InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ What Matters the Most ❯ What Have We Done? ( Chapter 18 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

A\N: Okay, so this chapter we get more of my new character (who I’m becoming quite fond of because I can actually give her a lot of “on-screen” time and a personality at the same time, whereas Katashi’s pretty much only had short little cameo-like appearances) and a lot more Sesshy angst (which should drag on for a while yet-- sorry to people who don‘t like it, but it‘s necessary to my mood and plot at this moment). So lets get ready for that!

-AnimeRainChildOfLove - Lol, I’m updating like a mad author? Yeah, I guess. Don’t worry about burnout though-- As I’ve said before and am certain I’ll say again, I work better when I’m running on empty. That’s why I usually write stuff at night, believe it or not.

Anyway, someone’s playing this movie really loud that has a bunch of planes roaring about and breaking my eardrums and I can’t really concentrate at the moment, so... ~*~   What have we done?

Sesshomaru watched in complete silence as the old demon gently began removing the clothes wrapped around Inuyasha’s lower half, leaving the haori on, but pushing it high up his stomach.

Then she began prodding around Inuyasha’s abdomen, though what she was hoping to achieve was completely lost on Sesshomaru. When it caused an uncomfortable whimper to escaped from Inuyasha, however, he immediately sat forward, offering the healer a low growl of warning.

He had already failed to protect Inuyasha from so much in so short a time... There was no way in all the seven hells he would let him go through more.

‘Sesshomaru,’ Takehiko said in that same voice-- the voice she might use to try and calmly explain something to a tantrum-prone child ‘I must feel and make certain there are no serious internal injuries. It will cause him discomfort, but if there is nothing but minor damage then he should be in no pain from my procedure.’ Her words made sense, but Sesshomaru was still overcome by the desire to glare icily at her, before once again forcing himself to sit back (if not relax) in his chair again, only to spring up a moment later when Inuyasha’s eyes flickered and began writhing against their lids as Takehiko’s hands began a journey down between the hanyou’s legs to gently feel near his entrance.

A small keening noise full of pain and utter despair escaped Inuyasha as his eyes continued their desperate attempts to escape their captor lids.

Please’ Inuyasha whimpered out, his voice a low, broken whine that Sesshomaru could not recognise as anything he had ever heard emitted from his brother before. ‘Please stop.’

Sesshomaru growled low in his throat, his youkai howling within him with rage that his mate had been reduced to this, had been reduced to begging another. Takehiko sighed, though it was a sound of sadness, not one of the exasperated ones she had been directing at Sesshomaru lately, and gently pulled her hand away from the hanyou.

‘Sesshomaru’ the old healer said quietly, taking in the way Inuyasha’s claws had dug into the covers, making small holes in the bloody silk sheets. ‘Should he get violent I may need you to restrain him for me. We cannot risk him further injuring himself.’ Sesshomaru didn’t like the idea of restraining his own mate, but knew that, should Inuyasha start to struggle, he would have to. It didn’t seem that he would have to, though, because, while Inuyasha’s entire body had gone rigid, and his eyes were still continuing their frantic search for an exit from their constraining veils of skin, Inuyasha seemed to think that he could not fight, that something was there to hold him back, and so was remaining perfectly still as Takehiko began her gentle prodding of his stomach again.

Sesshomaru stared at his brother’s face, once so full of fire and arrogance was now a scrunched up mirror of distress and fear. He hated it. He knew that Inuyasha was never one to well hide his emotions, but fear and pain were never ones he let other people see. The fact that something had happened to possess him to reveal these traits was enough to make Sesshomaru’s blood run cold.

‘Inuyasha, what did that monster do to you?’ He wondered as he stared at his brother. His lover. His mate. Inuyasha was all three things, and, without his ever realising it, he had begun to accept it and want to act like those things in return to his brother. When the hell did this happen anyway? ‘What did you do to me?’ Sesshomaru silently asked in even more confusion than before. ‘A week ago I could not stand your presence. Now it aches to be without you and only when you are near do I feel as complete as I once was. No... I never feel that complete. I feel even more complete than that. You’ve become part of me, Inuyasha. You’ve become part of me, and I never even noticed. And now I even worry for your well-being. What have you done to me?’

Takehiko, oblivious to Sesshomaru’s internal conversation with the also oblivious hanyou, frowned about something, and, pushing the haori further up Inuyasha’s chest, she leaned forward and, of all things, pressed her ear against his stomach.

Sesshomaru stared at her in confusion, but did not even get the chance to consider speaking as the healer held up a silencing hand to him-- as though anticipating he might say something and wanting to stop him before he started.

The frown deepened on her ancient features and she raised her head. ‘How odd.’ She murmured, and Sesshomaru watched with his cold, blank slate of an expression, while inside his curiosity was peaked. The healer was always known to march to the beat of a different drum-- hell, some would even say she was marching to the beat of a different instrument altogether-- but that still didn’t explain why listening to his brother’s insides through his stomach should cause her to frown.

‘Lord Sesshomaru, when you mated with Inuyasha, which of you was seme?’

Sesshomaru’s eyes widened a small amount, but still enough to be noticeable (something he would later blame on his emotions current state of vulnerability due to Inuyasha’s current condition) as he took in what the healer had just said, the language she had just used.

‘Sesshomaru!’ The healer snapped, and he offered her a cold look. Her own eyes narrowed, flashing slightly in anger. ’Get over your pride boy, this is more important than your dignity or ego.’ She said, again surprising Sesshomaru: He had not been called “boy” since he was a few years younger than Inuyasha currently was, and never before by a demon who was not his father. ’Now, did you take him, or was it him who took you?’ The healer demanded, and Sesshomaru stared at her with hardened eyes, debating whether or not to answer, before slowly, reigning his youkai to keep it calm, saying ’I was the seme.’

Her eyes flickered with satisfaction belying the frown that worked it’s way back across her face and then nodded, reaching around to cover Inuyasha back up before getting to her feet, Sesshomaru rising at the same time as her.

‘He will need a bath’ she stated, eyeing the bloodied sheets and the dirt covering his hands and face ’and I shall prepare him a medicinal tea. There is little I can do after that. His best chance for recovery is in spiritual and mental healing. He will need you to be strong, Sesshomaru-- stronger than you have ever been.’

Sesshomaru eyed her for a moment. ’Do you suggest me weak, Lady Takehiko?’ He asked, and she rolled her eyes in barely suppressed agitation and exasperation (an act very few people could get away with with their heads still intact).

‘You are strong in body and mind, Sesshomaru, but you have little knowledge in the strengths of emotion, having locked your own away from the world for so long. You know little of the strengths that exist in the simplest shows of compassion and considerations-- the smallest touch can mean the world to a broken spirit, depending on who is giving it. You need these more powerful of weapons: compassion, trust and undeniable, unconditional love, because without them, your brother may never heal. And from you, more than anyone else, Inuyasha will need these things. Can you sacrifice your cold outer shell to save your brother?’

She moved slowly straightened and moved slowly toward the door while Sesshomaru stood, as close to dumbfounded as he had ever been before in his life, letting her words soak in.

‘I shall have some servants run a back for him-- I trust you can handle the cleaning of him yourself, Sesshomaru?’ She asked, and Sesshomaru heard the obvious challenge there: The old bitch youkai dared to test him, see if he would really be able to give Inuyasha any and all things that he needed to recuperate.

Glacier-gold met stormy-blue like lightning bolts meeting the thunderclouds for the first time, and the tension in the room increased tenfold before Sesshomaru offered the healer a small, stiff jerk of the head that indicated an agreement.

The healer offered him a small nod, and then a short half-bow, before stepping out of the room and gently closing the door behind her, and Sesshomaru waited until her footsteps and disappeared from ear-shot, before relaxing ever-so-slightly and again turning his attention to his brother.

Inuyasha had gone quiet again, his body a limp empty shell on the bed, though a small whimper escaped his lips and his body attempted to tense when Sesshomaru came nearer, as though the hanyou could sense his approach and feared he might do him some sort of harm.

“The smallest touch can mean the world to a broken spirit, depending on who is giving it.”

Takehiko’s voice rang in his head, and Sesshomaru, for once deciding to take the advice of another and ignore his own instincts, leaned forward and gently let his hand touch Inuyasha’s cheek.

In a flash Inuyasha’s eyes opened, so heated with rage and downright fury that the gold had turned a strange shade of auburn that burned and kindled with heat to match and rival that of the sun’s as a clawed and bloodied hand moved up and grabbed Sesshomaru’s hand before he could blink, a snarl escaping the hanyou’s throat as he stared with unfocused eyes at his assailant (or at least, what he seemed to think was his assailant, which was really a spot somewhat above and to the left of Sesshomaru), glazed gold and the snarl alone enough to send, if only for a moment, a small twinge of fear down Sesshomaru’s spine, but not nearly enough to hold all the anger Inuyasha felt. Anger at what had been done to him, that he had been unable to stop it, that he had been betrayed in such a manner in the first place, and determination that it would never, ever, happen again. No matter what.

They stayed like that a moment, Sesshomaru shocked into stunned silence and unable to even lift his arm left alone remove the iron grip his mate had on it. And then Inuyasha’s eyes flickered up in their sockets, a low whimper escaping his throat as they glazed over entirely and rolled up in his head, disappearing once more behind his lids, his grip slackening and dropping off of Sesshomaru’s wrist-- all within a manner of minutes, and, if it weren’t for the now fresh but quickly healed puncture wounds in his wrist, Sesshomaru might have wondered if it had happened at all.

After a moment more of staring at his brother, Sesshomaru’s senses returned to him, and he leaned down and gently began peeling away his brother’s filthy garments, brow furrowing every time the clothing stuck to skin, before wrapping Inuyasha in the silken sheets and lifting his brother to carry him toward the bathing chamber.

It was fairly easy (if slightly awkward) going as Inuyasha weighed barely more than a human girl of his age might, and seemed especially light and fragile today. The thing that actually caused the most hindrance was the sheet Inuyasha was wrapped in, which seemed to enjoy making a habit of slipping down and wrapping itself around Sesshomaru’s ankles in attempts to trip him. And it did not matter how often he stopped and tucked it back around his brother, it always found another way to sneak down for another attack (though Sesshomaru was far too dignified and graceful a youkai to actually allow the thing to trip him, it was coming dangerously close to making him loose his temper-- a sheet of all things!-- as well as dangerously close to being torn up into very little shreds and left for the servants to pick up).

About half-way there Sesshomaru felt someone’s eyes upon them, and he turned and looked up to find Rin, leaning on her crossed arms on the balcony hallway above them, concern and regret shining clearly in her eyes.

‘Is he dead?’ She asked tentatively, and Sesshomaru felt a strange amount of rage fill him at the ningen’s simple inquiry-- though if it hadn’t been for her, it may have taken him a while to realise his mates distress, she was still the one who put the crack that caused the thin ice beneath his and Inuyasha’s feet to give way, and that was something unforgivable.

‘No.’ Sesshomaru said, schooling his features and voice to keep all anger, all anything except ice from the ningen’s pathetically weak ears. ‘He is not dead. Your brother has broken him and he has shed tears of blood, but Naraku was not kind enough to grant him death as well. Death is something I can easily repair. What your brother has done has irreversibly torn Inuyasha. Death would have been better.’ And, though he knew his words to be true, his youkai thrashed slightly within him at the thought of him saying it would be better if his mate had died. The only reason he said that was, for one, he could bring Inuyasha back to life if he had died, and for another, Inuyasha would have quickly gotten over the idea of being dead. Rape would not be so easy for him. His actions in Sesshomaru’s room had been enough of a display to prove that.

Rin was staring down at him with wide eyes that flickered and lingered on Inuyasha’s torn and dirty face. ‘Tears of blood.’ She said, and Sesshomaru seemed to both raise and narrow his eyebrows (if such a feat were even possible) at her not-quite inquiry.

‘Do not play stupid, ningen, even if it does suite you. I know that you know what it means, so do not pretend to possess an innocence you do not. You know and understand what it means-- what your brother’s treachery truly was. Do not feign naivety. It will not help your cause.’

Rin looked at him, thin, but clearly visible shields of tears rising up to defend her eyes from the sight before her as she quietly said in a hoarse and almost broken tone ‘I’m sorry, Sesshomaru. Truly I am.’

Sesshomaru would have scoffed at her had he been the sort to do something as silly as scoffing and said ‘Your “sorry” does little to change the course of the past, and little to effect the happenings of the future.’ He turned away from the girl’s large brown eyes and said ‘You and your sister, though vile and wretched, have provided a service to me by alerting me to Inuyasha’s dilemma. As such I will not let your actions go unrewarded.’

‘We need and ask nothing of you, Sesshomaru--’ Rin said, but Sesshomaru cut her off with a look and she suddenly realised that this was not a request or an offer, but an order. And not one she would likely disobey if she valued her life at all. Which, at the moment, she really didn’t all that much.

‘You have leave to go or stay until I kill your brother.’ He said, though it was obvious the “go” was just there for appearances, and held no real meaning behind it. ‘Your aiding Inuyasha has earned you that much, but be warned-- if I so much as catch the scent of you in the same room as him, I will not hesitate to kill both you and your sister.’ He gave her a pointed look, seeing the fear lace her gaze at the mention of Kagura, and then he turned and swiftly walked away, leaving the grievious Rin standing alone behind him.

‘I’m sorry.’ She said again, quietly, tears of the utmost remorse and guilt beginning to slide down her cheeks, though she knew they would have little purpose to any who saw them. ‘I wished only to escape my brother. I never meant to harm either of you.’

Her voice fell gently to the deaf ears of the hallways, heard by none, and she slowly turned away, tears dripping off her chin and down to be absorbed into the thick carpet beneath her feet.

What had she done? ~*~

Glossary

Haori - I type of Japanese half-jacket

Hanyou - Half-demon

Youkai - Demon

Ningen - Human

(Any corrections for the glossary, let me know via email or review) ~*~  

A\N: I don’t really have anything else to say right now, so till the next chapter -- Ciao! ^_^