InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ You Don't Know What You Have 'Till Its Gone ❯ Explanations ( Chapter 5 )

{Disclaimer: Inuyasha doesn't belong to me so don't sue. ::sighs:: unless someone would like to give him to me. I would have a ball playing with those ears.}

You Don't Know What You Have 'Till It's Gone

By Striking Falcon

Chapter Five: Explanation

{Song is Brandy's 'Have You Ever'}

"Ok, Rin, like this," Kagome instructed, watching Rin as she mimicked her movements. They were taking advantage of the morning light, Kagome using the time to teach Rin the dance Rin caught her doing in her room two weeks before. Since arriving at the castle, Kagome found herself in need of something to do. So when her back pack appeared in her room one morning, she took advantage and taught Rin a few things she felt the child needed to know. Rin was a quick study, taking to the writing and reading like a duck to water. The math was a little harder, but she soon mastered that too. The dance was her reward for a job well done. As Kagome slowly went through each move, the placement of the arms and feet, Sesshoumaru watched them from a distant balcony.

'Rin is very attached to Inuyasha's wench, this Kagome,' he thought to himself, watching Rin as Kagome placed her feet in the correct position for the third time. 'She's teaching Rin so much, even though I didn't ask. Is this why Inuyasha keeps her around? Because she's so willing to volunteer for anything?' He watched the dance lazily, Kagome's lavender kimono swirling around her and the golden chain connecting the two combs in the buns of her hair swaying as she showed Rin a new move. His attention centered on the girls suddenly, something familiar about the way Kagome was standing causing some alarm. Sesshoumaru studied her closer as she showed Rin the move again, her hands fluttering by her sides and in front of her face as she settled into a battle stance. 'That little bitch is teaching Rin to fight!'

Kagome was lifted into the air, hands clutching her throat before she could breath in to scream. Sesshoumaru's face appeared below her, a snarl plastered on his face.

"Who told you to teach Rin to fight?"

Kagome struggled a little under his hand, knowing by now that such movements were futile. That didn't stop her from trying, though.

"It's a dance where I'm from, Sesshoumaru," she gasped. Kagome's world was slowly darkening as Sesshoumaru's grip tightened.

"You lie, human."

"No. I swear it is!" Kagome insisted.

"I don't want Rin to learn how to fight."

"I know that, but if she gets separated from you again, it could help her."

"I can help her."

"But what if you're further away than you intend? Rin could fend off her attackers until you arrive. Since you're a Great Demon, she wouldn't have to defend herself long."

Sesshoumaru placed Kagome back on the ground, waiting patiently for her to find her footing before letting her go. 'Men, caress their ego and they'll do anything,' Kagome thought as she gasped for air. He walked over to a nearby bench and sat down, waving his hand for Kagome to continue with his consent. Kagome took in a few good puffs, calmed her nerves, and resumed with the lesson. After a while, Rin was starting to tire. Kagome patted her head, wiping the sweat away with a handkerchief.

"Very good, Rin. You're getting better. How about I show you a few steps while you rest?"

Rin grinned and sat down beside Sesshoumaru, her eyes taking up Kagome's form as Kagome took off her kimono and draped the expensive silk over one of the statues in the garden. She smoothed out the white inner haori patiently while Rin settled down beside Sesshoumaru. Stepping forward, her eyes closed, she stared to dance. Kagome crossed one foot in front of the other, her hands seemed to weave a spell to her audience. Rin and Sesshoumaru watched in awe as Kagome spun around suddenly, the loose tendril at the nape of her neck below the two buns swirling around her like a tail. She leaped forward, landing softly on her feet, then lowered herself to the ground with a swan's grace.

"Beautiful, right Sesshoumaru-sama?" Rin whispered, too enthralled to look at his face. Sesshoumaru agreed, his golden eyes following every step the woman in front of him took. Kagome twirled again, her foot landing on a slick part on the stone path. Her feet flew out from under her, sending her hurtling toward the ground. Just as she felt the hem of her kimono fold under her, she stopped falling. 'Oh God. The fall killed me. I'm dead.' A vibration against her chest startled her into opening her eyes.

"I was starting to worry about you," Sesshoumaru said. Kagome realized that the vibration was him laughing silently as she unknowingly clutched his haori. She smiled sheepishly as he settled her back to her feet.

"Are you always so clumsy?" he asked, the laughter spreading to his eyes. Kagome blushed and lowered her head. Sesshoumaru picked her up and carried her to the bench, setting her down beside Rin.

"Rin, get her some water."

Rin scampered off, into the safety of the castle walls. Sesshoumaru watched Kagome as she struggled to get herself under control.

"Thank you, Sesshoumaru," she whispered. Sesshoumaru made no move of acknowledgement. He watched her instead. Kagome lowered her head, wishing she were a million miles away.

"What kind of power does Inuyasha hold over you?"

Kagome blinked for a moment, his words catching her by surprise. "Inuyasha doesn't have any power over me."

"How is it that he can cause you so much pain without actually hurting you?"

Kagome shook her head.

"It's love. That's what hurts so much."

"But why?"

"With Inuyasha , it always seems to."

Sesshoumaru listened as she explained to him what she could of her and Inuyasha's relationship, and how difficult it was for her. Kagome didn't have the slightest idea why she was telling him this, but it seemed to help the hurt she was suffering from. Sesshoumaru, under his blank stare, was secretly fuming. Her pain seemed to furl this rage. 'Why am I feeling like this?' he asked himself. 'I shouldn't care if he loves some dead woman, or if she loves him. Yet when she speaks of him, I feel so…

Jealous.

'That can't be right.' He waited for her to finish, her hands fidgeting in her lap.

"That doesn't explain why you're in so much pain."

Kagome sighed. 'I really don't know myself. How am I going to explain it to him?' She decided that the best way was to open her mouth and see what came out, praying that she didn't say something stupid to get her killed in the process. Instead she started to sing, startling herself and (unknowingly) Sesshoumaru at the same time.

"Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for the words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start"

Sesshoumaru listened, his eyes closed, as Kagome sang out her heart's desire. 'So this is what it is,' he said to himself. 'This power over her. Who would have thought it would be love?' He opened his eyes, studying Kagome's hair as she continued. He found himself unconsciously answering the questions in the song.

"Have you ever found that one
You've dreamed of all of your life
You'd do anything to look into her eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed you eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care"

Kagome stared at her lap, fear threatening to override her common sense. 'I can't belief I'm singing to Sesshoumaru. I must want to die.' She refused to stop, feeling that, somehow, he understood.

"Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever"

Sesshoumaru lifted her chin, his eyes gazing into hers. 'I've never seen a human with such beautiful eyes.' He fought to remain expressionless, but this woman seemed to make him smile, laugh and just downright not be himself since she'd been there. Sesshoumaru watched the tears form in her eyes, turning the dark gray into something silver in its intensity. As one fell, he wiped it away with his thumb, surprising her out of her slippers. Sesshoumaru paid no attention to this, her words swirling around his head preventing him from thinking. He leaned over and rubbed his cheek against hers, inhaling her scent as she gasped in shock. 'Oh my God, what is he doing?' Kagome's brain screamed as Sesshoumaru tugged her closer to his chest. Rin's footsteps came closer to the garden, putting Sesshoumaru on high alert. Giving Kagome's cheek a final brush, he rose up as Rin danced into view.

"Rin has Kagome's water, Sesshoumaru-sama!" she called, handing the mug to Kagome. Kagome's hands shook as she drank, slight drops splashing out of the cup to the stones below.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, is Kagome ok?"

"Yes, Rin. She's fine. Continue your lessons." Sesshoumaru strolled past her and back to the castle. As he entered his study, his calm exterior melted into one of confusion.

"What just happened?" he asked himself, shaking slightly as he sat down on one of the chairs.

"I can't feel what I do for the little wench. She is Inuyasha's woman, after all."

'But she said that Inuyasha wanted another, that this other wanted to kill her.'

Sesshoumaru's eyes flashed in anger.

"I'd die first," he growled, his claws digging into the wood under his palms. He blinked for a moment, confused.

'Why am I so protective of her? She's human. But she's never treated Inuyasha like an outcast. She mothers over that baby kitsune and Rin. She would make the perfect nurse for Rin, and she's pretty enough to bed. Can't let her have children, though. I won't repeat my father's mistake. And she would protect any heirs I do sire.'

Sesshoumaru walked over to the window, looking down over the garden he left minutes ago.

"It's final, then. She stays. But how to get her to agree?"

--------

Sesshou: I'm not saying it.

SF: Please?

Sesshou: No.

SF: {::huffing::} Why not?

Sesshou: Because I am above that.

SF: But I want you to.

Sesshou: Since when do I care what you want?

SF: I'd make me happy…

Sesshou: So?

{SF whispers in Sesshou's ear. He grins suddenly and grabs her arm.}

SF: Hey! What are you doing?

Sesshou: You're coming with me. Oh yeah, keep going!