InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ With Or Without You ❯ With Or Without You ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha or crew; that pleasure belongs to Rumiko Takahashi, Viz and Action. I shamelessly quote manga in the first flashback scene. I don't own the lyrics to the song this fic is set to, they belong to U2. Really the only thing I own is the computer I'm typing on, and even that is debatable. Oh, well, it's fun to borrow!

 

Notes: This is a oneshot. It's also a songfic. But it's not primarily the song, it's more about the story. As usual, the list of Japanese I use is at the bottom of the fic.

 

Genre: Songfic, Drama, Romance

Rating: M (for language, violence and adult situations)

Codes: Inu/Kag, Mir/San (passing reference)

Feedback: Reviews beget more fiction!

 

 

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"With Or Without You"

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See the stone set in your eyes

 

It was always amazing to InuYasha the way Kagome could commit to something. His mind was always a jumble of thoughts, most of them confusing due to their conflicting natures. Despite the jibes of his friends, he spent most of his time lost in thought. It was a side effect of being alone for most of his life. His mother had died when he was still a young boy and he hadn't met Kikyo until he was a young man. The equivalent of seventeen human years had taken him thirty to live. A youkai of his physical age would be over a hundred, but he was only a hanyo. That was a lot of years to live alone and he had been his only company.

 

InuYasha watched as Kagome drew the bow, a skill he had forced on her, her eyes as cold as his own in that moment. Though her eyes were cold, he knew her blood was hot, rushing through her body in tiny rivers that he could hear faintly. There was always a warmth to Kagome, no matter if she were in icy water or staring at an enemy, about to strike. It was a warmth he wanted to bury himself in, but couldn't. He watched her commit to making the shot, calmly and slowly. No hint of any feeling in it. She committed to this the way she had to the quest, to him, their friends, her school… He had no idea how she managed to do it all when she took it all so very seriously. He would go insane.

 

See the thorn twist in your side

 

Kagome let loose the arrow, willing it to strike the ugly insect youkai in its hideous eye. The pink shard flew from the wound, out the back of its head and Kagome cheered. She was still slightly amazed at the skill she had so rapidly developed. She supposed it had something to do with her soul's memory of Kikyo, but it certainly had taken it long enough to remember! Kagome turned to her comrades; unaware that warmness had bled back into her eyes or that they had ever lacked it. She wondered briefly at the look InuYasha was giving her, and then it was gone. It was always gone before she could blink, but she had seen it many times in the past. She assumed it was her resemblance to a certain dead miko that prompted it and never asked him.

 

She so did not want to hear the answer. She pushed the hair that had fallen in her face back behind her ear, where it belonged and grinned at her friends. Miroku grinned back, Sango gave her usual small smile and Shippo was hopping up and down in excitement. Kirara licked her large paws, and InuYasha retrieved the sliver of sacred jewel from the grass. Kagome felt a small pang, remembering how he had been much more concerned with the Shikon no tama when they had first met than he ever was for her. Everything in his life had been more important than she. Becoming a youkai, the jewel of four souls, Kikyo… She often wondered if she even fit into the equation sometimes.

 

Still, she walked over to him and helped him stand when his injured leg collapsed. She hurt at the sight of his wound. She desperately wanted to close the few inches between their faces when she looked up into his eyes and saw the pain melt into another expression. But she quickly shoved it away in embarrassment (what would he say if he knew what she was thinking? He'd probably call her stupid!) and cheerfully helped him walk to Kirara, who took him on her back. The poison from the demon would take a few days to work out of his system, during which time, he would heal much slower than usual.

 

It was probably for the best, since she needed to get back to school and see how her tests scored. InuYasha was always extra cranky when he was injured and unable to do anything. He certainly didn't seem to appreciate her presence then. Sometimes Kagome wished she could be like the kids she saw on the American cartoons she liked to watch as a kid and be happy that she was missing school. She longed to pretend she could stay in the feudal era for all her life, with the friends she had here. After all, they were much closer to her than her vapid companions at school. She could barely believe she had once considered that true friendship. She had to console herself with the fact that she hadn't had any basis of comparison then.

 

Still, she wanted to stay with InuYasha and care for him until he was well again. Even though it would only get her yelled at and called stupid. She yearned for appreciation, but did not expect it. Not from him, at least. So, with an apprehensive heart, she left him to their friends' care and went down the well, their wishes for her quick and safe return filling her with happiness.

 

I wait for you

 

InuYasha ignored the twinge of pain in his leg as it dangled from the tree branch. Kagome had been gone three days and he had waited since the first had passed. He only left his tree to find food and answer the call of nature, and then he was back, watching the well. It was familiar to him: waiting for the girl who had destroyed everything he had known about life. He sometimes missed the silences he and Kikyo could share, that Kagome couldn't seem to abide. He had never seen anyone who appeared to so love the sound of their own voice.

 

And sometimes, he loved it, too.

 

Sleight of hand and twist of fate

 

He opened his eyes, confused for a moment. He had been dead. For how long, he had no idea; but he smelled his killer approaching him.

 

“The smell…” he whispered with a hiss. “The smell of her who killed me…is coming closer.” He saw Kikyo, wearing something strange and childishly short, running from Mistress Centipede. He was confused and angry, not an unfamiliar sensation, though it was unusual for him to feel it towards the woman he once loved with his whole being. The betrayal ripped at his heart and the burning rage curled his fingers into claws, waiting for her once beloved flesh to come close enough for him to rend. “Why toy with second-raters like Mistress Centipede?” he asked Kikyo, who was uncharacteristically cowering on the ground. She looked up; her eyes wider than InuYasha had ever seen them.

 

“Huh?” she queried. InuYasha frowned only for a moment, then the smirk returned to his face. What game was she playing? He didn't even hear the question she asked him.

 

“Destroy her with a single blast, Kikyo! After all… you did it to me,” he finished bitterly, flashing his fangs. How much he wanted to tear into that soft skin with them! He wanted to hurt her like she had hurt him. She was saying something, staring at him stupidly, while he heard the youkai sneaking up on her. Well, if you could call crashing through the forest `sneaking.' Kikyo seemed totally oblivious, though, so InuYasha reminded her, “She's coming.” After all, he was to be the one to destroy her, the way she had destroyed him. Lulling him into a false sense of security, just so she could kill him! He had no idea she played such games until his heart was torn out of his chest, metaphorically. He wished she had just done it physically, so he could have died quickly. And now, for some reason, she had awakened him to torment him all over again. How he hated her!

 

He watched dispassionately as Mistress Centipede attacked her and was pulled off by the villagers. He assumed Kikyo had just found a new kind of game to play. Perhaps the one she played on him was just too time-consuming. When she ended up on the ground, yet again, he sighed.

 

“Really, Kikyo, I'm disappointed.”

 

“Listen, you—” Then she was in his face, her agonizing scent being pushed into his nose. Her voice was unusually loud and angry as she yelled at him. “I don't know who this `Kikyo' is, except that she's not me!” InuYasha scoffed, trying to figure out her new game.

 

“Feh. Do you expect me to believe I wouldn't know the stench of the girl who…” he trailed off as he realized that something was off about her scent. It was too sweet, missing some of the musk he had once enjoyed breathing from the girl he loved and had haunted him from the girl he hated. Her eyes were too wide, too innocent. “You're…” Her nose was just a little smaller, perkier. Her voice was too high… “Not her.” Then who was this girl? InuYasha was confused and a little embarrassed. Thinking some common ningen was his beautiful Kikyo…

 

“Get it now? My named Kagome! Ka… go… me!” `Kagome, huh?' he thought. Who cares?

 

“I'm a fool after all,” he admitted. “Kikyo looked intelligent…” he looked away from Kagome. “And pretty.” She barely had time to make a sound of outrage and begin her own retort when Mistress Centipede began flinging bodies and attacked them. Then the stupid girl grabbed his hair when the youkai pulled her away. As if the pain from the arrow wasn't bad enough, now she had to rip out his hair?

 

“Let me go!” she shrieked at Mistress Centipede.

 

“You let me go!” He screamed at her. She adjusted her hold on him just in time for him to hear the first interesting thing since he had been roused from his death.

 

“This body is so weak! I will devour you whole, Shikon Jewel and all!” The Shikon Jewel? He thought, realizing she must have it on her. If only the damn arrow wasn't pinning him to the tree, he'd grab her and take the jewel himself before he paid her back for what she'd done to him. No, she wasn't Kikyo… His mind couldn't seem to wrap around it. Why did this girl, this `Kagome', have the jewel and look and smell so much like Kikyo if she wasn't her? Then a burst of power shot from her hand and InuYasha was even further confused. The girl was just like Kikyo, and nothing like her at the same time. Who the hell was she?

 

On a bed of nails she makes me wait

And I wait without you

 

InuYasha fought the hundredth urge to go down the well after the girl. He still couldn't travel like he was; the poison was still working its way out of his system. More had been injected even deeper than Sesshomaru's had been, so long ago, so it was taking longer to get out of him. If he was a full demon, he wouldn't have to worry about the venom, it wouldn't have affected him thus. As soon as he could go on again, he would jump the well and drag her back, whether she wanted to come or not. He wanted her to fight, to throw her over his shoulder while she yelled at him, and feel her warm body against his. And that was one of the main reasons he stayed where he was. He didn't want to desire her like this. He hated even needing her to find the Shikon no Kakera; he would not abide needing her for any other reason.

 

He couldn't lose her again.

 

When they defeated Naraku, he had no doubt she would leave and never look back. Every time she nearly died, a part of him went with her. He pushed her away because he would not suffer again the way he had with Kikyo. If he loved again, Naraku would use it against him again. That first time he had seen Kagome draw against him, he plummeted into hell. No one could ever do that again, they had tried, but he now knew what Kagome's eyes looked like. She always pleaded with him, behind their control. But there were other ways to use her against him, he knew. And Naraku was good at discovering weakness. Hadn't he revealed Sesshomaru's? InuYasha hadn't known his brother even had a heart, much less that it could care for a ningen child. How could he, who wore his heart on his sleeve, ever hope to keep Kagome from a worse fate? As a companion, even a friend, she was nothing but bait. As a lover, she would be a means for torture.

 

He wouldn't allow himself the weakness, nor put her in that kind of danger. So he treated her like shit. That was why she would leave when it was all over. Because how could she continue to care for him when he couldn't allow himself to care for her? Maybe she would visit, to see Sango, Miroku and Shippo. Maybe she would even come to see him. But she would never stay and he would never ask her. He had seen what happened to women who loved youkai and the youkai they loved. Just like his father, just like that little girl hanyo's father, he would be killed and Kagome would be left all alone.

 

With or without you

 

Kagome waited until InuYasha came for her. She didn't fight him; she wanted to go back. She missed them all, but more, she wanted to be missed. By a certain taciturn hanyo. When he came to get her, she ignored his shouts about being gone too long and just smiled, grabbing her now overloaded backpack and walking ahead of him through the well. She was glad to see that he was better, she was going back to her friends and her grades were doing well. Everything was good in her world for the time being and she was very happy.

 

With or without you

 

They reached the mountains faster this time, having cleared their way in the past months. Finding Naraku wasn't a difficult task anymore. He had long since ceased hiding. InuYasha was worried that Naraku would trick them again and pretend to die when he hadn't. Or do the same vanishing act again. This time, he needed it to be over. They all needed closure. Each and every one of them wanted to be the hand that ended the bastard. Only one hand had remained separate, on the same quest, but not with them. His brother's.

 

Kagome had asked the taiyoukai to join them, pointing out that they were all on the same quest. But Sesshomaru had simply sheathed his sword and disappeared. InuYasha had been relieved. He didn't want to travel with his half-brother any more than the youkai wanted to stay with them. But Sesshomaru hadn't attacked them again, though they journeyed within scenting distance of each other. He wondered if Sesshomaru hated his smell as much as he hated the youkai's. There was nothing actually unpleasant about it; it was just a reminder that the bastard was nearby.

 

They traveled for days without anything happening, seeming to get no closer some days, other days feeling like they had crossed an entire mountain. It was the middle of the night when InuYasha woke in his tree bed to screams. He had barely opened his eyes when they were shut forcibly. When he opened them again, he was not happy with what they showed him.

 

“I see that I am not the only one who was paid a visit in the night, dear brother.” InuYasha jumped up and looked around. All his friends were gone, their belongings scattered through the campsite. For a moment, InuYasha couldn't hear or see anything but red. But the stench didn't vanish. Naraku. Or, more likely, one of his incarnations. Whoever they were, they had all his friends and he had a tremendous bruise all along one side of his face. Finally, he realized his brother had been speaking to him and stopped.

 

“What did you say?” InuYasha growled, finally looking at Sesshomaru again. He was startled by what he saw. Broken armor pieces hung from what was left of his haori, a mere scrap across one armless shoulder; blood was matted in his hair, some of it fresh. Sesshomaru must have been caught sleeping, as he was, but their attack hadn't knocked him further into unconsciousness, it had awakened an angry demon. There were claw marks on his chest, which was bare and covered in dried blood. Toukijin was missing from its place at his side, although Tenseiga still hung from the obi Sesshomaru had tied around his bare waist. InuYasha had never seen him so disheveled.

 

“It does not matter,” Sesshomaru replied. “We must be swift if we are to retrieve our companions.” With that, Sesshomaru turned and walked away. “And my sword.” InuYasha checked and was happy to see that Tetsusaiga was in its usual place. He quickly caught up to Sesshomaru and they ran, side by side, chasing after the monster that had taken their people. It didn't take them long to find the setup Naraku had left for them. They were all hanging by their necks in front of a long, humongous blade that appeared to be held back by the very weight of the captives.

 

The familiar baboon-clad Naraku sat, watching. “You might be able to save one of them,” he hissed, then laughed. “But when you do, you kill the rest. Make your choice fast or they'll all be dead before you reach them.” InuYasha looked at his friends, spaced too far apart for him to reach them all before the blade dropped and killed at least three of them. Blood running down Kirara's fur told him that she had tried to change shape, unsuccessfully. Ah-un hung from two ropes, with all of his limbs tied together and his mouths tied shut. Shippo was completely unconscious.

 

Sesshomaru had killed the Naraku puppet and was also staring at the setup. InuYasha remembered the speed with which his brother could travel and swallowed his pride.

 

“You can move fast enough to save at least two of my friends after you save yours,” he said through gritted teeth. But Sesshomaru turned weary eyes to his brother and InuYasha saw his chest heaving. He faintly heard the weak thudding of his heart. Killing the puppet took almost no energy, it hadn't even moved. But they had been forced to damn near kill the youkai to subdue him long enough to do this.

 

“I am not certain that I can save even Rin, Jaken and Ah-un. But we do not have time to discuss it.” While they had been talking, Rin had gone limp, her face a horrid color. They had no time to even think, they simply had to react. InuYasha looked at Miroku and Sango apologetically. Neither looked surprised, only defeated. “I am moving now, make your choice and keep up with me.” An idea occurred to him as he considered his brother's words and he unsheathed Tetsusaiga as Sesshomaru blurred towards Rin. As the child hit the ground, the blade swung. InuYasha attacked at the same time. Tetsusaiga split the blade in half and he had to turn and run quickly to grab Shippo before one of the sides cut through his little body. InuYasha moved as fast as he could, tearing through the ropes. He saw his brother cut down Kagome as he sliced Miroku free. Soon, all were coughing air into their lungs but Shippo. InuYasha didn't know what to do. The little fox wasn't breathing.

 

“Come on, Shippo, this isn't how you should die!” He shook the kitsune, but the little body moved with the boneless grace of the dead. He could hear no heartbeat. He was too late. “Shippo…” he whispered, suddenly feeling horrible for every time he hit the little fox. He had looked on him as a little brother—he certainly acted like one. And now, to have him die…

 

“Stand aside and stop your weeping, brother, before someone thinks you a woman,” Sesshomaru said from behind him. InuYasha spun around; ready to knock what was left of his brother's head off his shoulders, when he saw the youkai had Tenseiga unsheathed. He stepped back and let Sesshomaru swing the blade. They watched as Shippo sat up and looked around, confusion etched into his features. Then his eyes went wide and he pointed. Kagura had Kagome and was flying away on her damned feather.

 

“Kagome!” InuYasha screamed. He didn't wait another moment, he chased after Kagura. After a moment, Sesshomaru appeared beside him.

 

“Do not think you will finish Naraku on your own, InuYasha. I will have his head.”

 

“I don't give a fuck about any of that right now,” InuYasha hissed at his brother. “All I want is to get Kagome back.” InuYasha clamped his mouth shut so fast he nearly bit his tongue. He hadn't meant to say that.

 

“I cannot say I am better than you in the company I keep any longer, but at least the ningen girl serves me. I do not serve her.”

 

“Yet you let Naraku escape a year ago when your kid was in danger,” InuYasha shot back. His animosity right that minute was concentrated on Naraku. He didn't really care about his brother's words or even his presence. Everything he had fought against was happening. Kagome was in danger; they were using her against him. Naraku was leading him into a trap and he was running as fast as he could to it.

 

They reached the valley where Naraku sat in wait. In his horrid clutches hung Kagome by one clawed appendage.

 

Through the storm we reach the shore

 

Kagome had small bruises all over her arms and legs from the rough treatment she was receiving. A tentacle held her ankles so she couldn't kick the demon holding her. Naraku smirked.

 

“So you've come, InuYasha. And brought your big brother to help you, how touching. I just love family reunions.”

 

“Let her go, Naraku!” InuYasha demanded, cutting easily through Naraku's barrier with the red blade of his sword. Naraku's eyes narrowed. He lifted a dagger to Kagome's throat and InuYasha froze. Sesshomaru stopped an arm's length away and glared at Naraku's fifth arm, which held Toukijin.

 

“Sometimes it is good to call back a part of myself,” Naraku said, stroking the side of the blade with yet another limb as he noticed Sesshomaru's gaze. InuYasha couldn't figure out what was an arm and what was a leg in the mess of Naraku's body. It was no longer the writhing mass of putrid demon body parts that it had once been, though. Now it was a solid mass of deadly extremities. He looked much like a spider beneath his torso, but no spider had tentacles or hands like this one. Naraku cut Kagome with the dagger, making her gasp. He slid the blade up and down her arm, leaving little cuts behind.

 

“Let her go, you bastard!” InuYasha yelled again. He hated feeling helpless more than anything. Naraku smiled and threw Kagome behind him, suddenly rushing at InuYasha with Toukijin. Tetsusaiga met Toukijin in the air and Sesshomaru did not wait for his opponent to notice him. He sliced into Naraku with his poison claws, tearing off an arm. Unfortunately, it grew back, lifted the one he had just removed and hit him with it. Meanwhile, InuYasha sliced off legs and arms and even a part of Naraku's body, but it all just kept growing back, much to his frustration.

 

“Sesshomaru!” Kagura yelled. The taiyoukai looked over at her. “You must kill this boy so Naraku has no body to inhabit when your brother finally cuts his damn head off!” Naraku froze and spun, glaring with hatred at Kagura. She took a step back, her hand going to her throat. Sesshomaru looked at Kohaku, the boy he had been told to kill. “Kill him and the connection by cutting out the shard!” Kagura screamed before she lost the ability to form coherent words. Then she just screamed as Naraku killed her from a distance. Sesshomaru wasted no time and tore the shard from Kohaku's back, which the boy had so helpfully presented to him.

 

“No!” InuYasha screamed, but it was too late. Kohaku fell dead and Sesshomaru held the jewel fragment, covered in blood, up to the light of the dawn.

 

“Kill him, fool!” Sesshomaru yelled at his brother. InuYasha turned to Naraku, but it was too late. Naraku was backing away, holding Kagome in front of his body, one clawed hand over her mouth, a tentacle around her waist.

 

“A fool, yes,” Naraku hissed. “I would have been content to merely kill the girl before,” he continued, and then his tentacle crept up her body, sliding across her chest. Her eyes went wide and her angry, muffled screams filled InuYasha's ears. “Now I think I will use her for anything I please before I kill her.” His tentacle slid back down her body and started to disappear beneath her skirt and InuYasha lost it. A red haze clouded his vision and he was aware of nothing but the feel of flesh tearing under his claws and how good it felt. Then the haze cleared and he was lying on his back, Kagome weeping on his chest.

 

“I was wondering if Tenseiga had failed again,” Sesshomaru said from somewhere to his left. InuYasha turned his head, feeling sensation return to his body. Unfortunately, that meant a lot of pain.

 

“What do you mean `again'?” InuYasha asked as he sat up, ignoring the throbbing of his body. Kagome sat back on her knees and wiped her face with the back of her hands. InuYasha followed Sesshomaru's gaze to the fallen Kagura. Kohaku was starting down at her body. “You tried to bring that witch back?” he asked, incredulously.

 

“A curiosity. She did die for helping us, brother.”

 

“Is Naraku…” InuYasha looked around, hoping to see pieces of Naraku scattered throughout the valley. Indeed, the pieces were there, but not enough of them.

 

“He fled… again.”

 

“Take the boy back to his sister,” InuYasha said, turning his back on his brother as he stood. Sesshomaru looked between InuYasha and Kagome, and then turned and headed back towards the parties they left behind, Kohaku following with his head down. Kagome turned to InuYasha, curious as to why they weren't following. InuYasha turned to her, knowing he would regret what he was about to say.

 

You give it all but I want more

 

“Go home, Kagome.”

 

“What?” Kagome had expected a lot of things, but not this. She thought they were past this.

 

InuYasha had turned into a demon, dropping Tetsusaiga like it was filthy when Naraku's tentacle had slid up her skirt. He didn't even have time to molest her before InuYasha had transformed and torn into him. Sesshomaru had stood back, obviously surprised by his brother. Naraku had torn out InuYasha's heart while the hanyo had been digging at his throat, having torn off several arms and legs, including the one that held Kagome herself. She had been frightened, but when Naraku had turned to her after killing him, all she felt was cold. Her entire world had fallen away and she felt as though she were spinning in the void that remained. Then Naraku had run when Sesshomaru had lifted Toukijin from one of the torn appendages. Sesshomaru sheathed Toukijin and pulled out Tenseiga in an instant, grabbing his brother's heart and putting it back in his chest before he cut through the air and InuYasha's body. The wound over his heart closed, but nothing else had happened. Kagome ran to him, crying, and threw her body on his, willing him to wake up. She had seen Sesshomaru revive Kohaku and fail to revive Kagura and feared the worst.

 

“Don't you understand, baka?” InuYasha yelled. “If you're back there, he can't get you.”

 

“If I'm back there, I can't help you!” she yelled back. InuYasha was shaking his head.

 

“I can't do this. Killing you is one thing, but when he…” InuYasha's eyes flashed red for a moment, but Kagome didn't give ground. She had sheathed Tetsusaiga to him herself when she had first heard his heart beat. He wouldn't transform again. Certainly not against her and not over a memory. But she had never seen him so angry before. “I won't let him have you!” InuYasha yelled, grabbing her arm painfully and letting his bangs fall across his eyes, shielding them from her.

 

“You didn't. He didn't even really touch me—”

 

“That's not the point!” InuYasha's voice broke and Kagome bit her lip. “I love you, damnit! And he knows it!” InuYasha brought a hand up to push his hair back, lifting his eyes to glare at her. She was frozen by his words, hearing them echo in her mind. “You're a liability. He'll control me with you. Because I'll do anything to keep that bastard from touching you.” He grabbed her other shoulder and shook her lightly. “Anything! Do you understand?” Kagome understood all right. Her first love, her first declaration of love, had been ruined by that monster. InuYasha had been hiding his feelings because of what Naraku had done the last time he discovered the hanyo's love. It didn't even approach the least of things that Naraku had done, not even that he had done to Kagome herself. But she was a seventeen-year-old-girl and though not as irrational as a fifteen-year-old, you just didn't get in the way of a teenage girl in love. She met his eyes and watched as he blinked and the look he got right before she said `sit' crossed his features. She had no idea what she must have looked like to made him so fearful, but she wanted Naraku to see it.

 

“Then don't let him,” she said, challenging him. “I always thought you were strong enough to protect me. Are you telling me I was wrong? That I've wasted over two years of my life with you?” InuYasha's eyes widened. “If you love me, damnit, then show me!” InuYasha blinked in surprise. Kagome seldom swore. He took a step back. `Show her? What does she mean?' he thought in confusion. `Does she want me to kiss her?' Whatever Kagome meant by it, though, she didn't give him time to think. She stalked off into the woods in the direction that Sesshomaru had gone, leaving InuYasha to his all-to-familiar confusion.

 

And I'm waiting for you

 

Their supplies had been depleted, Naraku had left the mountains and was hiding again and Sango wanted some time to help her brother adjust to his newfound memories, so Kagome went home. She made sure InuYasha knew it wasn't because he told her to. But she wasn't coming back until he came to get her. He had let her stay longer than ever before and she actually finished the school year. She had six weeks of relatively light homework before she started her senior year of high school. She was happy that her mother wasn't wasting money on her tuition for at least the last two months of school. She had no time for juku most of the year, so she was planning on attending yobiko after her senior year before entering university. She wasn't certain that she would go to university, though. She knew most of her friends were going to Jr. College and after wasting two years on yobiko, she might just prefer to spend only two years in college. She knew there was no way she could pass the entrance exams to the University of Tokyo, anyway, and she didn't really want to be far from her mother, after all she had done for Kagome over the past two years. She had barely passed the entrance exams for her high school!

 

Kagome saw her eighteenth birthday fast approaching and wondered if InuYasha would come before then. He had never left her longer than a week before. Two months was ridiculous. She was beginning to think he really wouldn't come back. Several times, she walked to the well and contemplated going through. She did once, to make certain it still worked. She popped out of the well and no one was there. InuYasha had almost always been waiting for her. She had jumped back down and crawled out into her own time after a few minutes. It occurred to her later that it had been the night of the new moon, so it was possible he was just in hiding. So she kept waiting for him to grow tired of being without her and come for her. After all, he had said he loved her, didn't that mean he wanted to spend time with her?

 

Hojo had almost become a pest once she was back in school full time. When she had told him she had a boyfriend the year before, just so she could stop dashing his hopes, he had taken it… well. After he returned to school a week later, he began dating everything in a skirt. Kagome had been shocked, to say the least. He was still very nice to her, still brought her presents, but no longer asked her out on dates. She was both relieved and worried for him. Certainly, having a new girlfriend every week couldn't be healthy! Occasionally, he would flaunt girl-of-the-week in Kagome's face, but she would just smile politely and not bother to remember the girl's name. After all, it would be a different one in a few days. She couldn't figure out if he was trying to play hard to get or if he really was that dissatisfied with every girl he dated.

 

With or without you

With or without you

 

The first cherry tree blossomed and floated its petals on the wind and InuYasha didn't come. The new school year started and Kagome still didn't hear from InuYasha. Kagome was almost frantic when she woke up on her birthday and he still wasn't there. She didn't get out of bed; she just rolled over and cried. He really wasn't coming for her. Which meant that either he really meant to leave her out of the rest of the quest, or he was dead. She couldn't handle either eventuality and she cried out all her frustrations into her pillow. Buyo came and purred against her head for a while, trying to comfort her, but it was no use. Her mother came upstairs to call her to breakfast, but heard Kagome's tears and instead sat by her daughter and rubbed her back until she fell back asleep.

 

Kagome opened her eyes, her head hurting from crying earlier and screamed. A pair of bright yellow eyes receded and yelled back. Kagome rubbed her eyes, unable to believe them. So she did what InuYasha did when he didn't believe his eyes, she sniffed. Dirt, forest, fresh air and yep, just a hint of sweat. It was InuYasha! Kagome was torn between screaming at him, crying and hugging him. She settled for staring at him. He hadn't called her stupid or yelled at her beyond his initial shout of surprise at being screamed at.

 

I can't live

With or without you

 

“Happy Birthday, Kagome,” he said softly. He held out something to her. She pulled the strange red cloth off of it and gasped. It was a curious dagger like none she had ever seen. Usually, she wasn't much for a bladed weapon, not being strong enough to fight hand to hand and preferring the distance of the bow, but there had been a few times where her life would have been easier if she had possessed a personal dagger like this. It was lightweight and almost white, like pure silver. But the metal was hard and sharp looking and seemed to be carved of one piece, if the handle hadn't been some sort of bone. The hilt was carved into a dragon; the bumps of its body fitting her hand almost like a glove. Four small spikes curved up from the guard, towards the blade.

 

“It's beautiful,” she whispered. He smiled.

 

“It warns you when there's a demon nearby,” he said. “Apparently, it doesn't do the same for a hanyo.” She looked up at his wry smile.

 

“What's it made from?” she asked, assuming it was a demon bone, like his sword and Sango's Hiraikotsu. He looked down shyly, the smile quirking a little.

 

And you give yourself away

 

“My fang,” he answered. “Totosai made it for you, special. Look,” he instructed, taking the dagger from her, and then stabbing her with it. She shrieked before she realized that it hadn't hurt her. She took it and pushed it into her hand a few times.

 

“It doesn't cut? Is it like Tenseiga?” she asked, confused.

 

“It cannot harm a ningen,” he explained, then slid it over his own arm, causing blood to well up and spill. She blinked at the blood and touched it, unhappy that he had hurt himself to demonstrate. He touched her cheek and she met his eyes again. “I'm sorry I took so long. Thank you for waiting.” Kagome's mouth dropped open.

 

“Okay, now I know this is a dream,” she said, laughing.

 

“Why?” he asked, obviously confused.

 

“Because my InuYasha never says `thank you,'” she responded reasonably.

 

“I just meant that you not being around to worry about meant that I was able to get done faster than if you'd been pestering me to help every little sob story that came along!” He huffed. Kagome grinned for a moment, and then frowned as his words sank in.

 

“You could have come back and told me what you were doing instead of leaving me here to worry about you!” she yelled, giving into her frustration.

 

“What's there to worry about? Without you getting me into trouble, I was fine!” he retorted.

 

“Oh, so then you're happier without me!” she shouted.

 

“That's not what I said at all!” he roared. And so they continued, until Kagome's mom broke in to invite them down for Kagome's birthday dinner.

 

And you give yourself away

 

InuYasha hadn't come back sooner because there was no reason. Sango had just come back with Kohaku, who was sullen and quiet, but judging by the happiness in Sango's eyes, this was an improvement. Shippo had apparently spent most of his time with Miroku, who had resumed the life he led before he met InuYasha and Kagome. InuYasha had spent almost of his time tracking down Naraku and a portion having Kagome's birthday present crafted. He also meant it as a courtship gift, but he didn't explain that to her. He was still embarrassed by his outburst four months ago. He wanted to ask her permission before he declared the dual nature of the gift. That way, if she rejected him, he could leave it with her as just a birthday present, but know that she carried a part of him and that it made her a little safer. And if she accepted… He refused to consider that possibility. He didn't want to get his hopes up only to have his heart ripped out again. Certainly, she had once told him that she loved him, but it was over a year ago and it was to bring him back from his demonic state. She hadn't said it when he told her and he considered that a bad sign.

 

And you give

And you give

 

She was griping about the lack of hot baths in the feudal era, something she hadn't worried about, had even possibly blocked from her mind, while she was living in her own time. She stepped out of the water, which was too cold for Sango to feel the need to join her. Sango tended to wait until they were at a hot springs whenever possible. But the next one was a good week away and Kagome wasn't waiting that long to bathe. She pulled on her clothes and fingered the dagger InuYasha had given her. She still hadn't been given a chance to try it out. The path they walked was vacated, due to Naraku's passing. The blade was called Youtsuitouga: demon-hunting fang.

 

“You'll get to use it soon,” InuYasha said from above her. Kagome looked up, startled. She thought about `sitting' him for spying on her, but decided against it. It wouldn't have been the first time he saw her naked. She hoped it wouldn't be the last. She blushed with the thought. “Naraku's not far now. Whatever he was doing in those mountains, we interrupted, showed up too soon. I think he's unsettled now. I killed one of his incarnations looking for him and Miroku killed another. Whatever he was doing to shield from us is gone,” he reiterated. Kagome nodded.

 

“So you think this next time will be it?”

 

“I know it will,” he said, grinning. Kagome smiled up at him. “Kagome…” he took a deep breath, but didn't say anything and eventually, he just let it out.

 

“I can't believe Sango and Miroku are going to get married,” Kagome said happily. The two had revealed the news a few nights before.

 

“Yeah, I can't imagine either of 'em ever getting married. Think Miroku will stick to just one woman?”

 

“I think Sango will make sure of it,” Kagome answered with a laugh.

 

“May I court you?” InuYasha blurted. He obviously hadn't meant to say it that way, judging by the expression on his face. But Kagome didn't care how he asked, she grinned wide as she thought that she probably wouldn't have believed him asking any other way. Her grin faded to a small smile.

 

“If you want,” she replied shyly.

 

“Well of course I want to! Why else would I ask?” he snapped and she realized he was trying to cover his embarrassment. “That's part of why I had Youtsuitouga made. I wanted it to be a courting gift as well, but…”

 

“But what?”

 

“I didn't want to say anything if you weren't interested, but I wanted you to have it.”

 

“Thank you,” she said softly. He hopped down from his tree and stepped close to her. She tilted her head back and closed her eyes when she saw him lean in. His lips actually touching hers were still a surprise. She had kissed him before, but this was different. This was InuYasha kissing her. She melted into the embrace she had wanted to feel for months and forgot about everything else in their lives; at least for that evening.

 

And you give yourself away

 

Naraku's own barrier gave him away. He was still rebuilding strength from their last encounter. They were praying he hadn't created another vessel, but from what Kohaku told them, it hadn't been easy for him to even use the boy as one and had taken a longer time to prepare than he had been given this time. Sesshomaru showed up for the final battle with Jaken at his side. Ah-un was guarding Rin again, keeping her safe from Naraku. Kagome had been given a few chances to try her new blade. It did indeed glow, with a fine golden light, whenever a hostile youkai approached. Shippo didn't ever set it off and neither did Sesshomaru. It apparently only glowed around youkai who meant her harm. And it sliced through demon flesh like paper.

 

It was glowing obscenely bright against Naraku standing in front of them. The bladed battle was not one she was a part of. She watched as Sesshomaru, InuYasha and Sango all hacked away at the monster, waiting for her moment. She had her bow ready, waiting until she had a clear shot at the jewel that sat in a well-guarded portion of his chest. He didn't offer it easily and Kagome couldn't hit it with the first arrow she sent flying. It was deflected by the hard shield of his skin there. She needed to cut it completely away. So she took an insane chance, clutching Youtsuitouga in her fist and charged him. He watched her coming with curiosity, but was distracted by a blow from Tetsusaiga. InuYasha yelled at her, but she ignored him, plunging her dagger into the hard tissue. She cut away at it until she could clearly see the glow of the jewel, then she was flying through the air, held aloft by a furious Naraku. He pulled her body in front of his own and the battle stopped.

 

“Move and she dies,” he hissed. She felt a warm wetness from his blood trickling down her back and she had an idea. She clutched Youtsuitouga and pointed it at her heart.

 

“I won't be your shield!” Kagome yelled, then plunged the harmless blade into her chest. She curled around it as Naraku dropped her and lay very still. InuYasha screamed her name and did exactly what she needed him to do. He lured Naraku away from her `body' and resumed fighting, feigning grief over her `death.' Sesshomaru seemed to believe she was dead, because he approached, beginning to sheath Toukijin, but she lifted a finger to her lips in the universal sign for `be quiet'. He froze, then nodded and joined the battle with his brother. While they had Naraku distracted, Kagome went for her bow. She pulled it back after waving to InuYasha to redirect the fight again. InuYasha feinted around, spinning Naraku. The monster looked up just a second too late as the arrow flew through the air. It connected with the jewel and popped it out the other side.

 

“No!” Naraku screamed. He turned to run, but there was a son of the great InuTaisho on either side of him, an enraged set of youkai exterminator siblings, a cursed monk, a brave little kitsune, a fiery two-tailed cat demon and, of course, Kagome, surrounding him. He certainly didn't go quietly. The last moments of Miroku's kazaana sucked in his head, tossed to him by Sesshomaru, who had severed it, and then it was all over. Not a one of them wasn't bruised or bleeding, but they were happier than they had been in their entire lives. Miroku grabbed Sango and spun her around in his arms, both of them laughing with the relief that their lives could finally go on. He set her down and Sango pulled Kohaku into a hug, which he returned after only a moment's hesitation, asking if it was really over.

 

Sesshomaru didn't say a word, he merely turned and walked away, Jaken dancing at his heels.

 

But what caught Kagome's attention was the look in InuYasha's eyes just before he claimed her mouth with his own.

 

My hands are tied

My body bruised, she's got me with

Nothing to win and

Nothing left to lose

 

After the battle, InuYasha didn't know what to do with himself. They had a jewel that was whole save three shards. Two were in Koga's legs and one was in a necklace around Kagome's neck. The rest of the jewel was in InuYasha's hand. Kagome had just given it to him. He needed the last three pieces to become a full demon, but he wasn't really interested in looking, for some reason he didn't really understand. It had been his life's goal for so long to possess and use it that having it seemed like a letdown. He dropped it on the ground as Kagome walked in, wearing a kimono a local girl had loaned her. Her clothes had been ripped to shreds unfit to be seen in during the battle. She had cut the hole above her heart herself. The kimono was a soft green that didn't remind InuYasha of Kikyo in the slightest and he was glad.

 

He had met with the dead miko in secret the night before and told her to be in peace, but never to come near himself or Kagome again. She hadn't said a word, only walked off, her soul collectors circling about her. He knew a day would come when he would have to let go completely and lay the doll to her final rest, giving Kagome back the missing part of her soul, but it was still too soon for him to do so.

 

Kagome smiled and blushed, tugging at the kimono self-consciously. He didn't understand how she could be embarrassed about a kimono when she usually ran around in next to nothing. He held his hand out to her and she took it, allowing him to pull her down into his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and breathed in her scent, unable to believe he had once mistaken it for Kikyo's. He knew some of it was her bathing habits. When Kagome returned from her world, she always smelled strongly of flowers and fruit. But after a while in his time, she mingled in the scent of a river and fresh air.

 

She touched the bruises on his arm, leaning down to kiss them lightly. He buried his face in her hair for a moment, breathing deeply. She had the softest hair he had ever felt. She insisted it was because of something called `shampoo'. He didn't care why it was, to him, it was just another part of Kagome. He leaned back against the wall, enjoying the warmth that spread from her body into his.

 

“Aishiteru,” he whispered.

 

And you give yourself away

 

“I love you, too, InuYasha,” she whispered back.

 

And you give yourself away

 

He slid his hand down to the tie of the obi, gently working it loose. He felt her stiffen for a moment and he paused, waiting to see what she would do. When he didn't get slapped, sat or screamed at, he released the garment. She turned and sat up on her knees, seeking his lips. He caught her seeking mouth with his and breathed in her taste. He felt small hands pushing at his haori and he smiled, stopping her for a moment.

 

And you give

And you give

 

“Will you stay with me, Kagome?” he asked. She froze, staring up at him. Her hands began to tremble.

 

And you give yourself away

 

“I can't, InuYasha,” she whispered. His blood went cold, losing the warmth he had taken from her. Something lodged in his throat and he wondered that he could still breathe.

 

With or without you

With or without you

I can't live

With or without you

 

“Why?” he whispered back, choking on the word.

 

“My life is five hundred years away. Why can't you stay with me?” she asked. His eyes grew wide and he swallowed the obstruction. He suspected it was his heart.

 

“Is that what this is about? The way I asked? Bakana, I don't care where we are. Just as long as I'm with you.”

 

“Then yes, InuYasha. I'll always stay with you. As long as I live. Just one thing.”

 

“What?”

 

“If you call me stupid one more time, I'm going to s—”

 

“Alright! I get it,” he said quickly, stopping her command before his face met the ground. She smiled and resumed kissing him. As his haori slid from his shoulders, he had one last question. “Have you ever done this before?” She sat back, her mouth open.

 

“What are you talking about? Of course not! When would I?”

 

“Well, I thought maybe… with the way Koga chased after you…” He knew he had made a mistake by the look in her eyes. Sometimes, he just didn't know when to keep his mouth shut.

 

“OSUWARI!” Kagome roared. InuYasha saw the light of the rosary beads a second before he hit the ground and groaned. If only he could learn to shut up…

 

With or without you

With or without you

I can't live

With or without you

With or without you

 

When he looked up, he expected to see Kagome walking away, but she was sitting in front of him, a gleam in her eye. “Did I knock some sense into you?” she asked.

 

“I'm sorry?” he said, hoping it was what she wanted. She grinned at him and he pushed himself to his hands and knees, then knelt and leaned forward so he was face to face with her.

 

“Then where were we?” she asked. Startled, but not at all upset, InuYasha reminded her. He could definitely learn to live with 'sit' if he was soothed in this way every time. As long as he never had to live without Kagome again.

 

The End.

_________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________

List of Japanese used:

 

Hanyo: half-youkai

Youkai: spirit or apparition

Miko: priestess

Ningen: mortal; human

Baka: stupid; idiot

Youkai: spirit, apparition... commonly translated as 'demon'

Tetsusaiga: "iron crushing fang", InuYasha's sword.
Shikon No Tama: "Jewel of the Four Souls"

Shikon no Kakera: broken pieces of the Shikon no Tama

Tenseiga: “Heavenly Fang” (Sesshomaru's sword)

Toukijin: Sesshomaru's second sword
Juku: a `cram' school attended by Japanese students in addition to regular classes

Yobiko: a `cram' school designed to prepare students for taking college/university entrance exams

Hiraikotsu: "the bone that flies back", Sango's boomerang

Youtsuitouga: “fang that tracks down and kills demons”; Kagome's dagger, invented for this story

Kazaana: wind tunnel

Aishiteru: I love you (personal)