InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Where do you go? ❯ What's Wrong With Sango? ( Chapter 3 )

[A/N - Ok, ok, we all know I'm a Bad BAD person because I forgot to put this in before, but here is my disclaimer: I do not Inuyasha, so don't sue me, because I couldn't afford it! There I'm done!]

 

Chapter 3: What's Wrong With Sango?

 

Inuyasha and Kagome had finished their not-quite-but-almost-dead-quiet journey of about 100 feet to the well house.

“Well, here we are, at the well!” said Kagome, still trying to act all cheerful, covering up for her slip.

“Kagome?” said Inuyasha quietly. Kagome turned up and faced him with such a big-eyed huge insanely fake smile he backed up a little. “YES?” she said with her eyes still stretched past what seemed humanely possible. [And for that we have anime! Wooooot! Ok I'm done now!]

“Uh…the well house is only 100 feet away…it's not a big distance…and we've done it a million times before…so why do you act so excited?” he said, now dubious at his own words. He had gone over them for all of ten seconds in his head, and in his head they had sounded like the macho guy he was, but they came out very quiet, afraid, and deeply disturbed.

“But it's the first time of a new day!” she said, laughing insanely. “And it's the first time that you've carried me since you know how I feel about you!” continuing the evil annoying high-pitched laughter for a while then stopping abruptly.

“Er…how was that again?” he muttered, looking up, blushing, and scratching his cheek.

“NOTHING! If you forgot, you forgot!” she said happily and started dancing in circles with her index fingers sticking up and waving them up and down while twirling.

“Wow that girl is nuts…what do you see in her?” said that little voice in Inuyasha's head dubiously.

“Shut up! I told you, I only LIKE her! No love! Nope! Nuh uh! No love between us at all!” he thought back at it, grinning at the sight before him from his place in the corner hiding.

“What are you waiting for? Let's go, Inuyasha!” she said, seemingly sober.

Phew. Finally she had quieted. No more evil dancing would be seen tonight. With those thoughts, Inuyasha picked her up and jumped back into the Sengoku Jidai.

Kaede's village was in terror. People were running and screaming from the enemy attacking their village. The Mysterious Person was looking for one thing -

Noodles. She wanted them, and she wanted them now!

“GET ME MY NOODLES, THEN LICK THE SORRY GROUND!” was the scream that emanated from the figure in the dark.

Miroku was one of the people in fear of the figure. For it was someone who he knew and…yes, yes, loved.

Sango wanted her noodles, but no one could explain why.

Endlessly he tried to restrain her, getting continuously hit with the Hiraikotsu.

“Houshi-sama! Don't try and stop me! Or I might just make you lick the ground too…after I get my noodles of course! LET ME GET THEM NOW!”

She pinned him down with her murderous weapon, fully prepared to pay the ultimate price for her noodles: murder.

At this moment, Kagome and Inuyasha decided to make their appearance. They had heard about the village being attacked by a passing whiff of cloud in the shape of a screaming imp, and were hurrying towards the source. However, nothing had prepared them for what they saw.

Miroku had decided that he valued his life.

He was in front of Sango, who was sitting on a smoking rooftop as if it were a throne, and he was in…no, it couldn't be!

Miroku was in a worship stance; on his knees, with his arms on the ground in front of him, and a little further ahead was a bowl of steaming instant noodles.

More, he kept on murmuring something under his breath, as if it were a special mantra that could help him achieve enlightenment.

“Sango almighty, ruler of noodles and consumer of followers, you are the great one, you are the great one. I shall serve you your noodles straight from heaven, for wherever you sit is the most holiest of thrones, and the ground beneath you feet blooms or dies as you choose it…”

And so on.

Inuyasha and Kagome merely stood there staring with disbelieving eyes. Finally Inuyasha had the courage to speak: he had to defend what was his, damn it!

“OI, Sango! I'll have you know that those are MY noodles! You can't have them! Kagome brought them for me, they're my favorite food, and I'M GOING TO EAT THEM WHEN THE TIME COMES! SO HANDS OFF MY CLAIM!” he shouted, clearly willing to do what it would take to get them back.

“Ohahahahaha!” cackled Sango. “Le wee little doggy wishes for his yumyums back! We'll he'll not have them! He will have to wait! For Sango the almighty has priority over the noodles! Let's see you beg, doggy boy, or better yet…” she trailed off with an evil cackle. “I'll give you your noodles back if you do Kagome a favor, scare Miroku, and make me laugh! All at the same time!”

“Hmmm…”

“Hey, I can help you here!” popped up that little voice. “I know exactly what you can do!”

“You do? Why do I get a bad feeling? I'm not normally that perceptive…” he thought confusedly.

“Easy! Miroku's not gay right? Kagome loves you, right? Sango's crazy right?” it started, warming up to his topic.

“I guess so…HEY! What are you planning?!” he said, very much afraid for his pride.

“It's as easy as this, my man! Sango will laugh at ANYTHING right now, Kagome craves affection from you, and Miroku is straight! Can't you see what I'm planning?” the voice said excitedly; if he played this right he'd be laughing to his grave!

“Nothing comes to mi-…hey, WAIT! YOU FILTHY LITTLE FUCK! What are you planning?!?!?!?!” He became very angry and mortified at what this voice was suggesting.

“Come on…show them how much of a man you REALLY are!” he whispered convincingly. “All the cool demons are doing it! Try it, just this once…it can't kill you!”

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING? IF I'M THINKING WHAT YOU'RE THINKING I'D BE RUINED FOREVER!!!!!!!!” Inuyasha roared mentally.

“Well if that's the way you feel…but think of how much Kagome would put out after that! And Miroku would never bug you again; he'd be too busy hiding! And Sango would just keep laughing, because it looks like she's lost it for good!”

“I'm keeping my clothes right where they are!” he said with the usual stubbornness that he had.

“Fine, we'll drop that idea, but how about something else? Just a little kiss! That can't hurt too much, can it?”

“More than you know…if I did that once then Kagome would expect me to do that all the time!” he silently angrily muttered.

“Hey, is that so bad?” said the voice, waggling it's mental eyebrows.

Inuyasha had naught but a blush to say to that.

“What about Kikyou…” he said weakly.

“Kikyou? Psh! Kikyou is nothing more than an old promise, and you know it, buddy boy! It's time to move on to better women!”

Inuyasha took a step forward. “Oh my god…the things you do for noodles…” said the voice.

“Noodles? What? Oh yeah…noodles…I'm doing this to get the noodles back…” he said, quickly covering up for what his mind was REALLY on.

With an angry flush on his cheeks, Inuyasha looked up at Sango and yelled, “ALRIGHT SANGO! I ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE! I SHALL MAKE YOU LAUGH, DO KAGOME A FAVOR, AND SCARE MIROKU ALL AT THE SAME TIME!” breathing deeply, he waited for the reply.

Sango laughed.

“Yup this one's in the bag…” he muttered.

Slowly he walked towards Kagome.

 

Five Million Kilometers Away From The Ozone Layer, Spaceship Schmifftey Two:

 

“This sure is slow…” said Jub, not moving, just staring out the windshield that took up half a room.

“Tell me about it…” replied Ick, in the same stance.

 

Author: And that's it for now!! Wow, I haven't updated in a LONG time! Did you miss me?? …Psh yeah right, I've only got one review. *Sighs* Well, I'm having fun writing this, if no one is having fun reading it!

R

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Byebyeeeee!!!