InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ What I've become ❯ What I've become ( Chapter 1 )

What I've become 

One-Shot 

Rating: M - For language and mature situations. 

Genre: Romance

Summary: After two years apart, InuYasha changed into the very person Kagome hated. Through the drugs, pills and anger, they'd always love each other, no matter what he had become. 

Inspiration: Victor's blog! 

 

What I've become 

I hope my smile can distract you
I hope my fists can fight for two
So it never has to show 
And you'll never know  
 
I hope my love can blind you
I hope my arms can bind you
So you'll never have to see
What I've grown to be  
 
One may think I'm alright
But I need pills to sleep at night
I need lies to make it through the day 

She used to be my rock; kept me on a path that I knew, in my heart, would be the best. She helped me past my obstacles and she was the one who shared my laughter. I loved her. I wanted to be with her. But life had other plans and that's where I am now. 

I haven't heard from her for two years now.  

I used to be quite the rebel in Jr. High. I knew all the talk, and I wasn't afraid to throw a fist every now and then. I listened to my own rules and made my own place in society. I was my own person and I always would be. 

Until she transferred and changed everything. 

She was a B+ student, smart, funny, cute and feisty when it counted. Of course I started coming to school more to see her, even if all we did was fight about stupid shit. She started helping me in class - actually, forcing, more like it. She soon became a friend, and then, a best friend. 

My grades were up; my friends were plenty and my health, amazing. I quit drugs to be with her, even when all we did was study together. I started coming to school to see her, and I started talking to her to be her friend. 

Before I could even figure it out, I was in love with her. And before I had a chance, she was dating some punk. And then? 

I moved to Kyoto. 

It's been two years and now, in Shura High school, I'm the top rebel again. I run these halls, I'm the best and I am the strongest of the strongest. I don't take shit from anyone, and I sure as hell don't care what happens to me.  

I play with fire, dance with the devil and bet against death himself. 

Yeah, I'm at the top once more. You can fucking count on it. 

“'Yasha, fuckin' took you long enough!” I turned my head and glared at the guy next to me. I took the joint from my lips and burned it into his forearm. The guy screamed and pulled away, staring up at me with that sweet old fear. His blue eyes widened in surprise and fear as he looked back down to my hand, as if shocked I had just done that. 

“Shut the fuck up, Menomaru. You got what I asked for?” Menomaru nodded his head and then quickly pulled out a bag of sweet white powder; I eyed it and then took the bag, stuffing it into my pockets and pulling out a couple bills, throwing it to him. 

“See ya around…” I did a small salute as I turned and walked away from him. I saw others there, waiting to get their fix. I nodded to some of the ones I respected and glared at the ones who I didn't. 

My fingers curled around the small plastic bag in my pocket. Yeah. I did cocaine. I've done it quite a few times. I'm mostly a weed person, but every now and then, I like to lose it all. Especially on this day. 

I was going back to Tokyo.  

My mom and dad got transferred back and we were going back to stay. I cursed my luck when I heard the information. Fucking Tokyo. What was so special about that place? I growled and duck behind the school's bleachers.  

I opened the small plastic bag and smirked. 

If I was gonna have to leave, I might as well leave with a bang. I took out my text book and poured myself a line of cocaine. I wasn't addicted to the stuff, honest. Really, I could quit whenever I wanted. I liked the feeling I got but I was stronger then most, I could quit and stay clean; but I just didn't have a good enough reason to. 

I shrugged my shoulders and brought the text book up to my nose. Nothing mattered now. I told myself that before I felt the burn of the powder in my nostrils.

 

 

It's been a good three weeks since my last little cocaine endeavour. I was currently pulling up to Shikon high in my good old 1967 Impala. It took a while but I was able to get enough money to buy this sweet car. I pulled my keys out of the ignition and stepped out of my car, locking the doors after grabbing my black messenger bag and slinging it over my shoulder.

 

Fuck.

 

School was gay. But as a rule, I made sure to go to every class on the first day of school, and then, you know, skip for the rest of the year. Now, don't get me wrong, I was still actually quite intelligent, I just was never there to really do much.

 

I stuffed my keys and cell phone into my pockets as well as my hands, as I walked towards the front of the school. As soon as I opened the doors, seeing stares from other students I heard the school bell ring. I scuffed my black All Star converse and rolled my eyes.

 

I walked down the halls, trying to find my homeroom class. I passed a few late students, who stared at me. What? Did they never see Silver hair and gold eyes before? Oh, wait; okay, that was a stupid question.

 

I sighed as I stood in front of the door, straightening out my black T-shirt and black zip up sweater as well as my baggy-but-not-too-baggy jeans. I knocked on the door and waited.

 

The door opened to show an older woman, with a bob cut, black hair and brown eyes. She stepped aside and let me into the room. Right away I caught a few students' gazes.

 

“InuYasha Takahashi, correct?” I gave a curt nod. “Alright, class, meet the new student.” I gave another nod before I looked to the ground and weaved my way in between desks to sit in the back empty one. As soon as I sat down the students started conversing again.

 

I could feel stares, but only one felt like it burned the side of my head. I leaned back against my chair, and spread my legs a bit; crossing my arms over my chest, I glanced over before I froze.

 

Her.

 

The girl that left me for some punk-ass pussy, the girl I ran away from when I agreed to move away to Kyoto without much of a fight, was sitting next to me. Sure, this was her designated school and it was pretty small, but had she seriously not moved from that old Shrine since then? My eyes widened as I looked into her sapphire blues, still the same shade of blue as they always were. I couldn't tear my gaze away.

 

“Kagome, Kagome Higurashi! Yoohoo?!” The girl in front of Kagome snapped her fingers. Kagome blinked and turned to her, smiling and blushing a bit. I smirked inwardly. She was still as cute as ever, too innocent for her own good. She was just asking for trouble. I looked to the other girl and recognized her instantly.

 

Sango Yomoto. Kagome's best friend and a good friend of mine. Sango had had her ear phones in and didn't notice I had entered but when she looked at me her eyes widened and she stood out of her desk and hurriedly hugged me. I chuckled a bit and hugged her back awkwardly. Since when was Sango the touchy type?

 

I still remembered the punk girl who was more of a guy then some of my guy friends. She at least still looked the same with her cinnamon brown eyes and dark brown hair always tied into a high pony tail. She was just a bit shorter then me, and a bit taller then Kagome.

 

“InuYasha! What the hell? You transferred back!” I nodded my head and summed up what happened in few words. I was never one for talk; I usually listened as Kagome talked. Kagome was standing beside Sango, looking anywhere but my eyes. She still only came to about my shoulders, still as petite as before only now she matured. I stood as Sango talked and before I knew it, the bell rang.

 

I quickly said bye and booked it out to my next class. Seeing her reminded me of how far I had fallen. What I had become.

 

I needed a joint.

 

 

It had been two months since I first entered Shikon high, I skipped regularly, all to avoid her. I met up with my old best friend, Miroku and found he was the same good, perverted guy I had grown up with, only now he was dating Sango, the girl he had loved ever since elementary.

 

It was good to be back, seeing everyone I hadn't seen in a long while.

 

I even saw Kagome's ex-boyfriend, Koga Ookami, the guy she dated before I left. He was pretty chill, we smoked a few joints together, and while he was high, he had told me of what happened between him and Kagome. He said that they just didn't flow, that she was pining away over me and so they broke up only a month after I had left. I didn't dwell into the thought much.

 

I pulled the joint from my lips, breathing out smoke and sighing a bit. I had my next class with Kagome. History: our favourite class. We were always good at History and together, we were the dynamic duo. But I was never there, couldn't stand seeing her smile and hurting that way anymore.

 

I remembered back when my smile would distract her from whatever we were doing, even if we were fighting, I remembered when my fists would fight for not only myself but for us.

 

 

“I hope my smile can distract you,
I hope my fists can fight for two, 
So it never has to show,
And you'll never know.” 

 

“Fuck off Naraku. And if you fuck with Kagome one more time I'm seriously gonna mess you up.” I growled and clenched my fists, Naraku Onigumo, Shikon Jr. High's resident school bully had picked on Kagome again and this was the last straw.

 

“Ohh, like I'm scared of you, fucker.”

 

I lunged forward, giving him a quick but powerful right hook. He staggered back and held his jaw, looking up at me with shock before the principal appeared out of nowhere. I smirked before I was dragged away.

 

As I sat in the office, scuffing my shoes, I heard a slight cough next to me; I looked over and saw Kagome glaring at me.

 

Uh oh…

 

I smiled innocently before she came over, flicking me in the head.

 

“InuYasha! I told you to stop fighting! Retard, how old are you? Three?!” I suppressed a snarl because I knew Kagome was just worried about my permanent record. I made sure no one was looking and pulled her into my body, hugging her tightly. I felt her tense before she sighed and leaned into me.

 

“You know I'm still mad, idiot.”

 

I chuckled and gripped her tighter.

 

The only time, I promised myself then, that I would fight with my fists would be for Kagome.

 

 

I blew a puff of smoke again. That promise was broken my first week at the new school when someone decided to mess with me. Besides, what did it matter? Kagome wasn't on my side anymore, she wasn't here, how could I fight for her when I couldn't be with her?

 

I took another breath of smoke.

 

“InuYasha?” I looked over quickly, ready to extinguish my joint before I realized it wasn't a teacher. It was her. I rolled my eyes and kept on smoking. Kagome had always been against drugs, in any form. She was the reason I quit the first time, but fuck her, she wasn't that important. I watched through the corner of my eye as she walked to my side.

 

“What do you want?” I asked before she could get any further. She froze and then turned to face the opposite direction of me, seeing the field through the bleachers. I continued to smoke.

 

We didn't say anything for the whole hour. I didn't ask why she was skipping, especially since I knew she hated missing anything and she didn't ask why I was back or why I was like the InuYasha she first met.

 

Instead she stood by my side as I smoked, looking out to the open field before us.

 

 

I stood against the bleachers, not smoking this time. I usually only smoked once a day. Weed didn't even get me high anymore, just relaxed me. I checked my cell phone. Kagome would be here any minute now. In the last week, she had skipped History every other day and would merely stand beside me as I smoked. I never asked why and she never offered an answer.

 

We just stood in silence, and before I knew it, she had warmed my heart again. I was starting to actually go to History sometimes, so that she wouldn't get cold waiting outside with me. I know. I was weak. But when she shivered I just wanted to hold her.

 

And like that'd be happening anytime soon.

 

“You want to know why I skip History to be here?” I heard her voice and looked over. My hands were in my pocket, my back leaning against a bar. I shrugged my shoulders. This was the first time we ever spoke and if she was offering an answer, I'd take it.

 

“I wanted to let you know I still care about you.” She spoke in a voice barely above a whisper. I kept my composure but my heart was beating against my ribcage and my palms were growing moist.

 

“Like I care.” I said back, Kagome shrugged and stood next to me again. She leaned back against the same bar I was leaning on. I knew she understood the underlined message in my words.

 

I still care about you, too.

 

 

“I hope my love can blind you  
I hope my arms can bind you  
So you'll never have to see  
What I've grown to be  
 
One may think I'm alright  
But I need pills to sleep at night  
I need lies to make it through the day.”

 

I was so hyped up on cocaine it wasn't even funny. I had found a dealer just a few days ago, and now I was on my trip once more. I chuckled as I stood up and held the bars in front of me to keep steady. Oh geez, this was something.

 

“InuYasha?” I looked over to see two of Kagome. I tilted my head. When did she decide to become a twin? Did she know she was a twin? Can you decide to become a twin...? What would it be like to be a twin…?

 

“InuYasha!” Before I could comprehend, Kagome's small arms were around me, holding me. I could hear her sobs and though it was hazy, I could see her tears. She buried her head into my chest and shook her head over and over again, as if trying to pretend this wasn't real.

 

I could feel my heart break. What had I done? What had I become that turned me into this monster? I wrapped my arms around her shoulders, holding her close as tears stung my eyes.

 

This was enough to get me back to reality.

 

Who the hell was I? Somewhere along the path I had faltered. I wasn't InuYasha anymore and I think she knew that. Two years without Kagome led to my destruction. I couldn't even sleep without pills anymore; I couldn't go a day without a joint. At one point, I wasn't addicted, but now? Could I say the same?

 

No.

 

I was addicted, I was addicted to drugs. I had depended on them for so long, to replace Kagome and now I was too far lost.

 

I heard her sobbing my name.

 

For Kagome, I would try to find myself again.

 

I held her tightly to my body, burying my head into her shoulder and crying alongside her as she sobbed loudly against me.

 

I don't know what I've become, but I know I'll be better from now on.

 

For her.

 

 

“Yeah, this is a good paper…for a three year old.” I smirked as I proof read her history paper at lunch. Kagome threw her fist and punched my shoulder. I chuckled at her weak attempt and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, drawing her close as I continued to read her work.

 

“Talk about an abusive relationship!” Sango pointed out as Miroku sat next to her, an arm around her waist. Kagome stuck her tongue out.

 

“I seem to remember you knocking Miroku out cold last night at the movies!”

 

“Maybe the pervert should learn to keep his hands to himself…” Sango threatened. Miroku laughed nervously and retracted his hand. Kagome laughed and leaned back into me as I chuckled at Miroku's facial expression.

 

“Ok, so it's good, right?” She asked a bit nervous. I chuckled and nodded my head, handing her the paper and kissing her temple softly.

 

It had been six and a half months since my last cocaine use, as well as five months since my last joint. Don't get me wrong, it was fucking hard. I suffered from withdrawals and it took me a while before I could stop using pills to sleep but Kagome was always there.

 

She was there when I would shiver and hyperventilate, throw tantrums and sob for hours. She was there on the phone to talk to me until I fell asleep at night and she was there to keep me strong. Somewhere down life, Kagome and I had switched roles. No longer was I defending us with my fists, but now she was healing us with her heart.

 

“Ok, we got to get some Chem homework help, see you two tonight!” Sango smiled and waved as she dragged Miroku behind her. I watched as Miroku mouthed, “help” before Sango pulled him through the doors and shook my head. I felt Kagome's hand on my chest, her own way of telling me she wanted my attention. I looked down into her blue eyes and ran a hand slowly through her black hair.

 

“Yeah, babe?” I watched as she leaned up and place a soft innocent kiss on my lips. I instantly kissed her back, gently pressing my lips against her soft ones before she pulled back and smiled up at me shyly.

 

“What was that for?”

 

She smiled and placed another kiss on my cheek.

 

“I just wanted to let you know I'm so proud of you. And even if you hadn't changed, InuYasha…I'd still love you. I love you, no matter what you do or what you become.” She whispered. I could practically feel my heart growing with pride. I never felt more love for Kagome more then in that moment. I loved her and she was finally mine, nothing would come between us.

 

“I love you, too.” I whispered before I snagged her lips in another soft kiss.

 

For everything that had happened, for all the time we had lost, I knew what life was hinting at, hell, what fate was hinting at. No matter who I was, or what I became, I would always love Kagome.

 

Because that was what love was.

 

The power to change into something better for that one person.

 

And the power of not having to change for that one person.