Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Aches of the heart ❯ Dreaming wide awake ( Chapter 10 )

 

The sounds of hasty footsteps that were heard coming down the hall echoed against the naked walls of the establishment and they all looked up, in hope to see a doctor or anyone who could inform them on Kairi's state.

A young woman with long, curly brown hair was walking hand in hand with her companion, a loving smile adorning her face as she looked at the little baby she carried in her left arm.

Cloud watched them pass by with eyes brimming from the tears, the accumulated frustration and feeling of guilt threatening to make him collapse. It was Leon's comforting presence that kept him from giving in. "What is fucking taking them so long?" He whispered, taking a deep breath, fighting back the tears once more.

Sora was trying to oppress his own fears as he suddenly stood from his sitting position next to Riku on one of the chairs in the wait-room and walked over to the window in the back. He actually didn't know what to do to keep himself from worrying to death.

"Ange…"

"I'm scared." He whispered, resting the back of his head against a welcoming shoulder.

Riku pressed his lips against the crown of his head and closed his eyes. "I know, I am too…"

Sora took a shaky breath as the arms surrounding him tightened their hold on him, giving slight comfort to his state of distress.

Wakka sat silently on his chair, bent over and resting his head on his hands, staring into the distance. He had simply sat himself down when they had told them that Kairi was still being operated. His silence was his way of coping with all that was happening. Giving into panic wasn't his style and he knew that he'd be more useful to Kairi if he kept his head clear.

A blonde haired nurse then approached them, making the entire group turn their heads in his direction. "Are you here for Kairi Miyaki?"

Cloud hopefully lifted his head away from Leon's chest and took a step in the direction of the young man. "Yes, are the doctors done with surgery?" He shakily whispered.

The nurse nodded and then turned to the entire group. "She's recovering now, but we can allow but two persons in the room with her for the time being."

Wakka stood up. "Have the doctors said if she is going to be okay after this?"

"Doctor Shinji will tell you more about her state. He's waiting for you in front of her room."

"Just go you guys, we'll wait here." Sora told Wakka and Cloud.

"Tell her we love her." Riku added with a soft smile, holding Sora closer.

With a nod, Wakka and Cloud followed the nurse down the hall to the intensive care centre and disappeared behind the large green doors.

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The shadows cast on the walls by the fire burning in the fireplace were dancing in the dark, their forms strangely comforting to the young brunette sitting in front of the burning pile of wood.

Two days had passed since the accident and Christmas Eve was tomorrow.

Not that Sora even cared anymore, with all that had happened. It was hard to see the good things in the world after everything all of them had been put through.

Sleep had proven itself to be traitorous enemy now; his mind had rendered itself to dark thoughts and endless sessions of worrying prevented him to find the depths of a careless sleep.

 

"…She suffered major damage to her uterus, we stopped the haemorrhage but I'm afraid that the scar tissue that will form there will make it impossible for her to carry, let alone bear a child…"

 

He did not know why the news hurt him so much personally. Becoming a parent himself was a dream he had put aside a while ago when he knew Riku would be his partner for life. Yet something had died within him when the doctor had delivered them the news. In his dreams, he couldn't stop hearing a child crying, it felt like it was blaming him, accusing him of making it so sad and so lonely. It wrenched his heart to hear those cries, making him feel guilty for not using his semen to a more useful purpose…

Kairi turned from a young, attractive and fertile woman to an un-fertile one. It wasn't her fault, she did not choose for it, but he was young and very fertile and he wasn't using his ability for procreation out of his own choice… Two years ago he had cast away his hopes for having a child on a boat with Riku holding him in his arms. He had thought that those feelings had been gone, why did he have to be feeling like this now?

Pulling his legs up his body, he rested his chin on his kneecaps, gazing into the fire, an emptiness starting to fill his heart, an unexplainable feeling of loneliness and fear taking hold of him.

"Does this make me a murderer…?" His whisper got lost in the shimmering darkness surrounding him. "Is this even right?"

He closed his eyes and sighed, wiping away the tears he hadn't noticed before. For some reason his mind suddenly had to replay the events of his assault a few days ago, messing everything up more. He couldn't help but feel, and now even more with what had happened, like an empty shell, something that could be easily disposed off, something meaningless and without purpose…

"Sora?" Naked footsteps coming from the hall could be heard as he turned his head to the sound and soon gentle hands were laid on his shoulders. "Sora, it's 2 o'clock in the morning, what are you doing here?" Riku kneeled next to him on the carpet and noticed his tears glistening in the light of the fire. "What's wrong babe?" He whispered, taking him in his arms.

"I just… I—" Sora sniffled back against his chest, clinging to him. "I just feel like…"

Riku ran his right hand through the mass of brown hair and held him close, shutting his eyes and pressing a kiss on the crown of his head. "Like what? Talk to me ange…" He could feel his heart break at the soft sobs that started against his chest.

"It should've been me. It's not fair; it should've been me…" Sora sobbed, his tears flowing down his cheeks as he gritted his teeth in anger and frustration. "It's not fair, Riku…"

Riku held him protectively against his chest, making small shushing sounds to try and calm his little lover. "It's alright, babe… It's alright…"

Sora shook his head and detached himself from him, his tears still rolling down his cheeks. "No, it's not… What are we doing? Why do we make love, what's the use? I receive your seed, but it goes to waste! I can't give you children! And god…" Sora paused and looked at him with pain filled eyes. "I'm so scared…" He whispered, his voice small and fragile, "I don't want to feel like I have nothing inside of me, like I don't mean anything..."

Riku gave him a gentle smile and wiped away the tears rolling down his left cheek with his thumb. He had wondered when Sora would finally yield to the pain he had been carrying inside of him since the incident on that parking lot a few days ago… He had figured that Kairi's accident would be a trigger, because he knew that that was just how it all worked in his Sora's head.

"Sora… I was wondering when you'd finally break down…" Riku whispered with a soft smile. "It's alright… I understand how you feel and I'm here." He took him in an embrace and tightened his grip on him. "I know you're feeling guilty and scared because of what happened to Kairi, but what happened to her doesn't say anything about you or us…"

"But I feel so empty inside… My heart, it feels like it's on the verge of breaking…" The brunette whispered, his voice taking on a panicked tone as he trembled from trying to talk while sobbing at the same time.

Baby, hey…" Riku soothingly whispered, looking at him now. "It's going to be alright… "He smiled at him. "One day, when we'll both be ready, I want to have children, make a family with you."

Sora whispered his name and held him close, his hands grasping frantically at the fabric of his t-shirt. "Riku… I'm scared almost all the time… a-and it's like I can't get rid of it, that fear… It's everywhere and I-I can't— I can't shake it…" His tears now flew down his cheeks as he cried his bitter sorrow, desperately trying to find a peace of mind, needing something to hold himself on to even if it was only for a little while.

"Let me fill the emptiness for now, Sora. Let me be your shield…" Riku closed his eyes, rocking them back and forth. "Let me be what you need… for now, please?"

"I can't…" Sora whimpered, holding him tighter. "I can't… Please help me…"

"Oh Sora…" Riku shushed, rocking their bodies back and forth. "It's okay…" He let Sora finish crying his tears. "I'll never leave you; you'll always have me to protect you. I love you, Sora Nagakawa."

A watery smile appeared on his face while it was against Riku's chest and nodded. "Just hold me…"

This made Riku kiss him on the crown of his head and tighten his grip. "I'm here…"

"Riku… Thank you so much for being you." Sora whispered, looking at him now. "Since day one, I've loved you so much."

"Feeling a little better?" Riku whispered softly, taking him back in his arms and pressing a soft kiss on the crown of his head. He felt Sora slightly nod against his chest and he tightened his hold on him. "I told you before Sora, and it wasn't a childish wish." The silver haired one whispered, looking down into his beautiful face and brushing a few stray locks of brown behind both of his ears before cupping his face. "No matter what has happened these last few days... You and me? It's forever." He then chuckled; "And I'm sorry to say, that you'll never get rid of me. I'm like cockroaches. I pop up everywhere"

Sora giggled up at him and closed his eyes as Riku's lips descended upon his. This was the Riku he loved; always trying to make him feel good, even in times like these. "Well then, I guess I love you, Mister Cockroach."

"You guess?" Riku chuckled, tentatively brushing his fingertips over Sora's left side making him giggle. "And I who thought that I had your unconditional love…" He was tickling Sora now, eliciting more giggles from the brunette who was soon writhing in his arms, begging for mercy.

"Ah-hahaha…! R-Riku, stop…! I l-love you, okay? At least, I think I do…?" Sora was now lying on his back, trying desperately to keep Riku's hands away from his body. "Oh god, please stop-ahahaha…! I… love you, I surrender, Mister Cockroach!"

"How much do you love me?" Riku asked, his hands stopping their tickle-attacks on him.

"This much!" Sora said, spreading his arms wide with a grin.

"That much?" The older male whispered back, chuckling at how cute Sora was right now.

"Yes, that much." The brunette whispered, his hands now joining behind Riku's neck. "And even more, but my arms are too short."

Riku chuckled. "Is that your final answer?"

Sora nodded. "It's my only answer." He softly whispered up to him, his right hand moving up to brush some of his long silver locks behind his left ear. "I can't thank you enough for all the things you do for me. No one will ever compare to you, you're the only one who truly understands me."

"At your service 24/7…" Riku whispered back, though the airy tone of his voice had been replaced by a more serious one as Sora pulled him down on the carpet. "Are you sure? We can't make too much noise…"

"I don't care…" Sora whispered back, already pulling Riku's drawstring pants down his hips with a hand while wriggling out of his shorts with the help of his other. They both let out a soft moan as their crotches came in contact with each other, their flesh awakening to the sensual friction.

"I need you…"

Riku positioned himself so, that he was on his knees with Sora's calves resting on his shoulders and he could open the bathrobe the brunette had put over his naked torso. His eyes ran over his wanting face and his slightly parted lips whispering his name, to his body that was glowing in the light of the fire, his chest rising and lowering as he panted slightly from the anticipation and growing need for completion. He bent over, capturing a nipple between his lips, the tip of his tongue playing teasingly with the small digit while his ears listened to the sweet melody of his moaned out name and the delicious sound of trembling gasps and whimpers.

Slowly, very, very slowly, he then made his way down Sora's heaving body, his arms encircling his waist as he arched, keeping him in access range as he showed his adoration for the beautiful body given to him so willingly.

A sharp gasp escaped Sora when Riku engulfed him whole, his head rolling to the side and his right hand sliding into his hair at the overdose of sexual stimuli that shot up his spine. "A-ahh…"

Riku watched him with eyes glazed over by raw lust, his head moving slightly up and down while his hands kept Sora's body at his mercy. His little lover was far gone into his pleasure now, his body and mind both crying out for only one thing, and he was himself in no state to refuse him that.

Sora was trembling like a child trembling from a severe fever, he didn't seem to have any control over his body, his senses having taking over now, making the slightest movement of air causing him to moan uncontrollably. He watched with a feeling of helplessness how Riku removed his pyjama pants and pulled his hips closer to his, pressing up against his entrance.

"I'm sorry, there's no lube…" Riku bent over slightly and slid two fingers passed Sora's lips, watching how the brunette took suckle for a moment before removing his fingers to place them at his entrance.

"R-Riku…I'm—I'm ready now…" Sora panted after a few thrust from Riku's fingers. "Come inside of me…"

Placing his hands on his hips again, Riku pulled Sora to him, pushing past the tight ring of muscles and into his welcoming warmth. "Oh Sora…" He lowered his calves from his shoulder and positioned himself in between his legs, capturing his little brunette's begging lips with his accepting ones, feeling the need to be connected with him in as many ways as possible.

"Ah, yes… ah-ah!" Sora broke the kiss, arching at the series of fast and hard strokes before getting captured in another lip lock as the thrusts slowed and became languorous and deep, making his body tremble and moan uncontrollably.

"Sora…"

"Ouhh…" Sora countered, closing his eyes and arching at the strong hand grabbing hold of his left thigh, helping Riku to hit that sensitive place inside of him. "Oh god, that's it…" He whined in a high pitched tone, feeling tears forming in the corners of his eyes before Riku kissed them away.

"I love you, Sora…" Riku whispered before beginning his series of deep and fast thrusts that would lead him to his release.

Sora cried out at the increasing speed, feeling his orgasm come on as well. "Give it to me…" He sobbed, holding on to him tightly, desperately wanting to feel that feeling of perfect completion. "C-cum inside…"

With a stretched out growl Riku shot his seed deep within Sora, feeling him tremble with the force of his own shattering orgasm beneath him.

Softly sobbing, Sora held Riku against him, caressing his hair and kissing his face while whispering soft words of thanks.

When he found his strength back, Riku lifted his head and kissed him deeply. As the brunette gave a surprised sound, he pulled back to give him a crooked grin. "Do you still feel empty…?"

"Ahh… You're hard… again…?" Sora moaned, closing his eyes at the length throbbing to life again within him. "R-Riku-uhnn…"

The silver haired one did not answer but moved in to kiss him again and placed his elbows on either side of Sora's head, brushing away the dampened locks of hair that had come to cling against his face before thrusting inside of him again.

"Ouhh…!" Sora moaned up to him, feeling so loved it was almost overwhelming. There was no feeling of loneliness or one of emptiness, he felt so much life in him right now, so much love he didn't want anything else. This was what he had had thought missing, but he had had it all along. Riku had reminded him of this, and he felt even more blessed to have this man in his life.

For now, this was all he needed, for now this was enough; he couldn't ask for anything more.

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A naked arm slid around his waist, spooning him against Leon's resting body as they both lay on the bed, a moist kiss pressing on the nape of his neck. He sighed, placing his hands on the arms holding him, waiting for a sleep that never came.

Listening for any sign of his lover's awakening after the passing of many moments, he disengaged himself from the embrace he was held in and made his way to the door, making sure no sound caused Leon to wake.

Arriving in the hall at the end of the stairs, he saw the soft glow of the dying fire coming from the lounge room, the forms of Riku and Sora's sleeping bodies cuddled up on the right couch underneath the TV-blanket.

He turned and walked away, moving himself to the piano room.

There he let his fingers glide over the keyboard without much attention, only to find a feeling of sadness taking hold of him as the few notes vibrated in the bright, moonlit darkness.

His eyes laid themselves on the full moon shining through the naked tree branches and on the besnowed scenery, his forehead connecting with the glass of the window as he sighed and closed his eyes.

Kairi had been pregnant.

It had been such a hard reality to gobble down, not only for her, but for him as well. The chances of her ever carrying again were extremely slim.

He was worried sick about her, but after two days of constantly being by her side, Leon had convinced him to return to the chalet and rest, but he was way too agitated to find sleep, let along just rest.

Wakka was with her now, and he had to admit that the redhead had proven himself to be a real source of support to his sister, his calm nature and comforting words reaching further than his own neurotic and anxious state of mind. He knew he would take care of her, because it was undeniable to everyone that he loved her deeply and that he was prepared to do anything to procure her the happiness she deserved and needed right now.

A rustle of fabric and the shuffling of feet were suddenly heard behind him and he started to turn when a deep, sultry voice greeted him.

"You should be asleep because you need your rest."

His eyes fell on Sephiroth, who was standing by the door, wearing nothing but his pyjama bottoms, his naked torso seeming to glow in the pale light.

Cloud didn't respond, yet simply turned his head away again, closing his eyes. "I can't find sleep…"

A hand was laid on his right shoulder. "Then at least try to rest."

"Please Sephiroth." He whispered back, turning his head towards the hand that lay on his shoulder. "I have a lot on my mind."

"I can imagine…" The older man whispered understandingly, yet not moving his hand from its current position on Cloud's shoulder. "We can talk, if you want, koishii."

Cloud closed his eyes and looked away again, shaking his head. The pet name Sephiroth had given him so long ago didn't have the slightest effect on him anymore. It was as if there had been shackles squeezing around his heart, keeping him for letting his past go. He felt free now, free to take the next step forward.

"I thank you for your concern." He whispered feeling Sephiroth come closer and place another hand on his other shoulder. "But I would like to be alone now."

"Understandable." Sephiroth replied, his hands now sliding down Cloud's arms.

"There is no need for this any longer, Seph." Cloud whispered softly, turning around again, and facing him once more. "I have already made my choice."

A serene expression formed on the taller man's face, making it hard to see if he felt any emotion at all for what Cloud was going to tell him. Or was he that confident about the answer to the question he had asked the blonde last week?

"The time I spent with you will forever be written in my heart. I cherish the times when we argued and loved afterwards, the times you showed me how much you truly loved me. But you and I know the reason why we broke up. My trust in you has been shattered and up until today it hasn't fully returned and I don't think it ever will be the same way it was before." Cloud resisted the urge to look away or close his eyes; he wanted Sephiroth to understand that he was being dead serious; he had to make things clear between them once and for all. "Despite the hard time you put me through, I found love again and he's the only one I want to be with. We love each other and what you and I did didn't change that one bit." Cloud fell silent as Sephiroth suddenly took a step closer to him. He then gasped as he bent over and took him into an embrace, countless questions playing through his mind; his eyes open wide in surprise.

Without any warning, Sephiroth then tightened his hold on him, sighing softly into his right ear. "Cloud. I won't give up on us…" He then pressed his lips against the blonde's forehead. "The way your heartbeat is racing inside of your chest must mean that you do have some feelings left for me, don't you? How can I accept what you said if you're not being sincere?"

Cloud kept his lips sealed, his eyes closed as he received another kiss, right before Sephiroth bid him goodnight and left the room.

Damn you Sephiroth… Damn you…

It was as if things didn't want to stop getting more and more unbearable with each passing minute.

Now he didn't only have his sister to worry about, but also his passive-aggressive ex-boyfriend.

Why can't you just let me be?

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The orchids standing next to her on the nightstand were swaying slightly in the small breeze that came from the slightly opened door; the teddy bears sitting at the end of her feet were smiling sweetly at her, the big red and pink hearts embroidered on their bellies wishing for her to get well soon.

The balloons standing next to her bed were casting blue, yellow, green and pink shadows on her face because of the light coming from in between the light green curtains.

She turned her head to the left, finding Wakka sleeping in the bed next to hers and sighed. She looked up at the ceiling, her hands moving around her lower belly.

Before she could even start to hold them back, the tears were already flowing, soon followed by soft wails of the overwhelming feelings of loss and emptiness.

She crawled into a foetal position, holding on to her waist, searching for solace in her suddenly pain filled, yet empty world.

"Baby?" Came a soft whisper from behind her, followed by a pair of comforting arms encircling her waist. Wakka lay himself behind her on the bed, simply holding her, knowing that more words wasn't what she needed right now.

"Do you still love me?" She whispered, holding on to the arms around her tightly. "Do you still want me? Even now that I'm only half a woman?"

"Of course." Wakka whispered back, pressing a kiss at the nape of her neck. "Kairi, I love you so much. I couldn't start imagining my life without you in it."

Her face contorted itself again, more tears flowing out of her closed eye-lids. "I lost our baby..." She whimpered.

"Shhh... we both didn't even know you were pregnant..." Wakka consoled her, squeezing their joined hands softly.

"Are you relieved?" She asked softly, her eyes now open as she blankly stared at the orchids next to her bed.

"We both weren't ready for this child, Kai..." Wakka whispered, closing his eyes and snuggling closer to her. "But if you had decided to keep it, it would have been alright too."

"Even if we both weren't ready?"

"For some things you can't ever be ready enough." He whispered back, kissing her left temple. "We would've managed."

At this she broke down in tears again and he simply held her, consoling her with his presence and love he had for her.

An hour or two passed as they lay on the bed like that, morning soon turning into noon and with noon, came the time for departure.

"Ready?" Cloud asked Wakka as he waited with Kairi in the hallway. Wakka closed the door to the now vacant hospital room and handed Kairi one of the teddy bears Sora had given her.

"Please tell me Sora or Leon cooked, because I've had enough of this salt-less hospital food!" Kairi said from her wheelchair as they entered the elevator.

Cloud chuckled at her and started to push her forward. "Leon and Sora cooked today, just for you."

"Nice. Can't wait to get out of here." She replied with a smile.

Both Wakka and Cloud exchanged a look and they smiled softly in turn. Kairi was trying very hard right now to get herself together and honestly be happy for everyone who had supported her during the last week.

"So you guys honestly postponed Christmas just for me?" She asked with a giggle looking up at them from her seat.

"It wouldn't have been much fun without you there anyways." Cloud whispered back with a smile. "And the majority of the gifts under the tree are for you so we had to wait for the star."

She giggled again and squeezed her teddy bear in between her hands in excitement. "They better be big gifts."

"You'll just have to wait and see for yourself, doll." Wakka said with a smirk before stepping out of the now stopped elevator. "It's a surprise."

Cloud smiled at them both and then told Wakka to take over the wheelchair so he could go and arrange the paperwork that still needed to be filled in at the main counter for Kairi's checking out.

"Dude, you promised you'd pay us!" A hooded man loudly whispered as he talked into the phone of a phone booth not so far away from Cloud. "It's been 10 days already! Yea, they released me, just like you said they would, yea they bought it... So when can I receive the rest of my pay?"

Cloud frowned a little in annoyance and turned to look at the person. He found the guy staring at his rear as he was bent over the counter and chuckled as he was caught. They exchanged glances and Cloud went to sit himself down in one of the chairs in the waiting room, feeling annoyed.

"68 Ars Arcanum Lane? No I don't, but I'll be there in an hour. 78th floor, right."

Cloud stood back up to return the form to the lady waiting for it at the counter just as the man hung up and walked passed him, rearranging his hood so his fiery red hair went hidden underneath it more and disappearing through the revolving glass doors of the entrance.

"Thank you, sir. Have a nice day." The young nurse said, taking Cloud's form and taking it with her to her computer.

But Cloud wasn't listening anymore; something had just clicked in his head.

"That guy looked familiar... his eyes, his hair... Where...?"

It's been 10 days already!

"He's that guy who..." Cloud whispered in slow realisation and horror. "But how...?"

Yea, they released me, just like you said they would, yea they bought it... So when can I receive the rest of my pay?

"Impossible..." Cloud suddenly felt like he was going to be sick. "Don't tell me that he..."

Ars Arcanum Lane 68 is where Sephiroth's enterprise is seated. His office is on the 78th floor...

 

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"Cloud Strife is here to see you sir."

 

"Let him in, Lenne." Sephiroth spoke into the intercom, standing up to receive his guest.

The doors to his office opened and Cloud stepped in with a determined look on his face.

"Good afternoon, Cloud. To what do I owe this sudden visit? I thought that Kairi was supposed to get out of the hospital today?" Sephiroth greeted him with a content smile as he leaned against his desk with his arms fold against his chest.

"Had any red-headed rapists in here lately?" Cloud immediately asked, staring him dead in the eyes, clenching his fists that lay at his side.

One perfectly shaped silver eyebrow rose in a silent question, but Cloud did not seem to get fooled, so he unfolded his arms and rest them on the desk on each side of him with a smile. "You know, I have never been able to lie to you, Cloud."

"Answer the damn question!" Cloud spoke, losing his patience.

Sephiroth chuckled softly, bending over and closing his eyes. "I was sure you would come to figure it out some day. You're just perceptive like that."

Cloud couldn't believe what he had just heard. So it had been Sephiroth all along?! He had been behind Sora's assault? He had orchestrated it?! "Why?" He whispered in a horrified tone. "Why?!"

"Can't you see it, Cloud? All I've been doing, all of this is for you, only for you..."

Cloud, still in shock, simply turned to look at Sephiroth, and as he came closer, he backed away. "What's wrong?" the white haired man asked. Cloud could only look with a fixed gaze. A gaze of seriousness yet at the same time, filled with pain.

"I... I can't... I can't even look at you anymore..." Cloud spoke, his voice strong, yet on verge of cracking, "What you did... To me, to us... To them... How could you...? You're a monster!" There were so many mixed emotions in his voice. Anger, pain, sadness.

Sephiroth took a step closer to take hold of the smaller of the two, but grasped only air; Cloud was too vigilant to be caught off guard.

"I never... not even in a picture, want to see your disgusting face again." Cloud firmly announced to the man in front of him. "If I could, I'd rip out the images of you from my subconscious, but I'll just have to deal with those."

Sephiroth's expression was one of coolness, but there was something else in it... Something... Unseen. "So, you're going to leave again?" the platinum haired one asked.

"Oh, yes." Cloud replied, "And this time, to a place where I'll be sure to not see you by mistake!"

Sephiroth simply turned around and stood in front of his desk. "I see... So... Your heart truly does lie with him... Doesn't it?" he asked calmly.

"What?" Cloud asked, a face of disturbance upon him.

"Is it that you love Leon too much to leave him?" Sephiroth asked straightforwardly. "Or are you perhaps afraid that he might harm you if you come back?" the silver haired man said, now looking straight at Cloud, his left hand resting on his desk.

Cloud's was shocked as he heard this, but he barely had time to even analyze those words when the next ones came. "Because, if you're afraid of him, I can take care of him. I can make sure that he won't come between us." Sephiroth was now turning around, his voice slowly losing it's cool, calculated tone.

"You think this is about Leon?!" Cloud interrupted as Sephiroth was about to start another part of his little rant.

"Isn't it?" Sephiroth asked.

"No! My God..." Cloud ran a hand through his hair, and began to walk in circles. "You can't even see it... You don't even -know- what's going on!"

"Like I said, I can take care of him, the same way I took care of Riku and S--" Sephiroth began but his face soon encountered his left cheek to be overcome with a burning sensation. Slowly, he rose a hand to feel, and arranged his gaze to see what had happened; Cloud had slapped him.

"How dare you bring that up in my presence!" Cloud yelled, "You know something? You're sad."

Sephiroth simply looked with his cold eyes, still shocked.

"It's sad... That the great, calculated Sephiroth, top graduate from one of the greatest schools in the country can't see what's going on right in front of his nose; you can't even understand it!" Cloud said lowering and raising his voice, indication that his rage was sinking deeper into his heart.

"Let me set things in proportion for you, just so you can see things clearly, Mr. Makoto." Cloud stated. "You set this whole thing up from the very beginning, in an elaborate ploy to try and win me back." Cloud was now the one walking around the office, the switch of dominance clear in the atmosphere.

"However--" Sephiroth began, but was immediately cut off by the blonde.

Cloud was now no more than 2 fingers distance from Sephiroth's face. "You caused for Sora and Riku to endure inhumane sufferings because of your own greed, Sephiroth. You made them get hurt because of me, no, no, because of -you-." Cloud said in silent exclamation. "And now... This is the price that you pay."

Cloud was now at the foot of the steps that led to the door to exit the office. "Goodbye, Mr. Sephi--" but before he could finish his sentence, Sephiroth fell on his knees in his position in the centre of the office. Cloud tried to listen, to the sound he was emitting. Cries...? Or was it... Laughter? Sobs? What was it?

Cloud began to walk closer, slowly and with caution, the sound becoming clearer as he got closer. But these sobs were not just tears, there were words tied to them.

"If you had asked me to give you the world, I would have served it to you on a silver platter..." Sephiroth whispered, his face invisible from underneath his bangs.

Cloud closed his eyes and sighed, turning his face away from this sight. "Seph..."

"Look what you've done to me!" He whispered, looking at his trembling hands, his teeth gritted as he fought against the next wave of tears. "Look at what I've become." He now gazed at him with pain filled eyes, tinted with a hint of heartfelt remorse.

Cloud took a step back at this unsettling sight, Sephiroth's jade eyes piercing into his sapphire ones with such intensity it was hardly bearable. "How can you put the blame on me?" He whispered with a trembling voice, not wanting to feel sorry for him, not wanting to get caught into his web of deceit again.

"How can I not?" Sephiroth whispered softly, a slightly disturbing smile appearing on his face. "You're the only one I've ever felt so strongly about, the only one who's made me go to such lengths to gain love from." He then chuckled, although a lonely tear travelled the long his right cheek. "You drive me crazy."

Cloud could only feel pity for this man now, closing his eyes and turning away. "My love for you died a long time ago, Sephiroth. I have nothing left to tell you. Nothing left to give you." He softly spoke, turning around now, preparing himself to leave. "Please take care of yourself."

"No..."

Cloud halted for a second, but forced himself to continue on to the exit.

"No, you can't do this to me..."

There were not going to be any more turn backs.

"You can't leave me!"

There was nothing left to hold him back.

"Cloud!"

He was free.

"I SAID THAT YOU CANNOT LEAVE ME!"

The door he had started to open suddenly fell shut again under the weight of a heavy hand that was slammed upon it right above his head.

Cloud gasped in fright, removing his hand from the doorknob. Without turning around to face him, he found back his cool and calmly whispered; "Let me go."

Sephiroth closed his eyes, standing close enough to smell Cloud's sent, obviously enjoying their current closeness. "You're not going anywhere."

Suddenly, a loud clicking sound was heard from behind the door, the door's locks shutting themselves.

Cloud gasped again and this time turned to face him, not able to hide his frightened state any longer. He saw the small lock-control device in his right hand and looked up at him, giving him a gaze of utter disbelieve. "Sephiroth, let me go!"

The older man didn't answer, but only approached towards the blonde further, leaning into him while putting the locking device in his right hand pocket. His now free right hand then moved to take hold of Cloud's chin.

"Don't touch me!" Cloud venomously said, slapping his hand away only to have it close around his throat a moment later.

Sephiroth chuckled as he watched Cloud fight back against his grip for a moment before applying more pressure in warning. Immediately the blonde stopped fighting and he chuckled again in satisfaction. "I am not going to let you ruin our love like this, koishii. Not after all I have done to maintain it." Sephiroth whispered his eyes cold and harsh as he looked at him. "You're not going anywhere."'

"Seph, you're hurting me...!" Cloud managed, struggling to breathe. "Please... st-stop! You're being crazy!"

"You're mine, koishii." Sephiroth whispered, now close enough to brush away the starters of Cloud's tears with his lips. "I've allowed your little street rat to fuck you for a while, but even I can lose patience." He brushed a few blonde locks away from his crying face. "Your body, mind and soul belong solely to me."

With brute force he then ripped open Cloud's shirt, the buttons flying all around them, and then moved to loosen his pants.

"Sephiroth, stop, please!" Cloud pleaded, unable to hold his sobs in any longer. Angst was now rippling down the blonde's spine, knowing very well what was about to happen. "If you truly love me—"

"Oh but I do." Sephiroth smirked back maniacally. "But since you don't know what's best for you, you leave me with no choice."

"Sephiroth..." Cloud whispered softly, more tears rolling down his face before harsh lips descended on his trembling ones.

___________________________________________________

 

Japanese vocabulary list:

-Koishii : beloved

 

To be continued…

 

-BDP-

 

 

 

 

 

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