InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ When a door closes... ❯ The Courting-Part 3 ( Chapter 21 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Chapter 21- The Courting Part 3
Recap: Sango and Miroku are wed at last- if not as they might have planned, and Sesshomaru is coming to kill Inuyasha. Kagome, so far, has rejected Inuyasha’s proposal, but how is she in danger? Kouga‘s being set up by a now deranged Ayami, will he end up paying for it? What happens now? Read on!
This chapter takes place around the same time as the end of the last one.
When Kagome came out of her chamber the next morning, dressed in one of his gift kimonos and bow in hand, Inuyasha was torn between grinding his teeth and screaming at her...or just shamefully begging her to take him back. She was so beautiful, so-damn it! Perfect for him, he needed her and she needed him, she knew it, why was she doing this?


If she’d gone along with everything, was wearing one of his gifts today, why had she refused him last night? He’d obeyed every baka rule, tried to show her he understood and wanted her back, was sorry and would do whatever was needed to have her at his side where she belonged. Kagome had always forgiven him before! He didn’t understand. Wench. He secretly missed her skimpy future clothes though. Inuyasha-liked them, liked seeing her in them, even if he’d hated that others saw so much skin. But at least she wasn’t in that youkai smelling green and white outfit. He didn’t know how he felt about that thing-it made her look so different. Not like Kagome. Like someone entirely different.
Seeing his expression, she smiled hesitantly at him. Kagome had worn the kimono as a peace offering, a sort of apology. She didn’t know what else to do.
They ate quietly, and Inuyasha still had to wait for her to eat first, something that made Kagome uncomfortable. He wasn’t happy, looking more...resigned and grim than last night, and it made her stomach churn. Not that she really blamed him for being grouchy. After all, she had turned down his proposal last night by sleeping with her weapon ready, and they both knew it.
Kagome didn’t think he knew she’d stayed up half the night arguing with herself about it though.
What to do? She excused herself and walked outside, then strolled until she reached a good, sunny spot to sit in. Kagome pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapped her arms around them, and sighed. Her eyes drifted to the Hamayami beside her, then up at the sky, watching the clouds race by as she sat lost in thought. Tonight was the new moon. She wouldn’t be able to go through the well this month. Without her spiritual powers, even changed back, Kagome doubted she’d get through the barrier then in any case. Miroku was a very talented monk. If he’d felt the barrier would hold a month as Inuyasha apparently planned, it was probably hiding tricks to keep her here, human or not. So-what then? That meant she had to figure out what to do with Inuyasha. Yes or no?
If it were just Kagome Higurashi taking him back...it wouldn’t take much, she’d admit it to herself. The months they’d been apart had been pure misery, she’d missed him so much! Needed him. Loved him, warts and all. Three years, and they’d never been away from each other for more than a week at most, and then she‘d thought everything was settled, they‘d be together forever and poof! She was abandoned.


But she wasn’t a human girl anymore, having to decide just for herself. Why had Sesshomaru agreed to the claim and ordered her to come here and consider this? Why had Inuyasha suddenly decided he wanted her back in the first place? He’d dumped her as soon as he learned of her allegiance! Didn’t he realize she’d said no in the courtyard? That it wasn’t just an alliance mating now if she did take him back?


What if...he decided to try and keep her from Sesshomaru anyways? Darn them both! Sticking it in her lap like this. Kagome realized full well that Sesshomaru and Inuyasha were, in a way, using her to settle their differences. Darn them! Inutaisho males...stubborn, egotistical, bad tempered, prideful, arrogant little baka puppies! So alike, even if they‘d both deny it forever...and she-loved them both, if in different ways.
Choose wisely.
Kagome had thought she had. She’d picked her way, thought she’d found her center and herself again after so much confusion. Kagome had faced the same problem Inuyasha had struggled with, how to balance being both human and youkai, how to blend them both. She had chosen to be Lady Kagome of the Inu, to devote herself to her Clan and pack fully. To be youkai first. Where she had a place, a position and a family to stave off the loneliness and heartache of her change into a hanyou, losing so much in the process.


Now-she just didn’t know. Midoriko had said she’d need to find a new balance when...Inuyasha’d wished on the jewel for her...and not himself. Darn it. Kagome really thought she finally had it all sorted. That the basic question had been answered. That she knew who she was now.
Then he had to come back, and she’d realized she was fooling herself, one whiff of his scent and she was lost again. The hardest thing she’d ever done was fire that first hi-ya at him when they fought. The human wanted him back desperately but wasn‘t sure of trusting him after he‘d left. Inuyasha was a powerful hanyou, the youkai half kept urging her to either run him off as a threat...or to submit to him as mate. No in between. Torn, miserable, closing her eyes, she sighed to herself. They had to talk.
“You know, if you’re going to be watching me, the least you can do is sit with me,” Kagome commented finally, not looking up as she patted the grass beside her. He’d perched in a nearby tree as soon as she’d settled to watch her. Kagome had noted it, and ignored it. Eyes still closed, she followed his approach with her other senses as the mid morning sun beat down.
A sudden soft creak of live wood and a slight rustle of disturbed leaves. A gentle thump, almost too soft to hear. Then the whisper of cloth brushing grass, feet silent, his scent growing stronger as he closed the distance between them, tinged with nervousness. The tang of the Tetsusaiga’s own youkai...so similar to Tenseiga’s now familiar feel...a sudden strong and both deeply comforting and disturbing presence beside her.

And there he was, sitting next to her an arm’s length away, sword resting against his chest.
Inuyasha realized she’d been-following his movements. Damn, he wasn’t used to a Kagome who could do that. More a jumping, yelping ‘why did you sneak up on me?’ Kagome who didn‘t have a hanyou‘s senses and had never gotten used to his habitual quiet. He’d left before she really learned how to do that.
“So. Here we are again,” she began, not looking up or opening her eyes.

“Eh?” he frowned, looking at her closely...her scent had the flavor of distress and anxiety, but not fear...there was no tension in her shoulders, but in the seemingly relaxed posture, she was poised to act. He noted how Kagome was paying attention to her surroundings without seeming to, watching her ear twitch as she heard a bird in the distance and determined it wasn’t a sign of an enemy. Admired the calm confidence that she exuded, even in unfamiliar territory, that she‘d be able to handle anything...damn. Inuyasha felt sorry for anybody who tried to take her down these days, and not because he‘d get them, but because she would. So-why was she upset? Just tired, or was it him?
“I don’t understand,” the hanyou by birth said finally. The hanyou by wish opened her eyes and looked at him with confusion, taking a deep breath.

“Neither do I. Lord Inuyasha, why are you courting me?” Kagome asked directly, watching his reaction. She’d used the title deliberately. She had learned a lot from her brother and Lord. Kagome wanted to see which way he’d jump, just as she would evaluating a Clan problem. Which, in all honesty, this now was thanks to his claim on her. If she accepted him-he’d become a packmate, not the pack ally he would have been before if they’d mated. Kagome had to determine if he was worthy of it, could deal with it.
Golden eyes widened and his mouth tightened at the corners as his ears twitched. Those adorable ears she loved so much...she read his scent, and again was torn even as her human heart went out to him. Danger or mate? His nervousness put her hackles up, he’d bested her and by doing so should no longer consider her a threat. So there should be no fearful tang.


There was a reason hanyou rarely found mates, even to a prospect willing to overlook either the human or youkai taint. Normal youkai-didn’t have the interest in puzzling out the difference caused by a human’s less controlled emotions, and humans couldn’t understand the youkai aspects of their behavior and it drove them away. It wasn’t any easier on the hanyou themselves, especially when both sides were conflicted. Such as now.
“Because-” She looked hopeful and he frowned, making her face fall. “I need you to be with me. You know that,” he answered.

“I don’t know that.” Kagome replied.

“Kagome... I-you-” Damn it! He wasn’t any good with words, and she knew it!

“Here is the problem, Lord Inuyasha. I’ll lay it out for you, and perhaps you could advise me,” she began, and he nearly backed away in shock at the distant expression on her face, the serene tone, the ice in her eyes. Kagome didn’t know it, but at the moment she looked a lot like Sesshomaru.

“I have a suitor with a force claim that my Lord commanded I consider. One who, on the surface, seems perfect. Good bloodlines, strong, well established, certainly able to protect me and any offspring and provide for me. A hanyou like myself, who has no problem with my human blood. I even know him, and that’s unusual in these times for a female of rank, at least among humans. Or, at least I thought I did. But you see-he tried to sleep with me without telling me it was a proposal. Then he spit on me the last time we were alone, after I agreed to marry him, offering insult and rejecting me because I did something that didn’t please him. Then, he ran off like a coward and came back to press a claim he never would’ve had to make if he hadn’t left me, and he did his best to humiliate and kill me and turned my best friends against me doing it. So, what to do?” she finished.

“That isn’t fair...my Lady,” was the harshly controlled reply. Inuyasha realized-this was Lady Kagome he was speaking with...not his wench.
How the hell had she changed like this? Gone-fucking youkai! No stripes maybe...but youkai thinking! What the hell had that fucking bastard brother of his done to her? Commanded her to consider. Like he was a problem to fix.


Like, she didn’t want to. Maybe...she didn’t? No! His own youkai was telling him to back off from the confusing female, or to dominate her, she should be submissive after he‘d bested her, not challenging him in this way. But his humanity kept insisting that she would never want him to back away because she loved him and had been hurt when he left. There was quite the pair of internal arguments going on, and the resulting mixed signals were putting their teeth on edge.
“No, it’s not. Neither is doing this to me-then or now, but I didn’t see it stop you. It‘s true, and I’d like an answer please,” the edge to her voice made him wince.

“I didn’t have a choice. I had to get you back,” he said, looking away as he held the Tetsusaiga more tightly in his hand.

That earned him a puzzled frown.

“Why? You had me, Lord Inuyasha. I don‘t even know you, and you have no idea who I am now. You need. You had to. That’s all you can say? Did you even care about how I might feel about this? That-I may not want you back? I may love you, but I don’t know you anymore, and I’m not sure I like you much. I have a different Inu to look after these days, and he needs me too. I need him just as much, and I won’t leave him. Do you really think you could handle that, or being his packmate, my Lord?”

When Kagome saw the lost look on his face, she closed her eyes and her ears and shoulders drooped. She rose and went back inside. Why couldn’t he just once talk to her? Ask her if she’d take him back? Something? Wishing she could practice her weaponswork, something she’d found was an excellent outlet over the winter, Kagome scowled. Because she was forbidden to fight, or practice fighting. He was responsible for her safety until the courting was complete. If she drew her bow or so much as used her flameclaw-the penalties for rejection after beginning the ritual would be owed. Sango and Miroku didn’t deserve that, and neither did he. She should never have accepted his gifts...now it was much more complicated.

So instead, she grabbed a slim paperback and a deck of cards from her pack, and knelt in the main room of the cavern lair out of the hot sun. Kagome opened ‘101 ways to play solitaire’, and flipped to number one. He hated her card playing! But she was bored, upset, and needed something to do. Why he hated it, she was never sure...it had always livened up nights when everyone else joined in. Probably thought it was a waste of time. Inuyasha came back in, and one of her ears twitched. She’d expected him to sulk for the day in his darned trees.

“You-brought your games, my lady?” he asked with a suppressed growl. Her damned baka games...now she was playing new ones, and with more than cards. Just like his half brother.
Offer at least, Kagome decided. He’d tried last night, and she knew it...so it was her turn. There was always such a gap between them, though, there always had been.

“I did,” she shuffled, and sighed. “I don’t suppose you’d like to play a game at least?” He always said no, she knew it. And she had been mean just now. Honest, but mean. A pause, and a-nod?
At least she was willing to let him near her. No choice, he’d play her games. Both of them.

“Sure,” he sat across from her. Kagome looked suspicious a moment, but smiled and nodded back. What was he playing at? It wasn’t like him to not lose his temper at her for pulling away, much less be civil after she‘d said harsh things.
Four hours or so later...
“You baka! You’ve known how to play all this time!”

“I watched you often enough-my Lady,” Inuyasha said as he won. Again. He shuffled the cards carefully, and looked at her with a victorious grin while she scowled. “Was I supposed to let you win? Doesn’t seem fair,” he commented.

“No,” she groused, eyeing him. “You could’ve played once in awhile.”

“Eh, didn’t want to. Somebody had to keep watch. uh, Lady,” he said with a shrug.

“Tell me another one. With our senses, it’s not rocket science, I’ve been working out with my CD player on and smelled trouble coming.”

“Working out what?” he asked with a frown.

“You know, training. Well?” she pressed.

“Uh...I just didn’t,” Inuyasha replied uncomfortably, looking away. He may have traveled with humans, been friends with them...but he wasn’t used to socializing. Watching them play had brought back bad memories of times he’d tried to be around people, and it hadn’t been good. Better, safer, not to test it. Or test her mood right now. Neither of them brought up what had been said outside.

“I wouldn’t have asked you all those times if I didn’t want your company, you know. And they’re your friends too,” Kagome said quietly, catching a tiny shift in scent she’d have missed as a human, as a slight, rueful smile crossed her face. Had he always been so-shy, even about something as simple as a card game with his friends?


Hard to believe really, he’d seemed so blustery and arrogantly sure of himself. But-now she was a hanyou too. It wasn’t easy to be one...maybe...she fingered the beads around her neck. He’d even put up with the beads. Not that he hadn’t earned them. But, he could’ve left or not followed her home all those times. Kagome was very confused. On one hand, he was a jerk. On the other, maybe he’d had reasons to be. Maybe she’d been one too, she‘d been so hard on him at times.
“Eh...let’s play, Lady Kagome,” he said gruffly when he thought he saw more damn questions were lurking. She noted the speed and accuracy he carelessly displayed as he dealt, each card landing precisely next to the other. Anything with his hands, anything physical, and Inuyasha was incredibly talented. Give him an enemy to fight or someone to save, any emergency, and he was amazing. It was anything else that was the trouble...

“I really don’t know you at all, Inuyasha,” Kagome said aloud, and Inuyasha looked down in confusion.
“Huh? Yes you do...Lady.” She’d said it again! What the hell did she mean?

“No, I don’t,” Kagome laid her cards down and folded her hands in her lap.

“I didn’t know you had a home, I didn’t know you could cook more than fish on a stick, or had table manners, or could play cards, and-” Kagome glanced around, “I didn’t know you had such good taste in stolen items! I mean, the kimonos, these tapestries, that’s what I’d expect from Miroku! Did he exorcize some innocent castle for them as a favor? I’ll have to tell him how lovely they are, it was thoughtful of him to do it,” she laughed lightly, shaking her head at how silly it all was, the mess they’d made of it all, as he looked up.
The giggles died in her throat.
Inuyasha’s eyes blazed and he radiated raw fury. Both halves of his nature were in complete agreement at the moment. His little hobby wasn’t something he liked people to know, but-that damned well tore it! Ungrateful, proud little bitch! How dare she! He’d gone through all this crap for her and she just kept fucking poking and prodding and insulting him! Oh, no, baka Inuyasha couldn’t do anything besides kill youkai! Couldn’t measure up!


Kagome hadn’t realized how deeply her words had cut, she had a Clan and a pack, but he hadn’t. Ever. A lifetime of standing on the outside looking in, until she’d come into his life...and now his own chosen mate dared say he was a coward, then laughed at him!
“I made those hangings, thanks! Lady...Kagome,” Inuyasha gritted between his teeth, inwardly he was mortified by the angry admission, livid, temper in check by a hair as she stared at him, open mouthed.
“Uh...” Kagome groped for a reply as he blinked, frowning as she looked like someone had hit her over the head. Saw things in her eyes he’d never expected. Respect. Shock. Genuine alarm and complete confusion.


Because for the first time in all the years she’d known him, she really looked at him. Looked at him without being blinded by her own preconceptions, based on a peacefully sleeping boy pinned to a tree who’s ears she’d tweaked. What she saw scared the hell out of her. Inuyasha was a killer, a skilled, sly, powerful, frightening one. A hanyou who’d actually survived to adulthood as an outcast. One strong enough to actually hold a territory, without the assistance of a pack.


How had he not killed her years ago for daring to cross him all those times? How the heck had she ever viewed him as a silly, grumpy baka? He was...he’d been...she found herself having a whole new outlook of the last three years as she stared, using the youkai standards of thinking that had disgusted him earlier. Not that she knew that. Nor could he know what that training and education was telling Kagome now.

He stayed with her. Was highly protective. Tended to her devotedly even as he’d pushed her away. Did as she asked, even if he didn’t agree with her. To her, he was completely harmless, and she knew it. He’d permitted her absences like he was making a great concession, and always came for her when he couldn’t handle the separation anymore. Because she was what he personally protected. Inu needed to guard, and she’d-accepted him as her protector. He belonged to her, and she belonged to him.


But not quite. The protective instinct wasn’t that possessive, he barely let her out of his sight. That jealousy...he never permitted her around guys. He doted on her family, Sango and Miroku, Shippo...watched over them all and always was gruff, but cared for them. But not quite what the relationships ought to have been if he looked at them as friends only. His focus ought to have been solely on her if he was just guarding her as Inu needed to do, and friends weren’t treated like a cross between family and underlings. Oh. No. No!
He’d been behaving as though they were his pack. All of them. Like she was-his intended mate and lead female. It made the most terrible sense, and she wondered if the others had known. As for their er...pack leader...Kagome doubted Inuyasha even knew he was doing it or why. He’d had to have been acting on pure instinct, he’d never been around other Inu, and she knew his mother had died when he was little.


Then he’d been alone, and likely hadn’t been familiar enough with humans to really understand them or know how to deal with them. There was no way to packbond with a mortal, but they were the closest he’d ever had to a pack. Family. Because of her. She’d been the first to accept him, and her presence had permitted Sango, Miroku, and her family to do so as well. He’d been utterly devoted to all of them, to his pack. To her.
Kagome didn’t know it...but that Inu youkai devotion was what had allowed Midoriko to save her. Why she was hanyou. Because Inuyasha’s youkai had allowed the dead priestess to work through him-transmuting Kagome with her own now vanished spiritual powers and the power of the jewel to strengthen youkai, for her. That he had, in fact, become a full youkai for an instant, and half of its strength had been given to her in an engineered possession to save her life. To save his beloved chosen mate that his human side had never permitted him to claim or court. Youkai did mad things for mates.


Like literally give up a part of themselves to save lives dearer to them than their own.


Inuyasha could not admit it then, he was too frightened to, but he couldn’t ever lose her-once he’d realized he was in love with her nearly four years ago. Realized she truly did accept him as a hanyou. So in desperation, he’d channeled his feelings entirely to her safety and stayed by her side. Then he’d been rewarded with the privilege of leading an odd pack of his very own for it. His youkai had a pack, and his human side had a beloved and friends, making both sides happy. But they didn’t act like a pack, there was no packbond to reassure him and it had confused his youkai instincts, made him nervous and kept him at a distance, even though he was deeply devoted to them.


That devotion had also driven him to become suicidal when she’d turned on him and bonded to Sesshomaru. That night...he’d lost both mate and pack as far as his youkai was concerned. She’d driven him off and chosen a new pack leader. The wonder was he hadn’t gone insane with grief and loss, or killed her when he saw the mark pendant. Kagome had no idea how close it had been, or what he had truly done for her with his wish. That Miroku had saved his life by showing up, and letting the hanyou have at least one packmate loyal enough to follow him into exile.
Inuyasha understood none of this, it had all been unconscious. He only knew he needed her. That she made him stronger. That he was useless without her, and that he needed his odd friends. That he loved her and had to have her safe and with him, no matter what.


Kagome realized that by human standards, he’d wronged her by leaving...but by youkai...she’d been the one who hurt him first. Turned on him.
Inuyasha started to worry as the silence grew, anger fading.

“Kagome?” he asked, peering at her.

“Oh...Inuyasha,” she whispered, and to his shock, there were tears in her eyes.
Inuyasha stared at her, not knowing why she was crying, upset and frustrated. He hated it when she cried! They both jumped as a distant series of crashes could be heard, and a faint, unpleasant scent wafted about on the breeze let in by the barrier. Something had just come near it, and was now moving off, trees splintering as it plowed through them.

“Stay in here,” Inuyasha tossed his cards down and rose to check to see what suicidal youkai had just wandered into the heart of his territory with a scowl. But Kagome’s eyes widened. She knew that smell.Dokueki.To be continued...

Revised Author’s notes-Well. Here we are! Chapter 21 already! This was a complex part to write, really, it had to be split because it was so long. I did revise this one a bit, fixed some spelling things, and fixed some poor sentence structure. I’m not entirely pleased with the long exposition between dialogue sections in the second half, but I chose to leave it as is. I wouldn’t have done it that way now, and it makes me wince a little. This was my first story, so I think it’s a nice thing to leave it pretty much as it was. Comments and critiques are welcome as always. I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for Reading!- Namiyo’