InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ You Darkness... ❯ Chapter 37 - The Half that Bound it Altogether ( Chapter 37 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Vyncent 
".....why did you sell your soul and heart to Ryuukessei to begin with....."
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Hentai | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 03.19.2005 | Pages: 4 | Words: 8.6K | Visits: 2.7K | Status: Work In Progress
".....why did you sell your soul and heart to Ryuukessei to begin with....."
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Hentai | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 03.19.2005 | Pages: 4 | Words: 8.6K | Visits: 2.7K | Status: Work In Progress
Chapter 37 - The Half that Bound it Altogether
You Darkness
by Vyncent
**This story contains GRAPHIC violence, sexual content and rape! You are WARNED**
Parts of this dark, and sinister fic, will NOT be posted to FanFiction.net...
It is being posted to AdultFanFiction. net and MediaMiner. org
If you do not like such content, then please be advised that this fic may not be appealing to you. Please do not read this if such content is offensive to you.
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, nor any of the associated characters. But it ain't because I don't want or wish to do so.
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"So you are the reason that our father was mortally wounded," growled Sesshomaru. Although it didn't show on his ever stoic face, it was apparent from his choice of words, and the tone of voice that he was more than just angry. If it had been feasible, it was obvious that the Great Taiyoukai would have torn the figure before them apart, slowly and with great enthusiasm.
Sesshomaru, however, was well aware that his efforts in that regard would be useless, and he would not demean himself so. Instead he settled for letting his seething anger wash through him, around him, and then pushed it aside. He could not take vengeance out on the dead and it would be pointless to harbor such ill will on the useless.
The entity before them all, hung his head in shame and sorrow, nodding in agreement with the statement. He could not refute it and it would have been useless to try to deny something that they had played such a pivotal part in.
"Hai," came the almost whispered reply. "Although, it had not been our intent to kill the Great Inu no Taisho at the time, but only our wish to destroy Ryuukossei. Of course, we had not anticipated him being sealed to a cliff, but either way we were finally free of his control and torture."
"Something that bothers me," spoke up Kouga, who had not ventured anything up to now, "why did you sell your soul and heart to Ryuukessei to begin with? As you already stated, you were the reason that he was able to bind and merge all of those youkai souls together. What did you gain by the pact? Surely you didn't make the offer without hoping to gain something in return?"
"You are most perceptive Ookami Princeling," Satomi replied, "and quite correct. My father, Okahito, was a most virile Lord. It was my Okaa-san's blessing that he had a number of concubines, else she would probably have never lived long enough to see any of her children grow up."
This was almost said with something of a chuckle, and it certainly put a gleam in the eye of a particular houshi, despite the fact that he was still some what weakened from his recent ordeal. Being a man who appreciated the charms of a woman, he could understand the ancient Lord's passion.
"Ah," spoke of the mischievous houshi, forgetting for a moment that Sango was sitting close by, "A Lord after my own heart. One who knew how to truly appreciate a woman's charms."
There was a sudden THWACK that momentarily filled the clearing, as a number of heated glares were tossed in the direction of the wayward monk. A red face Sango was staring him right in the face, her own heated glare rivaling Sesshomaru's at the moment.
"Perhaps Kagawaki-sama is speaking of one of your ancestors houshi-sama," she growled.
"As it was," Satomi continued, interrupting the impending tirade, leaving the houshi to nurse the red hand print on his face, "there was never a single night in my father's life that at least one onna didn't grace his bed chambers. Oftentimes, there was more than one. It meant that he had a large family. Even Okaa-san birthed many in her lifetime. From her alone, were born fifteen strong sons, and five sisters of great beauty."
"Wow!" came the astonished reply from both Ginta, and Hakkaku. "We knew that ookami were prolific, but never realized that ningens could be, as well!"
"Hai," Satomi again, almost chuckled, "we ningens are full of surprises. Where the problem in this lay, was that not all of my brothers would inherit anything or even be able to maintain other than a semblance of status. Being the twelfth of the sons, I had almost nothing to look forward to."
"Father was not a powerful Lord," he continued, "Not by any stretch of the imagination. He was, however, one of the richest. Not because he amassed great wealth, but rather because he could barter his way around, over, under, or through anything."
"When it came to spending money, father would rather die that let go of his gold. But if it meant making a deal, he would trade anything for almost anything, always to make sure that he got the best if not the better deal. While his holdings were rich, and prosperous because of this, he could not afford to divide them up amongst all of his sons. There would have been almost nothing for any of us to hold, and it would have destroyed all the he had inherited from his own father."
"His solution to this," Satomi sighed, but was interrupted from one of the most unexpected of sources.
"He would barter in trade, his own sons?" spoke up Shippo.
"Hai," came the sad reply, "that is exactly what he did. For each of us, except my two oldest brothers, it was different. We each faced either a position with title, but no importance, by staying in my father's household. Or, we could accept his choices in how we all were parceled out in exchange for various contracts, goods, and such."
"Normally, this would not necessarily have been a bad thing, had the exchange involved things like land, or gaining a higher status. Unfortunately, this is not the direction that my father chose to aim for. Oh, sure! For a couple of us, he did manage to extend his holdings, and in fact, nearly doubled the size of his small domain, but father was smart enough to know that he could not defend his lands, if they were too large, and so he didn't look to expand his domain by too much."
"Again that left what he got for the rest of us to other things," Satomi said sadly. "Father loved being able to get things that were out of the ordinary. While his tastes could not be called truly exotic, they were different."
"At a distant port to the east, it was rumoured that a lesser Lord with a small holding, was in possession of unusual treasures that he regularly obtained from the great sea. Father negotiated with him bartering some of our more common materials and myself."
"In exchange, father would get yearly supplies of this Lord's best treasures, and a husband for his only daughter. It would also, give the distant Lord a higher status marrying his daughter into a larger and more prominent family such as the Kagawaki clan. Pleased with the arrangement, father informed me that I was to leave by the end of that month to take up my new status."
"You had already fallen in love with someone else," spoke up Kagome, the tracks of her earlier tears, though no longer falling, still visible on her face. "You had fallen in love with Midoriko-sama, hadn't you? You were the one who was secretly in love with her."
Kagawaki, Satomi hung his head in shame. The young Miko had found his truth even before he had spoken of it himself. What would the ancient Warrior Priestess of such great renown, and power think of him now, knowing that he had sold his very soul to the devil himself in order to try to get near her heart? Surely she would detest him, and think him weak and cowardly. She could not possibly want anything to do with him, not after all that he was responsible for because of one hope filled, misguided wish.
"Hai," was his almost whispered reply, he felt Ryuukessei pushing him to let him step forward and take this part of the story up for him. He refused to submit, however, as he knew that for once he had to face the reality of his own decision.
"From the first time that I saw her," he continued quietly, guilt and shame apparent on his face, "I felt as though some part of me was incomplete without her. Just seeing her, even from a distance called to me in ways that I never thought possible. She was the light in an otherwise dark existence, hope in a time when all seemed lost. To me, she was the very breath of life itself. Life.....there was no life without her."
As he spoke, he seemed to find the courage in himself to raise his head and despite the guilt and shame of his very existence, he looked into the face of the onna that had come to mean the world to him. What he saw confused him, and left him feeling strangely at peace.
"Why did you never come to me, and tell me of your feelings Satomi-sama?" asked Midoriko as she gave the hand that Satomi forgot she still held, a gentle squeeze of reassurance. The look on her face was one of shock, wonder, awe, sadness, compassion, and the one thing that Satomi had not expected to see from the powerful and ancient Miko...love shown there in all of its glory, but was it for him?
"As I was saying before," he spoke, unable to turn away from that beautiful face, "I had nothing to offer. At home, I was just another son in my father's family. I knew no trade, although I tried to learn several. Father found out, however, and put an immediate stop to my efforts to find some kind of skill that might be useful. Father didn't believe in fighting, and would not hire anyone to teach us the skills of the sword and forbade us to seek it out for ourselves. He always said that there were better ways to live than by fighting, but in a world where there was bloodshed and battle everywhere you turned, it was hard not to want to at least know how to defend ourselves."
"Had I been willing to submit to father's agreement and contract," he continued, "with the Lord on the far distant eastern shores, I would have at least been able to pick up such skills as fighting. Unfortunately, that would have meant being farther away from the one person who meant the most in my life, and my heart just would not allow me to accept father's decision."
"It was late one night when I made my biggest decision, and greatest mistake," he said, pausing for a moment in thought, "The night when I thought that I might make my fondest wishes come true. I had just found out that the onna, to whom my father wished me to marry, was many years my senior and almost to old to bare children. Apparently, she was of rather plain looks, and her disposition was anything but agreeable. As a result, her father had never been able to find her a husband, that is until he made the agreement with my father."
"I could not go through with this agreement," Satomi said with such vehemence that no room for doubt was left as to exactly how much he had hated what his father had planned for his life. "But, I had nothing to offer such a rare and powerful beauty, and there was no way that one who didn't own even as much as a lowly farmer, could find interest in someone like me. Or at least that is what I kept telling myself."
Despite his best efforts to hold back on Ryuukessei, the doragon pushed hard and once more took over the story, standing before the group as the telltale light faded away.
"I had found a very old scroll in my father's library," Ryuukessei picked up the tale, "that told how many youkai could merge and become one all powerful and strong youkai. The one with the strongest mind would become the dominant one, and hold complete control over all of the others. It would be his form that would be the most common or natural form, and the powers and abilities of all of those absorbed would become his own. It, however, required one very important thing."
"You needed a ningen heart and soul," spoke up Miroku, "given openly, freely, and unconditionally to you, in order to bind the souls and forms of the others to your own."
"Hai," Ryuukessei replied, "and Satomi was perfect at the time. He truly cares for Midoriko, but even now he feels that he is truly unworthy of her. As he said, he lacked real status, held no land grants, had no real skills, no power, no wealth for his father would not part with any of it even for his own kin, and his future prospects were anything but bright."
"It was easy to prey upon his feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and shame," the doragon continued, and while there seemed to be little regret for his actions, it was apparent that in some way he did feel his own guilt for the outcome of that long ago fated meeting and pact.
"He was so sure that he could never measure up to anything that you would find acceptable," he said, looking the Miko of yore in the eye, "Feeding his uncertainties and fear was simple, and once he was on the edge of total despair, I offered him a way out of his dilemma."
"By freely giving me his soul and heart," Ryuukessei spoke, as the ancient Miko continued to hold his clawed appendage, much to his own amazement, and that of Satomi's, "we could bring together countless youkai bodies and souls, and absorb their power and strength. By doing so, we attained their abilities, and became strong and powerful. Powerful beyond words."
"There were several serious drawbacks to your solution," spoke up Midoriko, her face at the moment, almost expressionless, "were there not? The great number of youkai that you required, the festering of the souls themselves, only further added to the already twisted mentality caused by your father, the ever growing addiction to the power that you stole from them, and the feelings that Satomi held in his heart."
"Hai," Ryuukessei replied honestly, not once looking away from Midoriko. At that moment, he could not be completely sure what was going on in the ancient Priestess' mind, and for some reason that he could not define that bothered him. He could feel Satomi in the back of his head, and understood that he too, felt the same way and wonder...no feared...that the Miko was in her own way beginning to both hate and despise him. Though it went unspoken, he was not sure that he could tolerate that prospect.
"As you stated back at the hut, one of the biggest differences between the two of us, is that you do not need to do anything to replenish your power or your soul. Your one pure and powerful soul, was always the toughest thing for me to ward off, and my only solution was to make mine bigger and stronger. Even then, with every battle that we fought, every injury took away some of the hard won youkai souls that I spent so much time absorbing. I always needed to find more, and more, just to keep up with you."
"I can offer it as no excuse," Ryuukessei declared, "neither then, nor now, but understand that from my very birth I was weak and almost useless by youkai standards. It is unlikely that even had my father been different and had kept me along with my siblings, I would still have been ridiculed for that alone. It would have been worse than being a hanyou. To be the son of a Great and Terrible Doragon, and to not have even one of his powers, or skills, or even some of his strength, would have made me the laughing stock of the clan, shamed my father, and dishonoured my family."
"One way or the other," he continued, "I would have lead a miserable existence. At the time, it was either survive, or die. Although my choice brought pain, horror, death, and destruction to many, I know that I would have done it all again, if I was faced with the same situation."
"This moment," he said after a brief pause for reflection on his own admissions, and the past that consumed the life that he might have had, "I am far more lucid in thought, and sanity than I have been since the day the old miko died. With Satomi's help, I can see so much more clearly than I had back then. At this moment, his heart and soul are still my anchor."
He paused again, and once more turned to look Midoriko in the eye, letting everything that his long and painful existence meant to him show in his own face. It was more than apparent that he might once have been a being full of life. He obviously had a strong will, and was far from being unintelligent. Just as they all had, he had suffered as well. It was just that his life was one of twisted fate, and in the process had sucked up the lives of others dragging them along in his wake.
"Satomi has helped bring back memories of a time that I had thought long forgotten, or had pushed back so far that I had hoped to forget," he stated in simple honesty, "I had forgotten how much the old miko had meant to me. I must have buried it deep when father used the young miko against me, and then poisoned my mind against miko's making me believe that the old one had not wanted me and that the young one had deliberately attacked me. Even now, I can see her face, and I realize after all of this time that she had tried her best to pull the power back, rather than release it after the bindings burst."
"It was father that had turned me against miko's," Ryuukessei said, "making me believe that all of your kind were vermin to be stamped out or possessed and broken. The one thing that did happen in all of this, and that I had not counted on was the power and strength of Satomi's heart. He truly seems to care for you with his entire being."
"I remember still the first time that I saw you," he stated, an almost fevered look in his face, "at the joining. Your power was so immense, and your soul so enormous. Just standing in your presence, I could feel it."
"For reasons that I still cannot explain," he stated, "I found that after the first time I sensed and felt your power, I was inextricably drawn to it. It was like a moth to a flame. Addicting. I had to do anything to find a way to have that power, to have you. I craved something every time I saw you, or felt the caress of your miko against my own youki. I never did, and still do not understand what this craving is, or why it hurt so much when you were not around."
"Even now, I can feel the pull of that craving. I have never felt it this strongly, and these feelings almost frighten me with their intensity. Satomi fears that you despise and hate him for his weakness, and for some reason this bothers me, as well. His soul cries out for you even now, after all of the centuries. The two of us have been as one for so long that even my own soul joins his cry."
Midoriko simple stood, holding his claws in her hand as she had throughout most of the story. She had not realized that it was Kagawaki's son that had lost his soul and heart to Ryuukossei's son. All she had known was that Ryuukessei had been the center of the evil that she had fought not only all of those years ago, but ever since. She had tried for so long to learn why and understand the reason for the youkai's sudden appearance and ever growing anger, greed, lust, and hatred.
She had known of him, and over the centuries trapped in the Sacred Jewel, she had learned much about him. He had held such hatred for her, or at least that is what it had seemed like. She had tried many times both living and afterward to understand him. The very nature of her soul yearned to reach out to him and to help ease the pain that she knew he was in, but she had never been able to reach him. His seeming hatred had always pushed her efforts away.
But then, if it truly had been hatred, and a desire for her death, then why had he not killed her when he had so many opportunities to do so. Even in those last seven days, there had been so many times when he could have done so, when she left her guard open, or stumbled, when her body had begun to tire and she was barely able to stand any more.
She was ningen after all, and he was youkai. His endurance should have been so much more than she was capable of. The addition of all of those youkai souls had given him a power to heal that was unknown even among youkai. So why had he let her take his soul and bind it to her own, just before she forced them out of her chest creating the Shikon no Tama? Why had he let her surround him in the power of the Shikon at all?
As he continued his tale, she found herself drawn once more to the eyes that seemed to peer deep into her own, as though longing to see a side to her soul that he had never tried to see before. Uncertain of his goals, and having spent so much time being on her guard for so long, she schooled her face as such to have left even the Great Sesshomaru proud of her efforts.
"Perhaps that is why, even now I feel strangely. These feelings are still something that I do not understand. What are these feelings? What is this love? Is this what it feels like to want someone so bad that you feel like you are dying because they are not with you?"
He turned to face Kagome once more, tears still glittering in her eyes. Inuyasha tightened his hold on her, his only thought to protect her, even as his hands unconsciously rubbed soothing circles over her stomach. No one remarked at the soft, quiet almost purr like rumble that was just barely audible, as his instincts did what was needed to comfort his mate.
Kagome returned Ryuukessei's stare. There was no fear, anger, nor hate in her eyes. There was sadness, and compassion, which still shocked the youkai soul as he looked deeper into her own soul. Right now, more than anything, he just wanted to understand. Why did she shed tears for one that she had fought against for so long? Why would she care for her enemy? How could she care for one that had been the cause of so much death and pain?
"Time and again, I have never been able to understand all of this. I guess that one of the reasons that I chose Satomi was in the hopes that he could make me understand what these strange feelings are. All it did was confuse me all the more. Why? What do they all mean?" he asked of the young Miko.
"You have come to a time that was only stories in your history books. You faced horrors and dangers that you could have avoided by just staying in the time of your birth, yet you sacrificed even that to be with the hanyou. Many times you even willingly offered to sacrifice yourself for him. So many times you were hurt by him, and yet you stood by him through it all, even his youkai? Why?"
"Love is not something that you define," was her quiet response, looking the doragon soul right in the eye unflinchingly, "It is a mother holding her child, a father protecting his family. It is a man's desire to share his life with someone, providing for them, caring for them, protecting them. It is a woman's heart as she gives it to a man, willing to care for him, even in the most difficult of times, even when he doesn't seem to notice or return the affection. It is being there for him, welcoming his embrace, and giving him a family to cherish. It is this and so much more. It cannot truly be put into words, as it is something that can only be experienced to understand. Given it all to relive again, I would make the same choices, and the same sacrifices as I did, without hesitation. I would still stand by his side, and be there for him. I could not do less."
"You say that one must experience this...love...to understand it," he sighed in frustration, "but that only means that I will never find out what I so wish to know. What is it that I keep missing that would give me these answers? Why can I not understand? Why is it that knowing I will never understand or even experience this thing you call love, make me feel so empty and even more alone that I had before? Where...How...Who...can help me to find the answers that beneath it all, I have always sought?"
Midoriko pulled doragon's attention back to her once more, as she began to speak, "My young re-incarnation is quite right you know? Love is not something that can be easily defined. It is something that is different for everyone."
"She was chosen for good reason as the Guardian of the Shikon no Tama, and it was not by accident that the small group who now consider her more than just a friend, crossed the path of her life. Each encompasses some part of what the power of Shikon truly means, and up holds that soul with fire, reverence, determination, and honour."
"The houshi has always bourne the Soul of Courage. It is a courageous thing to wake up each day, knowing full well that it might be your last. Seeking to find the cause of that curse and facing any and all the evils and fears that walking such a path would involve, is also an act of bravery. He went beyond that, however, by standing up to those same dangers and using his curse for good cause, in protecting his friends and loved ones, and even in the protection of the innocent. He did this, knowing full well that it shortened his life span each and every time that he used it, and in the end he helped to bring an end to the curse that would have eventually wiped out his entire family line," Midoriko stated simply and honestly.
Miroku could not help the warmth of pride that brought to his heart, although he tried not to let too much of it show. He was surprised when Sango leaned closer to him, and settled against his shoulder in an act more loving that she had yet shown him publicly, since he had met her.
The ancient Warrior Priestess continued, "The young kitsune is indeed a fiery spirit and as much a part of the representation of the Four Souls as any in the group. He is surrounded by the Soul of Love and wears it like a mantel. It is well worn, as he has let it give him the strength to face his fears out of his love of those around him. Many times when he could have and should have run in fear from the dangers that they have all faced, his love has given him the courage to stand far taller than his small form and to use all that he is to try to help protect and defend those he cares most about."
Shippo smiled and blushed at the compliment that was paid him, hiding his face with his bangs. At a nudge to his side, he turned to see Rin smiling sweetly at him. He had forgotten that he had moved to sit closer to her, when she had went to Sesshomaru-sama earlier. He found himself sitting just as proud as a peacock. The action brought a smile and laugh from almost everyone looking at him, and he quickly ducked his head again, the blush threatening to encompass his entire body. The shade of red alone was enough to do his adoptive mother proud.
"The Taijiya is the physical embodiment of the Soul of Wisdom. She has endured much, and still stood to face even more. She has great knowledge, and realizes that it brings great power to her. More than that however, she understands that her knowledge means nothing if not used and shared. She as freely and frequently used her knowledge and skills to the benefit of others, and she continues to do so. Although it has been a hard road to follow, especially where her brother was concerned, she has stayed true to her heart and let it guide her to the right path. Although she is neither my re-incarnation, nor a direct descendant, I am proud to consider her my sister-in-arms for her warrior spirit does me proud." she said smiling at Sango.
Sango could not help the flush of colour that shaded her face. It was true, as she had said back in the hut. All of her life, Midoriko and the tales that had been tradition in her village for centuries, had always been the hero, and idol that she looked up to. As her father had trained her, she had used that worship of the Great Warrior Priestess to be her guardian as she strove to achieve heights in her skill that many men could not reach.
She had never thought that she would see a day when she might actually see the true form of her heroine, let alone be able to tell her that it was her strength, and determination in all of the old tales and legends that had made Sango's success possible. She looked to the entity before her, and bowed in polite acknowledgment of her praise, before resettling back against the shoulder of the houshi who held her heart.
"Inuyasha," the Priestess of yore began again, "A most 'interesting' hanyou, to say the least. Although he often tries to hide behind a crusty facade of impatience and aloofness, at heart is one who has always sought to have that which he was denied for so many years. Friends, and family. A place to be welcomed, and call home. Someone to care about him, and in many ways for him. Had the balance not been tipped, he might have found that for himself long ago, however, Fate once again stepped in and brought to him the one thing he needed the most to achieve his true goals."
"Hey!!! What is that supposed to mean?" said hanyou groused. Everyone else quietly snickering, except Sesshomaru of course, although there was a glint of amusement in his eyes. But only a chosen few knew how to see what were in those eyes, and chose wisely to keep it to themselves.
"Hmmm! Hmmm! Hmmm!," was the ancient Miko's immediate response, "Calm yourself hanyou, no insult was intended. You have always been a truly unique case child, for although you spent the majority of your life believing that you wanted to become a full youkai, down deep your real wish was altogether different. Yes, you wanted to become more powerful, to be more like your brother. Accepted, powerful, strong, and able to defend those who you most cared about. All we did, was give you something to care enough about to want to protect her, and she brought you friends to accept and care about, as well."
"As the Soul of Friendship and Family, yours was both the easiest and yet the hardest path to follow. Finding someone to truly care for, and realizing that all along the strength was within you, was the reason that your road was so hard to travel. You, however, still chose to follow that path, and you travel it still most admirably. We thank you for your compassionate heart and protective nature in caring for our Chosen Daughter," the ancient Warrior Miko replied with a simple bow of her head in gratitude.
Inuyasha just looked at her, some what taken aback by the unexpected praise, or at least he thought it was praise. He had wanted to be a full youkai for so long, that it took him a moment to realize the truth of the Miko's words.
He felt Kagome shaking just a bit, thinking that she was cold, he wrapped his arms a bit more tightly around her to cover her with his over large sleeves, and hold her closer. When he looked down into her eyes, the look of merriment told him that she had been snickering quietly at him, but not in a bad way. Realizing that he had truly been complimented, and not insulted, he just blush fiercely and glared around at the gathered group.
"Feh!" was his only remark, as he buried his nose into Kagome's shoulder inhaling her calming scent and covering his blush from those looking on. He especially didn't want to look up and see that same look of merriment from Kagome's eyes, reflected in all of those sitting around the group.
"They have all come together for one common cause. Of course, that cause was you," she said looking back at Ryuukessei, "but after all of these centuries that would not have been enough to keep them together, bind them as a family, a pack, and hold them together even in the worst of times, had it not been for one selfless, compassionate, brave, and caring person. She gave them a reason to work together, trust each other, form new bonds of friendship, and find the good in even the worst of people and places."
"The young Miko," Midoriko spoke, still looking Ryuukessei in the eyes, "is truly my re-incarnation. She is not just a copy, nor is she any less a Miko for her lack of training. If anything, she is truly far more a true Miko, than Kikyou could have dreamed or I could have ever imagined possible. She may not have my fighting skills with sword, which is why her companions were carefully chosen by Fate, to guide and protect her in her quest as she continued her journey and of her own free will chose to complete her task. The task that Kikyou failed to complete."
Midoriko seemed to pause in thought briefly before turning to look directly at Inuyasha, capturing his gaze unrelentingly with her own. He shivered at that look that she gave him, as he felt her look deeply into his very own soul. He almost felt as though he was being examined, scrutinized, and tested, and he only hoped that he would not be found wanting.
"Know this young hanyou," the Priestess of old told him in a tone that brooked no argument, "she was never just a copy, nor was she a simple re-incarnation. For the sake of her purity, she was never meant to wield sword, axe, spear, or knife. You were chosen to be her sword, and you were chosen to be the match to her soul."
To his relief, Midoriko turned her attention back to the doragon youkai soul before her. He sighed in relief, as some part of him knew that what she said had been a warning. A warning that he knew he could not readily forget or ignore. He vowed to himself that he would hold that warning as close to his heart, as he now held Kagome, and keep both with the honour that they deserved.
"You both see what is around us now," Midoriko continued, compassion once again filling her voice and her face, "yet still you do not see what it truly here. For those such as Kagome, and myself, status, power, wealth, and looks are not the more important things in life. It would matter not to us, whether you are the richest or the poorest, the most powerful or the most powerless, have the highest standing or the lowest, whether you are the strongest or the weakest. What is most important to us, is that you are true to your heart and soul. If either of you had been brave enough to face me and speak, you would have learned that, and most likely saved a lot of souls who died needlessly."
Ryuukessei stood looking the ancient Priestess in the eye for several long moments, trying to understand the meaning to her words. Although he was still confused, almost beyond words, some part of his seemed to feel just a bit less empty at that moment. It only confused him more, and he could not even begin to figure out why.
Deep within, he felt the soul of his human counterpart, as Satomi seemed to sigh in a relief that filled his entire being with an unexpected feeling of warmth. In his confusion, he relinquished his control once more to Satomi, as he tried hard to make sense of what all this meant.
"For so long, I have felt that you would have never found me to be worthy of your attention," Satomi spoke, shame colouring his voice and his face, "Through my weakness, I gave power to one who in his own way truly hurt for the same things that I did. I failed to see that he lacked the responsibility needed to truly wield such power. More than anything, I should have remember the teachings of our own village priest, for he had tried to instill in all of us the truth of the Four Souls."
At that admission, Kagawaki, Satomi, long distant ancestor the Kagawaki, Hitomi, the last of the Kagawaki clan, knelt in abject humiliation before the Warrior Priestess and those who sat looking on around him.
"Although I am not worthy of even your hatred for my crimes," he said, as he bowed prostrate before them all, "I offer all that remains of me to your judgment now, and accept your punishment for all of the lives that have been lost because of my selfishness so long ago."
Before anyone could do or say anything, the now expected light flared once again, and Ryuukessei stood before them, an air of defiance more than apparent in his stance. Despite the anger that seemed to reflect from his eyes, the more predominant feeling that filled the air was one of desperation, not hatred.
"Just as Satomi," he spoke in low, angered tones, "I too...regret...the deaths that I have been the cause of whether directly or indirectly, however, I am not yet ready to give up my existence. If penance I must pay, then so be it, but I will not submit easily to being extinguished from existence."
For a moment all was quiet in the clearing, as the angered youkai stood almost panting in apparent effort to remain predominant over the human soul that he shared his existence with. It was obvious that there was a war of personalities going on inside the soul, and it was also obvious that both were equal to the task.
"STOP!!!" yelled Midoriko. Her voice filled the clearing, shaking all who heard it to their very souls, as she continued squeezing hard the clawed appendage that she held to. Had the youkai been a living, breathing being, those watching would have heard the creaking of bones rubbing together in ways that they were not meant to. It must have been painful, nevertheless, as the youkai soul turned his attention back to the Priestess, as did the human soul within.
"If the two of you continue in the manner," she spoke almost harshly, "you not only threaten your very existence, but that of anyone within miles of this location. Have you not already taken enough lives, and shed enough blood? You both claim to regret the many thousands of deaths that you have caused, yet once again, you both endanger more lives with your thoughtlessness."
At her harsh tone and words, both frozen in place, stunned at what they had almost done. Midoriko didn't relinquish her hold, nor wait for them to start to wallow in self-pity before she continued to take them to task for their carelessness.
"If you both truly repent the blood," she said, "the covers the hands and claws of you both, then you will start right now, by becoming more aware of the lives that surround you. With great power comes great responsibility, and it is about time that you both became responsible. You wield great power, and yet you throw it around carelessly, and without thought or reason. That has been your greatest strength, but more than anything, Ryuukessei, it has been your greatest weakness."
"For the moment," she continued, "as you both seem set to fight each other, we must make this possibility a far less likely thing."
With those words, a brilliant flare of blue light filled the area, and as it cleared, instead of the souls of Midoriko and Ryuukessei standing before everyone, there were now three entities. Midoriko stood in the middle, on her right was Satomi, his hand in hers and his head hung low in shame. On her left stood Ryuukessei, his clawed appendage also held by Midoriko, and while he showed his remorse in his face, he refused to submit further to the situation at hand.
"Satomi," Midoriko stated firmly, "you claim to have held love in your heart for me all of these centuries, and to have been willing to give up everything that you had and were to be near me. Yet right now, you shame yourself and me by your actions. You are so willing to give up, and allow yourself to be destroyed, like that will pay for all the blood shed because of you."
Satomi seemed to be shaken by her words, and although he was but a young lord, at that moment, he looked exceedingly old. He wanted more than anything to just shrink up and curl into a small ball and hide in his shame from the world, where no one could see.
"No," Midoriko said sternly, as he tried to sink once more to the ground. She pulled his hand back so he was forced to stand, and she commanded he look her in the face. "It is easy to give up, Satomi-san. That is the act of a true coward. Are you so willing to show this as your true colours?"
"I am much, Miko-sama," the ancient Lord spoke, the tone heated, but it lacked truth, "but a coward I am not."
"And you, Ryuukessei," Midoriko stared down the second half of her erstwhile opponent, "You claim to desire to repent the damage you have wrought. Is this truth? Or are you trying to weave another of your intricate spells in the hopes of breaking free once again, to shed even more blood? Are you truly tired of this non-existence? Are you ready to move on, and perhaps find that which you say that you seek the answers to? Or will you also show you true colours to be that of a coward?"
He growled at her for her daring. He was much, and deep down he knew that coward was one of them, but that was the part of him that he didn't wish to show so openly. How dare she flaunt his weakness so publicly.
"I am no coward," he growled at her, "at least I am not the coward that Satomi is."
Both entities took to staring at each other, the anger seeming to flow in waves off of both of them. Midoriko yanked on their hands, pulling their attention back to her once again.
"You Satomi," she said to the ancient lord, "wish to pay for your crimes, and you Ryuukessei, wish to pay for them as well, but not to give up your existence at least until you can learn the answers to that which you seek to understand. Are you both willing to pay a price for that which you most desire?"
They were totally confused by her words, and could not be sure if they offered hope, or hopelessness. Exactly what was she planning? What did she have in mind? What did it mean for them all?
"If you are willing to sacrifice as much as they did, both you Ryuukessei, and Satomi, then I know of a way that you can find the answers that you seek the most, and give you the chance to learn of these strange feelings that you desire to learn so much about. The choice is for the two of you to make, but understand. This opportunity can only be offered once. If accepted, there can be no turning back, what will be lost can never be obtained again. If declined, it cannot be offered again, and the existence that we have all known up to now, will end right here before all of these witnesses," spoke the ancient Warrior Priestess a gleam in her eye of both challenge and daring.
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Dictionary
Baba - Old Woman, Witch, Shit, Bullshit
Baka - Idiot
Chikushou - Damn
Daitoku - Priest
Doragon - Dragon
Fujo - Sorceress
Fukurou - Owl
Hanyou - Half Demon
Higurashi-daitoku - Roughly: Priest Higurashi...I have chosen to use this instead of a name, as no name is ever cited in either the anime or the manga. Kagome's grandfather, and name used by those not of the family.
Higurashi-nisou - Roughly: Priestess Higurashi...I have chosen to use this instead of a name, as no name is ever cited in either the anime or the manga. Kagome's mother, and name used by those not of the family.
Hinba - Mare
Houshi - Monk
Inu - Dog
Joshi - Women
Kagawaki, Satomi - First incarnation of Kagawaki, Hitomi, the Lord possessed and ultimately killed by Naraku - Satomi and his father lived during the time of Midoriko. Ultimately, he sold his heart and soul to Ryuukessei in the hopes of gaining power and position so that he could have something to offer to Midoriko
Kagawaki, Okahito - Father to Kagawaki, Satomi
Kinmouno shishi - Golden-haired Lion
Kitsune - Fox Demon
Kobura - Cobra
Koruto - Colt
Kuromiko - Dark Miko
Miko - Shrine Maiden
Neko - Cat
Nisou - Priestess
Ojii-san - Grandfather
Ojika - Stag
Okaa-san - Mother
Onna - Woman
Ookami - Wolf
Osuuma - Stallion
Oushi - Bull
Red Dragon - Ru-doragon
Ryuu - Dragon
Ryuukessei - Roughly translates as 'Dragon Formation Spirit' - Author discretion - son of Ryuukossei.
Ryuukossei - Roughly translates as 'Dragon Bone Spirit' - Dragon who was ultimately the cause of Inuyasha and Sesshomaru's father's death. Although he later died saving his ningen mate and newly born Inuyasha, the wounds that he had going into that battle, had already been caused by Ryuukossei, who was left pinned to a cliff face by Sugimi-sama's fang. Later, Inuyasha defeated him in battle and strengthened the power of his own fang, used to repair the broken Tetsusaiga and giving him back the power and strength to wield his father's Great Fang of Destruction.
Sama - Lady or Lord - respectively
Seiyuuki - Monkey
Shika - Deer
Shikon no Kakera - Shikon Shards
Shikon no Tama - Jewel of Four Souls
Shishi - Lion
Taijiya - Demon Exterminator
Taiyoukai - Demon Lord
Youkai - Demon
You Darkness
by Vyncent
**This story contains GRAPHIC violence, sexual content and rape! You are WARNED**
Parts of this dark, and sinister fic, will NOT be posted to FanFiction.net...
It is being posted to AdultFanFiction. net and MediaMiner. org
If you do not like such content, then please be advised that this fic may not be appealing to you. Please do not read this if such content is offensive to you.
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, nor any of the associated characters. But it ain't because I don't want or wish to do so.
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"So you are the reason that our father was mortally wounded," growled Sesshomaru. Although it didn't show on his ever stoic face, it was apparent from his choice of words, and the tone of voice that he was more than just angry. If it had been feasible, it was obvious that the Great Taiyoukai would have torn the figure before them apart, slowly and with great enthusiasm.
Sesshomaru, however, was well aware that his efforts in that regard would be useless, and he would not demean himself so. Instead he settled for letting his seething anger wash through him, around him, and then pushed it aside. He could not take vengeance out on the dead and it would be pointless to harbor such ill will on the useless.
The entity before them all, hung his head in shame and sorrow, nodding in agreement with the statement. He could not refute it and it would have been useless to try to deny something that they had played such a pivotal part in.
"Hai," came the almost whispered reply. "Although, it had not been our intent to kill the Great Inu no Taisho at the time, but only our wish to destroy Ryuukossei. Of course, we had not anticipated him being sealed to a cliff, but either way we were finally free of his control and torture."
"Something that bothers me," spoke up Kouga, who had not ventured anything up to now, "why did you sell your soul and heart to Ryuukessei to begin with? As you already stated, you were the reason that he was able to bind and merge all of those youkai souls together. What did you gain by the pact? Surely you didn't make the offer without hoping to gain something in return?"
"You are most perceptive Ookami Princeling," Satomi replied, "and quite correct. My father, Okahito, was a most virile Lord. It was my Okaa-san's blessing that he had a number of concubines, else she would probably have never lived long enough to see any of her children grow up."
This was almost said with something of a chuckle, and it certainly put a gleam in the eye of a particular houshi, despite the fact that he was still some what weakened from his recent ordeal. Being a man who appreciated the charms of a woman, he could understand the ancient Lord's passion.
"Ah," spoke of the mischievous houshi, forgetting for a moment that Sango was sitting close by, "A Lord after my own heart. One who knew how to truly appreciate a woman's charms."
There was a sudden THWACK that momentarily filled the clearing, as a number of heated glares were tossed in the direction of the wayward monk. A red face Sango was staring him right in the face, her own heated glare rivaling Sesshomaru's at the moment.
"Perhaps Kagawaki-sama is speaking of one of your ancestors houshi-sama," she growled.
"As it was," Satomi continued, interrupting the impending tirade, leaving the houshi to nurse the red hand print on his face, "there was never a single night in my father's life that at least one onna didn't grace his bed chambers. Oftentimes, there was more than one. It meant that he had a large family. Even Okaa-san birthed many in her lifetime. From her alone, were born fifteen strong sons, and five sisters of great beauty."
"Wow!" came the astonished reply from both Ginta, and Hakkaku. "We knew that ookami were prolific, but never realized that ningens could be, as well!"
"Hai," Satomi again, almost chuckled, "we ningens are full of surprises. Where the problem in this lay, was that not all of my brothers would inherit anything or even be able to maintain other than a semblance of status. Being the twelfth of the sons, I had almost nothing to look forward to."
"Father was not a powerful Lord," he continued, "Not by any stretch of the imagination. He was, however, one of the richest. Not because he amassed great wealth, but rather because he could barter his way around, over, under, or through anything."
"When it came to spending money, father would rather die that let go of his gold. But if it meant making a deal, he would trade anything for almost anything, always to make sure that he got the best if not the better deal. While his holdings were rich, and prosperous because of this, he could not afford to divide them up amongst all of his sons. There would have been almost nothing for any of us to hold, and it would have destroyed all the he had inherited from his own father."
"His solution to this," Satomi sighed, but was interrupted from one of the most unexpected of sources.
"He would barter in trade, his own sons?" spoke up Shippo.
"Hai," came the sad reply, "that is exactly what he did. For each of us, except my two oldest brothers, it was different. We each faced either a position with title, but no importance, by staying in my father's household. Or, we could accept his choices in how we all were parceled out in exchange for various contracts, goods, and such."
"Normally, this would not necessarily have been a bad thing, had the exchange involved things like land, or gaining a higher status. Unfortunately, this is not the direction that my father chose to aim for. Oh, sure! For a couple of us, he did manage to extend his holdings, and in fact, nearly doubled the size of his small domain, but father was smart enough to know that he could not defend his lands, if they were too large, and so he didn't look to expand his domain by too much."
"Again that left what he got for the rest of us to other things," Satomi said sadly. "Father loved being able to get things that were out of the ordinary. While his tastes could not be called truly exotic, they were different."
"At a distant port to the east, it was rumoured that a lesser Lord with a small holding, was in possession of unusual treasures that he regularly obtained from the great sea. Father negotiated with him bartering some of our more common materials and myself."
"In exchange, father would get yearly supplies of this Lord's best treasures, and a husband for his only daughter. It would also, give the distant Lord a higher status marrying his daughter into a larger and more prominent family such as the Kagawaki clan. Pleased with the arrangement, father informed me that I was to leave by the end of that month to take up my new status."
"You had already fallen in love with someone else," spoke up Kagome, the tracks of her earlier tears, though no longer falling, still visible on her face. "You had fallen in love with Midoriko-sama, hadn't you? You were the one who was secretly in love with her."
Kagawaki, Satomi hung his head in shame. The young Miko had found his truth even before he had spoken of it himself. What would the ancient Warrior Priestess of such great renown, and power think of him now, knowing that he had sold his very soul to the devil himself in order to try to get near her heart? Surely she would detest him, and think him weak and cowardly. She could not possibly want anything to do with him, not after all that he was responsible for because of one hope filled, misguided wish.
"Hai," was his almost whispered reply, he felt Ryuukessei pushing him to let him step forward and take this part of the story up for him. He refused to submit, however, as he knew that for once he had to face the reality of his own decision.
"From the first time that I saw her," he continued quietly, guilt and shame apparent on his face, "I felt as though some part of me was incomplete without her. Just seeing her, even from a distance called to me in ways that I never thought possible. She was the light in an otherwise dark existence, hope in a time when all seemed lost. To me, she was the very breath of life itself. Life.....there was no life without her."
As he spoke, he seemed to find the courage in himself to raise his head and despite the guilt and shame of his very existence, he looked into the face of the onna that had come to mean the world to him. What he saw confused him, and left him feeling strangely at peace.
"Why did you never come to me, and tell me of your feelings Satomi-sama?" asked Midoriko as she gave the hand that Satomi forgot she still held, a gentle squeeze of reassurance. The look on her face was one of shock, wonder, awe, sadness, compassion, and the one thing that Satomi had not expected to see from the powerful and ancient Miko...love shown there in all of its glory, but was it for him?
"As I was saying before," he spoke, unable to turn away from that beautiful face, "I had nothing to offer. At home, I was just another son in my father's family. I knew no trade, although I tried to learn several. Father found out, however, and put an immediate stop to my efforts to find some kind of skill that might be useful. Father didn't believe in fighting, and would not hire anyone to teach us the skills of the sword and forbade us to seek it out for ourselves. He always said that there were better ways to live than by fighting, but in a world where there was bloodshed and battle everywhere you turned, it was hard not to want to at least know how to defend ourselves."
"Had I been willing to submit to father's agreement and contract," he continued, "with the Lord on the far distant eastern shores, I would have at least been able to pick up such skills as fighting. Unfortunately, that would have meant being farther away from the one person who meant the most in my life, and my heart just would not allow me to accept father's decision."
"It was late one night when I made my biggest decision, and greatest mistake," he said, pausing for a moment in thought, "The night when I thought that I might make my fondest wishes come true. I had just found out that the onna, to whom my father wished me to marry, was many years my senior and almost to old to bare children. Apparently, she was of rather plain looks, and her disposition was anything but agreeable. As a result, her father had never been able to find her a husband, that is until he made the agreement with my father."
"I could not go through with this agreement," Satomi said with such vehemence that no room for doubt was left as to exactly how much he had hated what his father had planned for his life. "But, I had nothing to offer such a rare and powerful beauty, and there was no way that one who didn't own even as much as a lowly farmer, could find interest in someone like me. Or at least that is what I kept telling myself."
Despite his best efforts to hold back on Ryuukessei, the doragon pushed hard and once more took over the story, standing before the group as the telltale light faded away.
"I had found a very old scroll in my father's library," Ryuukessei picked up the tale, "that told how many youkai could merge and become one all powerful and strong youkai. The one with the strongest mind would become the dominant one, and hold complete control over all of the others. It would be his form that would be the most common or natural form, and the powers and abilities of all of those absorbed would become his own. It, however, required one very important thing."
"You needed a ningen heart and soul," spoke up Miroku, "given openly, freely, and unconditionally to you, in order to bind the souls and forms of the others to your own."
"Hai," Ryuukessei replied, "and Satomi was perfect at the time. He truly cares for Midoriko, but even now he feels that he is truly unworthy of her. As he said, he lacked real status, held no land grants, had no real skills, no power, no wealth for his father would not part with any of it even for his own kin, and his future prospects were anything but bright."
"It was easy to prey upon his feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and shame," the doragon continued, and while there seemed to be little regret for his actions, it was apparent that in some way he did feel his own guilt for the outcome of that long ago fated meeting and pact.
"He was so sure that he could never measure up to anything that you would find acceptable," he said, looking the Miko of yore in the eye, "Feeding his uncertainties and fear was simple, and once he was on the edge of total despair, I offered him a way out of his dilemma."
"By freely giving me his soul and heart," Ryuukessei spoke, as the ancient Miko continued to hold his clawed appendage, much to his own amazement, and that of Satomi's, "we could bring together countless youkai bodies and souls, and absorb their power and strength. By doing so, we attained their abilities, and became strong and powerful. Powerful beyond words."
"There were several serious drawbacks to your solution," spoke up Midoriko, her face at the moment, almost expressionless, "were there not? The great number of youkai that you required, the festering of the souls themselves, only further added to the already twisted mentality caused by your father, the ever growing addiction to the power that you stole from them, and the feelings that Satomi held in his heart."
"Hai," Ryuukessei replied honestly, not once looking away from Midoriko. At that moment, he could not be completely sure what was going on in the ancient Priestess' mind, and for some reason that he could not define that bothered him. He could feel Satomi in the back of his head, and understood that he too, felt the same way and wonder...no feared...that the Miko was in her own way beginning to both hate and despise him. Though it went unspoken, he was not sure that he could tolerate that prospect.
"As you stated back at the hut, one of the biggest differences between the two of us, is that you do not need to do anything to replenish your power or your soul. Your one pure and powerful soul, was always the toughest thing for me to ward off, and my only solution was to make mine bigger and stronger. Even then, with every battle that we fought, every injury took away some of the hard won youkai souls that I spent so much time absorbing. I always needed to find more, and more, just to keep up with you."
"I can offer it as no excuse," Ryuukessei declared, "neither then, nor now, but understand that from my very birth I was weak and almost useless by youkai standards. It is unlikely that even had my father been different and had kept me along with my siblings, I would still have been ridiculed for that alone. It would have been worse than being a hanyou. To be the son of a Great and Terrible Doragon, and to not have even one of his powers, or skills, or even some of his strength, would have made me the laughing stock of the clan, shamed my father, and dishonoured my family."
"One way or the other," he continued, "I would have lead a miserable existence. At the time, it was either survive, or die. Although my choice brought pain, horror, death, and destruction to many, I know that I would have done it all again, if I was faced with the same situation."
"This moment," he said after a brief pause for reflection on his own admissions, and the past that consumed the life that he might have had, "I am far more lucid in thought, and sanity than I have been since the day the old miko died. With Satomi's help, I can see so much more clearly than I had back then. At this moment, his heart and soul are still my anchor."
He paused again, and once more turned to look Midoriko in the eye, letting everything that his long and painful existence meant to him show in his own face. It was more than apparent that he might once have been a being full of life. He obviously had a strong will, and was far from being unintelligent. Just as they all had, he had suffered as well. It was just that his life was one of twisted fate, and in the process had sucked up the lives of others dragging them along in his wake.
"Satomi has helped bring back memories of a time that I had thought long forgotten, or had pushed back so far that I had hoped to forget," he stated in simple honesty, "I had forgotten how much the old miko had meant to me. I must have buried it deep when father used the young miko against me, and then poisoned my mind against miko's making me believe that the old one had not wanted me and that the young one had deliberately attacked me. Even now, I can see her face, and I realize after all of this time that she had tried her best to pull the power back, rather than release it after the bindings burst."
"It was father that had turned me against miko's," Ryuukessei said, "making me believe that all of your kind were vermin to be stamped out or possessed and broken. The one thing that did happen in all of this, and that I had not counted on was the power and strength of Satomi's heart. He truly seems to care for you with his entire being."
"I remember still the first time that I saw you," he stated, an almost fevered look in his face, "at the joining. Your power was so immense, and your soul so enormous. Just standing in your presence, I could feel it."
"For reasons that I still cannot explain," he stated, "I found that after the first time I sensed and felt your power, I was inextricably drawn to it. It was like a moth to a flame. Addicting. I had to do anything to find a way to have that power, to have you. I craved something every time I saw you, or felt the caress of your miko against my own youki. I never did, and still do not understand what this craving is, or why it hurt so much when you were not around."
"Even now, I can feel the pull of that craving. I have never felt it this strongly, and these feelings almost frighten me with their intensity. Satomi fears that you despise and hate him for his weakness, and for some reason this bothers me, as well. His soul cries out for you even now, after all of the centuries. The two of us have been as one for so long that even my own soul joins his cry."
Midoriko simple stood, holding his claws in her hand as she had throughout most of the story. She had not realized that it was Kagawaki's son that had lost his soul and heart to Ryuukossei's son. All she had known was that Ryuukessei had been the center of the evil that she had fought not only all of those years ago, but ever since. She had tried for so long to learn why and understand the reason for the youkai's sudden appearance and ever growing anger, greed, lust, and hatred.
She had known of him, and over the centuries trapped in the Sacred Jewel, she had learned much about him. He had held such hatred for her, or at least that is what it had seemed like. She had tried many times both living and afterward to understand him. The very nature of her soul yearned to reach out to him and to help ease the pain that she knew he was in, but she had never been able to reach him. His seeming hatred had always pushed her efforts away.
But then, if it truly had been hatred, and a desire for her death, then why had he not killed her when he had so many opportunities to do so. Even in those last seven days, there had been so many times when he could have done so, when she left her guard open, or stumbled, when her body had begun to tire and she was barely able to stand any more.
She was ningen after all, and he was youkai. His endurance should have been so much more than she was capable of. The addition of all of those youkai souls had given him a power to heal that was unknown even among youkai. So why had he let her take his soul and bind it to her own, just before she forced them out of her chest creating the Shikon no Tama? Why had he let her surround him in the power of the Shikon at all?
As he continued his tale, she found herself drawn once more to the eyes that seemed to peer deep into her own, as though longing to see a side to her soul that he had never tried to see before. Uncertain of his goals, and having spent so much time being on her guard for so long, she schooled her face as such to have left even the Great Sesshomaru proud of her efforts.
"Perhaps that is why, even now I feel strangely. These feelings are still something that I do not understand. What are these feelings? What is this love? Is this what it feels like to want someone so bad that you feel like you are dying because they are not with you?"
He turned to face Kagome once more, tears still glittering in her eyes. Inuyasha tightened his hold on her, his only thought to protect her, even as his hands unconsciously rubbed soothing circles over her stomach. No one remarked at the soft, quiet almost purr like rumble that was just barely audible, as his instincts did what was needed to comfort his mate.
Kagome returned Ryuukessei's stare. There was no fear, anger, nor hate in her eyes. There was sadness, and compassion, which still shocked the youkai soul as he looked deeper into her own soul. Right now, more than anything, he just wanted to understand. Why did she shed tears for one that she had fought against for so long? Why would she care for her enemy? How could she care for one that had been the cause of so much death and pain?
"Time and again, I have never been able to understand all of this. I guess that one of the reasons that I chose Satomi was in the hopes that he could make me understand what these strange feelings are. All it did was confuse me all the more. Why? What do they all mean?" he asked of the young Miko.
"You have come to a time that was only stories in your history books. You faced horrors and dangers that you could have avoided by just staying in the time of your birth, yet you sacrificed even that to be with the hanyou. Many times you even willingly offered to sacrifice yourself for him. So many times you were hurt by him, and yet you stood by him through it all, even his youkai? Why?"
"Love is not something that you define," was her quiet response, looking the doragon soul right in the eye unflinchingly, "It is a mother holding her child, a father protecting his family. It is a man's desire to share his life with someone, providing for them, caring for them, protecting them. It is a woman's heart as she gives it to a man, willing to care for him, even in the most difficult of times, even when he doesn't seem to notice or return the affection. It is being there for him, welcoming his embrace, and giving him a family to cherish. It is this and so much more. It cannot truly be put into words, as it is something that can only be experienced to understand. Given it all to relive again, I would make the same choices, and the same sacrifices as I did, without hesitation. I would still stand by his side, and be there for him. I could not do less."
"You say that one must experience this...love...to understand it," he sighed in frustration, "but that only means that I will never find out what I so wish to know. What is it that I keep missing that would give me these answers? Why can I not understand? Why is it that knowing I will never understand or even experience this thing you call love, make me feel so empty and even more alone that I had before? Where...How...Who...can help me to find the answers that beneath it all, I have always sought?"
Midoriko pulled doragon's attention back to her once more, as she began to speak, "My young re-incarnation is quite right you know? Love is not something that can be easily defined. It is something that is different for everyone."
"She was chosen for good reason as the Guardian of the Shikon no Tama, and it was not by accident that the small group who now consider her more than just a friend, crossed the path of her life. Each encompasses some part of what the power of Shikon truly means, and up holds that soul with fire, reverence, determination, and honour."
"The houshi has always bourne the Soul of Courage. It is a courageous thing to wake up each day, knowing full well that it might be your last. Seeking to find the cause of that curse and facing any and all the evils and fears that walking such a path would involve, is also an act of bravery. He went beyond that, however, by standing up to those same dangers and using his curse for good cause, in protecting his friends and loved ones, and even in the protection of the innocent. He did this, knowing full well that it shortened his life span each and every time that he used it, and in the end he helped to bring an end to the curse that would have eventually wiped out his entire family line," Midoriko stated simply and honestly.
Miroku could not help the warmth of pride that brought to his heart, although he tried not to let too much of it show. He was surprised when Sango leaned closer to him, and settled against his shoulder in an act more loving that she had yet shown him publicly, since he had met her.
The ancient Warrior Priestess continued, "The young kitsune is indeed a fiery spirit and as much a part of the representation of the Four Souls as any in the group. He is surrounded by the Soul of Love and wears it like a mantel. It is well worn, as he has let it give him the strength to face his fears out of his love of those around him. Many times when he could have and should have run in fear from the dangers that they have all faced, his love has given him the courage to stand far taller than his small form and to use all that he is to try to help protect and defend those he cares most about."
Shippo smiled and blushed at the compliment that was paid him, hiding his face with his bangs. At a nudge to his side, he turned to see Rin smiling sweetly at him. He had forgotten that he had moved to sit closer to her, when she had went to Sesshomaru-sama earlier. He found himself sitting just as proud as a peacock. The action brought a smile and laugh from almost everyone looking at him, and he quickly ducked his head again, the blush threatening to encompass his entire body. The shade of red alone was enough to do his adoptive mother proud.
"The Taijiya is the physical embodiment of the Soul of Wisdom. She has endured much, and still stood to face even more. She has great knowledge, and realizes that it brings great power to her. More than that however, she understands that her knowledge means nothing if not used and shared. She as freely and frequently used her knowledge and skills to the benefit of others, and she continues to do so. Although it has been a hard road to follow, especially where her brother was concerned, she has stayed true to her heart and let it guide her to the right path. Although she is neither my re-incarnation, nor a direct descendant, I am proud to consider her my sister-in-arms for her warrior spirit does me proud." she said smiling at Sango.
Sango could not help the flush of colour that shaded her face. It was true, as she had said back in the hut. All of her life, Midoriko and the tales that had been tradition in her village for centuries, had always been the hero, and idol that she looked up to. As her father had trained her, she had used that worship of the Great Warrior Priestess to be her guardian as she strove to achieve heights in her skill that many men could not reach.
She had never thought that she would see a day when she might actually see the true form of her heroine, let alone be able to tell her that it was her strength, and determination in all of the old tales and legends that had made Sango's success possible. She looked to the entity before her, and bowed in polite acknowledgment of her praise, before resettling back against the shoulder of the houshi who held her heart.
"Inuyasha," the Priestess of yore began again, "A most 'interesting' hanyou, to say the least. Although he often tries to hide behind a crusty facade of impatience and aloofness, at heart is one who has always sought to have that which he was denied for so many years. Friends, and family. A place to be welcomed, and call home. Someone to care about him, and in many ways for him. Had the balance not been tipped, he might have found that for himself long ago, however, Fate once again stepped in and brought to him the one thing he needed the most to achieve his true goals."
"Hey!!! What is that supposed to mean?" said hanyou groused. Everyone else quietly snickering, except Sesshomaru of course, although there was a glint of amusement in his eyes. But only a chosen few knew how to see what were in those eyes, and chose wisely to keep it to themselves.
"Hmmm! Hmmm! Hmmm!," was the ancient Miko's immediate response, "Calm yourself hanyou, no insult was intended. You have always been a truly unique case child, for although you spent the majority of your life believing that you wanted to become a full youkai, down deep your real wish was altogether different. Yes, you wanted to become more powerful, to be more like your brother. Accepted, powerful, strong, and able to defend those who you most cared about. All we did, was give you something to care enough about to want to protect her, and she brought you friends to accept and care about, as well."
"As the Soul of Friendship and Family, yours was both the easiest and yet the hardest path to follow. Finding someone to truly care for, and realizing that all along the strength was within you, was the reason that your road was so hard to travel. You, however, still chose to follow that path, and you travel it still most admirably. We thank you for your compassionate heart and protective nature in caring for our Chosen Daughter," the ancient Warrior Miko replied with a simple bow of her head in gratitude.
Inuyasha just looked at her, some what taken aback by the unexpected praise, or at least he thought it was praise. He had wanted to be a full youkai for so long, that it took him a moment to realize the truth of the Miko's words.
He felt Kagome shaking just a bit, thinking that she was cold, he wrapped his arms a bit more tightly around her to cover her with his over large sleeves, and hold her closer. When he looked down into her eyes, the look of merriment told him that she had been snickering quietly at him, but not in a bad way. Realizing that he had truly been complimented, and not insulted, he just blush fiercely and glared around at the gathered group.
"Feh!" was his only remark, as he buried his nose into Kagome's shoulder inhaling her calming scent and covering his blush from those looking on. He especially didn't want to look up and see that same look of merriment from Kagome's eyes, reflected in all of those sitting around the group.
"They have all come together for one common cause. Of course, that cause was you," she said looking back at Ryuukessei, "but after all of these centuries that would not have been enough to keep them together, bind them as a family, a pack, and hold them together even in the worst of times, had it not been for one selfless, compassionate, brave, and caring person. She gave them a reason to work together, trust each other, form new bonds of friendship, and find the good in even the worst of people and places."
"The young Miko," Midoriko spoke, still looking Ryuukessei in the eyes, "is truly my re-incarnation. She is not just a copy, nor is she any less a Miko for her lack of training. If anything, she is truly far more a true Miko, than Kikyou could have dreamed or I could have ever imagined possible. She may not have my fighting skills with sword, which is why her companions were carefully chosen by Fate, to guide and protect her in her quest as she continued her journey and of her own free will chose to complete her task. The task that Kikyou failed to complete."
Midoriko seemed to pause in thought briefly before turning to look directly at Inuyasha, capturing his gaze unrelentingly with her own. He shivered at that look that she gave him, as he felt her look deeply into his very own soul. He almost felt as though he was being examined, scrutinized, and tested, and he only hoped that he would not be found wanting.
"Know this young hanyou," the Priestess of old told him in a tone that brooked no argument, "she was never just a copy, nor was she a simple re-incarnation. For the sake of her purity, she was never meant to wield sword, axe, spear, or knife. You were chosen to be her sword, and you were chosen to be the match to her soul."
To his relief, Midoriko turned her attention back to the doragon youkai soul before her. He sighed in relief, as some part of him knew that what she said had been a warning. A warning that he knew he could not readily forget or ignore. He vowed to himself that he would hold that warning as close to his heart, as he now held Kagome, and keep both with the honour that they deserved.
"You both see what is around us now," Midoriko continued, compassion once again filling her voice and her face, "yet still you do not see what it truly here. For those such as Kagome, and myself, status, power, wealth, and looks are not the more important things in life. It would matter not to us, whether you are the richest or the poorest, the most powerful or the most powerless, have the highest standing or the lowest, whether you are the strongest or the weakest. What is most important to us, is that you are true to your heart and soul. If either of you had been brave enough to face me and speak, you would have learned that, and most likely saved a lot of souls who died needlessly."
Ryuukessei stood looking the ancient Priestess in the eye for several long moments, trying to understand the meaning to her words. Although he was still confused, almost beyond words, some part of his seemed to feel just a bit less empty at that moment. It only confused him more, and he could not even begin to figure out why.
Deep within, he felt the soul of his human counterpart, as Satomi seemed to sigh in a relief that filled his entire being with an unexpected feeling of warmth. In his confusion, he relinquished his control once more to Satomi, as he tried hard to make sense of what all this meant.
"For so long, I have felt that you would have never found me to be worthy of your attention," Satomi spoke, shame colouring his voice and his face, "Through my weakness, I gave power to one who in his own way truly hurt for the same things that I did. I failed to see that he lacked the responsibility needed to truly wield such power. More than anything, I should have remember the teachings of our own village priest, for he had tried to instill in all of us the truth of the Four Souls."
At that admission, Kagawaki, Satomi, long distant ancestor the Kagawaki, Hitomi, the last of the Kagawaki clan, knelt in abject humiliation before the Warrior Priestess and those who sat looking on around him.
"Although I am not worthy of even your hatred for my crimes," he said, as he bowed prostrate before them all, "I offer all that remains of me to your judgment now, and accept your punishment for all of the lives that have been lost because of my selfishness so long ago."
Before anyone could do or say anything, the now expected light flared once again, and Ryuukessei stood before them, an air of defiance more than apparent in his stance. Despite the anger that seemed to reflect from his eyes, the more predominant feeling that filled the air was one of desperation, not hatred.
"Just as Satomi," he spoke in low, angered tones, "I too...regret...the deaths that I have been the cause of whether directly or indirectly, however, I am not yet ready to give up my existence. If penance I must pay, then so be it, but I will not submit easily to being extinguished from existence."
For a moment all was quiet in the clearing, as the angered youkai stood almost panting in apparent effort to remain predominant over the human soul that he shared his existence with. It was obvious that there was a war of personalities going on inside the soul, and it was also obvious that both were equal to the task.
"STOP!!!" yelled Midoriko. Her voice filled the clearing, shaking all who heard it to their very souls, as she continued squeezing hard the clawed appendage that she held to. Had the youkai been a living, breathing being, those watching would have heard the creaking of bones rubbing together in ways that they were not meant to. It must have been painful, nevertheless, as the youkai soul turned his attention back to the Priestess, as did the human soul within.
"If the two of you continue in the manner," she spoke almost harshly, "you not only threaten your very existence, but that of anyone within miles of this location. Have you not already taken enough lives, and shed enough blood? You both claim to regret the many thousands of deaths that you have caused, yet once again, you both endanger more lives with your thoughtlessness."
At her harsh tone and words, both frozen in place, stunned at what they had almost done. Midoriko didn't relinquish her hold, nor wait for them to start to wallow in self-pity before she continued to take them to task for their carelessness.
"If you both truly repent the blood," she said, "the covers the hands and claws of you both, then you will start right now, by becoming more aware of the lives that surround you. With great power comes great responsibility, and it is about time that you both became responsible. You wield great power, and yet you throw it around carelessly, and without thought or reason. That has been your greatest strength, but more than anything, Ryuukessei, it has been your greatest weakness."
"For the moment," she continued, "as you both seem set to fight each other, we must make this possibility a far less likely thing."
With those words, a brilliant flare of blue light filled the area, and as it cleared, instead of the souls of Midoriko and Ryuukessei standing before everyone, there were now three entities. Midoriko stood in the middle, on her right was Satomi, his hand in hers and his head hung low in shame. On her left stood Ryuukessei, his clawed appendage also held by Midoriko, and while he showed his remorse in his face, he refused to submit further to the situation at hand.
"Satomi," Midoriko stated firmly, "you claim to have held love in your heart for me all of these centuries, and to have been willing to give up everything that you had and were to be near me. Yet right now, you shame yourself and me by your actions. You are so willing to give up, and allow yourself to be destroyed, like that will pay for all the blood shed because of you."
Satomi seemed to be shaken by her words, and although he was but a young lord, at that moment, he looked exceedingly old. He wanted more than anything to just shrink up and curl into a small ball and hide in his shame from the world, where no one could see.
"No," Midoriko said sternly, as he tried to sink once more to the ground. She pulled his hand back so he was forced to stand, and she commanded he look her in the face. "It is easy to give up, Satomi-san. That is the act of a true coward. Are you so willing to show this as your true colours?"
"I am much, Miko-sama," the ancient Lord spoke, the tone heated, but it lacked truth, "but a coward I am not."
"And you, Ryuukessei," Midoriko stared down the second half of her erstwhile opponent, "You claim to desire to repent the damage you have wrought. Is this truth? Or are you trying to weave another of your intricate spells in the hopes of breaking free once again, to shed even more blood? Are you truly tired of this non-existence? Are you ready to move on, and perhaps find that which you say that you seek the answers to? Or will you also show you true colours to be that of a coward?"
He growled at her for her daring. He was much, and deep down he knew that coward was one of them, but that was the part of him that he didn't wish to show so openly. How dare she flaunt his weakness so publicly.
"I am no coward," he growled at her, "at least I am not the coward that Satomi is."
Both entities took to staring at each other, the anger seeming to flow in waves off of both of them. Midoriko yanked on their hands, pulling their attention back to her once again.
"You Satomi," she said to the ancient lord, "wish to pay for your crimes, and you Ryuukessei, wish to pay for them as well, but not to give up your existence at least until you can learn the answers to that which you seek to understand. Are you both willing to pay a price for that which you most desire?"
They were totally confused by her words, and could not be sure if they offered hope, or hopelessness. Exactly what was she planning? What did she have in mind? What did it mean for them all?
"If you are willing to sacrifice as much as they did, both you Ryuukessei, and Satomi, then I know of a way that you can find the answers that you seek the most, and give you the chance to learn of these strange feelings that you desire to learn so much about. The choice is for the two of you to make, but understand. This opportunity can only be offered once. If accepted, there can be no turning back, what will be lost can never be obtained again. If declined, it cannot be offered again, and the existence that we have all known up to now, will end right here before all of these witnesses," spoke the ancient Warrior Priestess a gleam in her eye of both challenge and daring.
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Dictionary
Baba - Old Woman, Witch, Shit, Bullshit
Baka - Idiot
Chikushou - Damn
Daitoku - Priest
Doragon - Dragon
Fujo - Sorceress
Fukurou - Owl
Hanyou - Half Demon
Higurashi-daitoku - Roughly: Priest Higurashi...I have chosen to use this instead of a name, as no name is ever cited in either the anime or the manga. Kagome's grandfather, and name used by those not of the family.
Higurashi-nisou - Roughly: Priestess Higurashi...I have chosen to use this instead of a name, as no name is ever cited in either the anime or the manga. Kagome's mother, and name used by those not of the family.
Hinba - Mare
Houshi - Monk
Inu - Dog
Joshi - Women
Kagawaki, Satomi - First incarnation of Kagawaki, Hitomi, the Lord possessed and ultimately killed by Naraku - Satomi and his father lived during the time of Midoriko. Ultimately, he sold his heart and soul to Ryuukessei in the hopes of gaining power and position so that he could have something to offer to Midoriko
Kagawaki, Okahito - Father to Kagawaki, Satomi
Kinmouno shishi - Golden-haired Lion
Kitsune - Fox Demon
Kobura - Cobra
Koruto - Colt
Kuromiko - Dark Miko
Miko - Shrine Maiden
Neko - Cat
Nisou - Priestess
Ojii-san - Grandfather
Ojika - Stag
Okaa-san - Mother
Onna - Woman
Ookami - Wolf
Osuuma - Stallion
Oushi - Bull
Red Dragon - Ru-doragon
Ryuu - Dragon
Ryuukessei - Roughly translates as 'Dragon Formation Spirit' - Author discretion - son of Ryuukossei.
Ryuukossei - Roughly translates as 'Dragon Bone Spirit' - Dragon who was ultimately the cause of Inuyasha and Sesshomaru's father's death. Although he later died saving his ningen mate and newly born Inuyasha, the wounds that he had going into that battle, had already been caused by Ryuukossei, who was left pinned to a cliff face by Sugimi-sama's fang. Later, Inuyasha defeated him in battle and strengthened the power of his own fang, used to repair the broken Tetsusaiga and giving him back the power and strength to wield his father's Great Fang of Destruction.
Sama - Lady or Lord - respectively
Seiyuuki - Monkey
Shika - Deer
Shikon no Kakera - Shikon Shards
Shikon no Tama - Jewel of Four Souls
Shishi - Lion
Taijiya - Demon Exterminator
Taiyoukai - Demon Lord
Youkai - Demon