InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ You Are Not Alone ❯ You Are Loved ( Chapter 25 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

This has to be one of the most emotional chapters I've written so far, and I fear it may start waterfalls, if you know what I mean. This here's a song chappie, with the song You Are Loved by Josh Groban, another personal favorite of mine, so read on and I hope you enjoy. Oh, and I don't own any rights of Inuyasha. Cause Rumiko Takahashi beat me to em.

After they finished painting the dining room wall, Inuyasha and Kagome settled down for lunch. Kagome made ramen, or as she put it, "The Inuyasha Special." But while eating, the two stayed in a rather uncomfortable silence.

Kagome couldn't seem to get over how Inuyasha touched her. Maybe it wasn't just her heart playing games on her? Inuyasha might actually have feelings for her; she could promise herself that much. Yet she wasn't rejoicing as much as she had thought she would. Inuyasha was never one without an opinion, so if he had wanted to say that he liked her, he would've said it right then. But then again, Kagome had never known what it's like to love someone. She felt her cheeks go warm as she remembered again how close they were; he had almost kissed her for goodness sake! Kagome shook her head slightly; she has to stop reading so much manga.

Inuyasha ate his noodles surprisingly slow as thoughts of Kagome and what he had done to her continued to flash through his mind. He cursed himself for getting so close to her; they were only playing around. But he couldn't stop himself from thinking how pretty...no, scratch that, gorgeous Kagome looked, and how he couldn't have noticed it before. The way her glassy eyes would sparkle whenever she was happy or angry, and how her face lit up when she smiled and laughed; he wanted to bang his head against the nearest hard object to try and get these thoughts out of his mind; these...feelings. But he just couldn't seem to escape them; what was this that he felt whenever Kagome was around. It wasn't just happiness that she was there, or relief, it was something more. He wondered and wondered and wondered what it meant until he literally felt his head hurt.

When they finished, Kagome's eye caught a picture hanging above the back yard door; it was of Inuyasha's mother. She was tending to a small, beautiful garden, wearing a big sunhat with a fitting white t-shirt and pink shorts, along with white work gloves. She was smiling warmly, holding a marigold in her hand.

"Your mother's really beautiful," Kagome commented to Inuyasha as she gazed at the picture. He looked up at it with her and grinned.

"Yeah..." Another silence filled the room. Inuyasha felt an unusual stirring in his gut and stood up from his chair, walking out the back door and sitting down on the porch. Worried, Kagome went after him and sat next to him.

"What's wrong?" she asked, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"It's nothing..." he scratched his head somewhat annoyingly. Kagome sighed.

"You miss her, don't you?"

Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
When your heart's heavy, I
I will lift it for you

He went quiet, hanging his head low, as if in shame, guilt, sadness.

Don't give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you, I
I will break it for you

"I never did tell you, did I," he asked, smirking sadly. "About my mom?"

Kagome shook her head. "I understand why."

Once again, silence. Inuyasha spoke again.

"Her name was Izayoi. My dad met her after he left his first wife, Mitsuko, when Sesshomaru was 9. They dated only for a few months until they realized how much in love they were with each other, and of course not long after, my dad married her. Soon after that, I was born.

Everybody wants to be understood
Well, I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved

"If there were ever the luckiest kid in the world, it was me. My mom was the most supportive, caring and inspirational person a guy could possibly know. When you'd look into her eyes, you would never find any judgment or accusations of character. She'd just watch you with an open mind, waiting to listen to whatever you had to say. You could be mad at the whole world, and just seeing her smile would make your problems seem to melt away. And that was something I had really needed. Because when I was a little kid, back in elementary school, I got made fun of a lot because of my hair and my eyes. I remember how'd I'd come home crying after kids at school had teased me or I even got into a bit of a scrap. She wouldn't say a word; only hold me tight as I bawled into her chest, softly stroking my hair and humming to me. And I'd eventually calm down. Even so, she did have a scary side every now and then; so scary even Sesshomaru was spooked. But whether she was mad at me, Sesshomaru or my dad, she'd eventually just smile and say "Knowing you all, no one could ever stay angry."

"You could never imagine how much she cared. Even I couldn't. But she would always remind me. My mom would always tell me at least three times a day how much she loved me. It was amazing, and a kid like me would never ask for anything more than that. She saw everyone as important, and wouldn't dare hear anything otherwise. Gods, I loved her so much..."

Don't give up...
Because you are loved.

Kagome listened to his words, feeling the tears begin to well in her eyes. But she shook them away, wanting to be strong for him. Then, she asked the question that she knew both of them would dread hearing.

"What happened to her?"

Don't give up
It's just the hurt that you hide
When you're lost inside, I
I'll be there to find you

Inuyasha swallowed a lump that had somehow developed in his throat as he hoarsely answered her:

"Two years ago, my mom got really, really sick. It wasn't like she got cancer or anything, but...she was so sick, you wouldn't believe it. For a week, she stayed in bed, coughing and wheezing, but still smiling, as if to reassure everyone that she was still the same old Izayoi. But when that week passed...so did she.

Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you, I
I will shine to guide you

"For some reason...I didn't cry. Neither did Sesshomaru. But my dad did, though, but real quietly. Even though I was really, really sad that she was gone, I didn't cry, because I took it only as a bad dream. That when I woke up that next morning, I'd find the smell of my mom cooking breakfast like she did every morning. But when I did wake up the next day...I didn't smell anything...

Everybody wants to be understood
Well, I can hear you

"And when I walked downstairs...she wasn't there...

"But I...never cried. Is it that...that I didn't care about her as much as I thought I did...?"

Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved.

Just then, something had snapped inside Inuyasha. Something began to fall from his eyes that he had not seen nor felt since childhood. Tears sprang from his eyes, falling down his cheeks in branches. He covered them with the back of his wrist, sobbing oh so quietly.

He felt vulnerable. He felt weak. And he broke right down, right in front of Kagome. He feared now that she would probably say "Oh, you poor thing," or "That's terrible!" He wanted to run away and never look back, and forever berate himself for falling apart so easily in front of her.

But he thought wrong.

Inuyasha then felt her arms wrap around his head, bringing him close to her chest, and her cheek nuzzling into his hair.

You are loved...

"I understand," she whispered gently. "It hurts when you lose someone you love; it hurts worse than a knife to the heart. But you should never be afraid or ashamed of yourself for not crying or grieving, and especially think it's because that you didn't care about her. Whether you cry or not, she will always know that you loved her, and that you always will. So it's okay to cry, and it's okay to not cry, because no matter what, there will never be a single moment in your life where you think you don't love your mother as much as she loved you."

Don't give up...
It's just the weight of the world...

Inuyasha couldn't believe what he had heard. There was no pity in Kagome's voice. Only understanding. She didn't try to ease his pain, only wanting to share it. She wanted to take part of the heavy load he carried on his heart. She wasn't judging him, but accepting him for what he felt, not asking for anything more. And that made him cry harder.

Don't give up...
Everyone needs to be heard...
You are loved...

Neither left the other for a long period of time. They continued to hold each other as Inuyasha cried. He turned all of his troubles and his confusion into sobs, and Kagome willingly listened as she nuzzled her cheek against his head. For the first time in so long, Inuyasha had found release. He had found a way to let out his anger, sadness, fear and happiness alike and not have to worry about being judged. Something that would hear and understand him unconditionally and lovingly. And that something, or someone, was Kagome.

And right at that moment, Inuyasha had realized that alien feeling that had been berating him practically since he met this girl. A feeling that he had never experienced before, that scared him out of his wits and unleashed an unfamiliar gush of warmth inside him. It was a feeling that he had been blind to by his stubborn pride.

He had realized it now...Inuyasha had fallen deeply in love with Kagome.