InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ We've Been Here For So Long ❯ I Wanna Feel Loved ( Chapter 10 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: BlueDayDreamer678 
Enjoy and Please Review!
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / / Romance / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 12.06.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.0K | Visits: 1.1K | Status: Completed
Enjoy and Please Review!
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / / Romance / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 12.06.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.0K | Visits: 1.1K | Status: Completed
It was like a slap to the face, or even worse like a shot through the chest. His words twisted and churned in her mind and she felt herself jolt awake once again. Kagome rested a hand against her chest as her heart pounded against her ribs. She took a deep breath and tried to clear the tears that flooded her vision once again.
“Not again…” She cried, shaking her head. She wanted so badly to clear from her mind those words, his face, and those eyes of his. She just wanted to let go of this horrible pain constricting her throat and chest, but it wouldn’t leave her alone.
Kagome wiped at her wet cheeks and glanced across the room where Sango lay sleeping peacefully. She had come back to find Kagome in a state of hysteric’s, and sworn to beat the life out of Inuyasha. At least she had until Kagome told her the reason for his words, than Sango had looked at her with that same disappointed look, and told her she was going to bed. Kagome felt so abandoned, so alone. She didn’t have anyone now, except Koga. Though at the moment she didn’t want his comfort, she wanted Inuyasha’s. She wanted his reassurance that everything would be okay, that he still cared for her, that he didn’t abandon her.
“Stupid… stupid,” She cursed herself, shifting her hands through her hair roughly. She tried again to shake free the pain and memories. How could he just abandon her, why? Was what she saw in his eyes the truth? Did he feel betrayed because he loved her? Why did he leave her, and with such cruel words?
A loud sob escaped her throat again; one so heart wrenching it caused her chest to hurt as she continued to cry. She never felt such pain, not since her father had passed away. And to her this was just like losing someone all over again, only this time it was worse, because she would still see him around, but there would be bars there that she couldn’t pass.
Across the room Sango lay still her back turned to her friend as she cried. She had woken when the girl had, and she had heard her sobs, and feared for her health if she continued to cry so hard. She was in so much pain, and dwelling in a sorrow she brought on herself, and she was doing nothing to comfort her. Sango felt guilt begin to linger in her heart, Kagome needed someone, she needed comfort, a shoulder to cry on. So why wasn’t she the one moving across the room to comfort her?
‘Because you’re a coward,’ She thought to herself. ‘Maybe deep down I feel that she deserves it, because she hurt Inuyasha by going back to Koga”. Sango closed her eyes and pushed away those thoughts. Maybe Kagome did hurt Inuyasha, but how was she to know how deeply if she didn’t know that he loved her. Kagome was so naïve to such things, she would never notice his love unless he told her himself. So, maybe Kagome didn’t deserve this. Maybe she did need comfort, and then guidance to help her and Inuyasha make up.
“What have I done… what did I do,” Kagome sobbed. Sango closed her eyes and pushed back the tears that clouded her vision at the sound of her friends pleading questions.
“Kagome, it‘s gonna be all right,” She said. Kagome fell silent as she shifted to look at her. Kagome just stare with tear streaked cheeks and red blotchy eyes. Sango sighed and got up from her bed making her way over to her bed, and taking a seat beside her. She reached up to wipe at Kagome’s wet cheeks, trying to give her a comforting smile.
“He hates me,” She whispered, her voice hoarse and her eyes downcast. Sango shook her head and pulled her into a light embrace.
“He could never hate you, he’s just a little upset right now. Just give him time to cool off,” She whispered back. Kagome sat rigid in her hold as she started to cry again, this time lightly and hopelessly. Sango rubbed her back trying to calm her. It did her no good to get upset; Kagome was never one to be upset for long. But when her heart was injured she crumbled. She was so strong and yet so fragile at the same time. Sango admired her, and felt like an older sister to her. Kagome needed that kind of guidance, even if she was only a few months older than her.
“Calm down, it’ll be all right. Just take it easy,” She whispered. Kagome listened, and soon she pulled back with a sleep gaze.
“Will it really be?” She asked. Sango sighed.
“Eventually, just don’t let yourself dwell to long on this. You can’t let yourself lose it, not over this. It’ll be fine, just take it easy until things get better,” Sango told her. Kagome nodded, and Sango smiled at her again before she went back to her own bed and lie back down. Kagome fell asleep soon after that, and Sango let out a sigh before she tried to sleep again herself.
So the week passed by, and Kagome tried not to be too depressed. She spent a lot of time with Koga, seeking comfort from him and trying to fill a void that was born in her. She was afraid to be alone, because then she’d start to think and she felt so desolate and desperate for someone to be with her. She hated to be alone and she’d never felt that way because she’d always had the knowledge Inuyasha was there to fall back on. But that wasn’t true anymore, so she held onto what she had, and that was Koga and Sango.
“So, you are coming to that party tomorrow, right?” Koga asked. Kagome looked up from her dinner and smiled hollowly.
“Of course, I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” She replied. Koga knew her cheer was fake, but he didn’t know what else to do. She hadn’t said anything to him about why she was so sad, so he just ignored it, hoping it would go away. Kagome was always one to bounce back, so hopefully she would bounce back from whatever was getting her down.
“Great, I’ll pick you up at eight then. It’s going to be great, I promise you,” He told her with a smile. Kagome nodded and then turned back to playing around with her dinner. She had lost her appetite a while ago, but she didn’t want to go anywhere yet, not until she knew Sango was going to be at the dorm room.
“Do you want to go bowling?” She asked, looking up hopefully. Koga looked at her a bit confused before he shrugged.
“Sure, why not?” He replied. Kagome smiled and then hoped up from her seat. Koga laughed at her enthusiasm then left a tip on the table before they headed out.
“I don’t know what to do. It’s like she’s not there, I just hate how she seems so lost,” Sango said with a sigh. Across from her Miroku looked at her with a serious expression. He’d talked to Inuyasha just the day before and he had seemed a little distracted as well.
“If you ask me there both idiot’s,” He said. Sango looked up at him surprised, and he just shrugged.
“Well, there both moping around and neither wants to admit there is something between them, something a lot deeper then friendship. They’re hopeless. And I don’t think you should worry, because I think in time it’ll solve itself,” He told her. Sango let out an exasperated sigh and looked out the window beside her.
“I just think it’s unhealthy for Kagome to be so, depressed. I don’t want her to do something stupid, I mean. Well, I don’t know what I mean,” Sango said. Miroku smiled at her, and shook his head.
“Just give it up. It’ll work out, don’t stress about it. You know that they’ve been through enough and this isn’t going to end their friendship,” He told her. Sango looked at him again with wide eyes.
“Well, who’d have known you had a brain,” She laughed. Miroku glared at her before turning to face the window with a pout.
“I might be pretty, but I still have a brain,” He grouched. Sango laughed again, and rolled her eyes at his joke. He might have been a pervert, but he certainly knew how to make her smile.
By the middle of the night she had lost count of the amount of beer’s she had consumed. But she was content as she swam through a delightfully delusional paradise. Koga was drunk beyond reason himself, and they had been dancing for most of the night. At some point Koga had pulled her into a dorm room, and they sat together talking for a long while.
“I like how it’s quiet now, your room is nice. It kind of smells like you,” Kagome slurred, looking up from her spot on the bed. Koga smiled down at her, and leaned down to rest on his side, his head perched on a hand.
“Yeah, that’s because it’s my room,” He said back. Kagome laughed, and stared up at the ceiling.
“I can’t believe how drunk I am,” She mumbled, letting her eyes slip closed. Beside her Koga shifted, and she felt as he hovered over her, his lips coming to trail down the hot skin of her neck. Kagome giggled and looked up at him as he looked down at her.
“I want you so bad,” He groaned. Kagome giggled again and reached up to tug on his shirt causing him to collapse on top of her.
“That’s nice, so long as you love me,” Kagome told him, her voice slurring and her cheeks burning with embarrassment. Koga purred against her neck as he continued to kiss and lick her there.
Kagome knew she should stop him, but in that moment she didn’t care, all she wanted was to feel loved. She wanted to fill a void in herself. She wanted to be accepted, and she wanted Koga to know she needed him. So she didn’t push him away or tell him no, she just closed her eyes and let what ever was going to happen, ensue. She could worry about the repercussions in the morning, because that was when she’d be able to comprehend what she just what she was letting happen.
“Not again…” She cried, shaking her head. She wanted so badly to clear from her mind those words, his face, and those eyes of his. She just wanted to let go of this horrible pain constricting her throat and chest, but it wouldn’t leave her alone.
Kagome wiped at her wet cheeks and glanced across the room where Sango lay sleeping peacefully. She had come back to find Kagome in a state of hysteric’s, and sworn to beat the life out of Inuyasha. At least she had until Kagome told her the reason for his words, than Sango had looked at her with that same disappointed look, and told her she was going to bed. Kagome felt so abandoned, so alone. She didn’t have anyone now, except Koga. Though at the moment she didn’t want his comfort, she wanted Inuyasha’s. She wanted his reassurance that everything would be okay, that he still cared for her, that he didn’t abandon her.
“Stupid… stupid,” She cursed herself, shifting her hands through her hair roughly. She tried again to shake free the pain and memories. How could he just abandon her, why? Was what she saw in his eyes the truth? Did he feel betrayed because he loved her? Why did he leave her, and with such cruel words?
A loud sob escaped her throat again; one so heart wrenching it caused her chest to hurt as she continued to cry. She never felt such pain, not since her father had passed away. And to her this was just like losing someone all over again, only this time it was worse, because she would still see him around, but there would be bars there that she couldn’t pass.
Across the room Sango lay still her back turned to her friend as she cried. She had woken when the girl had, and she had heard her sobs, and feared for her health if she continued to cry so hard. She was in so much pain, and dwelling in a sorrow she brought on herself, and she was doing nothing to comfort her. Sango felt guilt begin to linger in her heart, Kagome needed someone, she needed comfort, a shoulder to cry on. So why wasn’t she the one moving across the room to comfort her?
‘Because you’re a coward,’ She thought to herself. ‘Maybe deep down I feel that she deserves it, because she hurt Inuyasha by going back to Koga”. Sango closed her eyes and pushed away those thoughts. Maybe Kagome did hurt Inuyasha, but how was she to know how deeply if she didn’t know that he loved her. Kagome was so naïve to such things, she would never notice his love unless he told her himself. So, maybe Kagome didn’t deserve this. Maybe she did need comfort, and then guidance to help her and Inuyasha make up.
“What have I done… what did I do,” Kagome sobbed. Sango closed her eyes and pushed back the tears that clouded her vision at the sound of her friends pleading questions.
“Kagome, it‘s gonna be all right,” She said. Kagome fell silent as she shifted to look at her. Kagome just stare with tear streaked cheeks and red blotchy eyes. Sango sighed and got up from her bed making her way over to her bed, and taking a seat beside her. She reached up to wipe at Kagome’s wet cheeks, trying to give her a comforting smile.
“He hates me,” She whispered, her voice hoarse and her eyes downcast. Sango shook her head and pulled her into a light embrace.
“He could never hate you, he’s just a little upset right now. Just give him time to cool off,” She whispered back. Kagome sat rigid in her hold as she started to cry again, this time lightly and hopelessly. Sango rubbed her back trying to calm her. It did her no good to get upset; Kagome was never one to be upset for long. But when her heart was injured she crumbled. She was so strong and yet so fragile at the same time. Sango admired her, and felt like an older sister to her. Kagome needed that kind of guidance, even if she was only a few months older than her.
“Calm down, it’ll be all right. Just take it easy,” She whispered. Kagome listened, and soon she pulled back with a sleep gaze.
“Will it really be?” She asked. Sango sighed.
“Eventually, just don’t let yourself dwell to long on this. You can’t let yourself lose it, not over this. It’ll be fine, just take it easy until things get better,” Sango told her. Kagome nodded, and Sango smiled at her again before she went back to her own bed and lie back down. Kagome fell asleep soon after that, and Sango let out a sigh before she tried to sleep again herself.
So the week passed by, and Kagome tried not to be too depressed. She spent a lot of time with Koga, seeking comfort from him and trying to fill a void that was born in her. She was afraid to be alone, because then she’d start to think and she felt so desolate and desperate for someone to be with her. She hated to be alone and she’d never felt that way because she’d always had the knowledge Inuyasha was there to fall back on. But that wasn’t true anymore, so she held onto what she had, and that was Koga and Sango.
“So, you are coming to that party tomorrow, right?” Koga asked. Kagome looked up from her dinner and smiled hollowly.
“Of course, I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” She replied. Koga knew her cheer was fake, but he didn’t know what else to do. She hadn’t said anything to him about why she was so sad, so he just ignored it, hoping it would go away. Kagome was always one to bounce back, so hopefully she would bounce back from whatever was getting her down.
“Great, I’ll pick you up at eight then. It’s going to be great, I promise you,” He told her with a smile. Kagome nodded and then turned back to playing around with her dinner. She had lost her appetite a while ago, but she didn’t want to go anywhere yet, not until she knew Sango was going to be at the dorm room.
“Do you want to go bowling?” She asked, looking up hopefully. Koga looked at her a bit confused before he shrugged.
“Sure, why not?” He replied. Kagome smiled and then hoped up from her seat. Koga laughed at her enthusiasm then left a tip on the table before they headed out.
“I don’t know what to do. It’s like she’s not there, I just hate how she seems so lost,” Sango said with a sigh. Across from her Miroku looked at her with a serious expression. He’d talked to Inuyasha just the day before and he had seemed a little distracted as well.
“If you ask me there both idiot’s,” He said. Sango looked up at him surprised, and he just shrugged.
“Well, there both moping around and neither wants to admit there is something between them, something a lot deeper then friendship. They’re hopeless. And I don’t think you should worry, because I think in time it’ll solve itself,” He told her. Sango let out an exasperated sigh and looked out the window beside her.
“I just think it’s unhealthy for Kagome to be so, depressed. I don’t want her to do something stupid, I mean. Well, I don’t know what I mean,” Sango said. Miroku smiled at her, and shook his head.
“Just give it up. It’ll work out, don’t stress about it. You know that they’ve been through enough and this isn’t going to end their friendship,” He told her. Sango looked at him again with wide eyes.
“Well, who’d have known you had a brain,” She laughed. Miroku glared at her before turning to face the window with a pout.
“I might be pretty, but I still have a brain,” He grouched. Sango laughed again, and rolled her eyes at his joke. He might have been a pervert, but he certainly knew how to make her smile.
By the middle of the night she had lost count of the amount of beer’s she had consumed. But she was content as she swam through a delightfully delusional paradise. Koga was drunk beyond reason himself, and they had been dancing for most of the night. At some point Koga had pulled her into a dorm room, and they sat together talking for a long while.
“I like how it’s quiet now, your room is nice. It kind of smells like you,” Kagome slurred, looking up from her spot on the bed. Koga smiled down at her, and leaned down to rest on his side, his head perched on a hand.
“Yeah, that’s because it’s my room,” He said back. Kagome laughed, and stared up at the ceiling.
“I can’t believe how drunk I am,” She mumbled, letting her eyes slip closed. Beside her Koga shifted, and she felt as he hovered over her, his lips coming to trail down the hot skin of her neck. Kagome giggled and looked up at him as he looked down at her.
“I want you so bad,” He groaned. Kagome giggled again and reached up to tug on his shirt causing him to collapse on top of her.
“That’s nice, so long as you love me,” Kagome told him, her voice slurring and her cheeks burning with embarrassment. Koga purred against her neck as he continued to kiss and lick her there.
Kagome knew she should stop him, but in that moment she didn’t care, all she wanted was to feel loved. She wanted to fill a void in herself. She wanted to be accepted, and she wanted Koga to know she needed him. So she didn’t push him away or tell him no, she just closed her eyes and let what ever was going to happen, ensue. She could worry about the repercussions in the morning, because that was when she’d be able to comprehend what she just what she was letting happen.