you're three to four months along. You'll need to get to the doctor as soon as possible to get proper treatment.”

 

“But-but—” Kagome stuttered.

 

“No buts, young lady. This baby comes first now. And as soon as Inuyasha comes back—”

 

“He's not,” Kagome interrupted.

 

“What?” Her mother looked as puzzled and confused as Kagome had first felt when she realized he wasn't coming back.

 

Kagome sighed and stood slapping he hands to her thighs. She turned and paced a little. “He's not coming back, Mom.” She ran her fingers through her hair. “He lied. He promised he'd come back . . . but . . . he lied.” She dropped despairingly back down into her chair and placed her face into her hands as if to stop the tears from coming.

 

Her mom kneeled down to her and pulled Kagome's hand away from her face. Kagome looked at her mom, her nose red and eyes full of tears.

“Oh, Kagome I'm sorry dear. But if that boy is foolish enough to want to stay away than it's his loss.”

 

Kagome looked down in disagreement. Her mother gently grabbed her chin and met her gaze. She spoke softly.

 

“I can understand how much you're hurting, Kagome. A broken heart never seems to mend easily or quickly, but you'll get through this.” She smiled. “And now you're taking care of two. And this baby, boy or girl, will consume your entire world.”

 

Kagome stared at her mom unable to speak. The force of that new reality was as frightening as it was overwhelming. She hugged her mom tightly not wanting to let go. She longed to be a little girl again where her world consisted of playing with dolls and imaginary friends. So she clung to her mother in hopes of feeling safe and loved as she did then. A time when she didn't feel so . . .alone.

 

She knew she had her family. They were all tight knit and there for each other through thick and thin. And for that Kagome was thankful. But the one she needed the most now, the one who should be sharing this experience with her wasn't here. Nor was he coming back.

 

Kagome and her mom cried and talked more until it finally got late and the sun began to set. They said their goodbyes and hugged tightly once more. After locking up behind her mother Kagome went and lied on the couch. She felt emotionally and physically exhausted as she closed her eyes. A nap would do her well, at least she hoped it would. She would go to the doctors tomorrow and find out what needs to be done. She was new at this and knew nothing of what to expect.

 

Which should have been obvious, at the fact that Kagome didn't even think much of her lack of periods the passed few months other than assuming her stress played a role in it all.

 

 

Kagome let her thoughts roam to Inuyasha. Would he have come back had he known she was pregnant? Kagome shook her head not wanting to accept that that's the only reason he'd come back for her. Thinking of him and only him, Kagome fell into a surprisingly comfortable sleep.

 

***********

 

Inuyasha woke in a panicked sweat. He jumped down from the tree he occupied for the night and walked to the lake. He cupped his hand and gathered some cool water in his palm. He squatted down next to the lake and sipped the cold, refreshing liquid.

 

He then splashed a little onto his face to cool off. He didn't understand why he awoke so abruptly and sweaty. The night air was cool and Inuyasha suspected a snow storm was coming soon. Doubting he could go back to sleep, Inuyasha lied down on the cool grass and folded his arms underneath his head. There were hardly any stars visible since a blanket of white clouds filled the night sky.

 

The beautiful lights the clouds reflected from the moon reminded him of Kagome's pale skin. Damn it all to hell! He couldn't stop thinking of her. He thought, dreamed, breathed her every damn day and night. Her scent had disappeared from his body and clothes months ago. He'd give his own life to get it back, to have her heavenly sweet smell fill his senses once more.

 

He missed her desperately, her touch, taste, smell, and essence. Inuyasha sometimes swore he heard her crying out for him at night or hear her whisper his name in mid morning. He thought he'd be okay not having her, Perhaps even lost his constant need for her.

 

But he should have known better. He'll never be able to get her out of his system no matter how many days, months, or years pass. She was infused into his system, his very being and there was just no escaping that. He kept beating himself up over his decision to send her back for good. But what choice did he have? Keeping her away from her family and all she knows was not an option. And going back and forth with the Shikon jewel was not safe for either of them. The damn thing has become a burden upon which he no longer wanted. The occasional battle with demons over the friggin' thing was becoming annoying.

 

All he used to care about was becoming a full fledge demon to prove something to himself as well as others. Now nothing mattered or existed to him but Kagome. Their connection that they shared from the very beginning remained as thick as ever.

 

He would give anything to be with her again. Hell he'd give his demon part of himself to—

 

And an epiphany hit him like a rock upside his head and he was going in search of that old hag, Kaede tomorrow.

 

But for now he let himself drift off to sleep. And the only person he could think of was her . . . Kagome.

 

***********

 

Six months later

 

Kagome sat on the wooden park bench to await Hojo. He was supposed to meet her here for a picnic. Kagome leaned back and was thankful for the moment to rest her aching, and not to mention, swollen feet. But it's not like she could see them anyway since her tummy bulged out so much in front of her.

 

At nine months Kagome's belly was huge. It looked as though she swallowed a water melon. Besides her round face and swollen feet everything else seemed to have remained thin. Though Kagome often wondered and thought her hips and butt have also expanded. But every time she asked Mom, Sota, Grandpa, or Hojo they'd just smile and tell her how radiant she looked. Kagome didn't buy a word of it. She felt like a cow, a big, hungry, tired cow.

 

Kagome sighed as she wiggled her toes in her flip flops sandals. She felt content besides the fact that she felt like a whale. She had accepted her unexpected motherhood with surprising ease. The thought of having a child was no longer unnerving and scary anymore. She was glad to play the role which fate had handed her.

 

And as much as it hurt at the same time it made her happy to know that Inuyasha's baby was growing inside of her. That this part of him this most loving part of him would be with her always. She cried less and less for him now but the pain would never subside completely. His betrayal still stung as bad as it did the day she realized he was not coming back. But Kagome wasn't bitter she realized. No, just saddened with a broken heart, a heart that longed for Inuyasha. And as much as she might have wanted it, she would never stop loving him.

 

Her heart would remain his for all time. And she would never forget, nor did she want to, his face, touch, smirks, smell and she thought with a laugh, his temper. No, he branded her for life and she would always be his.

 

Kagome's stomach gurgled with hunger and she hoped Hojo would arrive soon with the picnic food. They had spent lots of time together in the last six months. Hojo loved doting on her. And truth be told Kagome didn't mind being doted on.

 

The only thing that bothered her was the fact that he was treating her like glass. She wanted to scream at him and explain that she was pregnant not helpless. But his heart was in the right place and that kept her from exploding on him most of the time. Poor Hojo was the only one who felt the wrath of her mood swings since they were together so often. Though Kagome felt bad for him she enjoyed the company. It helped her cope with loneliness a little better . . . most of the time.

 

Kagome looked around. It was the perfect spring day for a picnic. The sun was shining brightly, the blue sky nearly cloudless and a sweet breeze filled the atmosphere gently. Kagome watched and listened to children playing in the park and gazed at the people walking by, chatting with one another. There were lots of trees in the park that caused a lot of cool shade and release from the warm sun. Flowers were in full bloom and filled the air with a soft fragrance.

 

Just as Kagome was enjoying the lovely spring scenery Hojo walked up, picnic basket and blanket in hand. He wore a soft smile on his face only for Kagome.

 

Kagome smiled in welcome. “Hi, Hojo.”

 

“Hello my dear Kagome. Shall we find a nice spot upon the grass to picnic?”

 

Kagome stood up, belly first. “That sounds great.”

 

Hojo gently took her arm and led her to a nice grassy spot near a tree that was half sun half shade. “How's this?” he asked.

 

“Perfect,” said Kagome in response.

 

Hojo helped Kagome sit down upon the blanket on the grass. She fought back rolling her eyes and shaking her head. He was so silly but she stifled the lecture of how she was not made of glass.

 

Hojo began unloading the basket of food and Kagome's mouth began to water. He started with a bowl of fruit that consisted of a colorful array of healthy yummies: wedges of watermelon, sliced oranges, diced apples, cut honey dew, fresh strawberries, blueberries, and cherries. Next he took out two turkey sandwiches on top of two hearty slices of French bread, a bag of potato chips, two bottled waters, and Kagome's main crave: two cups of Ramon.

 

“Oh, Hojo,” she commented, “everything looks amazing.”

 

He smiled happy that she was please. They chatted lightly as they dug in, starting with the Ramon on Kagome's insistence. Next they finished off the delicious sandwiches and at last nibbled on the sweet fruits and drank their bottled water.

 

Kagome was stuffed and happy. “Ah, thank you Hojo for the lovely meal. It was fantastic.”

 

“You're very welcome, Kagome.” Hojo paused for a moment looking pensive. “Listen, Kagome, I've been thinking.” He cleared his throat. “I know we've been friends for a long time. And I don't pretend to know what circumstances you're under, but I do know you're going to have to raise this baby alone. A-and—” Hojo stuttered and looked nervous. “I want to be here for you, Kagome. And of course the baby. I promise to be a good father and husband—”

 

“Husband?!” Kagome interrupted.

 

Hojo reached into his pocket quickly and pulled a small black box. Kagome gasped in horror when she realized what it was. Hojo opened it to reveal a gold, diamond engagement ring. “Oh dear, sweet Kagome,” Hojo said with intense tenderness, “will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

 

Kagome's emotions, nerves, and hormones went haywire by the surprise. Not knowing what to do Kagome let out a squeak and slapped Hojo in the face.

 

He looked as surprised as Kagome felt by her own action.

 

“Oh, Hojo I'm sorry!” The slap probably wasn't hard enough to hurt but it certainly made an impact.

 

Hojo looked adolescent as he stared at Kagome with wide eyes and asked, “Is that a no?”

 

Kagome almost wanted to laugh. But she knew the situation was far too serious. Belly first, Kagome stood. Hojo rushed to help her but Kagome pulled away from his touch as if scorched. Not out of anger, just out of uncertainty. “I'm sorry, Hojo. I gotta go.”

 

“Please, Kagome! Think about it!” Hojo called after her.

 

Kagome walked off as fast as she could but it looked more like a wobble than a walk. Kagome rushed home to her apartment two blocks away. Once inside she felt relieved. She didn't want to think about Hojo's question right now. She didn't want to think of why her first instinct wasn't to say no.

 

Kagome went into her bedroom and undressed down to her undies and laid in her bed for an afternoon nap.

 

***********

 

Light grey clouds dusted the sky. A thin veil of rain fell onto the ground allowing the air to smell of wet soil. Kagome inhaled the sweet air as she walked. Her white, flowy maternity dress was slightly damp from the sprinkle of rain that flustered about. Kagome was happy for the spring shower that had transpired around mid morning.

 

It was a warm, soothing rain and Kagome just had to take a walk in it to calm her thoughts. Hojo's proposal had again surfaced from the back of her mind. But to her disappointment no answer availed. She weighed the pros and cons in her head.

 

Pros: Her child would have a wonderful, caring father. Kagome would have a tentative, thoughtful husband.

 

Cons, or rather con: Kagome doesn't love Hojo.

 

She was sure she could grow accustom and comfortable with him as she already has. But that was not fair to Hojo. Kagome hasn't discussed it with her mom yet for she was not sure what she should decide upon. She missed Inuyasha and maybe that's a whole lot of the reason why Kagome was leaning toward no.

 

Deep inside she still hoped— No! She wouldn't fall into the trap of lying to herself anymore. Inuyasha made his choice and it was time for Kagome to wake up and see that. The rain died and Kagome stopped and looked to see the glorious sun split through the clouds. Kagome smiled to herself and resumed walking. She again stopped as she found herself in front of the very tree where she found Inuyasha pinned in the feudal era.

 

She stood at entranced for a second staring up at that majestic tree. The leaves sparkled with crystal like drops of rain that shimmered in the sun. Kagome some how felt refreshed by the sight of it all. And for the first time in months she felt as though . . . as though she'd be okay. And that, to Kagome, felt incredible. It felt like a new day. And she realized she would be able to do this on her own. She could be a good mom, and if need it be, the only parent to this child.

 

She didn't need Hojo to marry her to feel okay, though he would always remain a great friend. And as hard but truthful as it was to admit, she didn't need Inuyasha, though he would always remain the love of her life. He would always hold a part of her heart that no one else can teach. And now she would go to Hojo and tell him she wasn't going to marry—

 

Kagome stopped in mid turn as a man stood in her path. She couldn't move. This man looked like Inuyasha . . . but . . . his hair was not only black but also short. And there was no red kimono. Just a red t-shirt and a pair of faded blue jeans. But . . .those eyes. They were so familiar. They were the shade of midnight and seemed to have the ability to see into her soul. All she wanted at the moment was to run into. This strangers arms.

 

But this wasn't who she wished it to be. Knowing she had to move on she walked around him. She was only four steps passed him when he spoke. His voice rang with such familiarity that her heart nearly jumped out of her chest.

 

“You look beautiful. I've never seen such a beautiful pregnant woman . . . until now,” he finished his voice thick with emotion.

 

Kagome turned slowly to find him still and facing her. Neither of their eyes left each other. Not knowing what to say, Kagome answered in a shaky voice, “Thank you.”

 

The right corner of his mouth turned up in a slight smile. His expression then became somber. “I'm sorry, Kagome. Had I known you were—” He sighed and indicated to her large belly with his hand.

 

Kagome, again at loss for words, only nodded.

 

“I wasn't going to come back you know. I thought it was best for you if I didn't. But damn I've missed you. And I realized if you can't live in my world, than I'll gladly sacrifice all I have to live in yours.”

 

Kagome stood wide eyed and silent for she was at stricken with shock.

 

He looked unsure of himself for the first time ever. “Kagome, if you don't want me, I'll understand. I'll leave and never bother y—”

 

“Shhh,” Kagome interrupted.

 

His eyes, having been down, snapped up to Kagome's.

 

“Please stop. Don't say another word . . . Inuyasha.” His name left her mouth as a whisper. She took slow but steady steps toward him. Face to face with him Kagome placed her hand to his cheek. Her expression puzzled as she allowed her eyes roam over him. “It's not a new moon. Where are your ears?” she slid her hand over the top his head where his ears used to be. “And you're long, silver hair . . .” The tips of her fingers grazed from the crown of his head to the back of his neck. “And your eyes . . .”

 

She gazed closely into the dark windows to his soul. “What happened to you, Inuyasha? Why are you not in your usual form?” Kagome asked with anxious worry. Than she gasped. “You're not full human are you?”

 

Inuyasha shook his head looking down at her. “No, Kagome. I'm still half demon. The cycle is just reversed.”

 

Kagome squinted at him and lowered her brows in question.

 

He continued, “The cycle has just been reversed. On the new moon I become the half demon you know of me. And all other nights I am in human form.”

 

Kagome was dumbfounded by all this and didn't know what to say. All she managed was, “How . . . ?”

 

“Old Kaede showed me what had to be done, with the help of the Shikon jewel, I transformed.”

 

Kagome just stared still riveted.

 

“I have the jewel, Kagome. But it's apart of me now. Consuming it was what allowed my body to make the permanent transformation.”

 

“P-permanent?” Kagome stammered.

 

Inuyasha grinned and placed his hands on her shoulders.

 

“Yes, Kagome permanent. How else could I live in your world? I certainly can't walk around looking half demon among all these measly humans. It'd scare the damn life out of them,” Inuyasha joked.

 

But Kagome was in no state of mind to joke around.

 

“Hey what's wrong?” Inuyasha questioned noticing tears in Kagome's brown eyes. “Why you cryin' for Kagome?” Inuyasha asked gruffly.

 

Finally finding her voice, Kagome spoke. “You mean you're going to stay . . . here . . . forever?”

 

“Well I don't seem to have much of a stinkin' choice now do I?”

 

Kagome looked down glumly.

 

Inuyasha grabbed her chin and made her look at him. “Cause I love you, Kagome. And for some damn reason unknown to me, I can't live with out you.”

 

Kagome covered her mouth to hold back a happy sob caused by his words.

 

Inuyasha cocked a brow. “Sheash, Kagome stop crying already. This pregnant stuff really does affect your mood huh?

 

Kagome laughed as a tear streamed down her cheek. “You're such a jerk, Inuyasha.”

 

He opened his mouth to say what Kagome figured was something stupid. So she covered his soft lips with two fingers and said, “But I love you just the same.”

 

Inuyasha's eyes lit and the slightest of smiles touched his lips. Kagome smiled as well as she leaned in and kissed him. And she realized something about his kiss just then: it tasted like home.