InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ We Will Become Silhouettes ❯ Tainted Love ( Chapter 13 )

 

 

 

We Will Become Silhouettes

 

 

Chapter 13 Tainted Love

 

Inuyasha blushed a deep scarlet in embarrassment, as the vile substance seemed to cover both him and Sesshomaru. The smell was almost unbearable, and he kept his face down, not at all wanting to see the look of anger that was no doubt on his mate's face. Because really, who wouldn't be pissed after being puked on? This was all too much, and was starting to become green again as his stomach did a few more flip-flops.

 

“Inuyasha you reek of alcohol. What did you do let him get you drunk and then seduce you?” Trying to steady the spinning in his head, Inuyasha looked up to his father who was still staring murderously at the two.

 

He tried to give him a smile, but under the circumstances it came out to look more as if he had just had a stroke. “Actually Kouga got me drunk and tried to seduce me.” Inuyasha winced as Sesshomaru's claws dug into his side, but his stepbrother chose to remain silent. That probably was a good thing though. Inuyasha doubted that his father would think it was as cute as he did how scarily possessive Sesshomaru got. But really, there was no reason to get possessive…he had said Kouga tried hadn't he? Now he wasn't the smartest half demon to ever exist, but to him that meant that he hadn't succeeded, and so there should be no reason why his hips were now bleeding.

 

“Didn't I tell you before not to hang out with that wolf.” His dad replied in disappointment. Though the statement did seem to have some affect, because he removed the sword from the back of Sesshomaru's head and shook his head in disgust as he resheathed it. “Those mangy wolves don't have any thoughts going through their heads besides getting into some pretty thing's pants…In that respect I should be thanking your presumptuous stepbrother.”

 

Raising his eyebrow in curiosity, Inuyasha took no time in voicing his thoughts. “I don't get it…why would you thank him?” When both sets of eyes simultaneously flicked towards the mark on his neck, the hanyou had his answer before his father even spoke.

 

“It was his mark that stopped Kouga from jumping you, was it not?” At Inutaishou's smirk, a large smile spread across Inuyasha's face as he hastily nodded. Sadly such brash movement caused his stomach to turn again, and he knew it wouldn't be long before his insides became his outsides once again. Though he pushed his nausea aside to appreciate what had just happened. His father had stopped trying to murder his mate because a wolf had wanted to sleep with him, but the very thing that his father was mad about stopped that and so he had forgiven him…or at least stopped the death attempts. He guessed it had something to do with the whole…the enemy of my enemy is my friend thing, well either that or his dad just really hated wolves.

 

“Lord Inutaishou may I be allowed to take Inuyasha and get him cleaned up and dressed before we continue this conversation?” Sesshomaru asked as formally as possible, which you know considering the fact that he was stark naked on a bed with puke all over him was pretty impressive.

 

Sadly, his father's anger seemed to return in full force. Smoldering orange eyes narrowed into the back of his mate's head. “You may Sesshomaru…and while you're at it I'd explain things if I were you…you made this mess, and so you get to be the one to tell my son why you might have to break his heart.” Inuyasha's eyes widened at the exchange, but he said nothing, instead deciding that listening was probably best in this situation. “I expect you in the conference room in an hour. That will be enough time for the two of you to bathe, and for me to rouse your mother. Don't be late.” With that said his father curtly turned and walked down the hall, leaving two very confused Inu-youkai in his wake.

 

Inuyasha opened his mouth to start his very long list of questions, comments, and concerns, but a hand over his mouth quickly silenced his attempts. “Dagger we have a very long and hard talk ahead of us, but just because I admitted to loving you, does not mean that I wish to discuss this naked with your vomit all over me.”

 

The hanyou nodded, and then that entire statement started to sink in and he couldn't help but snicker. His snicker soon turned into a chuckle, and before he knew it he had fallen backwards in howling laughter. It was just too much. Seriously in what world did this actually happen? This didn't happen in real life. No, this was more like a horror story…a bad one.

 

“I really don't see what part of this situation amuses you.” Sesshomaru said testily, and Inuyasha suspected it had something to do with the fact that he had just been puked on…and of course all the other stuff.

 

Trying his hardest to suppress his laughter, Inuyasha stilled on the now ruined bed sheets. “You know Sessh I can laugh about this, because I have no idea what's going…once I get let into the loop than I'm sure I'll be just as hella pissed off as everyone else around here.” Amused golden eyes turned towards his mate, and he grabbed a handful of white hair, pulling Sesshomaru down so that they were eye level. “And you know seeing as how everyone seems to be pointing fingers at you, you'd think that you'd be all too willing to bask in my happiness before I find out just what the hell you did.”

 

Up until this point Sesshomaru's face had had something akin to amusement on it, but at his last statement all traces of that soon vanished. As a matter of fact that same worried gaze returned, and all the happiness Inuyasha had been feeling faded with that one look. That look told of tragedies, and he knew that this was no laughing matter.

 

Fingers finding their way to his lover's scalp, Inuyasha gently ran his hand through the youkai's feather soft hair. “It's not going to be alright, is it?” He didn't try to keep any of the worry out of his voice, and Sesshomaru didn't try to make him feel any better.

 

Leaning down, he softly brushed their lips together before sitting up and pulling the hanyou right along with him. “Let's go to the bathing hall Inuyasha…then we'll talk.”

 

Inuyasha didn't say anything else, his humor now completely gone as he grabbed some clothes he had stored in Sesshomaru's room, and after pulling on a robe followed his mate out of their room and towards the bathing hall. Something inside of him was telling him not to enter the room. He had a feeling that after he heard what it was that everybody besides him seemed to know, that things would never be the same.

 

The walk there was completely silent, only furthering to make Inuyasha's terrible horrible feeling increase until he had almost convinced himself to just turn tail and run away from this.

 

Steam blocked his vision as Sesshomaru opened the door to the hot springs inside their castle. His stepbrother was completely silent as he slid the robe off of his shoulders and climbed into the steaming hot water. Inuyasha did the same, and hissed in pleasure as the water immediately started to loosen up his joints and muscles and remove all of the grime covering him.

 

“Sesshomaru tell me what's going on…why did my father tell you to break my heart?” After dunking himself under, Inuyasha waded over to the still silent youkai, wrapping his arms around his lover's waist. He sighed in pleasure as their slick bodies slid against one another, and Sesshomaru allowed Inuyasha's wondering hands to travel up his chest, touching as much flesh as he could get his hands on.

 

He tried to blame the fact that all they ever did was have sex on Sesshomaru, but in all actuality a lot of the blame could be placed on his own shoulders. He instigated as much of their interactions as the youkai himself. Of course Sesshomaru never said no to his wants, just like Inuyasha never said no to his mate, and so you could say that they were both just as guilty about never being able to keep their hands off of each other…except now of course.

 

Inuyasha raised an eyebrow as his exploring hands were grabbed as Sesshomaru turned around to face him and place his arms back down by his sides. “Don't.” Sesshomaru's face was a complete mask, letting the hanyou know just how much trouble he was in. When they were together he could always get his mate to show at least a little bit of emotion, but now there was nothing…which could only mean bad.

 

“Alright, you got me!” Inuyasha cheekily quipped. “Now just tell me what the hell the problem is so that we can get on our way to fixing it.” Inuyasha forced a smile to his face, but his muscles once more went flax when Sesshomaru's expression didn't change one bit.

 

“We broke the rules when we mated.” The hanyou's face fell as his stomach filled with dread.

 

“What does that mean?” He asked, not at all sure he wanted to know the answer. The water lapped unnoticed against their bodies, as Inuyasha's feeling of nausea came back full force.

 

“There is a ceremony involved before you can officially mate.” Sesshomaru's cold golden eyes shut at the mention of the knowledge. “Not only that, but in high ranking youkai families such as ours, I would have had to have gotten permission from your father before I could touch you.”

 

Oh. Was that all? Inuyasha shrugged the whole thing off. “Are you really trying to tell me that the great Sesshomaru is so freaked out about breaking a few rules?” He mocked. “Listen I'm always causing problems around here, I'm sure that my father is…” He was never allowed to continue.

 

“This isn't just some minor rule!” Sesshomaru snapped, and honestly this was one of the few times Inuyasha had really seen him loose his temper. The rest of his sentence was left forgotten on his tongue as he stared at his mate in worry. “Inuyasha these mating rituals are very serious, and the consequences for breaking them are dire.” Sesshomaru seemed to have gotten his temper under control, and was now the same ice prince he had first met.

 

Inuyasha's bare feet skid against the bottom of the pool as he backed up, leaning against the side. He didn't know what consequences Sesshomaru was talking about, but he had a feeling that after he heard them he might not be able to stand all that well on his own.

 

His bangs fell in front of his eyes as he skimmed his hand through the water. “What are the consequences?” He asked morosely. He just wanted this conversation to be over and done with, because the sooner it was the sooner he got to freak and sulk over it.

 

“You were right with what you said earlier mutt.” Ignoring the colorful nickname, Inuyasha bypassed that for what was really important.

 

“Yeah and what was that? I'm right about so many things that it's hard to keep track.” When in doubt…always use witty sarcasm.

 

Silence reigned for so long that Inuyasha figured that the youkai had chosen not to answer him, but sadly he couldn't get that lucky. “I was just using you for sex.”

 

The words washed over him likes waves. As he turned shocked golden eyes up to Sesshomaru he felt his airways constrict. “Why are you telling me this?” His voice was as small and broken as the hanyou felt. “What good does me knowing this do?” Inuyasha asked. Seriously he was really struggling to see an upside to him having this knowledge. Sure he had suspected it, but to actually hear it come from the one he loves' mouth was almost too much to bear.

 

“I'm telling you this so that you can rationalize my decisions. I knew exactly what I was doing, and I knew of the consequences.” Inuyasha's face had once more fell forward, but Sesshomaru walked closer, lifting it up so their eyes met. “Those consequences Inuyasha were one of the main reasons I took you then as my mate.”

 

Taking a deep breath, Inuyasha willed his body to ask the very question he didn't want an answer to, and yet he knew he had no way around it. “What are the consequences?”

 

He almost sobbed as Sesshomaru reached out to wipe away a stray tear that he wasn't even aware that he had shed. “It depends…your father is the one to make the decision. In a broken mating bond it's rare that the elder guardian chooses to let the pair remain together. Almost every time something like this has happened the mated pair is ripped apart and the bond is severed, and once that happens the pair can never mate with each other again.”

 

Inuyasha's ears drooped down to his head as ever word his stepbrother had muttered echoed in them. He understood now. It had always confused him before why Sesshomaru would ever take someone like him as a mate, but it made perfect sense. His stepbrother wanted to fuck him, and so he bit him, knowing that when his father returned the mating bound would nullified and he would get off jack free.

 

Swatting Sesshomaru's hand away, Inuyasha did his best to glare while simultaneously trying to stop his heart from breaking. “I shouldn't have expected any less from you…but I want to know one thing.” Inuyasha swallowed the lump trying to form in his throat as he struggled to get out his question. “W-why did you tell my father t-that you l-loved me?” He stuttered, trying to be able to form a decent sentence between the upcoming sobs. “W-why would make me think you cared?”

 

Sesshomaru once more reached out for him, but Inuyasha thinking he'd rather be tortured than have his stepbrother touch him right then, hastily avoided the hand. With a frown, the youkai's arm went back down to his side. “You misunderstand me Dagger.” Inuyasha's eyes narrowed to slits at the nickname, but he managed to control his anger. It was more important to hear whatever bullshit the youkai was going to spit out. “I did use you for sex in the beginning, but not now. I was so cautious with your father because I want to be one of those fair few that don't get their bonds revoked.” The youkai stepped forward, and Inuyasha cursed for leaving himself no room to back up. “I want to be your mate Inuyasha, and what I said before was true.” Sesshomaru cupped both cheeks, and the hanyou had to bite back everything in him that was telling him to pull away. “I'm not entirely positive what love is Dagger, but I am certain that if such a thing exists that I must feel it for you.”

 

Those words…the same words that would have meant so much to him if they had been spoken at any other time were now like acid. A low growl escaped from his throat as his eyes flooded red. Sesshomaru had always won him over with his deceitful words…but not now! “Liar!” He screamed, before swinging his claws through the air. His nails slashed the youkai's perfect face, making four ligature marks across it, and spraying blood into the water.

 

Was it as coincidence that the only times Sesshomaru ever said anything heart wrenching like this was when he planned to leave him? Was it a coincidence that when things were going bad was the only time he ever acted like he even gave a damn! He wouldn't fall into his trap again! He refused to be tricked!

 

Before he even knew what was happening he had lunged forward, knocking the still recovering Sesshomaru underwater. He wasn't even aware of his actions, caught way too much in his hate to really be able to do much more than kick and flail around under water, trying to make his stepbrother feel even a miniscule amount of the pain he was forced to go through.

 

It wasn't fair! Why did he always choose to trust the youkai? Why did Sesshomaru always hurt him? Sesshomaru grabbed his hips, slightly stilling his movements long enough to toss him out of the water so that his bare back slid along the ground, scraping it up as he crashed against the wall.

 

While Inuyasha was recovering, Sesshomaru decided to get out of the pool as well. “Inuyasha do try to control yourself long enough to listen to me.” Big mistake. He wanted him to listen? He wanted him to listen after all of the lies he had been forced to listen to?

 

As soon as he got even the slightest trace of his bearings, Inuyasha lunged forward, connecting with the older inu's knees and sending him sprawling backwards. He reveled in the sound Sesshomaru's head made as it collided with the floor. Using his sudden leverage, Inuyasha quickly got on top of his lover, holding a clawed hand to his neck to keep him still.

 

“No, you manipulative bastard, I will not listen.” He snarled, squeezing tighter. “You told me once that I was like a dagger in your heart…well tell me brother.” He spat, the small trace of their relationship rolling off his tongue like it was some vile substance. “If I stabbed you in the heart would you even bleed?” Inuyasha leaned down so that their faces were centimeters apart, never once caring about the hurt look that almost instantly passed over his mate's face. “No…I don't think you would, because I don't think you have a heart.”

 

Knowing that he was probably going to get hurt for it, but really not caring at that moment, Inuyasha spat in the face of the person he loved more than life itself and reveled in the shock it seemed to provoke on his normally so emotionless face. “I'm going Sesshomaru. We'll discuss this more with my father.” Not trusting his voice anymore, Inuyasha scampered to grab a towel, and after wrapping securely around his waist he practically sprinted out of the room and down towards his own…anything to get away from the person who had shredded his heart into jerky.

 

It took all of his strength to get back to his room without breaking out into a fit of tears. How could this possibly be happening? It had really meant nothing to him. He had really just done it so that he could sleep with him for a while. No wonder he didn't feel like they were mates, because they weren't…not really. He knew in his blood that they destined to be together, but Sesshomaru would never allow himself to be as weak as that. He was a just fool to believe that the callous youkai he had considered his mate could ever really love somebody. His words were just as hollow as all of the promises he had made him. That `I love you' that had seemed so hard to get out, more than likely just constituted as an `I love fucking you'

 

The sad thing is was that Inuyasha had made the entire arrangement so convenient for him. He had let him take him anytime; anywhere, any position, and he had loved every minute of it. He had played the role of the good little whore to make his mate happy, and Sesshomaru probably ate all of it up. He was just as pathetic as Sesshomaru, if not more so. After all he was the one that got played.

 

Inuyasha's overwhelming sadness soon turned to an unbearable amount of anger as he stared into the mirror at the sorry excuse for a demon he had become. His ears drooped against his head as he took in his haggard appearance. His eyes were red and puffy from his tears, his skin was pale, and he looked remarkably like raccoon with the dark circles that rimmed his eyes. The thing that stuck out most about his appearance though was the red inflamed mark on his shoulder.

 

Gritting his teeth, the hanyou dug his nails into his injured skin; disfiguring the mark Sesshomaru had given him and causing warm blood to roll unnoticed down his chest. It had all been a sham, and he had been stupid enough to fall for it. He really had to wonder just how many people were in on this con. Just the thought of Sesshomaru laughing about this somewhere with Kagura made his blood boil even more, and he ended up smashing his fist into his troubled reflection, effectively getting rid of the sight of his problems.

 

Pulling the towel off from around his waist, Inuyasha used it to quickly dry his hair before grabbing a dark blue kimono from his wardrobe. He was about to wrap it around himself, but then he paused with just one arm through and grabbed for his supply of bandages instead. Never wanting to see the horrid mark again, Inuyasha wrapped up the bleeding wound on his neck, before finishing getting dressed. His father was waiting after all, and it wouldn't do to be late.

 

He would really have to thank his father when he saw him. It was because of him after all that Sesshomaru hadn't been allowed to take him yet another time. The sad thing is was that he had defended the youkai. Inuyasha grunted in annoyance. The truth of the matter was that he should have let him take the bastard's head when he had wanted to. It was his mistake for being stupid enough at that moment to consider that his stepbrother might have had a soul…He had long since come to learn otherwise.

 

Taking in a deep breath, Inuyasha calmed himself as much as he possibly could given the circumstances, and slid his door open to make his way to the conference room. Unfortunately for him just down the hall Sesshomaru had decided to do the very same thing at that exact moment. `Take another deep breath' he told himself. There was nothing bad about this situation. All he had to do was control himself and everything would be alright. It was quite obvious that in their time together Sesshomaru had picked up on some of his mannerisms, so all he had to do now was adopt some of the unfeeling youkai's and they would get through this unavoidable interaction swimmingly.

 

He did his best to avoid his stepbrother's cold gaze. He had never been able to look in those icy gold eyes without loosing his composure, and the last thing he wanted the bastard to know was that he could still probably get to him just as easily now as he ever could. Because, despite Sesshomaru's reluctance to admit it, Inuyasha knew that they were destined mates, and a mate will do anything to please.

 

“Inuyasha.” That included stopping in your tracks when you knew that by all rights you should be walking as fast as you could the other way. Yet he knew he could not. Even in his angered state the thought of denying Sesshomaru anything was just laughable.

 

Thinking that his lover would gently wrap his arms around his waist and whisper sweet lies into his ear, Inuyasha just closed his eyes and prepared himself to loose composure, but sadly such sentiments never happened. No, it seemed Sesshomaru was a little more pissed off than he had originally let on.

 

Inuyasha yelped in surprise as his arm was yanked backwards, and he had to such in a gasp of air that had been knocked out of him as he was none-too-gently pinned up against the wall. The youkai's arms were at his shoulders, holding him up so that his feet barely dangled above the ground.

 

Growling, Inuyasha struggled against his restraints, but that only got the youkai to push harder, and soon it was becoming exceedingly difficult to breathe. You know if this was Sesshomaru way of winning him over, then he would definitely have to tell his stepbrother to get a better strategy.

 

“Sesshomaru let me go.” He growled out in demand, but at seeing his struggle it only seemed to entice his mate more.

 

Leaning forward, Sesshomaru closed most of the distance between the two so that his breath echoed off the hanyou's poyant lips. “Not a chance.” His voice was like ice, and as it pierced through him Inuyasha felt not the first time in his life immense fear of even being in the same vicinity as his angered stepbrother.

 

“Half-breed in the last hour I have been vomited on, had my cheek sliced to ribbons, and been spit in the face.” His grip tightened. “All of these things have come to pass because of you, and I don't think my demanding of a bit of your time is really such an exceedingly out of the question request.” Sesshomaru's fangs bared as he connected their mouths, saying the last part against his lips. “Now will you listen,” Inuyasha gasped against his lover's lips as Sesshomaru claws dug into his stomach. “Or should I have the rest of this conversation with a corpse?”

 

Wincing at the increasing pain around his midsection, Inuyasha had no choice but to nod. He would listen to anything his sham of a mate had to say as long as it got those claws to retreat from his belly. Sadly all his forced nod accomplished was to get Sesshomaru to dig his claws in even further. Inuyasha was relatively sure he was bleeding by now, and if he wasn't than something had dead on the inside. “Mutt I know you love to hear yourself speak, so be it from me to stop you now…Don't just nod your head at me. I want you to agree to listen very carefully to what I have to say, and not just freak out because you're angry.”

 

If this had been any other situation, Inuyasha might have thought it was amusing that his stepbrother had actually used the term freak out. Sadly, as it was, Sesshomaru increasingly colorful vocabulary was the least of his concerns. He knew that he had to agree to the youkai's terms and get his anger in check. That was after all the only way he saw of getting out of this, but that didn't mean that he had to be held against the wall in pain while he did.

 

“Yes.” He bit out through clenched teeth, and then remembering his plan softened his features. “I'll listen to what you have to say Sessh…” Wrapping his legs around his mate's waist, Inuyasha leaned forward and sensually began lapping at the cuts he had caused on Sesshomaru's normally flawless face. “But I want you to put me down first.”

 

The hand clawing its way into his stomach relented, but that was only so that it could hoist Inuyasha further up against the wall and into his arms. Inuyasha smirked to himself. So Sesshomaru like being licked, did he? Inuyasha continued his ministrations, reveling on how the gashes almost immediately healed under his touch, leaving the only mark on his face the red stripes that he had always had.

 

Even after the claw marks were gone, Inuyasha couldn't control the way he continued to lap at the area, both loving and hating the attentions Sesshomaru gave him because of it. “I want you to know Dagger that I don't regret what happened between us.” Inuyasha stiffened in his mate's arms. That had sure done its job in stopping any love between them.

 

“Put me down.” Was Inuyasha's cold reply, and to his amazement his stepbrother actually complied with his request. His feet touched the ground, but he was still kept pinned to the wall by Sesshomaru's arms on either side of him.

 

“This is why your father doubts your ability to lead.” Inuyasha's eyes narrowed to slits at the comment. “You can never keep a level head about anything. Being led on by your emotions is a strength a leader should not possess.”

 

“Yeah?” He hastily shot back. “Well I'd rather be led by my emotions than not have any like you!” Snarling, he pushed at the youkai's chest, gaining temporary freedom before Sesshomaru got his grounds and pushed back just as harshly, crashing Inuyasha back up against the wall and using one hand to pin his arms above his head, while keeping other hand securely on his, effectively making so that he couldn't move.

 

Leaning forward, Sesshomaru got right in his face, knowing that act always turned Inuyasha to goo. “I'm fully aware that you are beyond infuriated with me right now, but do you really think that will always be the case?” At Inuyasha's raised eyebrow, he took it as a good sign to continue. “If we don't make a good impression in there, than there is no way Inutaishou will allow us to remain mated.”

 

“What are you trying to say?” Sesshomaru sighed at his obvious stupidity, before continuing on with his explanation.

 

“I am trying to say that if you don't act like you're completely ecstatic about the prospect of this, and that you're head over heels in love, than there's a good chance your father will reject this bond of ours, and we will be ripped apart just because you decided to throw a temper tantrum.”

 

Inuyasha gazed into cold golden eyes, but the more he stared, the more he saw the faintest trace of emotion hidden in their depths…desperation. Sesshomaru was obviously angry with him, and yet he was going to far to practically plead with him to do this. Did he actually want to keep him as his mate? Did he actually care? That of course was when the hanyou's rationingly stubborn side kicked in telling him different. Of course Sesshomaru wanted to keep him as a mate, but not for anything as trivial as love and devotion. He probably just didn't want to give up the best fuck he ever had.

 

“You want me to act like a happy love sick puppy?” Inuyasha asked, and at Sesshomaru's nod a snarl ripped through his throat. “Well you know what, you fucking bastard, up until a little bit ago I wouldn't have had to act!”

 

Ignoring his retort, Sesshomaru leaned in closer to him, taking great care to nuzzle the side of his face and neck. “Inuyasha I will not stoop so low as to ask for your forgiveness, but I hope that even in that muddled head of yours you see that my original plan has changed.” The hanyou whined in both need and distress as Sesshomaru made a trail of kisses down the side of his neck, brushing his long hair out of the way of his descent.

 

Though of course after his entire neck was revealed the arms above his head were immediately dropped as Sesshomaru used his now free hand to examine the slightly blood soaked bandage where his mating mark usually was.

 

“You've never covered my mark before.” Inuyasha sighed as he brought the sleeve of his kimono back up, effectively covering the tacky bandage. It was true he had never covered Sesshomaru mark on him. As a matter of fact he hardly ever even wore his hair down anymore, and took great delight in pointing it out to anybody and everybody that would listen. One time he had even taken calligraphy ink from his studies and scribbled `look at this' on his neck and painted an arrow to the mark he held so dear. Now though the thought of anyone knowing he had allowed himself to submit to such a heartless creature such as his stepbrother made him want to hide the mark forever. He wanted it off his skin, just like he wanted the memory of how it came to be there out of his brain.

 

“I never felt the need to.” Pushing slightly on Sesshomaru's chest, he was shocked by how easily the youkai relented his hold and let him off the wall he was pinned against. If he didn't know any better he'd say that his comment had really affected his stepbrother's demeanor, but then again he knew better. “We should get going to the conference room…if we take any longer our my father will draw blood.” Without even a look back, Inuyasha headed towards where his life would be decided, never once looking back towards where Sesshomaru was no doubt following. He couldn't bear the thought of looking. It was all just too painful.

 

The mating mark burned against his skin from the thoughts of hatred that coursed through his veins about its owner, and yet he couldn't get those thoughts to stop. In all actuality he didn't want them to stop. If they stopped that meant that he had once more been weak and given into Sesshomaru, and that only meant more pain.

 

Sesshomaru had said that he was mad now, but he wouldn't stay mad at him forever, but honestly he really thought that might be the case. It sure felt like he would anyways. He was a person led by his emotions, and he was easily swayed, so if he completely walked in there and told his father the truth about what happened would he regret it later when he could never feel Sesshomaru's arms around him again?

 

Would he miss those nights of sweet abandon when he never had to think about anything except how good his mate was making him feel? Would he miss the way their eyes would catch at dinner as if they were sharing a secret only they knew? Would he miss the way sometimes Sesshomaru could treat him as if he were the greatest treasure in the world?

 

Who was he kidding? Of course he would miss those things. But he didn't think that he would miss the constant coldness. He wouldn't miss the way he constantly felt insecure. He wouldn't miss the lies, or the deceit. He most certainly wouldn't miss the feeling of utter heartbreak that came over him whenever he found out about one of Sesshomaru's plots…the very feeling that had come over him now. No, he wouldn't miss any of those things.

 

You know that old saying `you always hurt the ones you love?' well it works both ways. He was sure now that Sesshomaru's confession of love was only an excuse for him to hurt Inuyasha more. That's all love was anyways. It was just a tool to carry out as much punishment as possible, because in the end it hurts like a bitch whenever there's feelings involved. Inuyasha snorted softly to himself as he slid the door to the conference hall open. One heartbreak and he had already become a cynic, and if he was already so cynical he knew bitter was just around the corner…Sesshomaru really had ruined him.

 

He forced his face to become neutral as his father's and his stepmother's eyes turned to him, and to Sesshomaru who had walked in just behind him. Inuyasha nodded to the married pair, before going over to sit across from his father, or at least that was the plan. As soon as he began to move one hand grabbed his hip and slightly pulled him backwards.

 

Inuyasha was about to scream at Sesshomaru some more, but his stepbrother's voice beat him to the punch. “Try to control yourself Inuyasha. This is our only chance.” The words were whispered so quietly that even he had a hard time picking them up, and they were being said into his ear. The meaning, however, was not hard to understand at all. Sesshomaru was asking this of him, and in his heart he wanted to give into his mate, but could he really do such a thing? Could he sign his future away on someone he didn't even know if he could trust?...He honestly didn't know the answer to that question.

 

Taking a seat in front of him father, Sesshomaru sat next to him across from his mother, and Inuyasha didn't fail to notice how the youkai had chosen to sit much more closely than he would any other time. He even went so far as to slightly pat his thigh in support before looking over to eldest pair. You had to hand it to him; Sesshomaru was a very convincing actor. If he kept his mouth shut his stepbrother could probably pull this whole thing off…now all he had to do was to decide if that's what he wanted.

 

“Inuyasha it's good to see you looking sober, and of course clothed.” He blushed under his father's tone and scrutiny. Wasn't it bad enough that he saw them in the first place? What now was he trying to rub it in?...Life wasn't fair sometimes. Like it isn't every child's fear to have their parents catch them having sex, but no, he had to have him catch him and then a nice little discussion about the whole thing afterwards. If there was a god, he was sure that he hated him.

 

Giving a polite bow of his head, Inuyasha addressed his father in the most formal way possible. “Yes, father. I do apologize for my actions, and I am very elated to see that you've made it safely back home.” Take that Sesshomaru! Inuyasha mentally cheered himself on. He could be formal when he wanted to, but talking like that was so hella boring that he chose to be the brat he was. What's the point of being a prince after all if you can't have fun while doing it?

 

Sesshomaru bowed his head, curtly stating, “As am I my lord.” Before looking back up towards his mother who seemed much too pleased for her own good. But then again she would be pleased. Amarante had informed him about just how much she disliked the fact that he son had picked him, and how he was going to be the death of their happy little family. It probably just made her all warm and fuzzy to know that everything was crashing down around them. She had had time with his father, and god knows what she had told him while Sesshomaru and him had been held up.

 

Letting out an exasperated sigh, Inutaishou rubbed at his tired eyes. “Where to start.” His voice sounded weary, and Inuyasha's guilt rose exponentially. Imagine having to go to war, make the long trek home, and then have to come home to get this unholy mess dropped upon him.

 

“My lord.” Inuyasha was brought out of his guilt trip by Sesshomaru's voice, and soon all eyes were on him…he didn't seem to mind the attention. “With all due respect you know exactly where to start, because there is only one thing that needs to be decided.”

 

Inutaishou raised an eyebrow at Sesshomaru's bluntness. “Is that right Sesshomaru?” His stepbrother held the man's gaze, even when burnt orange eyes seemed to be burrowing their way into his brain. “I suppose we could just get down to business and I could look at the facts. I could remember your confession, and how my son seemed to be generally happy when he was with you. I could look at the fact that my son is one of the most stubborn and willful youkai I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, and so if he didn't want this to happen he would have never allowed it in the first place.” Those burnt orange eyes narrowed. “I could also take into consideration that right now his misery is rolling off him in waves, or that fact that blood from wounds in his neck and stomach are stinging my nostrils right now.” Inuyasha's body stiffened as his ears drooped. It just wasn't fair how easily his father was able to read people, and then tear them apart at their seams…and it seemed he wasn't done yet.

 

“I could also take into consideration what my wife had informed about a certain treaty with the demon lord Naraku, and how you have shamed my honor by breaking the treaty the very night it was created. I could say how you promised my only son away without discussing the matter with either him or me, and now I have upcoming war on my hands.” The hanyou's guilt rose even more as his father continued. “I could see all this and plenty more Sesshomaru, but I'm not going to.” He turned a faint smile towards Inuyasha. “I'm going to let Inuyasha make the decision himself.”

 

Two pairs of golden eyes widened at the comment. As a matter of fact what his father had said took him by such surprise that he wondered vaguely if he had heard right. “Father you're going to let me pick?” Voicing his confusions out loud only resulted in making him even more confused. “B-but why?” His forehead wrinkled as he tried to rationalize the youkai's decision, but for the life of him he couldn't come up with a decent reason. “Why the hell would you let me pick? Aren't you pissed off that I went behind your back?” He jabbed a finger angrily in Sesshomaru's direction. “Don't you wanna punish this lying prick for insulting you…for using me!”

 

Not once glancing at Inuyasha, Sesshomaru once more caught his father's gaze. “With all do respect Lord Inutaishou it is not the hanyou's decision to make. He is irrational. You know as well as I do that his decisions are not competent when he is in this state.”

 

Inuyasha glared holes into the side of the youkai's face, willing him bodily harm. How dare he just dismiss him like he was a child that couldn't make decisions for himself. He was sure that if he hadn't called him a prick Sesshomaru would have been happy to have had him make the decision, but no! Sesshomaru always had to be the victor and get his spoils, and right now what he wanted was Inuyasha.

 

Stroking his chin, Inutaishou seemed to almost smile at Sesshomaru's comments. “I am aware of my son's personality, and as such I know exactly how he'll react if I make this decision for him.” He turned towards Inuyasha. “I would dream of making you miserable for the rest of your life Inuyasha, and it doesn't matter which path I choose for you, whichever one it is you will resent because the choice was not your own.” He nodded towards him. “This is your decision my son, choose well.”

 

“My lord…” Sesshomaru tried to interject, but it seemed his father would have none of it.

 

“Sesshomaru I am fully aware why you think Inuyasha shouldn't be allowed to make this decision. It isn't because you think he won't choose you, because even I can see the masked devotion he holds for you in his eyes.” Inutaishou seemed to hesitate before continuing. “I know about what happened when you were younger. I can only imagine how devastating something like that must be on a child.”

 

Inuyasha could only watch in grim fascination as Sesshomaru eyes went far away, and his hands clenched as if they could squeeze the life out of the old memory. He had no idea what had been done to his mate, but whatever it is it seemed Sesshomaru carried a ghost of it around with him. His theory was only further proved by the youkai's next words.

 

“I was no child.” Hate burned from his tongue that had long since been extinguished. He had never seen his stepbrother look so tormented before. What could possibly have happened to make him hold onto so much hate?

 

Reaching out, Inutaishou laid a comforting hand on the youkai's shoulder, but sadly the hand was immediately shrugged off as if he had been burned. “No Sesshomaru, you were not a child, but then again you weren't an adult either.” All Inuyasha had wanted to do was flee from this room with Sesshomaru in tow and hold onto his mate until he was sure none of that hatred remained…that is until his father's next words. “You should have never been mated, and I understand why Amarante chose to dissolve the bond.”

 

The world came crashing down around him. He couldn't breath, he couldn't think, all he could do was feel, and what he felt was overwhelming pain. Pain at not being Sesshomaru first, pain at the thought that he might loved someone, but mostly pain to think that he wasn't the first to be conned by the youkai.

 

He had never scooted away from a person faster. He slid along the floor as fast as he could until his back hit the wall, and once he did he couldn't stop the tears from falling. Too much had happened today, and this was just his breaking point. Everyone had one, and he thought it was a miracle he hadn't reached it sooner.

 

Three separate voices were calling his name, but he couldn't discern who they belonged to. All he could feel was his heart beating at a million miles an hour as his heartbreak once more turned into irrational anger.

 

Pushing himself up to standing, Inuyasha's tear stained eyes shot open to see concerned faces staring back. The most concerned of all though was Sesshomaru, and for some reason the sight of him standing there just waiting to be able to comfort him only furthered his anger.

 

“You've done this before!” He accused through his sobs. How could he have been so stupid to even think of accepting Sesshomaru explanation on how he changed? How he could have even thought that such an unfeeling bastard could have loved him!

 

“You don't…” Sesshomaru quickly tried to smooth things out, but he refused to be poisoned by those sickly sweet words again.

 

“Don't tell me I don't understand!” He roared. “I understand perfectly…for the first time I understand everything.” Not sparing another look towards his mate, Inuyasha instead turned back towards his father. “You told me that the decision was mine to make, well I've made it.” He grit his teeth to hold back his tears as he tried to get everything out without completely breaking down. “I don't want to feel him inside me anymore. I don't want to know how much I love him...I don't want to miss his lips on mine…” Inuyasha now had to lean against the wall as his sorrow took hold of him and he allowed his tears to fall as he whimpered out his decision. “I don't want to be his mate anymore.” Not waiting for a reply Inuyasha sprinting out of the room, and out of their estate. All he wanted to do now was find a nice tree where he could cry himself to sleep.

,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,.,.

 

A.N- ………..God I feel like crying…that was so heart wrenching and hard to write…I'm just kinda stunned into silence as I feel bad for Inuyasha…Why is it that I'm so mean to him?....Well anyways please review if you even have a will to live anymore after that chapter and we can be sad together.