InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Vying for Dominance ❯ New Day's Light ( Chapter 9 )

New Day's Light

 

 

Kagome didn't know how long she had slept, only that it was long enough for her body to catch up with the fact that she had pushed it far beyond its limits. She awoke stiff and sore, every muscle cramped and tight from overuse. She felt heavy, even the smallest movement taking the greatest effort. But even so, it was a welcome kind of pain, the kind that was just a small reminder of even more welcome memories.

 

Reluctantly, she blinked past the heaviness of her drowsy awakening and opened her eyes. The dim flicker of firelight blurred into her vision, and it took a moment for her eyes to take focus on her surroundings. When she did though, and she saw all around her the soft pile of furs and silks stretched out in the great cavernous den, her heat fluttered faintly as the memories of the night came back to her with vivid clarity.

 

A soft smile rose on her lips when she realized that some of the heaviness she felt was not her own, but the weight of his arm where it was wrapped around her to hold her close to him. There was something so endearing about that gesture. To be able to wake and still be held so securely in his strong embrace, to know that even though the night had past he was still with her, still wanted to be; it meant more to her than any words could ever express.

 

She could feel the rise and fall of his chest against her back, the steady rhythm comforting; but painful as well. It made her think of how wonderful it felt to be there, with him, so warm and content. It made her think of how much more wonderful it would be to be able to wake up like this every morning, to have pains forgotten simply by waking to find herself safe and secure, wrapped in the comfort of his embrace. It made her think of what ifs that she knew could never be, dreams of a life that wasn't hers to have.

 

It hurt to think that she would never feel these things again, never be able to be with him like this again. It hurt, but then, she had known all along what would come of their time together. She had known it would be nothing more than a memory once their time together was at its end. So then why did it feel like more? And why was she wishing for just a little more time?

 

Shifting herself slowly and carefully, she turned to face him. Her movement caused him to stir, but his reaction was groggy, not quite a conscious act as his arm shifted against her to find a more secure position that would hold her to him once more. He was sleeping; and she smiled, but it was a trembling gesture, something wistful, dreamy, but broken by the understanding that dreams could never live in reality.

 

Lifting her hand from her side, she trailed it delicately across the deep-cut crimson markings that ran in stark lines across his cheek, threading her fingers through strands of moon-spun silver to brush them back from his face. All the ice and armor he wore were stripped away, all of the blood and battles, all of the trials he faced and conquered; and without them, only without them, he looked as though he were at peace.

 

He was youkai, a demon, what so many of her kind would call a monster. But she couldn't see that, couldn't see how a creature of such strength and will and beauty could ever be something so terrible. He wasn't. He wasn't a monster, wasn't any of those things that they would call him. He was only what he was. He never pretended to be anything else.

 

The Killing Perfection. Yes, he was that. His blade as deadly as the poison that coursed through his veins. His arm the enforcer of his will. But he had such power, so much that he could easily use it to destroy; and yet he didn't, not without cause, not without reason. And so he was Perfection. A creature who followed only his own will, his own code of honor, his own heart.

 

And when she looked at him now, it was not the blade that she saw that would corrupt the vision of so many others, but the beauty of all that he was.

 

It was that she would remember the most once she left. Not the consuming heat of the fires, not the burn of the poison on his lips, not the feeling of having his body become one with hers, not even the night of passion they had shared; it would be him, he that she would see in her memory, the knowledge that it was with him she had shared all of these things, with him that she had felt such wonder and passion, and for him that she had given so much of herself.

 

The memory of him, she would have with her always. Always, even after she had gone.

 

Her eyes became misted with emotion, knowing that the time had come. She blinked hard to try and clear the barrier of moisture away; but when she opened her eyes again, she was startled to be met with the piercing gold of his. Taking in a short breath, her lips parted to try and form words; but she could find none.

 

There was darkness in her eyes, clouding the beautiful blues with deep tides of painful longings. It was understanding that could be found there, and resignation to the inevitable. Even without her saying a word, he knew what she was thinking.

 

“You are leaving.”

 

It wasn't a question, but Kagome nodded anyways. “I must.”

 

Her hand was still resting lightly against his cheek, but to feel her trembling touch now, now when he had no choice but to be hard; it was unbearable. He released her from his hold, lifting his hand to catch hers and pull it away.

 

Not wanting to see the look in her eyes, he trained his sight on the clutch of their hands, seeing in only that simple contact the vast differences that separated them, that made it impossible for them to ever be together. Her skin was tanned, while his was alabaster white; hers creased from wear and the softness callused from where she held her weapon, while his was flawlessly smooth and marked only by the crimson lines of his heritage; and where her slim fingers tapered into rounded nails that were brittle and weak, his sharpened into deadly lengths of fierce claws.

 

They were so impossibly different, made of different molds for different worlds. In the stillness of the night, where secrets were shared and rules were breached and broken, it hadn't mattered. But now, in the waking dawn, it was impossible to deny, impossible to ignore.

 

And he knew, as she did, that the time had come for them to recognize the barriers between them, to move on with their separate paths.

 

Releasing her hand, he pulled back from her and sat up. “I will take you as far as the river,” he said without facing her.

 

His voice was steadily measured, carrying none of the warmth he had shared with her only hours before. There was a part of her that hated that he could be so cold, but the larger part of her understood all too well. What she had seen, felt, experienced with him, the things he had let her see when he had let her past all of the barriers that concealed him from the world; those things were lost to her now. In hiding himself again behind the barriers of ice, he was acknowledging the reality of their situation, and forcing her to do the same.

 

Cradling her bare chest behind her arms, Kagome slowly pulled herself into a sitting position. Every movement was protested strongly by her aching muscles, but she resolutely ignored their complaints. “You don't have to.” She tried to make her voice as steady as his, tried to hide the painful waver that would tell him all too clearly she would have given anything for just one more moment.

 

She failed. He had heard it, though he wished he hadn't. She was too soft, her emotions to fragile. He should have know, and perhaps he had, that it would be painful for her to leave after what had transpired between them. But what he hadn't realized, what he hadn't even thought possible, was how hard it was going to be for him as well.

 

The pain in her voice, the knowledge that she was hurting; it only served to make him want to be the one to soothe her pains all over again, to make her forget hurt and fear, to comfort her as he should a mate.

 

Of course, he knew he couldn't, knew she wasn't his. No matter what he had indulged himself in the night before, no matter that he had taken her as he would have a mate and even allowed himself to forget everything about who and what she was to think, just for a moment, that she was; she wasn't his mate. She never would be.

 

He couldn't be the one to comfort her, couldn't be the one to ease away her pain, couldn't do anything but force himself to let her go.

 

“You are not capable of leaving this place without my assistance,” he replied. They were far below ground. And even if the barriers sealing the entrance, she would never have been able to make the climb. He made a vague gesture to the far end of the bed. “You will find appropriate clothing there. I will return shortly with your weapons.”

 

Nodding weakly, Kagome could do nothing but watch as he lifted himself from the bed and walked away from her.

 

- - - - - - - - - - -

 

Dawn had come, the sun cresting over the horizon in a brilliant blending of red and gold. The sky burned; but looking upon it, all Kagome saw was the fire she was leaving behind forever.

 

“Miko.”

 

At the sound of his voice, she turned slowly away from the sunrise to look at him. He was dressed fully in his rich robes and armor, his swords strapped securely at his hip. The difference was like night and day. In only moments he had transformed himself into the warrior, the assassin, the ruthless Demon Lord. Looking at him now, it was almost impossible to see the softness she once had. His eyes were hard, the golden surfaces a barrier against anything beyond. Even the fires of his spirit as they burned against her senses were muted by the cold of unyielding ice.

 

He was holding a small parcel out to her, and she looked at it in confusion.

 

“You must bathe,” he explained, “Lest the hanyou find my scent on you.”

 

In a daze, she reached out and took the offered clothing. Pulling it back to herself, she hugged the small parcel to her chest. “Sesshomaru?” Her voice was small, wavering with uncertainty, but she simply had to ask, had to know. “What happens now?”

 

She was looking for assurance, for some kind of promise for the future; but he could give her none.

 

“Some things simply can not be changed,” he replied. He watched as she nodded weakly in understanding, but when her eyes drifted away from his, refusing to look at him; he was compelled beyond reason, by an urgency he couldn't place and wasn't sure he wanted to, to give in to her this one last time, to bring her that small measure of comfort he could with his words, with his promise. He reached out to her, sliding his fingers under her chin and tilting it up so that her eyes would meet with his again. “You need never fear me, Kagome.”

 

Not just his word, but his promise, his vow. Never again would he strike out against her. But only for her could he make this promise. Only for her.

 

Her lips were bitter with salt when he leaned in to seal his promise with his kiss, the taste of her tears like poison to his very soul.

 

Only for a moment did he allow himself to linger there, to feel her sweet lips, to know her scent mingled with his own; but only a moment. When he pulled away, the finality of the gesture left him feeling empty and cold. But while he knew cold like no other, it was the emptiness that made him ache in ways he never thought he would know.

 

His eyes met with hers, but there were no words left to be said, nothing left to be done.

 

And so he turned, leaving her there by the river's edge, alone, as he was; empty and cold even in the warmth of the new day's light.

 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Awwwww. Wasn't that sweet :) Oh, wait, no it wasn't XD Lol, don't worry, though at one point in time, this would have been where I would leave it (it was supposed to be a one-shot…I wonder what ever happened to that? Of course, had it been a one-shot, I wouldn't have let it end so poorly, but I digress). There is still more to come, so don't loose faith just yet. Shadow always has something or other up her sleeve ;P

 

Well, later days.

 

Shadow