InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Unfettered ❯ Redefining ( Chapter 14 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

A/N: I've actually had this done for two days, so it really did only take me two weeks to get this ready, but I was delayed in posting by preparation for my daughter's fifth birthday, and then again by the party itself which was at Chuck E. Cheese. (Yes it was as horrific and tiring an experience as it sounds, but I have recovered.)

I hope you enjoy this chapter and is a small LEMON near the end. As always reviews are appreciates and thanks to any one who has left one so far.

Dislaimer: I don't own InuYasha (For more see my story summary)

InuYasha paced furiously for several moments, still refusing to acknowledge that anything the elderly miko had said could be true, before slipping to the floor against the wall. Was he really seeing only what he wanted to, and not what was? And what did he really have to lose by doing so in his efforts to protect Kikyou’s reputation?

“Papa?” Taro intoned quietly.

InuYasha was brought from his thoughts and looked up as his son approached.

“Is everything okay?”

The truth of the matter was that he didn’t know if everything was all right or not. At the very least he had hurt Kagome; and at the worst Kikyou had become a dark miko, intent on harming his family. Either way, it wasn’t what he would call okay.

“I don’t know,” InuYasha replied. “But they will be. I’ll take of it, so don’t worry.”

The little boy nodded and climbed into his father’s lap, resting his head against his chest. Strong arms wrapped around him and Taro snuggled more deeply against the older hanyou. As InuYasha held his son he made himself to consider everything Kaede had said, and Kagome’s words as well. And as much as it pained him to do so, he also forced himself to try and evaluate objectively both Kikyou’s possible motives and her actions.

Kikyou had been kind to him when no one else was. Surely it wasn’t possible for she, who had befriended an outcast hanyou, to be anything other than good. But was this really his Kikyou; the kind and noble woman he remembered. Earlier that very day she had stopped just short of calling Kagome a whore and him a liar. Even worse, she had insinuated to her sister that he had sought her out, and that he had dishonored his mating with Kagome by being with her intimately. His Kikyou never would have done that. And just what had her intentions been in coming into his home, and acting as if it were her place to cook for him and his son?

From all of this, the only conclusion he could draw was almost too painful to bear. Kikyou’s intentions could only be to cause a rift between him and Kagome that would widen until there was nothing left between them at all. What's more, he had been helping her to succeed by refusing to see the truth. This woman, whoever she was, was not his Kikyou. She wasn’t even the Kikyou of her initial resurrection into that body of earth and bone.

He would be blinded by the past no longer. He would never speak ill of Kikyou, the real Kikyou, whom he would always feel a measure of love for; but this thing, this being, was not she, and he would acknowledge the truth.

With that revelation came another. Yet again he had allowed a shade of his former love to come between himself and Kagome. His beautiful and forgiving Kagome was once more shedding tears because of his inability to look beyond his past. She had stood by him, defended him resolutely, and he had repaid her with betrayal.

Kaede was right. For years Kagome had watched him run off to be with Kikyou, had seen him holding another woman in his arms, but she had never spoken ill of her. Even after Kikyou had tried to kill her she had said nothing, though it would have been a perfect opportunity to try and turn him against her rival for his affections.

He had been wrong to make excuses for Kikyou’s shade when there were none. The only thing that remained to be done was to find some way to tell Kagome that he knew that now, and that she had no reason to fear that his love for her was anything but the most sincere of truths.

InuYasha glanced at the small, sleeping boy in his lap and wondered how he could have been so blind when so much was at stake. He rose and carried Taro to his room, putting him to bed, before venturing into the room he shared with Kagome.



Kagome held her breath as he entered the room. She didn’t know what hurt more: that he couldn’t see the truth about Kikyou, that he had been so quick to defend Kikyou right after she had spoken in his defense, or that he had made it seem like Kikyou wasn’t the only one pining over a different life.

A part of her didn’t want him to say anything, too afraid that his words would be those she dreaded, and that he would shatter what was left of her bruised and battered heart. While another prayed that he would speak, to tell her he was wrong and that he was sorry, and that he loved her, really loved her.

With his keen senses of course he would know that she wasn’t sleeping, but she hoped that maybe he would let her get away with pretending, just this once. She could hear the rustle of fabric as he prepared to join her in bed and wondered if he would still try and make love to her after what happened. More than that though, she wondered if she would be able to say no if he did.

In her heart she knew that she would not refuse him and it pained her. What had become of her that she would be willing to allow herself to be used in such a way? No wonder he didn’t really love her. The Kagome he could have loved, the strong one who loved herself and who she was, had died a long time ago with the sealing of an ancient well.

Nothing had turned out as she had always hoped. A sob broke free from behind her tightly clamped lips and more tears fell.


His heart ached with each shudder of her body as she cried into her pillow. He quickly slipped into bed behind her and wrapped her in his arms. “Kagome... Don’t cry, please,” he pleaded quietly, his lips pressed to her ear. “I hate it when you cry.”

The tenderness of his tone only made her cry harder.

He held her more tightly. “I was wrong to defend her, especially to you. No matter what has happened, she had no right to speak to you that way. You’ve never done anything to deserve that. She isn’t Kikyou anymore... I can see that now. I know I should have seen it sooner, and I’m sorry.”

“D-d-do-do you r-r-really-really mean that?” Kagome hiccoughed. “A-A-Are you sure t-t-that, that it’s really m-m-me you want to b-b-be with?”

“Turn over and look at me,” he said gently. Once she was facing him he continued, “I’m sure. The Kikyou I loved died a long time ago. I’ll never forget her or the way I felt for her, but that don’t mean that I haven’t moved on. I love you Kagome. I always will. Being your mate is the life I want, only with you and our hanyou son.”

Kagome closed her eyes against her tears and hugged him tightly. “I want to believe you. So badly, I want to, but I don’t know that I can... It hurt to hear you defending her, and the way you made it seem as though you would rather be living another life with her. I trusted you, stood up for you, and after we spoke to her today I was sure that you would do the same for me... but when it came right down to it, you didn’t. You chose her, again...”

“Fuck! I know... I know and I’m sorry for it, for all of it... more than you know,” InuYasha told her in a harsh whisper. “I’ve always wondered how many times I would fuck up before you would stop being able to forgive me, and if that time has finally come, then I can’t say that I don’t understand.”

Kagome lifted her head. As their eyes met, she saw in his the same fear she felt in her own heart. “It’s not that I can’t forgive you or that I don’t want to...”

“Then you’ll stay... you’ll stay and give me a chance to prove to you that this is what I want; and that I really have put the past behind me, and want only you,” InuYasha cut in.

Kagome committed herself with a hesitant nod, afraid of getting hurt yet again, but unable to answer any other way. She accepted the tender kiss offered to her by her hanyou and then let herself relax in his comforting embrace. She was thankful that in spite of his body’s obvious desire for more, he seemed to understand that right now trying to make love to her would probably hurt things between them more than fixing them.

The next morning Kaede arrived just in time to join the young family for breakfast. She would have been more than willing to prepare her own meal, but Kagome had insisted that she dine with them, as a small repayment for her teachings. Even still, were it any other family, she would have refused so as not to cause them any hardship. However, in this case she knew that they often had food to spare, and were able to go through the well for more should it ever become necessary.

The elderly woman noticed, as she watched the hanyou and his wife interact, a certain distance between them. She felt somewhat to blame for this, but knew the warning she had offered had been necessary, and she had faith that the two would be able to work through their problems and come together even stronger than before. Just the fact that Kagome remained in the past was a sign that InuYasha and she had spoken, and to some measure begun to repair the discord in their relationship.

Once the meal was finished InuYasha left to clear the surrounding forest of any youkai, and Kaede began the day’s lessons for Kagome and Taro. As usual, the young boy could only maintain his attention for so long and when InuYasha returned, he was released into his care.

After the two hanyou headed outside Kagome returned her attention to Kaede. “I’m ready to continue. I think I can make a small barrier now. Should I try?”

The elderly miko sighed. “In a moment perhaps.” Kaede paused briefly and chose her words carefully before continuing, “I pray you do not think me an old and interfering woman, but I feel it my duty to ask... Did you and InuYasha speak after I left? I could not help but to notice a certain distance between you both. I only mention it because you have been like a granddaughter to me, and I wish only for your happiness.”

“It’s okay Kaede,” Kagome said quietly. “You’ve always been kind to me, and I know that everything you have ever said or done has been in the cause of helping me in some way. We did talk. He apologized and admitted that he was wrong. He said that he knows she isn’t the same Kikyou that he once loved, and that he only wants to be with me. I agreed to stay and give him the chance to prove it... It was hard to give him that chance, and I’m afraid of what is going to happen, but I love him so much... I had to.”

Kaede nodded sympathetically. “I understand child. It is only natural that you would fear the same pain you have experienced many times over. I will pray that all goes well for you. Now, let us see if you can call up a barrier.”


Kagome and Kaede worked together until just before midday. The younger woman had managed to make a barrier large enough to encompass both herself and the elderly miko. With that accomplishment Kaede declared her ready to progress to the next stage of her training, before declining the offer of another meal and departing.

Kagome yawned widely as she poured the water into the paper cups. For once she was grateful that both her husband and her son loved instant noodles so much, since she was too drained to make anything else. Holding a barrier took a lot of energy, and with the emotional drain of the previous day, she was nearly exhausted.

She set the cups on the table and then stepped just outside to call her two hanyou in to lunch. “InuYasha! Taro! Food!”

That done she headed into the bedroom to lie down, having already decided that a small nap would do her more good than eating. She had just lain down and closed her eyes when she heard the shoji slide open.

“Kagome, is something wrong?” InuYasha asked.

“No. I’m just bit worn out from practicing barriers with Kaede,” Kagome replied. “I am going to take a nap. I’m sorry I wasn’t up to making more than ramen for lunch.”

“Keh, you know I don’t mind having ramen. I’m the one always saying you don’t make it often enough,” InuYasha snorted. “You just rest. The pup and I can take care of ourselves. I’ll do his training with me early today, and you can teach him that other stuff after.”

Kagome smiled wanly and yawned. She let her eyes drift closed as she said, “Thank you.”

The next couple of weeks pasted in a blur for Kagome, mostly due to the increasing difficulty of her training. A sense of foreboding had settled over her after Kaede had spoken to them of Kikyou and she wanted to be prepared, even if it meant exhausting herself in doing so. The only consolation to her sore muscles and weary mind was that she thought it was working. She was certain that Kikyou would be shocked at her improvement, and if the other miko was indeed after her family, then that would be a good thing.

Kagome slipped down into the relaxing water of the hot spring just behind their home, thankful not for the first time of its existence. Though it wasn’t only having the spring to bathe in that she enjoyed. That InuYasha had chosen this particular location for their home was a sometimes needed reminded that he had indeed built this place to live in with her.

She closed her eyes and leaned back against a large boulder, clearing her mind and opening her senses. Meditation often helped her rejuvenate after a long day’s training, as well as being good practice. There was a warm tingling against her aura, that of a youki without hostile intent, two of them actually: one coming from their home, and the other from much, much closer. A small smile graced her lips.

Without opening her eyes she called, “InuYasha, you don’t have to spy on me to watch me bathe. I’d much rather you come out and join me.”

Since the night of their argument over Kikyou there had been little opportunity to be together intimately and no attempts by either of them to create one. Usually she was too tired or sore to even think about doing anything other than sleeping, but somehow the thought of him watching her bathe in secret made her body tingle with a warmth having nothing to do with his youki. Kagome opened her eyes as a soft thud announced his landing on the bank of the spring.

“Kagome...” InuYasha began hesitantly. The last thing he wanted to do was upset her and put even more distance between them.

For the last two weeks he had refused to allow himself to give into his hunger for her. He had resolutely stayed away from her in times that might have proved too tempting to pass by. Tonight, though, he had been unable to stay away from her. He should have known that she would be able to sense him easily now that she had nearly full control of her powers. At least she didn’t seem angry with him. In fact she seemed happy to see him.

“Is Taro asleep?” Kagome asked, and received a nod in reply. “Then what are you waiting for? Unless you don’t want to join me that is...”

“You sure?” InuYasha questioned, hoping that he wasn’t misinterpreting her offer. He would be sorely disappointed if she really was only asking him to bathe with her and nothing more.

Her eyes darkened slightly and she worried her lower lip as she nodded. He felt his body harden instantly. It had been too long since he had been permitted to be with her. InuYasha undressed as quickly as possibly and slipped into the water. It was warmer than he liked, but that didn’t really seem to matter as she moved towards him, a bottle in hand.

“Turn around and I’ll wash your hair,” she said quietly.

He obeyed and soon was practically groaning aloud as she massaged his scalp. Her fingers moved carefully through his hair and around his ears for several moments before she commanded him to rinse. Once that was done he turned to her. “Can I?”

“Well, I already washed my hair this morning, but you can wash my back. If you want...” she offered.

InuYasha knew that she usually used some kind of cloth when she washed but he wanted to touch her, to feel her soft skin beneath his fingers. So, he grabbed the soap and lathered his hands before covering her back gently. She shuddered as he ran his hands down her arms, settling with his palms against her thighs. His lips, then fangs, brushed the back of her shoulder and she leaned into him.

Her own small hands covered his as he slipped them up, across her stomach, until they were cupping her breasts. He knew her body, knew all the places in which she truly lived. And it wasn’t long before he had her knees trembling and unable to support her weight.

InuYasha lifted his beautiful mate from the water and set her gently on the bank. As she looked up at him a little fearful, but totally committed, it was like the first time all over again. And when he joined with her it was like coming home.

Kagome’s back arched and she gasped as he stretched her. She hadn’t realized just how much she missed him, missed all the ways they fitted together, until that moment. The deep ache in her muscles seemed nothing more than a faint memory, as she rose to meet him. All her doubts and fears vanished in an instant. Surely no man could look at a woman he didn’t really want with such desire, such tenderness.

“I missed you,” he rasped against her neck, as he slid more deeply into her.

“Me to,” she agreed.

After that there were no more words between them, until he collapsed on top of her, both spent and satiated. For a long moment they lay there together before InuYasha lifted his head and looked into her eyes. The fingers of one hand carefully stroked her cheek and brushed back her hair.

“We’re going to be okay aren’t we?”

Kagome smiled softly at him. “Yes, we are.”