InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ When The Lines Blur ❯ Hurting ( Chapter 2 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter 2 -Hurting

Inuyasha thinks that there is no such thing as Forgiveness.

He thinks of this when he lies across his brother's lap with his hakama down to his ankles and ass in the air, waiting for his punishment. His elder never spanks him immediately. Before that, he has to wait…and anticipate…and remember. Sesshoumaru will make the skin on his ass skin tingle with feather light touches, till every pore on his body is extra sensitive to any kind of stimulus. And then, just when he is relaxed, when his guard is down, the first blow falls.

The first blow, Inuyasha knows, never really hurts. Even though it lands on over-sensitive skin, the first strike merely gives him a thrilling sensation, a good feeling. But then the next one comes and the next and the next…till his bottom is red and aching and he is struggling to get away but his brother holds him down effortlessly.

And that is another thing. Sesshoumaru never tells him to stop struggling when he is being punished like this. Even though he knows he deserves this, that does not stop him from begging his brother to stop, to let him go just this once and he will never do it again. And when he says this, he means it; he honestly wants the pain to just go away, doesn't his brother understand that he has learnt his lesson and if he could only give him a chance, he will prove that he will really never make that mistake again?

Fortunately, his elder brother understands him better…better than he understands himself, sometimes. Sesshoumaru never pays heed to his begging, never lets him off when he needs this punishment. His mokomoko holds the struggling hanyou in place as if he were nothing more than a child; certainly not a half-demon with strength enough to toss a boulder a hundred feet.

Sesshoumaru also does not believe in forgiveness. He knows that all deeds, good and bad, have their punishment because people don't really like to be forgiven. It is not an act of charity and goodwill. For the person being forgiven, it is a lifelong burden to bear.

Forgiveness, Inuyasha knows, does not negate the crime. For the person at fault, there is no way to undo what he has done and so, he suffers. The extent of the suffering depends on whether he knows he is being punished.

Inuyasha has done a lot of bad things and he knows that he should be punished for them. He has hurt the people he loved, he has been a burden on many, he has failed to protect those he swore to. Inuyasha's sins built up over the years, since the day he learned that his father died for him. No, not died for him. That is what his mother told him, that Inu no Taisho died protecting them both because he loved them so much but he knows that this is a lie. He knows because other demon children told him that his father died because of him, because he and his mother made him weak but at that time, there was no Sesshoumaru to give him his punishment, so he punished himself. Punishment is much harsher when it is not physical.

Sesshoumaru watched this from afar, never interfering, because at that time he hated his brother. So he watched him create his own hell, watched him slowly destroy himself. The little hanyou with big vulnerable eyes grew up into a strong half-demon with hard, bitter eyes. The hardness in his eyes is the victory. The bitterness is the punishment.

Sesshoumaru hated the child for years because it is not in his nature to forgive. Besides, the one who was really to blame is now dead and all that is left is this mistake. His little brother. Half-brother. He feels no pity, no compassion. Let him grow up with his corroding poison. It is not his responsibility to save him. Inu no Taisho made him promise not to kill the child and that is what he is doing. The poison of unknown, formless guilt will not kill him. It will merely break him.

Izayoi, though she loved her child, could not understand that she was destroying her son because humans know nothing about such things. Humans believe in the lie of forgiveness. So Inuyasha grew up with the same lie -of mercy and compassion and forgiveness. He learned to help strangers on the way even when they shunned and feared him afterwards. He learned to not hit back when he was hurt. He learned to hate himself instead of the world because his mother taught him that it is wrong to hurt other people; honorable people don't do that and Inuyasha is honorable, is he not?

But no one said anything about hurting himself and the anger and resentment had to go somewhere so they went inwards. Until he met Sesshoumaru, his perfect elder brother, who taught him the lessons of demons and vengeance and rage. But it was too late by then; the humans' poison had gone too deep to be entirely removed, so now he balances between the worlds like the outcast that he is, doing the things he does not want to do - helping humans, being kind instead of strong, being weak instead of hard, allowing himself to be sat by a human child instead of killing her for the affront- and then running to his brother for being punished for them. Now, he trusts his brother to hurt him when he needs to be hurt.

Of course, the half demon does not always come to him to tell him that he needs it, that he has screwed up, but Sesshoumaru can read him like an open book. He will force his otouto when he needs to be forced.

"Why are you being punished, Inuyasha?" the elder brother always asks him and the answers are different. Sometimes, he tells him the reason. Sometimes, when he really does not know, he tells him that and his brother makes it a point to tell him. Of course, his words hurt as much as the blows on his bottom but that is also a delicious kind of pain. Sometimes, when he is being a brat, he says 'I don't know' even when he does, and then his brother punishes him for that as well.

Today, it has been around half an hour now, and still the blows fall.

"Please stop, oni-sama!" he begs. "I can't…I can't take it anymore."

"You will take it," his brother replies in his deep, velvety voice that makes the little hanyou shiver.

And it continues, each smack echoing in the dark, moonlight room. The night is cool and peaceful and his brother's chambers are very beautiful. Inuyasha does not know why his brother always spanks him here, in this position where the balcony door is open and Inuyasha can see the moon surrounded by her veils of clouds. Sesshoumaru's hand is heavy, he does not let his brother off lightly. Sesshoumaru never spanks him with a paddle, always with his hand because, he says, his hand is more effective than any flimsy wooden paddle. But that is only part of the reason and Sesshoumaru does not tell him that he likes to see his handprint on the cute little ass, likes to feel the skin shiver and become raw under his blows.

Inuyasha cannot withhold his moans when his brother's hand falls near his crack. He is so much more sensitive there and his ass muscles clench in emptiness. They want to be filled and Sesshoumaru's hand is so deliciously close.

After a while, each blow is like an electric current up his spine and that is not a pleasant feeling. When it goes on for long enough, pain feels like it will last forever and there is no escape. Although Inuyasha has been through this many times before, he can't help feeling that this will never end. And just when he is about to accept the pain, Sesshoumaru stops. His brother knows that pain loses its effectiveness when the victim accepts it. All torturers know this.

Inuyasha is panting when his brother stops and his dick his hard. Yes, Inuyasha hardens due to pain but only when it's his brother who deals it out. When his punishment is over, mokomoko releases him and he is free to move but he does not do so immediately because it is painful. In order to get up, he has to turn over and then his ass would come into contact with his brother's lap and that is very painful.

So he remains there for a few seconds till his brother allows it. Then he gets up, slowly, laboriously and drops to the floor between his brother's legs. Sesshoumaru looks down at him with his inscrutable eyes but they are dark with pleasure. Sesshoumaru has a sadistic side and he is already hard.

Inuyasha releases his brother's cock from the prison of his clothes and kisses the tip. Sesshoumaru is motionless as Inuyasha takes it in his mouth and sucks and licks, the way he knows the demon Lord likes it. This is his worship because Sesshoumaru is his God. A half-breed has no god, neither human, nor demon. A hanyou has no right to pray because gods do not like half-breed bastards. But Inuyasha is lucky that he has his brother and Sesshoumaru allows him break.

And isn't that why we need gods? So that, for a few moments, we can allow ourselves to break. So that we can kneel in front of them, give ourselves to them, trust our lives to them. When God punishes us, we accept the punishment with gratitude. When God rewards us, we praise and laud him for his generosity with gifts and songs.

But Sesshoumaru is not that kind of a god. Inuyasha never flatters or praises his brother. Sesshoumaru does not like false words. He is not moved by oily groveling. Sesshoumaru has many worshippers but none as privileged as Inuyasha for they worship him from afar. Sesshoumaru's servant Jaken, who has pledged his life to him, is allowed to follow his master in his journey but Inuyasha is the only one who is allowed to worship in this way.

Sesshoumaru permits his brother to pleasure him for some time and then he takes control. His hand is in his little brother's hair, pushing and pulling his mouth as he desires. Inuyasha then becomes completely passive and revels in his brother's use of his mouth. He merely concentrates on the feeling of kneeling before his God, on the illicit thrill of surrender, on the hard shaft stabbing his mouth and throat mercilessly. When Sesshoumaru chokes him with his cock, Inuyasha does not protest. He cannot help struggling because he can't breathe but it is not a real complaint. . Inuyasha likes being used by his brother. It makes him feel…worthy. When Sesshoumaru cums deep inside his throat, Inuyasha swallows without hesitation. It is not something that Sesshoumaru demands; it is a privilege that Inuyasha is grateful for.

Punishment, Inuyasha knows, can take many forms, and spanking is perhaps the lightest of them. Once upon a time, he would have been dissatisfied. He deserved worse, didn't he? But his brother has taught him many lessons; that Inuyasha has a Master now and that his punishment is no longer his to determine, that there his elder brother does not let him off out of pity and that Inuyasha will always get what he deserves. Whether the hanyou himself believes that he deserves it or not is inconsequential.

But like all Gods, Sesshoumaru is fickle and sometimes, he will punish the hanyou simply because he feels like it, because he wants to hear his pained, pleading cries that are music to his ears when he is in a dark mood.

Before Inuyasha, the demon Lord did other things when he was feeling sadistic - he had many victims and few survived his games but since he claimed his brother, he no longer desires anyone else. Only his brother's whimpers and supplication will suffice.

The daiyoukai has no compunction with hurting for pleasure; he has never been taught to hurt himself because a daiyoukai's life is always more important than everyone else's. For demons, the strongest survive and the weak either submit or perish. Others are there for his pleasure, to serve him in any way he desires, because in return, he allows them to exist.

So he punishes his brother to see his own bloody marks on the otherwise flawless body, to feel the hanyou's ass burn and tear when he forces his cock in without preparation or lubrication, to watch him limp or crawl for days afterwards depending on how much he wished to damage him, to see his soul weep when he tears at him with his words.

Inuyasha must take what he gives. He has no choice in the matter. But each time, when his punishment is done and the daiyoukai orders him to leave, Inuyasha does something he certainly doesn't have to. He gets to his feet, retrieves his clothes, gets dressed, and before leaving, bows to his elder brother and whispers quietly:

"Thank you."

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A/N: Feedback appreciated.