InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ When the Rain Falls ❯ Chapter 4

He hadn't called since he “snuck” out of her apartment several days ago, but she really needed to get in touch with him. She knew he lived somewhere up in the mountains, but where exactly, she had no clue. And despite the fact that she needed to see him for several reasons, she wasn't about to take an expedition up there without some sort of guide. But she really, really needed to get in touch with him, because she knew that despite everything, he needed closure. Sesshomaru had really done a number on him when she had first met him, but he had made so much progress since then. And Sesshomaru's death she was sure was an absolute shock to him, considering how much he looked up to his half-brother as an indomitable force. “You have such an open heart Inu.”

 

 

And she was right, he did have an “open heart” because despite everything she had done to him, he had returned. Even though it was only for a little while, he came back, and he made her feel so good, as he always had. But she knew he would never love her again, for he told her so before he walked out the first time. Either way she wanted to help him. Wanted to let him know that he wasn't alone, and that he had others he could mourn with.

 

 

If not her, then the Higurashi family who had reached out to her for any information on InuYasha's whereabouts but a few minutes before. Hers was his last listed address, but he had made it quite clear that it would never be his home again. But while she didn't know where he laid his head at night, she did know where he worked. And despite the fact that he wouldn't think of returning the messages she left at his office, she knew that the Sota kid who had called would probably be able to get in touch with him if he left a message at his office. Well, at least she hoped he would, because it was important for InuYasha to go to the funeral. Her ex-lover deserved closure if nothing else, and if she knew him as well as she thought she did, Sesshomaru was the key to his peace. “I hope you can reach him Sota, he's going to need all you more than he knows.”

 

 

He had finally reached him…well not him per se, but his secretary or personal assistant, or whoever answered the phones. Regardless of the title, he had found someone who knew the elusive InuYasha Taishou, (who would have figured that he had in fact taken his father's name), and left all the information about the funeral that was only a day a way with her. She had said that she expected him in the office at some point that day, so he hoped he would get the message and show up tomorrow, because for some odd reason he had a feeling his sister needed InuYasha there, even if she didn't want him there.

 

 

Having collected all of his messages after coming back from a site, InuYasha sat in his truck to read. Most were estimate or visit requests, but one came from a familiar but unexpected name. “So she had her brother invite me to the funeral? I guess that's better than nothing, since I'm not “family” I didn't think I would get an invite at all. Either way they'll probably make me sit in the back with the other “acquaintances,” especially if her mother is making the seating chart. Banging his hand against the dash board, the frustrated man growled, “This is bullshit, I shouldn't even go.” InuYasha knew deep inside that he needed to go, not for the Higurashis but for himself. The bad blood between him and half-brother really amounted up to nothing now that Sess was gone forever. What was the point of continuing to hate a person that couldn't hate or love you back? Shifting in his seat, InuYasha made his decision and put his truck in gear so that he could head off to the tailor to make sure his suit still fit.

 

 

So he was a wee bit late, did that mean that the whole ceremony had to stop so that everyone could turn towards the door and sneer at him? It wasn't his fault that it decided to start raining halfway down the mountain and he had to return home to change his shirt and to switch rides. He didn't control the weather or the old bats that forgot how to use the gas properly when the skies turned a little grey. All he could do was drive and get there as soon as he could, which just so happened to be a half hour after the service had started…Woops.

 

 

He could feel the glares, most of them coming from the people up front including Sesshomaru's maternal relations, co-workers, lackeys, and of course the Higurashis. Even though it looked like he might be able to squeeze into a spot up front, he decided against antagonizing the peanut gallery and opted for a more out of the way space closer to the door. The entire crowd followed his every move as he took a seat, and as soon as his butt hit the bench, the ceremony continued.

 

 

By the end of the first few speeches, it became pretty clear that Sesshomaru was a saint to everyone except him. Everyone who spoke had nothing but grand things to say about his character, legal talents, community service, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…and you guessed it, more blah. Good thing he wasn't written on the program because even though he intended to use this day to make peace with his brother, all of the sap he had been forced fed had made him want to paint another more inclusive picture of who Sesshomaru the great actually was. He almost volunteered to stand when the door suddenly flew open and another late comer stepped in.

 

 

Even though he hadn't intended to become a part of the mass scrutiny because of his own experience in the limelight earlier, he couldn't avoid it when he saw who it was. When he arrived, he assumed that she was up front with the rest of the “family” but alas, here she was later than he was for her own fiancée's funeral.

 

 

The weather man said clear skies for today all week, but when she woke up that morning, she knew that she wouldn't accept anything other than rain. The rain was hers and she depended on it to wash away all that soiled her soul—to put out the fire that burned her heart. She didn't deserve any of it; the love, the support, the comfort, Sesshomaru, for she had spent the entire night before his funeral dreaming of his brother, his caress, his name off of her lips, his love.

 

 

She had hoped that it was just her treacherous body that yearned for him, but she now knew that it was her soul that called his for companionship, that it was her heart that called to his for warmth, that…

 

 

She told Sota that she couldn't do it anymore, the façade was breaking and that she could no longer play the role of proud fiancée, and he told her to stay behind. But something whispered into her ear that she needed to be there, not because of him, but for him…for the man whose eyes she caught as soon as the light from outside trickled in the door. The shy shine of the sun ignited his beautiful orbs so that she could see that she wasn't the only one affected, the only one hurting, the only that was alone.

 

 

She wanted to run to him, to feel his arms around her and she made to until two thin arms wrapped around her and halted her movements. Loud wails that could only belong to her mother caused her to forget all of her senses, as she was mechanically lead up front with the rest of her family. Turning her head to the side briefly, she hoped to catch a glimpse of his face once more but all she saw was his back as he walked out on her for the second time.

 

 

The ceremony was a blur after the fiasco of her entrance. She was sure that her mother said something that was supposed to be meaningful, and that Jaken might have mentioned something or another that was intended to be inspiring, but nothing seemed to matter. “Why did he leave? Was it because of what I said before? Did he come only because he thought I wouldn't be here…”

 

 

Watching him go had been harder than she ever thought possible, and she didn't understand why. She had only known him for a few hours really, but that time was some of the most sacred in her life. “What did you do to me InuYasha Taishou?”

 

 

Feeling a slight tug on her shoulder, Kagome was lead to the casket for the final viewing. Had she missed the entire ceremony? With her mother in front and her brother behind her, she relied on them for support as she tried to collect her thoughts. This was the end of the road for her and Sesshomaru, and he deserved her undivided attention. As soon as his casket was closed, he would rest in peace forever, and she would remain here to deal with the hell she created for herself when she made love to his brother. But for now, she had to focus on him, their past, and their love.

 

 

This idea of “love” was what was really taunting her. How could she make love to a man she did not know and then still speak of loving her fiancée? It didn't make sense and the pain of it all tore her up inside. She hoped that Sesshomaru would forgive her, but she didn't think she could ever forgive herself. What was done was done, but the punishment had just begun.

 

 

Lost in her own thoughts, Kagome was unaware of all of the mourners bidding their last goodbyes to their fallen loved one. For if she had been more observant, she probably would have noticed the petite ruby eyed woman with the loose bun inconspicuously slip a small folded piece of paper into the coffin next to her fiancée's heart as she said a silent prayer for his soul. Invisible to most, the woman was able to slip out silently without a backward glance after her deed was completed, her deepest secrets set to buried forever.

 

 

The rest of the ceremony and subsequent burial went on without a hitch, but all of it was lost on Kagome. The ride to the cemetery and back to the shrine seemed like one big blob of time and her thoughts would not move from her betrayal. Brave members of her family tried to reach out to her, but none of them got anywhere since there was no room in Kagome's mind except for him. She could feel him everywhere although, she was certain that he had in fact left, and although she hoped that he would return to the shrine with the rest of the close friends and family, she knew that her wishes were futile.

 

 

Stepping out of the car, Kagome followed her family and guests up the long shrine steps with the intention of heading straight for her room when a hesitant hand tapped her shoulder. Turning around, Kagome came face to face with a woman she didn't believe she had ever seen before. Furrowing her eyes in confusion, Kagome looked at the older woman expectantly prompting her to introduce herself.

 

 

Shyly the woman spoke, “You don't know me Higurashi-san, but my name is Ayame Himura, and I am Sesshomaru's brother InuYasha's girlfriend. I just wanted to give you my condolences on both of our behalves…”

 

 

Kagome was positive that the woman truly intended for her words to be comforting, but the mention of the words “InuYasha” and “Girlfriend” in the same sentence had her reeling. She watched this “Ayame” continue to move her lips in conversation, but nothing else seemed to process. InuYasha, her InuYasha, the man she lost her virginity to had a girlfriend who was presently offering her sentiments for her loss. Was this some kind of sick joke, because none of it made sense. She didn't remember seeing this woman who looked to be pushing forty next to InuYasha at the funeral. If they were coupled up, why weren't they sitting together, why didn't she leave with him, why…”

 

 

Feeling herself being pulled into a hug, Kagome's thoughts stopped racing as shock and confusion flooded her mind. Feeling too tired and weak to deal with everything, she robotically smiled and thanked Ayame for her presence, bid her a pleasant goodbye and shuffled her way upstairs. There was just too much on her plate right now and if she didn't rest soon, she was sure she would have to be committed. Finally reaching her bed, Kagome slipped off her damp suit and collapsed on top of her unmade sheets. Falling into a coma-deep sleep, the only thought that stayed in her mind was, “Why?”

 

 

She was like an angel coming through the door, and he wasn't immune to the need he saw in her eyes. But he wasn't a fool and he knew that the odds of them having something were slim to none. He wanted to hold her and tell her that everything would be alright with whatever seemed wrong for her, but the funeral definitely wasn't the place. There probably wouldn't ever be a “place” in actuality, but the idea gave him hope that something could happen. Although he still wasn't even sure he wanted something with her. She had been pretty cruel to him when her mother had arrived and she made no effort to even reach out to him before her brother contacted him. If it wasn't for the intense longing in her eyes, he would have kept on believing that the whole thing was one sided. But now, he knew better.

 

 

“I should have stayed” he whispered to himself as his finger tips lightly tapped on the steering wheel. And he probably should have stayed, but the whole situation was too much for him to deal with. It might have been a hell of a lot easier if she had continued her bitchy front and treated him like last weeks leftovers as she had a week ago, but she didn't. Instead she looked at him like he was the only one in the room that mattered, like he was her lifeline. And that was difficult to swallow when he had spent all of the time in between trying to wean himself off of her and her memory.

 

 

Shaking his head, he watched as the grave digger threw the last pile of dirt on top of his brother's coffin, turned on the ignition and began to pull out of the cemetery to head back up the mountain to his home as a slow drizzle began to fall. Looking out the window as he set to turn away from his brother's final resting spot he breathed into the wind, “Goodbye Sesshomaru…”

 

 

A/n

 

I'm done for a while, there won't be another for a few days, but hopefully not weeks. I need to work on my other story, so read and let me know what you think.