InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Yellow Brick Road ❯ Falling Short of Rainbows ( Chapter 13 )

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN INYUSHA AND COMPANY, NOR DO I OWN WIZARD OF OZ.

AN: Thank you to SleepingChickenNugget and ktshabatie for beta-ing.



Chapter 13: Falling Short of Rainbows

He had long since left the breeder on her futon to rest. The kit had nestled into her form, and Sesshoumaru had debated on whether or not to allow the kit to stay. In the end, he decided that Kagome deserved the comfort that she was deriving from the kit.

When he exited the room where the mother of his pup was resting, he had briefly considered visiting Miyu again. The decision against it was easily made when he remembered how little satisfaction was gained from the last visit. Besides, he had a certain inu guard to track down.

While the kit’s arrival this night had been most opportune, it did not excuse Tadashi’s failure to watch the kit. Sesshoumaru headed towards the barracks. It was time to have a good round in the dojo.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

Tadashi wondered if this was how Kuro felt, only hours before. As Tadashi stared at the rectangular piece of paper just outside of his reach, he pondered his own stupidity for falling for the same trick he had helped the kit place on at least ten others this very day.

He was dead. He had let childhood antics get in the way of his responsibilities. There was no way that Yuichi had not made his way to the breeder by this point. That meant that there was nothing to protect Tadashi from his lord’s wrath in failing to properly to care for the kit. Damn.

The depressing thoughts had taken away all the mirth gained from tormenting fellow soldiers. When he thought mood his could not get any lower, he realized a presence was approaching that he had hoped to not see for a while.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

Sesshouma ru had not had a day filled with so many hilarious incidents in as long as he could remember. Too bad none of the slapstick comedy would lighten his current mood.

“Tadashi, how do you explain your disgrace to the West?” Sesshoumaru’s voice was sharp; he was in no mood to deal with foolish dogs.

“Because my lord, I allowed myself to be tricked by a kit?” There was nothing but respect in Tadashi’s voice.

“Hn.” Sesshoumaru walked over and ripped the piece of paper that was ensuring Tadashi stayed pinned. “You will meet this Sesshoumaru in the dojo in five minutes. There is much to be done.”

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

Kag ome sat comfortably under the shade of the sakura trees with Rin. Neither woman knew where to begin. Kagome was the first to break the silence.

“Rin-chan, may I ask how you and Miroku ended up together?” Kagome knew it was none of her business but she could not comprehend how they would ever have the chance to fall in love.

“I was in a village to the south of here visiting a potential future husband. At any rate, I was not overjoyed at the prospect of being married off to some merchant’s son, but Sesshoumaru-sama had deemed me of marrying age.” Rin had a small smile on her face as she stretched her body into a more comfortable position for the story. “While I was looking at some wares in the town market, I suddenly felt a hand upon my person.”

“Oh no. He stilled tried to use the ‘cursed hand’ act?” Kagome could not help but have her heart lightened by Rin exuberance.

“Hai. However, he quickly apologized to me for any slight when he recognized who I was. He offered to accompany me to meet my future husband as the ‘protector of my modesty.’ I could not believe he managed to say it with a straight face.” Both women were giggling at the well-known antics of a rather amorous monk. “However, Master Jaken did not take well to Miroku’s presence and immediately proceeded to beat him with the staff of two heads. As the morning had been anything but boring, the afternoon of proper introductions was very tedious.

“The merchant decided that his family would need more compensation if he was going to allow his son to marry a woman of ‘questionable morals.’ Needless to say, the meeting was a brief one after that, and I am not sure how well the merchant’s family faired after his slight to Sesshoumaru-sama.” Rin shook her head trying to dispel any foul images of the possible fate of the merchant. Greed was indeed, a very ugly thing.

“Oh, but Rin-chan, I still don’t understand how Miroku groping you leads to matrimony.” If Miroku was still in his lecherous ways, how would he have ever convinced Sesshoumaru that he was the proper man for the tai-youkai’s ward?

“When we left the village, Miroku-kun followed us, stating that he was lending his expertise to help ensure my safe return. The journey was not long, but I often found myself laughing at Miroku-kun’s antics. It had been a while since I felt that much joy, it was almost as if I were a child again picking flowers in a field.

“When we finally reached the Citadel, Miroku-kun requested that he be granted a private audience with Sesshoumaru-sama. To this day, I have no I idea what was said behind those closed doors; all I know is that upon his emergence from the parlor Miroku-kun walked right up to me. He took my hands in his, looked deeply into my eyes, and asked; ‘Rin-san, would you do me the honor of bearing my child?’ I was so flustered that he would dare do something so unkempt in front of Sesshoumaru-sama that I slapped him.” The smile on Rin’s face as she retold the story of her husband’s proposal warmed Kagome in a way that she had not felt since before her family’s death. “His response to my reaction was simple. ‘If you refuse to have my children, then I don’t know how well this marriage is going to work.’ His smile was so charming and warm that I knew it would not take me long to fall in love with the man who was to be my husband.

“I asked him shortly after we were married why he wanted me and do you know what he said?” Kagome shook her head in the negative, too enthralled with the possible answer that she did not have the ability to respond verbally. “He told me that I held happiness in my soul that made all the horrors he had faced worthwhile, as long as that happiness did not fade. Every day since that one, he has always made sure to make me laugh at least once. I do not delude myself into thinking that there was some sort of great love between us before our wedding but I know that before our grave there will be.”

Kagome looked at the woman before her and it hit her, “Rin-chan, where was I when you grew up?”

Rin got a sad look in her eyes; it was hard to see the once happy miko such a ghost of herself. “Time does not stop just because we lose ourselves.”

“Time…,” Kagome’s eyes glassed over as she stared at some distant horizon, “so fleeting, yet infinite. I think that there is never enough now, too much then, and unknown amounts of if. If I fix my transgressions I still don’t believe my ruby slippers will carry me home.”

“Kagome-sama, how did you become the breeder?” Rin was done with tact. It was obvious that the woman’s grasp of sanity was transient at best.

“That is a tale I wish never to tell. I followed the yellow brick road and was prepared to spend my destiny at its end. I don’t think that Sesshoumaru-sama appreciated my sacrifice.” Kagome could not face the girl who had idolized her rapist so. He was not a horrible being that deserved to lose the respect of those closest to him; Kagome could not destroy Rin’s image of her lord.

“Kagome-sama, Sesshoumaru-sama sees himself as your alpha. You can judge him on the standards of human society, but that is fair to neither of you.” Rin had shifted to hold the other woman’s hands. Rin knew more about her lord than most could claim, and she knew that his treatment of this woman last night was more than just instinct. “Sesshoumaru-sama is far older than many here want to believe. Master Jaken knows the reasons and history of it far better than I do, but you need to understand that the light in which you view his actions distorts the intent behind them.”

Kagome looked at the girl turned woman before her, the tears spilling from her eyes. How had things come to this? When did the rainbow turn back into the rain cloud? “I don’t understand any of it. I don’t want to hate him, but I can’t forgive him so easily. He took the last of my purity. Why couldn’t he leave me in that cave? It was what was best for everyone, but now our baby is offered up as some penance for our failures.” Kagome folded over on herself and silently sobbed into her own lap.

“What do you mean the pup is at risk?” Rin was now very worried. If all she had heard about Sesshoumaru-sama was correct, then there was no telling what would happen if an inu-youkai of his age lost his first born.

Kagome did not bother to raise her head. She did not have the energy necessary to accomplish that feat. “The timing of the conception left the baby vulnerable. If I do not purge the link between the child and Amatsu-Mikaboshi, then this child will not be Sesshoumaru-sama’s pup, but Mikaboshi’s bastard. A tool for the dark Kami that needs to be destroyed.”

Rin withdrew from the distraught woman. What had this being ever done to deserve such a fate? Rin had no idea how to comfort her; she had no idea how to begin to assuage the fears running rampant through Kagome’s soul.

This was the scene he perceived when Yuichi approached the two women. He had heard the end of their conversation, and while he did not mean to eavesdrop he was glad that he did.

“Breeder-sama, the hope is still there. The aura fluctuates, so Mikaboshi has not been able to form a complete link with the pup. In addition, the pup’s sire is strong. He will be able to protect both you and the pup.” Yuichi had never met a youkai with such power as the tai-youkai; there could be nothing strong enough to threaten this great dog.

Kagome heard the confidence with which Yuichi spoke and knew that the kit believed whole-heartedly what he was saying. She felt the smile that wanted to spread across her face. She reached out to the kit and brushed his bangs from his eyes, so green. “His strength is great, and you are right: I should not doubt it.”

Her words were empty, but she could not let herself despair in front of the youth any longer.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

Miroku was not sure what his hanyo friend wanted of him. Inuyasha was right; the Kagome that they once knew was lost. However, Miroku was not sure that it was possible to salvage her. What was with the hanyo’s propensity to become entangled with damned women?

“My friend, what is it you wish me to accomplish by being here?”

“Feh.” Inuyasha had no idea. Hell, that was why he fetched the monk in the first place. “You’ve seen how the bastard treats her. She ain’t no bitch, she doesn’t understand. She is going to push him so hard he’ll kill her.” Inuyasha gave the appearance of a kicked puppy left out in the rain.

“Then I suggest we try and educate her instead of him.”

“Why should she have to be the one to change?”

“Inuyasha, ideally neither of them should have to change, but this situation is far from ideal. I think our best chance is to talk with Kagome about the behavior that is likely to get her killed.”

Inuyasha stared at the ground. “It's not fair; she shouldn’t have to change.”

“Inuyasha, I do not believe the Kagome you remember exists anymore. I cannot imagine what happened to her since the final battle, but the woman here is not the Kagome we knew. The Kagome we knew would never willingly accept the fate she described. Yes, Kagome was always a selfless person, but what she was willing to do is not the act of a selfless person but a desperate one.” Miroku knew he had to convince the stubborn hanyo in front of him. “I pray that we can bring back our friend. I pray that she has a chance for happiness. I pray that we win this battle against impossible odds. I pray for all these things, yet I fear that my prayers will not be answered. From what she divulged last night, she was never destined to know happiness. I fear the best we can do now is help her come to peace with the path she must walk.”

“No. I don’t wanna hear it monk. If I have to kill the Kami above, I will. She will know more than being a sacrifice for others’ sins.” Inuyasha growled the warning to his houshi friend. He would cut down all that stood in the way of her happiness. She had sacrificed enough already. She deserved better.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

“Kag ome-sama, have you acknowledged Sesshoumaru-sama as your alpha?” Rin threw subtly to the wind. The older woman did not understand anything about her position. She was going to cause embarrassment to Sesshoumaru-sama if no one took the time to explain it to her.

“Hai. He forced a public admittance of his status above me.” Kagome did not want to talk about this.

“Do you understand at all what rights you have given to him?” Rin surmised from Kagome’s horrified expression that she had no clue. “He is your alpha. It is his right, his honor, to make all the important decisions in your life. He banished Madoka-sama in order to ensure your safety.” Rin reached out to turn Kagome’s face towards hers. “If he did not want you as his breeder, than he would have allowed his mother to kill you.”

Kagome gasped at her declaration. “Wouldn’t he have to have killed his mother in return for the slight?” Kagome hated how weak her voice sounded.

“Yes, but that is far from a deterrent. In fact, many would find the old bitch’s death a bonus. She is not a pleasant being. Sesshoumaru-sama only has one niece remaining out of at least thirty nieces and nephews born. Madoka-sama’s visits to her grand pups are often timed coincidentally close to their deaths. Never was any of this proven, but there is validity in the rumors about the previous breeder.”

Kagome could not quite wrap her mind around the new information. She knew the bitch was vile, but to kill her own grandchildren? What would be gained from such an atrocity?

“Kagome-sama, I am not trying to horrify or offend you. What I want is for you to better understand what is going on around you. From everything that I gather about inu-youkai, Sesshoumaru-sama will be acting on instincts that will be nearly impossible for him to ignore. If you push him to prove his dominance, he will. He will not stop in this pursuit until he has found a method that you recognize. I gather from your previous statements that the conception of your pup was not a coming together of mutual affections.”

Rin held up her hand to forestall the other’s protests. “There is nothing that can be done to convince me that my lord is not honorable. Whatever his reasons were for entering into this union, believe me when I tell you they were honorable.

“That being said, you need to understand that you are his. The ownership of that statement carries beyond the concept of an object to be coveted. You are his to protect. You are his to honor. You are his to cherish. You are that which he will protect the fiercest. Obedience will be met with reward. Denial of his status will be corrected and punished.”

Kagome had heard enough. This was wrong. She knew that in this time women held little value, but she had not been raised with these ideals. While it was well known that men and women were not equally matched both physically, that did not make women inferior. There were several areas where women constantly outpreformed men and vice versa. However, all this intellectual babble boiled down to was one thing. She was not his whore!

“If he wanted an obedient dog, then that is what he should have impregnated. I have never and will never play the role of a subservient house-wife well.” Kagome allowed all the bitterness of every situation she had been forced to endure come through in her declaration.

“You are not a ‘house-wife’ as you say. You are mother to the future heir of the West. Do you have any idea at the feat you have accomplished? Demonesses have tried and failed for centuries to gain this position that you so easily scoff at.”

“I was never meant to be valued as a womb. I was never to have anything that was my own. Now, because of some dog that no one bothered to snip, I risk bringing to this earth a vessel for evil, the likes of which has never been seen before. Rin, you do not know what lies in the dark, the evil that creeps and pulls-“

“Yes, I do! I have died twice already. I have been pulled from the very depths of hell. DO NOT tell me of the horrors that lurk in the dark, I remember what it feels like to have them latch onto your soul.” Rin rose to her feet awkwardly, and began to head back inside. She could not listen to someone who had been presented with such great opportunity despair anymore. Before she left the other completely she turned back with one last piece of wisdom to impart. “Life is struggle and pain. The only thing that keeps us from going numb is learning to grab the moments of happiness and hold onto them with all our strength.”

Kagome stared blankly at the place where Rin’s form had disappeared. Kagome knew that she was right, but at the same time, she was wrong. To have this contradiction turn out to be the truth was beyond her comprehension. She wanted to throw herself down into the comforter on her bed and cry until her mother came to hold her.

Kagome realized that she had spent much of the last five years wanting things that would never be. Was she really a spoiled little girl who could not accept reality? Somewhere over the rainbow …

Kagome turned back to see Yuichi expectantly waiting for her to do something. She studied his face more carefully. He had done something wrong. He was well intentioned, but he had definitely done something wrong.

“Yuichi, what did you do?” The kit’s eyes grew impossibly large and his whole body trembled. Kagome almost laughed. “I am not going to hurt you. As you have just noticed, I make many mistakes. The thing to do is to face your mistakes and learn from them. So, I will ask you again, what did you do?”

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

Tadashi was sore. He had spent most of the night being the tai-youkai’s personal chew toy. Honestly, he did not realize that his body could mend so many minor wounds in such a short amount of time. He had gained one thing of insight he deemed worthy. He never wished to experience the sensation of flying ever again. Actually, that was not quite accurate. The sensation of flying did not make up for the feeling of the abrupt landings.

Now he found himself out on the road again. He had been sent to retrieve Sesshoumaru-sama’s niece. Though he was not sure why it was important to bring another high ranking female into the Citadel so shortly after a breeder had been chosen, it was not his place to question his lord. His mind wandered back to the lord’s reaction when he discovered that it had been Kuro who was chosen to escort Madoka-san to the island home.

Tadashi stopped dead in his tracks. Really, when had his brain become so useless? It was not until the Sesshoumaru-sama learned that Kuro, a young, unmated male, had been chosen to escort the used bitch to her exile that, he had demanded that his niece be brought within his watchful eye. The old bitch was crafty, but did she really think highly enough of herself to start an outright revolt against her son?

Tadashi shook his head. All he wanted to do was play tricks with the kit. He would endure being on the receiving end of the kit’s pranks occasionally, as long as they were funny.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

Sesshouma ru had been searching out the hanyo. There were things that needed to be discussed whether he wanted to or not. Jaken had been given the task of trailing his breeder.

He heard the voice of the monk and from the tone, it sounded like the houshi was trying to explain something to the stubborn hanyo. “Inuyasha, I do not believe the Kagome you remember exists anymore. I cannot imagine what happened to her since the final battle, but the woman here is not the Kagome we knew. The Kagome we knew would never willingly accept the fate she described. Yes, Kagome was always a selfless person, but what she was willing to do is not the act of a selfless person but of desperate one. I pray that we can bring back our friend. I pray that she has a chance for happiness. I pray that we win this battle against impossible odds. I pray for all these things, yet I fear that my prayers will not be answered. From what she divulged last night, she was never destined to know happiness. I fear the best we can do now is help her come to peace with the path she must walk.”

No. She would not be abandoned to that cold dirt floor. The monk would pay for his words. Sesshoumaru increased his pace to exact his retribution for his breeder. It was the hanyo’s voice that rang out next. “No. I don’t wanna hear it monk. If I have to kill the Kami above, I will. She will know more than being a sacrifice for others’ sins.”

Good, his brother understood loyalty; he would be spared. The monk looked like he was just about to reply when the nearly red-eyed tai-youkai entered the room. The monk sensed impending doom.

“Sesshoumaru-sama, I-“ Miroku’s words were cut off along with his air supply. Inuyasha tried to approach to help his friend, but was stopped by his brother’s growl.

This was the man he had deemed worthy of his ward? Would this monk be so quick to abandon Rin in her time of need? “You have one chance to tell this Sesshoumaru why you should be spared.”

Miroku was not stupid; he had quickly figured out that the very pissed dog had heard his comment and then said dog interpreted it as a threat to his pack. He hoped his words were was enough to cause pause in the angry inu-youkai’s actions. “The pup.” The words straggled out from stressed vocal cords.

Inuyasha who understood immediately what his houshi friend was trying to say. “Sesshoumaru, the more holy power that can be harnessed to cut the link to Amatsu Mikaboshi, the better.”

Sesshoumaru’s grip lessened on the houshi’s neck, though still not willing to let go until he was sure there was no threat to his bitch. “Explain your previous statement.”

Miroku took a much-needed gulp of air and then fell into an explanation of his statement to Inuyasha. “I was not trying to suggest that we allow Kagome to become what the Kami intended her to be. I was trying to impress upon Inuyasha, that the Kagome he remembers from eight years ago will probably never come back. Too much has happened to her; there is no way that she has not been tainted in some form by her constant interactions with Mikaboshi over the last five years.

“In fact, I believe the reason why she disappeared was to limit the amount of taint he could cause. If she was not interacting with anyone, then there would be no one for her to disappoint, fail, or betray-“ Miroku stared in horror at the snarling youkai before him. Never in his life had he been more afraid of soiling himself.

“This Sesshoumaru’s breeder is incapable of betraying anyone.”

“Of course not, but that does not mean she does not view her own actions as betrayals. Mikaboshi’s strong hold was around her mind, so it logically follows that the transgressions merely needed to be perceived not actual.” Please, if he survived this encounter, he swore he would never publically embarrass Rin again with his lecherous ways.

“Do you see this Sesshoumaru’s breeder as weak?”

“No, but it is not a matter of how I perceive her. The limitation here is how she perceives herself. I sense within Kagome-sama vast amounts of power, yet she does not use this power. In fact, she seems to expend most of her energy trying to seal the power away. She is scared of it for some reason. I believe, in order to move forward, the reason must be discovered and then a solution found for the root if the problem.”

Sesshoumaru backed away from the monk. He had not once tried to pass any falsehood off. It was actually impressive, because when most beings are as frightened as he was, they begin stating whatever they think their inquisitor wants to hear. The monk had enough control over his fear to answer everything honestly. Yes, the monk was a worthy match for his ward.

Turning his attention towards his brother, Sesshoumaru decided it was time for answers. “Monk, you will go tend to your wife. Brother, you will tell this Sesshoumaru everything you failed to divulge before.”

It would most likely be a long day.

*+*+*+*+*+*