InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Who Needs Sleep? ❯ Who Needs Sleep? ( Chapter 1 )

A/N: I don't own Koinu or Bare Naked Ladies, but together they sound like a Japanese S&M club, don't they? This song is my favorite because after three kids, I think I'm pretty well acquainted with how lack of sleep can twist your mind into a caramel-coated knot of insanity.

And how a child that is old enough to sleep through the night is more precious than water in the desert. So I got to thinking. Kagome has all this stress over school, home, her friends, multiple suitors in the forms of Houjo, (Hojou, Hojo, who cares), Kouga and Inuyasha, not to mention playing parent to a little kid and hunting down demons and jewel shards.

How the hell does she managed to doze off at the end of the day without blinking an eye?

Well, what if she can't?

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Ka: "What is it this time?"

Ba: "I wanted you to have some of this."

Ka: "Does it taste like chicken, is made from chicken, or you were told that it was like chicken in anyway?"

Ba: "No."

Ka: "Fine, then I'll have some."

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Now I lay me down not to sleep…

Kagome: "Where is my book bag? Oh, there it is, right behind me."

Shippo: "Are you okay Kagome?"

Kagome: smiles brightly. "Sure, I'm fine. I just needed to put my homework away."

Shippo: looking worried. "I thought since you had so much to do tonight that I would set up the sleeping bag."

Kagome: eyes the rumpled mass and manages on a weak smile. "Thank you Shippo. That was really, special of you."

Shippo: hops over and beds down happily in the middle of the mess. "You're welcome!"

I just get tangled in the sheets…

Kagome: flat on her back trying to get comfortable, whispers. "This sucks."

Inuyasha: ears flattened in annoyance "Shut the fuck up, I'm trying to sleep!"

Kagome: eye twitching. "SIT!"

WHAM!

Inuyasha: growls "Bitch."

Kagome: sighs and rolls over.

Inuyasha: winces and climbs back into the tree, still muttering. "Bitch."

"SIT!"

WHAM!

I swim in sweat three inches deep…

Kagome: eyeing the little body pressed tightly against her side. 'Why the devil does he have to be covered in fur?'

Miroku: snores lightly and rolls closer to her.

Kagome: panicking a bit. 'I can't move because of Shippo!'

Miroku: snores a bit louder while scooting closer.

Kagome: breaks out in a sweat and blushes as he comes even closer.

Miroku: stops snoring and rolls one last time, flapping one hand across something warm and soft…

Inuyasha: growls meaningfully at the hand on his thigh.

Miroku: snores loudly and rolls quickly away.

Kagome: hides beneath the covers and hopes to forget this night ever happened.

Inuyasha: snorts and whispers. "Go to sleep idiot."

Muffled: "Spit!"

Inuyasha: freezes and braces for impact before realization dawns. One eye twitches in irritation. "I should have let him grope you…"

I just lay back and claim defeat…

Kagome: peeks out to make sure he's gone. 'Baka.'

Sango: sighs and slaps Miroku in her sleep, muttering, "Hentai."

Miroku: groans.

Kagome: rolls her eyes and sits up, thinking. 'Maybe if I read something…'

Chapter read and lesson learned…

Kagome: tosses bag down in defeat. 'I'm the baka! I only brought schoolbooks and I do NOT want to read those!'

Shippo: mewls and scoots closer to her.

Kagome: fans herself lightly. 'He'd be mad if I shaved him, right?'

I turn the lights off while she burned…

Shippo: curls up even closer.

Kagome: wonders 'Did I use the Arid this morning, or the Sure? I'll have to check tomorrow.'

Shippo: wiggles closer.

Kagome: turns off her book light and vows to find medieval equivalent of air conditioner.

So while she's three-hundred degrees…

Kagome: notices that Kirara has joined her in bed. 'Heaven help me, I'm burning up!'

Kirara: mewls cutely and snuggles on the other side of Kagome.

Shippo: mewls even cuter and snuggles closer.

Kagome: gasps for air and dreams of water.

I throw the sheets off and I freeze…

Kagome: shucks her shirt and shoves it between the two hot bodies. 'That'll hold them.'

Inuyasha: stops breathing and ogles from overhead.

Kagome: stretches, unaware of her audience.

Inuyasha: leans forward as her bra lifts up.

Kagome: bends back further in a deeper stretch.

Inuyasha: is turning blue from lack of oxygen, but doesn't seem to care.

Kagome: spots him and screams.

Inuyasha: has blacked out.

Miroku: sits up, spot Kagome and smiles brightly.

Sango: sits up, spots Kagome and smacks Miroku.

Shippo and Kirara: still sleeping.

Kagome: red as hell, digs out a shirt and puts it on.

Inuyasha: still out cold.

Kagome: screams "I got hot!" stalks back to bed and lays down.

Miroku: nurses bruise with wistful look on his face as he goes back to sleep.

Sango: vows to beat the monk senseless in the morning before going back to sleep.

Kagome: blushes as she curls up, 'And I STILL can't go to sleep!'

My lid's down, I count sheep, I count heartbeats…

Kagome: eyes closed. 'One hundred and one, one hundred and two, one hundred and three, one hundred and…is that Inuyasha?'

Inuyasha: wobbling a bit, somehow makes it back into the tree.

Kagome: watches him and then smacks her forehead. 'I lost count! Baka!'

Inuyasha: nods off with very unusual thoughts running through his head.

Kagome: looks up at him curiously before recognizing the smile on his face as one that Miroku wore often. "SIT!"

WHAM!

Inuyasha: "BITCH!"

Sango, Miroku, Shippo: "Shut UP!"

Kagome: flushes and starts over. 'One, two, three, four…'

Inuyasha: goes into the forest to think about those previous thoughts. In private.

The only thing that counts is that I wont sleep. I count down, I look around…

Kagome: 'Two hundred and thirty, two hundred and thirty one, two hundred and…was that Inuyasha?'

Miroku: laughs in his sleep.

Sango: slaps Miroku in her sleep.

Shippo: clutches Kagome's shirt and sighs.

Inuyasha: staggers in looking exhausted, but really, really happy.

Kagome: realizes she's lost count again. 'Shit.'

Who needs sleep? - well you're never gonna get it

Kagome: gets up and wanders down to the river. 'Why can't I sleep?'

Kouga: zips by "Hello Kagome, you're looking very nice tonight."

Kagome: startled. "Kouga? Why are you up?"

Kouga: "Wolves are nocturnal. If you're my woman, you're gonna be up all night as well."

Kagome: eye twitching. 'Great.'

Kouga: "I thought I heard mutt face."

Inuyasha: "Get the hell away from her!" suddenly remembers Kagome shirtless and blushes.

Kouga: "Why are you blushing like that Dog-turd?"

Inuyasha: blushing even worse. "None of your business dickhead!"

Kagome: embarrassed because she knows why, walks off and leaves them alone. 'All I want is some sleep, not a stupid brawl.'

Who needs sleep? - tell me what's that for?

Kagome: wanders further away. 'Good, I can't hear them fighting anymore.'

Kikyo: "What are you doing here?"

Kagome: panicking "I just want some sleep!"

Kikyo: tilts her head. "Have you tried warm milk?"

Kagome: dumb-founded. "What?"

Kikyo: "Or maybe some chamomile tea. That works really well."

Kagome: "You're not going to kill me?"

Kikyo: gives a small smile. "How could I kill such a pretty face?"

Kagome: eyes twitching. 'Narcissistic doesn't even begin to describe that statement.'

Kikyo: waves her hand as she walks away. "Try the tea. It really does work."

Kagome: makes her way back to camp. 'I'm losing my mind. Lack of sleep has made me insane.'

Who needs sleep? - be happy with what you're getting there's a guy's been awake since the second world war….

Kagome: staring up into the sky. 'Wasn't there a guy who didn't sleep for like, forty years or something? What was his name…?'

Shippo: grumbles because of Kagome's tossing and turning.

Kagome: 'What was his name? I'm going to be up all night until I get this.'

Shippo: "Go to sleep Kagome."

Who needs sleep? - well you're never gonna get it…

Kagome: glares down at the little body. 'I know he's not getting started too!'

Shippo: sighs and snuggles closer. "Inu-baka"

Kagome: stifles a laugh.

Inuyasha: growls from the tree and hurls a nut at Shippo.

Who needs sleep? - tell me what's that for?

Kagome: "OW! That hurt!"

Inuyasha: surprised, but won't apologize. "If your head wasn't so big, it would've hit him and not you!"

Kagome: glares.

Inuyasha: gulps.

Who needs sleep? - be happy with what you're getting 'cause this guy's been awake since the second world war.

Kagome: "SIT!"

WHAM!

Inuyasha: from the ground. "…bitch…"

Sango, Miroku, Shippo: "Go to SLEEP!!"

My hands are locked up tight in fists…

Kagome: whispering. "What was the name of that guy?"

My mind is racing, filled lists. Of things to do and things I've done…

Kagome: "Was he British, or American?"

Another sleepless nights begun..

Kagome: "What's the real difference anyway? They both speak English, don't they?"

My lid's down, I count sheep, I count heartbeats.

Inuyasha: "I don't care if you sit me into the center of the fucking earth, just SHUT UP!!"

Kagome: looks at him and opens her mouth.

Sango: sits up and glares.

Miroku: sits up and scowls.

Shippo: sits up and frowns.

Together: "GO TO SLEEP!"

The only thing that counts is that I wont sleep. I count down, I look around…

Inuyasha: smirks and closes his eyes. 'She can't do it now.'

Kagome: stands up, goes to the tree he's in and hisses. "…sit…"

WHAM!

Inuyasha: "DAMN IT WOMAN, I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!!"

Sango: hurls her Hiraikotsou.

Miroku: flings an ofuda.

Shippo: tosses a kitsune bi.

Inuyasha: yelps and runs off swearing.

Kagome: smirks and gets back in the sleeping bag. 'Baka.'

Silence.

Kagome: 'What was that guy's name?!'

Who needs sleep? - well you're never gonna get it…

Kagome: turns over. 'Didn't I have a date with Houjo today?'

Kirara: mewls and scoots away.

Kagome: 'Why does he keep asking me out anyway?

Kirara: kicks in her sleep.

Kagome: 'How dense can he be?'

Kirara: fed up with Kagome's movement, gets up and follows Inuyasha.

Who needs sleep? - tell me what's that for?

Kagome: turns the other way. 'I never actually said I liked him, did I? Yuki said it.'

Shippo: grumbles.

Who needs sleep? - be happy with what you're getting there's a guy's been awake since the second world war.

Kagome: ignores it. 'I mean, I guess I do owe him for all those gifts.'

Shippo: grumbles louder.

Who needs sleep? - well you're never gonna get it…

Kagome: still ignores it. 'Maybe if I sleep with him, he'll get it out of his system.'

Shippo: "…get off…"

Who needs sleep? - tell me what's that for?

Kagome: startled. "What?"

Shippo: cries out. "Get off my tail!"

Who needs sleep? - be happy with what you're getting there's a guy's been awake since the second world war.

Kagome: moves quickly, apologizing loudly. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't know Shippo!"

Sango and Miroku: "Shut up!"

So much joy in life, so many pleasures all around…

Kagome: cradling Shippo and sweating again. 'I wonder if I have anymore chocolate?'

Shippo: tries to escape from the moisture without her noticing.

The pleasure of insomnia is one I've never found…

Kagome: 'I think I gave it all to Shippo, or Miroku.'

Shippo: prays that the Arid will hold out for the night.

With all life has to offer, there's so much to be enjoyed…

Kagome: lets Shippo go and gets her bag. .'I think I'd like some right now.'

Shippo: sighs in relief and backs away to where it's cooler.

The pleasure of insomnia is one I can't avoid…

Kagome: doesn't notice the escaping kitsune. 'Toothpaste, flashlight, matches, tampons…'

Shippo: curled up snoring lightly.

Kagome: whispers. "What was that guy's name? I know he was in Ripley's."

Shippo: whines softly and prays that she falls asleep soon.

Kagome: still whispering. "Ah, kisses! I knew I had some!"

Shippo: sighs and gets up to go sleep with Kirara.

My lid's down I count sheep, I count heartbeats…

Kagome: wrapper rustles loudly. "How many do I have anyway?"

Miroku: cracks one eye to watch her.

The only thing that counts is that I wont sleep I count down, I look around…

Kagome: another wrapper rustles. "One more can't hurt."

Miroku: cracks the other eye.

Who needs sleep? - well you're never gonna get it…

Kagome: opens yet another wrapper. "These are really good."

Miroku: moves his hand in front of him.

Who needs sleep? - tell me what's that for?

Kagome: fourth one. "These caramel ones are awesome!"

Miroku: "Wind Tunnel!" sucks up all the candy and wrappers.

Who needs sleep? - be happy with what you're getting there's a guy's been awake since the second world war.

Kagome: looks pissed. "What do you think you're doing with my chocolate?!"

Miroku: grins evilly from lack of sleep. "Since I'm a holy man, I'll pray for your soul BEFORE I knock you out."

Sango: smacks HIM unconscious with the Hiraikotsou while asleep, muttering. "Hentai."

Who needs sleep? - well you're never gonna get it…

Inuyasha: comes running back, bleary-eyed. "I heard the Kaazaana! Who's attacking?"

Kagome: pouts. "Nobody. Miroku sucked up my candy."

Who needs sleep? - tell me what's that for?

Inuyasha: glares at the monk. "Bouzo!"

Miroku: out cold and loving it.

Sango: bolts upright and screams "GO TO SLEEP!!"

Kagome and Inuyasha: jump back in fear.

Who needs sleep? - be happy with what you're getting 'cause this guy's been awake since the second world war.

Shippo: crashes from the sky along with Kirara.

Kirara: barges into the middle in her full flame state, roaring her head off.

Shippo: just as sleepy as everyone else, starts tossing out fireballs at random. "Kitsune Bi! Kitsume By! Cats in my bye! Cast in my eye!"

Everyone: dodging and cursing.

My lid's down, I count sheep, I count heartbeats…

Miroku: bolts up screaming when a fireball hit's a …sensitive… spot.

Shippo: casts one last weak ball of fire and then passes out, snoring.

The only thing that counts is that I wont sleep. I count down, I look around…

Kirara: collapses in her sleep on top of Shippo.

Shippo: dies peacefully and happy to get the rest.

Halla, halla, halla!

Everyone: O_o pauses. "…was that a lyric?"

B.B.: grins bashfully. "Sorry guys, it's in the song."

Everyone: -_-;. "You pick the weirdest songs."

B.B.: /\_O. "I know."

Everyone: goes back to what they were doing before.

Who needs sleep? - well you're never gonna get it…

Inuyasha: irate and tired, gets into a fight with Sango. "Damn it, stop yelling in my ears bitch!"

Sango: just as tired and twice as irate. "Who are you calling a bitch, mutt? I'm not Kagome!"

Who needs sleep? - tell me what's that for?

Inuyasha: "Yeah, you're twice as useless!"

Sango: decks him.

Inuyasha: hit the ground out cold.

Sango: kicks him in the head repeatedly. "Mutt. Dog-breath. Fuzz head. BAKA!"

Who needs sleep? - be happy with what you're getting there's a guy's been awake since the second world war.

Miroku: is crying because now he can never have children.

Who needs sleep? - well you're never gonna get it…

Kagome: staring around in the confusion, perks up suddenly. "Wait a minute!"

Who needs sleep? - tell me what's that for?

Miroku: wanders off in hysterics. Later on, there is a small cry and the sound of the wind tunnel being unleashed.

Sango: doesn't notice because she is still pummeling the unconscious hanyou. "Bastard! Half-bred idiot! Stupid, white-haired asshole!!"

Who needs sleep? - be happy with what you're getting 'cause this guy's been awake since the second world war.

Kagome: sound asleep next to an empty pack of Nytol.

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Ba: "Do you like it?"

Ka: "Yeah, it's actually pretty good! What is it?"

Ba: "Some kind of plant, I think. It's called 'Pole-tree'."

Ka: "…"

Ba: "What?"

Ka: "I hate you."

A/N: The official record for going without sleep was set by Randy Gardner in 1965. He stayed awake for 265 hours and 12 minutes, then slept for 14 hours, 40 mts.