InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Wicked ❯ Understanding ( Chapter 16 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter 16: Understanding

Mattaki watched Kagome over the orange flames of the fire he'd provided to keep her warm, his expression still predatory and wanting. After his little blow-up earlier, she'd not said another word, and he was almost positive her mind wasn't even still in the cave with him.

No... her mind was lost deep in its thoughts – but he was content with that – because he was positive her thoughts were all of him, and their fate as a couple.

Since that was what he'd brought her here for, he was quite happy to loll around in the silence, and let her figure things out. At least... until she fell asleep. And then it would be time for him to join in those thoughts – and make more of an impression on her psyche.

He sighed inwardly, knowing that until she had accepted him, accepted her place in his life and had joined herself to him, he would feel no relief from the burning in his blood at her nearness. Her scent called to him, making him nearly mindless with need, and he had never had to exert more control in his entire life than when he was in her presence.

Quite simply, he hungered for her. It was like the sharp edge of starvation, being near her and not taking her, this need wouldn't be quelled until he was buried within her and their souls were joined as one. Even then, he knew the need would always be there – it would just be easier to sate any time he felt like doing so.

His eyes ran down her sweet, soft body covered in her odd clothes, and raw desire flashed in his gaze – she had absolutely no idea of the power she wielded over him, for she was far too innocent. That state, however, would not last too much longer... soon, she would be made fully aware of what it meant to desire something with all ones body and soul.

Passion would taint the once pure halls of her mind... and he would revel in the tainting.

Oh, her true purity, the purity of her heart, which was the wellspring of her power, would remain intact. That was a given. But everything else would be taken over by him - he would prove his dominance here, over his chosen female... and her heart.

It would be the most important domination of his life...

The domination of his mate.

Kagome, contrary to what he assumed, was very aware of his gaze on her. But for some odd reason, it wasn't bothering her. She could only assume it was because, despite his ultimatum of earlier, she knew that he would never hurt her.

Inwardly, she sighed. This whole situation was absolutely maddening.

Her mind went back over the stories she'd heard tell of the Inu no Taisho – both in this time, and her own, and she had to say, they really didn't convey the person – all they brought out was the larger-than-life stature of the male behind the stories.

It was interesting how all the fables and tales exaggerated the good, and glossed over the more annoying traits he carried. While the good qualities spoken of were definitely evident, the other things, like the arrogance, domineering attitude, and pushiness that were somehow not mentioned in myths about him, were just as equally a part of him.

Even old Myoga's tales had carried strong hints of hero-worship, though she supposed she could see the reason for that. After all, to a youkai the stature of the flea, Mattaki would be the equivalent of a god. She had to admit, to her, he was near the stature of a god, too, at least... in the physical sense.

Despite all her anger and annoyance and the irritation she'd been feeling, along with the uncertainty, she could not deny, at least to herself, that he was the most gorgeous male she'd ever seen. Just looking at him made her heart pound, and her body melt, and he'd proven with that whole thing earlier that he was fully aware of it.

She frowned, then, as something that had been bothering her for some time in the back of her mind finally crystallized in the forefront of it. I'm still fighting him – but I know it's a losing battle. I do want him, just like he says. And if I had the courage, I could admit that I... but I don't have the courage right now – and maybe I never will. So... is there really any point in fighting this any further? Especially when he says, she shivered in anticipation, and fear, that I only have two more days, anyway?

Part of her flinched at even admitting what she just had. The part of her that feared losing respect... I feel like I'm committing a crime for even entertaining this whole thing. I fear... losing my own respect for myself, as well as my family's and friend's respect. None of them will ever understand this – hell, I've dealt with youkai and hanyou now for two years, no one in my world has ever done the same – and I don't even understand this.

There has to be a way for me to understand...

Without looking up, Kagome put her thoughts into words, capturing every bit of Mattaki's attention immediately.

“Is there a way for you to show me... show me what you mean by all of this, this claim? I'm human, not youkai, and this... it's too foreign and frightening to accept.” She flicked a glance at him, only to find an intense expression in his eyes.

“I don't know if I can ever accept something that I don't understand,” she finally said simply.

He blinked, then considered her words, his eyes narrowing. “I must think on this... it is not an unreasonable request. While you prepare your dinner, I will consider the possibilities.”

She merely nodded, setting a spit with a portion of the meat from earlier on it into the fire to heat, her pulse jumping as she listened to his voice – it was so sinfully delicious. Practically every time he opened his mouth, she shivered. There was just something about that damn sexy baritone that killed her higher reasoning brain cells off and left her insides clenching and her naughty side (which she'd never even realized she had until now) screaming at her to jump him.

Dammit, she groused, a scowl forming between her brows, that kind of sexy should be illegal! Sesshoumaru has a nice voice, but even his doesn't have quite the same impact – it's absolutely disgusting is what it is.

And then she wilted a little bit. As much as that man – male – is liquid sex, she blushed at even thinking such a thing, there's just no way that someone like that could want someone like me... not really. I just... can't believe it. So may times I've heard how gorgeous Inuyasha's mother was – and it has to be true if Mattaki wanted her so much, even though he didn't love her, and then there's Sesshoumaru... that two such beautiful males wanted her so badly, says something, especially as she was human. And I'm not... anything special at all.

She closed her eyes, then, thinking of herself in the mirror. Her full-length one back home. I'm just so... average! There's a billion women more beautiful than me... and another billion that are just like me. There's nothing about me that stands out – nothing that would attract someone like him.

So why??

I just feel so... unworthy.

With a jerk, she was pulled from her thoughts as she found herself flat on her back, a growling inu crouched over her. Eyes wide, she stared up at him in shock. “M-Mattaki?” she questioned. “What...?”

“You were thinking things I would not approve of, onna,” he snarled. At her confused but guilty blush, he said, “It clouds your scent and taints its purity. What are these thoughts that are causing such?” he demanded.

She blinked rapidly, not sure what to make of the last few moments. “Uh...” she broke off, uncertain of what he was asking for.

He sighed with impatience. “Something is bothering you. I can tell by your scent – it changes it. Negative emotions and thoughts brings a sour trace to your normally intoxicating scent – and I don't want anything to upset you. So... tell me – what are the thoughts that have caused that reaction in you?”

Her mouth opened to answer him automatically, but then she snapped it closed and eyed him uncomfortably, before looking away, her eyes falling to the side. She felt awkward enough with her feelings, let alone when he was perched above her as he was – it was such a dominant position.

Eyes narrowed, he watched her avoid his gaze, and snarled again.

“Do not attempt to keep me out or lie to me, Kagome.” Mattaki bared his fangs at her, demanding her submission, and confused and a little overwhelmed, Kagome went with her instincts, baring her throat.

It was the right thing to do, and quite a bit of tension left his frame at that movement from her.

“Tell me, little onna. I will not allow anything to cause you harm – not even you, yourself.”

She sighed, then, and tried to figure out how to say it without making a fool of herself.

“I... guess I don't see what the attraction on your part is,” she finally admitted. “I mean, anyone looking at you can see how gorgeous you are. But me? I don't understand why you chose me,” she whispered miserably.

Mattaki was rather taken aback at that, and pushed himself to sit back on his heels as he considered the female spread out before him like some sort of virgin sacrifice. Though virgin she will not be for much longer...

“Ordinary?” he queried. “I must confess that you have taken me by surprise with this, little one. It is so far from what I see you as, that I... am not certain how you have come to such a conclusion. You are completely the opposite of ordinary.” He eyed her weighingly for a moment, then said, “I will simply have to show you what I see when I look at you, I suppose. After you eat.”

Kagome nodded, and Mattaki offered his hand to help pull her up; she accepted, though a bit hesitantly, and he frowned just slightly as he noted that. Her doubts in herself must be very deep. I wonder... where have they come from?

“Tell me, Kagome – why do you doubt yourself so? What has caused such a lack of esteem in you for yourself?” he asked as he moved to check the progress of her dinner, finding it done, he removed the spit from the fire and handed it to her.

She bit her lip. “Er...” she started slowly, and he looked up at her, dark brow cocked. It wasn't hard to figure out what her hesitance stemmed from.

“So... it was my son. Things that he would say to you?” he asked, and she blinked, startled that he'd caught on without her really saying anything.

With a slow nod, she confirmed it. “Inuyasha was very blunt in his words – but he was right. I... had so little worth when I came here – I couldn't do anything right. And even now,” she looked down at her food, “I'm still so... useless half the time. Look at Sango! She's a warrior – and she can kick some serious rear! And Kikyou... she can control her reiki and do things with it I couldn't even imagine. What use am I, really?”

Mattaki sighed. “Kagome, it is not about your power, or your usefulness, nor even how you look – I would still want you were you to look any other way than what you do. It does not matter – it is our souls that are one, and the bodies simply follow their lead. And this fear that you are not worthy? I think that you tend to overlook everything you contribute to all of our lives. You are not a warrior, you say. Yet I say that you are – a warrior of the soul. One way is not better than the other – it is only different. I am the physical warrior in this union between us – and you fight with your spirit. Do you not think, then, that we cover both ends of the spectrum – together?”

Startled, she stopped in the middle of chewing and stared at him for a few moments as she thought about his words. Absently, she finished chewing slowly, and swallowing, said, “I... hadn't really thought about that. Do you really believe that?”

“I would not say it if it were not true. Why do we need two physical warriors in our union? Think, Kagome. I've said this before – ones weaknesses play to the others strengths. Your friends – the monk and the slayer – do they not follow the same pattern? And even my foolish son, and the other miko? One physical warrior, and the other spiritual. It is an ideal melding.”

Completely consumed by his words, she finished her food, not even realizing that she was. I guess it shows just how much older and wiser he is compared to me. But... I can't say he's not right. It makes a great deal of sense, really.

“You're right,” she smiled suddenly, taking in the fact that she'd finished her meal already, “and I probably never would have realized that on my own. Thanks for pointing it out.”

He nodded complacently, then held out his hand to her, and said, “Come. It is time for me to show you what I said that I would. I want there to be no more misunderstandings between us, saiai.”

She flushed at the endearment; it was unexpected, though not at all unwelcome, and she smiled uncertainly at him as she shyly stood and took his hand. Her blush deepened when he sat her right in his lap – it was a very intimate position.

Trying to push past her embarrassment, she asked, “What's going to happen now?”

A wicked light flashed in his eyes. “I'm going to place us both in a trance, and draw your consciousness into mine – only in that way will you be able to see – and feel – what is needed for you to understand.”

Clutching the hand that still held her dainty one captive, she inhaled deeply, and then straightening her shoulders bravely, she nodded firmly.

“Okay... I'm ready.”

Between one second and the next, she fell into a cool blue world of light, and her senses became one with the daiyoukai that was determined to permanently form them as one being.

Slowly, understanding took shape in her heart and soul...

-wWw-

Sesshoumaru waited, with scarcely hidden impatience, for his father's vassal to make his way to him. He'd sent out his call days ago, and still the flea had yet to answer.

For the daiyoukai, this was unacceptable. His father being returned to life or not, Myoga was now his vassal as well, and should have already made his way to his master's call.

Of course, Myoga might argue the point, if he had the courage – at Mattaki's death, he'd become the vassal of the younger son, by their father's will. Sesshoumaru, however, had no care for that – he was now the leader of the inu clan, such as it was, and by that, the flea had to answer to him as the alpha – at least, in his mind.

Scanning the lands around with his aura, his fist tightened with satisfaction as he took note of the tiny aura making its – reluctant – way towards him. Finally!

“Ah! Sesshoumaru-sama – you called?” the tiny voice squeaked.

“Some time ago, flea. Tell me, what is the reason for the delay in obeying my summons?” the daiyoukai said icily.

Myoga quailed, stammering in fear. “M-my L-lord, I was on my way to you, when I stumbled across your half-brother's... err, I-Inuyasha's pack, and found your father!”

So... he has already been there. All to the better, then. “Tell me... what did you find when you were there?” he asked calmly.

Myoga sighed almost silently, wiping a tiny arm across his head in relief that Sesshoumaru seemed to accept his words. “That is quite the tale, my Lord. Apparently, Master Inuyasha was being his usual stubbornly blind self, and fed the miko Kagome a tea that was created by Naraku himself.”

Sesshoumaru cocked a brow in shock. “The half-breed turned on the miko?”

“Oh! No, Sesshoumaru-sama, I did not mean he did it knowingly. He was tricked into it, though he should have known better – but he is hot-headed, and does not listen to what he does not care to hear.”

“This I am aware of, flea. Tell me, what was in this tea, and what was it designed to do?”

The little flea folded his arms across his tiny chest and frowned. “Well, my Lord, according to your esteemed father, it was supposed to attack the claim he has on her...” Myoga flinched, realizing he hadn't yet mentioned that to the temperamental Lord before him, and hoping he wasn't about to be killed. Sesshoumaru merely looked at him with slight amusement.

“I am aware that father has claimed the miko Kagome. Continue.”

“Very good, my Lord,” the flea sighed with relief. “It was supposed to attack the claim, but only to weaken it.”

“And what was in it?”

“A blend of herbs, and Naraku's miasma, along with a tiny bit of his blood.”

Sesshoumaru looked away for a few moments, a slight frown on his face. What could be the reason to attempt to weaken the bond, without breaking it? There is something there that does not make sense. “And where is my father and the miko now?”

“Ah, that I cannot tell you, my Lord. I do not know his whereabouts at this time, though the rest of Inuyasha's group is back in that village he protects.”

“Hn.” So father took the miko elsewhere... interesting. I would wager that by the time they are seen again, they will be mated. He actually chuckled, his amusement at the bind Inuyasha was in overriding his normal stoicism. More fool you, Inuyasha. You waited too long to claim her... and now she is forever beyond your reach.

Then his mind turned to another aspect of the whole thing. It is certain that Naraku will appear soon... perhaps it is time for me to rest near Inuyasha's village. I would be waiting when that spider appears. And it will give me the chance to rattle Inuyasha's chain, as well.

“Very well, Myoga, you may leave. I suggest that you head back to your master – he will have need of you. And you should be safe enough in his village,” he said snidely.

Myoga winced, but bowed, and eagerly summoned his crow – he was perfectly happy to get away from the eldest son of the Inu no Taisho. “Yes, my Lord,” he said, even as he hopped aboard his transport and disappeared into the distance.

Sesshoumaru gazed into the horizon, his powerful mind turning every bit of information over to study all the facets of what he'd learned.

One thing that stood out was that Inuyasha had placed himself in grave danger by trying to defy their powerful father – repeatedly.

Inuyasha... you are truly a fool.

-wWw-

A/N: Let me tell you – taking care of an abandoned kitten is a full time job, lol. My daughter found a tiny kitten only about a week old abandoned on the side of the road, and we've been taking care of her since. She's three weeks old now and adorable as all get out – but taking care of her leaves me with less time to concentrate on stories. But I finally got this chapter done – which means I have managed to post a chapter on all my stories in this last week - Yay me!

Hope everyone enjoys this one... and just a hint – the mating chapter is next, so...

~wink~

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