InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ What Matters the Most ❯ Hallucinations ( Chapter 65 )

A/N: Don’t have much to say-- hot as hell where I live right now which has made writing a bit difficult. Think I’m starting to get back on track though, so... *crosses fingers*

Anyway, I think I was in a particularly deranged state of mind when I wrote this... must have been, otherwise I wouldn’t have been so sadistic to poor inu, but... anyway, on with the story. ^_^   ~*~   Hallucinations

A low, tight whine tore at Inuyasha’s throat, falling harshly upon the deaf ears of the unforgiving room--the only sound Inuyasha had the energy left to make as he felt Naraku press more firmly into him from behind-- forcing his body deeper into Inuyasha’s agonized body.

The inuhanyou’s claws sunk deeply into the stone of the floor-- tearing up tiny pebbles that skittered unnoticed across the ground as every muscle in his body cramped up-- fighting in an insane and impossible effort to try and free themselves from the hold Naraku had on them-- to stop him from submitting to this bastard.

But he couldn’t stop it.

And not just because of his weakened and helpless state.

He wasn’t sure how it had happened, but... the collar Naraku had put on him... somehow seemed to be able to control his body... And he couldn’t move unless Naraku said so.

And, even worse, Naraku could do more than just hold him still... he could make him move. All it took was one little word from the spider, and Inuyasha would be forced to obey. No matter how much he resisted, no matter how hard he fought, he could never hold out for long against the collar’s control. The only thing he had any say over in his own body was his head. That seemed to be all that Naraku could not control about him. And, considering it was his body Naraku was after anyway, that meant very little to the hanyou.

Sometimes though, when the kumo was feeling particularly generous (or sadistic, it depended on how you looked at it), he wouldn’t order Inuyasha by use of the collar’s magic, so that Inuyasha could resist.

But, if the inu did that, then all the little teeth that dug so harshly into his flesh already sunk in even deeper, and the clamp tightened to an almost unbearable level-- pulling at his flesh and forcing his head back as it threatened to tear the chunk of skin it held captive off-- and more of that horrible agonizing poison would be released into his flesh, sometimes sending him into a temporary spasmic state that was not unlike a seizure until he was either released from the pain and slowly allowed to come back down and recover minutely before performing whatever task Naraku had asked of him, or else blacked out.

And with every encounter like this he had, he was slowly loosing more and more of his will to fight at all. It was just too much. His body was already spent in it’s comatose-like state, and he just didn’t have the energy to deal with the pain.

To make matters worse, when he had woken up after Naraku had placed the collar on him in the first place (which he imagined must have been at least two days ago), Tsukiko had no longer been with him, nor, according to his nose’s careful examination of the air, anywhere in the immediate area. In fact, he had absolutely no idea where she was, or how she was doing, or if Naraku still had her at all. All he knew was that she still had to be alive. His youki was telling him so. Maybe it wasn’t a lot to go on, but it was the only thing he had since Naraku wouldn’t reveal a damn thing. And that in and of itself was the only thing that stopped him from going completely insane-- The knowledge that this bastard still knew of his daughter’s whereabouts and still had her within his grasp and that, until Sesshomaru came, he was the only one who could ever have even a glimmer of a chance of raising her.

But so far... it didn’t seem like Sesshomaru was coming at all.

And he was beginning to loose hope...

A harsh thrust inside of his body had him snapping back into reality (something he was having a very difficult time distinguishing lately) at the same time as his head shot upwards, mouth gaping open in a silent scream as his spine arched desperately toward the floor despite the collar and Naraku’s hold upon him, his shoulder stiffening horribly with the pain.

And you really think he’d have been used to it by now.

That he’d be able to stand the pain and humiliation after bearing it time and time again like he had... but... he couldn’t. He wasn’t. No matter how many times Naraku did this to him, it still felt just as bad as the first...

His body trembled slightly, trying to hold the position, but soon all his muscles fell lax again, his body slumping back into the original position the accursed piece of leather about his neck had forced him into, as his head drooped down to rest between his hunched up shoulders.

The only thing that was keeping him in place anymore was Naraku’s grip around his hips-- squeezing him ever tighter with each thrust, bruising his already horribly sore muscles-- and the dark magic of the collar.

And, when the oni finally hit his peak, Inuyasha could not keep the look of abhorrence from his face, not his body’s shudders of revulsion down as he felt Naraku’s essence spill within him, mixing with the blood, and then trailing in a long, slick rope between the two of them when Naraku finally pulled out, breaking apart when the kumo stood up and falling to caress the pale skin of his thighs, making him tremble all the more.

The kumohanyou pulled away from the shivering body with a look of faint satisfaction on his face as he moved to replace his kimono about his body, and retie the long sash that accompanied it.

Inuyasha remained where he was forced to-- crouched and cramped on all fours, his muscles locked in a full-body cramp, internally spasming from their exertion and exhaustion as the demonic choker held him still.

Naraku took his time as he finished dressing-- his eyes never once leaving the lithe and broken frame of the hanyou, but refusing to otherwise acknowledge him or his predicament the entire time, until he was finished, by which time Inuyasha’s eyes were wide and sightless in the effort, and his breath was coming in thick, heavy and sporadic pants from within the prison of his chest.

Naraku watched him a moment more, a twisted and smug expression darkening his features, before he finally decided to release the tortured boy from his painful situation. Well, at least, the part of it that involved him being trapped on all fours and aching to just fall to the floor.

The kumo moved at a leisurely pace to settle himself down on the futon, propped up slightly against the wall, and then turned his eyes back to the boy.

‘Come here, Inuyasha.’

He watched as the hanyou’s body tensed even further in it’s usual weak effort to resist against his command, before slowly, rigid but too tired to fight further, the hanyou moved toward him in a stiff, tense and painful crawl, his tired golden orbs fixed on the floor the entire time as he reached the end of the futon, and there, much to his relief, the collar allowed him to stop.

Naraku, however, was not so generous, and, after a moment of silence, his hated voice sounded in Inuyasha’s abused ears.

‘Closer, hanyou.’ He said, making Inuyasha’s somnolent eyes glance up warily at his tone, but he did not argue, just obeyed. That was becoming a custom-- don’t question, just do. A “Do what I said because I said it and don’t concern yourself with why.” sort of situation.

And not one that he was at all happy with participating in.

Inuyasha bit his lip to stifle his sigh both pain, humiliation and pleasure when, as he got within arm’s length, Naraku grabbed hold of him, and directed his weary body down so that he lay across Naraku’s lap, his head resting too close for comfort near the apex of the hanyou’s thighs where he could still scent his own blood upon the kumo, and the bastards semen in a combination that made him want to vomit right then and there.

But he didn’t.

He held it back.

Because he, finally, was being allowed to just... rest.

He wasn’t about to take an opportunity like this for granted. Even if it did mean he had to be this close to the bastard.

He allowed himself to be lulled by the false sense of security Naraku was currently offering, his eyes drooping down to half-mast as he felt the hanyou’s hand gently but roughly stroking his hair, surprising the inu by the amount of domination the man was displaying in even this so simple of an act, and he could not help it as another whine escaped his lips-- one of helplessness and need for it all to stop, but laced also with very faint traces of relaxation... maybe even enjoyment.

Not things he wanted Naraku to know about, let alone feel himself, but... again... he was too tired to fight them off anymore.

And his youki withered a little at the answering chuckle he received as Naraku whispered a command, and Inuyasha felt his arms come to wrap loosely around the kumo’s waist, his face, in one of those rare moments when he lost control over it as well, nuzzling softly against his captors abdomen in a display of mock affection.

He didn’t know why, but for some reason Naraku seemed to like it when that happened. As though he could actually believe that Inuyasha would do that of his own free will if allowed, and yet... still didn’t want to make this situation any easier or more pleasant for the younger hanyou.

It was a conundrum to Inuyasha, and not one he wanted to spend anymore time contemplating.

Especially when he could be spending his time wondering why his vision was suddenly filled with white, and he found his own eyes staring broken and lost back at him from directly in front of his field of vision.

And he supposed he should be concerned, or maybe even alarmed at this, because, really, when you see yourself staring back at you when there was no plausible explanation for that to be happening, it was usually a good sign that you were loosing your mind.

Inuyasha, however, was not concerned.

Because, as far as he was concerned, this was one of the much more mild illusions he had been bearing witness to lately.

It seemed his mind had decided reality was no longer a pleasant enough place to live in (which was true enough) and lately he had found himself coming across several things that weren’t actually there.

He had had a whole conversation with one of his childhood friends, before it had suddenly dawned on him that, not only was said person no longer alive, but, if they were, they would certainly not be a child anymore, and would have absolutely no possible way of being here with in him.

By far the worst and best was when he “saw” Sesshomaru.

The day after Tsukiko had been taken from him, he had found himself loosing himself to fatigue and unconsciousness and sporadically, and waking up at random intervals in a similar fashion.

On one particular time this happened, he had been in a near frantic state after some nightmare of his mate and pups’ death, and had been in such a blind panic, he had very nearly seriously injured himself in his effort to get away and find his family.

He had been terribly surprised when soothing arms had wrapped around his waist, and a familiar voice had reached his ears, asking him what was wrong-- why he was struggling and... if he truly wanted to get away from him that badly.

And suddenly Inuyasha found himself no longer in Naraku’s room... he had been transported back to the cliff edge, his mind and body frantic and pumped full of fear from his unexpectedly human state as he stared up into the cold and concerned eyes of his elder brother.

And this was just like he remembered it being... only now.. he wasn’t afraid because he was human.

Inuyasha had found himself rendered temporarily immobile at the sight of his mate, and for long moments had down nothing but stare up at him in confusion, hurt, fear, pain, love... but then the concern filling Sesshomaru’s eyes overwhelmed him, and he could not stop himself from flinging himself forward, wrapping his arms tightly around his mate and sobbing desperately, rambling on words of fear and terror of how he had thought he was dead...

And for a moment he had stayed like that, locked with Sesshomaru-- his brother’s arms tight around him, trying to soothe him as he continued to cry against his shoulder...

Then everything had become hazy and suddenly began to fade away... and he remember Sesshomaru pulling back, stepping away from him and into a world of swirling grey haze, the look in his eyes no longer concerned or caring, but filled with loathing, disgust and malcontent.

‘Weak, filthy half-breed.’

That was all Sesshomaru said.

But it was filled with so many of the old, familiar emotions that he had thought they had put behind them... the hate and loathing... the desire to kill... and it burned him like no fire ever could-- searing his heart and branding it with agony as he watched his mate receding into the world of grey...

And Inuyasha had blinked-- only once to try and fight back the tears in his eyes-- and that had been it.

The tree was gone. The ravine was gone. The grey was gone. Sesshomaru was gone.

And he was back in Naraku’s room. Cold. Hurting. Terrified. And so... very... alone.

For several minutes or maybe hours he had just sat there, blinking in confusion at the endless stream of tears in his eyes as he stared around the dismal room, his heart still aching from the scene that had just played out... as his mind slowly but surely began to comprehend what had happened.

And, when he did, he could not hold back the tears anymore.

Everything about him ached.

His body. His mind. His heart. His soul.

Even his youki, which had been the only thing to retain any form of rationality (strange though it may seem) throughout his little hallucination, was crying out in agony within him, aching for his mate that he had been ripped away from all over again, and for his pups that he had barely been allowed to know.

And Inuyasha had thought he had known loneliness before that night.

But he had never known anything as empty and hollow feeling as that...

And he had not been able to escape it.

All he could do was curl up with his knees against his chest and cry, softly and shamelessly, until either sleep or death claimed him. Quite frankly, he had been hoping for the latter. But since when had the gods ever been that merciful on him?

He had woken up again the next day. Still trapped. Still hurting. And still alone.

Inuyasha could feel tears welling again in his eyes, and he quickly jerked away from those thoughts, turning his attention back towards what was going on around him, and trying to figure out what this hallucination was about.

He blinked his eyes once and looked the hallucination up and down, vaguely surprised to see that it was, in fact, not the illusion he had thought it was, but rather the form of a little girl-- albino-- with deep, dark, soulless eyes, and a mirror clutched firmly before her in two pale hands.

And Inuyasha realised suddenly that he had seen this girl before.

Not many times, of course, but every once in a while Naraku would bring her up here and view things happening elsewhere within her mirror.

Her name was Kanna, unless he was very much mistaken... and she was Kagura’s younger sister... Rin’s “half-sister.” Only, like Kagura, the albino and the ningen really weren’t related at all.

He began to wonder when Naraku had summoned the child here and why, but was distracted when the image in the mirror that had formerly been a reflection of his face, suddenly began to twist and shift to something else...

Something that made Inuyasha’s heart all but stop beating in his chest and had even his youki stilling within him, even though it continued it’s erratic pulsations as he continued to stare at the image Kanna now presented him and Naraku with.

Two white, fully transformed Inuyoukai, both the size of a fairly small mountain (or else an incredibly large hill) and with blazing eyes of crimson were racing were racing at rapid-fire speed through a forest-- their enormous paws leaving large crater-like holes in the earth as they effortlessly felled trees that blocked their paths, anger and determination pulsing strongly in their aura’s as their youki’s energy swirled visibly around them.

And, though there wasn’t really a lot to go on in the means of identifying the two, Inuyasha had absolutely no doubts in his mind about who the two giant dogs were.

And it seemed that, judging from the displeasure now seeping off from Naraku, the elder hanyou did as well.

Inuyasha could not help but tense slightly, his eyes casting a fearful glance up at Naraku, whose own crimson gaze was locked in something akin to wrath upon the surface of the mirror, which, after a moment more of showing the dogs and their journey, flickered and the faded back to it’s original ghostly and pale surface.

Naraku’s face stared at it a moment more, before his eyes flickered downward, just barely catching sight of Inuyasha as the hanyou quickly turned his face away, his breathing tense and heavy as he tried to hold back from letting Naraku become aware of any of what he was feeling from seeing that image, knowing it would only bring bad things.

Still, he could not hold back the small cringe when he heard Naraku’s voice echo into the room again, it’s tone laced with darkness and ice.

‘Hm. That is most disappointing. It would seem that they have located us sooner than I would have liked.’ His crimson eyes narrowed slightly as a small smirk tugged his lips upwards and his hand resumed it’s rough stroking of the hanyou’s hair. ‘Still, I think we might be able to have some fun with this.’

He caught sight of Inuyasha casting a fearful glance up at his face, and his smirk widened as his eyes glittered malevolently. ‘Yes... I think this could work to my advantage.’ He glanced over at Kanna, giving the small albino leave to go, before turning his attention back toward Inuyasha. ‘And you never know pet...’ He murmured near Inuyasha’s ear, making the appendage flick back and flatten. ‘You may be reunited with your mate sooner than I’d planned.’ ~*~

Glossary

Inuhanyou - Dog half-demon

Hanyou - Half-Demon

Kumo - Spider/Cloud

Inu - Dog

Youki - A demon’s spiritual energy

Oni - Devil/Ogre In this case, I’m going for devil

Kumohanyou - Spider half-demon

Ningen - Human

Inuyoukai - Dog-Demon ~*~  

Fluffymiyster - Lol, really? Huh, never thought of it like that. ^_^ -- Lol, I’ve seen all of all the movies but the fourth in english. I watched some in Japanese but I always have to stop because they all sound funny and it makes me wanna laugh, which kinda ruins the whole effect of it. You’re right though, Sess sounds really weird there. And really angry. All the guys sound angry and all the girls sound squeaky for some reason. No offence to the people who play them, of course, but... ^_^ Anyway, Inuyasha didn’t defeat Ryuukotsusei (I never know how to spell it either, but I think that’s right) in the movie he defeated him in the series to make Tetsusaiga lighter and unleash the backlash wave. Unless I’ve got the wrong guy-- I always get my side-villains mixed up. ^_^ He’s that dragon with the face in his head right (okay, that was a weird question, but... ^_^)? -- Lol, and don’t worry about it. You didn’t go on very long at all actually.

-CrimsonInHumanBlood - Lol, yep, doggies! Well, last chapter, anyway. Not so much this chapter. Still, probably gonna see more of Sess and InuTaisho next chapter. It’s all coming together now I think. -- >_< Gomen, I’m updating as fast as I can, which, unfortunately right now, isn’t very fast at all. Hope to rectify that soon though. ^_^ -- Lol, nope, he didn’t make it. ^_^ It’s always great to add the occasional blow to his pride now and again. ^_^

-Tryst - Lol, np, I know how difficult it is right now. Anyway, yeah, we finally get to see Sess and InuTaisho do something to try and get to Inuyasha... but you’re right, I do have a way of twisting things in an unexpected direction don’t I? Hm, wonder what I’m gonna do this time... ^_^

-____insert user here - Lol, for a second there I was start at your first cut off review, and I was just like... okay, it doesn’t look that long to me. ^_^ Anyway, not really important right now. ^_^ -- Lol, thanks. I’m glad you don’t think I sounded tired there. I say that a lot lately in my chaps don’t I? Yeesh. Maybe I’m just starting to get used to it now. ^_^ -- Lol, hell-man? Well that’s a new one. Never heard that before. Still, w/e works right? ^_^ -- Mm, I can’t tell you that. Although I can say that, if Naraku does get his ass kicked, it’s not gonna be easy going. As you said, I have a way of tricking you guys, and I don’t think I’m gonna let Inu and Sess down that easy... ^_^ -- It’s four? K, I’ll remember that. ^_^ Lol, and don’t worry, I don’t mind the backstory-- if I did, then it’s my own fault for asking in the first place. And I’m like that too. ^_^ -- Yeah, I can’t really imagine that would make for good classroom talk, but hey, at least it would be interesting. ^_^ -- Lol, yeah, I can say little bits of stuff in random languages (not right mind you, but I can still say them so ha!), but nothing constructive. I used to know how to say octopus in japanese (which can apparently be used as an insult o.O). Lol, I dunno, socks can be pretty gross... especially after gym class... *shudders* Still, there’s always things like shimatta and damare(<-- is that right? Or am I confused again?) so.... -- Lol, thanks, I feel better now. Well, except that people keep slapping me, but... ^_^ -- Mm, well I have to admit, they’re right-- you can be entertaining. You’ve gotten a couple of real-world chuckles out of me with some of your comments, which is actually a very hard thing to do. ^_^ Ok, I hope that didn’t sound like an insult... Cause it’s not supposed to be. >_< Anyway, no, you’re not confusing me. At least, not any more than I’m confusing myself, so it’s all good. ^_^ And you’re welcome, although no one should have to console you about your craziness. Everyone’s crazy. Or else they should be. It’s so much more fun! ^_^

-Crazy-Inuyasha-Girl - Glad you liked it, and of course I will. ^_^

-Inu-sesshomaru-luver - well, no blood mess right now, but maybe soon, neh? Maybe, maybe... Question is who’s it gonna be? ^_^ Sorry for making you wait though... you think you can wait a bit longer?

-maelia8 - *Looks review over and whistles* That’s a long one, neh? ^_^ Lol, better get to it then. ^_^ -- Yeah, I kinda noticed you weren’t here anymore. Glad it was just some business though and not lack of interest ^_^. -- Cool, I blew you away! ^_^ I’m glad you liked them though!! And you’re right, Sess’s head isn’t the best place to be at the moment... very depressing I would imagine. I’m sorry if I dragged that part of the story with Inu and Sess out a bit too long for you though, it’s just what my muses wanted to write, and I’ve learned the hard way that it’s never good to argue with them. Hopefully this chapter doesn’t follow in the same redundancy though, cause I’m working to get some more excitement back into the fic (hopefully soon) ^_^ I’m like that too though-- if i don’t think something’s happening, I lose interest. >_< Makes it hard for me to sit through most books because of that. And don’t worry, you don’t even need to be pardoned. You’re welcome to your tastes and besides you’re right-- I need to watch out for that in the future and try and get my muses to pay attention to me when I find it. Lol. ^_^ It’s actually better for you to tell me when you’re getting bored because it might help encourage me to try and think up new plot twists for ya. ^_^ -- Yes, my summer has been fairly busy. It’s calming down a bit now-- just in time for a big heatwave, so that’s nice. >_< Lol. And thanks! I’ll be sure to remember that! Of course, if there were readers out there (avid or not) then I probably wouldn’t be updating at all anymore. You guys keep the story going. ^_^ I hope you get some free time soon though, I know how crazy it can be sometimes. >_< And it’s good to know that you’re gonna keep reading! ^_^ Great, actually. ^_^ And I look forward to all your rambles, praise, humour, criticism, insanity and just anything else you might have to offer. ^_^ Anyway, on to your actual reviews. -- Lol, lots of people liked the interaction between Kagura and Sess. I actually expected people to dislike it or think it unbelievable, but apparently I was wrong. Again. ^_^ Glad you liked it too though! ^_^ And as to your query, at first, yeah, that was a big part of why Inuyasha wasn’t fighting back. He didn’t want Naraku to hurt Tsukiko. But it also has to do with some psychological and, now, physical aspects. The rape effected him in a very negative manner, as you can probably tell, and it would have made it very difficult for him to face Naraku, let alone fight him. I don’t know if I expressed that clearly or not. And now after all this time, his body is starting to weaken on him as well bit my bit. Does that help? And, of course, now he has the collar to deal with, as you said, and it’s providing him with more problems than just poisoning... ^_^ Yeah, don’t ya just love Naraku? Well, until he went and got that weird creepy body with the eyes and stuff, but that’s in the series, not here, so... ^_^ -- Wow, I feel special now!! ^_^ And I’m glad I could help even a little bit. ^_^

-Nahau - *beams* Thanks!!! ^_^ I’m glad you like it so much! ^_^

-Tai-san - Lol, glad you liked it, although I have to point out that of course Sess would go looking for him. In all my plot ideas there was never one where He didn’t go looking for Inu. Some where he didn’t find him, but that’s hardly the point... ^_^ -- Lol, well I can hardly help being sadistic to poor Inu and Sess-- it’s just so easy to torture them, and so much fun... ^_^ And don’t worry... even if Inu is saved from Naraku and they all go back home, there’s still a long road ahead for them even if they do win. And hopefully this chapter helped quell some of your curiosity, neh? ^_^ And Arigato once again! ^_^

-lare - Yeah, hasn’t marked Inuyasha yet... well, at least, not as a mate. He’s done some pretty good damage though, neh? ^_^ Yeah, I suppose it’s sweet. Although, then again, Sess was going pretty far into depression without his mate, so it might not be quite as selfless as we’re thinking neh? ^_^ Lol.

-Snowfall - *winces* yeah, I am torturing him a lot, aren’t I? Doesn’t seem to be easing up any either... still, Sess and InuTaisho at almost there, so maybe that might help him some? Knowing me, probably not, but... ^_^ -- Yeah, I figured it was time to send them on their way. Glad you like me adding Kagura too btw. ^_^ And I don’t think the barrier coming down has anything to do with Inu being raped... I don’t know if I made it clear enough in this chapter though... still, interesting idea. I didn’t think of that before. ^_^ Sorry for leaving off there, but that’s why it’s called a cliffy, isn’t it? It leaves the readers hanging and threatening the author’s life because of it. ^_^ -- Mm yes. I don’t know if trust is going to be the problem. I imagine Inu and Sess are probably gonna have to save the major part of the reunion until later-- after they kill Naraku... assuming, of course, that they do. ^_^ Not kill anyone off? Not even Naraku? Hm. That makes things a bit more difficult. Six-foot deep hole... you wouldn’t dare!... would you? ~*~  

A/N: Well that’s it for now.

And for curiosities sake, starvation and dehydration-- mingling in with whatever trauma he’s feeling inside and such-- would probably be the main causes right now for Inuyasha’s hallucinations.

Other traits of Dehydration/Starvation (though not all of these apply to both): Thirst, irritability, fatigue, weakness, apathy, emotional instability, chills, clammy skin, nausea, throbbing heart beat, loss of appetite, low blood pressure, Headache, cramps, shortness of breath, dizziness, confusion, tremors, tingling in arms, hands, and feet, irritated eyes, fainting, Visual problems, hallucinations, deafness, swollen tongue, kidney failure.

Yes, I realise I don’t have most of these right now, but bear with me on that. After all, Inuyasha has had some food and water while staying with Naraku, just not a lot. And hallucinations are sideeffects to some kinds of depressions, so yeah... ^_^

Anyway, that’s all till the next chapter... Ciao!