InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ What If? ❯ Nothing I've Ever Known ( Chapter 7 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi

A few notes on the chapter:

1. Even thought I built up to the fight scene a bit with the drama, you'll soon see that it actually isn't the focal point of this chapter. Don't comment on how lame it was, I did it on purpose :)

2. Before anyone goes crazy with the flames, also know that the quote I used here is COMPLETELY INTENTIONAL, and done with a specific purpose in mind. I also used another of my favorite quotes ("I think you are a liar because you think you know what is true...") from Alison Croggon. LOVE HER! :) You'll all know what I'm talking about in a few minutes :)

3. **SPOILER ALERT** I told y'all in that beginning that I wouldn't have my characters falling in love with each other at "first sight, second sight, or any other SIGHT." Well, believe it or not, Kagome has now known Sesshoumaru a grand total of about four months. During that time, they've had relatively deep talks (as deep as Fluffy will allow, anyway) at least once every day. So don't go harping on me in this chapter that, "They fell in love too fast." Spending that much time with each other, I believe it's perfectly logical for feelings to be there by this time. **SPOILER ALERT**

4. I use smiley faces a lot, huh? Better stop that lol
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Right now, I feel just like a leaf on a breeze
Who knows where it's blowing? Who knows where it's going?
I find myself somewhere I—I never thought I'd be
I'm going 'round in circles, thinking about you and me
And how do I explain it when I don't know what to say?
What do I do now? So much has changed...

"Nothing I've Ever Known," Bryan Adams
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Chapter Seven: Nothing I've Ever Known

"All right, the rules are these: no leaving this field, no using a person or another's property for purposes of hiding or deflecting blows, and no inhuman attacks—Kagome, you don't really know any, so it pretty much goes only for you, Sesshoumaru. None of your poison claws and such. Raw strength doesn't count as inhuman for either of you, since it's as much a part of you as your eye color. All right, any questions? None? Then begin!"

After Susanowo's declaration, Kagome felt herself run cold. She and Sesshoumaru stood on opposite sides of a small field, which was situated on the far side of the island—the side Kagome and he had both never visited. He stood calmly, almost relaxed as he stared her down from across the expanse of thick grass, while she looked, she was sure, ready to either pee herself or flee.

As she watched, he drew his borrowed sword and held it loosely at his side, not even raising it in some shadow of defense. His cockiness pissed her off. He could at least act like this was troubling him!

Kagome drew her own borrowed sword as well. Susanowo promised to have one made for her as she was she was declared proficient at using the weapon, but that day had yet to come, so she was being loaned one of her uncle's most-used but still well-cared-for weapons.

Susanowo and her father stood far off to her right, hovering safely out of the way but keeping a watchful eye on the two.

Neither moved. Kagome felt that, in the moment, neither of them even breathed.

But someone had to make the first move. It didn't seem like Sesshoumaru would, so, attempting to steady herself with one last even inhale-exhale, she charged him, sword tilted slightly downward to make it easier to disperse the momentum of her attack when Sesshoumaru parried, as she knew he would.

He did exactly as she planned, and she twisted her blade in her hand with the inertia, swiping at his back in the same movement. He turned to face her and blocked the blow.

But he still wasn't leaving his defensive style. He couldn't even have the decency to seem annoyed by her attacks, as if she were a persistent fly he couldn't make go away. Instead, he was just the picture of complete and utter boredom.

Kagome felt herself warm with fury. Who was he to mock her this way? He wasn't the pinnacle of perfection, either!

Deciding that perhaps fighting dirty was her only chance of beating him—or at least holding her own long enough to look like she was a worthy opponent—Kagome kicked the ground, letting her foot slide on the browning grass a little, to make it seem as though she were going to kick Sesshoumaru's legs out from under him.

As expected, he immediately focused his defenses low. Quite pleased with herself at this sudden advantage, Kagome stepped on his sword and sliced at his throat. She knew she wouldn't hit him, her sword would be two inches from his skin thanks to her pulling her arm back a bit while she swiped, but it might still count as a winning blow by her father and uncle.

But Sesshoumaru saw what she had planned and easily ducked his head out of the way, knocking her own feet out from under her as he forcibly lifted his sword.

As Kagome fell to the ground, she felt her sword catch on Sesshoumaru's cheek and watched in a sort of stunned slowness as it drew a shallow red line vertically down the skin there.

She was sure Sesshoumaru would freak out now. He'd stop toying with her and flat out stab her where she lay. Or, at least, stop an inch or two from her skin so as to win here and now.

It seemed the Dog Prince had other ideas.

Kagome watched, confused and alarmed, as, instead of ending this now, Sesshoumaru seemed to be fighting himself. His brows came together, his face clouded over, and he glared at Kagome in an anger that was directed internally.

He seemed frozen, unable to make a move in his own mind.

Kagome slowly got to her feet and held her sword diagonally over her chest in a defensive pose, trying to ready herself to whatever he may decide to do once he came out of his daze. But what the hell was wrong with him in the first place?

For his part, Sesshoumaru was stunned. The momentary flick on his cheek was nothing. The wound was already healed thanks to his inflamed youki. But that inflamed youki was the reason for his surprise. It was like he suddenly had two voices in his own mind, one speaking from his instincts, the other his cold logic.

How dare she attack me! his youkai half was bellowing, and he felt himself almost growl as his instinctual fury almost took over him.

It is a duel, you know this; calm down, his logical mind was trying to reason with himself.

Bitches are submissive! The mate never challenges her male unless he is leading the pack incorrectly! This is unacceptable! Show her! Punish her!

This is a DUEL. We are SUPPOSED to be fighting!

Still, his instincts were screaming at him in ever-growing intensity. He had to punish her—no, that was ludicrous. It wasn't like they were mated. They weren't even declared interests of each other. What bearing should—?

Punish her. Show her who the alpha is!

With a frustrated, almost enraged growl, Sesshoumaru felt his logic give way. After all, sometimes, there's just no reasoning away your feelings.

Kagome couldn't stop the surprised yelp that fled her mouth as Sesshoumaru begin moving again.

He was different now. He was finally on the offensive, but it wasn't as Kagome had pictured. His movements were jerky, uncoordinated. They seemed to be made from anger, not an impassive desire to win the duel. But what reason could he have to be angry? Sure, it was the first time she'd ever scored a hit on him, no matter how insignificant, but that didn't mean he should blow off the handle about it.

She was barely able to deflect his strikes, which increasingly became faster and more infuriated.

Taking her completely by surprise, Sesshoumaru threw his sword away and started attacking with his claws and strength alone. Since this meant he needed closer proximity to her body in order to strike it, Kagome was now able to see the red glints in his eyes.

She focused herself out of her fear, and finally felt his inflamed youki swirling about him like a dangerously angry volcano that was only building up to the eruption.

She lashed out with her blade and, as she'd expected, his left hand shot out and caught it easily, holding it at bay. Blood trickled from his palm down his arm, but he seemed oblivious, merely glaring at her from his scant distance.

Making a last-ditch effort to score herself another hit, Kagome let out a furious scream of exertion, let go of her sword, balled up her right hand, and punched Sesshoumaru right in the mouth.

Obviously, with with her immortal abilities untapped and her human side weak as a newborn kitten (compared to him, anyway), Kagome's blunt force attack did practically nothing to the daiyoukai.

Except push him over the edge of control.

With an unexpectedly primeval snarl, Sesshoumaru lunged, his right hand wrapped snugly around her throat, pinning her to the ground with him resting gently atop her. Her sword was flung carelessly away, and his left hand, thus freed of prior obligations, snagged both her own, holding them over her head.

It suddenly struck her that her father and uncle were being awfully fucking quiet over there!

Sesshoumaru's irises were completely scarlet, but he seemed to be holding himself back from transforming. He wanted to hold on to his human form, but she couldn't fathom the reason.

Then again, she wasn't exactly in her right mind in that moment. To be precise, she was just about beside herself with fear. She had never seen the Dog Prince, normally so self-assured and quiet, so uninhibited, so out-of-control, so beyond her reach.

But then, he didn't seem to be completely out of her reach after all. He seemed to sense her fear. He reveled in it for an immeasurably long moment, tickling his sharp claws over her throat as though toying with the threat of killing her here and now.

Kagome felt her own heart beating in her chest, quick as a rabbit's. Her breathing escalated from sheer terror. The combined reactions, along with the rush of adrenaline in her system, made her feel as if she were literally vibrating with fear. Even though she clamped her mouth shut tight, a tiny whimper escaped her throat.

It was still loud enough to be heard by the youkai prince.

Kagome thought, surely, this was it for her. He'd had his moment of triumph, what he'd clearly been after in those moments, and now that it was over, he'd kill her.

She clenched her eyes shut tight and clenched her teeth so tightly she thought they'd just sink back into her gums. She waited for the finishing blow.

And waited.

And waited.

But she could still feel his weight on her. She could still hear him growling in—wait. He was still growling, but the tone and pitch of them had seemed to change.

She peeked open one eye. Yep, eyes still as red as freshly drawn blood. But the growls escaping his throat now weren't of anger or even irritation. They were actually quite pleasing to hear, she found, opening her other eye.

Still letting out that strangely pitched sound, Sesshoumaru's face found its way into her hair, which was spread out beneath her. She felt him run his nose along the side of her neck and shivered.

Then it hit her. Why his growls weren't scary anymore.

In his instinctual state, he was, for all intents and purposes, just another male dog. She knew about those. The alpha was almost always male, and he was usually only needed for the protection and order of the pack. Sesshoumaru had been instinctively demanding her submission, as if she were a female of his pack. Once he'd regained that, which he knew he had by the involuntary and humiliating whimper she'd let out, he'd dropped his aggressive behavior.

He was soothing her now.

"Excellent! Wonderful!"

The sudden and strange voice made Kagome flinch in shock. Sesshoumaru's eyes suddenly returned to their normal golden hue, as if Kagome's father's voice had been a glass of cold water awakening him.

Kagome blushed as his gaze took in their current position without surprise, but he didn't even have the decency to do that. He merely stood and took a step or two away from her to greet her approaching family.

Kagome, stalking after him, still caught his subtle clearing of the throat and shaking of his body, as though he were brushing off the previous mood or experience.

She grumbled under her breath the whole two or three minutes it took for her father and uncle to catch up to them.

Both were beaming.

"That was wonderful," Ryuujin repeated.

Sesshoumaru cocked an eyebrow. "It was a pathetic fight. Over in a matter of minutes."

The God of the Sea shook his head with a secretive smile. "Ah, but you don't know what we were actually looking for in the fight. True, I wanted to test both of you in strength and aptitude before you left, but I also wanted to test something else. You see, your relationship has confused me ever since I first met the two of you." His ever-changing eyes, now settled on a pleasant color of blue-gold, met Kagome's. "You were so independent for a girl of this time, this society. You would tease and joke and argue as though you almost believed you were a man. But, whenever an important decision came up, you deferred to Sesshoumaru."

"I did—uhh, do—not!" Kagome returned indignantly.

"Yes, you did and do," Susanowo supplied. He smirked condescendingly. "For example, just last night when propositioned about a duel—you turned to Sesshoumaru for the answer. Or, as my brother has told me, when you first arrived—you left nearly all the talking to Sesshoumaru, relying on him to guarantee you a tutor. The list goes on and on."

Kagome, realizing that they wouldn't be swayed, merely glared in furious silence.

"And you, Sesshoumaru," Ryuujin continued, "were the most bizarre. You seem to be a very impatient boy, I must say, and quite used to getting your own way with little resistance. Yet you made this tedious journey with my daughter of your own volition. You protect her, indulge her... even seem to love her."

Kagome had already decided not to believe a word the two men said. They weren't correct in their assumptions about her, so why should they be in their assumptions about Sesshoumaru? Thus, she was hardly shaken when this little arrow was sprung from its bow.

Sesshoumaru, however, went rigid. He neither confirmed nor denied what they were saying, but it was clear that what they surmised distressed him.

Merely trying to show solidarity and comfort him at the same time, Kagome laid a hand on his arm and said to her so-called family, "You've misunderstood, that's all there is to it."

With that, she walked back down the path that Ryuujin had taken her down earlier in the morning, which led back to the hidden house where he stayed when he had guests that couldn't breathe underwater.

After a few moments of silence, Sesshoumaru was suddenly right beside her, walking with her. He'd clearly used his demonic speed to catch up, and the suddenness of it left her a little breathless. But then she calmed herself down and continued walking.

He was clearly still agitated, and she didn't want to disturb him when he was so deep in thought.

Besides, she still blushed when she looked at him. Once she'd figured out he wasn't going to hurt her, that he was actually soothing her, the feelings his growls and nuzzles induced weren't anything close to fear. She shook her head, the blush on her face darkening, and quickened her step. Sesshoumaru matched her effortlessly.

Finally, breaking the silence with a voice low enough to almost be whisper, Sesshoumaru admitted, "Ryuujin-sama is correct."

Not really absorbing the meaning behind his words, Kagome immediately pounced. "Oh, come on. Don't turn on me now. They're just being idiots. We're allies."

Sesshoumaru nodded slowly, and righted Kagome absently when she tripped over a tree root because she was too busy watching his face then the path before her.

"I meant only that he is correct in assuming our relationship is somewhat... odd. I hadn't thought of it before, but now that he has brought it to my attention, I wonder why I didn't. It's rather obvious."

"What are you saying? That we do interact like an old married couple? Spare me, please. If this is what I have to look forward to in later life, I'll never get married."

He glanced at her levelly, but cocked a brow to let her know that her comment was unappreciated. She blushed a little guiltily. Perhaps that was a little rude...

"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm just angry. I hate that they think they're so important and powerful and all-knowing that they can just sit back and judge me—judge us."

He nodded again. "I understand that." He caught her arm and made her stop walking and face him. She felt her face go up in flames when her eyes met his. "But, Kagome, I think you are letting your indignation override your logic. Think of what they are saying, and look at the way we... interact. We are different."

Kagome felt her skin tingle with a chill she didn't receive from her tropical surroundings. "But why?" she whispered, and saw her own fear reflected in his golden eyes. She shook her head, banishing those kinds of thoughts. "I'm going back to my room now. I need to think. I don't mean to be rude, Sesshoumaru, but please don't come to talk with me after dinner tonight. I... really need to think."

He nodded, and raised his brows in a semblance of humor. "Believe me, I understand."

She gave him a half-hearted smile for his efforts before trudging back to the house. Sesshoumaru leaped away with his usual grace and dexterity.

Later that night in her bedroom, Kagome was visited by her father. After the awkward moment when she'd angrily thrown open the door, expecting Sesshoumaru despite her wishes, only to see her father, they'd sat down at her table and begun to talk seriously.

"I'm sorry if I've upset you, Kagome," he began, somewhat awkwardly. It was clear the God of the Sea was not accustomed to apologizing for anything. "I just wanted you to see what's right in front of you. In fact, I think that youkai of yours has already accepted the truth. I saw him thinking long and hard on it in the garden this afternoon. He seems to have come to peace with something. That's all I want for you."

"Come to peace with what?" she returned, a little grumpily.

The God took a deep breath, preparing to offend his daughter. "The truth," he said at last. "Right now, you cannot grasp it because you are a liar."

There was a long moment of silence, before Kagome finally exploded, "Excuse me?"

Her father met her gaze calmly. "You are half-human and were raised by humans and unfortunately, my dear, humans are all liars."

"You can't make such a generalization," Kagome protested vehemently. "I've known many good, honest humans. I'd like to think I'm one of them."

"You, and all other humans, are liars because you think you know what is true. You think you feel what is true. But you do not yet know what you do feel and what you do know."

"How so?"

"You desire and do not take. You love and are too afraid to feel your love. You conceal your vanity and pettiness from yourself." He took and short breath and looked her right in the eyes. "You are afraid to look into your soul and see what you are. That is why I think you are a liar."

He was gone before she could even form a rebuttal.

Unfortunately, that left her free to think on even more confusing thoughts than she'd previously had to deal with.

I don't defer to Sesshoumaru, she thought angrily. And I am not a liar!

You love and are too afraid to feel your love, he said. Whatever. Who the hell was she supposed to love anyway? She loved the mikos that had raised her. She loved Inu no Taisho for doing everything he did for her. She even loved Ryuujin, new as they were to each other. She wasn't afraid of any of that.

So where did Sesshoumaru feature?

All right, she admitted to herself, maybe—maybe—she respected his opinion more than most. But that was it. It was just coincidence that his opinions happened to be so logical and good that they wavered hers. And yes, maybe they did have an odd relationship or way of interacting, but then they were two really odd people to begin with. He was the distanced son of a dog general, and she was the half-ling child of a human and a god. They weren't meant to have a normal relationship.

But then... she did also seem to understand him better than most these days. The way he laughed with his eyes; it was so often missed by everyone else. In fact, he expressed almost every emotion he had through his eyes first and foremost. Why was she the only one who had seemed to figure that out?

And yes, when he'd pressed her into the grass and made those soft growls she did feel a certain fluttering in her stomach and lower regions, but that didn't mean anything. She was sure those growls would have induced the same reaction in almost any woman he'd subject to them.

But the thought of him pressing another woman into the grass and nuzzling her the way he had done to Kagome had her balling her fists in a fit of fury.

Oh, gods, she thought, nearly sobbing with fear and surprise, it can't be...

But it is...

But HOW?

How did this happen to me?

To US?

She finally saw that her father had been right all along. She was a liar. She was afraid. But who wouldn't be, in her position?

I've fallen in love with Sesshoumaru!

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