InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ We Will Become Silhouettes ❯ In Other Words I Hate You ( Chapter 15 )

 

 

 

We Will Become Silhouettes

 

 

Chapter 15 In Other Words I Hate You

 

 

Inuyasha reached out in his sleep, stretching out to grab towards his mate. He definitely wasn't in the mood to wake up yet, and all he really wanted to do was curl up into his lover's warm and inviting chest. Sesshomaru was always the nicest when he was asleep. It wasn't until you saw those frozen gold eyes and heard they chiding demeanor that you knew just how wicked the powerful lord from the north could be.

 

His fingers closed in on a tuft of his fur blanket, the one he hardly ever had the pleasure of curling up against anymore. So he was in his room? They were never in his room. He tried to piece together thoughts of just how they had ended up in his room last night. He took a whiff of the air, and found that although Sesshomaru's scent lingered, as it did on practically everything he owned, he could tell that his mate had not been in this room for quite some time.

 

Mate…why did that word suddenly sound so foreign on his lips?

 

Golden eyes shot open as the horror of what had taken place in the last two days flooded into his head.

 

“No!” he cried out in anguish, feeling once more the emptiness that came with only having half of your soul. Sesshomaru was right, he was too hot tempered for his own good. He did stuff on instinct, and almost always regretted them later. How…how could he have possibly been so stupid?

 

Jumping out of his futon, Inuyasha grabbed a robe from out of his closest and tossed it precariously over his shoulders so that he was running down the hall in just that and his blood stained hakama. He didn't deserve Sesshomaru. He didn't deserve anyone! He loved his stepbrother more than anything in this world, and yet he had thrown everything he desired away over a silly skirmish.

 

He chided himself; okay, so it wasn't just a small skirmish, but compared to what it was thathe had given up because of it, the damn thing reallydidn't seem to hold any of the power it had previously held over him.

 

He skidded to a halt just outside of his stepbrother's door, but that was only because guards seemed to be blocking the entrance. Inuyasha sneered. He had a good idea who had orchestrated such a thing, because one of the guards happened to be Sesshomaru's mother.

 

“Amarante.Get the hell out of my way…I need to speak with Sesshomaru!” The woman sighed, glancing worriedly in the direction of her son's door before turning to glare at him.

 

“You need to leave at once, Inuyasha. No one is allowed to see my son in this state, especially not you.” She gave him a look that screamed `home wrecker' but he could give a fuck less about her anxieties.

 

No, what troubled him more was what she had said about Sesshomaru. What state could he possibly be in? The youkai was one of the most put together beings he had ever met, and so what possible reason could he have to not allow visitors? “What are you talking about?” He asked in worry, none too happy with how her eyes narrowed even more at his question.

 

“You are a coddled, spoiled,little brat who thinks of nothing other than yourself.” She spat. “What did you think was going to happen when you decided on something such as this? You are too brash and arrogant for your own good, and what…are you here now because you regret your decision?” She got up from her seat, turning icy blue eyes onto him. “Are you going to beg for him to take you back?”

 

He turned his head to the side, ashamed that he had been read so easily. His earlier anger had faded. “I…I just want to talk to him.” He muttered dejectedly. The truth was that the smell of his lover just beyond the door was enough for Inuyashato throw all pretenses aside and deck the bitch in his way.

 

“Well I can assure you he does not wish to speak with you. You will not be allowed near my son until after this bond is broken. I will not allow you to further taint his heart with your filth.” A growl ripped through his throat at the insult, and hitting his father's new wife was looking like a better and better option.

 

“I don't need to hear that coming from you! Besides when the hell did you start caring for your son…He'd have been better raised by a radish than you!” His fists balled up at his sides, and he smirked in satisfaction at the infuriated look that covered her face.

 

That smirk though soon turned into a wince as Amarante struck out at him, slapping him as hard as she could across the face. “How dare you!” She snarled. “You are a curse on your father's name, and the only thing I regret is that I didn't get to him before he slept with your filthy ningen whore of a mother!”

 

“You bitch!” He growled, flexing his claws and raising them upwards for the attack. There was no one who talked of his mother like that and got away with it! He brought his hand down to strike, but just before heclawed the whore's eyes out, his hand was grabbed.

 

Golden eyes widened as his eyes fell onto Sesshomaru. He had grabbed his arm at the last second before he had sliced Amarante. “That is enough, Inuyasha. I will speak to you now if you wish it so badly.” Inuyasha could only dumbly nod as his hand was dropped. There was something different about his soon to be ex-mate. It was his eyes…they looked dead.

 

“Sesshomaru, I do not think it is wise for you to speak to this half-breed until the mating bond is broken.” Inuyasha once more glared at Amarante, but unfortunately his stepbrother gave no sign of emotion whatsoever. No, those few emotions that he did have seemed to have frozen over.

 

“Do not presume to tell me what I can or can not do. You are my blood and so I did not let Inuyasha slay you, but make no mistake about it, if you speak to him like that or ever touch him again I'll kill you myself.” He replied in a dead like tone. Sesshomaru turned towards the hanyou, looking at him, and yet Inuyasha could tell that he wasn't really being seen. “Shall we take a walk then?”

 

Without a confirmation, Sesshomaru turned and began to walk with regal grace down the hall towards one ofthe castle'sexits. He seemed just as perfect as ever, and yet you would have to really know him to tell that he was acting more like a lifeless puppet on strings than anything else. Why was he acting so changed? Had what Inuyasha done really hurt him that much?

 

Wordlessly he followed the youkai out into the garden and out toward the sakura trees that his lover seemed to be rather fond of. It was only after Sesshomaru had found a good one which he could lean against that he even seemed to acknowledge his presence. Though it's not like he did a very good job at that either…all he really did was look up at him with that same damn empty expression as if daring him to insult him with an excuse for what he had done.

 

“I was hurting, Sessh…Can't you understand that?” Inuyasha tried to defend himself, but he got no response from the youkai. “What you did was horrible, and honestly chances are that I probably made the right decision…but that doesn't mean I don't love you…it doesn't mean I don't want you.”

 

Inuyasha would have assumed that his stepbrother wasn't even listening if it wasn't for the fact that he turned his head to the side in disgust. “I don't need your pity. It was just sex anyways…at least now I'm free to screw better youkai then you without having to listen to you bitch about it.”

 

Golden orbs narrowed in a glare at that. “Oh, yeah? You sound real convincing, too…the truth is, Sesshomaru, that you're hurting just as much as me…the only difference is that you won't admit it!” Inuyasha stomped forward, grabbing at Sesshomaru's chin and twisting it angrily so that they were facing each other. “Just look at you…I'd think you were dead if I couldn't see your pulse beating. Emotions aren't a burden like you make them out to be…they can be a strength!”

 

The hand resting on the youkai's chin was slapped away as Sesshomaru pushed the hanyou out from in front of him. “Shut up…just shut up for once!” He growled. “You preach so damn much it makes me sick!” Inuyasha's eyes widened at his lover's suddenoutburst, and couldn't help but just stare on in horror as Sesshomaru seemed to be venting his frustrations... his emotions. “You are a hypocrite, Inuyasha, and I was a fool to think thatyou could ever be anything more to me than a good hole to fuck.”

 

Their earlier conversation came back to him…just before this whole nightmare had started. Sesshomaru had told him that he legitimately wanted to be with him, and that he wasn't just a useless hole to fuck. Inuyasha remembered thinking that it had to be a dream, and so in that dream he made Sesshomaru swear that he wouldn't throw such a thing back in his face later…that promise hadn't lasted long.

 

“If I'm a hypocrite then you're a goddamn liar!” Inuyasha snarled, anger coming back to him full force. “You've lied to me about everything…you've lied to me so much that I don't even know what's the truth anymore!” He turned away, not being able to look at his lover for what he intended to say next. “Maybe we're better this way…we're not good together. All we ever do is cause each other pain, and I can't stand hurting anymore.”

 

He stared long and hard at the ground, letting the silence eat away between them. How had things gone this wrong? He had been so happy just a little bit ago…so how?

 

Inuyasha slightly jumped as a hand was gently laid on his shoulder, and he looked up to see that same listless look on his lover's face. “Don't ponder life's complexities, mutt…you'll only end up hurting that miniscule brain of yours.” The hand withdrew as Sesshomaru turned to walk back towards the palace. “I shall see you at the ceremony tonight.”

 

Inuyasha let the fact go that the youkai had just outright insulted him in favor of more pressing issues.

 

The ceremony was tonight. It was tonight and all of the most important youkai from miles around would there…Naraku would be there. Seeing Naraku he could deal with because the mating between him and Sesshomaru had been dissolved…but not completely. He wouldn't be completely free from his stepbrother for two and half days, and the mark on his neck had still yet to fade.

 

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“Kagome, I can still see it!” Inuyasha exclaimed, desperately trying to stop from sneezing due to the mounds upon mounds of powder his friend was applying to his neck area. She had been steadily applying more and more make-up, and yet the mark on his neck still seemed clear as day to him. His face slackened a little in sadness. No, that wasn't right….it wasn't clear as day anymore….in fact his treasured mark had already began to steadily fade.

 

The miko huffed, purposely slamming down the case of powder and making it spread into the air, thoroughly making it so that Inuyasha was about to pass out from the barrage to his nostrils. He glared at her as he resisted the urge to sneeze. It would serve her right though if he did. He could just imagine it now…a nasty wet snotty mess all over her and her holier than thou attitude.

 

“I'm trying the best I can, you brat! Maybe if he didn't bite you every time the two of you guys had sex then it wouldn't be so hard to cover-up!” Inuyasha blushed scarlet at that, and was glad that Kagome had added so much white powder to his face as well for it sufficiently hid his embarrassment.

 

This sucked. The ceremony was in less than an hour, and he was still trying to find some way to hide his mark from every youkai in that room. He had yet to even attempt on his outfit, or on his demeanor. In his opinion this whole thing was going to suck. All of these incredibly powerful and influential demons were going to be there…and they were going to be asking him questions he had no answers for.

 

Where did Sesshomaru and he stand? Judging from their earlier conversation, Inuyasha wasn't entirely hopeful…but still. “Stop doing that.” Kagome huffed, and he looked at her in the reflection of the mirror as she tried to comb out his hair.

 

“Doing what? I'm lettin' yeh rip my scalp to shreds…I haven't even complained once!” It was true, her `brushing' was like pure torture on his sensitive head, but somehow he knew that's not what she meant.

 

Placing her hand on her hip, she glared at him in the mirror. “I mean it, Inuyasha.” Her face turned thoughtful. “You have to stop thinking about him…it's not fair to either of you.”

 

Okay, so he could get it not being fair to him, because he was supposed to be trying to move past it, but he failed to see how him thinking about his mate was unfair to Sesshomaru. Just the very assumption made his temper rise, and he pushed the girl away from his scalp, walking instead over towards his closet to try to find some clothes.

 

When he had invited his friend over to help him get ready, he hadn't thought that he would have to hear any of this crap. The truth was that he had thought Kagome would be understanding about it, and that's why he had picked her above anyone else. Sadly that didn't seem to be the case…Kagome had done nothing but make scathing remarks since she had gotten there.

 

He tried to push past it though, the last thing he wanted to do was get into yet another screaming match today…and Kagome definitely had a set of lungs on her. So he moved on to more important matters.

 

Fishing out his two most expensive kimonos, he laid them down on the bed in front of Kagome like he had seen Sesshomaru do so many times in the past when he was getting ready for anything important.

 

“Hey, Kags…do you think I should go with the black one with the dragons, or the red one with the phoenixes?” It was true that they were both gorgeous kimonos, made of the finest silk and embroidered with silver dragons and golden phoenixes, but even though he had asked the question, that wasn't really what was on his mind.

 

“Inuyasha, do you still love him?” The question was so direct, so forward, that he could do nothing but pause in his actions to stare morosely down at his bed.

 

Why was it that people tended to ask you the very question you never want asked at precisely the most inopportune oftimes? Smoothing out the fabric of his potential clothes, Inuyasha did his very best to avoid his friend's eyes. “Of course I do.”

 

“Then why are you doing this to him?” She placed a hand on his shoulder in worry. “Why are you doing this to yourself?” The miko stressed. “I understand that he did something awful to you, Inuyasha, and I can also understand your reaction…but thinking about him and talking to him like how you described out in the garden is not going to help either of you get over this!”

 

Well that certainly succeeded in bursting the little semblance of a bubble he called his patience. “Don't you think I'm trying?!” He smacked her hand off of him, glaring full heartily at his friend. “But you know this did only happen yesterday…I think I'm allowed a little leeway!”

 

Warm brown eyes filled with unshed tears as she seemed to see something within the hanyou that he didn't even see himself. “Oh, Inuyasha, I'm so sorry!” She cried out, falling forwards and latching onto him in an awkward embrace. “I know how much you care about him…I know how confused and hurt you must feel.” She burrowed her face into his chest. “I was just trying to look out for you…the both of you.”

 

Sighing in defeat, Inuyasha placed his arms around her shaking shoulders, drawing her deeper into the embrace. “You have nothing to apologize for.” He placed a friendly kiss on the top of her head. “Like always…this is entirelymy fault…and I'm scared. I don't know what to do…I don't know what I want…all I can do is try to get past this one minute at a time, and this minute right now involves picking out what to where for this hellish ceremony.”

 

When Kagome finally pulled away she had a smile on her face. She hastily wiped at her eyes as she nodded in confirmation to Inuyasha's earlier plight. “I understand completely…and as such, I think you should go for the red.”

 

Smirking, Inuyasha grabbed at the kimono with the phoenixes. “Well then…red it is.”

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For as long as he could remember, he had always hated these things. It was just something about the way that so many people would cluster together in one room and spew out nonsense about their lives, making others who could give a fuck less pretend like they actuallygave a damn. No one really cared that the demon next to him had gained 1500 acres in land and had a bastard child to boot…yet you had to listen to the incessant drawling and make them believe that you were actually going to remember it five minutes later.

 

This was worst than anything though. This time it was actually being hosted in his lands, and so he had to play the good heir and stand in the middle of the crowd, listening to story after story, and recite the one he had made up for himself. That story being that he was very happy to have gotten a new stepmother in his life, and it was almost a replacement for his own tragic loss. Oh, and how him and his stepbrother got along just swimmingly…they were as close as blood.

 

Inuyasha snorted.What a laugh. If that was his story, you just had to wonder how many of these other youkai's stories were pact full of lies as well.

 

Inuyasha sighed in contempt as he ran a hand through his hair in complete andutter boredom. Thankfully the night was about half over, and, although tedious, all that he had had to deal with so far is talking to his father's annoying friends about their lives. He had stayed in his little corner, and Sesshomaru was greeting people from across the courtyard. He had a feeling that his father had done this on purpose because before he had even joined the party he had been pulled aside and was promptlytold to behave. Behave…like he was some puppy who didn't know how to act.

 

A servant walked by with a tray full of drinks and, thinking that this was definitely a drinking period of time, he snatched one off of the tray quickly before they passed him by. The plum sake flooded into his mouth, making his taste buds tingle as he all but gulped it down. He could tell it was of the finest qualities, but that really wasn't surprising. Amarante was the one who had gotten all of the catering, and seeing as how it had been with his father's money, he knew that the price tag was rather high.

 

“Excuse me, good sir, but would you happen to know where I can fine a little bratty puppy dog that thinks he's a prince?” Inuyasha perked up from his drink at the voice, and as soon as he looked in front of him a ridiculously big smile covered his face.

 

A beautiful female inu-youkai about his age if not a little younger stood smirking in front of him, hell she even had the audacity to bite her lip as she turned her head to the side in question, the perfect picture of innocence. Inuyasha snorted.

Her hair, which was white with the faintest streaks of black through it was cut to just below her chin and held back in a ribbon. It had fallen in front of her chocolate brown eyes that twinkled with a mischievousness he had only known one person to ever show.

 

“Well, if it isn't Miss Lycani…tell me how is it that someone like you managed to get an invitation to this place? I thought I told the guards watching the castle not to let you in anymore.” He jested, loving the change in the usual dark conversations he had with everyone he knew.

 

Lycani poked him in the chest, waggling a finger at him. “Aw, but see I found a way to get around that…” She motioned him forward, and while trying to hide a smile he complied. “I just slept with every single one of them.”

 

Snorting, Inuyasha pushed the scantily clad girl away from him, noticing how she seemed to be trying her hardest to hold back laughter. He very obviously gave her the up and down, taking in how she was dressed in the shortest kimono he had ever seen. It was light pink and came downto midthigh. Her outfit was accentuated by the fact that she wore white leggings that came up to just below her kimono, showing off the long legs that she always used to kick him with.

 

“Yeah, you would, you slut…wearing something like that who could possibly resist you?” The inu-youkai stuck her lip out in a pout, leaning back as she faked hurt.

 

“Aw, now look what you've done;you've gone and hurt my feelings…I dressed like this to see my favorite wannabe youkai, and then you gotta go and call me slutty.” Giving into his laughter for the first time, Inuyasha couldn't help but break down in front of her.

 

Through his laughter he managed to catch another servant tray and snagged two more glasses of sake. “Well, I do appreciate the effort, and I am flattered that you would make up your little tomboy self for me…so will a drink make you feel better?”

 

Giving him a laugh, Lycani grabbed the drink and tipped it towards him before taking a sip. “I supposeit does seem to help a bit…but you know what you can really do to alleviate my pain?”

 

“What's that?” Inuyasha asked, knowing from the glint in her eye that it probably wasn't something he was going to like.

 

The girl grabbed his hand, and with her free one used it to point in the direction he had been avoiding all night. “You can start by introducing me to that new brother of yours.”

 

His smile fell. That had done its job in cutting off all the lightness of the conversation. Though Inuyasha reallydidn't know why he was surprised; Lycani and he were close. She lived on the opposite side of the country, but at any event like this they were inseparable…they always had been. Her father was an inu-youkai of great nobility, and their families dealt with each other all of thetime. In situations such as this Inuyasha usually sought the girl out and they talked forever about what had been going on, and not the fake stuff that he had been complaining about earlier. No, up until this point in his life he had confided everything into Lycani…she was one of his closest friends.

 

Seeing her confused expression, he shrugged, taking a gulp of his liquor as he tried to find a way out of his predicament. “Oh, trust me, you wouldn't want to meet him. He's a bastard…not near as fun to be around as I am.”

 

Pulling on his hand, she leaned forward. “Well, few are…but you still have to introduce us…`cause if you don't then I'll have to introduce myself as your annoying friend, and how dumb will I come off then?”

 

“As dumb as you really are, I imagine.” Inuyasha poked, wincing as he was hit hard in the shoulder.

 

“You jerk! Now you have to introduce me just so I can tell him how big of a bastard you are so he can kick your ass for me.” Inuyasha smirked.

 

“You talk so lady like,Lycani.” She shrugged, once more pulling on his hand.

 

“I try…now can we please go? I wanna hear all of the embarrassing stories I missed out on in not having seen you for almost a year.” The sad part is…that's probably exactly the reason why she wanted to talk to Sesshomaru.

 

Sighing in resignation, Inuyasha hung his head. There was no way he was going to get out of this, so the most he could do was just grit his teeth and hope things didn't turn out too insanely bad. He had no doubts that it was going to go horrible, but there were several degrees of horrible and he hoped it was one of the smaller ones.

 

“Alright I'll introduce you.” He muttered out dejectedly. “But I'm warning you that he's not at all nice…he's kind of an ass actually, so don't expect anything other than frigidness.” Clapping her hands together, she gave an excited squeal before grabbing hold of the arm offered to her by Inuyasha.

 

The walk to the other side of the courtyard might as well have been the walk of death in his opinion. Every single step he took forward was like one more step towards his inevitable damnation in the form of his mate…ex-mate…he wasn't even sure anymore. The vision that was Sesshomaru came into view the closer they got, and Inuyasha had to bite his tongue to stop the moan from escaping his mouth at just his stepbrother's appearance.

 

Sesshomaru was the epitome of stunning as he stood among all the nobles. Inuyasha noticed, with some annoyance, how everybody's eyes seemed to fixate on the spot where he stood, and honestly, he didn't blame any ofthem. The youkai looked absolutely gorgeous as he listened to some arduous story that some demon was spewing at him from under the influence of what looked to be an entire bottle of wine.

 

The inu-youkai seemed to radiate grace as he was dressed in an all white formal hakama and haori that had golden wings etched into the back. Wings…how strange. Sesshomaru may have looked like an angel, but he acted far from one. The noble talking his ear off seemed to have run out of his healthy supply of alcohol, and so he excused himself, conveniently around the same time Inuyasha made it up to his stepbrother.

 

Cold golden eyes narrowed in on him as he approached, and at seeing the look Sesshomaru was giving him, Inuyasha immediately withdrew his arm from Lycani…who just so happened to be almost bursting with excitement over this all. Trying not to make eye contact, Inuyasha motioned over to his friend, keeping his face to the ground the entire time.

 

“Sesshomaru, let me introduce you to Lady Lycani. She is a noble's daughter from the Eastern Lands, and a very good friend of mine.”

 

Giving her a nod, Sesshomaru looked her up and down, before going back to scanning the partyin a very bored manner. Now some might consider this rude, but Inuyasha was just relieved that his lover had been civil. All things considered that was probably the best response that could have come from him. He actually thought that if he could escort the girl away quickly that things might not go so terribly…well that was the case until Lycani decided to speak.

 

“Oh, Inuyasha don't be so modest!Tell you're brother how I'm the absolute greatest love of your life, and you die every time we have to part.” Well that certainly got Sesshomaru's focus back on them. His eyes narrowed to slits as he turned towards the pair, and Inuyasha could do nothing but put a hand to his forehead to try to hide from his predicament.

 

Usually everyone, including himself, loved Lycani's little jokes and spectacles…she seemed to be born to act, but this time…well, he didn't think she was going to get a good critique. “She's kidding of course.” He shot out to his lover, wary of the scene this could turn into. He then turned to the little troublemaker herself and gave her a glare. “Lycani, don't do that around Sesshomaru alright?”

 

She examined both dog demon's face, and then seemed to read something in both their expressions, for she gave a quick, understanding nod. “I see…that's so cute!” She clapped her hands together, seemingly lost in another world. Inuyasha could only imagine those wheels in her head turning and spinning out a no doubt countless number of stories. His suspicions were only confirmed when she turned to Sesshomaru and gave him a wink.

 

“Are you he?” Placing his drink down onto a tray, Sesshomaru seemed to be weighing a decision with himself; whether or not he was going to be an asshole, and it seemed that he gave into that little nice bone inside of him, for he just replied with…

 

“Excuse me?” His voice was ice cold, and yet not near as unfeeling as it had been that morning when they had spoken in the garden.

 

Lycani didn't seem to notice his standoffish attitude, for she just smiled at him. “Inuyasha's dream boy of course…the one he couldn't stop talking about the summer we spent together as kids when he was about this big.” She brought her hand down to her knees to show Inuyasha's height.

 

He could care less about the height reference, though. No, what he was really concerned about was how she had let slip probably one of his biggest secrets. He turned shocked eyes to Sesshomaru, who was staring directly at him with an unreadable expression as he seemed to be scanning his face for his answers.

 

Clearing his throat, Inuyasha grabbed Lycani by the shoulder and tugged her over so that he could whisper in her ear. Though knowing Sesshomaru's excellent hearing there was probably no point because the youkai probably heard every word of it. “Umm What the hell do you think you're doing?”

 

Raising an eyebrow, the girl looked speculatively between the two before turning back to Inuyasha. “I'm sorry…I just saw the badly covered mating mark on your neck, and then I saw the one on his, and so I only assumed that the two of you were…”

 

“We were.” Sesshomaru stated, not once looking at the girl. Inuyasha grimaced at the way it had been said. He had been fighting the urge to cry all day, and yet it seemed as if his stepbrother had already gotten over it.

 

Despite the hundreds of demons all over their estate, it seemed a silence had completely overtaken the entire veranda. “Oh…I'm so sorry, Inuyasha. I didn't know.” Great…as if he didn't have enough shit to deal with. Now he had to hear the fake sentiments coming from his friend that no doubt was looking down on him right now. He knew enough about youkai traditions to know that a failed mating bond was one of the most disdainful things you could do.

 

Inuyasha scratched his nose, trying his hardest not to look at either pairs of eyes that he could feel on him. “Yeah…well, you're sorry, I'm sorry…hell even the jackass standing next to us is probably sorry.” Still looking towards the floor, he grabbed his friend's hand. “Now that you've met my charming stepbrother can we please go? I'm sure Sesshomaru has plenty to do tonight.”

 

Lycani looked worriedly towards the hanyou. “Of course, but do you really think we should just leave?”

 

“Trust me, Lady Lycani, any disturbance you can chum up between these two is appreciated…they have way too much drama in their lives.” Shit…shit…shit! Inuyasha couldn't even hold back the contemptuous glare that he gave their interrupter.

 

“Well, Kagura, you know that would be the case if it was anyone except you, but sadly even when you intervene I never feel relieved because I just have this disgusting feeling that I've caught a disease just from being in your same vicinity.” Inuyasha stated, not at all liking how she had wrapped her arms around his mate. “And get your hands off of him you conniving bitch or swear I'll gut you in front of all these people.”

 

Okay, so maybe Sesshomaru wasn't the only one that had a bit of a possessive streak. She smiled at his ire, and the only thing he accomplished with his tirade was for her to pull Sesshomaru closer and place a small kiss on the side of his cheek. “What's the matter, Inuyasha, jealous?”

 

The hanyou was about to let his temper flare, but thankfully Lycani bailed him out before he made a scene. “Oh, Kagura…still chasing after something you'll never have? Must irk you terribly to realize that Inuyasha got to him first.”

 

At first Kagura's eyes narrowed in anger, but then she seemed to realize something, for her arms retreated from around Sesshomaru's shoulder and she strutted forward, coming to stand just in front of the female inu-youkai. “Oh, trust me, Inuyasha did not get to Sesshomaru first…I happen to know who did though.” She turned towards Inuyasha with a devilish glint. “What about it half-breed…wanna know who popped your lover's cherry?”

 

Kagura cried out as Sesshomaru's claw shot out, fisting into her hair as he pulled her backwards. “It's funny how all of you seem to be talking about me as if I'm not even here. If you have something to either say or ask me, I am only about a foot away.” His grip on her hair tightened as he pulled her close. “And if you ever so much as mention that incident again I'll slit your throat and rip yourtongue out through the wound.”

 

Releasing her, Sesshomaru threw her towards the hanyou, who moved out of the way before he would have the displeasure of touching her. He made a move to say something to the malcontent youkai, but without a word he walked away from all three of them, going to mingle with what looked to be some upper kitsune demons.

 

Inuyasha stood there in stunned silence as he watched his lover walk away from him in hate and left him with probably one of his most hated acquaintances. He turned eyes full of hatred towards the bitch sister of Naraku, and instead of even acknowledging her with a comment, instead all he did was grab Lycani and begin to drag her away.

 

“Come on, Lycani, let's get out of here…this party sucks anyways.” Giving him a nod, she allowed herself to be dragged away as Inuyasha led them into the mansion to escape the crowds.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

“Sweetie, I think that…well, I think that you've been moving way too fast. I think that's why you're so stressed.” Inuyasha grunted as he burrowed further into Lycani's lap. They had been in the foyer for over two hours where the hanyou had preceded to pour his heart out to his close friend that he hadn't seen for almost a year.

 

Thankfully she had been completely supportive. She had just petted his hair as he spilledout every last minute detail of what had been going on in the fucked up mess that was his life. “Yeah, well what was I supposed to do…wait a couple weeks and see if I could forgive him for completely fucking me over.”

 

She gave a small laugh, slapping his head a little before continuing in with the comfort. “That's not what I meant. I meant the whole thing…you just met him a couple of months ago right? Don't you think it was a little quick to fall in love and mate with your new illustrious stepbrother?”

 

Well, apparently the comforting part had come to an end. Pushing her hands off of him, he removed his head from her lap and chose instead to glare. “Oh, so what you're trying to say is that I'm a stupid idiot for falling in love?”

 

Inuyasha yelped as hand flew out, smacking him across the head. “You dork…I see that temper of yours hasn't cooled down any in the last year. You always overreact to things…it quite irksome.”

 

“Well, you know what else is irksome…your face!” Inuyasha shot back, not at all caring that that was probably one of the worst comebacks to ever exist. No, he was more concerned with how his supposed friend was now getting down on him just as much as everyone else.

 

She smiled at the obvious lack of talent in insults, and instead of getting angry, went back to her calm explanation. “Don't get over dramatic, Inuyasha…I only meant that you guys hardly knew each other when this happened.” She tilted her head to the side. “Truthfullythough, do you even know anything about him? I know Kagura…and honestly I probably know more your boy toy than you do…Sesshomaru doesn't exactly seem like the sharing type.”

 

“I know stuff about him…like…” Inuyasha paused, trying to think of an example only to find his mind blank. Okay, so it was true that Sesshomaru and he never really talked, but he had to know something…yet he couldn't think of a single thing. “Okay, so I don't know much about him…but I know thelittle things.”

 

Lycani gave a sigh, patting him on the shoulder. “I know you probably do…but have you ever even asked him about his past?” His past. No, he had never asked Sesshomaru about his past. He knew that he came from the North, but as for everything else, his stepbrother had never chosen to share. A prime example of his lack of knowledge would be the lackadaisical way he found out that he had once had a mate. Hell, he didn't even know who Sesshomaru's father was.

 

Sighing in defeat, Inuyasha shifted on the cushion. “Fine, I don't know about his past…so what? It doesn't matter anymore, the mating bond's broken. His past is none of my concern anymore.”

 

“But you still love him!” Inuyasha grunted. Why was it that everyone was asking him that today? Love…what did that have to do with anything? Love couldn't protect you, all it could do was hurt. If he didn't love Sesshomaru so damn much then his insides wouldn't feel like they were about to be ripped out all the time.

 

He was pretty sure that he had taken enough emotional damage for a lifetime, because he could actually feel the pain inside of him physically represented. His stomach had begun to hurt more than he had ever thought possible. In fact it hurt so bad that he had to actually double over and fall towards the floor.

 

“Inuyasha!” He heard Lycani cry, immediately rushing to his side. “Inuyasha, what's the matter!?” Concern was laced through her voice as she tried to see what was wrong with him, but the hanyou couldn't look at her and tell her that he was fine…no, he was much too gone to do something like that.

 

He gripped his stomach all the harder and tried to remain focused on his little patch of floor as his vision began to double. This wasn't good…this wasn't good at all. He had no idea what could possibly be wrong with him, but he felt as if he were dying. His heart ached with a want he couldn't place, and even through all of this pain he knew exactly where he needed to go.

 

“Sesshomaru…I need Sesshomaru…” He panted out between gasps of pain. “Please Lycani, you have to take me to my mate!”

 

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It was really hard to keep up such an emphatic image when all you really wanted to do was scream at the top of your lungs in frustration. Sesshomaru felt that way as he had to stand there and act polite in front of Inuyasha and his friend. He had to bite back his scathing remarks in exchange for cold stony silence. The strange thing was a couple months ago he wouldn't have hadany problem with it, because that would have been his actual response.

 

Not now though. No he just had to run into the one creature that was precisely the worst for him. Inuyasha with all of his flaws, had completely captivated him. It wasn't an act…it was nothing short of genuine. Sadly those flaws were what had split them apart. His hanyou had a short temper, and combined with Sesshomaru's invasive need to hurt everything around him he had successfully ostracized the one person he wanted to keep close.

 

He could never be with Inuyasha now. Not only because the hanyou would probably never have him, but he knew is pride would not allow him to go back to his lover after he had rejected him. Rejection, it was the one thing he could not forgive. Flashes of that smirking face from his past rose into his brain, and he grabbed another drink to drown it out. Usually he never touched alcohol, not thinking he needed to lower himself to such standards, but he had to have somethingto delude these awful thingscalledfeelings.

 

Memories that had taken him many years to repress were making there way to the surface, and he was beginning to feel things he hadn't since he was a teenager. He was starting to feel emotions that he was sure had long since died. He wasn't that youkai anymore though…he was no longer that naive child!

 

“Sesshomaru, you never listen to me. I told you that you fucking that puppy wouldn't turn out well.” Golden eyes shut in annoyance as he remembered who he had grabbed to follow him back into the castle.

 

Kagura…his supposed best friend. In the past she had been a relief from the daily monotony that was his life, but now her voice was enough to give him a headache. She would do for the role she had to play tonight though, and that was really all that mattered. He needed to feel the deadening of hissenses again, and he knew exactly whom he used to go to before to feel such a way.

 

Ignoring her comment, he simply just grabbed her arm and winged her into his room. Though, as soon as he made it past the threshold he almost changed his mind. His mate's scent filtered into his nose, making him wish it was Inuyasha that was currently dead set on removing the both of their clothes.

 

He smirked in satisfaction as, without a word of instruction, Kagura had already set to stripping them. She knew him too well…well either that or he had just trained her very, very well. Sesshomaru pushed on her bare shoulders, knocking her down on the bed that he had taken Inuyasha in so many times within the last month. Their lust still lingered on the blankets that the youkai had refused to have changed.

 

Crawling onto the bed naked, Sesshomaru immediately set to work, not bothering in much foreplay, he preferred to just get it over and done with, the less he had to be around Kagura the better. As he settled over her body, she placed a hand on his shoulder to make him pause.

 

“The bond's not broken yet…you realize he will feel it, right?” He raised an eyebrow at her, knowing that the concern in her voice was not one bit genuine.

 

“And here I never knew you cared for the mutt's well-being…and yes I know all about the ramifications of doing this.” Kagura smirked. He knew her concern was short lived, she probably just wanted to test the waters so that she didn't piss him off too much.

 

“You're a vindictive one, Sesshomaru…to be unfaithful to a mate is cruel in the worst cases, but that little stain seems to be head-over-heels in love with you. When he finds out it'll kill him.”

 

Knowing all about how Inuyasha would most likely react, Sesshomaru just gave a snort, and without a word of warning pushed himself inside her entrance. He couldn't get the little cretin's face out of his head as he continued to thrust, not really caring about what he was doing beyond the fact that he knew the kind of pain it would cause his mate.

 

He knew all about just how demented he had become since his years of youth. He knew it was wrong to actually want to cause Inuyasha so much pain, but such acts were all he knew. This was who he was…this was how he had been raised. Inuyasha had hurt him, and in retaliation he would do the one thing he knew would hurt the hanyou above all others…it was a defense mechanism, and it was all he knew.

 

Closing his eyes, he inhaled as a familiar scent filled his nostrils. The hanyou must be in immeasurable pain right then…pain that he had once again caused him. Inuyasha had been right with what he said that morning, they were bad for each other, and yet Sesshomaru knew that even so, he would never allow anyone else to have what was his.

 

Changing positions so that Kagura was in his lap, he kissed her neck in fake passion just as soon as Inuyasha came in to his line of sight while being supported by the female inu-youkai he had introduced as Lycani.

 

Inuyasha's eyes widened to saucers as his mouth dropped open in horror at the sight he was seeing through the conveniently open door. He was twisted, he knew that, but he couldn't help the smirk of satisfaction that came to his face atseeing his pain reflected on his hanyou's face. Sesshomaru had been hurt…why shouldn't he get back at the one who had causedit?

 

Raising her hips, Sesshomaru thrust a few more times, keeping his mutt in mind the entire time and tiredly released inside of Kagura, seeing how the last vestige of control Inuyasha had snapped at the exact same moment.

 

“What…what are you…” Inuyasha shook his head back and forth, obviously trying to reject what he was seeing. “No…you wouldn't….please say you wouldn't.”

 

Sesshomaru slid his hands up Kagura's back at the look of pure satisfaction she gave him before turning around on his lap so that she was facing the inu-prince. “Aww, Inuyasha…you're here early. I thought that we would at least have a few rounds before I got to see that lost puppy look on your face.”

 

The inu-youkai smirked to himself. Now if he knew his mutt he could tell that that was precisely the worst thing she could have said. Without a word he shrugged the girl off of him and went to grab his discarded hakama, watching in sick fascination as Inuyasha's face quickly turned from hurt to angered, and couldn't bring himself to intervene as he had this morning. Truthfully, he was sure that Kagura deserved whatever she got. One, because she was a bitch who reminded him way too much of his mother, and two, because she had hurt his mate…and he was the only one allowed to do such a thing.

 

“Bitch! You bitch!” Inuyasha yelled, launching himself towards her with claws drawn. She never stood a chance. He landed on top of her, letting his razor sharp nails dig into her shoulders, letting the stench of her blood permeate in the air. “I'll kill you! I'll fucking kill you for touching him!”

 

Kagura screamed out in agony as Inuyasha's nails withdrew from her shoulder only to immediately retaliate by slashing across her face, ripping it to shreds with blow after blow until you couldn't even tell there used to be a face there.

 

“Inuyasha, stop it!” The bitch he had brought with him screamed, tugging on his shoulder as she tried to get him to relent on his attack. Sesshomaru didn't think she was going to have a very easy time with that. No, Inuyasha's eyes had flooded red and he didn't think he had any more control over his actions than a wild beast by this time.

 

The futon was stained with blood as Inuyasha made one final slash, tearing up her chest so that she gave yet another scream. Sesshomaru couldn't bring himself to feel sorry for her though, he couldn't bring himself to feel anything. He supposed that his little experiment was a success, because he had effectively numbed himself yet again.

 

“Oh my god! Kagura! Kagura, are you alright!” Lycani screeched, running over to check on the wounded demonness. Inuyasha had abandoned one prey, but he had quickly turned his eyes on another.

 

Inuyasha seemed to radiate power and insanity as he flexed his blood stained claws, inching closer by the second. “You. Took. Her. In. Our. Bed.” He growled, over accentuating every word as he stalked all the more closer. “You knew…you knew I would know. You did this to hurt me!”

 

“Yes.” Sesshomaru stated, never once faltering by the fact that he had a murderous hanyou in front of him. “I did it so that I could witness that look of pure agony on your face that I saw when you walked in.” He walked closer, meeting Inuyasha half way. “I did it so that you would feel even an ounce of the pain I've had to endure through my life, and I could smirk in satisfaction when you turn out just as broken andbruised as I am.” He grabbed Inuyasha's face, pulling him close. “In other words, Inuyasha, I did this because I hate you…now take your bitch and get out. I have to get Kagura a healer before she bleeds to death and I have to worry about the death of the princess of the Northern Lands.”

 

Pushing him away, Sesshomaru never once gave an inclination that he had seen the switch in his lover's eyes from red to gold. Nor did respond to how Inuyasha had grabbed Lycani in horror and ran from the room. No, Sesshomaru noticed nothing…just like he felt nothing. Scooping an unconscious Kagura into his arms he headed towards the infirmary and hoped that such a feeling would remain.

 

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A.N- wow, everytime I think I can't get more evil…I'm sorry…but I was in a really bad mood when I wrote the last part of the chapter. I promise it'll get better…Sesshy is just a little crazy at the moment. Oh and look forward to the side story that tells his past…it's in production right now. Sorry for the long update, but please review nonetheless…it'll make me very happy! Thanks to Dembo for betaing!