InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Walking Through Fire ❯ Windows to a Soul ( Chapter 3 )

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Inuyasha, but if you want to think I do then be my guest.

 

Walking Through Fire

by: Lara Winner

 

 

Chapter 3: Windows to a Soul

 

Consciousness returned to Inuyasha in stages. First came the awareness of a dull ache throbbing throughout his body, contracting each muscle in residual spasms. Then came the pounding in his skull that only intensified the ringing that filled his ears. Lastly his eyes blinked open, confusion overwhelming him as he tried to gain his bearings. It only took a moment for everything to come rushing back.

 

Inuyasha sat up so fast it made his head spin. His right hand clutched at the grass digging his claws into the dirt as his equilibrium slowly came back into balance. Casting a quick glance about he realized he was back in his forest and no longer trapped in the eerie nether world. The crazy bitch with the changing faces was gone too. He looked to the sky and sighed in relief seeing that it was only just beginning to turn gray through the dappling leaves. Dawn was almost there but it hadn't arrived yet.

 

As he rose a bit unsteadily to his feet it was then he took notice of the shikon jewel still tightly clutched in his left hand. He uncurled his fist and his eyes widened slightly as the jewel glowed a bright blue-ish white that swirled iridescent with traces of violet within the glass. He knew. He wasn't sure how but he just knew that it was Kagome's soul inside the jewel. It was time she got it back.

 

Hang on Kagome, I'm coming.

 

Taking to the trees Inuyasha raced back to the village at a breakneck pace, or rather, the hanyou tried to. He was moving far more sluggish than normal and his balance was horribly off kilter but he pushed himself to make it to Kagome before the coming sunrise turned the sky any lighter. As soon as he emerged through the tree line he picked up a sickly scent, one that usually preceded death. It hung heavy in the air like a low-lying fog drifting on a soft breeze from the direction of the village. He also smelled Kagome's blood and a lot of it at that. His stomach dropped as fear caught him in its cold grip.

 

It did nothing to ease the knot of terror winding tighter inside of him when he neared Kaede's hut to find Kohaku and Miroku sitting on the walkway steps, the monk trying to comfort Shippo who was sobbing brokenheartedly in his lap. Upon seeing him the sorrowful expression on Miroku's face grew shadowed but the sympathy in his eyes didn't waver. When the kit caught Inuyasha's scent his head jerked up from the houshi's robes and his red, puffy eyes narrowed accusingly.

 

"Where have you been baka? Were you waiting for Kagome to die before you came back?" he hissed angrily before beginning to wail miserably once again.

 

"Is she..." he couldn't bring himself to say it.

 

"No." Patting the kitsune's head almost absently, Miroku gave Inuyasha a pointed look. "I will not ask where you have been my friend but you must say your goodbye's to Kagome-sama now. She's fading quickly."

 

Hope surged through him at the houshi's words along with a rush of pure adrenaline. "She's not gonna die monk. I've got her soul right here." he said holding up his hand revealing the glowing jewel.

 

The monk gaped his eyes going as wide as wagon wheels. "Inuyasha how is tha-"

 

He didn't give Miroku the chance to finish his question. His one-track mind was already shifting its focus back to Kagome as he jumped the steps and burst into Kaede's hut, the others following right behind.

 

With as many times as Kagome had been on the brink of death, Inuyasha had thought he'd braced himself for the worst. But taking one look at the young girl lying on the futon across the room he swore his heart stopped beating. For a moment he really thought he was too late.

 

Her skin was ashen and as colorless as the flesh of any corpse he'd ever seen. Her eyes remained open but deep, black circles had formed giving her face a sickly and almost skeletal appearance. And there was the blood smudging her cheek, staining her green and white blouse that was discarded and lying in a heap beside the futon, covering Sango's hands as they pressed against Kagome's abdomen. Kaede was currently wringing out a bloody washcloth over a bucket of water that had become tinted pink.

 

`No it can't be…'

 

The denial echoed across Inuyasha's numbed mind as he realized the source of the crimson fluid was a series of distinctive lesions that burrowed deep into her body. His gaze dropped down to his hand, flinching at the rusty streaks dried to his skin and crusted around his claws.

 

Oh gods… I did this to her…

 

He crossed the room barely even aware that he was moving or even that he sank to his knees beside the futon once he'd reached her side. Sango's sigh of relief at his arrival was missed by the hanyou as was the hopeful look she sent to Kaede. The old miko however was intently focusing on Inuyasha's clenched fist with a peculiar countenance.

 

“I see your journey was successful Inuyasha?” she stated, her grating voice breaking the trance of his guilt and bringing him back to the task at hand.

 

The jewel in his hand pulsed in a bid to be released and he could only nod in response as he opened his fist. The blue-ish glowing orb pulsed again then rose into the air. All in the room watched with bated breath as the soul sought out its rightful owner.

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Kagome wasn't sure where she was but she was cold. A deep chill emanated from inside of her where she felt hollow and empty. There was nothing to see, just gray mist that seemed to stretch out to the vast reaches of eternity.

 

She was certain she was alone yet voices seemed to come at her from the mist, indiscernible and yet belonging to someone just the same. She tried to make sense of her surroundings but her thoughts were jumbled and where memories should have been there was nothing but a blank void.

 

She shivered. The cold was biting, almost numbing, and no matter how she curled in on herself there was no warmth to be found. From the medley of irrational musings came the coherent thought that she should be frightened.

 

Kagome should have known what that meant, she was certain, but there was nothing inside of her except ice and emptiness.

 

_______________________

 

 

Transfixed, Inuyasha watched intently as the glowing jewel was absorbed inside Kagome's body. Unsure what to expect, he flinched when a choked cry erupted from Kagome's throat. Then the blue glow engulfed her body, spreading out from her chest through her limbs until every inch of exposed skin seemed to radiate her inner light.

 

Slowly the wounds on her stomach began to close, sealing up from the inside out until not even a blemish remained as a reminder of their existence. The deathly pallor of her skin darkened with lively hues, turning from gray to its normal sun-kissed bronze. Even her eyes lost their vacant stare, the milky sheen that obscured them fading as their natural shade returned, just before their lids slid closed.

 

Inuyasha could hear her heartbeat increase, steady and strong. Kagome's chest rose and fell with a soft sigh as she slipped into a natural slumber. The coil of fear inside of the hanyou's gut began to ease but the loss of anxiety left him feeling drained and queasy, raw and vulnerable.

 

Clasping Kagome's hand in a death grip, he dragged in a ragged breath. The others were crowded around with Shippo petting her ebony hair in soothing strokes and Kaede chanting a prayer for the young girls well being. His gaze fell to his blood crusted claws. The sick feeling in his stomach grew worse.

 

He shouldn't have lashed out like he did. What if his claws had gone deeper? What if he'd killed her? What if when she awoke she remembered?

 

He clenched his fist, his shoulders slumping in defeat. No matter how he tried to protect Kagome he was always the one to hurt her the in worst ways. He wanted to break something. He wanted to smash his fist through the floor boards of the small hut. Something. Anything to vent the frustration he felt at his own inadequacies.

 

She was better off without him.

 

Of course he'd always known that. From day one when she freed him from the Goshinbu, all he'd done for her in return was bring her more trouble than she'd ever deserved. If he cared about her at all he'd bring her back through the well this very moment and then destroy it so that Kagome could never return. It would be for her own good. Her family could care for her and then she would be safe.

 

Safe from him and his fucking claws. Safe from the selfish bastard that always seemed to break her heart…

 

He bit back the disgruntled growl that rose in his throat and held her limp hand all that much tighter because he wouldn't let her go. He was selfish enough to keep her by his side, if only because he could no longer envision his future without her in it.

_________________________

 

 

Kagome was content to drift in her sea of hazy confusion until the burning began.

 

It started like a heavenly spark of warmth but it didn't stop. It spread through her like a wildfire getting brighter and hotter until she started to feel something other than confusion. But still her mind was fuzzy and as unclear as the mist around her. And when the mist began to move, the voices echoing around her blending and merging Kagome remembered what fear was.

 

A piercing, gut wrenching adrenaline rush took hold of her. Afraid, Kagome called to the one who would chase her fears away. It was instinctual. Habitual. The name came to her without thought or even any real sense of comprehension. She just knew and so she called…

 

“Inuyasha!”

 

And from somewhere out of the swirling mist a disembodied voice replied, “As you wish.”

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Hours had passed since dawn broke over the horizon. One by one the hut's occupants had succumbed to their own exhaustion, all but Inuyasha.

 

The hanyou was wide awake and keeping a silent vigil over his miko from the future. Free from the close scrutiny of his companions, Inuyasha had long since let his guard drop. Surrendering to the desire, he had lifted Kagome from her futon and placed her in his lap, cradling her in the protective circle of his arms. Her scent drowned his senses, warm and heady, as he buried his face into her hair.

 

He sighed… then nearly jumped out of his skin as trembling fingers attempted to caress his cheek, only they ended up around the vicinity of his chin.

 

Thoroughly startled, he pulled back to see Kagome's face and found her slowly rousing. She tried to open her eyes and focus but was still too disoriented. Her hand fell back to rest against his chest as she groaned softly.

 

“Inu…ya…” she whispered.

 

“Ssshh! Don't talk.” He said more gruffly than necessary. “Don't even fucking move, just sit still and keep quiet. I've got you.”

 

Kagome blinked twice more before cracking one eye open to give him a weak glare. But almost instantly her expression softened. He looked a bit haggard and very tired. Little worry lines creased his brow and his jaw was set, a sure sign that his emotions were in turmoil. It was obvious this was taking a toll on him.

 

Along with that thought came what little she remembered. It was fuzzy at best- Inuyasha leaving her an opening to shoot Naraku, Kikyo at her side as they fed the purifying energy that engulfed them and then nothing but the inky darkness that seemed to swallow her- and she wished her head wasn't quite so dizzy so that she could make more sense of everything.

 

Was Narku dead? What of the others? And Kikyo, was she…?

 

Gaining a little more strength in her voice she managed to croak, “Is everyone… alright?”

 

It was Inuyasha's turn to offer the girl in his arms a slight, rueful smile. He shouldn't be surprised, this was Kagome after all and her main concern was always for another's well-being before her own. It was one of many things made her so priceless, that and the fact that she had no clue just how refreshing her concerns were in his world where compassion was a weakness that got you killed and it was always every dog for himself.

 

“You don't worry about them. They're fine, all things considered. And didn't I tell you not to talk!” he groused.

 

Kagome merely grinned, a small sigh escaping her as she snuggled closer into Inuyasha and closed her eyes once more. He studied her peaceful expression carefully, even checked her scent to make sure she was fine, and finally relaxed. He tightened his hold and tucked his face into her hair, for the moment content.

 

The minutes ticked by in the comfortable silence. Inuyasha's thoughts continued their previous trek down the desolate path for the future as he contemplated what should happen next. He knew what he wanted. She was alive and well and he would give anything, and he meant anything, to keep her that way. But what about the rest? Things like a relationship and all that other crap he wasn't sure he was capable of. What if she expected it? What if she didn't?

 

Maybe he shouldn't worry. Kagome had yet to make her own decisions concerning them.

 

As if on cue she broke the silence. “Inuyasha?”

 

His ears perked and he stiffened realizing that Kagome was still awake. She was so quiet and still he thought she'd fallen asleep. Apparently not. “Yeah?”

 

“Was Naraku destroyed?” She asked hesitantly. “I don't remember much of anything that happened.”

 

“Fucking bastard is finally dead!” he exclaimed.

 

So she doesn't remember. Thank the Gods for small blessings.

 

Only now Inuyasha worried about how much to tell her. He didn't want to upset her all over again and he'd promised to tell the others everything that had happened as soon as Kagome was awake. What would they think when he told them about the jewel? What would Kagome think?

 

“And Kikyo… did she…?

 

“She didn't make it.” was all he trusted himself to say.

 

Kagome looked up at Inuyasha's face and instantly regretted opening her mouth. He swallowed hard and stared the far wall refusing to meet her gaze. She could feel the agony reflected in his expression and felt it as if it were her own and her heart broke a little more at watching him suffer. Scalding tears filled her eyes but she refused to let them fall. He would need her to be strong and so she would, for him.

 

But she wasn't a fool. She knew Kikyo's death could change everything. But then Naraku was also dead and that did change everything. What would become of them now? With all the jewel shards collected, would Inuyasha really need her anymore?

 

“I'm sorry.” She breathed in the softest of whispers. Reaching up he turned his face forcing him to look at her. “I really mean that. I'm so sorry it ended like this.”

 

He wanted to pull away and tell her to mind her own business. He didn't want her to see how much he needed her to touch him and he was weak for it. And there she went again being typically… well, Kagome. When she had every right to gloat that Kikyo was gone, instead she looked at things from his perspective and felt sorry for him. He didn't want her pity but he didn't want her stop touching him either.

 

Before he even realized what he was doing, Inuyasha's hand came up and covered her smaller one and pressed it to his cheek.

 

And this was how they were discovered by Shippo a moment later.

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A.N. - Don't you hate it when someone kills the mood? Then again in their case someone always kills the mood. So next chapter our favorite hanyou gets to take the hot seat and play fifty questions… poor Inuyasha.

 

Thanks for reading!