InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Upon the Edge of Nothingness ❯ Reflections in the Moonlight ( Chapter 1 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Standing.
Just standing.
On the edge of nothingness and inexistence.
How can one go on when there is nothing left, nothing to live for.
Nothing to love.
Love.
Oh, how I shudder at the remembrance of love.
She was my love.
Amara.
My one and only. I let go. Too long did I see her pain.
That flash of death, a tragic mixture of shock, pain, and sadness.
Her brown eyes, dark in the waning light.
I held her.
My arms shaking as I looked upon her once more.
Chestnut locks, dripping with crimson.
Blood.
I’d forgotten the smell of my beloved.
My mate.
My lover.
My friend.
My only one.
I gaze at my claws. How much destruction has been wrecked by these talons?
The death of my enemies.
The death I couldn’t prevent, that of my own little brother.
Hmm, I shouldn’t think of him. How he died in the arms of his human wench.
She passed soon after. Still clutching that half breed’s lifeless body in her arms.
She wept for him, screamed her pain of loss into the night.
I shudder, to remember the desperate screech she released, it chills me to the marrow.
Her eyes bored deep into my soul, such hated and pain.
Towards me for letting him die?
Towards the real murderer?
I shall never know.
Though perhaps I now know what she felt, how it feels to lose a mate.
Her pathetic companions had tried to save them both, but nothing would have saved that women once Inuyasha was dead.
Her heart was broken, shattered the moment his breathing had ceased.
She held him close, tears streaming down her face onto his, he had reached up, brushing them away, I’ll never forget his last words to her.
“Don’t cry, Kagome, I hate it when you cry, not because of me. We’ll both be together again soon. I love you.” with that he had shuddered, his entire body shook as though his soul was fighting to be free, and she had held him tighter whispering her love and kissing him as his body fell still.
I had taken no revenge for the whelp’s death, leaving it to the grief stricken human companions.
The small fox kit perished soon after the hanyou and his mate.
He was caught in a cross blade, a hit meant for the human wench’s body.
He died defending a carcass.
Foolish, last I heard from him was mumblings about joining Kagome and Inuyasha in lush fields of green.
Heaven? I know of no such thing.
Hell is my only destination.
I have crossed too much evil to be redeemed.
Even if I do care for my brother’s hanyou pup.
Yes, perhaps I have gone soft.
The whelp is barely weaned, and now I’ve been reduced to a nursemaid. Awake at all hours tending the tiny creature.
So frail and delicate.
Rin loves him and takes much better care than I ever could.
He is alone in this world, in more ways then one.
No parents, Inuyasha and Kagome are weeks dead.
He will never be able to play with other little ones, always secluded.
Born from two worlds torn apart, human and demon.
I found the babe, lying in the arms of one of the companions. The human female, demon exterminator.
She was dead, but had died honorably.
The monk was beside her, his face badly cut. Lifeless the both of them.
The small village totaled. The only living survivor was the whimpering pup, golden eyes liquid with silent tears.
I never knew his given name.
Never even learning of his existence until finding him in the wreckage.
I imagine he was in the care of the old priestess when his parents were slaughtered.
Though there was no mistaking his amber eyes, silver hair, and most recognizable his tiny white dog ears.
I named him Inuyasha, after his father.
I figured it would be a strong name to carry him through the rough life ahead.
I step away from the edge, both literally and psychologically.
The wind tugs at my leg, I glance downwards to find it is not the wind, but Rin, clutching the sleeping pup carefully in her arms.
She smiles, though she knows my pain.
I gaze into her eyes and realize, she is bearing hidden pain of her own.
She suffers as I suffer.
I give her a rare smile. More of a lopsided smirk and she asks quietly, wary not to wake Inuyasha “Are you finished, Lord Sesshoumaru?” I nod slowly, marveling at her stillness.
She is usually a hyper child, often overly excited and noisy.
Though the presence of the pup seems to have calmed her.
Perhaps it is a partial reconciliation. An obligation she keeps well, a responsibility to keep her occupied.
Though, what will come of it when he grows older, and questions his boundaries?
I am fearful of that day. Can one travel far enough that they escape society’s cruel words and fears?
I shake these thoughts as I turn from the edge.
Not permanently, one day I will return to the edge of existence, but I am resolved for the moment.



2005
Robin (Laura K)
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