InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Unbridled, Unvoiced Passions ❯ Chapter 8 ( Chapter 8 )

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Unbridled, Unvoiced Passions

A bittersweet love story

In the depths of a hidden room, a library aged with the written works and family trinkets of a long forgotten tale. Scrolls, held captive from the brutal maturity of paper, told the secrets of lost time, of forgotten battles, of legends and myths, but mostly of his unbridled, unvoiced passions.

The room, sealed by an ancient magic, is opened after nearly three centuries of dormancy. A girl's curiosity and utmost respect for all things lost to time discovers the secrets of the hidden chambers; a secret she was unknowingly a part of. However, opening the chamber just might have been the biggest mistake of her life.

Chapter 8

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Gods no. Not here, not now! Why was this happening to her? Here, of all places, where she couldn't escape, couldn't run from the monster, or even ignore it. Why did it have to be now?

Kagome ran from the scene, her heart beating wildly in the vast expansion of her dreams. But the more she ran away, the closer the enemy got. She wasn't going to escape this time; there was nowhere to go but down, and down was where she was afraid to be.

Still she tried, as futile as it may have been she had to try. The images grew with her every step until she felt like a tiny creature watching a large film play out before her very eyes. She tried to block out the images, cover her eyes…something, but it was useless.

"I'm sorry"

Kagome screamed at the sight, barely able to hold in the pierce of anguish.

"Noo-"

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Kagome's eyes shot open as her body jolted upright, throwing her from her dream. She held her hand to her chest in an attempt to calm her racing heart, but it seemed as futile as her attempts to avoid those dreams altogether.

She couldn't stand it anymore, the dreams were memories; pain and torture wracked her body for recognition. Why couldn't she get past this?

Her body trembled slightly as she looked to her lap. Only, she didn't see her blankets, or anything else for that matter, because her mind was already trapped in the vivid memory of that fateful night.

Flashback

"Kagome"

Inuyasha, her knight in fire-rat armors! Kagome laughed at the image in her mind and followed the half-demon into the forest.

They had been getting closer lately, even going so far as to hold hands when no one was looking. Still she decided not to hold her breath for him while Kikyou still walked the earth. Kagome was the one to follow Inuyasha as he followed Kikyou; it was her choice after all.

But now they were alone, just the two of them. It was pure bliss in moments like this. Her crush wanted her attention, her full undivided attention so that he could return the favor. Who would say no to that?

She walked up behind him and dropped to her knees to place her arms around his sitting figure. He was so sweet when they were alone, so caring and open that she could die right then and smile all the way through hell.

She felt his hand as it grasped her own and held tight. It was endearing in a way to know that he wanted to be with her, even if it was a secret to the rest of the world. Kikyou was still around; he was doing this so that no one looked to her as a whore or a slut, it was all for her, right?

Kagome let go of the doubt and rest her head against his back. He was so comfortable to her, so `home' to her.

She felt him move and watched as he turned around, all the while keeping her hand locked around him. He placed a light kiss on her lips and rested his forehead to hers with a happy sigh. They were together so little that these moments were monumentally cherished between the two.

When he pushed her back to the grass, Kagome's heart raced. It wasn't just fear, oh no; there was adrenaline and arousal as well. She knew he could tell that she wanted him and she knew he wanted her, so this was sort of just another step to loving each other, right?

Her doubt was quickly squashed by the lips that pressed into her heated skin. As he grazed her body with his lips, undressing her along the way, all she could think of was `wow, this is really it'.

They bathed in the moonlight, naked and shy to the world, but lovers unto each other. Still, she was unsure of the entire situation.

For some reason Kagome just couldn't relax in the face of her lover's intent. They were so innocent to touch still and that was interesting enough to make this memorable, but she was afraid of his true intentions.

Kagome still held doubts over where Inuyasha's heart lie, and she supposed that's why she told him no while begging him to continue. It was confusing for the situation but she wanted to know for certain that he loved her and not just wanted her for the moment.

He had never said he loved her, still called her names and made her feel like dirt actually. But Kagome believed that deep down he loved her and that his `rough edges' were his protection from pain.

She hesitated again when he asked if she was ready; there was just one thing she needed now. Those three little words, so easy to spell…so hard to admit. She only needed to hear them once and she would give herself to her lover forever.

"Inuyasha, do you love me?"

It was quick and it was bold, but if she hadn't been quick about it then she might not have gotten it out at all. When his body went from flowing lover to rigid fear, Kagome wanted to cry. What would he have to be afraid of if he truly loved her?

"Kagome…"

Whatever he was going to say, he never got the chance to finish. He stood and dressed in record timing before leaving her lying in the field, naked to the world in every way possible.

Her fears were realized when the first silver tip crossed the sky above her. She trembled in realization as she deftly made her way to her clothes.

Kagome's feet stumbled on the path that led to the bone eater's well. Her friends and belongings stayed at Kaede's, but she didn't care.

She couldn't form a coherent thought past `that was Kikyou's soul stealer'. Her body jolted in submission as she fell to her knees on the rocky path.

Inuyasha left her for Kikyou, just when they were about to make love for the very first time. He left her scared and trembling for a chance to see the one that would forever and always search for their deaths in a vengeance unbidden.

She couldn't breathe, couldn't move…hell she couldn't even think. The world around her began to close in, the edges darkening to a hazy black.

Kagome recognized the signs of passing out, she had so many encounters with her weak stomach before that it was obvious what was happening.

A thought struck her then; weak, she wasn't weak! There was no way a normal, weak girl could endure even half of the things she'd seen and still have their sanity.

She fought demons and power-crazed lunatics that left her world full of blood and deceit. How could one man, half-demon from her fairy tale or not, bring her to her knees like this?

He couldn't! She wouldn't! This was not how it was supposed to be so she was not going to let it!

Inuyasha could keep his Kikyou. Kagome had a life to get to…why cry over spilt milk? Especially when you're the one that set it on the end of the table to be knocked off!

Kagome rose to her feet and wiped away the last remaining traitorous tears. With her fists at her side and a new resolve, Kagome walked back to Kaede's hut. She vowed to never fall into the trap again for sake of her sanity and her heart.

That was the last time she would trust a man with any piece of her. How was she to know that it was only the first of many fearfully intimate moments between her and her former interest?

End Flashback

Kagome looked to her hands and glared. The last time she cried until recently that is. For some reason, her heart and resolve had been broken into to bring her back to her knees in tears.

She wiped her hands at the moisture and let her blood boil, basking in the feeling of anger. What was it that changed in her life so drastic as to bring her down again? She was doing so well.

She was doing well, that is until she had gone home for the extended stay. No, that couldn't be it; she had gone home before, it shouldn't have an effect like this. Maybe a bit melancholy, but not this.

Her eyes widened in comprehension. The room, those journals, they were what was different. But why? What made reading them so life altering?

She searched her memory of the journals and all the events that led her to this one moment from then on that had anything at all to do with them. Then it dawned on her.

Someone cared for her…and he was there with her, watching her most likely in concern at that very moment. Though he may be loathe to admit it, the demon lord cared for her and that was truly why he was following her, not that stupid crap about priestess intervention he had tried to feed her for this `alliance'. The damn dog was curious, and faithful to his needs, which somehow included her.

Kagome's heart pulled in fear and something else she couldn't place. It was like desperation, only augmented to the point that she found it hard to breathe.

Slowly, as though afraid of seeing what she already knew to be true, Kagome turned her eyes up towards the cold demon and found him watching her. She was expecting concern to shine across his golden irises and there was one thing she could say about Sesshoumaru with full conviction…he did not disappoint her.

The revelation scared her, but at the same time small shivers of comfort and gratitude braved their way in. For the first time in nearly three years, Kagome wanted to feel the comfort she knew a man would not give. She was falling back into a dangerous crush for someone that could not, would not return her affections.

Cursing her fate and damning the Gods, Kagome rose from her blankets and busied herself with packing up camp before making breakfast. They were going to have a very early start for a very extensive walk today.

His gaze pierced into her soul as though he could hear her beg him to leave her be. Hoping beyond hope that he would let her go alone, at least for now, Kagome slowly took her eyes from his and turned to leave.

"I'll be back"

She walked just outside camp and chanced a look at Sesshoumaru as he lounged comfortably at the base of a tree. Looking up a bit higher, Kagome found Inuyasha and he appeared to be asleep. Good!

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The clearing Kagome found was beautiful, almost serene in its simplicity. A few flowers scattered among the tall, unkempt grasses that were familiar to this time gave the place a welcoming aura. It inspired visitors to relax, forget their problems and simply enjoy nature's beauty.

But Kagome couldn't relax any more than she could ignore the striking presence that stood but a few feet from her. Without having to turn for confirmation, she knew that Inuyasha was there; apparently he wasn't asleep when she left.

She repressed a bitter sigh and let her body fold to the ground gracefully. If he wanted to stay then fine, but she didn't feel like talking so he could just bite that tongue of his right now!

As he sat down next to her, Kagome could only move further away. It may have hurt his feelings, and did by the looks of it, but she didn't care. He had entered her dreams and tormented her mind with those memories far too many times.

"Kagome."

She didn't spare him a glance, didn't nod or grunt in acknowledgement. There wasn't anything she wanted to talk to him about and that was that. Sure she was acting bitter, and quite possibly a bit cold-shouldered, but if it likened him to leave her alone then her attitude was a very small price to pay.

"You're not going to talk to me, are you?"

Kagome again refused to answer, instead staring out into the dark night awaiting the sun to rise. Already she could see the fine line of purple as it attempted to fuse with the blackened sky; a clear sign that dawn was nearly upon them.

When Inuyasha stood, she had thought that he was going to leave. Never count your chickens before they hatch, right?

He stood behind her, just a bit to the side and let out a dejected, frustrated sort of sigh.

"When are you going to get over this Kagome? It was years ago. You act like it was yesterday!"

She wanted to cry, by Gods she wanted to cry because it made him feel guilty. But of course, taking one for the rounds, Kagome couldn't will herself to let out the rueful emotion of sadness long enough to summon up the salty liquid.

Still, her body radiated pain that she knew he was well aware of. But then, he was just mocking her for that pain and chastising her for hurting.

"You made the choice Kagome…"

"I made the choice…when did I make that choice?"

Clearly he hadn't expected her to actually say something. His sputtering and tripping on words made him sound like a fish out of water, and that's exactly what he was; this was completely out of his territory of mental capacity.

"You were the one that chose her, you were the one that left me there, and you were the one that copulated with that WHORE!"

Her voice had risen with each word until all Inuyasha could do was cover his flattened ears against his skull and cower before her. She seemed almost ethereal with her powers raging around her in blue flames, licking her body like a faithful kitten.

Her powers were almost always blue when she was this far gone, when she was this hurt. It wasn't just anger, it wasn't just pain, it wasn't just anything…it was everything all thrown together to create this untouchably deadly beauty.

The powers surfaced at her most emotional state, and currently Inuyasha found himself the receptor of one of her more emotional rants. But he wasn't one to cower too long; he had his pride and probably thought that he was right in calling out to her the way he did only moments ago.

"She's not a whore Kagome. Kikyou is my mate. I will not allow you to talk down on her like that."

"Oh forgive me mighty Inuyasha. I forgot that she was the leader in this group. Tell me, how tight is that leash she has on her dog."

Oh yeah, it was low and she knew it. Kagome was angry enough to sit him to America and back, so long as she got to do it again! He had no right to tell her it was her fault; she held only the blame of caring for him.

She could still hear his growl, and to her it was about as menacing as Shippou was with chocolate all over him when they had first brought him into the group. Not very intimidating if you asked her. But then again, he probably thought that it was scary to her.

"Oh no, you're growling. Great. So how do I stop fighting you again? Was it like this?"

She tilted her head to the left, exposing her neck on the right. When his growl grew she turned her head the opposite direction and spoke again.

"No, I remember now, it's the left side you want, right?"

He continued to growl, this time deeper and louder at the same time. She brought her head up and leveled her eyes to him.

"Oh yeah, I had almost forgotten that you didn't want any of me, so submission won't work. Maybe I should retrieve your whore? She could calm you down…in more ways than one I'm sure!"

"Don't fucking call her that again!"

Kagome watched with satisfaction as his nails dug into his palms. With all the tension they had built over the years, small encounters like this kept them from killing one another. It was all true, every word they uttered completely heartfelt truth to them, but then they also knew that they would never harm each other fatally and so were not afraid to actually speak their minds.

However, there were times, like this one was quickly becoming that the two of them would actually `scrap it out' physically. Their tension was tangible, a sheer raw force of screaming, pent up emotions for one another that had no other release besides violence.

The old adage held true in this case: If it isn't love then it is hate. Yin and yang, black and white, hate and love, it is always one or the other. Theirs was still deciding.

Kagome watched Inuyasha's eyes as they threatened to bleed with his inner beast; a threat, as idle as it may be, on his mate was about as welcome as it was wise.

Inuyasha took one step towards her and her aura spiked, taking on a darker blue that nearly raged with the oncoming morning lights. She was a beauty to behold, and a force to be reckoned with, but this may have gone too far.

So many years of pent up frustration, boiling betrayal, and blatant disregard for one another threatened to spill and consume them if some miraculous force did not intervene soon.

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He had felt the energy surge through the earth only moments before and was currently wondering at the sheer amount of it. If he didn't know any better, he would have sworn Naraku had made a nasty little appearance. But he was no fool; he knew what was going on just meters from him.

"Not again"

Sesshoumaru looked up to see the, once again, `knowing' look of the monk. This time, however, there was no small amount of fear in his eyes, the mirth from before gone as though it was never present to begin with.

"Again?"

Miroku looked down to Sango and back to Sesshoumaru. He seemed to be making a decision and stood, with the demon slayer in hand no less, with a resolute sigh.

Miroku pulled him to the side and explained what was happening, Sesshoumaru's eyes widening slightly at the details. From what the monk told him of the problem, Kagome and Inuyasha had deep seeded hatred and love that tended to come out in more…violent than necessary means sometimes.

The need to know what was going on between his brother and his priestess was overwhelming and so, with no small amount of reluctance, Sesshoumaru offered to break up the quarrel.

When he arrived at the clearing, all that could be seen was a clash of red on blue. The traces were faint, but Sesshoumaru could swear he saw purple and white fusing with the blue.

Her power was familiar to him, having been at the receiving end more than once, but at that time it was a subtle pink. This was something far more intense and Sesshoumaru thanked every deity he could lay name to that he wasn't the one she was targeting at the moment.

Neither of the two had moved he noted, but their aura's still clashed dangerously. Inuyasha, being the bright and quick learner that he was, simply signed his death wish with a smile.

"You couldn't handle being second best. You're too selfish for that and so you followed me. You followed me like a lost kitten knowing God damned well that I wasn't about to just leave Kikyou behind and live this perfect little screwed up life with you. I tried Kagome. I told you to go home where you belong. You don't belong here, you aren't even born yet!"

Kagome's bangs had dangerously fallen over her eyes, casting eerie shadows to dance on her tanned skin in the early morning. The dew of settling mists dampened and pulled on her hair as it bit wildly around her body, giving her a very feral appearance as both a female and a warrior.

When she didn't speak, Sesshoumaru began to worry. His brother seemed intent on either dying or killing the bitch with his own two hands. That simply would not do.

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Inuyasha was beyond reasoning with the girl anymore. It had been two years and she still wasn't over this? It was pathetic. She needed to get over it and get on with life.

He was about to end her problems and his coincidentally, when an all too familiar aura joined the party.

It would have been ignored, had it not been so angry. Inuyasha could feel the surge of power as his brother took off towards him.

With nary a second to spare, Inuyasha sprang from his foothold in the grass and landed behind a very growling Sesshoumaru. It wasn't as surprising as it should have been, he thought, as his brother had seemed to have fallen for the human bitch anyhow.

Good, let him have her.

For the first time in the conversation, Inuyasha said something that actually made sense to the demon that roared inside both he and Sesshoumaru. Though the latter would probably fight the notion until the very end, Inuyasha knew it was enough to calm the raging beasts in both of his current `enemies'. If it didn't calm them, well it would certainly shock the hell out of them (or into them in some cases).

"She threatened my mate. I've had enough. She is yours to deal with, so you make her submit. Kagome is your responsibility now, not mine. I have my own mate to contend with!"

With that he walked calmly out of the clearing, tapping his nails across the hilt of Tessaiga and scowling. He may have averted the danger from himself, but his anger was still raging with the need to rip something to shreds. Perhaps he should go on a short hunt for breakfast before returning to camp.

Sesshoumaru stood in the clearing in sheer puzzlement. His brother had not only shown a large amount of wisdom (too bad it wasn't until after he pissed of Kagome), but also a fair amount of stupidity in one statement. It was shocking to realize that the twerp had learned to think at all in battle.

Again, it had to be the effects of Kagome.

At the thought of her, Sesshoumaru turned around to see Kagome slumped in the grass in a form of defeat, her aura and powers receding into her body once more. She looked so tired and broken, her emotional wounds bleeding from the barrage of pestilent truths and lies alike. What he wouldn't give to run Inuyasha through with that damned inheritance of his at that moment.

"Am I truly that disgusting?"

He was confused beyond words, and quite out of his element. Consoling others in their time of need was not exactly his strongest forte. Losing count of the many times, he once again questioned his sanity in seeking out the young woman.

She didn't turn to him, he noticed, didn't even wait for a reply. He actually wondered if she even wanted one as she stood and walked to the bottom of the small slope she was on.

Cursing his curiosity, because that had to be the culprit for his traitorous actions against himself, he followed her down the hill. He wasn't sure what to say, or even why he was staying, but he knew that for some reason he had to.

When he reached her form at the bottom, he stood next to her and, having no better ideas, stared up to the sky. Dawn was approaching quickly with the colors in the sky changing to a murky blue and purple.

"Am I?"

He turned to her with one eyebrow raised, trying to figure out what the hell she wanted.

"Am I really so undesirable?"

Sesshoumaru took the time to look her over, the question rolling around in his thoughts like a cat playing with a toy. He realized that it felt like her, life inside him in a pleasant dreariness that only she could provide. Suddenly he knew the answer to her question and resigned himself to the fact that he actually wanted her to know what he thought.

He took hold of her honey-brown eyes with his own golden treasures and whispered to her, as though afraid the rest of the world might here him.

"No"

Her eyes glistened, whether in pain or pleasure he'll never know, but then he didn't have time to care since he found himself stumbling slightly with the force of her body as she threw herself into him for an embrace. It dawned on him that, as he wrapped his arm around her and held her closer to him, he had wanted this. He had wanted to hold her like this since he first thought of her.

The disgust he felt when near a human was entertained for less than a moment; he had never thought of her as merely a human, and hoped that he never would.

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Time passed as though the sand was stuck in the neck of the hourglass, slowly trickling only on grain at a time. She looked up into the face of her comforter, her confidante, her friend, and nearly screamed.

She was holding him, embracing him and crying at the same time. It didn't dawn on her that he was returning the embrace, only that she might be invading his personal space and angering him.

Kagome quickly removed herself from the comfort of her demon companion and muttered a quick apology before plopping down onto the ground. She looked up to the sky and let out a soft, tired little sigh.

As he moved to sit beside her, Kagome's muscles went tight and instinctively moved her further away from him. He looked a bit confused, but said nothing to contradict her movements and so she relaxed.

"We should head back"

Kagome nodded, slightly startled when he spoke, and looked to him in search of something she wasn't quite sure she was going to find, probably because she didn't know exactly what it was she was looking for. No enlightenment came, no `aha, I have you figured out', just a demon lord staring at her with sheer concern shining in his eyes.

She dropped her head and closed her eyes a moment before returning her attentions to the sky.

"I just want to see the sun rise on me"

He nodded and turned back to the sky himself. It was a peaceful and intensely spiritual experience if one allowed it to be so, watching the sun break horizon.

The two of them watched the dawn as it came; lingering only a few extras minutes to savor the taste of sweet peace, and walked back to camp together.

Kagome turned to Sesshoumaru on the walk back and placed a hand on his arm, effectively gaining his full attention and his eyes.

"Thank you. That was oddly…intimate"

He turned his sights back to the path. When she thought he wasn't going to answer, his voice rang out in a low baritone that left her body shivering in warmth.

"I know"

So, not the words she would have chosen, but then it was more of a response than she had ever expected. A new friend was good, this new friend did not hurt her, and she doubted she could ever hurt him.

Sesshoumaru watched her from the corner of his eye, peeking at her form every now and again. What an odd creature she was, this Kagome…his Kagome.

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Ah, I am so done with this chapter. My gods but I had to shorten it. A lot of the stuff I wanted to put in here got sidetracked to next chapter cause of the long content of this one! Sorry bout the slight OOCness and maybe even Fluffiness, but it couldn't be helped…I'm just in a good mood.

Joeygirl