InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Whispered Dreams ❯ Milord's Secret ( Chapter 12 )

[A/N]

Yume: You all must have forgotten what was going on with this fic. I'm so sorry that I make everyone wait like this, truly I am…

CF: Recap!

In the last chapter, Sesshomaru tried to test out the Tenseiga on Kagome, in hopes of bringing his best friend come back to life. He was broken and disappointed when he failed, and it was then that he realizes that he is in love with Kagome. In his own revelation, and guilt, he avoids Kagome for a while, leaving the poor ghost of a girl confused as to if the demon lord was angry with her, or if he's having thoughts about leaving her all alone again. However, in the midst of her sadness, Inuyasha stumbles upon her shrine, and the two meet for the first time…

[Disclaimer]: This Halloween, most definitely no one will give me the rights to Inuyasha in my candy bag…But I'll settle for a Twix bar! ^_^

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Whispered Dreams

By: Youkai Yume

Chapter 12: Milord's Secret

The silken cloth fell over his flawless white skin like liquid as he dressed with the utmost grace, the most languid of movements. His actions were precise, almost mechanical in feeling as he clasped next his armor, then tied his sash. Sesshomaru looked in the mirror. The image of an emotionless demon lord stared back at him, perfect in his cold and immaculate façade of impassiveness.

And yet, the golden eyes that reflected within the mirror shown with a quiet sadness, a weariness that plagued his troubled mind. It spoke of many nights of restless sleep, of haunted dreams. Sesshomaru mentally scowled at his own image. In his eyes, he did not see perfection. Only flaws.

If he was truly the epitome of a perfect being, then how could it have been that he fell so far? If he was always right, then how could he have been so wrong? He had been too careless, too overconfident in his abilities…and in the end it had cost him so much more than he could pay.

For the past week or two, the demon lord had purposefully avoided going to see Kagome. He busied himself with his work and duties in hopes of taking his mind off of her, of the guilt that was constantly gnawing at him. Sesshomaru didn't feel like he could face her now, especially after he swore he could bring her back to life. But that wasn't the only reason, it was also because…because he finally realized why he had tried so hard to fulfill an impossible wish.

'I love Kagome.'

But alas, he knew that it was a love that was fated to never be…And yet, knowing that fact did not erase his constant yearning for his sweet Kagome. It only served to make the aching in his chest grow worse, his longing and love for her to intensify rather than fade away. He couldn't bear to see her, for he knew it would only make him fall deeper in love. The bottom line was it hurt too much to be around her. To be so close to the one thing you desired more than anything else and not be able to have it. It was pure torture. And so, he did the only thing that was plausible…he stayed away from her.

'It didn't work, did it?' Sesshomaru looked away from his reflection, growling at himself. To be with her was painful, but to be away from her made him yearn and ache for her even more…he missed her orchid and vanilla scent, her melodic voice and warm smile. But he wasn't the only one suffering.

His chest clenched when he recalled the mournful song that permeated the Western forces for the past couple of nights. Kagome's song. The demon lord hated himself even more, knowing that he was the cause of her pain, that she was singing her sad melody because of him. Sesshomaru looked once more, though somewhat begrudgingly, into the face of the monster that he sees only in himself.

Kagome would forgive him, he knew she would. Kagome would always forgive him, accept him…be there for him, and all she asked in return was for his company, and he could not even grant her that one simple wish. If that was truly the case, then he didn't deserve her. His hands clenched at his sides. He couldn't bear to look at that cold mask of indifference, of flawed perfection any longer.

The anger began to boil within him, anger for his own self. Raising a fist, he threw it at the mirror, his hand connecting with the offending object. The shattering sound of glass resonated throughout the room, the pieces falling in broken pieces on the floor. Sesshomaru stared impassively down at the mess he had made, his eyes roving over the shards of glass that lay scattered at his feet. Much like the state of his own heart at the moment.

It wasn't until he felt something-warm trickle down his fingers that he realized he was bleeding. Sesshomaru lifted a hand, examining the cut that had been made on his knuckles in the midst of his little outburst. He felt no pain from the wound…and even if he could, he was sure it couldn't be as painful as the feeling in his chest.

"Sesshomaru-sama?" The shoji screen door slid open, and a green head popped into the room, "Forgive me, milord, but the other lords are…" Jaken's large yellow eyes widened when he saw the broken mirror on the floor, and then at his master's slightly bloodied hand. "Sesshomaru-sama! What has happened?!" HE squeaked, running into the room and looking frantically around. "Did something attack you?"

The demon lord did not respond. He looked coldly at his vassal before he gracefully started to exit the room.

"Clean up this mess," Lord Sesshomaru ordered, "I shall attend the meeting shortly."

The door slid shut, leaving Jaken alone in his chambers to ponder about what had transpired. Sesshomaru's footsteps resounded softly throughout the hallways, and he mentally sighed. 'The other lords…' In his distress about Kagome, he had momentarily forgotten that he had an important conference with the other demon lords-one that he had been putting off for a long while now. He had been dreading it for weeks, but alas, he knew he could not avoid it.

He would have to push his thoughts of the ghost of a girl aside for now, his duty, as a Taiyoukai demanded it. It was also one of the other reasons why he hated his position of aristocracy. But, regrettably, however much he hated it; he was bound to it. And thus, he had to live with it.

Finally, his feet led him to the screen door of the main room. His acute youkai senses caught the murmured speech of the other lords beyond the screen, and with a deep breath, he slid it open. Making sure his cold mask of indifference was on, he entered the room with dignified grace. It was just one more day in which he played his role, one more day in which he carried out his duty and expectations like that of an experienced actor.

Just one more day he spent alone.

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It was a quite a breezy day, he noted, as he jumped from treetop to treetop. The afternoon sun gleamed off of his unkempt silver hair, and reflected some unknown emotion off of his amber depths-as if he seemed calmer, at peace, perhaps even happier about something.

Inuyasha paused, staring at the burnt stairs that were before him. Looking up, he his ears twitched slightly as he listened for any sign of HER. The ghostly maiden that resided in the shrine that sat atop the hill…at the end of these stairs. Almost excitedly, he ran up the steps with graceful youkai speed.

He wasn't sure why he kept coming back here, why he was constantly drawn to this shrine…All he knew was that he felt compelled to, and that he WANTED to. Or rather, it wasn't the shrine that intrigued him. He could care less about old, deteriorating buildings. No, it was Kagome.

The hanyou remembered the first time he had ever laid eyes on the girl. He had been completely and utterly taken by surprise. He had been so taken aback by the fact that she looked like Kikyo, yet so unlike Kikyo that he had almost overlooked the factor that she was transparent.

Inuyasha had vaguely wondered if he should have been afraid of a ghost, but it seemed that she was more afraid of him than he was of her. But before he could even learn of her name, she had faded from sight, hiding from him. He knew he should have left well enough alone and leave the shrine then and there, never to return or even fathom the strange spirit's existence.

Somehow, the hanyou had found it extremely difficult NOT to do so. Inuyasha had forgotten all about why he came out here to the West in the first place. He had forgotten about his brother, and he had forgotten about the Tenseiga. He was completely immersed in this strange girl, though he didn't understand why.

She sang the next night as well. Inuyasha went back to the shrine in hopes of seeing her. Of course, she made careful precautions not to let herself be seen. Still, Inuyasha could vaguely sense her presence, and her vanilla and orchid scent was unmistakable. It was obvious she didn't want to reveal herself…still, he persisted. Coming night after night, and refusing to leave until she came out.

At times, he became widely bored out of his mind, but he knew he was making progress. He could feel her eyes watching him, smell her when she was near, and see her as she flickered through the rooms of the shrine.

His stubbornness finally paid off one night. Inuyasha had been close to falling asleep after a long night of waiting, contemplating forgetting about the whole thing and just go to Sesshomaru and discuss what he had been wanting to find out in the first place before he got…side-tracked. Yawning, he rubbed his eyes a bit before he noticed that a shrouded figure was next to him.

Flashback

The girl was sitting right beside him, looking into the dark woods with a calm expression on her face. This time, she showed no signs of running away from him. All the while, all the hanyou could do was gape like a fish. The had found it quite funny then.

"You're not going to leave me alone are you?" She had asked him, her sweet voice softly tickling his ears. Inuyasha had scoffed at her, his air of haughtiness returning.

"Feh. Now you're catching on."

She smiled at him, a simple gesture that told him that she didn't quite mind anymore, but was still very curious.

"Why?"

"I don't know why," Inuyasha admitted to her. "Maybe it's because you ignore me. I don't like being ignored," He cocked a smile at her, "And I've been told that I'm very stubborn."

Her sapphire eyes-the one that he found so hard to forget, lit up with amusement.

"Aren't you afraid of me?"

"Feh," He scoffed, "There are waaaay scarier things than YOU around here."

"That's good to hear," the ghost of a girl giggled, the expression strange to Inuyasha, for the only time he had ever seen the girl, she was always in a depressed state. He found himself, almost intrigued at the way her cheeks flushed against her pale complexion.

"You…remind me of someone, you know that?" He told her. She looked at him with an interested expression. "Except…you're much more…" Realizing he was beginning to think aloud, he turned away, slightly embarrassed.

"…You remind me of someone too," She said, eyeing his silver hair. Inuyasha's ears perked up.

"Really? Who?"

The ghost paused for a long while, biting her lower lip and twisting her translucent hands in her lap. He saw uncertainty cross her blue eyes, as if she hesitated to answer.

"I…can't tell you. I shouldn't even be speaking to you."

"Why not?" Inuyasha inquired.

"Because…I am milord's secret."

He stared at her, a look of pure confusion on his face. He had no idea what she was trying to say, or what she was implying. Inuyasha was about to open his mouth to reply, but it was promptly snapped shut when the girl turned to him with a pained look on her face.

"Onegai, can we please not talk about it?"

Wavered by her pleading voice, he decided to let it go and change the subject.

"So are you really dead? A ghost?" He asked bluntly. The girl glared at him, muttering under her breath about his insensitivity, which he ignored all the same. Still, she found it in herself to answer. She nodded. "How?"

"Not really sure. All I know is that I'm just sort of…stuck here."

"For how long?"

"…I don't know. A long time I guess. But I lost all track of time."

Inuyasha felt sympathy wash over himself. In a way, he knew what it was like to be alone, even though he was surrounded by people his entire life. In a way, he always felt like he was alone. Perhaps it was the curse of being a hanyou, that he was unaccepted by both sides. Not by his own brother, and sometimes, not even by Kikyo.

"Don't you ever get lonely?"

The ghost giggled, recalling a memory in which someone else asked her the same question.

"Not always," she said slowly, "Milord sometimes comes to visit me." A wistful, yet longing look shadowed her irises when she spoke, and he assumed that it was over this 'milord' she keeps talking about.

Inuyasha narrowed his eyes, his ears twitching in thought. He vaguely remembered the fact that his brother's scent lingered somewhat around here, and had a sneaking suspicion about it, but he wasn't sure. Sesshomaru could have just passed through here, he knew from childhood that his brother often went out to patrol his lands. He thought for a moment about asking her, but he had a feeling she wouldn't tell him either way. Sighing, he decided to drop the subject.

"One more question."

"Will you leave me alone here if I answer?" She asked. Inuyasha shrugged.

"Probably not."

(sigh) "I thought not. Go ahead, ask me."

"What's your name?"

The girl stood up from her seat, a small smile on her lips.

"Kagome Higurashi," She answered. "But I should be asking you that. This is my home. You're the one trespassing."

"True," Inuyasha agreed, scratching his silver hair and stood up beside her. "My name's Inuyasha," He held out his hand for her to shake, then drew back in embarrassment when he remembered that such a gesture was useless. "Sorry," he mumbled. "But yeah, Inuyasha. No last name…Actually, I have one, but I don't much use it seeing as I sort of ran away…"

All of his words seemed to be lost to Kagome, as she stared back with wide sapphire eyes. Her blue depths reflected surprise and disbelief.

"Y-You're Inuyasha?!"

He stopped with his rambling.

"Uh, yeah, who else would I be?" To his shock he saw something akin to wonder shining in her eyes, and her smile broadened. "What?" He growled, irritated at her mood shifts.

"I'm sorry, it's just. I'm so glad that I finally get to meet you."

End Flashback

To say that Inuyasha had been thoroughly confused that day was an understatement. But he figured that it was just part of being an eccentric, mysterious ghost. It had been close to a week since he first discovered her, and he had come back to visit her as many times as he could ever since. Kagome was rather shy at first, but he soon found out that it was quite easy making friends with her.

He wondered vaguely if he was missed back in Ookami village-or rather, if Kikyo noticed that he wasn't around more often. Sure, he saw her occasionally, but for some reason, he found her presence uncomfortable as of late. It wasn't because he disliked her, he still cared deeply for Kikyo, but he just didn't feel at peace with her as he used to. Not like how he feels with Kagome.

The hanyou felt guilty for this, but he couldn't help himself. He convinced himself that maybe this was something that he was going through because Kikyo had been pressuring him lately. But surely, he couldn't be getting attached to Kagome yet. Especially since well, he had only known her for a little while and he couldn't find it within himself to believe he enjoyed the company of a ghost over someone who was living.

Inuyasha reached the top of the stairs, amber eyes scanning the area. Of course, it seemed like any other deserted shrine.

"Kagome!" He called out. "It's me, Inuyasha!"

Instantly, her misty figure manifested before him.

"Oh, hello, Inuyasha," She greeted half-heartedly, a strained smile on her face. He cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Now don't be TOO happy to see me," He mumbled sarcastically.

"I'm sorry, it's just that I was expecting…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know," He groaned, waving the matter aside. "Sorry to disappoint you. But I'm not…whoever it is that you're waiting for."

Her frame dimmed with apology and she bowed her head. Then she smiled brightly at him and gestured for him to come with her.

"There's something that I want to show you," Kagome said excitedly. Curious, he trailed behind her like a loyal puppy, watching as the apparition of a girl led him behind the shrine where a clearing full of flowers was. There was a sakura tree in the middle, it's trunk strong, and its' branches seemed to reach all the way to heaven.

Inuyasha suspected that this was the object of Kagome's delight, for she disappeared from his side and reappeared under its' cool shade. She placed a transparent hand on the bark, a fond look on her face. He soon joined her under the tree's canopy.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Kagome cooed; looking up at the falling petals that danced around her like snowflakes. Inuyasha shrugged, crossing his arms and looked at the tree with mild interest.

"Well, sure, but it's not that great. It's just a cherry blossom tree. They're loads of them in bloom back in my village," He answered, leaning against the trunk. "Some of them are even bigger and prettier than this one."

Kagome sighed, and shook her head.

"Oh, but Inuyasha, that's not why I adore it so much. It's because…I've been here for a long time, and I do mean, a very long time. In all of my years I have never seen this tree bloom with cherry blossoms, not even a single bud!" She explained. A sakura petal fluttered in between them, and Kagome outstretched her hands, as if to catch it. Of course, it passed right through her delicate fingers, but still she smiled wistfully at it. "I guess it's silly of me to get so worked up over something so trivial," Kagome continued softly. "But…it's sort of a big deal to me. I wanted to share it with someone. I didn't expect for YOU to understand though."

Inuyasha stared at her intently, a guilt creeping upon him. He knew he shouldn't have dismissed her fascination with the tree so easily. Not after listening to her speak of it so dearly, as if it were a miracle worked by god himself, and perhaps it was. It only served to remind him that she only longed for the simple pleasures in life-things in which he sorely took for granted, such as the blooming of a flower, the song of a bird, the breath of fresh air.

Things that Kagome had the very scarce fortune of experiencing. Inuyasha sighed and sat down with a plop on the grass, scratching his head. Beside him, Kagome did the same, though she did not land with a 'plop.' They began to talk about various things; he, his life back in Ookami village and Kikyo (in which Kagome constantly teased him for) and her, random stories about her life and folktales she heard growing up. They seldom talked about the causes of her death, since he felt it was a touchy subject, but surprisingly she had told him about it too. 'I guess she accepted it…'

Of course, the one thing that bothered the hanyou was that she never mentioned of this, 'milord' fellow again. Nowhere in her stories did she ever mention someone being here with her, or even hinted that she had another friend that he didn't know about. All he had to go on was the memory of her telling him that she was "milord's secret." She claimed that he visited her, and yet he had yet to see anyone visit the shrine besides himself. Inuyasha was beginning to doubt this person even existed.

His thoughts were interrupted when a loud grumbling noise permeated the air. Kagome looked curiously at him, and the hanyou blushed a deep red when he realized that the noise came from his own stomach.

"Oops, guess it's getting pass lunch time."

Kagome chuckled, as he reached into his hoari and pulled out an apple. He didn't want to go hunt for something and then eat it in front of Kagome, for he was sure she wouldn't like the sight of him eating a dead animal too much. Fruits for him these days. Just as he was about to take a huge bite out of it, a loud "ahem" stopped him. He glanced over to one annoyed ghost.

"What?"

"OH, just rub it in my face will you?" She admonished, crossing her arms. Inuyasha blinked confusedly at her.

"Huh?"

"Just because I can't eat doesn't mean you should remind me about it!" She pointed at the red apple, and amber eyes narrowed at the absurdity of it all.

"You're overreacting. I'm hungry, what do you want me to do?"

"Oh! Look at me! I can EAT and CHEW and TASTE and I'll just eat it right in front of Kagome because she CAN'T!" She raised her voice, a hint of playfulness sparkling in her sapphire orbs.

"I can crap too, but you don't see me showing it off!" He shot back, knowing full well that she was only joking but decided to run along with it nonetheless.

"How crude! Not in the presence of a lady!"

"What lady?"

"Inuyasha!"

He grinned evilly at her and opened his mouth wide, biting into the apple just to spite her. She stared open-mouthed at him.

"Mmmm, now that's an apple! Nice, and JUICY, and just the way I like em'! CRUNCHY!" He chewed with his mouth open at her so he could emphasize the crunchy part. Kagome had a look of disgust on her face before it cracked into a smile, then giggle. Before long, she was outright laughing, clutching her sides hysterically.

Inuyasha swallowed before he too, joined in a loud guffaw. He found himself, feeling lot lighter in this one moment, laughing with Kagome over something randomly stupid. It was something that he had never experienced with Kikyo, who he couldn't get to crack a joke even if his life depended on it.

That was another thing he noticed about Kagome. He could loosen up when he was around her, whereas Kikyo was so uptight and serious, that he sometimes got the feeling she thought of him as a child. As their laughter died down, Inuyasha wiped a tear from his eye. Glancing down at his apple, he threw it over his shoulder, much to Kagome's surprise.

"I laughed too hard. My stomach hurts now, I can't eat…I hope you're satisfied."

"Very," Kagome smiled, then turned back to look at the sky, watching lazily as the clouds drifted across an endless blue. "Inuyasha?"

"Hmm?"

"Don't take this the wrong way. I like your company and all, but…"

He gazed at her, amber eyes boring into her own sapphire ones.

"You come here an awful lot. Doesn't anyone back home miss you?" She inquired, drawing her knees up to her chin.

"Nah, not really. Besides, I like coming here. Can't I spend time with a friend?" His eyes widened when he realized he let the 'friend' part slip, and he looked away, a scowl on his face. "I mean-I didn't…you know what I mean!" He huffed.

"…We're…friends then?"

"…Yeah, more or less…" Inuyasha mumbled, turning to her. He looked up at the afternoon sun, and sighed, remembering something. "Sorry, Kagome," He started, standing up. "I have to go, I promised Kikyo today that I'd help her take down this demon that has been destroying some of the rice fields in the village."

"Oh, I see," She nodded, then smirked. "A date with Kikyo…"

"It's not like that!" He growled, blushing. Kagome giggled, smiling at him innocently. Inuyasha sighed. "Listen, I'll come back tonight, okay?"

Kagome frowned at this, a worried look creasing her brow.

"Tonight?"

"Yeah, the fireflies are coming out tonight."

"Isn't it a full moon?" She asked, uncertain.

"Hmmm, I think so," Inuyasha tilted his head to the side, "Why?"

The ghost of a girl stood up, looking at him intently.

"I'm sorry, you can't come tonight," her voice was soft, yet dead serious. Inuyasha was confused by this.

"Huh? Why not? What happens tonight?"

"…Nothing, you just can't, okay?" Kagome pressed, biting her lower lip and casting her eyes to the ground. But this wasn't a good enough explanation for him. He was slightly hurt that she didn't want to see him, but at the same time intrigued at what she was trying to hide. He took a step forward.

"No."

She looked up at him, surprised that he had such a solemn look on his features.

"I'm not leaving until you give me a good reason why I should."

"You're being unreasonable!" Kagome whined. "This is my home, I'm entitled to kick you out of it if I wanted to!"

"What are you going to do? Pass through me? Oooh, I'm so scared!"

She pouted at him, her body dimming with hesitation until finally she let out a heavy sigh.

"You can't come tonight because HE will be here," Kagome said softly, wringing her hands in nervousness.

"He? You mean this 'milord' fellow?" Inuyasha growled.

"Yes," She answered unwaveringly. The hanyou scoffed.

"He hasn't visited any other night, what makes you think he'll come tonight?" He spat, crossing his arms; the tone of arrogance was back in his voice. "I'm beginning to wonder if he even cares about you at all! He's probably forgotten you by now."

When he turned back to Kagome, he saw that her entire frame was trembling with fury. She looked up at him with sapphire eyes that glittered with anger, and he had a feeling that had she the ability to slap him, she would have.

"How dare you?!" She breathed, "You don't know anything about him, so don't you dare speak that way about him ever!" She yelled, her cheeks flushed red. Inuyasha stepped back, feeling a bit guilty when he saw her eyes almost brimming with tears. This person…must be very special to her if she was so defensive about him.

"Kagome-"

"Milord will come to see me tonight," She whispered, "It's the full moon…I know he will come…" Kagome said this so quietly that he had the feeling she was saying it more to herself than to him. Inuyasha's amber eyes softened, and he bowed his head down.

An uneasy feeling filled him. It was mixed with anger, uncertainty, and almost like betrayal. It felt strangely like…jealousy. But he knew that couldn't be it. After all, how could be jealous of someone he had never met? And over Kagome? Everything was beginning to be very confusing for him. The hanyou turned from the ghost and began to make his way into the forest, leaving her alone under the cherry blossom tree to wait for her precious lord.

"Whatever you say," He ushered bitterly to the wind, so that Kagome could hear.

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Sesshomaru sat in a state of complete and total boredom, clicking imaginary dust off of his table as the dull droning of the other lord's words drowned in his ears. He truly hated these so-called meetings. All of the things talked about or discussed was purely mindless. Sometimes, the demon lord wondered if they called a conference every month simply to pass the time.

He glanced at the other lords around the table with indifferent golden eyes. To his right sat the wolf youkai, Koga, who was the demon lord of the Eastern Lands. The wolf prince, he had to admit was rather crude and less refined for a Taiyoukai, but he still was a formidable ally to have. His speed was unmatched by any other he had seen thus far.

Kurogane, a kitsune, was sitting on his left. He was the demon lord of the South, one of the more easy-going and amiable of the taiyoukais. Though, Sesshomaru knew that Kurogane possessed a fiery temper that matched his red hair. Kurogane had also taken with him his son, Shippo, to the conference. The little kitsune was playing with Rin outside in the gardens.

Across from him sat Naraku, demon lord of the Northern lands. Unlike the others, which Sesshomaru could always easily read, Naraku was much more mysterious, and elusive to understand. He was never sure if he could truly trust him, for behind those crimson eyes, Sesshomaru knew that Naraku was constantly scheming, watching, waiting. He was a manipulator, a puppeteer who enjoyed controlling and exploiting others. He was a master at the game. Whatever it was that made him uneasy about Naraku, he just knew he didn't like him very much.

He went out of his reverie and tuned into what they were talking about. To his mild surprise, he was the topic of their discussion.

"Honestly, how long are you going to stay alone, Sesshomaru-sama?" Koga asked, pointing a teasing finger at him. Sesshomaru quirked an eyebrow.

"I beg your pardon?" He said smoothly, causing the wolf prince to throw his hands in the air exasperatedly.

"Look at that, he wasn't even listening!"

"We were discussing, Sesshomaru-sama, the question as to whether or not you plan on taking a mate soon," Kurogane clarified, taking a sip of his warm tea and watching him intently. "We have sent you documents concerning the matter many times before, but you don't seem to be answering to any of them."

Sesshomaru's brow creased, and his lips thinned. He didn't see the importance of this subject so much, and yet it had been they have been pressuring him a great deal over the matter for quite some time now. No doubt, over political reasons, he was sure.

"Whether I do or don't is no concern of yours," He answered icily. "I shall take a mate when I am ready."

"Keh! As if!" Koga scoffed, waving his words aside, "As much as I hate to admit it, females flock to you in swarms, and yet you haven't even as much as looked at a woman since…well, I don't think you've EVER looked at a woman before! One would think that you didn't fancy them…" The wolf prince sent him an amusing look, his blue eyes mocking him from across the table. The other demon lords laughed.

"Now, there is nothing wrong with that," Naraku cooed, a smirk upon his lips, "I myself find the notion quite…intriguing." Kurogane and Koga exchanged uneasy glances towards the dark demon, and gave a weak chuckle.

"I don't see the importance of having one," Sesshomaru said coolly, glaring at the others, "Besides, Naraku does not possess a mate, why do you not goad him about it?"

Naraku smiled darkly.

"Ah, but I have concubines and mistresses," He said with an air of egotism.

"So do I," Sesshomaru shot back.

"But you don't even use them," Naraku chuckled, "What's the use of having them if you don't even so much as look at them? Are they not good enough for the great Sesshomaru-sama?"

He growled at this.

"I do not constantly think with my other head, so I do not have a need to indulge in such carnal pleasures with anything that looks remotely like the female species," Sesshomaru answered dispassionately. "I, unlike you, take the mating ritual seriously."

Naraku studied him closely for a long while, his crimson eyes calculating Sesshomaru's silver form. He was obviously somewhat surprised at his little outburst.

"I see…you don't wish to follow in the footsteps of your father."

Sesshomaru growled dangerously at this, his golden eyes flashed with warning.

"Now, now," Kurogane stepped in before anything could happen. "Let's not pressure this on Sesshomaru-sama. After all, he isn't the only one here without a mate. What about Koga-sama?"

For some reason, Koga stiffened at this, and he blushed a furious red, looking down at the table. Naraku let out a laugh at this, causing Sesshomaru to tilt his head slightly.

"Koga-sama, why do you not defend yourself? You know it to be false…"

"False?" Sesshomaru inquired.

"Ah, it's true, Sesshomaru-sama," Naraku pressed, his crimson eyes lit up in amusement, "Didn't you hear? Koga-sama is engaged to be married to Ayame, the princess of another wolf tribe."

The demon lord laid eyes on the wolf prince, who was grumbling under his breath. He smirked inwardly. So, it must be true.

"Hn, I was not aware of this."

"Oh yes! I have seen her once upon my travels. I must admit, she is rather cute with those pigtails…"Kurogane mused, scratching his chin.

"SHUT UP!" Koga breathed, his face redder than ever from their constant teasing. "It wasn't my choice, okay?"

"Then you should know how I feel about the matter," Sesshomaru said coldly. Koga regained his composure, staring at the silver demon lord and sighed, hating to admit defeat. He looked away, and let out an annoyed "keh."

The kitsune sighed in relief, taking a big gulp of his tea.

"Then I assume that when you do take in a mate, it will be for…love?"

Sesshomaru didn't answer this, thoughts swarming his head, and the familiar aching scratched at his chest. 'Love?' He thought with a sarcastic smile, 'I can't have the one I love. It cannot be done…' An image came to his mind, that of Kagome sitting by a lake. In her arms, she cradled a hanyou child, its' blood was that of hers and himself, whispering sweet comforts to lull the pup to sleep. And she would look up, sapphire eyes shining with love and tenderness…tenderness for him. But it was a distorted illusion, a dream that would remain a dream.

"Love?" He scoffed, "I'm afraid that wouldn't be possible for this Sesshomaru."

It grew silent after a while, all of the demon lords sense Sesshomaru's sudden aura of negativity, and said nothing. That is, until Naraku spoke up.

"If that is indeed the case, Lord Sesshoamru, then might I suggest an arranged marriage?" He asked. Sesshomaru did not look up to acknowledge him, yet he still went on. "For political gains and financial securities? It would be beneficial to us both."

"Us?" Sesshomaru shot him a suspicious look, in which Naraku only returned with a sickeningly innocent smile.

"Yes, I was thinking…my daughter, Kagura, is sufficient of age, and I feel that if you take her in as a mate our alliance can be strengthened. Of course, we could discuss this further if you should agree."

"Daughter?" Kurogane scratched his head, "I thought you didn't have a mate."

"She was probably conceived by one of his mistresses," Koga added. "Heard she's quite the handful though. Having trouble with her, Naraku? Want to get rid of her?"

"Yes, well, Kagura can be…difficult to say the least, but she is better than nothing," Naraku glanced over at Sesshomaru, an insistent look on his face. "So what do you say, Lord Sesshomaru?"

The demon lord said nothing, golden eyes narrowed in dissatisfaction and thought. He turned away from the other demon lords for a moment to look out his window, where the sky was now turning dark, and the faint stars began to glimmer like diamonds in the sky. And through the hazy clouds, he gazed longingly at the full moon, beautiful, yet unreachable in all of its splendor.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^

He hadn't realized how much he missed the fresh night air until he took in a deep breath. His pace was very brisk, almost rushed as he made his way through the forest, anticipating seeing the familiar shrine steps, and the maiden that awaited him.

After that suffocating meeting, Sesshomaru knew that he had to see Kagome again. That talk about taking in a mate had made him think deeply about what the future held for him, his choices, and his relationship with Kagome. He realized then that with the way that he had been avoiding her, he might not have much of a relationship left with her, and no matter how much it pained him to see her, and yet not be able to have her, he could not afford losing her friendship. For surely then, he would have nothing left.

And of course, Sesshomaru could not forget the fact that tonight was the night of a full moon, and if he hadn't come to visit Kagome tonight of all nights, then he would never forgive himself. However, when he finally reached the shrine, he found to his plummeting disappointment, there was no one at the front entrance.

Kagome was not waiting for him.

Sesshomaru felt a haunting emptiness, and his breath hitched in his throat, causing momentary panic to fill him. What if, while he was gone, something happened to the ghost? Or, what if someone who had happened upon her while she was back to living flesh, took her away? Scenarios ran through his head, as he looked frantically inside the shrine, calling out her name, searching for any sign of his beloved.

He finally calmed down however, when her vanilla orchid scent caressed his being, carried by the wind, and drawing him to the back of the shrine. What met his eyes brought a content smile to his lips.

Kagome stood under a familiar tree, one that until now, he had never blooming with sakura blossoms before. The branches swayed, the petals fluttered to the ground and danced around her, and he couldn't help but stand there for a moment and admire the way she looked in the moonlight. He noticed, with rising happiness, that she was wearing the kimono that he had given her the last full moon.

As if sensing his presence, the girl turned around to face him, and to his extreme guilt he saw vague traces of tears on her features. Nonetheless, a beautiful smile touched her lips, and she ushered his name to the wind.

"Sesshomaru…"

With youkai speed, he ran to her, who had her arms spread out wide, welcoming him with a tender embrace. Sesshomaru wasted no time in accepting it, enveloping Kagome in a fierce hug and reveling in the warmth of her body, the perfect fit she made in his arms.

Without his knowing it, his tail wrapped around her small frame as well, but she didn't seem to mind. He let out a deep sigh of contentment, holding her closer when he felt her bury her face in the crook of his neck. He murmured her name softly and stroked her silky raven hair, as she did the same with his silver tresses.

He stiffened when he felt her tears on his skin, the hotness of them almost burning him. He parted from her slightly, gazing at her intently with concerned eyes.

"What's wrong, Kagome?" He whispered.

"I…I was afraid that you wouldn't come tonight," She admitted, her voice laced in relief and at the same time deep sadness. But what really brought the complete veil of guilt to fall upon Sesshomaru was when he looked into her eyes. Eyes that spoke of endless loneliness and sorrow.

He understood what she meant by that one statement, all that she wanted to say, but kept hidden in her soul. She hadn't just been afraid of him not coming tonight, but every night. That he had truly forgotten her and would leave her behind like a forgotten memory. She was afraid that he didn't care for her anymore. 'Oh, my Kagome,' he thought with a yearning voice, 'if only you knew.'

Sesshomaru immediately felt like a monster for making her suffer so much. How he had been selfish about protecting his own feelings, and in return, he had disregarded hers. He brought a hand to her face and wiped away a tear gently. She stared at him with completely trusting eyes. Sesshomaru knew he could drown in those sapphire pools forever…

"I will always come back to you, Kagome," he whispered, kissing her brow instinctively and held her close. "I'm sorry for making you doubt that." She shook her head.

"I forgive you."

'Of course she will,' an admonishing voice echoed, 'She will always forgive you.'

"I am sorry for ever doubting you in the first place."

"I…"

"It's okay, whatever your reason, I am just glad that you are here with me now," Kagome said truthfully, snuggling into his tail. Sesshomaru sighed. It was the very nature of Kagome, to forgive and accept him whole-heartedly. Without a second thought, despite what he had done, no matter how much he had pained her, she would always welcome him with open arms.

"I won't leave you again," He promised, to her and himself. She giggled, wiping away the remainder of her tears.

"It's okay, you have to leave sometime right?" She joked, returning to her usual cheery self. "But I'm so happy you came tonight! Look!" She pointed above her, towards the branches of the tree brimming with sakura flowers. "It bloomed, Sessho-kun!"

"So it has," He smiled at her, "It's beautiful." 'But not as beautiful as you,' he added secretly to himself. Kagome grinned brightly at him, taking his clawed hands into her own small ones and lead him underneath its' canopy. She sat down at the base of the trunk, and Sesshomaru followed suit.

"Maybe it's a sign of good fortune," She suggested, giggling at the idea, "Rin would have loved it. Why didn't you bring her?"

'Because I want you all to myself tonight.'

"She is tired, and retired to bed early," Sesshomaru lied, dismissing the picture of a whining Rin when he told her she couldn't go earlier that day.

"Oh, well that's too bad. Perhaps some other time," Kagome said wistfully.

"Perhaps."

The two stayed silent for a while, just enjoying the other's company, letting the simple pleasure of being near one another comfort them. But sadly, it couldn't last forever, as Sesshomaru found himself thinking of the events that had transpired earlier.

"The other lords came in for a conference earlier today," He began suddenly. He could feel Kagome's eyes resting upon him, but he did not turn to look at her. "They want me to take in a mate."

As expected, Kagome didn't seem to like the news. From the corner of his eye, he saw her stiffen slightly, and an unknown look crossed her eyes before she eased up again.

"They've been saying that for years," Kagome said softly.

"Yes, but they really mean it this time," Sesshomaru said slowly, "Naraku even offered to have an arranged marriage between myself and his daughter, Kagura."

Kagome seemed to be at a loss of words. He could sense her uneasiness by the fact that she was nibbling on her lower lip. He didn't want to tell her, but he felt like he couldn't hide anything from her anymore. Finally, she turned to look at him, her face was masked in a fake, cheery façade, and her smile was strained.

"I see. Well, I guess this is good news," Kagome said in a rather wavering voice. "I mean, you shouldn't be alone forever, and everyone should know what it's like to be in love. Besides, he wouldn't have suggested this Kagura girl if she was ugly, so surely she must be pretty, and…" Kagome was beginning to ramble, and Sesshomaru could see her mask crumbling with each word. However, he found himself rather hurt that she seemed so chittery over the subject.

"Kagome," He called out to her, causing her to stop completely, "Do you really want me to acquire a mate as well?" His voice was calm and cool, but underneath his stoic expression, he waited with baited breath for the answer. She cast her eyes sadly to the ground, a slight blush on her cheeks.

"I…I admit that I am…a selfish person. But, I cannot keep you here to myself," Kagome said in an almost hushed voice. "But I want you to be happy, and I don't want you to feel like you should hold back because of me. One of us should live…" Sesshomaru felt rising warmth with each word that passed Kagome's lips. She would put his happiness above all else…could it be that she felt the same way too?

Before she could continue, Sesshomaru brought a slender finger to her lips to silence her.

"I didn't accept," He said seriously, locking his golden eyes to her soft, sapphire ones. She gasped beneath his fingertip.

"…Why?"

'Because they're not you.' It was what he wanted to say to her, to tell her, but he knew he couldn't. If there had ever been a chance, he would have readily taken her in as his mate, to claim her in every way a man could claim a woman. He sighed and cupped her face, brushing her bangs aside with a sweet gentleness that Kagome couldn't help noticing before his hand returned to his side.

"I'm not ready to settle down yet," was his answer instead. It seemed to be an acceptable answer to Kagome, and she smiled at him before leaning on his shoulder. He welcomed her simple gesture, enjoying the scent of her hair.

As they sat there, Sesshomaru let one of his hands brush against the hilt of his sword, the Tenseiga. 'You failed me,' He thought sardonically. 'Kagome needs a body.' He looked down at her serene face, and another thought dawned on him. He grasped Tenseiga's hilt tightly.

"Kagome," He called out softly to her.

"Hmm?" She answered dazedly.

"Would you mind if I…tried again?"

She looked up at him confusedly, then glanced down at the sword in his hands. Her eyes widened.

"Sesshomaru, no…It didn't work the first time…"

"It didn't work because you needed a body. But now that you're flesh, perhaps there is still a chance," Sesshomaru pressed, feeling the familiar hope rise within him. But Kagome seemed to have a fear in her eyes, and she clutched at his silk hoari tightly, shaking her head.

"No, I don't want to," Kagome whispered. "If…If it doesn't work…you'll get mad again…and you'll…you'll leave me all alone…" She trembled. "I don't want to come back to life if I drive you away!"

Sesshomaru stared in disbelief at her, then his features softened. He understood why she was so afraid.

"Shh, Kagome, that wasn't your fault. I left because I was angry at myself, but never at you." He stroked her hair lovingly, "Just please, let me try. If there's even a chance, I… But this Sesshomaru promises, that no matter what the outcome, I won't leave you."

Kagome took a sharp intake of breath, obviously battling within herself before giving in.

"Alright," She stood up, brushing her kimono slightly before staring intently at him, "Go ahead."

Sesshomaru stood up as well, unsheathing the Tenseiga. It pulsed within his hands, just as it did before. Kagome just gazed back at him with those trusting eyes. It was all just like before. He only prayed it would be different this time.

Wasting no time at all, he slashed the blade across Kagome's body, enveloping her once more in the violet rays of light, and she glowed with an ethereal aura. Before long, the light died out, and she stood, just as she did before.

She stared at him.

"Did it work?" She questioned. Sesshomaru came up to her, taking her hand in his.

"To be honest, I can't quite tell," He said. "It is a full moon. You will be flesh either way. We won't really know until morning comes." Sesshomaru curled his fingers around her own, loving the warmth of her hands. "Do you feel any different?"

"Well, I'm sort of tingly," Kagome observed. Sesshomaru pulled her back down, so that they were once again sitting against the trunk of the tree. "Sesshomaru?" She whispered.

"Can I stay with you tonight?" He asked solemnly, his deep voice tickling her ear. Kagome stared at him, surprised at the sudden notion. She blushed a deep crimson, realizing that his tail wrapped itself around her, holding her closer to his strong body. The girl wasn't sure why Sesshomaru was being so affectionate with her lately, Sure, he had always been close to her, but this time…well, this time was different somehow. Not trusting her voice, she nodded shyly.

Sesshomaru sighed in contentment, and kissed her temple, not caring if his actions seemed overly zealous to her. He only got to hold her like this once a month, and he wasn't about to let it go to waste. 'And if she is still in my arms in the morning, I shall never let her go.'

The two fell asleep that way, cradled beneath the cherry blossom tree, and lulled to sleep by the swaying of the leaves, their figures illuminated by the light of the full moon.

End Chapter

[A/N]

Yume: Agh…I don't know about this one. But I think I got what I wanted to say in this one. (yawn) I neglected all means of hw for this.

CF: WE ARE SO DEAD FOR TOMORROW IN SCHOOL!

Yume: So, READ! REVIEW!. And thanks to all of our readers from before who took the time to do just that. Review. ^_^ no flames please.

In the next chapter!

Inuyasha learns of Kagome's relationship with Sesshomaru. Kikyo learns of Inuyasha's relationship with Kagome. There's plenty of jealousy to go around, and what's this? Naraku gives an inkling of his true motives.