InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Want To Be Your Slave ❯ Denial ( Chapter 14 )

A/N: Mwaaaaaaaaaahahhaaaaaaaaaaa!!! An early update!! ^.^ Enjoy, folks!

 

P.S.: Please don't kill me when you read the ending.

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Chapter 14 - Denial

 

Gotta stop these thoughts about you
Gotta learn to live without you
Gotta find some freedom for this weary slave
'Cause I'm hungry for you
And I'm longing for you
And I'm burning for you…

 

-Carly Simons “Slave”

 

Raia found Inuyasha still frozen to the spot where Sesshoumaru said he'd left him. She had no difficulty recognizing the dark-haired, dark-eyed child - even without his typical ears, Inuyasha was the same quiet, shy puppy-like child who'd touched her heart. When she drew closer, she could see that there were silent tears rolling down his cheeks.

 

“Inuyasha.”

 

The hanyou did not turn towards her, did not look at her. It was as if he hadn't heard her. She frowned and came to stand in front of him. Inuyasha's eyes were staring fixedly down the corridor and with a pang, she realized that this was the way Sesshoumaru must have gone when he left him. She looked his wide, teary eyes - so innocent and childlike but still full of deep pain. Raia's heart wrenched at the sight; how did the Lord have the heart to leave him like this?

 

The thunderstorm had begun; heavy rains lashed down with fierce winds. The open corridor where he stood faced the gardens that he and Sesshoumaru had been looking at, with the result that the rain had completely soaked the back of his clothes and hair. But Inuyasha did not seem to have noticed. Thunder clapped loudly but Inuyasha didn't even blink. Raia grew worried.

 

“Inuyasha?”

 

No response.

 

“Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru-sama has ordered me to take you your room.”

 

At the name of his Master, Inuyasha jerked out of his stupor and turned suddenly towards her. The circumstances seemed to register to him for the first time; it was his human night and there was a fierce thunderstorm right outside. Raia had seen him on his human night.

 

Raia frowned as the now human child shied away from her as if afraid that she would beat him. A shiver of pure dread seemed to pass through him and for a moment, Raia had a strange urge to hold him, to tell the child that everything would be fine. But she couldn't forget that until the Lord stated otherwise, Inuyasha was still Sesshoumaru's slave and the young heir would not appreciate anyone coming anywhere close to him, even for so innocent a reason.

 

“Inuyasha, you must come with me. If the other demons in the castle know of your secret…”

 

There was no need for her to say anything further. Inuyasha nodded quietly, even as his muscles were tensed with fear and anxiety. The storm was so close.

 

Raia led him down a dark, rarely used corridor. A little way in was a line of old rooms that had fallen into disuse. This was the safest place for the hanyou. Since this corridor fell to the back of this wing of the castle, rarely anyone came this way; it was unconnected to any other parts except the gardens. Also, wherever the human walked, he left a trail of his scent so the closer his room was to the spot of his transformation, the better. It would be that much easier to hide the scent.

 

She walked ahead of him and unlocked the door to one of the rooms. Inuyasha took the cue and entered when she stepped aside and held the door open.

 

“Do not, under any circumstances, leave this room, Inuyasha,” Raia warned. “I am going to try and make sure your human scent stays within this room. If you open this door, the charm will be ineffective.”

 

Inuyasha nodded hesitantly and Raia turned to leave.

 

“Is Sesshoumaru-sama going to send me away?”

 

On hearing the small, frightened voice, Raia stopped but did not turn around. She didn't think she had the courage to look into those eyes. Inuyasha really considered himself the Lord's puppy. Was Sesshoumaru really so cruel as to turn him out for such a reason?

 

“I do not know,” she answered carefully. “He merely ordered me to put you in this room.”

 

“Arigatou,” Inuyasha said quietly and Raia left, shutting the door behind her.

 

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Sesshoumaru stood facing his giant window, looking thoughtfully at the storm raging outside. It was weird, the way this storm had suddenly come about. The last one had been only a few days ago; thunderstorms were not generally this frequent. Besides, the past few days had not even been that hot, nor had the day been cloudy or stuffy. In fact, it had been quite a fine day. The storm had come suddenly in the evening, almost instantaneously.

 

He scowled. That bastard Hiten…this was all his doing. He had brought this fucking weather on the Castle. He would be willing to bet this was his idiotic form of revenge. His last ditch attempts at getting even with him would have been funny if it hadn't inadvertently worked so well. Hiten had no way of knowing about Inuyasha's human night, or about the fact that he was so afraid of storms. His wild shot in the dark had hit the mark.

 

Even though he was disgusted and pissed off, Sesshoumaru could not help think of his sweet little puppy.

 

Did he even know himself during those nights? Did the human Inuyasha have the hanyou's memories or were they two separate personalities? He was more inclined to think they were separate. How could a hanyou and a human think and feel the same thing? There was no way his puppy was anything like those miserable humans…

 

How would he ever look at him, knowing what he became? How often were these transformations anyway and how long did they last? Inuyasha had been with them for barely a fortnight or so. Were they really so common? Was there even a pattern or would they come on suddenly? All those time he'd taken Inuyasha, had there always been a chance he would have suddenly found himself touching a human? The thought made him nauseous.

 

For the first time, he questioned the wisdom of taking a hanyou slave.

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Once Raia was gone, Inuyasha turned to properly see his room.

 

It was dusty and had the damp, musty smell of a place that has been kept close for a long time. Near the door, there was an old wooden cupboard. It must have been strong and beautiful at one point but now, it was old and broken in places. The design was outdated, unlike everything else in the palace. The floor was wooden and bare. Inuyasha looked around. In one corner of the room, there was a rolled up futon. There were some chairs and a table covered with white pieces of cloth. Evidently, no one had bothered to dust this room in a long time.

 

Touching the wall opposite the door, near the only window in the room, there was a normal sized bed, also covered with a white cloth. Inuyasha went over to it and began to remove the white overcloth. His hands were shaking from cold and fear. Inuyasha knew there was no chance he would be able to sleep but this is where he was going to have to spend the night, so he had to at least guard his human body against the elements. The sheets and pillows must have been very fine once, but now, they smelled funny.

 

Inuyasha was about to climb up when the wooden window right next to the bed rattled, threatening to burst open. Inuyasha squinted at it. The room was quite dark; humans' eyesight in the dark was very poor. He could not immediately make out where the latch was but he had to close it properly. The rattling noise was scary.

 

He went to the window and fumbled in the dark for the latch. His fingers could feel the rough wood of the window frame. He ran his fingers lightly along the surface, searching for any indication of a latch.

 

Just then, there was a small flash of lightning Inuyasha whimpered at the dull flash of light visible through the glass of the window. Almost immediately after, there was a clap of thunder. Inuyasha jumped at the sound. His finger inadvertently flipped the latch and the window slammed open.

Inuyasha cried out as the strong wind caused the window to crash violently against the outer walls. The glass pane of the window shattered and a blast of wind and rain soaked him. Most of the broken glass fell outside but tiny pieces flew in and littered the floor. A brilliant flash of lightning lit the room for a fraction of a second and Inuyasha looked up just in time to see angry, glowing bolts blazing across the sky. His eyes widened in terror. The lighting looked almost like an overturned tree skeleton; he'd never seen lightning like that in his life. They looked like claws…

 

A deafening clap of thunder followed that and a strong wind followed by lashes of rain struck hum. Inuyasha fell backwards, landing harshly on the hard wooden floor on the broken glass. He cried out in pain; everything hurt so much more on his human night. He'd fallen a little on his side and a throbbing pain began on his hip on which he'd landed, and on his wrist. Instinctively, he'd thrown his hands out to break his fall but the human child's reflexes were much slower than the hanyou's and he was not used to the slower movements. He'd sprained the wrist.

 

Lifting the injured hand to inspect the injury, Inuyasha saw shards of glass embedded in the flesh of both his hands. Small rivulets of blood were trailing down his dirty palm. The firerat kimono had prevented any other part of him being damaged but his bare hands had taken the brunt of it. Inuyasha hissed softly at the throbbing pain.

 

Taking care to not put any weight on his sprained wrist or bloody hands, he got up and backed away from the window. He cried out once again as tiny glass shards embedded themselves in his feet. Each step caused pain but he carefully made his way to the bed. His face fell as he realized that the rain from the window had reached it; the sheets and pillows were now wet and he could feel the blast of the cold, watery wind still.

 

His eyes fell upon the rolled up futon.

 

Trying to ignore the pain in his feet, he made his way to the futon. With trembling fingers, he opened it and unrolled it, laying it near the wall opposite the window, behind the wooden wardrobe. His wrist hurt from the action and the shards embedded in his palm sent shooting pain up his arms but that could not be helped right now. He had to find some way to get warmer. A hanyou cold handle a little cold but a human would fall ill in this whether.

 

The futon was frayed. He lay down on it and pulled the sheets over himself. Lying on his back, he opened his eyes slowly. Another brilliant flash of lightning illuminated large, dirty cobwebs woven at the corners of the room and near the wooden beams. Astray spider or two scuttled here and there. It could have been his imagination but he thought he saw one turn towards him…

 

Thunder boomed once again and he shot up straight in bed, clutching the sheets to his chin. No there was no possible way he was going to lie down again. He drew his knees to his chest and wrapped the sheets around him as best as he could.

 

As the wind howled outside, dark thoughts filled his head.

 

Sesshoumaru-sama. His master had left him; he'd been disgusted and he'd left him.

 

“Forgive me, Master,” he whispered quietly to himself. In the end, he couldn't even do this one thing right. He could make himself useful to his Master, who'd done so much for him - gone against his parents, made sure none of the servants hurt him, blessed him with his touch.

 

How could he have let this happen? He should have told Sesshoumaru-sama on the first day itself that this was his curse - that he turned human every new moon night. Then Sesshoumaru would not have bothered taking care of him all these days. That was what he deserved. Maybe Sesshoumaru-sama would have sent him back to the slavers immediately. At least then, he would not have this horrible guilt over having caused distress to Sesshoumaru-sama. After all, what demon would lay a hand on a creature like him, knowing what he was? Inuyasha had marveled at the fact that Sesshoumaru would touch a hanyou but surely, if he'd known his secret, he would not have tainted himself like that.

 

A sob escaped him as he realized that this was, indeed, what was going to happen to him. Sesshoumaru would throw him out of the castle and he would be once again captured by slavers. Perhaps they would be the same slavers, looking to pay him back; his new Master, Sesshoumaru-sama, had cut the leader's hand off, after all. They would kill him.

 

A cold wind swept in from the window. He began to shiver from the cold. His firerat haori didn't stay wet for long but his undershirt was wet and so was his hair. Human hair took far longer to dry than hanyou hair and the damp air made the process even slower. He ran a hand through the now tangled locks and was startled to find that his fingers didn't hurt anymore although they were stull bleeding, the glass shards embedding themselves deeper in his fingers as he carelessly ran them though his hair. They had gone numb. Funny. He hadn't even felt them get that cold.

 

But that was not his greatest concern right now. He did not care that his clothes and hair were wet and the weather was freezing and a human could die from an illness caused by the cold. The throbbing pain in his hip and wrist barely registered; he didn't even notice that the injured wrist had reddened and swollen. Even with the slavers, his human night had always been the worst but mainly only because he was then more vulnerable to their attacks - both physical and emotional - but this was worse. Before, he had accepted things as they were without expecting anything more than survival. But now?

 

Fresh tears rolled down his cheeks as he remembered the other thunderstorm night he had spent with his Lord. The way his master's strong arms had held him close and warm had made him feel so safe and…cherished. He put his arms around himself and held himself, remembering how good it felt to have his Master's arms around him, his comforting weight anchoring him, keeping him safe from the storm.

 

 

“…go to sleep, Inuyasha. I will not release you tonight.”

 

Losing something you already had is always harder than never having it in the first place. His human nights with the slavers had been spent in far worse places and conditions than this old room. At least it was not dirty or smelly. There was no leak; there was a relatively warm bed and sheets. But did all that matter when he didn't have his Master?

 

“Sesshoumaru-sama,” he whispered almost involuntarily to himself. The name was like a mantra; even saying it aloud gave him a measure of comfort.

 

I never wanted to be a slave, Inuyasha reflected. His fingers automatically went to the heavy collar around his neck, a sigh of his Master's ownership of him Soon, he would be forced to remove it. He remembered the day Sesshoumaru-sama had given it to him.

 

“This collar marks you as my property, puppy…you are not to remove that”

 

He had been so happy! Sesshoumaru-sama had really claimed him. This was actual proof that he belonged to the powerful Lord.

 

I never even hoped to be owned by someone of such power, Inuyasha mused.

 

He had been captured forcefully by slavers and treated badly and he had never thought being sold to someone would make his situation any better. Of course, he had never had a Master before - no one wanted a hanyou slave - but judging by the slavers' treatment of him, he had not expected it to be a good experience.

 

The days spent with Sesshoumaru-sama, however, had been the best days of his life. True, it had not been painless but Inuyasha knew that life never is. His eyes fell on the bright red hakama he was wearing - he remembered the night Sesshoumaru had taken him hard as punishment for injuring himself and reminded him exactly who he belonged to. He remembered how gentle he'd been the next day, allowing him to sleep in. In fact, Inuyasha had never been required to work when he was injured.

 

Tears gathered in his eyes as he remembered how Sesshoumaru-sama had forced him to rest when he'd been injured by the slavers. He'd always been allowed to sleep and recuperate after he'd been taken by his Master. These were luxuries unknown to a slave. No slave he'd ever known had been allowed to rest after his Master's use of him. Slaves were never treated as living beings. After the Master found his pleasure in him, he was expected to go on with his chores as usual. The pain that he suffered after the act was inconsequential. Yes, even after being given his well deserved punishment, which he had shamefully, secretly enjoyed, Sesshoumaru-sama had allowed him to rest and recover and then he'd gifted his slave with this priceless firereat robe.

 

Red can mean many things to many people but I give it to you because it is the color of courage…

 

Sesshoumaru was by no means gentle or kind by nature, but in his own way, the fierce, protective demon Lord had taught him to hope again.

 

Courage.

 

He felt the misery coil in his stomach and settle down heavy against his heart. He'd really screwed up badly. Sesshoumaru-sama had wanted him to be courageous but his Master didn't know what a coward Inuyasha really was. He'd taken all his kindness and good treatment without once thinking of the fact that surely, this would all end when his Master came to know what he really was.

 

A human…he'd known Sesshoumaru-sama despised humans, yet he'd never told him about his secret. If he'd been courageous, he would have. In all the luxury and excitement of being a favourite toy, he'd conveniently forgotten all about this night. He did not deserve to even be near Sesshoumaru-sama, did not deserve his fuck, did not deserve sitting at his feet, basking in the warmth of his Master's soft touches.

 

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Sesshoumaru's furious fist punched a hole right through his wall. Thin fracture lines spread from the point of impact, a little way across the wall.

 

He did not want to lose his little puppy dammit! He'd wanted the cute little hanyou back, the one he'd grown so fond of in just a few days. He remembered every little gesture - the way the boy's eyes lit up when he Sesshoumaru looked at him, the way he blushed when he teased, the way the puppy ears flickered whenever he played with them…

 

But he wasn't the same person now, was he? He was a stranger in his Inuyasha's body. A felt a small flash of worry as a thought occurred to him. What if they were the same person? What if the hanyou and the child shared emotions and thoughts? Was the human as frightened of thunderstorms as the hanyou?

 

Then he dismissed the thought. No, that was not likely. His Inuyasha and the human brat could not be the same, they just couldn't.

 

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In her room, Raia couldn't sleep. Wide, puppy-like eyes, filled with unspeakable pain and hurt haunted her.

 

That poor kid! What if Sesshoumaru really threw him out of the castle? The young child had already been through so much in his short life - he'd experienced pain no one his age should have to experience. He did not deserve the dog's life he would doubtless have outside the castle. Sesshoumaru's command of not harming the hanyou child had traveled like rapid fire through the land. Demons and humans alike had wondered at such care fore a child. Envious eyes wished harm upon the little hanyou, fortunate enough to strike Lord Sesshoumaru's fancy. When word spread that the demon Lord had kicked him out, these jealous jackasses would doubtless hurt him all the more out of vengeance.

 

Finally, she sat up in her bed, contemplating. She was itching to go out and at least see how he was doing but she controlled herself with difficulty. It really wasn't her place to interfere in Lord Sesshoumaru's affairs. He had displayed his trust in her by letting her in on the hanyou's secret. If she went into the room and broke the charm, the secret might well be out. Lord Sesshoumaru would never forgive her.

 

Raia's hands clenched into fists; she felt torn between duty and her gut feeling. On the one hand, she was not at all the type to interfere in other people's affairs; it was one of the things that had gotten her promoted to the rank of head of the servants. But on the other hand, the image of the sweet child, terrified and alone, refused to leave her. Her gut told her that something was going very, very wrong.

 

Taking a deep breath, she jumped out of bed and put on her nightgown and slippers. Consequences be damned, she had to make sure the little puppy-like child was alright. Sesshoumaru could punish her if he liked but right now, she cared more about the kid's well-being.

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A few hours later, the wet clothes, ceaseless tears and his various injuries took their toll. Around midnight, Inuyasha felt himself slipping from consciousness. He blinked and realized that it took an effort to open his eyes again. His head hurt and his nose was runny. Perhaps it was best to lie down after all.

 

In a daze, he lowered himself onto the futon and haphazardly drew the blanket around him. Ahhh. It felt nice to lie down. His body hurt. He felt his eyes closing.

 

Images of his Master flashed before his eyes.

 

-Clawed fingers tilting his chin up: “I told you you're my little puppy, Inuyasha. Puppies stay in their Master's room.”-

 

- “Maybe I want you as my slave forever, having to do as I command you…”

 

-His master touching him for the first time…

 

-…thrusting into his body…

 

-…-punishing him…

 

-…owning him…-

 

-…kissing him sweetly for the first time…

 

-…playing with his ears…

 

- “…I will always be there to protect you…”

 

- “…You are fine just as you are…”

 

- “…you're mine. I won't allow you to run away….”

 

 

“Sesshoumaru-sama,” he murmured blissfully. Some of his discomfort seemed to be fading. He almost felt as if he was back with his master. If it was a dream, then he wanted to live there forever. Perhaps he could sleep, just for a little while…

 

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Raia came to a stop in front of the door to Inuyasha's room. The charm had held. There was not even a hint of scent or sound coming from the room. It was as if it was empty.

 

She stared at the closed door. I'm going against my orders, she realized. She's never gone against her Masters' orders before. Whatever the Lords or the Lady of the castle commanded, she did. They had never made unreasonable demands, after all, and she firmly believed they knew the best course in the situation better than her but this time, she could not help it.

 

Her heart was thudding in her chest. Her gut instinct was screaming at her to open the damned door already. Raia hesitated.

 

“Is Sesshoumaru-sama going to send me away?”

 

Thinning her lips, brows furrowing with determination, Raia stepped forward and wrenched the seal off the door and threw the doors open.

 

The various scents hit her with almost physical force and she stumbled back. Eyes wide with fear, she turned around and fled.

 

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Sesshoumaru frowned as he felt Raia almost fly towards his room. What did she want at this time of the night? He was not in the mood to see anyone tonight. Whatever she wanted could wait until the next day.

 

He whipped around as the doors to his chambers flew open and Raia staggered in, panting.

 

“Raia,” he began coldly, “What is the-“

 

“Forgive me, my Lord,” she panted, interrupting him. “I went to check on Inuyasha just now…”

 

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed. “You removed the seal?”

 

On any other day, his quiet tone would have made her tremble with fear but today, it didn't even register.

 

“He is very ill, my Lord. I smelt sickness and blood-”

 

Sesshoumaru was gone before she could finish the sentence.

 

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A/N: Tell me what you think of this chappie! ^.^