InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ What it is to Burn ❯ Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Inuyasha or any thing related to him. I only kidnap him on special occasions as in every day….

This is one of my first actual posted stories, so shoot me for any spelling or grammar mistakes. I try to keep those to a minimum, but I’m only human. Though I have a feeling those will be put to a lower quantity due to the wonderful Jcirmsa, he’s a big help!
Anywhos, I want to point out that in real life Japan has no secret service…as far as I know. From what I’ve learned, it would be Illegal for them. They were denied the privilege of a SS after WW 2, I do believe. So after you’ve shot me for any spelling errors, you can shoot my corpse for inaccuracy. But I could be wrong, they might, I’ve also heard that they have one. I think I heard that in one of Rozefire’s stories…hmmm. Maybe I’ll find that one day…

What it is to burn

&nbs p;

I don’t know when all of this had started, but sometime amidst my life it had. It had been wonderful, and even when I had first met him it was good, but as they say, ‘nothing gold can stay’. It’s true.

But even now as the tears ran down my face, and the walls were nothing but a blur, I was unsure once again. Should I hate him, or fear him, maybe both. Should I keep running, or turn to face him. I knew the last choice was one of an idiots. He was a monster, a cold blooded ruthless monster. It had to have been the alcohol that slowed him, for I know he could have easily caught me, and had on various times.

I didn’t even know where he was anymore, for all I knew he could be in front of me, waiting for the moment to attack.

I don’t think there was ever a time in my life that I had experienced such immense pain, or fear for that matter. All I wanted was to crawl up in a corner and sob, in the hopes that this horror would evaporate like a bad dream. A bad dream, that was my main wish, that I would wake up to a call from my loving boyfriend, not this monster that my fears had created. No this couldn’t be real. Bad things like this happened to bad people.

Inside I knew that wasn’t true. Bad things happened to good people, the ones who thought people were good and deserving, the ones who made easy prey.

I briefly wondered if this was all a game to him. Was I only a game? One that could be won easily? He always did enjoy his games, but had his mind become so wrapped up in them that even life was a game?

Was I his first game? I wouldn’t be surprised if I wasn’t, I mean his family was one of the richest in Tokyo. Maybe even Japan. They could cover up easily.

I think that was one of the things that scared me the most. That I could be erased in mere seconds. I was defying Naraku, I had even struck him. Jail was probably only a mere thought flitting across his mind.

Naraku had high connections, one involving the police, government and even Secret services. Any trace of Kagome Higurashi could be easily demolished, or I could have just been killed in some freak accident.

Just like that woman on the news. Her car had been smashed by a semi and a pickup, one from either side. Both of the truck drivers had remained alive, while the woman had been killed on impact. The news claimed that it was a ‘terrible incident that could not be prevented.’ I never believed it, especially seeing that the woman, Ms Noumori, was a rival of Naraku’s company. I remember him voicing his dislike for her one night, the next day she went ‘splat’ all over 54th street.. I never told anyone about what I knew, no one would believe me. I was the grand daughter of a shrine keeper, and he was the owner of a multi-million dollar company. It just wouldn’t work, besides, before I would even get home word would get to Naraku, and defying him was a no-no.

I snapped back into reality as I saw the door to that horror house. It was like a haven for me, a real life sanctuary. If I made it out alive I promised I would hold extra prayers to Buddha.

It was around the point when I grabbed the front door handle that I heard the loud thumping coming from the stairs that I had just descended. Naraku was smashed though and was having problems coming down the stairs. He was stumbling and cussing rather loudly.

For a second I froze. It was one of those moments when you knew that you had to run, but because of that you remained immobile That’s what happened to me. He was mere meters away now, closing in. I felt like a deer caught in the headlights, or like a little child with their hand in the cookie jar who had just been caught by the parents. I had to go and it was the knowledge that kept me form moving.

“Kagome,” he rasped, the dark voice causing me to shiver. “you don’t want to run, you know I’ll find you.” He was right, He always found me. “where would you go?”

I had always pitied a woman who fell victim to their boyfriends of husbands. They always seemed to close up in themselves, becoming so helpless. Soon I found my self in that same position.

‘Not this time.’ I thought, ‘Not this time.’

“No” I stated firmly.

Naraku seemed to stop in his advances. He seemed confused. This was the first time I had ever stood up to him. It was at this point that I realised that he really did think this was all a game. He thought he was winning and his prey just fought back.

I spoke the last words that I ever thought I would, and I spoke them loud and clear.

“goodbye, Naraku”

With that I opened the door and stepped through into a new world. I felt so proud to be finally speaking those words. I knew it wouldn’t last though. Naraku would snap out of his stupor and be right on my tail.

I quickly kicked off the abnormally tall heeled shoes and made a run for it. I guess when Naraku the shoes go he realised my true intent and made a grab for my arm. The years I had spent in track finally paid off and I was able to dodge His revolting grasp. His amazing reflexes had been dulled by the liquor giving me the upper hand. I used the new adrenaline rush to propel my self from the concrete drive way and down onto the street. I could here Naraku’s sloppy running from behind me, The rocks dug into my feet, but I knew that if I stopped Naraku would catch me. I didn’t want that.

I could here him slowing down, his feet landing less frequently and his steps becoming louder and his shoes hit the ground with a ‘thump’.

“I’ll find you, Kagome! Don’t think that I wont, You can’t get far!”

His threats ran out in the night for everyone to hear, but no one to listen. No one ever did, That was the rule of a big city, you got yourself into trouble, then you get yourself out. It wasn’t smart to knock on some random door either, that just wasn’t smart.

Instead I just kept running down the now empty street. I was to afraid of lay behind me than what lay ahead. I knew that if a mugger found me now I would be dead in the water. But still my fear kept me going down the dark daunting road.

Street lamps lit the street, they were positioned perfectly so that the shadows never hit the side walks. Something that I was thankful for. The shadows scared me, actually. The shadows were like a predator, watching you, wrapping you up in there web of deceit.

I knew by now that Naraku had to be a good amount behind me. The measurements I was unaware of. A fair amount. Finally I stopped running, my muscles hurt along with my feet from stray pebbles that dug into the flesh.

Absentmindedly I rubbed my hands along my upper arms in a hope to stay warm. That hope was completely discarded when a cold wind blew by. The colder season seemed to be mocking me, and at nights the temperatures tended to drop.

I sighed , I still had another kilometre or two to go before I reached home. In a normal that would be easy, but at this point I felt as though having cold feet would make me cry. It was probably true, too.

Whit every step I took my legs wanted to give out beneath me, but the thought of home was just too splendid. Maybe when I got home, I could take a nice hot bath, and let the bubbles sooth the aches.

Or maybe I could leave…

The idea sparked my interest. I could just up and leave, just leave town. Naraku would never see it coming, he wouldn’t think I possessed the nerve, then again either would I, until tonight. Things had come and gone, and things had pushed me over the edge. I guess at that point I was to disoriented to realise what I was really thinking, or what my choice would entail. But still I wondered, where would I go? What would I do? They weren't really financial questions, at that point I wasn't to worried.

Maybe Kyoto? I had been there a few times with My family, Grandpa had to go down for some kind of 'herby, convention, meeting' type thingy. I wasn't to interested, instead me and Mamma had gone shopping. I wouldn't be at a complete loss in Kyoto.

I was so involved in my own pathetic thoughts that I never noticed how far I had come, or that I was now standing in front of the stone steps leading up to the two story house I had come to call home. Slowly I let my gaze travel upwards to the House it self, up the hundreds of stone steps. So many times my friends had commented on the immense amount of steps, and questioned who had decided these to be a good idea. There truly were a lot. I had grown used to their questions and groans, now I merely shrugged and replied with, ‘Satan?’; It seemed to make them happy.

These stairs had become easy for me, I never even noticed the amount really until tonight. My home, my bed, my room, they all seemed so far away now. They were all beyond this concrete mountain.

‘one step at a time…’ I told my self, as I slowly placed my foot onto the first stone gradient.

I just kept repeating that in my head, ‘one step, just one more’. I guess it worked because I found my self rising up the stairs quickly .

Once I had fallen on these stairs, I was so embarrassed , everyone was watching, all of my friends from school, they all saw me plummet face first into the concrete. I had eventually laughed it off. That was back when I didn’t have a constantly abusive boyfriend, back when he only struck my pride. Some times I look back on those days, and find them fuzzy, what was it like back then? When I wasn’t worried for my life? When I though it was all just a phase he was going through, when I thought that it would all just pass.

At the top of the stairs, the grass slowly died as it met the concrete, going from it’s original greeny lushness, to an inert beige colour. I had never realised how nature could be so akin to someone’s life. The grass was no longer it’s original lush colour by the concrete. I guess it once was, I had never really stopped to consider it before. The closer the grass came to the placed down stones, the more it died. Just like me. The closer Naraku pressed himself into my life, the more I died inside. The more I became just like that dead brown grass. I was just like the grass. No one ever wondered how the grass lived it’s life before the stairs came. Just like no one would wonder what happened to the shop owners granddaughter. Mainly tourists came into Gramps’ shop, they wouldn’t ask where the girl had gone, the one who worked there every Monday and Thursday afternoons. They wouldn’t even know who I was. No one asked what happened to the grass, no one living even knew anymore, knew what the grass was like before the steps were introduced. Some would have found it strange that I was so obsessed with something so amazingly trivial, but I found it a little reassuring that something else shared my pain and confusion. Even if that something was a plant…

I felt like crying again, I didn’t want to leave my family behind. But at the same time I didn’t want to sit around and become a target for Naraku. Sometimes you just didn’t get to eat your pie.

With one final glance at the grass, I skittishly made my way across the yard to the two storied house sitting in the centre. The lawn was well kept, but not to a point that you had to wonder what other hobbies the occupants had, other than cutting the grass. It was one of the few houses left in Tokyo that even had a yard, or trees for that matter. It had been passes down through the family, built by my great grandfather’s own hands. It meant everything to the family.

A nice worn wooden porch lead up to the front door, it’s polished mahogany wood gleaming nicely in the barley visible moon light. At the base of the door was a smiling welcome mat. The little sewn in smiling bear, of course smiled up, in a very happy manner, as it was made to do. Under this little smiling bear lay the house key. I had always bothered my mother about leaving her key in such a cliché place. But then again, this home had never been robbed, whether that was because no one ever thought that anyone in the modern age would keep a key there, or if all of the robbers had decided that it wasn’t worth walking up all of those stairs, was still a mystery to me.

The key, as was expected of it, fit into the lock perfectly and the door was pushed open with ease. Quickly darting a glance into the house to make sure no one was up, I stuffed the key back into my mother’s ‘hiding’ place. The door closed with silence and ease, making no noise to awaken any resident. Slowly, I crept through the hall and past the kitchen. Glancing carefully at the kitchen, for an extra check that no one was awake getting a glass of water. It was a little Ironic, really. The one time I decided to sneak into my house, was the one time I didn’t want to get caught. Well, I guess I would never want to get caught. But this time, I really couldn’t get caught. The stairs lay across the room, so close, yet so far away, one loose floorboard and I could be mistaken as a burglar. I could already see Gramps running down the stairs in his Yukata his sacred sutras held high above his head, confident that he could face any creature. But he could never face Naraku. He couldn’t even face the family cat, Buyo. For his, and everyone’s safety, I had to leave.

My room was up at the top of the stairs, first door to the left, the cherry polished oak wood door. I had memorized every thing about that room. From the pink fluffy carpet to the flat pink drywall roof. Come to think of it…I had kind of grown out of all of that pink…

Each stair up, towards another step of my escape, creaked with an undignified squeak. It was hardly required. They were never this bad. Not even on their bad days. They were just being mean today. I firmly stick to that too, the stairs were in fact mean. They had no intention of letting me out of this house with out a fight. The stairs were hardly my greatest fight of the night, I had to admit that. Perhaps the optimist was finally breaching the dark pessimistic manifestation in which my mind had become.

Luckily the stairs never achieved their goals , no one stirred…once again.

My room seemed dark and dingy, in contrast to the warm vibe it once emitted. It didn’t seem like my room any more, but that of a stranger’s. perhaps it was because I knew that I would never sleep in that bed again., or study in that desk. How many times had I pulled an all nighter there? It seemed cruel to even think of sleeping here once again. Like I was tempting it with what it could never have. Never again would I curl into those pink sheets and relax in the warmth they offered. Never again, would I fall asleep at the wooden desk and wake up with a sore back.

Quickly I changed from those horrid clothes. Naraku had picked it out for me, it was his classic choice, short, skin tight and low cut. No self respecting woman would ever pick out something like that, never mind wearing it. I guess I just felt as though I had to please him in some way, even if it meant wearing his ridiculous outfits. Or perhaps I was just afraid of what he would do if I said no.

The dress crumpled to the ground without any dignity and it seemed to glare up at me for treating it’s expensive fabric that way. I knew it was stupid to think that a dress could glare, or look at you in anyway, for that matter. Bu this was different, the dress knew that I never did like it, or it’s glamour, and for that, it loathed me.

“I don’t care if you don’t like me,” I stated. Still the dress glowered up at me from it’s spot on the floor.

It was a little unnerving to know that I had just talked to an ‘angry’ dress, maybe it would be a new milestone in my life. Abandoning the dress, I made my way to my dresser and pulled out a pair of jeans and a simple black thick strapped tank top.

Silently changing into those, I silently prayed that I wouldn’t stumble and wake someone. I had been known to do that on occasions. I grabbed my hoodie and through it over my shoulder. I had gotten it from the school’s track team last year, I figured it could provide memories, if not warmth.

Memories…this place had so many. I had grown up on the shrine, growing on old legends that my grandfather would tell us. He would tell us stories of samurais and battles, Demons and humans. Sometimes they were told for a lesson, sometimes just to make us all laugh. My father descended form a long line of priests and priestesses, My grandfather being one of them.

My father had always been my hero, he was a strong man, spiritually, he thought me to be kind and how to love.

I had been seven when he passed on. It had been hard times, we almost lost the shrine. Gramps had to start selling his ancient artefacts, his family heirlooms, my family’s heirlooms. Mostly to elderly people and histologists.

Gramps used to take me down to his shop to sweet talk the customers. It seemed to help Gramps with tips. I would sit on the counter and smile brightly and tell them how my daddy had gotten sick, but that was okay, because now he was up with the angels and Grandma. I also told them of how my home was to be repossessed, and how we couldn’t pay our housing fee’s anymore ( at the time I didn’t really know what they were, I just knew it meant no more shrine). They immediately took pity in the form of money. I knew it was wrong to manipulate the customers into paying more, even at that age, but God, I wanted to keep the shrine.

After the selling of many precious heirlooms and many carefully woven speeches on my behalf, we were back in possession of the shrine. That house had the bad memories of my father’s death, our near poverty and the loss of some pretty special items. But it also had the good ones. The ones where my father and I would play ‘airplane’, the day that my mother announced that I was going to be a big sister to some fortunate, or unfortunate (how ever you saw it) baby. I liked to think that he had been a fortunate child, other than the fact that he never met his father.

I closed the door to my room, it almost felt as though I was closing a door to my life, which was most likely true, But I had no choice. Naraku had made it perfectly clear that he had no problem with killing me, and after tonight I had no doubts that he wanted to. If my story ever got out, forget if it reached the press, Naraku, the company and his family would be ruined. It was his best choice of action really.

As I walked down the stairs into the kitchen I was less careful of the squeaky boards. They had not woken anyone on the way up, so I saw no problem going down, besides, they knew who had won.

First stop was the kitchen. It was still kind of small compared to the rest of the house, but it was cozy. It had definitely been lived in. The mess vouched for that. The Coffee machine has several stains circling it’s usual place, from all of the times that someone had messed up and the coffee had spilled. Coffee stains had proved to be very tough to get out.

Under the phone was the number for the taxi and subway pamphlets. The papers were brightly coloured with little subways zooming by. These were actually meant to attract customers. The next sub left at two-thrity am. It was the last train of the night. With a quick glance out the window, I deducted that…I had no talent what so ever in telling time by the light, or lack of it. One word came to mind, dark, It was dark out side. With a defeated sigh, I looked up to the clock on the wall, one forty-five. I had forty Five minutes to call a cab, Arrive at the station and get on the train.

First on the list; call the Cab. Hiking my hand bag more onto my shoulder, I picked up the phone and dialled the now familiar cab number. So many times Naraku had gotten drunk, when he got to the point that he scared me, I would always call the cab. I knew the number off by heart at this point.

The Sub wasn’t that far away from the shrine, but I didn’t want to walk alone again. It was scary, to be frank. I made it home fine once, But I didn’t want to do it again.

With one swift move I hung up the phone and pocketed the brochure into my hoodie pocket. With one more toss of the handbag I was on my way out the door.

The key was placed back in it’s ‘rightful’ place. The place that Mama liked to keep it. Right under the mat. Standing straight once again, I breathed in a deep breath of the fall air. It burned my lungs as it made it’s way down. Once again I breathed out again watching as the puff of mist slowly dissolved into the night sky, as if had never been there. Once again I was brought to the attention of how I was comparing my life to the wonders of nature. Never before would a wisp of mist remind me of my slowly diminishing life.

The cab ride to the station was mostly quiet. The driver had attempted to make petty conversation, but stopped after he realised that I was in no mood to talk. I can’t deny that it was an uncomfortable ride, or the fact that I came off as an insufferable bitch, refusing to make eye contact or reply to his obvious attempts at a conversation. I just didn’t want to talk. If I did, then perhaps I would burst into tears right then and there and demand I was taken home again. When we arrived, I paid the driver and gave him a sad smile as I thanked him. His frown seemed to break, and he nodded his head in acknowledgment and he sped away into the night once again.

Once again I was left standing on the side of the road alone and confused. I suppose I wouldn’t be going to far away, but Naraku didn’t need to know that. Perhaps Mama didn’t either, perhaps it would be better this way. Maybe Naraku would even leave them alone now. I’m sure he would. Sighing seemed to have become one of my new hobbies, and I backed up that theory with another sigh as I made my way down the concrete steps to my awaiting destiny, what ever that was. My ticket was purchased and I walked away to seat myself on one of the waiting benches. I had never realised how many people rode the subways at four in the morning, but it was apparently quite a few. Even at these hours they were still in a rush. No one stopping to look at the cracks in the ground and wonder how they had come to be. They were trivial things. Man seemed to create things, knowing that they would be ruined. Why? What was the point of creating a floor that would only be ruined. It was inevitable, bound to happen. Why did the architects doom it to it’s fate?

Why would a grandfather hand his granddaughter to a rich jerk on a silver platter? Was that not somehow similar? He must have had some idea what it would be like…didn’t he? Things in life had suddenly become to difficult. They required the thinking power that I seemed to be lacking at the moment. Just like a big metallic angel, the train rolled in, saving me form my own patronising thoughts. I stepped up the large door as waited patiently for them to open. Slowly I felt my Confidence begin climb. By the rise of dawn, I would be a free woman. Free from Naraku, and hey, who knew, maybe I could even forget this one day, I knew I would sure try.

As I stepped onto the train My eyes watered and I smiled. The doors quietly closed and I wanted to cry all over again. This was it, I was on my way to Kyoto, My new city of dreams. For the time being, Naraku couldn’t get me.

I was finally free.

Well, Here’s the Prologue of ‘What it is to burn.’ I’m not amazingly happy with it, but it’s out now. I had a few comments earlier saying that I threw some comedy into the ‘Angsty’ moment, which overall ruined the mood. Sorry to all, but that is just my style. It’s how I work. I’m a pessimist, but I tend to always have a joke in the dark times. So you’ll all have to get used to it.

This chapter was supposed to be out sometime last week, but I was running behind. I had meant to finish it before Monday, and well, I’m a procrastinator, I didn’t get it done. I left for the ‘vans Warped Tour’ on Monday, and just got home last night. I’m bruised from moshing… and then I just got lazy and stopped working…and then I left once again for the UBC connect… So, sorry to my wonderful Muse and beta, Jcirmsa, for putting up with me, It means a ton!

Well, love to all who read this, You make my day! But make my day even better, and review Tetsuya! It will make her very happy!

Yukata (sp?)- The traditional Sleeping Kimono, I believe it is also used during the summer.