InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ War's Shadow ❯ Reparations ( Chapter 25 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

25 - Reparations

"The mountain fell over."

As she finished pulling her hair back from her face, Rin angled her eyes upward, lighting on Ashitera who was standing a few steps away, cocking her head quizzically in the direction of Eido's burial site. And Elif's, came the melancholy addition. But the child was right. What had been a towering, jagged peak looked like it had melted, crumbled, and collapsed over on its side. It was not like Mt. Hakurei; the mountain still existed, but it was not nearly as imposing as it had been, and she supposed that was fitting considering the end of Eizan's reign in the north.

The sun was setting a dusky orange behind the wrecked mountain, but the smothering heat remained, and her long, thick hair had suddenly become an enemy, like a woolen blanket hanging down her back in the humid air. It was oppressive. And as she continued trying to address her discomfort, Rin carefully rolled each sleeve up to the elbow, blowing wisps of hanging hair out of her face as she contemplated the child that had been returned to her care.

Rin was not exactly sure of what to tell Ashitera about Elif and the others. She supposed it was a great deal for the little girl to absorb, especially given that Ashihei's death was not so far removed from her mind. And so Rin wondered if it would be best to take her cue from Ashitera and answer questions as they came. Right now, though, the entire affair was far off; Ashitera was focused in on childish exploration of her surroundings, and the back of Rin's thoughts were centered on Aite, which was why she kept pensively looking in the direction Sesshoumaru had disappeared. She anticipated the sound of running paws to be heading in her direction any moment; an enormous, chocolate-furred body to come hurtling out of the trees in search of her.

Together, they were nearly infallible. Tenseiga was always happy to help, it seemed, even if its master tended to be more reluctant. She only hoped that remained true with Tenseiga's new form.

But when he did return, a solemn white figure, it was by himself, and the silence of the place became even more deafening. Rin recalled being in almost this exact place with Kanaye just two days earlier; strange how it seemed like an age had passed since then. Her ears could remember the scornful, stressed tone of his voice as he had ordered her away. Aite had tugged at her, had tried to get her to move away with a vehemence that had come from urgency. She could remember running as fast as her feet had been able to carry her, hindered by the weight of a child and a heavy weapon. And then they had dropped out of nowhere, dozens of them, armed and vicious and angry over their commander's recent death. Aite had instantly set to work in her defense, but Rin had quickly been caught up as well, had lost sight of him...

"Did you do that?" Ashitera questioned Sesshoumaru as he rejoined them, pointing a steady finger toward the demolished mountain. She looked nearly comical in the upswept hairstyle Rin had done for her in an effort to keep the little girl cool. She was like a miniature adult, all sincerity and seriousness, as though Sesshoumaru was supposed to answer for misbehavior. It amused Rin, the frequent role reversals those two fell into, and how obvious it was that Sesshoumaru, always so in control and competent, was generally at a loss as to how to deal with her.

"No," came his succint response, but he noticed that the child looked as though she did not believe him, and he found himself meeting a gaze that was quietly judgmental.

"I think you did," she finally whispered reverently.

Sesshoumaru stared back at Ashitera as though he had never seen her before then, wordlessly, his attention reverted to Rin. "The wolf is gone, likely moved by Kouga."

"Then we just need to go find Kouga," Rin stated brightly, and something in the back of her mind thumped with the peculiarity of those words. Times have certainly changed if I am so willingly wanting to find Kouga. She could still admit to not being overly fond of him, but the resentment had faded, and beyond all of that, Aite was a separate circumstance. She had been rude and awful to him for so long, that now she sincerely needed the opportunity to make amends.

"I can do it more quickly on my own," Sesshoumaru stated mildly, as though he was already prepared for her next statement.

"I'd like to come."

He nodded at that, amber eyes turning back to follow the actions of Ashitera, who was kneeling on the ground, peering into her cupped hands at some trapped insect, completely oblivious to those around her. The orange light of day's end enveloped them all, and Rin felt such an all-encompassing contentment. To have everything finished. To be here with these people, this child who had clamped onto her heart, and this man who had held it securely, from childish fascination to grown devotion, changing with her and what she needed, ever since that day in those woods years ago. They would restore Aite. They would return home to Jaken-sama, to Ah-Un, to the old life she wanted to reclaim. This was inexpressible gratitude, love for her life in its purest form.

Unable to relay the feeling into words, she reached out and grasped the hand hanging loosely at his side, wrapping her fingers around his, which instantly pulled that inspecting gaze away from the child and back to the woman.

"He can still be saved," Sesshoumaru assured her, taking the sign of affection as a signal of worry.

"I know you can save him." And even if you cannot, you will try. Not because you want it, but because I do. Is it possible to adore you more than this?

"We're going," he prompted Ashitera, who was bathed in the sun's setting glow. She whispered something to the winged insect held in her cupped hands, then extended her arms with a flourish, allowing the dragonfly to flee its captivity, hair falling loose with the movement. She turned a wide, fanged smile on them then. "I bet Jaken-sama misses us."

"I am sure he does," Rin agreed with the child's assumption, turning to hold out a hand so that they could walk together. Ashitera's fingers folded into her own and they began trailing after Sesshoumaru as the sun continued to set, darkening the sky into night, prompting the fireflies to put out their sporadic glow, accompanied by the growing chorus of chirping crickets. The day's oppressive heat slowly began to dissipate as they walked, and Rin listened with a pained smile as Ashitera pestered Sesshoumaru's back with an endless stream of chatter.

"Ses-shou-ma-ruuuuuuu!" came the name expressed in sing-song fashion. "What type of tree is that?"

"Cherry."

"Where did Inuyasha go?"

"Home." And good riddance.

"And Kagome-san, too?"

"With him."

"What's your favorite color?"

"I don't have one."

"Is that big ogre coming back? Inuyasha says he---"

"Rin," came the growled name as the stoic white form stiffened and came to a halt, back muscles clenched as though having to restrain his hands from encircling the child's throat of their own accord. Ashitera peered up at him questioningly, then seemed to get the hint. She tugged gently at Rin's sleeve and whispered to her, as though that had any chance of going unheard when he was only steps away.

"He's mad."

And at that, Sesshoumaru kept walking, feet crunching through dried fallen leaves, honing in on the faint smell of wolf that was directing him to their destination. His ears kept track of the night sounds all around them, silently absorbing and disposing of them as natural and non-aggressive. He listened to Rin's whispery voice as she knelt to eye-level with Ashitera, and the attempt to soothe the child's injured feelings.

"Sometimes Sesshoumaru doesn't like to talk very much. Why not just ask him one question at a time? I'm sure he'll be happier to answer them if there aren't so many."

Ah, she of all people would know, he thought. She had had to learn that in her own way, though, certainly, Rin had never been as prone to aimlessly chattering as this girl was. The footsteps behind him quickened until they had caught up, and he waited, feeling like there was a bull's-eye between his shoulder blades, but the barrage of questions ceased and he was unspeakably grateful.

The uncertainty of the girl's permanent placement was weighing on the back of his mind. He supposed that if all else failed, he could always resort to taking the child to Zadi. The woman had felt she would be better off with an influence of what the girl was; a demon and a human. But Sesshoumaru was not a parent; could not be, most especially to a child of this dual nature. Beyond what would be the hypocrisy of all he had ever spoken against hanyou, he had no desire to do it, no will.

And all of those years ago...he had refused to take over the care of Inuyasha for the same reasons, but that decision had been born out of hatred and resentment, against Inuyasha, his father, and Izayoi. There was not that same self-righteous fervor to guide him swiftly to a decision this time. He did not dislike this child, but there was a creeping sense of responsibility, and he hated that very much.

There were others, though; Ashihei's other half-demon children, creatures spawned off his random trysts with human women. But how many? And where? Would those women also be willing to take over the care of a child that was of no direct relation to them? Sesshoumaru had little faith in Ashihei's ability to choose human women who were respectable and decent. Still, that remained his best option.

"Ashitera," he called, had only to wait an instant to hear her feet hurriedly carry her to his side.

"Uh-huh?"

"You've said before that you have brothers. Do you know their names?" he asked, feeling sly for pulling these details out of her. As bent as she was on remaining with himself and Rin, he could imagine she would have clamped her mouth shut if she'd had any idea of what he intended to do with the information.

"Kyouru nii-san!" she instantly chirped. "He is missing two fingers," she said with sorrowful empathy, holding up a hand and tucking the index and middle fingers as though to relay her brother's suffering. "And there is also Chi nii-san!"

"And do you know where they live?"

"Hmmm," she hummed thoughtfully, eyes rolling skyward. "Kyouru nii-san lives near a village. They can't grow things well there. And Chi nii-san lives with other people."

Not much help there, came the solemn thought as he listened to her. "Chi" sounded like more of a nickname, and so it would probably be best to try to track down the other, since he had more information. A half dog youkai named Kyouru living near a desolate human settlement and lacking two fingers. It was more than he'd had, at least.

They left the cover of the forest and stepped out into a clear, starlit night. This area was very dry, had apparently been spared the rainstorms of late because dust was clouding at their feet and the vegetation had a brittle, unhealthy tinge to it. He led them toward the wolf tribe's mountain lair, certain that he would not have to take them the entire way before they were sensed and met, and he was right.

As he had been eyeing a sheer cliffside, considering whether to leave Rin and Ashitera behind at this point, his head swiveled with the sweeping wind and stood still, waited, as Kouga and his wolves made their way toward them, emerging from the dry brush as though having been coughed out of the earth. Upon laying eyes on Kouga's furred comrades, Ashitera gave a gleeful shriek and ran headlong toward the small pack, only to be stopped short of her goal by a pale clawed hand that descended like a bolt of lightning from above, catching her by the sleeve.

"You do not fling yourself at a pack of wolves," Sesshoumaru snarled at her, appalled that it was necessary to even relay that bit of information. Certainly, this girl had no sense of when it was proper for her to respect and fear something. Rin stepped forward and hauled Ashitera up into her arms, and he could hear her heart thudding rapidly, likely at how differently she had seen the end result of such a careless act within her mind.

"My wolves won't hurt her," Kouga supplied with certainty, stepping forward as he gestured for the beasts to remain behind.

"It is a lesson in common sense. The next time, it may not be your wolves she's running to," Sesshoumaru answered irritably.

Kouga nodded at that. "She seems to be pretty comfortable with them." His blue eyes swept from the pouting Ashitera to the one who held her, and Rin met that gaze, a heavy silence descending as though both were waiting for the other to speak, and finally Rin found her voice.

"We're here for Aite," she said quietly, voice stiff and polite. "You moved him, didn't you?"

"Aite? Is that what you called him?"

"I...didn't know his true name," Rin offered apologetically.

Kouga shook his head, shrugging his shoulders with careless ease. "If he answered to it, then it was good enough for him." The racket from the crickets claimed the air then, and he glanced at Sesshoumaru who was standing apart, appearing willing to have this settled between Rin and Kouga. "You know," Kouga went on slowly, eyes flickering back to Rin, "he was with me for a long time. He may not have looked it, but he was pretty old. And age aside, he was one of my best..."

"We want to revive him," Rin interrupted quickly, looking disturbed by something, and again, Sesshoumaru could hear her heart speeding up, thumping raucously inside her chest.

"Revive him? He seemed reluctant before," Kouga answered, gesturing vaguely at the looming youkai lord. "I'm glad to hear that he worked on some of that fear, especially since he was one of those who caused it." Rin froze at that, and Kouga smiled ruefully back at her. "It seemed like justice at the time, when I brought him to you. Who better to help protect you than one of those responsible for your death? A debt repaid. He was the last of them. The rest have died of violence or old age, but he was still here; he was always different from them."

"He was there," she murmured, eyes turning inward to those hectic, shaking memories of running, but never fast enough, trying to reach someone who could save her. Chased down like quarry, cut down at the careless order of a wolf demon who'd had no use for humans. All dark, rippling fur and sharp claws and shiny, white fangs, and that heart-rending terror that had come from being so completely alone that no one would even look for her, would even notice she was gone.

"Do you still want him back? It's even now. You don't owe him anything."

Rin's vision blurred, tears burned her eyes and she tried to blink them away as a confusing menagerie of feelings warred within her. She set Ashitera back on her feet and folded her arms together defensively. She could see them even now, as though she was still that girl looking back over her shoulder, watching them easily closing the distance on that dirt road. Her ears could still so easily conjure up those horrible, animalistic, guttural sounds they made, so predatory. She glanced up at the hovering night sky and recalled that that was the last thing she had seen that night; pinned down, watching the trees sway overhead as her life darkened, ended. And then...

She shook her head to clear it and glanced toward Sesshoumaru who was watching her intently, as though awaiting a final decision. How strange...that Aite and the other wolves...they had been with her at the end of that old life. And this demon, even more terrifying in his own right, had been the first thing she had seen when her life had restarted. Sesshoumaru had done unspeakable, horrible things before she had found him, and even since that time, but her heart had forgiven him for everything, because in him she had seen that even those regarded as cruel and heartless had something in them that would respond when met with kindness and feelings that were unconditional. And Aite...he was no different. His heart was changed in the same way as Sesshoumaru's. Whatever he had done before, he was not capable of it now, she was certain.

"I want him to come back," she choked out the words, defiantly staring into Kouga's face. And she felt intensely stupid, being so emotional over something she was certain the two youkai standing around her would not have given a moment's passing thought. Undoubtedly, they had darker things clinging to their pasts, and she was tired of clinging to this.

She watched as Kouga's eyes slid toward Sesshoumaru, an invitation, and the dog youkai moved then, quietly telling Rin to stay behind. She did as she was asked, feeling drained and exhausted. The weariness of the past few days had caught up with her, clenched onto her very bones, and she sat down in the grass, feeling, despite it all, strangely lighter. Ashitera mimicked her, sitting down across from her and blinking those innocent eyes.

"Are you sad?"

"No," Rin answered, smiling for the girl's benefit.

Those strange mixed feelings continued to circle inside of her head and heart, and she rested on each in turn, feeling for what was true. Several minutes passed that way until Ashitera reached out to pat her hand in a gesture of comfort, prompting Rin to grin at her with affectionate amusement. Such a sensitive girl. She does not understand; only that I am bothered. And then her ears picked up what she had expected earlier, what had given her nightmares for nearly a decade, and what relieved her heart now. Rapidly-approaching paws pounded toward them and she turned to watch as a massive canine body cleared the low-growing brush, pursuing her again, and this time there was no fear.

"Aiteeeee!" Ashitera crowed happily, jumping quickly to her feet.

Aite halted a few yards away, having to plant his feet to keep his forward momentum from pitching him into the waiting girls, tail wagging madly as Ashitera clambered onto him, arms latching around his neck as she squealed in delight at his sudden reappearance. And Rin found herself caught up in the little girl's joy, got to her knees and began petting and scratching any part of him she could reach, finally settling on rubbing his ears and giggling at the look of pure bliss that seemed to seize him, a feeling that seemed to prompt him to start licking her face with unapologetic fervor.

And as the two youkai followed the renewed wolf's trail and found the scene before them, Sesshoumaru glanced sideways at Kouga.

"It appears your plan worked...mostly. But I still don't believe that she likes you."

Kouga shrugged, grinning lazily. "She doesn't have to like me. I'm fine with this."

"I still don't like you."

"That goes without saying, doesn't it?" Kouga smirked, then whirled and evaporated along with his companions.




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His eyes opened to find painfully bright sunlight invading the room through curtains that were wide open, inviting the day that he was still trying to avoid. And then Inuyasha blinked, noticed the shadow that moved to block his line of sight, and a furred, whiskered face stared back at him, a vague purring emanating from the chubby body of Buyo.

"Whaddya want?" Inuyasha mumbled to the cat, who stretched, claws extending to dig into the blankets on the bed. The ears twitched and Inuyasha eyed them with bleary resentment, thinking of how often he had been mistaken for a cat demon because of his own feline-like ears. The annoyance increased when he realized that Buyo had foiled his plan to sleep through the day. Every muscle in his body ached, felt as though it had been gleefully pounded with something blunt and heavy. And since he was in Kagome's time, with nothing to do, he figured the easiest way to make it through the boring trudge of the next few days was to sleep off the injuries, eat until his stomach imploded, and then go home.

Buyo leaned in tentatively to sniff at him until they were nearly nose to nose and Inuyasha exacted his revenge by snapping out a gruff bark, one that set Buyo's fur on end, incited a hiss, and sent the cat fleeing from the bedroom. He rolled away from the window, burying his face into the overly-soft mattress, exhaled a calming breath when he caught the lingering scent of Kagome. His ears registered the faint dinging of chimes outside, light voices, Souta's plodding footsteps up the stairs...and then, there it was. The smell that pulled him from the bed without thought. His feet hit the rug-covered floor, hands reached for his shirt and he shrugged it on half-heartedly, moving stiffly toward the door.

Damn you, Kawahira. At least you fared worse than I did. You'd better be rotting, jackass. Thoughts of evil intent rolled around in his brain and he considered ripping the taped bandages off of his stomach again. They made him itch. And what did a little open air ever do to harm a healing injury? Not a damned thing. But he had already tried it once and Souta had stared at the gaping, fist-sized wound as though his last meal was contemplating fleeing his stomach. Squeamish humans.

And so bored, restless, and hungry, Inuyasha followed the smell that had caught his attention, down the stairs, to the kitchen, and there he found Kagome's mother operating the kitchen like a professional. Pots and pans were sizzling with some stuff he couldn't identify from that vantage point; the rice steamer was making him contemplate devouring whatever was in there, and so he just stared in the doorway, blissfully inhaling the wonderful smells until she turned to grace him with a smile of invitation.

"Inuyasha, are you feeling better today?"

"Eh."

"I have something that should help cheer you up a bit," she replied sweetly, and then moved to rummage for something on the counter.

"I don't need cheerin---steak!" he crowed when she lifted the wrapped package for his inspection, and the gratitude his stomach was expressing simply could not be put into words. This woman cooked even better than Sango...and she didn't reprimand him for poor table manners in front of Kenji, either. "Kagome's not back yet?"

"No. Doctor appointments sometimes take a while, though. She should be back in time for lunch. I offered to go with her, but she wanted me to stay behind with you and recommended I cook a large meal. She had a feeling you would be hungry when you came downstairs."

Kagome, Inuyasha thought gratefully, I forgive the last osuwari you gave me...

"She also asked me to remind you not to go very far outside."

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled at the usual order, recalling the night before when Kagome had nervously fretted over the appointment for today. He had been sprawled out on the floor, intensely thankful for the peace and quiet and the welcomed fact that Sesshoumaru's hideous face was at least a good five hundred years away from him. Kagome had paced a bit and wrung her hands as her mother had cheerfully worked to soothe her nerves.

"But, Mama, what if she has ears?"

"Of course she'll have ears, baka," Inuyasha had mumbled. "She's mostly human. She's not gonna be some freak show."

"I meant dog ears!" Kagome had growled back, the tone of her voice snapping his eyes open to find her pointing a shaking, accusing finger toward his head. "Honestly, it doesn't matter to me what she looks like. My concern is explaining anything...strange...that shows up while they're doing the examination."

"Feh. Screw 'em."

"You don't understand! How can you be so calm about this, Inuyasha?!" And then her face had paled to an unhealthy gray. "Oh, dear God, I'm going to have to give birth in the Feudal era..."

"Sango does it," Inuyasha shrugged, and blinked as that finger was swung in his direction once more.

"You...don't understand!" she repeated with growing vehemence. And then the horrified expression had seized her again, prompting large brown eyes to become even wider. "Do they...do they actually look like human babies when they're born? Or...?"

"How the hell would I know?" Inuyasha muttered, sitting up to fully watch Kagome's growing meltdown. "And, like I said, she's only a fourth---"

"I should have asked Sesshoumaru...," Kagome murmured with an eerie intensity, resuming her pacing.

"Fuck that! Since when is that guy your best friend?" Inuyasha had barked his outrage.

"Inuyasha!"

"Calm down, woman!"

And then there had been that disturbing calm and her expression had morphed back to normal, as though a coping mechanism had kicked in and she allowed other things to distract her. "I'm hungry. I'm going to make curry..."

And as Inuyasha settled himself at the spotless kitchen table, sunlight cascading through the window, preparing to eat mass quanitites of food, it occurred to him...he was about to be responsible for this...person. He'd have to make sure she was fed and happy and safe and well-mannered. Well...he'd leave the manners to Kagome, but the weight of what was hurtling toward him suddenly smacked him in the face and he stared dazedly at the smooth wood of the table, recalling the fact that, for all intents and purposes, he really hadn't had parents and had not the slightest clue of how to be one. Did...something just snap on? Some instinct? His mother and father existed in only his earliest memories, there was little to draw off from there, but his mom had been a natural and his dad had practiced on Sesshoumaru first, for all the good that had done...

"Oh, man, what have I done?" he groaned, forehead colliding with the table in despair.

"Inuyasha!" came the surprised exclamation as Kagome's mother turned at the sound. "Is it the wound? Should I---?"

"Someone's gotta teach me before I can teach her," he muttered feverishly, eyes fixated sightlessly ahead of him. "That poor kid..."





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It had been easy to feel at home once more. Maybe it was because Zeshu had made such an effort to restore the place to some semblance of clean and respectable in their absence. Everything was very much the same as it had been before. Sashe noticed the nicks in the walls from her childhood playtime with Shinya, floorboards, swept and shining, still creaked in the same places, and when she had arrived, there had been white-petaled flowers set in a thin, dainty vase on the table next to the bed. Her father, naturally, had sneered at that and muttered something about Zeshu being a "shameless boot-licker".

Yes, it was eerily similar to how it had been when she was younger, but lacked two other people to make it complete. Mother...Shinya... But there were changes, as well. Mostly in Kanaye, who had taken to...hovering, for lack of a better word, she decided. When she had been very young, she could remember going weeks on end without seeing him at all, and now, it was bizarre and nearly stifling to see him lingering everywhere. She would walk outside for some fresh air and look back to find him perched on the railing, eyeing her with that creepy, forbidding stare. She would rifle through things that had been long-since stored away or forgotten, and look over her shoulder to find him eyeing her from the doorway. She would calmly sit near the fire at night, politely listening to one of Zeshu's stories, and he would find some reason to linger nearby. It was...disturbing.

Or maybe she was just expecting too much out of him. Perhaps after the months of constant fighting he was taking a break, relaxing. Even a demon as stubbornly violent and ornery as Kanaye needed to rest occasionally. But that made her even more paranoid, because those were not things he tended to do willingly without some disabling injury to keep him prone.

She waited for Mother, who had sent a message to let them know that she was coming. It would be strange, seeing both of her parents together in the same place after so long apart. It made her wonder how Kanaye would react, and she remembered those years he had spent searching for Lien, tracking her down, whether out of anger or regret, she still did not know. But she was certain that he had changed enough by now not to cause a regrettable scene. Oh, heavens, I hope so...

And so Sashe relaxed. She bathed...repeatedly, until her skin pruned, just grateful for the luxury again. She brushed her hair for long, silent segments of time, staring at the mirror, feeling strangely different from the girl that had once resided here. She slept...more than she could ever remember doing so in her life. She tried to help Zeshu with the housework, which made him so nervous that she finally gave up and just settled for vaguely straightening, arranging things while he cleaned. She hung window coverings, she pulled some of the nicer things out of storage from where Kanaye had packed everything up after her mother's departure. They had been left to rot along with the rest of him.

Inspired by Zeshu's initial act of kindness, she put out flowers in every room, trying to brighten up the innate dreariness of the place, and her father kept silent about it all, though she could tell all of the activity was starting to wear on his nerves. Still, he kept his thoughts to himself...until she began placing flowers in his room and then she got an earful about how his home was being turned into an "effeminate wasteland." And the fit of hysterical giggles that proclamation had evoked from her had only perturbed him more.

She was nearly sorry when it was time to go. Those months spent in Eizan's fortress had taught her to cling to what she knew and trusted, had taught her that she did trust Kanaye, and so there was a mixture of elation and sadness when she noticed the arrival of her mother and younger sister. She ran out to meet them and her mother clung to her as though certain she would disappear. And then there was Shinya, who hung back until their mother finished cooing over her, then reached out to clasp onto her hands and gave her own greeting in that soothing, familiar voice. They were a study in opposites, and time was only making that more pronounced; Shinya was shorter, with Kanaye's darker skin and their mother's honey-colored hair, while Sashe was taller, fairer-skinned, and had their father's silvery hair. A thorough mix of their parents save for some questionable aspects of personality, thankfully.

As usual, Shinya knew best what to do. She held back the questions that came pouring from their mother, always having had good instincts, and Sashe was grateful when she quietly asked their mother if it would not be better to wait for another time for the explanations. Then giving Sashe a faintly sympathetic look, she swept past them to greet Kanaye, who had exited the house and hung back, watching the scene with one of those carefully-composed expressions.

"Father..."

"Hey, kiddo," he extended the casual greeting, as Shinya fixed one of those knowing looks on him. There were times when he could swear this child could read souls. He had not seen her in several months and though she had not changed at all, there was that familiar gratitude at seeing her face again. Of them all, she made the most effort to reconcile with him, and that had been the standard from the time she had been able to form words. He looked up from her and just beyond Lien and Sashe to the two overly-built, very serious-looking youkai that hovered only paces away from her; armed, stiff-legged, and eyeing him. "What's the entourage about?"

"I told her she wouldn't need it," Shinya said apologetically.

"You always were the sensible one, weren't you?" he murmured, feeling that old slow-burning anger and resentment begin to gather in his gut. He began walking toward Lien and Sashe, hearing Shinya's light footsteps shadowing him, keeping an eye trained on those armed demons that had the sheer audacity to stand on his grounds as though they had any right to be there at all. His attention faltered back to Lien and it was easy to see that she looked the same, not that he was surprised. She had not changed at all since the day he had first laid eyes on her. Perfect, beautiful, flawless, inside and out...and so ridiculously wrong for him that he was amazed that they had remained together long enough to create the girls.

She looked up from where she had been fussing over Sashe, liquid jade eyes finding him and there was a menagerie of things that flitted through them; he could see them all. That same mixture of affection and resentment, distantly polite and wary. "Hello, Kanaye," she said in that familiar quiet, demure voice.

He wanted to fling all manner of horrible words back at her, all the ones he had been saving up for decades, and yet he found restraint from somewhere and only responded with a frigid "Lien." Then his eyes flickered toward the demons hovering not far away, their purpose evident and he fisted his claws in an attempt to keep from using them, absently mindful of two of the nervous faces around him. "I regret it all, Lien," he finally stated graciously, bowing his head in mock obeisance, as though to a queen, and she became even more suspicious of him. "How many times was it that my inexcusably violent behavior was turned toward you?" he asked her, raising his head back up, eyes gleaming with sarcasm, and she blinked at him in confusion.

"What are you talking about? You never---"

"Then why the guards if not to protect you from such a violent thug? Or were they from your father?"

She exhaled an exasperated breath at that, shaking her fair head as though just remembering that they were there. "They're not guards. They're escorts."

"And the difference is?"

"They're here to make sure you allow me to leave, not to protect me from you. Honestly, Kanaye, for someone as hardened as you are, you're certainly capable of being oversensitive."

And then he grasped onto her, arms folding gently around her in a challenging embrace, clutching her to his chest as his eyes slid dangerously toward the two "escorts" who bristled and reached for their weapons. Lien attempted to push away from him, and he finally released her, allowing her the comfort of distance. "I never did understand you well, did I? But if your fear of me has reached such a point, then perhaps you did the right thing in leaving. Although," and this time his voice deepened, descended into something more dangerous as he warned, "if you want them to be available for the return trip, I suggest you order them out of my sight."

Her face darkened and his eyebrows rose at that, certain that that was an expression she must have acquired from him over the years, but she did as he asked, turning and telling the guards to wait for them near the river, an order the two demons reluctantly followed. Lien, always so perfectly mannered and composed, was angry, he could see it, and her gaze flickered toward Sashe before resting on his face once more, eyes accusing. "You're as infuriating as ever, I see. Sashe says you've changed some---"

And at that, he laughed, prompting their daughters to exchange nervous looks.

"---but I don't see how," Lien went on, looking put off at his amusement. He could see the fear and fury seize her, and the laughter stopped as he prepared himself for the lecture to which she was so obviously building. "This is why I left. Of course you never raised a hand to me or to the girls, Kanaye, but words are just as damaging and you are quite skilled at using those as weapons. I can forgive you for a lot of things. I have forgiven you for many, many things and to preserve what feelings I have left for you, I had to leave. You are irresponsible. You bring trouble and pain to everyone around you. You spew hatred at people who love you, and view them with contempt for even trying. You hold onto grudges, fuel them, you make enemies because you don't care what comes of it!"

"Such endearing qualities. I would have left me as well," he muttered with dry humor.

Lien stormed on, ignoring the sarcastic remark. "I warned you! I've warned you before, have seen it before. We've all been caught up in your trouble-making in the past. And this vendetta with Eizan...how long did it go on? 500 years? 600 years?"

"Longer," he corrected.

"It's ridiculous!" she berated, as though having saved the words for a very long time; they were tumbling out as though the dam had been shattered. "And this time Sashe was involved because of it! Your temper seeks to destroy and it drives your enemies to involve your family. This was your fault! How could you let him involve her like this, Kanaye? Where were you?"

Sashe's mouth opened in protest then, feeling the unfair sting of those words. She took a step forward, inserting herself between her parents, turning a pleading look on Lien. "Mother, you're wrong. That's not how it happened at all. I was the one who---"

"Sashe," Kanaye snapped the warning then, jolting her into silence. "Don't argue with your mother," he rebuked, and his voice changed, turned to something calmer and more conciliatory as he extended his hands in a gesture of acceptance. "I offer you my deepest apologies, Lien. I'm returning her to you as safely as I could manage."

"Father---," Sashe began pointedly.

"Go get your things, Sashe, and take your sister with you," he interrupted in a tone that brooked no argument.

Appearing reluctant, Sashe turned and left them, Shinya following in tow, and Lien watched as Kanaye turned back to face her again, expression inscrutable. She studied his face, which was so familiar, but time and distance made her feel as though she did not know him as well as she once had. She could remember a time when she had loved him more than anything, had tried everything, had been desperate to make him happy. The silence between them became cold and heavy, and so she composed her voice, feeling the anger begin to melt. "Since when did you acquire the capability of apology? I've heard it twice today. And that's twice more than I can ever remember."

"It's a very recent development," he answered stiffly. "I use it when I come to the conclusion that arguing is pointless and unproductive."

"In other words, on the rare occasion when you won't allow yourself to finish the argument by beating your opponent into submission," she guessed, smiling slightly.

"You know me well."

Another deep silence fell, not even a breeze stirred, as though the earth was holding its breath. "Have you changed, Kanaye?" she finally inquired, appearing confused. "You seem the same, but there is also...," she paused, as though considering, "Perhaps my leaving was a good thing, if it provoked a change in y---"

"Lien," he stopped her then with the clipped name and she watched as those familiar golden eyes settled on her face with a depthless sincerity. "You and I are tied for eternity, whether we like it or not, because of those girls. And for that, you are welcome to come and go as you please. You are their mother. You are entitled to my protection, just as they are, and that will not change. I will always have some measure of affection for you because of this. You have seen everything, witnessed it all, lived it all, and that required a strength and patience that I can admire. However..."

"Yes?" she murmured, feeling something clench at her heart at those unexpected words.

"I will not allow you to take credit for any change that has occurred in me, because it was not your doing. Don't think so highly of yourself."

She blinked at that, taken aback as though having been slapped. "I...stand corrected then."

"Indeed."

Sashe and Shinya returned, breaking that stunned silence. He awkwardly accepted a sudden shy embrace from Sashe, who made him even more uncomfortable by whispering grateful words in his ear. Then she and her mother were gone and he was left with Shinya, who was eyeing him pensively, and so he turned to her, eyebrows upraised and questioning.

"Are you going or staying?"

"Going, but not with Mother," she replied, turning to watch as her mother and sister disappeared down the steep hillside.

He frowned in disapproval at the girl, voicing the complaint. "You're too young to be living on your own. I don't like it."

"I'm all right. I'm a lot like you in that way. Solitude doesn't bother me." She went quiet for a moment before adding, "You know...we want you to be happy, if you can be, whatever that entails."

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

She smiled that cute, cryptic smile, avoiding the question as she asked, "Why did you accept responsibility, Father?"

"Responsibility?"

"For what happened with Lord Eizan," Shinya answered, pale green eyes appearing troubled. "Sashe's involvement was her own fault. Why didn't you explain to Mother? She holds you accountable for enough without this to add to it."

He appeared thoughtful for a moment, as though considering for himself, then said in a weighted, exasperated tone. "Your mother is comfortable with seeing me as the root of all evil. It would probably terrify her to know that there are people out there that are worse than I am; people that will harm her and those she cares about without any provocation from me. Why encourage a new worry? She's secure in directing those feelings of fear toward me because I am familiar. And what the hell is that look you're giving me?"

"I'm proud of you," she said, grinning widely into his frowning face. "But I'll admit it's nearly scary hearing words like that coming from you. Would you like me to make you something to eat before I go? You're thinner than the last time I saw you. I guess Sesshoumaru didn't feed you very well, huh?" she teased.

"Who's the parent here?" he gruffly complained, staring at her in surprise as she started tugging him by the hand back toward the house. "And who in their right mind would let that spoiled bastard try to cook something?"





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There was no incense to burn, but Rin had done what she could.

Sesshoumaru watched the young woman's movements as she worked to assemble some sort of grave marker from the loose stones that had cascaded down the mountainside after its near-collapse. His ears remained alert, for he did not trust the landscape, prepared to cut short this attempt at giving Elif some sort of grave site if that telling rumble began again. The entire place still felt unstable to him, though only for natural reasons now that Eido's soul was no longer angry and lingering.

Ashitera sighed tiredly and crouched down beside his feet, arms crossing her knees, and head falling forward to rest wearily on those arms. He wondered why it was that she was so capable of sleeping anywhere aside from his home, because he was certain that once they finally returned, she would begin anew that trend of ceaselessly stalking him as Rin would sleep. The very thought made him weary.

His eyes followed Rin in the darkness as she found another suitable stone, worn nearly smooth, and began cleaning it off, her movements releasing clouds of dust. And, for a few moments, he saw beyond her, and what had been inside that mountain. That vindictive evil, a woman who had betrayed her family in order to fulfill promises she had made to him, an enemy who was destroyed and deservedly so, and another woman who trusted him far more than she should.

As the shifting clouds of dust rose skyward, his thoughts fell back to those moments when he had been trapped inside that dying mountain, arms full of a human miko who had expired because of her frail physiology, the need for air that was not there in the amount she had needed to maintain life. It had been strange, working his way through that collapsed maze, clawing and breaking his way through those nearly impenetrable walls of solid rock, and the entire time, feeling the life slowly escape from someone even as his own head had pounded from that crushing inability to breathe.

They were fortunate to be here at all, Kagome, that child...

Even me, he thought with rueful honesty. There had been some moments when he had wondered if he had met his match within that mountain, and not even from a corporeal enemy. It was strange where motivation came from in times such as those, tricks the mind played, and strength that came from something the mountain did not have, an irrepressible will. He was not certain when it had happened, but at some point something fundamental in his mind had changed, reasons for doing things beyond himself, something he would find himself sinking into without realizing it, and he wasn't sure what to make of it. A few decades earlier, he would have done what he wanted solely because he wanted it, and now...now there was something in his head that made him consider the ramifications before he carried through with a decision.

As in the case of the miko. He had paused at one point, feeling his pulse surge angrily into his head, thumping, warning him that even a being as advanced as he required something so basic as air to function. He had been able to hear his father's voice, a trick brought on by his faltering body, and then his mind had turned, considered two paths: leave her behind and exit the mountain to find Inuyasha and a feud that would have a new, more violent catalyst, one that would be based on something far more unforgivable than anything already between them; and then the other path, the one that would bring him the same fate as Kagome, whatever that turned out to be, but if seen through properly would restore things to their natural order. His father's grandchild, that ill-bred reminder of him, would be born, that miko's faith in him would, surprisingly, not have been misplaced, and he and his brother could resume what had become nearly comfortable; a half-hearted peace, often sparked to something more vicious and inflamed, a brittle relationship of mutual dislike and sullen acceptance built on top of a far more violent shared history.

It was that last path he had chosen. And he was not so certain that the decision would have been the same a decade earlier.

He blinked and was brought back to the moment, sight falling to Rin who was kneeling in front of the makeshift shrine, looking to be bent in prayer, her faithful wolf companion at her side. Was it because of her? Had his life so thoroughly shifted because of the subtle influences of one human woman? Something in his mind recalled that night when Inuyasha had been sickening from the effects of Ryuujin's attack, half out of his mind, but had had enough presence to tell Sesshoumaru that he would have returned for Rin because the girl held his soul.

Heh...is that so? Do you admit that I even have one at all now, little brother?

Rin rose to her feet then, turned to him, appearing to be excruciatingly exhausted, but thoroughly at peace. Perhaps it is less that I have a soul and more that I listen to hers occasionally, he mused with vague humor. She certainly has more than her share.

Her eyes dropped to his feet and he glanced downward to find the hanyou child sprawled in the dirt, having given up all claim to awareness as sleep had overtaken her. Rin moved to rejoin them, Aite padding lightly behind her, and she bent to retrieve Ashitera, who appeared broken and boneless as she was heaved up to one shoulder, limbs dangling. They set off walking once more, leaving Elif's grave site behind, late morning light threatening at their backs from beyond the shrouding cover of mountains. He listened to her tiring steps for a few moments before reaching over to pull the additional weight of the girl from her arms, wordlessly freeing her of a burden that was insubstantial to him.

It seemed her soul was speaking to him again.