InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ You Darkness... ❯ Chapter 27 - The Precious Jewel in my Arms! ( Chapter 27 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

You Darkness
by Vyncent


**This story contains GRAPHIC violence, sexual content and rape! You are WARNED**

Parts of this dark, and sinister fic, will NOT be posted to FanFiction.net...
It is being posted to AdultFanFiction. net and MediaMiner. org

If you do not like such content, then please be advised that this fic may not be appealing to you. Please do not read this if such content is offensive to you.

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While this is not the most exciting chapter of the story, it is a necessary interlude to being able to continue with things as they progress. Please accept my most sincere apologies for the rather boring interlude.

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Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, nor any of the associated characters. But it ain't because I don't want or wish to do so.

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Chapter 27 - The Precious Jewel in my Arms!


He had sat and pondered the words he had heard, not just today's, but for the past few. He had to admit that he could not truly understand why he had gone to such lengths as he had to bring a sense of peace and justice to those who would commit such crimes and their victims.

Oh, he knew he had done it primarily for Kagome. He could not have sat back and left the horrible things that had been done to her go unchallenged. No one had the right to touch her, especially when they were not invited, but more importantly, when only he was permitted to even think of touching her so intimately.

That thought made him pause. Where had that come from? Why had he thought that? Looking deep within, he realized that it was not just his hanyou self, nor his just ningen self, but also his youkai self that truly believed those words to be truth. He did want her. Wanted her badly. Not so badly that he would ever consider hurting her, but just the idea of even considering such intimacy was enough to arouse him in ways he had not thought possible.

He sighed, and shifted just a bit, careful not to awaken the treasure sitting snug against his chest, safe in the warmth and protection of his arms. He had been so confused where his heart was concerned for so many years, it was almost alien to find a clear thought when it came to the two most important women in his life.

Yes, he had loved Kikyou. She was his first love, and unlike her, he had wanted her for who and what she was. She was proud, haughty, strong, almost regal in many ways. The first time she had suggested that he should use the jewel to become human, he had felt hurt that she could not accept him for who he was. Why did she want him to change himself? What was wrong with being hanyou?

But he knew the answer to that. He had spent his whole life trying to live with that problem, and had even chosen to try to acquire the jewel, in the hopes that he could correct his 'tainted' blood by becoming a full blood youkai. But Kikyou was a miko. A miko raised in a time, when most ningen thought of youkai has evil incarnate. Youkai blood was 'tainted' blood, and it as the task of many a miko to ward off such blood and purify it.

But he felt that he truly loved her. He was lonely, and so was she. He could understand that loneliness and he felt their shared bond in that loneliness. So he had finally let her convince him that his true desire was to be ningen, not youkai. But that was when everything fell apart. Naraku had taken advantage of the weakness that Kikyou had feared would happen. Betrayal, anger, hatred, blood shed, death and eternal sleep. Those had been the result of giving his heart and trust to someone else, and had left him pinned for 50 years to the Goshinbuko.

But if Kikyou's intent had been his death, why had he not died? She had shot him with one of her purifying arrows. It should have killed him. But instead he had fallen into a deep, dreamless slumber, only to awaken 50 years later, to see the apparent face of she who had betrayed him, standing right in front of him asking him if he was as strong has he bragged he was.

He had growled, his every intent to kill the one who had done this to him. His hatred was complete at that moment. But when she had claimed she was not Kikyou, and he had taken a breath to argue his disbelief that scent had filled his head, and all thoughts of the moment froze. The smell was anything but Kikyou. This Kagome, was certainly not her. Unfortunately, she looked so much like her that trying to keep them separated in his mind's eye had been torture.

He had just managed to come to some kind of grips with their obvious differences, when that stupid witch Urasue had brought Kikyou back to the land of the living. A poor soul, destined to walk the land of the living, while still being of the land of the dead. Only part of her soul in her possession, not strong enough to even move freely about without taking in the souls of the dead, cold as death, and composed only of her hatred for the perceived betrayal by the one she supposedly loved, and the bones and soil of her grave.

Over the last four years, he had fought with himself, unable to resolve his longing to be with the woman he had truly come to love. It had hurt to find that she hated him so, even after they had found out that they had not, in truth betrayed one another. They had been tricked, and it was someone else who had torn them apart. But while Kikyou had accepted that revelation, she had never given up her hatred for Inuyasha and had spent her days trying to devise the means for taking him to hell with her.

Inuyasha felt both anger and heartbreak over Kikyou's death. Kikyou's resurrected self had known this. She had played him, over, and over, and over again. Yet despite her repeated betrayals to Naraku, her repeated attempts to take Inuyasha to hell, her continued efforts to take back a soul that in truth she was no longer entitled to, and her attempts upon Kagome's life, Inuyasha still held out the hope that Kikyou could find peace. He prayed that she would being able to rest and pass on as she should have remained.

Everyone had said, she is dead, Inuyasha. But for him that was not the issue. What no one seemed to realize, was that for him, he had simply gone to sleep one day. His love was still living as far as he knew, and then he suddenly awoke. New people, new faces, old faces that were just that, old, although the landmarks were still there, even those had changed. So much had happened during that fifty year period, and yet to Inuyasha, it might as well have been overnight.

Now his first love was dead, and someone with her face, if not her personality was a part of his life. Sure, he could have walked away, but having the jewel was a stronger drive than ever. He had to become a full youkai. It was the only way that he could be more like his older brother. Accepted, strong, and unhindered by the boundaries, tortures, and betrayals of ningen feelings. He would not have to suffer heartbreak again, and he could rely on his own abilities to live a long life with the power he so longed to have.

But somewhere along the way that strange onna with the face of his first love, had without even trying, shown him just how lonely such a life could truly be. Look at Naraku, she seemed to say during that last battle just weeks ago. His whole life was about power. More and more power. Yet, he never understood the 'power' that drove the pack of Inuyasha to combine their efforts and skills and to hunt Naraku down even in the face of overwhelming odds.

He had not understood Kikyou's sacrifice when she accepted her death, asking for the jewel to be burned with her. He had not understood why Sango would have rather died than kill her own brother. He had not understood what continually drove Miroku to face each day with a cheerful smile and positive outlook, despite the knowledge that each day brought him closer to his own demise. He had not understood how Kagome, continually stayed by her friends, and Inuyasha. Stayed by him, even when she knew he loved Kikyou, and while she admitted that his going to her upset her, she only got upset because she truly loved the inu hanyou.

Inuyasha's strength and inner desire for family, Miroku's courage and determination to face life head on, Sango's wisdom and love for her friends, Shippo's love and eagerness to help as much as he could, and Kagome's compassion and purity of soul. These were the things that none of the others could understand. Even Inuyasha himself, accepted it, but little understood it, and its whole foundation and center was snuggled close to his chest, warmly held in his arms, soothing scent filling his nostrils as he had watched the sun march across the sky, and then watched as night crept its way, bringing the shroud of darkness that pulled in everything, shapes, fires, animals, people.

It offered something that the light of day could not. It offered anonymity, silence, and to those who knew of its strengths, it offer security and comfort. For many a night, he had found safety in the dark and shadows. Even now, he found a measure of comfort as he sat under the tree that had been his resting place for 50 years. That comfort helped as he continued to ponder himself and the onna he held tightly in his arms.

He has sworn he would never trust another, when he believed that Kikyou betrayed him. Even when he had learned the truth, he still found it hard to open up again. It had hurt so much the first time. But that was where the shades of gray stepped in, because while he could not open up to his pack, he always found himself unable to resist his first love. He knew she was dead, knew she needed to let go and find peace. But while his mind spoke of reality and common sense, his heart had spoke of love and desire.

It had hurt even more, when he saw Kikyou killed in that final battle with Naraku. It had not even been a honourable death for the once beloved priestess, for she had sided with Naraku in the end, still hoping to gain back her soul, and to kill Inuyasha. They had finally won that battle, but the cost was enormous for the heart of the poor hanyou. His first love was finally gone, Kagome's soul was back where it truly belonged, and he was left once again alone.

But was he truly alone? Did he still have no place in this world? Did he truly have no friends, or even family? Was he still not accepted? Was there still no love in his life? Was there still no one to love him or for him to love?

Seeming to sense his mental anguish, the raven haired beauty snuggled a bit closer, a bit restless from the sense of loneliness that unknowing to the hanyou, radiated off of his body in waves. He sighed, and in so doing felt a strong sense of peace, calm, and....love...wash over him. In that one single moment, a clarity of thought hit him like a rock. How could he have been so blind, and such a fool? Had not all of them tried to tell him what they all could see? Had they not all told him what he risked losing even now? Could he really live with himself, if he were to lose the one chance he had left to find peace, a place to belong, a reason to continue just being alive, and someone to share it all with? Someone who had repeatedly told him what they held in their heart. Someone who had always accepted him for who and what he was, not someone that he might have been, or that others might want him to be. Someone who had stuck with him through thick and thin, even when he had hurt her, or through his inaction, caused her to be hurt.

Even now he could recall all of those times when he spoken harshly or run off after Kikyou. What he had not noticed at the time, was the pain. The pain she had fought so hard to hide from him, and in his blindness he had not seen. In truth, because he had not wanted to see, he realized. Why he could not say, and probably would never truly understand, but he could see now, just how much she had sacrificed, not once, or twice, but repeatedly. Over and over and over again. Sacrificed even before she had asked him if he would allow her to be with him.

Something that Kikyou had never done. All the promises with her had been one sided. All the promises had been for Kikyou. Her desires, her wishes, her wants, her needs. No one had ever asked him, what he wanted, what he desired, what he needed. No one until Kagome. The only one who had put up with his every flare of temper, his every fault, he ever rude attitude. The only one who had always been there for him, stood by him, saved his life more times that he could count, even sacrificed herself out of love for him and a desire that he might live. And not once did he ever tell her thank you for her efforts.

How could he have ever been given such a gift? How had he ever deserved such a treasure? How could he live if she were not there?

The truth was....he couldn't.


Dictionary


Baka - Idiot
Chikushou - Damn
Daitoku - Priest
Fukurou - Owl
Gokuraku-chou - Paradise birds
Hanyou - Half Demon
Higurashi-daitoku - Roughly: Priest Higurashi...I have chosen to use this instead of a name, as no name is ever cited in either the anime or the manga. Kagome's grandfather, and name used by those not of the family.
Higurashi-nisou - Roughly: Priestess Higurashi...I have chosen to use this instead of a name, as no name is ever cited in either the anime or the manga. Kagome's mother, and name used by those not of the family.
Hinba - Mare
Houshi - Monk
Inu - Dog
Joshi - Women
Kinmouno shishi - Golden-haired Lion
Kitsune - Fox Demon
Kobura - Cobra
Koruto - Colt
Miko - Shrine Maiden
Neko - Cat
Nisou - Priestess
Ojii-san - Grandfather
Ojika - Stag
Okaa-san - Mother
Onna - Woman
Ookami - Wolf
Osuuma - Stallion
Oushi - Bull
Red Dragon - Ru-doragon
Sama - Lady or Lord - respectively
Shika - Deer
Shikon no Kakera - Shikon Shards
Shikon no Tama - Jewel of Four Souls
Shishi - Lion
Taijiya - Demon Exterminator
Taiyoukai - Demon Lord
Youkai - Demon

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