InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Where Is It? ❯ Where Is It? ( One-Shot )

Author’s Notes: Howdy. This is my first time on MM but not my first fic (I have others floating around on various other fic sites). However this is my first Inuyasha fic since I’ve fallen madly in love with the show and Inuyasha himself (drool and starry eyes *_*). So please read and tell me what you think. Ja!

Disclaimer: the hanyou, the two mikos, the houshi, the taijiya, the neko, the kitsune and other characters do not belong to me.

****

Where was it?

After a total of twenty five minutes the damn thing had still come up short.

You can’t live without it…it made life so much easier…all that manual labour to do if it wasn’t found…

Inuyasha shuddered.

“Oi Kagome! Where is it?” the silver haired, dog eared, red clothed hanyou called out abruptly for the girl he’d known for a long while now. He leaped out of the chair he was in, all senses on alert.

To get Inuyasha to stop thinking about the Shikon shards for once in his youkai extended life, Kagome brought the hanyou back to her time to teach him about the “black box” that sat peacefully in her living room. Yet she didn’t think he’d learn this quickly…

“Nani, Inuyasha?” Kagome asked, stepping into the room and glancing upon the boy scooping up her cat, Buyo, with a suspicious gleam within his gold eyes. Buyo flicked his tail in anticipation, thinking that he was going to get another belly rub from the only dog he liked.

“Kagome, you know what I’m talking about! Did Buyo eat it?” the hanyou replied hastily and proceeded to pry open Buyo’s reluctant jaws. The cat mewled in protest, his eyes bulging almost comically.

“Inuyasha!” Kagome cried and ran to save her poor cat. “Inuyasha! Buyo did not eat it, whatever it was!” She struggled with him for all of five seconds before the hanyou got disinterested. Buyo dropped to the ground and set off at a run scowling over his shoulder at his attacker.

‘Stupid dog,’ Buyo thought, trying his best to do the human scowling face, but his attempt looked like he was going to heave a hairball. Unfortunately he wasn’t watching his progress…

…which caused the cat to run smack into the doorjamb and pass out.

“Buyo…” Kagome muttered shaking her head at the dazed cat with swirls in his eyes. “Mou Inuyasha, you-“ but to her dismay the hanyou was gone, an Inuyasha shaped hole in her window. He had seemingly run with his arms in the air and his legs outward.

Kagome moved to the broken window, surveying the damage. Sighing she looked out across the shrine grounds to the well outhouse. An eerie bluish, purple light trickled from the open cracks of the outhouse and Kagome smirked widely.

It was time to teach the hanyou a lesson or two about the laws of TV…

***

“Sango! Miroku! Shippou!” Inuyasha sniffed the air and set of at a run for the village. Trees passed him by at a green blur and he all but flew across the forest floor. But Inuyasha didn’t notice: he had a dire emergency and Kagome couldn’t help him. Maybe the others could…

Inuyasha called his three companions names again and Shippou emerged from Kaede’s hut, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

“Oi, Inuyasha-baka! What’s your problem?” Shippou’s small voice carried up to the hanyou. Inuyasha turned scrutinising eyes on the young kitsune, smelling Shippou’s scent for any sign of change such as anxiety, nervousness, an ‘I know something you don’t know’ smell…anything….

“Hey Shippou. Have you seen it?” he asked carefully, stepping close to the younger demon, his eye twitching randomly.

“Eh…” Shippou began warily, stepping back, noting Inuyasha’s eye. “Inuyasha, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Gah, Shippou! I don’t have time! Judging by the sun I’d say its time for…” the hanyou scratched in between his ears in concentration and glanced up at the darkening sky before his eyes widened in horror. “It’s time for ER! Shippou you have to know something!” Inuyasha cried desperately, hauling Shippou up by his tail.

The kitsune began to tremble slightly and hid behind his fingers, glancing out at the hanyou from in between them. “Kagome…Kagome knows everything Inuyasha. You know that as well as I do. Don’t tell her I told you.”

“Ha!” Inuyasha yelled out, promptly dropping Shippou on his head and bounding for the well. “I knew that woman had something to do with it!”

Shippou glanced up through his fingers, still upside down on his head and smirked widely, the exact copy of Kagome’s own evil grin. “Stage 1: Desperation, complete,” Shippou snickered, while turning over and rubbing his head soothingly.

***

Nothing made a Friday night better than a bowl of popcorn, fuzzy bunny slippers and Johnny Depp. Kagome sank contentedly into her favourite chair, snuggling in on herself ready to watch one of her favourite actors.

“And Inuyasha isn’t around!” the girl continued happily, getting ready to press play on the VCR.

Only she never got around to it.

“Kagome!” Inuyasha yelled as he came screeching into the living room, scuffing his toe on the coffee table leg and almost cursing violently. He glared at the coffee table which seemed to grow angry features and ask ‘what the hell did I do? You ran into me baka.’

‘Yeah, but you’re just…there.’ Inuyasha retorted, not realising his imagination was going into overdrive. Perhaps the result of too much late night TV?

‘I was here before you. I don’t need to move for you.’

‘I’ll carve you up into damn firewood if you don’t shut up.’

‘Make me.’

Inuyasha sat down heavily on the coffee table, splintering the object in half much to Kagome’s dismay. He laughed strangely and said “Ha. Take that Coffee Table of Doom!” before he focused on Kagome once more. He noticed the weird look she gave him and he passed it off.

“Yeah, anyway. I know you’re hiding something! Shippou said so, so there! And you know what it is. I want it now!”

“Mou, Inuyasha, stop whining. If you would just tell me what you’re looking for maybe I can help you…” Kagome trailed off as she saw the hanyou’s right index finger moving up and down rapidly, as if it was a habit, as if it was a pressing motion…

“Kagome, do you know what I’m missing right now?” Inuyasha asked softly.

Kagome returned the tone of voice. “Inuyasha, I’m sure you won’t die from it-“

“Kagome, I want that thing.”

“Inuyasha, I don’t know what you’re-“

“Kagome, I’ll ruin your precious Homely Depths collection.”

“Inuyasha, do you mean my Johnny Depp collection?

“Oi, stop saying my name.”

“Well can you stop saying mine?”

“Sayonara Johnny Depp! Sankon-“

“OSUWARI!” Kagome boomed, the house shaking around her, her eyes bulging and a vein ticking in her forehead. The sound of Inuyasha crashing to the floor didn’t even rival the house’s shaking.

“So…” Inuyasha answered, sidling along to the demented girl as much as possible under the gravity spell. “The thingamabob thingy thing?”

“ASK SANGO!” Kagome boomed still, her fists clenching tightly. Inuyasha smiled widely, his eyes screwing up in happiness.

“My life is now so much clearer,” he said giddily, rising once the spell had lifted and once again jumping through the recently repaired window.

Kagome took several deep breaths, willing herself to become calm, at least for the sake of the hanyou. If he kept on like this, Kagome was sure she’d blow the plan herself. But she steeled herself and thought: ‘no Inuyasha needs to be taught a lesson.’ And with that a small whisper in her mind stated: ‘Stage 2: Elation’ before she settled down to get a good dose of Captain Jack Sparrow.

***

Inuyasha all but skipped through his self-named forest, the birds tweeting around his head, cute fluffy bunny rabbits hopping around his feet, the deer and their leader Bambi following him reverently from behind.

Until Inuyasha thought ‘what the hell’ and the Snow White/Cinderella images of ‘your friendly neighbourhood animals’ disappeared. Shaking his head in amusement, Inuyasha lifted his nose to the air and ‘smelled’ out for the taijiya’s scent. She wasn’t very far, perhaps in a hot spring and once again Inuyasha skipped for Sango’s destination, not seeing the animals peeking out from their cover of foliage, ready to follow him again…

Sango relaxed wearily into the hot spring. The battle with Naraku today had been a draining one, but yet the taijiya knew there were more strenuous battles to come. For now Sango took extreme pleasure in the reprieve she was allowed.

While she was simmering lightly in the hot spring she failed to notice Inuyasha, bright red fire rat robe and all, standing opposite her on the far side of the spring. The hanyou grinned wildly, crouching down on all fours, tilting his head to one side.

“Sango! I know you got it and I want it!” he cried happily. Sango all but yelled and tried to cover herself hastily.

“Inuyasha, you hentai! I’d expect this from Miroku!” Sango cried back. It was only then she realised the hanyou’s words and began to watch him suspiciously.

“What do you want Inuyasha?” she whispered, fully aware that she was naked, that he was a demon who wanted ‘it’, and that he wanted her to give ‘it’ to him. Her hand snaked outward for Hiraikotsu, not too far to her right.

Inuyasha’s voice lowered when he spoke, which he took to be a menacing tone of voice. “Sango, don’t keep me waiting. I don’t have time. Just give me what I want so I can get back to Kagome.”

“So why doesn’t Kagome-chan give you what you want?” Sango asked carefully, noticing the deepness of his voice and mistaking it for…huskiness.

“That’s because Kagome won’t give it to me-ack!” Inuyasha was sprawled under Sango’s boomerang, almost struggling to get the weapon off him.

“You hentai! You ecchi! Just because Kagome-chan won’t satisfy your needs, you have the gall to come to me about it?! What do you take me for Inuyasha?! I would never do that to Kagome-chan! Never!”

“But…But-“

“I DON’T CARE!” Sango yelled, loud enough to stir the animals watching the interesting conversation into running away. “Go back to Kagome-chan and apologise for your thoughts and actions. You dirty, dirty dog.”

Inuyasha shrugged out from underneath the boomerang and stood sullenly with his ears plastered to his head in shame and his head bowed.

“Hai,” he muttered grudgingly and tramped back through the forest, the animals making sure to steer well clear of him this time.

Sango waited until she was sure the hanyou was out of earshot before she giggled uncontrollably. Gathering Hiraikotsu and her clothes together she celebrated over the fact that she had successfully achieved ‘Stage 3: Depression’ for the hanyou.

Then her expression darkened and she made a mental note to get Kagome for sending Inuyasha to her while she was bathing. Not even Miroku was around she mused, or so she thought until the monk fell through the bushes onto his face in front of her.

Smack!

Crash!

“HOUSHI-SAMA!!!”< br>
***

The bright purple light from the well outhouse signalled Kagome of Inuyasha’s return – once again. As she counted down the seconds as to when he would burst through her window – yet again – she realised it took him longer than usual. ‘Sango must have been successful in her part of the plan’ Kagome thought.

She looked upon Inuyasha when he entered the living room, his feet shuffling along the floor, head bent, and ears back.

“I’m sorry Kagome,” he muttered, eyes downcast. His bottom lip turned down ever so slightly and he was such a sight to see that Kagome tried not to laugh.

“For what, Inuyasha?” she asked. The hanyou raised his head, mouth open ready to give an answer when he stopped, scratching in between his ears again. His mouth opened and closed several times as he was searching for an answer before his face lit up.

“I don’t actually know,” he stated proudly, with a wide grin and Kagome put a hand to her forehead and sighed.

“Mou Inuyasha, what did you do to Sango-chan? She must have hit you, ne?” She waved a hand in front of Inuyasha’s face and noticed that his eyes didn’t follow her hand but gazed unblinkingly at her face, his stupid grin still there.

“Inuyasha, what’s my name?” Kagome asked hesitantly.

“I don’t actually know,” Inuyasha said again, his smile growing wider. Kagome sweat dropped and made a mental note to tell Sango not to be too violent with that boomerang of hers.

“Ok Inuyasha-“

“Call me Inuyasha-sama!” he said childishly, suddenly, his eyes wide as he got down on all fours and crawled around her feet rapidly, tongue rolling out from his mouth.

Kagome made a face. “No-“

“Call me Inuyasha-sama! Inuyasha-sama! Inuyasha-sama! Inuyasha-sama! Inuy-“

“Alright!” Kagome yelled, rubbing her aching temples at the headache starting to form with the ‘chibi’ Inuyasha. “Alright Inuyasha-sama, lets take a walk, ok?” Inuyasha eyes widened even more if possible.

“Yeah! Yeah! Yeahyeahyeahyeahyeah-“ he cried eagerly, jumping up and down before Kagome stopped him.

“Alright Inuyasha!” Kagome cried, cringing when he barked out ‘sama!’ “Geez just calm down!” When he wouldn’t stop Kagome regretted saying it but unfortunately the time had come – once again. “Inuyasha, osuwari.”

Inuyasha’s backside crash landed to earth and he sat on his haunches like…well a dog. Kagome mused at this new development and reasoned that the incantation didn’t work properly if the recipient wasn’t in the right frame of mind.

Without sparing another thought to that idea, Kagome dragged the tongue lolling, head cocked, ear perked Inuyasha out to the well. Although this was an unexpected step in her plan, hopefully it wouldn’t destroy the overall effect.

“Ok Inuyasha-sama, lets do a trick. If you jump down there and you find a man called Miroku-sama you’ll get…a cup of Ramen! Does that sound good?” Inuyasha panted faster and as the effects of the spell wore off he tried jumping off the ground.

“Ok boy! On the count of three. One, two-“

Inuyasha was already sailing down the well, disappearing in a flash of purple light.

“I never want a dog,” Kagome decided, dusting off her hands and going back into the house. She needed to have everything prepared for when Inuyasha returned (hopefully as his aggressive, rude – normal – self) to make him understand why she made him jump back and forth through time on several occasions and to make him see her point.

Her plan made her smile widely.

***

Miroku sat patiently by the well, trying to look normal although he had a bright red hand print on his face and a large lump on his head. His staff rested in between his stance, his eyes closed (imaging Sango behind his lids) just waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting.

“Ah, Miroku. What you doing here?” Inuyasha said as he climbed out of the well. He had an amazing urge to turn round and try and bite his back – as most dogs are inclined to – but he tamped it down, rubbing his sore backside, which he couldn’t think of how he got and waited for Miroku’s answer.

“Oh I’m just keeping away from Sango. My sweet Sango. It seems that she does not want to be around me for a while.”

“I can only guess at what you did,” Inuyasha said dryly, copying Miroku’s pose as he sat next to him.

“Inuyasha, I am hurt that you could even imply such a thing.”

“I wasn’t implying anything, bouzo. Yet.”

“Never mind that Inuyasha. What brings you here for what has to be the third time today? Surely you cannot be missing our era and your beloved friends that much?”

Inuyasha sighed, his ears flicking momentarily. “I’ve been listening to Kagome lately, because she has – I know she has - that thing that I want. I don’t know what it’s called.” Miroku’s eyebrows almost disappeared within his hair as he laid a hand on the hanyou’s shoulder.

“Inuyasha! Do you need Kagome that badly? Just how young are you for a demon that you do not know its given name?”

“Why do I have the feeling you’re thinking something perverted?”

“That, I am absolutely not doing. Although, Inuyasha, if Kagome will not give her body willingly to you, maybe you should look elsewhere.” Miroku stated calmly, removing his hand when Inuyasha started choking and turning red.

“NANI?! I do NOT need to look elsewhere! I don’t even want that! Anyway, I’m happy with just the one female who can sit my ass in five seconds flat in my life. She’s too much to handle at times.”

“Ah yes. You lack the professionalism of a ‘master playa’ like myself as Kagome-sama would put it. I understand your inability to keep up with two women let alone one. Kikyou-sama and Kagome-sama are perfect examples.”

“Shut up, bouzo!”

“Now, now Inuyasha, you should not let a female’s tricks rile you up so. Doing so leads to pent up frustration and you must take care of it yourself-“

Inuyasha made a screwed up face which was meant to convey his disgust. He looked more like he was scared. Was the monk implying what he thought he was implying? “Miroku really! That’s just…disgusting!”

“For once, I most definitely did not mean it in the way you think. If you had let me finish, I would have said pent up frustration must be taken care of so that it does not lead to anger or depression.” Inuyasha sighed heavily; grateful to not hear what he thought was coming and settled back reluctantly against the well wall.

“So what do you suggest I do?”

“Go back to Kagome-sama-“

“More travelling?”

“Ahem, go back to Kagome-sama and let her know who is the dominant one.”

“Are you sure?”

“Say ‘onna, I’m tired of these games. Just give me what I want and I shall be out of your hair, your beautiful, silken hair-‘“

“Miroku,” Inuyasha growled in warning and the monk instantly straightened, a smile on his face.

“I am merely playing Inuyasha. But no matter. You must show Kagome that you are fed up and tired and just want this – thing – so you can carry on with your life.”

“Yeah I know. ‘Cause gods knows that if I miss ER my life shall not be worth living.”

With that the hanyou stood and vaulted back into the well for what he hoped was the last time that evening. Miroku stood as soon as the purple light dissipated, dusting off his robes. He had successfully laid ‘Stage 4: Frustration’ into action and hoped the hanyou learned his lesson about this ‘television’ so that Kagome wouldn’t get any of them involved in any more half-baked schemes.

The monk then wandered off to find Sango who was currently bent over, her backside shown to him…

***

“Kagome!”

“It seems our loveable puppy is back. Ready Souta?” Kagome asked, winking at her younger brother. The boy yawned loudly and nodded his head sleepily. Kagome wasn’t actually sure whether he wasn’t falling asleep instead. Kagome lengthened her pointer and opened the cover of her flipchart set up on an easel. As predicted within five seconds, Inuyasha stormed into her living room, anger written in his features.

“Kagome! I will not tolerate this anymore! I’ve had enough! Just give me the damn thing and I’ll-“ His eyes focused on the picture on the chart paper and he gave an audible gasp. “THAT! THAT THING! WHERE IS IT?!” he all but yelled.

“Please be seated Inuyasha,” Kagome said calmly and Inuyasha dropped to the floor in a worship stance to the picture he glanced upon. “Inuyasha, in order for you to retain possession of this item you must learn some basic ground rules.”

“Whatever. Like I care.” Kagome rolled her eyes.

“The Three Ultra, Must Never Break, Rules of Television. Number One: Thou Shalt Not Lose This Item.” Kagome thwacked her pointer almost violently onto the picture. Inuyasha cringed slightly at seeing the object of his worship, picture or no, being treated so. And then he began thinking…

“…Uh, Kagome, why are you talking as if there deserves to be capital letters for each word?”

“Silence! Rule Number Two: Thou Shalt Not Blame Others For The Loss Of This Item.” Kagome swung her pointer again. “Page-Turner, Turn The Page Now.” Kagome said, still in ‘capital letter voice mode’. Souta jumped awake and turned the flipchart paper over. On it was a scruffy drawing of Inuyasha, his arms and legs wrapped around Kagome’s TV while Kagome, the rest of her family and even Buyo were seemingly shouting at Inuyasha to let go.

Kagome took a deep breath. “Number Three: Thou Shalt Never HOG THE TELEVISION!!!” Souta jumped out of his upright sleep once again and promptly fell to the floor as exhaustion took over him.

Inuyasha sat unfazed, a bored expression on his face. “…Anyway where is it?” Kagome sighed.

“Inuyasha the REMOTE CONTROL is on your person.”

“Onna don’t lie! How come I haven’t scented it?”

“That’s because it eats, sleeps, drinks, bathes, goes walkies, and scratches its ears with you! It doesn’t leave your right hand which is why your index finger is so twitchy-“ Inuyasha promptly covered his twitchy digit “-and the channel surfing you do everyday with that damn finger makes me ill! Look there it is!”

Inuyasha glanced down and sure enough the little black rectangle sat tucked in between the folds of his haori on his chest, suspended from a thin rope around his neck. His face lit up with indescribable joy and the hanyou promptly plopped down in front of the television set and began flicking between stations almost wildly.

“Where’s ER?”

“It’s finished Inuyasha. Souta just finished watching it. Hopefully you’ve learnt that you never lose the remote control or hog the TV. If you had learnt this earlier we wouldn’t have to have gone through all this.” Kagome grinned victoriously. “Time for bed Inuyasha.”

“So you made me jump back and forth between times and made me miss my favourite show? Maybe I should kick your ass out of your own bed and teach you a lesson. ‘Thou Shalt Never Mess With A Hanyou And His ER’. Onna, are you CRAZY?!”


***