InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ When We Awaken ❯ Chapter 4: Memories ( Chapter 4 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter Four: Memories

By the time Inuyasha had settled on his futon, he knew it would be a long night and sleep would easily evade him. Just the thought of Kagome sleeping in his own bed, down the hall, did something to his gut. Unfortunately, it also did something to other parts of his body that seemed to be thrilled that she was sleeping in his bed.

He tried his best to dismiss the torrid thoughts that were percolating in his brain about Kagome. He tried to ignore his own body. And most of all, he tried to ignore that bizarre, queasy feeling in his stomach. He did his best to dismiss the odd sensation as he tossed and turned in his futon for most of the night.

He felt like he was floating, perhaps he was dreaming. Inuyasha let one indolent violet eye open to look at his surroundings. He should have been confused or startled to see that he was sleeping on the ground in a mist. But somehow it just seemed familiar, as if he had been there before.

He heard a figure approaching, so he did his best to get onto his feet.

There was something familiar about the person. It was a man and he was wearing a scarlet red kimono. But the obscuring mist made it difficult to determine anything else.

Inuyasha squinted his eyes as the person moved forward. Once the man was removed from the fog, he came into sharp focus.

Inuyasha was looking at his hanyou self again. The man had long, silver hair, golden eyes and two puppy-like ears. He was wearing the objects that Kagome had given him, the robe of the firerat and the Tessaiga was belted to his side. For some reason he was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, while his doppelganger seemed dressed for ancient warfare.

There was something unnerving about looking at yourself. What made it even worse is that the man didn’t move like he did. This man had more fluid movements and had a wary look in his eyes bordering on distrust.

The other Inuyasha paused to look at his duplicate before smirking. “It’s about time! You finally have her and you’re not dying.”

The jean-clad Inuyasha only narrowed his eyes at the jest. “What do you want this time?”

The Inuyasha in the red robes only looked him in the eyes, searching for something. He must have found what he was seeking, for he nodded to himself and then spoke. “You need to remember.”

The black-haired Inuyasha snorted. “I haven’t forgotten anything…”

The ancient Inuyasha only stared at his modern counterpart. Then the floor underneath the modern teen started to dissipate. The mists darkened and he was surrounded by night.

It took a few moments for Inuyasha to gather his senses again. The grey mists faded into a large forest. He was high in a tree and when he examined his own hands, he saw claws and his hair had reverted back to its natural silver color. More importantly, he was garbed in the robe of the firerat, though he noticed that he had no sword by his side.

He moved through the trees, the only sound of his passage was the gentle rustle of leaves. He let his body guide him; he knew where he was going.

For many years he had suffered as a hanyou. He was neither human nor demon and was ostracized by both. He had heard tales of a magical jewel, one that granted wishes, one that called to both human and demon alike. One that could make him whole... A sacred jewel that could make him a full demon... It could finally grant him everything he wished: power, acceptance and respect.

He knew that a human protected the jewel, but he only scoffed at the idea. There was no way that a mere human could keep him away from something he really desired. His eyes gleamed in the moonlight and a sneer drew itself across his thin lips. The human would never even know who took it.

Inuyasha was quite sure that a spiritualist was protecting the magical Shikon jewel, so he took to observing the village before he attempted to steal the item.

The small village on a mountainside was fairly commonplace. It housed a large Shinto shrine, had many small huts and was surrounded by rice fields. It didn’t take long for him to find his target.

He was surprised to find that it was a girl protecting the jewel. Her uniform of a white haori with billowing sleeves and red hakama labeled her as a miko. Around her neck was the object he was seeking. He instinctively leaned forward when he spotted the object. It was a strange pearl-like object that glowed in successive colors of white, pink and purple. It pulsed as if it were alive.

Inuyasha snorted to himself. It could very well be alive, it was said to house ‘four souls’ within its depths. The jewel might even be sentient. Like any other demon in the vicinity, he felt its call. Being a hanyou, the draw was not quite as strong, but he still heard its plaintive whispers in the wind, promising him his heart’s desire if he would only take the jewel and make a wish upon it.

“Kagome-sama!”

Inuyasha was quickly taken out of his reverie and his contemplation of the jewel when a young boy appeared next to the miko. The boy must have just started puberty; perhaps he was twelve or thirteen years of age. The young man was dressed as a Shinto priest in training, wearing the ceremonial robes of a kannushi.

The boy with almond eyes and long black hair looked up at the miko fondly. It was only then that Inuyasha took the time to actually notice the miko’s features. The girl smiled down at the younger boy, with a look of detached bemusement.

The hanyou found himself entranced with her. She was a lovely beauty; perhaps she was eighteen years of age. Her hair was long and ebony. However, unlike the rigidly straight hair of most Japanese women, her hair had gentle, loose waves that were drawn into a traditional miko ponytail behind her back, festooned with white ribbons. However, it was her eyes that drew him in the most. They were grey-blue, which was astounding in a land of brown eyes. Perhaps the girl had some foreign blood in her, perhaps from the Portuguese that had recently landed on their shores? She looked almost as exotic as he was.

He found that he started to follow her. He told himself that it was only to learn her habits and to find a weakness. He ignored the driving desire he felt to just watch her.

He soon learned that the miko and the boy were both orphans. Kagome had been left at the Shrine’s steps when she was a babe. It was rumored in the village that she was the product of rape or perhaps a child of a prostitute. It was noted by the villagers that her strange looks could only be the product of a union between a foreigner and a Japanese woman. As such, the striking beauty was an untouchable. It didn’t matter that she was gorgeous; no man in the village would have her. The villagers had whispered that she was lucky to have been raised at a neighboring shrine as a miko, rather than suffer the normal fate of being drowned as a newborn.

Even if she was not a woman that was considered marriageable, she had already won over the hearts of most of the village with her healing and spiritual abilities. She was the first person the villagers came to when someone was hurt or sick. She was also their front-line if there was ever a demonic attack.

The young kannushi was training under her and she was his tutor. Inuyasha watched from afar as he saw the girl patiently show the lad how to heal the sick or how to fire a spiritual arrow. The boy didn’t seem to have her latent talents, but she was patient and never chastised him for his lack of skill.

One thing Inuyasha did notice was the young boy looking at Kagome with a longing that no one else in the village dared to look at her with. Perhaps the lad was too young to know that he shouldn’t be attracted to the girl or perhaps his own lack of heritage marked him as an outcast like the miko.

For some reason the hanyou was relieved to see the miko treating the young boy’s affections with polite dismissal. Either she did not see herself as worthy of affection or thought the boy was too young to know any better. He could see the growing frustration in the young boy however, and the kannushi’s intense desire to please his older tutor.

After watching for a fortnight and listening to the whispered rumors that surrounded the village, Inuyasha decided to act. He had been there too long wasting time. He had come for the jewel and he was damned sure that he could steal it from the girl; she was only a human. He only needed to isolate the girl and then he could strike.

He waited until he saw the miko with an empty basket in her hands. He knew enough about her to know that she often visited the nearby forest to gather herbs.

Inuyasha followed her stealthily in the trees. He was as silent as the wind. He was quite sure that she would never know who stole the jewel from her. The hanyou already had it all mapped out. He would simply swipe his claws at her necklace, grab the jewel and then flee into the trees. She would be relieved of her burden and he could finally have his wish to be made whole.

He ignored the nagging feeling inside of him that told him that it was wrong to steal from the girl. It felt dishonorable. But the jewel called to him, whispering promises of power and acceptance.

He waited until her back was turned to him. She was gathering herbs in the field, crouching down. He leapt down from the tree in which he had been hiding; his quick hanyou reflexes carried him across the grass, toward his unknowing opponent. He almost felt guilty for what he was about to do…

That was until the girl twisted to face him, her bow drawn. Before he could even breathe, two arrows flew in quick succession, pinning him to a tree.

His face must have showed his immense shock at being stopped by a mere waif.

Kagome stood up, shouldered her bow and her basket. Then for the first time she addressed him.

“I had been wondering when you would make yourself known. So it was you who has been watching my village these past weeks.”

His eyes only widened in disbelief, he nearly sputtered a response, but she cut him off.

“Don’t make me waste more arrows on you, hanyou.”

Then she turned her back to him, finished gathering some herbs and walked away as if he had never been there. He didn’t know what to make of her. She had actually known he was there all along? Perhaps her spiritual abilities also allowed her to sense the auras of demons? How else could she have known?

Inuyasha then tried to extricate himself from the tree he was attached to. His hand tried to reach the arrow that pinned him, only to have his hand burn as he tried to grab it. He had to disrobe to free himself and then rip his clothing from the tree.

Now he was thoroughly pissed at the miko.

He tried a few more times to steal the jewel from the girl, but he always met the same fate, pinned to a tree by her arrows. Each time she said the same thing. She asked him to stop so that she wouldn’t be wasting any more of her precious arrows.

In a moment of anger, he finally addressed her. “Why don’t you finish me off? You know I’ll keep on coming back!”

It was the first time he noticed any reaction from her cool, outward demeanor. For a fraction of a second he noticed her shoulders sag, before she righted herself and straightened her shoulders.

“I know, too, what it is like to be of mixed blood, hanyou… Now go away before I do finish you off.”

He didn’t attack her again after that. For some reason, his anger had cooled and the jewel’s whispers had started to fade.

He told himself that he was merely watching to find a weakness in her defense. But he found his thoughts drifting away from the jewel and centering more on the miko that was defending the object. Did she really know what it was like to be rejected by society, to be an outcast? Did her foreign blood mark her as much as his mixed human/demonic blood?

It had been some months after his final attempt when he heard the screaming of a swarm of demons approaching.

Many demons had attempted to steal the jewel from Kagome while he watched, but it was only a single demon or a small group. What was coming to the village looked more like a blackened cloud descending in successive waves.

He kept his distance, standing in his tree at the edge of the village as he watched the onslaught take place. He almost smirked when he saw the miko face the gathering swarm with the young boy and an older miko by her side. He didn’t know who he felt more sorry for, the triumvirate that was defending the village or the demons who were attacking.

Somehow the trio had made a barrier that blocked the lesser demons from entering. The weaker demons splattered like bugs underfoot when they hit the glowing pink barrier.

However, the stronger demons were able to make it past the defense. He watched in fascination as the girl wielded her arrows. From her bow she fired purifying hellfire upon the attacking foes. He had never seen her truly fight as hard as he was seeing tonight. Her arrows were liquid flame that engulfed every demon they touched in a brilliant white, before they turned into ashes, fluttering back to the ground as dust.

The boy by her side held a sword that must have been tempered with purification powers, for only a scratch from the weapon had greater demons howling in pain. Inuyasha had never truly liked the kid, but he did admire the tyke’s hutzpah. A normal boy would have been fleeing in terror, but this young man had something to prove. He smiled at every slash and then quickly looked up at his older tutor with eager eyes hoping for her to acknowledge his hard work.

Next to the young man was a wizened miko. She wasn’t as quick as the other two defenders, but Inuyasha noticed that she was channeling all of her strength into the shield that surrounded them. The old woman was chanting ancient words as she wrapped prayer beads around her joined hands. Her supplications seemed to strengthen the barrier before them.

Somewhere, deep in his gut, he felt an uncertainty. Something was vibrating within him that was akin to worry. He tried to shake off the feeling.

He had been waiting and this was finally his opportunity. He only had to wait until the miko was finally felled by a demon, then he could quickly sneak in and take the jewel for himself. All he had to do was bide his time.

Inuyasha could tell that the miko was weakening. She wasn’t standing quite as tall, blackened blood marred her face and worry creased her brow. The most telling sign was that her quiver was slowly being emptied; she only had a few arrows left.

The boy next to her had wearied movements, his clothing was starting to tatter and become bloodied from demonic attacks. His youthful enthusiasm was lost as the fight wore on with no sign of stopping.

The older miko’s eyes were now closed. Sweat was beading down her brow and the barrier around the triad was starting to flicker, like a candle’s flame that was sputtering to a close.

The worry that had sparked in Inuyasha’s gut started to escape from him. The jewel was calling to him, telling him that this was the moment he had been waiting for…a moment of weakness. But there was something stronger that was raging within him. He could only look on with apprehension as the tides of battle turned against the trio of humans attempting to defend the village.

Inuyasha stared at the miko. He should be happy that she was about to be struck down. The very miko who had taunted him and had told him he was a waste of arrows would not survive this very night.

He couldn’t explain why dread vibrated in his gut. But deep inside, he only saw a sad beauty defending her home. A woman who had told him that she also knew what it was like to be of mixed blood.

The next moments seem to happen simultaneously. The old miko’s barrier finally flickered away, it’s light extinguished. Then the full impact of the remaining horde descended onto the small group.

The boy was the first to fall. The young frame crumpled to the ground as an ogre’s claws slashed viciously down the boy’s back, leaving a gurgled scream that erupted from the young man’s throat.

Kagome immediately fell to the boy’s side, exposing her back to the oncoming throng. It was suicide.

Inuyasha should have stolen the jewel then, but he found his feet propelled to the miko’s side before he could take in another breath. He just knew that he had to help the miko. For some reason the thought of her being torn down terrified him. Kagome was clutching the young boy to her chest, sobbing in anguish. A large ogre was at her back with sharp claws and glistening long teeth ready to impale themselves upon her tender flesh.

Suddenly, he was there between the ogre and Kagome. His claws ripped the demon in two, splitting him down the middle.

He grabbed Kagome by the waist and hauled her up. Wet tears and a sense of the inevitable reigned on her face, until the flickering of surprise and confusion suffused her features. “Fight, dammit!” he yelled in her face. “Fight!”

She stumbled back, grabbing the boy’s sword and renewed her attack. She wasn’t a graceful sword user, but she could channel a purifying punch into the metal blade.

For the next few fateful minutes they stood back to back, fighting together. He lashed at anything that came his way; if it wasn’t his claws it was his own blood that fell like blades against his attackers. Somewhere in the depths of his soul the call for the jewel had quieted, the only thing driving him now was the need to protect the girl behind him. Somehow that gave him an inner strength that before now had been unknown; for the first time he had reached into himself and had sought to protect another. His fury and emotions welled up inside him, making him a deadly foe.

All too suddenly the din of the battle faded into deathly silence. He heard his own shuddered breaths as he turned to the miko, expecting a word of thanks from his erstwhile foe. He was surprised and actually rather annoyed when the miko threw her arms around the young boy who had been felled.

“Naraku!” She cried. “Don’t you dare give up on me!”

Then she looked up at the hanyou, who had saved their lives. “You have got to help him, he’s only a boy. Take us to my hut.”

Inuyasha should have refused her. She had never even acknowledged what he had done. But he found himself sweeping the boy, Kagome and the older miko into his grasp and swiftly carrying them to the girl’s hut. Then Kagome and Kaede instantly ignored him, pulling healing salves out of jars, pulling out bandages and quickly going to work on the boy who had just had his spine clawed and lacerated.

The hanyou growled in frustration and walked out the front door. For the first time since he had been orphaned he had done something good and no one seemed to acknowledge his deed. He should have left the miko then and there. But he stood outside of her hut as a silent defender. His heart was heavy, but it wasn’t with regret, it was only filled with detached bitterness. He was certain that he would always be the outsider looking in.

He didn’t mark the time that he had watched over the home. But once the sun peaked its warm rays over the horizon, turning the darkness into grey and then shimmering pink, the hut’s front flap flipped open.

Inuyasha turned in startled surprise to see the young miko bowing to him. “Hanyou-san, would you like to have breakfast with us?”

He blinked in surprise. He didn’t remember anyone ever inviting him to join them for a meal since his mother had died long ago.

“Inuyasha…” he said gruffly.

The miko looked up from her bow and regarded him quizzically. “Inuyasha…?”

“My name,” he retorted with a little too much venom, but it had been a trying night. He tried to make his next words sound more subdued. “My name is Inuyasha.”

“Ah,” chimed in the miko as she bowed again. “My name is Kagome. My companions are Kaede and Naraku. Would you like to join us for breakfast, Inuyasha?”

He tried to grouse, he really did. But a small smirk tugged at the side of his mouth at the invitation and he silently joined them for breakfast.

In the aftermath of the fight Inuyasha found himself staying with his strange new companions. The two mikos provided him with a bedroll and regular meals. But the boy never truly recovered. Even though he managed to live, he was never able to walk again.

Inuyasha supposed that he should have been more sympathetic to the boy; after all he was paralyzed from the waist down. But for the first time in his life he felt too content to worry about anything or anyone else who might have been suffering.

He soon took up the role of being a protector of the village, especially since the young kannushi was no longer there to help. He would often fight alongside Kagome, and even in the midst of battle he felt at peace. He finally had someone to protect, someone who had become his companion. He often looked at the miko when she wasn’t aware; a contented smile drew itself across his lips. And sometimes she would return his slow smile with one of her own.

Something started to change deep inside of him, when once he had only felt internal anger and bitter rancor, now he felt an inner peace and warmth whenever he was with the miko. The only time he knew any discontent was when Kagome was in danger. Even the villagers seemed to adapt to him. After defending the village they even brought both him and the miko occasional tribute. The first time they had brought him a bushel of rice and vegetables he had been befuddled. Now it was a measure of acceptance that he was starting to expect.

However, like most things in his life, peace was fleeting. One night after everyone had dozed off to sleep he silently gazed at Kagome. He tilted his head to get a better look at her. He would never tell her that she looked beautiful or that he would sometimes stare at her while she slept. But another pair of eyes in the room had already discovered his secret.

A hoarse young voice spoke up. “Stop staring at her. She’s not for you to look at,” muttered the young boy.

Inuyasha was startled out of his reverie. He should have noticed the lad glowering at him with twitching anger in his eyes, but he had become too distracted.

“Feh. I wasn’t looking at her,” he responded in a dismissing tone and then tried to settle back to sleep. He’d look at Kagome again after the kannushi was asleep. It wasn’t as if he really needed as much sleep as a human, he could be patient.

The boy coughed, his voice rose in volume as he spoke. “I see you looking at her every night. Don’t tell me that you don’t look at her!”

Inuyasha settled uneasily against the wall, trying to ignore the young man.

“She’s mine you know. I’m going to marry her when I come of age,” claimed the young boy.

“What?” This was certainly news to him. He had never heard a rumor about their engagement, but then such things were often arranged at birth between couples that knew less about each other than these spiritualists. Somehow the thought of Kagome married to anyone caused a twinge near his heart. He hated the sour feeling that was percolating in his gut. He tried to dismiss it.

“Do you really think that she could be with a hanyou?” the young boy scoffed. “Mikos need to remain pure, they can’t even let someone with demonic powers touch them. They can only be with a human. If a demon is with a miko, they lose all of their powers.” The young boy grinned as he saw the startled look on the hanyou’s face.

For the next few days sleep evaded Inuyasha.

It was harder to be around Kagome after he found out that she could never be with him. He tried not to be bitter, but it gnawed at him and made him very irritable. He couldn’t see why she had chosen the young boy, but then he imagined it was probably never her choice to make. The young boy and Kagome were both outcasts, and she could only be with a human.

He should have realized that she would never truly ally herself with a hanyou. Somewhere, deep down inside he had hoped that she would one day come to love him and perhaps even become his mate. He knew that she did care for him. However, now he started to see her warmth and kindness in a different light. Wasn’t she just as caring to any villager that she healed, even the ones who rejected her? Truly, Inuyasha came to see that he really did not have a special place in her heart. At most, she must have only pitied him.

It was then that he tried to distance himself from Kagome. He could tell that she was confused with his behavior, but he wasn’t going to explain himself. She should know that they could never be more than acquaintances and that required a measure of aloofness. His anger boiled within him, but he could never find it within himself to abandon her. Being with her riled his internal anger, but being away from her only made him anxious with worry.

During this time his brother had made it known that he was searching for his father’s gravesite. Since Inuyasha had never known where his old man was buried, he never thought Sesshoumaru would seek him out.

He was wrong.

Inuyasha remembered his older brother ripping a blackened gem out of his eye and then using the gem to open up a portal to the realm of the dead.

His brother, the full dog demon, made his way through the swirling gate. To his surprise, Kagome quickly shadowed him and then yelled at him to follow her.

“Fucking meddlesome wench!” he shouted as he followed her into the unknown.

What followed was something that would forever wrack his nerves. In the bowels of his father’s immense bones was a sword that Sesshoumaru had titled ‘Tessaiga.’ It was his father’s heirloom and his older brother deemed it to be his.

But when the elder brother tried to pull the sword from its resting place, it wouldn’t budge. In fact, it shocked the demon with an electrifying repulsion, charring the demon’s hands.

It was Kagome who finally called upon him to pull the sword from the stone. At first the sword wouldn’t budge under his hands and he almost gave up in defeat. But then he saw his older brother’s gleaming golden eyes and the poisonous claws threatening Kagome.

What happened next was purely instinct. The sword pulsed in his hands and slid free from its confines, as if glue that had been holding it down suddenly dissolved. He waved the sword as he yelled, swinging it at his brother in a mad attempt to defend Kagome from a certain death.

His sword suddenly transformed in his hand. It glowed and enlarged like a blade of moonlight, his father’s fang alive in his grip. Green poison vaporized against the Tessaiga, but he was too late. The poison melted the ribs of his father’s bones, entombing Kagome in a wall of molten fluid.

A strangled cry erupted from him. Inuyasha felt like his insides had been ripped asunder. Emptiness and bitter anger overcame him.

Sesshoumaru was going to pay for Kagome’s death.

His blows fell in rapid succession, pushing the dog demon back. Sesshoumaru only snarled before changing into his true form, that of a gigantic dog demon that towered over Inuyasha like a monumental dinosaur.

The transformation of his brother didn’t faze Inuyasha. Kagome had died. Sesshoumaru had killed her and he was too late to save her. His own self-loathing for not being able to protect the girl was only outdone by his need to kill his own brother.

The fang slashed and swung at its opponent until Inuyashsa had managed to slice off his brother’s left foreleg. The huge dog howled in pain before it leapt away from the Tessaiga, licking his wounds.

“Come back here, you bastard!” Inuyasha fell to his knees. “Come back here and fight, Sesshoumaru!”

He didn’t know how long he stood there, tears sliding down his face. His only condolence was that no one was there to see his uncontrolled emotions.

Inuyasha should have known that Kagome wasn’t easily killed. She had somehow placed a barrier around herself and managed to smash the cocoon that surrounded her with a purifying arrow.

During his grief she had approached him. “Inuyasha…?” she had whispered tentatively.

He didn’t think as he grabbed Kagome and pulled her into a tight embrace. “Fuck. I thought you were dead, I thought…” He held her fast and didn’t seem to care that she knew he had been crying or what the tears had meant.

It took a few seconds for him to come to his senses. His eyes widened in realization of his enormous blunder and he tried to push Kagome away.

The young miko was having none of that. She stomped her feet and glared at him.

“No! I am not going over this again with you! Why are you so hot and cold?!” She shoved him in the chest with the flat of her palm. Kagome’s anger rose and her words increased in volume. “Why do you always push me away?”

His look of cold fury caused her anger to drain. “You know why, Kagome,” he yelled. “I’m a fucking hanyou and mikos aren’t allowed to have someone impure like me touch them!”

The look on her face was of disbelief. “Who told you that?” her voice rose and she started to slap his chest again. “Who told you that, Inuyasha?”

“Naraku,” the hanyou yelled. “He said you were promised to him and that I better stay away from you. That I could fuck up your powers if I got too close to you.”

“He told you what?” She paused in her tirade to look up at Inuyasha with widened eyes. “And you believed him?”

Inuyasha was stunned into submission. He never doubted the boy. As a hanyou he had been rejected his entire life; it had become commonplace. It was his moments of happiness with Kagome that he saw as fleeting.

“So what…” Kagome was in his face again. “So if you hugged me, I’m going to lose my powers?”

“I don’t…” he responded.

“What if you kissed me?” The miko continued with her interrogation. “Am I suddenly going to have my spiritual abilities fizzle away into nothingness?”

“I…I don’t…” he stuttered, wondering not for the first time what it would be like to kiss her.

“That’s right, Inuyasha. You don’t know. That was all lies! My mother was a prostitute; my father was a foreigner. If your ‘impure’ assumption were even true, I’d never have any spiritual abilities to begin with! My very birth was about as impure as you could get!” She was seething as she forcefully hit his chest again and again. “You…you…idiot!”

Then she did something he wasn’t expecting. She grabbed his forelocks in her hands and pulled him to her. Her lips found his and her soft body pressed up against him. Normally he would have pushed her away. He’d never risk her loss of powers on something like a kiss, no matter how much be wanted it. But he had thought she had died, and right now he was miserably weak.

He responded in kind, gathering her wavy tresses in his hands. Touching her cheeks and sliding his lips against hers before she parted her own with a sigh. He delved into her mouth, savoring what he found, desperation guiding his movements.

He told himself, ‘Only once…’ He would stop after one moment of giving in. He just couldn’t help himself now. His heart drummed in his chest; his breaths were short and violent, his hands shaking as he held her to him.

When their lips finally parted, they were both panting and he felt instant emptiness. He looked at her kiss-swollen lips and then he moved to kiss her again. This time it was not sudden; it was gentle and reverent. As if it would be the last time he would ever dare to kiss her.

When he told her they should never kiss again, Kagome had other ideas. She told him that she needed to prove him wrong. So she would kiss him and then show that her powers were still working. She repeated this every time he doubted her. He might have even pretended to doubt her a few times, just to get her close to him again.

When they finally got back to the village, Kagome had a long talk with Naraku. Inuyasha had given them privacy, so he never knew what the conversation entailed, but he only knew the sullen boy started to become more listless and angry as time passed.

During the next months, Inuyasha finally learned how to wield the Tessaiga properly, having perfected the ‘Wind Scar’ and the ‘Backlash Wave.’ His father’s fang finally felt at home in his hand, its weight familiar. It became an extension of himself; a weapon that he handled with growing clarity and wisdom.

Sesshoumaru was starting to even show Inuyasha a grudging respect, though there would never be harmony between the brothers. It might have been Sesshoumaru’s human companion, Rin, who had managed to soften his frozen exterior.

Inuyasha still traveled with Kagome and he found their new intimacy amazing. However, as much as he had dreamed of taking Kagome as a wife, he never tried to push their companionship past an occasional kiss. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he was still worried that Naraku’s words might indeed come true.

Of course, even someone as honorable and stubborn as Inuyasha could be pushed past his limits. The first time he had seen the miko nude was when they had encountered the Peach Man. Kagome had been captured and was being prepared as a meal. He found her naked and soaking in a sake bath, demons with sharp knives had surrounded her, ready to make her the next entrée. She had never been so happy to see him. Kagome had lost all sense of modesty when she rose from the tub, sake dripping off of her ivory skin, rosy pert breasts on full display and her dark hair clinging to her shoulders and curving around her breasts.

It was an image that would forever be emblazoned in his mind. Despite the welcome vision he was facing, he was an honorable man. He quickly put his haori over her nakedness and even evaded his eyes until she got dressed.

That moment quickly became his undoing, repeating itself, especially when his eyes were closed. It made him think of the possibility of Kagome as a sexual companion, a wife, rather than just a close friend that he occasionally kissed.

Eventually his desires found root in his need to build a hut for his desired family. Even the villagers helped him, giving him tatami mats, wood and other building supplies to furnish his new den. He never told Kagome why he was building the new accommodations, but he knew it was for her. He couldn’t take her as a wife if Naraku was glaring at them every night. They would need their own place to live.

It was when his new hut was almost done that he finally asked Kagome to be with him. He supposed that he could have been a little more tactful. He only mentioned that the hut was almost done and that he wanted her to move in with him. She was the one who drew the conclusions, she was the one who first mentioned the words husband and wife.

There was to be a small ceremony lead by Kaede. They did their best to keep the knowledge from the young cripple who had once fancied himself as Kagome’s suitor. But once he found out the truth from a villager he could only rage. This time his anger became directed at both of them. Kaede said she would watch over him and that his anger would fade in time.

It was Inuyasha’s instincts that screamed that there was something wrong with the youth. But he was happy and he was about to get everything he ever wanted: a woman who loved him and didn’t care that he was a hanyou, a place where he belonged and someone to protect. But that sense of peace he had rarely felt seemed to be overcome by dark whispers.

He should have listened to the murmurs, but he was too lost in his own joy to notice the creeping darkness.

It was the day before their joining ceremony. He was putting the finishing touches on his new home, admiring his handiwork when the miko arrived.

Kagome stood there before the door. She seemed pensive in her red hakama pants and white top. The wind was playing with her hair, her inky-black tresses waving like tentacles.

She had paused in front of him, a sardonic grin on her face.

“Kagome?” he had asked as he turned to face her. Something was wrong, but he couldn’t place it. Her scent was correct, but his gut was telling him something else.

She put her lithe arms around his neck, an odd smile gracing her lips. She was about to speak when another voice called out from the nearby forest.

“Inuyasha! I’m sorry to come back so quickly, I thought…” Another Kagome had rounded the corner and was caught off guard by the strange sight of seeing herself embrace Inuyasha.

He tried to rid himself of the imposter that had her hands around his neck. The last thing he remembered were those very arms morphing into sharpened blades and slicing into his neck, Kagome’s screams echoing in his mind.

“Shit!” Inuyasha lunged forward in his futon, grasping his own neck. His own heart was hammering and he felt like he could barely suck in enough air to breathe.

He glanced around to see his apartment. His flat screen TV and Sony Playstation were in the corner. Morning light was streaming into his room from his balcony.

“Just a fucking dream,” he muttered to himself. He didn’t remember all of it, but parts of it had seemed so real. When that girl’s arms had wrapped around his throat, all he could see was Kagome’s face.

“Inuyasha? Are you OK?” Kagome had somehow heard his cries and was standing in the doorway to the family room.

His reaction was instantaneous. His face turned ashen and he instinctively moved away from her.

Her timid footsteps tried to follow him into the room, but he only pushed himself back. “I’m fine. Fucking stay away from me right now!” he bellowed.

The miko only swallowed in confusion. She actually looked hurt by his rejection, but right now that did not faze him. He could only see Kagome’s eyes laughing at him while she sliced his head off. The miko moved away and drifted back down the hallway.

“It was only a fucking dream,” he kept on repeating to himself. “Only a dream…” He rubbed his neck again. Everything was in one piece. His head had never been sliced off. There was no maniacal miko trying to chop off his head. He was being paranoid.

It took a few minutes for him to get his breathing back under control. Then he headed to the shower. He needed to let his head clear.

After undressing he let his body fall under the cascading warm water. He just stood there for a few minutes, trying to grasp the concept of ‘now.’ Whatever he had dreamed was some delusion of an ancient feudal era. It must have been all of Kagome’s mad talks about being from 500 years in the past and that recent attack that had almost killed him that had given him the nightmare.

He nodded to himself as he started to lather himself in suds. The familiar motions and the modern bathroom that surrounded him gave him a calming balance that he needed. Soon he found himself clean, refocused and ready to start his day.

He exited the shower with only a white towel wrapped around his waist. He forgot that the bathroom was next to the kitchen.

Kagome apparently had been trying to make breakfast for them. She had managed to lay out two small plates on his small dining room table. She had a teapot in her hand and was fiddling around with the nobs on the stove.

“How does one start a fire…?” she seemed to be murmuring to herself.

Inuyasha moved up behind her and flipped the correct nob. The stove clicked and then flames erupted from one of the burners. This shocked Kagome enough to send her spiraling back into Inuyasha, where he caught her in his arms. Unfortunately, holding her also meant that he was no longer holding his towel, which was hanging precariously on his hips. Only Kagome’s body, pressed against his stomach, was keeping the towel from falling to the floor.

She looked up at his face with a look of disbelief. Then the tips of her lips curved to smile before she noticed a naked chest against her back. Her eyes were drawn from his face, to his neck and wide clavicle bones before her eyes started to trail down his lean and muscular chest. She had just noticed a treasure trail of silver hair barely hidden under his towel before her shocked face turned bright red.

“Thank you, I…” she stuttered as she turned back around to look at the stovetop and anything but him.

With her back turned, he carefully readjusted the towel and knotted it a little tighter. He should have been upset at what he had done, but he could only smirk in amusement. “The black nobs turn on the fire,” he explained as he walked away backwards, clutching his towel in his hands.

She nodded demurely and soon had a teapot on the stove.

Inuyasha dressed quickly and was more than happy to be eating something other than ramen for breakfast. It wasn’t a large breakfast and consisted mainly of chopped fish and vegetables with rice cakes. There were also two steaming teacups on the table.

He sat down gratefully and even murmured a word of thanks. “Ittadakimasu,” he said while holding his hands together in prayer.

He broke his wooden chopsticks in half and dug into his meal.

While Inuyasha shoved food into his mouth, devouring it like a wolf. Kagome only ate slowly and methodically, chewing slowly and sipping thoughtfully.

His dream was almost completely forgotten as he rubbed his full belly and put his dirty dishes into the sink. He would find time to wash them later.

It was his vibrating cell phone that let him know a text had just arrived. He had almost forgotten about the errand he was supposed to run today. Hojo was making sure that he wouldn’t neglect his promise from yesterday.

“Hojo wants us over at the Sunset shrine,” remarked Inuyasha as he looked down at his smartphone.

“How do you know this?” asked Kagome. “Did he stop on by while I was asleep?”

“No.” Inuyasha waved his glowing smartphone in the air and pointed to a recent text message. “He just texted us.”

“Texted?” inquired Kagome as she peered at the weird rectangular glowing device that had words printed on it. She even started to mouth the message that she saw. “His handwriting is curious.”

Inuyasha shook his head. Sometimes she really did act like she was from 500 years ago. But maybe she just knocked her head on something that made her forget. Even people from third world countries had cell phones.

He wandered over to the genken and sat down preparing to put on his shoes.

“Come on Kagome, it’s time to meet your prospective employers.”

The miko was wearing the new robes that Hojo had given her, even her geta sandals that she slid on over her long white tabi socks were gifts from the teenager. Somehow Inuyasha’s mood automatically shifted into the negative when he thought about it. He really didn’t like the idea of anyone else providing for Kagome and he had no idea why he was feeling this way. He was being completely illogical and he knew it.

With Inuyasha’s concealment spell firmly in place, they made their way outside of his apartment. However, somehow walking with her and putting his hand on the small of her back made him feel better. After making it onto the Tokyo Metro and walking a few blocks, they had finally made their way to the Sunset Shrine.

At the beginning of the shrine was a steep staircase with a large red, torii gate standing sentinel above it. They both paused at the top to purify themselves at the dragon festooned fountain at the entrance, sipping from the water with a wooden cup and pouring water over their hands. For some reason whispers of demons being impure raced through Inuyasha’s mind like a distant memory and he couldn’t place where it was from.

As they made their way into the shrine, Inuyasha noticed an older man with grey hair and shrunken frame who was obviously the resident kannushi. He was wearing grey hakama pants and a white yukata. A small young boy was running around the older man and the immense tree that stood in the middle of the clearing.

When the boy spied Kagome coming up the walkway he ran toward the girl. “Big sister! You’re here!” The small boy who could have only been four or five years of age wrapped himself around Kagome’s knees.

She only smiled and did her best to hug him back, awkwardly trying to grasp someone attached to her legs.

“Little one, I am not your sister,” she replied. “All mikos wear the same garments.”

The young boy only looked up at Kagome with wide grey-blue eyes. He shook his head vehemently and hugged her knees even tighter. “Don’t go again, sister. Don’t go…”

Inuyasha was startled. Kagome’s eye color was extremely unique in Japan and yet this young boy who had claimed her as a sibling had the same attributes.

“Souta,” exclaimed a middle-aged woman. She walked up to the new couple that had appeared and seemed to be on the verge of censoring the young boy. Inuyasha’s superior sight also noticed that the woman had the same eyes, the color of the sea during a storm.

Kagome was too enraptured by the young boy to notice anything else around her. She knelt and was now face to face with the child, trying to convince him that she wasn’t his sister.

Something twisted in his gut when he saw the sight. It was actually beautiful to see Kagome interact so lovingly with a child, but it brought out some forgotten memory from a dream. Some memory where Kagome had a young boy with her, a young boy that made him feel very uncomfortable.

“Mother!” the boy cried joyously. “Look who I found! Sister! See! I told you she’s not dead!”

The older woman glanced from her son to the miko kneeling next to him. Her face went instantly white as she uttered one name, “Kikyo.” Then the lady’s eyes rolled upward as she crumpled to the ground.

The Next Chapter: Moving On…should be posted in a month. Sorry to change from weekly to monthly postings. The first four chapters that you have just been reading actually took four months to write. I just delayed posting them until I had four chapters under my belt. Chapter 5 is actually 80% done.
Author's Notes:
#1: In the anime, Kagome has brown eyes, yet in the manga she has either sky blue or grey eyes, depending on what watercolor Rumiko Takahashi was using at the time. I decided to keep with the manga coloring. In order for Kagome to have a different eye color and wavy hair instead of straight hair, I decided to push the idea of Kagome being a mix of foreign and Japanese blood (the Portuguese landed on Japan in 1543 and it is possible that Kagome could be of Japanese and Portuguese heritage if she had blue-grey eyes and wavy hair).
#2: The memory where Inuyasha seeing Kagome nude for the first time was actually mentioned in chapter two where Inuyasha rejects the idea that he had ever seen her nude, though for some reason he had a pretty good mental picture of what she would have looked like. ;-)
#3: ‘Ittadakimasu’ (pronounced "ee-ta-da-ki-mas") means ‘I gratefully receive’ and is said before eating a meal in Japan.#4: To answer a few questions: Yes, Hojo is both a hanyou and a Kannushi. No, Inuyasha doesn’t believe that Kagome is truly from the past…yet… And I am astounded about how many of you like the ‘past’ Inuyasha the best, but please keep in mind he’s actually modern Inuyasha’s subconscious. It’s too bad that our modern Inuyasha doesn’t consciously know this…Oh and now you have your answer to the frequently asked, ‘Where’s Kikyo?’ question. ;-)