InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Zutto Ikite ❯ Kioku no Kakera ( Chapter 3 )

Kioku no Kakera

 

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A/N: This is the last chapter. Thank you for reviewing :) I hope you enjoyed the story and please state your opinion of it:D

 

Kioku no Kakera = Fragments of memory

 

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For the last month, she had kept hearing strange rumors about the mystery boy that surprisingly donated blood daily and had disappeared for a while. Kagome didn't have to guess who it was - her heart could easily confirm her suspicions. Somehow, she was glad she didn't have to live with the anxiety daily, yet she missed his presence at the espresso machine.

 

From the very beginning she had been amazed that he was able to donate so much blood - unlike a normal person - yet she had not questioned it. Strange, because everyone in the hospital was very interested in the man's unusual health, but he never let anyone make too much tests on him - just the usual. With what she knew now, it had to be like him to be so guarded.

 

But she kept telling herself every day: He is not Inuyasha.

 

And just as she convinced herself, the image of her precious hanyou came to mind and, without being able to help it, that boy that kept appearing in her dreams lately stood right next to him. There was no denying it - they were so alike, yet different all at once. There were days when she wondered where he was and why he wasn't coming back, but she figured it was best that way. She didn't know if she could ever stop comparing him to Inuyasha, and that wasn't fair to either of them. The attraction she felt for the young man that was MIA was somehow otherworldly, even though she believed it stemmed from her love for his predecessor. Kagome had no doubts that he was Inuyasha's reincarnation.

 

Reincarnation. Just like I was for Kikyou.

 

And it dawned on her that perhaps Inuyasha had never been meant for her. There were centuries between them, after all - she had to admit it was a bit unnatural.

 

Very unnatural.

 

But she loved him, and knew he had loved her.

 

And then he died.

 

Tears came uncalled-for and Kagome wasn't silly enough to believe she could stop them from torturing her. Fragments of memories taunted her with their rudeness and malice; perhaps karma was telling her something. Many errors must have plagued her past incarnations, and even though it was far from fair, she embraced her fate. It was better than to live with hope for a better future that she knew wouldn't come and face deception. This way at least she knew what to expect.

 

A lifetime of misery, but it was bittersweet.

 

Inuyasha…

 

His name came so easily to her lips these days, whereas a couple of years ago she had experienced difficulty in even thinking of him without having her heart break into thousands of tiny, fascinating shards once again.

 

I love you…

 

She still did. She always would, and it was what kept her from trying to find that boy and getting to know him.

 

Why do I always call him a boy? He's a man.

 

Yet thinking of him as a young, inexperienced boy made her feel better about ignoring him. About giving him a chance.

 

When was it ever about me giving him a chance?

 

Thoughts like these had begun plaguing her mind ever since he had stopped coming to the hospital.

 

“Have you heard?” Kagome heard from around the corner. The woman speaking seemed elated and in awe.

 

“Hear what?” the second person, an older man, asked, his voice laced with confusion.

 

“Kobayashi-san is back. This way Shimizu-san, Yoshida-san and Katou-san will be able to get the blood transfusion they need. We can finally release them afterwards. I was worried we would never find blood for them.”

 

“It was fairly close, too,” the man sighed, and Kagome leaned closer to the wall she now had her back against, trying to hear better. It was not like her to listen to people's conversations, but this particular one sparked something inside her chest and she couldn't let go of the feeling.

 

“But really? Kobayashi-san? Where has he been, did he say?” the man asked, and Kagome could hear steps coming her way, but she didn't care if anyone saw her here. She could explain that she was resting against the wall for a while.

 

“You know how he is…” the woman said, her tone indicating that she was smiling knowingly.

 

“Ah, yes.”

 

Kagome wondered who this Kobayashi-san was, and her heart beat incredibly loudly in her ears when she took a wild guess.

 

Kobayashi.

 

A fitting name.

 

“Ah, there he is,” the man exclaimed pleasantly and the woman all but squealed. Kagome's eyes widened in panic - was he there? It was a chance that Kobayashi wasn't the boy that oddly resembled her great love, but she highly doubted it in this moment. For the last month the entire hospital had been frantic about the man's sudden disappearance and now these two people sounded ecstatic about a certain Kobayashi that had returned and how now their patients could have blood transfusions. How hard could it be to guess correctly?

 

“Akiyama-sensei, Fukui-sensei,” the voice Kagome had longed to hear acknowledged. Words stuck in her throat when she realized this Kobayashi person sounded slightly gruff. His voice was seemingly more mature than the first and last time she had heard it, and she wondered what had triggered this change. Strangely, it resembled Inuyasha's even more now. It was kind of disturbing.

 

“Kobayashi-san, we did not expect you to be back,” the woman said kindly, her voice ringing nicely in Kagome's ears as delicate bells chiming pleasantly.

 

“I didn't originally intend to come back, Akiyama-sensei,” he said after a few seconds of pausing, “but I had to.”

 

“Oh, had to?”

 

The man Kagome now knew was Fukui-sensei interrupted with a question. “And who is this lovely girl by your side? Is she your girlfriend?”

 

Kagome's head dropped in her stomach. As much as she had intended to stop hiding and confront the two doctors and Kobayashi, she couldn't now. She didn't have the strength to, anymore. He had a… girlfriend? Perhaps not, but why did it hurt so much?

 

Is it because of you, Inuyasha?

 

She hoped it wasn't.

 

“It's the only time she'll be here,” Kobayashi, said, evading the question. Kagome heard a smile in the doctor's voice when he uttered his understanding and felt like suffocating. Kobayashi had avoided answering. If he was anything like Inuyasha, then it was true. Whoever she was, the girl was his girlfriend. He had a girlfriend.

 

Did he love her?

 

The smooth voices sounded more and more distanced as she walked away, trying to make as little sound as possible, though the high-pitched sound her high heels made was hard to muffle. Tears pricked at her eyes and an unexpected and unwelcome sob wrecked her entire body. She was lost.

 

Once again. She had lost him once again.

 

He was never mine in the first place…

 

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The streets were loud as she walked slowly, her mind a chaotic haze. If she thought about Kobayashi, she would end up with a bitter taste in her mouth. If she thought about Inuyasha, there would be a bitter pang inside her heart. Wherever her mind traveled, it would become more painful than having a blade slice though her flesh agonizingly slowly. Physical pain she could deal with. This agony, however, was another thing.

 

And it had been going on since forever.

 

Kagome honestly could not remember a time when she had been happy, free. She couldn't remember the feeling of Inuyasha in her arms; she couldn't remember how it was to ride on his back, to have him grip her thighs protectively so she wouldn't fall, and it was so unfair.

 

Had she forgotten the feel of him? The sight of him - his voice, his touch?

 

Angry tears blamed her for losing such precious things, and deep down she realized that if it hadn't been for Kobayashi she probably wouldn't be able to remember all those things. How Inuyasha looked would always be ingrained in her soul, though she could no longer outline his features even with her naked mind, unless she thought about his similarities to Kobayashi.

 

Wasn't it a shame?

 

His voice, the way he always yelled at her, his gentle words when he knew she was particularly upset, his hoarse tone when they were sharing special moments, she missed them all.

 

“Inuyasha…”

 

She realized she might have spoken perhaps a bit too loud as some people looked at her curiously. The second thing she noticed was that she had stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and blood rushed to her face in embarrassment - she probably looked a bit crazy. Or forlorn. Or both.

 

Soon the sun disappeared under the horizon and Kagome thanked the Kami for the quiet this particular evening brought. Her heart was more mollified right now. Kobayashi was not Inuyasha. Nobody could be Inuyasha, not even the man who had his face and voice.

 

The bench she sat on was cold, but she enjoyed the chilly shivers that made her body quiver. She could recall times when the feudal era had provided similar breezes and it made her feel strangely safe. Like someone was watching over her.

 

Subtle movement on top of the building in front of her had her eyes trailing upwards, inspecting every detail. Panic clutched her heart when she thought she saw something silver shining on the top of the building. Her hand on her chest, Kagome gulped thickly, grimacing at the bitter taste that filled her mouth.

 

She shook her head roughly - her mind had probably played tricks on her.

 

Then she heard something that sounded like grunts and yelps to her right, between the two buildings that could almost passed for semi-detached. The space between them was so narrow that Kagome couldn't imagine someone fitting there. But it sounded like people were fighting and her heart dropped in her stomach when she heard a very, extremely familiar growl resound in the cold evening.

 

Then silence.

 

Utter, terrifying, bone-crashing silence.

 

Something is wrong.

 

She didn't know why, but her feet commanded her to get up and follow the earlier sounds and inspect the situation. She could get mugged, or worse yet - murdered - but she didn't care at the moment. There was something that compelled her to go there and she couldn't help but to oblige.

 

What she saw frightened her. Her harms trembled in alarm when a single figure stood among many, many fallen men. She forced her eyes to collide with the ground firstly, where bulky men that looked like thugs lay with bruised faces and rattled bodies, their eyes closed. One of them was actually surprisingly young, looking almost like a lost, torn boy, lying there in his own thin blood. She crouched next to him, eyes wide when she saw a bloody dagger in his hand. Without thinking, she reached to touch it and grimaced when blood coated her fingers.

 

But her breath was caught in her throat at the most startling view yet - the man that was obviously responsible for this.

 

Kagome knew his name - she'd said it in her mind one too many times even in the last hour.

 

Kobayashi…

 

And he had shoulder-length, silver hair, intense, golden eyes, dog-like ears atop his head and deadly-looking claws.

 

Her vision went blank.

 

°°o°Oo.°o°.O

 

A truck hitting her full-force could not scare her. Having to live on the streets would do virtually nothing to her nerves. Even being a cripple for the rest of her life didn't sound as overwhelming as the fact that she woke up alone in her apartment.

 

He knows where I live.

 

And he looked exactly like Inuyasha. That was intimidating.

 

At least now she understood how he could donate so much blood. So he was… a half-demon? A true hanyou, like Inuyasha had been?

 

Kami-sama…

 

It was hard to swallow, hard to believe. And what did he want with her? How did he know where she lived?

 

Maybe it was a dream.

 

But it wasn't. Even though her fingers appeared clean now, the smell lingering on them was metallic - kind of like blood - and what was even better proof was the dried blood on her blouse, indicating that someone that had been in a fight had carried her. Then came the conclusion.

 

It wasn't a dream.

 

°°o°Oo.°o°.O

 

She couldn't focus on this patient of hers. His problems were unimportant as Kagome couldn't stop thinking about what had happened this morning. She had gone to the espresso machine with a silly hope that she would see him there. And she had, but he had all but run away from her. It was confusing, to say the least, and this man that stood in front of her on a comfortable armchair wouldn't stop whining about how girls didn't find him entertaining enough and how he `just couldn't cope with their bitching'.

 

“Tough,” Kagome snapped suddenly, “but have you ever stopped to think that perhaps they need you to understand them? Maybe you do entertain them just fine, but if you act like the asshole you are being now, then I can understand the lot of them. Get out of my office - I'm tired.” In all reality, her head hurt, her eyes were starting to sting, and she hoped it wasn't from tears.

 

“Hey, woman, what's the matter with you?” He sounded incredulous. “I'm paying for this.”

 

“No, you're not. Now out.” And the door slammed shut.

 

Guilt gripped her instantly; she had snapped at a patient. This wasn't her. But anymore, she didn't know what was her.

 

“Yash!” she heard someone exclaim just outside her office.

 

She grimaced at the shrill voice, but the name the girl was calling… Kagome hurried to her office door and opened it abruptly. She should have flinched or had a stunned reaction, but she wasn't at all surprised to see Inuyasha's look-alike a few steps away from her door, gazing sympathetically at a young girl. The girl looked to be about sixteen at most and was slightly pale.

 

Kobayashi turned shocked eyes at Kagome, almost squirming away, but he seemed to remember something important when he turned glaring eyes on the scrap of a girl in front of him.

 

“How many times have I told you not to come here, Yumi?” He was angry, ignoring Kagome completely. His hair and eyes were dark again, and he had no ears and claws. He seemed very human.

 

“Okay, I'll go home, but I wanted to see you.”

 

His gaze visibly softened and he sighed. Kagome suddenly found herself oddly jealous of the scene in front of her.

 

“I'll be there in half an hour.”

 

Those words that slid out of his mouth smoothly as if spoken to a beloved person hit Kagome harder than a blow to the stomach - it was a blow to her heart. She closed her eyes for a second then moved to return to her office chair when a tentative voice stopped her.

 

“How are you?”

 

That was a safe question, she noticed. It didn't betray anything. She debated on what to do for a second and decided to turn around and face him.

 

“Fine.” Words tumbled in her mind a bit, but she found courage to utter them. “And you? Are you hurt?”

 

“Keh, no,” he scoffed as if it was oh-so-obvious and her eyes narrowed for an instant. So familiar.

 

She meant to ask him who he really was, but her voice didn't comply. “Why did you hurt those men?”

 

He didn't hesitate in answering, his intense gaze holding hers in a tight lock. “They were following you.”

 

Straight questions, short answers. She wanted to understand him, so she avoided the inevitable.

 

“Why do you keep donating blood?”

 

“I'm strong.” was his easy reply. Yes, she knew he was strong - she had witnessed it indirectly. But she heard what he wasn't willing to say: he felt useless not doing anything.

 

I'm strong. I'll protect you.

 

Inuyasha had had that mentality, too.

 

“Kobayashi-san,” she said cautiously, fumbling with the hem of her shirt, “who is that girl?”

 

He sighed; Kagome hadn't expected it. “Her name is Yumi.” She had figured out that much, but waited for him to elaborate. “She's going to die.”

 

Oh…

 

“I've been trying to help her, but the best I could do was to let her live with me. She's seventeen and has an incurable disease.” It seemed that by not saying what disease it was he was trying to deal with the fact that soon the girl would die. There was a strong bond between the two and Kagome would never try to sever it. She was just too ecstatic now to have any envious intentions.

 

“Is that why you donate blood? To help others since you can't help her?”

 

He looked away like a dear caught in the headlights.

 

Kagome smiled. Even if she didn't know anything about this man, she felt drawn to him. For the first time, it occurred to her that he might really be Inuyasha. So she took a few steps and came right in front of him, within touching distance. Her hand reached out towards him but stopped midway as she pondered on something. If she touched him, would she be able to let him go? Did she want to?

 

So she let her hand drop at her side as she bit her bottom lip.

 

“I think…” He trailed off. What he was trying to say was, “It feels like I was born with an awareness of you.”

 

Kagome closed her eyes shut, swallowing the thick saliva that was caught in her throat and forcing her body not to betray her inner struggle. Her eyes opened on their own accord. She had to know.

 

“What's your name?”

 

Dark orbs searched the depth of hers, most likely finding a variety of emotions stored there.

 

“Inuyasha.”

 

And the world collapsed. Kagome threw herself into his arms, ignoring his startled, stiff posture. After a while, as her body was torn by relieved sobs, he softened in her embrace, holding her slightly tighter.

 

“I'm a half demon,” he said and she nodded against his shirt, tears damping it.

 

“I know,” she whispered, a curt laughter bubbling inside her chest and she released it, elation whispering that it was nearly impossible for her to be so happy. She hugged him tighter.

 

“I've been stalking you,” he admitted and she smiled.

 

“I know that, too.”

 

“During the day I'm human” was his final confession and her eyes snapped up to meet his in search for any signs of lying.

 

“Really?” When he didn't answer she smiled warmly. “That I didn't know.” He smiled too.

 

And she realized then that her life was whole again. Inuyasha had found a way to come back to her. If that wasn't proof that their souls were supposed to be together she didn't now what was. Hectic times would surely await them, but she was in his arms and this time there was nothing that could take him away from her. She swore it.

 

Maybe they wouldn't have four kids like Inuyasha had once confessed was his wish, but they were surely going to spend their entire lives together.

 

°°o°Oo.°o°.O

 

Epilogue

 

“Honey, I told you,” the man said unimpressed, flicking through his clothes smoothly. When he found the black-striped tie he was looking for he turned around to look at his beautiful, pregnant wife, and rolled his eyes at her pouting expression. “You're gorgeous.”

 

But she was not convinced. Smirking slyly, he gave her an intimate look that had her eyes wide and her scent wild. Sunbeams were threatening to appear on the sky and his senses were dimming, but he could still smell better than a human so early in the morning.

 

“We'll miss the plane,” she whimpered when he buried his nose in the crook of her neck, inhaling madly.

 

But he ignored her and trailed a searing path of saliva down to her exposed collarbone, triggering a heated response from the woman.

 

“You're gorgeous,” he repeated. “I love you.”

 

Her eyes filled with tears and he smiled, not at all alarmed. Her hormones were getting the best of her these days and he could tell she was truly happy. Although his wife was worried she was too `fat' and `round', he was sure even she noticed the beautiful way she radiated. He liked her best like that - heavy with his child, and the fact that it was the fourth time and he still wasn't tired of it should speak for itself. There was nothing more they could wish for.

 

“Come on, we'll go to Yumi then pick up the kids and then go see your mother,” he said, wrapping the tie around his neck skillfully and watching Kagome hurry to get dressed. She wasn't even that far along anyway - otherwise he'd never risk a plane flight.

 

In half an hour they were at a place they new all too well. The tranquility here was almost eerie and Kagome could hardly believe the sorrow that overtook her. There was no word to describe how sad Inuyasha looked, and she felt grateful for having such a caring husband - his compassion was infinite.

 

“I miss her,” he said, squeezing his wife's hand as he read the words engraved on the tombstone for the umpteenth time.

 

“I do, too,” Kagome confessed, smiling as the wind picked up around the two. Yumi missed them as well, it seemed. “She knows we won't forget her.” She had died a few weeks before turning eighteen and Inuyasha had been devastated. Kagome had let him grieve silently for almost a week until he had returned to her arms and cried. He had been taking care of the girl since he'd turned sixteen - when his parents passed away and he had to look after himself.

 

“Let's go,” she urged after a while and he nodded, smiling faintly. They had to return to her family, to the shrine she had grown up in. They probably missed her because it had been years since she had seen them. They only knew their eldest son because she had only visited once, but both she and Inuyasha had found it more comfortable to remain in Yumi's hometown, where they had taken her on her deathbed.

 

In another half an hour they were trying to get their two sons to be quiet and do as they said. Their little daughter was the only one who listened to them and they both hoped their upcoming child would be a girl, as well. Those two boys were little devils.

 

“Come on, mommy,” the smiling husband said, grabbing her ass playfully, relishing her surprised squeal.

 

Kagome placed a hand on her stomach and glared at her dark-haired husband, flushing when she saw him chuckle mirthfully.

 

“Whatever,” she said in fake annoyance. “You get to deal with the kids.” Yet his smile never faded as she'd expected, proving that he was, indeed, insanely happy with his family. And it didn't matter to her that his soul had once belonged to another half-demon in another era; she didn't even think of the differences or similarities between them - for Kagome, it was just Inuyasha and her, and they were finally happy together with a family of their own.

 

Zutto Ikite…

 

It had never sounded better.