Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ At the Psychiatrist ❯ Sick Love Cycles ( Chapter 2 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Chapter Two, in which: King Mickey gets emo, Roxas (and Riku) finds out about Sora's recent visits to the yaoi gallery, Hayner broadens his idiotic grin, Axel enjoys breaking tables with Roxas, Fuu remembers seeing Namine running around naked in the Abandoned Mansion, and Jane solves the sick love cycle.

Non Anime: Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Mystery / Romance | Type: Shounen-ai | Uploaded On: 04.03.2008 | Pages: 4 | Words: 5.5K | Visits: 177 | Status: Work In Progress

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At the Psychiatrist's
- Chapter Two -

King Mickey has always been a curious… mouse.

“What did you need the first-aid kit for?”

The masked man in front of him sighed heavily.

----->FLASHBACK<-----

“Catlyn couldn't bare... buzz... constant bashing anymore... buzz... picked up her newborn and rifle... zzzzz... Just when... zzz...get her revenge... buzzz... true enemy appeared! Zzzz... Turns out... zz... Rodriguez was a good guy! Zzzzzz... Secret like that! Buzzzzz....”

Corybantic yellow eyes met a bunch of sunny colors as the raven-haired girl on the computer screen put down her book and pulled out... drawings... of the story she had been reading to her patients. One illustration showed a rabbit with a suit, also known as Rodriguez, ordering around his wife who had a bucket on her head and was cleaning the floor with a mop. The next doodle consisted of Catlyn, the wife, standing with a gun and a baby bunny, making a face that screamed out “HOWDAREYOUCHEATONMEWITHTHATFREELOADERPROSTITUTE!” at Rodriguez.

Not more than five seconds passed before the amber-eyed man felt something wet and warm slip down from the corner of his eyes. His vision slowly started to become hazy... and his head started to hurt a lot... an awful lot... He could clearly feel a pang in his heart. It was, indeed, the most depressing story he had ever heard.

“Daddy...” he heard himself whimper, “Daddy, I'm not feeling ok...”

Hurried footsteps followed his sobs, and when DiZ came into the room, he instantaneously gasped.

“Xehanort!” he shrieked as he hurriedly stumbled over to the chair where Xehanort was sitting. “Oh, Norty-poo, my baby! How did this happen?!?”

The other man sniffed harder.

“Daddy… Those dra-drawings...” he hiccupped deplorably, “They... They...”

Now all he saw was red.

“THEY MADE MY EYES BLEED! THOSE FUCKING RABBITS MADE MY EYES BLEED! AND YOU CALL THEM DRAWINGS?! FUCK THOSE FUCKING BUNNIES! I'M SO FUCKING GONNA KILL THEM!

----->END OF FLASHBACK<-----

When DiZ finished the story, King Mickey roughly pushed his gloved hand inside his mouth to prevent any form of laughter to come out. Never, and underline never, laugh when DiZ IS in a bad mood.

“I'm in a bad mood,” mumbled DiZ with his British accent (which, by the way, was making the situation even more hilarious and thus worse for King Mickey).

The Mouse King did not dare remove his hand from his mouth. He couldn't - it got stuck. So he took a piece of paper and a pen from DiZ's desk and began writing a reply to the last statement... Too bad that the hand in his mouth was his right one, and he was not left-handed. And to make matters worse, he still had his gloves on, which made it impossible to write anything decipherable. After quite a bit of struggling, he managed to remove his glove using his foot and write a bunch of misshaped but readable letters.

`Do you want me to kill the “artist?”'

DiZ smiled as he licked his lips hungrily. He shook his head.

“No,” he objected, “I think she can be of use to us and our future plans...”

If he could have, the crowned mouse would've gasped.

`What do you mean?'

DiZ's grin grew impossibly wider.

“This girl...” he started dreamily, “She has caught my interest. Jackwell-kun left her with Sora and the others for only half an hour, and look at the incredible effect.”

He fished out a remote control and switched on the TV. He took a CD out of his pocket and put it into the DVD player. After it finished loading, it started playing a scene where the infamous artist girl was seen exiting the room. Shortly after, a ruby-haired boy with glassed blue eyes, recognized as Jack, entered the room. Instantly, muffled wails were heard through the speakers, and out of a corner of the screen a redhead girl was seen screeching and running towards him, only to accidentally trip on a foot he unsuspectingly extended. Then suddenly, the camera looked as if it was thrown on the ground, and now the monitor was displaying the image of legs coming out of baggy red shorts stomping endlessly on it.

“Bzzz... Bitch wazzzz... MEANIE! Zzzz... Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzz....SKINFLINTzzzzzzzz... Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!! NIGGARD! Zzz... Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”

The camera then decided that it really had enough of being abused, so it cracked, and the video stopped. King Mickey was, duh, scared shitless. What the hell did DiZ find so remarkable about that monster girl?! She was the worst serial killer he has ever seen in his short-lived life! How could she possibly be of use to them?! She's on their side! That Utada woman and Jack guy had a lethal weapon under their control...

`She's too dangerous, and to make it worse, Utada's is in charge of her, and that woman is even more dangerous! How can you possibly think of making her pass on our side without getting killed in the process?!'”

DiZ snickered.

“The exact same way I made you pass on my side… Mickey-kun,” he stressed his voice when he pronounced his name.

King Mickey slightly cringed. This was the first time DiZ ever called him that. He decided that he didn't like the sound of it.

DiZ switched off the television and walked over to the window, as the rays of the sun hit his figure and made his robe shine of an eye-blinding red.

“That night...” he let out another big sigh, “Riku-kun gave in to the darkness...”

King Mickey shivered at the memory... A memory of a night he could never forget. Also because it was the night when he had first set his feet into the cold pavement of the world. And now... he felt weird as he thought of the idea, no, fact, that another night like the one he experienced in his dejected past was going to come to life soon. He couldn't help but wonder; Riku had been an easy target to deceive into accepting the vast realm of darkness. But that girl... Rukia...

“... Will she give in too?”

As he finally succeeded in freeing his hand from his dry mouth, he laughed savagely. It was a heartless laugh, in the true sense of the word.

After all, it wasn't like he had a heart anyway.

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Somewhere, in a place miles away, Rukia Kuchiki sneezed. All the people near her who just realized her presence backed away immediately.

“I can't believe it,” Sora muttered as he and Roxas quickly escaped for the lethal raven girl.

“Believe what?” Roxas asked.

“I can't believe my eyes aren't bleeding!” the brunet forcefully whispered into the blond's ear. “Those drawings sucked big time! They were worse than the penis drawings by the y!Gallery artists!”

“Yeah… wait, WHAT?!” Roxas shouted so loudly that all the people in the cafeteria turned their attention to him. “YOU VISIT THE YAOI GALLERY TO WATCH PENIS DRAWINGS?!”

An `Oooooooh!' was heard throughout the audience.

Sora widened his eyes and blushed heavily.

“NO!” He shouted back. “I JUST HAPPENED TO STUMBLE ON THEM!”

An unbelieving `my ass!' was heard at this, and Riku let out a frustrated sigh.

Roxas was nearly hyperventilating, “AND YOU THINK I'M GONNA BELIEVE YOU?!”

Sora couldn't hold it anymore. He deposited all the energy he had in his last, desperate scream, his sapphire eyes poisoned with tears.

“I'M HOMOPHOBIC!"

A `HUH!' was released by the population of the lunchroom.

“… And that's how Riku lost the love of his life and died with an aching heart, it's Leon.”

Jack licked his lips.

“Maybe, as his doctor, I should help him or something. What do you think, Squall-san?” he asked, not noticing Leon's hand forming into a fist. “I can't just let him die; Ms. Utada will have my head.”

“Let the nurses do the job,” Cloud, the newcomer at their table (his previous seat being now occupied with an ominous looking Paine), commented. “I'm sure they'll take good care of him.”

Jack sighed.

“That is what I'm worried about.”

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As Jack expected, the group of patients turned into the office even more messed up than before. Jane had consumed ten notepads with her pink gel-pen; the teary-eyed Saix, who had taken up Sephiroth's seat in the cafeteria, was massaging his ass; Larxene was 'Mwahahahaha!'ing and waving around her kunai's; Lexaeus was sulking even more in the corner; Hercules's arm was completely broken; Maleficent's nose was... well, it wasn't there; Aerith's nose grew even longer and was now stuck in Paine's… whatever piece of clothing she had on. Cloud, leaning on a corner far away from Aerith, complimented himself inwardly for having changed his seat.

Jack took another photo of them, in case St. Brutus wanted more updated information about the conditions of its future patients. He got bored with always working with the same people, so he pretended that Homophobe, Bleached-Hair Guy (who wasn't present anyway), Anne Frank, Girl in White, Ginger-ass, and Blondie (1) didn't exist. Instead, the tip of his index finger pointed at the first guy that he saw when these patients were assigned to him.

"'Morning Hayner-kun!"

Hayner's idiotic grin was still stuck to his face.

"'MORNING JACK-SENSEEEEEEEEEI!"

Thanks goodness he doesn't call me Jackie, thought optimistically Jack.

"Hmm..." he tried to think of something to keep him busy, "Let's talk about your life, Hayner-kun."

"Ooooook!" exclaimed Hayner. "Soooo, I live in this Twilight Town place, where it's always sunset, right?"

"Right," nodded Jack.

"And it's a great place to live in, you know?!" piped up a gorilla-looking guy; his nametag read Raijin.

“Yeah, I of all people should know,” Jack thought with irritation.

"I'm telling the story!" cried Hayner impatiently. "Anyway... this town's really cool cuz it got skateboards lyin' everywhere, and you can use 'em whenever you want!"

Jack smiled; he loved skateboarding... although he found it difficult to see Hayner on a skateboard. He managed to picture the blond riding one and immediately crashing with a wall the next second.

"Cool place, Twilight Town..." continued Hayner dreamily, staring into space. “It got the best sea-salt ice-cream ever...”

Jack raised his eyebrow.

"I thought they were popsicles, not ice-cream."

"Why, I don't see any difference between 'em," replied Hayner raising his eyebrow too.

Olette heaved her hand. Jack nodded at her, noting down her manners; maybe an outcast among all these disturbed people/mice/ducks/dogs/monkeys/etc....

"I want to talk with Hayny too!" she proposed. "And with Roxie and Pencie since we live at the same place and we're BFF!"

She glanced at the mentioned ones with eyes full of dangerous intentions. They started to sweat.

"All my hopes, melt awaaaaaaaaaay..." sang Jack to himself, remembering the tune of a song Ms. Utada used to sing to him. ”OK."

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"THAT WAS THE MOST BORING BULLSHIT EVER!"

Roxas banged his hands on the table so hard that it broke. Axel took advantage of the blond's rage to show off all his burning loyalty to him.

"YAH, RIGHT!" he agreed, breaking another table. "OLETTE IS SOME MOTHER FUCKIN' BITCH!"

Roxas started to imitate the hated girl's voice.

"And then we started our independent studies about the six wonders of Twilight Town, and we researched about BALLS coming out the wall! Roxie got hit by a thousand BALLS, didn't you Roxie? GYAH!"

"Rai's mum sent him back to kindergarten since he counted fourteen stairs instead of thirteen, you know?! I COUNTED RIGHT, YOU KNOW?!" Rai was waving his arms in distress, trying to hit anyone nearby.

Hayner's reaction was just as vigorous, "And then Hayny, remember when you thought you saw your twin brother waving at you from the fountain? You're so stupid! I'M NOT STOOOOOOOOOOOPID!"

"And Pencie thought he saw clones of himself dressed up like girls in the subway! Not that he doesn't look a transvestite now..." Pence joined in. "NOW THAT SOUNDS FUN!"

Seifer's temperature rose so much that the water he poured himself evaporated.

"Seify actually believed in the ghost train so much that he ran up and down the railway naked trying to seduce the driver! JUST WHEN THE HELL DID I DO THAT!"

"Saw her..." muttered Fuu while pointing angrily at Namine.

The blonde looked actually emotional for the first time.

"You saw me running 'round naked?"

Fuu's face turned pale, "Behind curtains!"

Namine was fuming even more, "You saw me running `round naked behind the curtains?!"

"Abandoned Mansion!" Fuu was now rapidly shaking her head.

"You saw me running `round naked behind the curtains in the Abandoned Mansion?!"

"NOT NAKED!" cried desperately Fuu.

Namine gritted her teeth, "How then? Half-naked?"

Fuu fainted; those were too many words for her to bear...

"... And so that girl with silver hair fainted," concluded Leon, not even bothering to correct his name.

"Cool," replied Jack, "So that's the Twilight Town gang."

His notepad was full of black ink. He was trying to finish his work at dinnertime, once and for all. He didn't really want to spend his work-time worrying about balls coming out the wall, thirteen stairs, watery twins, cross-dressed clones, railway prostitutes, and... Namine, who, by some strange means, was the seventh wonder of Twilight Town.

"What's so wonderful about her anyway?" thought lazily Jack, as he stared deeply at Namine's blue eyes, which were, for an instant, looking at him too. "She spends the whole day stuffing her mouth with pasta and… drawing whatever on her sketchbook and… talking with a strange accent and… always doing that gesture with her hands! (2)”

Larxene smiled evilly when she noticed the only sane person in the cafeteria was looking at her best friend, who had decided to sit with the TT Gang so that she could manage to steal their plates overloaded with food.

"Wooooooot, Kairi, looks like Namine's got a new admirer, who, by the way, happens to be your Prince Charming!"

Kairi widened her eyes so much that it beat Yen Sid's record.

"This is looooooooove..."

"Alice, could you effin' stop saying the same thing over and over again?" asked Mulan trying her best to sound anything but rude.

"But she got it right!" huffed Jane as Yuna and Rikku started singing another of their favorite Kelly Clarkson songs. "I mean, our problem is that we all suffer in our sentimental lives! I can give you examples if you want!"

Yuffie joined them at the table, "Spit it out!"

Jane glared at her, and then she started her speech.

"You see," she showed them a very complicated diagram that contained all their names and arrows linking them together, "Riku loves Sora, but Sora is homophobic, so he doesn't love anyone, unless you count Roxas, but that's just brotherly love, and I highly doubt he supports incest relationships (he ain't gay anyway). Kairi loves Jack, but Jack loves Namine-"

"That's not true!" cried Kairi.

Jane ignored her.

"-Who loves her sketchbook and Italian food. Then... Tidus loves Yuna, Yuna loves Tidus, Wakka loves Selphie, Selphie loves Wakka."

At a table not very far away from theirs, Wakka sneezed all over Selphie, who furiously started to beat him with her rope.

"Daisy loves Donald, but Donald loves that gorilla... Kerchak's little girl... whatever her name is! Goofy loves Pluto, but Pluto loves King Mickey, but the Mouse King got his heart stolen by Queen Minnie, who is secretly dating Dale, who recently started thinking very incest stuff about Cip, who trades his porno magazines with Jiminy Cricket's photos of naked Goofy. Jiminy is deeply in love with Pinocchio, but his arch enemy, Mastro Geppedo...- ahem, Geppetto, is a big obstacle that is blocking his path to accomplish his wet dreams. Pinocchio, instead, doesn't want to have anything to do with them; all he thinks about is Monstro and vice versa."

The girls were staring at Jane with mouths hung open for so long that they had started drooling. Since Jane was giving her back to Jack, the redhead had a false feeling that Kairi had given her virus to the others and now they were all drooling at him.

"Then of course we come to Leon, who loves Aerith,” they looked at Leon and Aerith, sitting with a distance of one mile between them and not even looking at each other, then went back to listen to Jane with their eyebrows quirked. “But Aerith loves Cloud, who can't take his eyes away from Yuffie-"

Yuffie burped all her pasta all'arabiatta out.

"Eww! That's gross!"

"-Who, as everyone knows, nourishes very deep feelings for Tifa-"

"How in the world...!"

Red in face, Yuffie found herself under six pairs of unbelieving eyes. Tifa was out of the scenery; she was too worried about her-

"-Beloved nametag, which she suspects is hiding inside Paine's mouth," confirmed Jane, pointing at Tifa who had her head inside the grey-haired girl's... well, you can imagine the scene. "Then there's Cid, who completely ignores Merlin's feelings about him because he's too interested in staring at Larxene's curves-"

"WHAT THE FUCK!"

Larxene's kunai raced like a boomerang; by a millimeter it missed Jane's head, and it rushed through Hercules and Meg, who stopped making out. The brunette screamed and jumped on Simba, who roared at the sudden attack and started galloping wildly around the room. Meanwhile, the kunai hit Demyx's sitar, and the Melodious Nocturne, boiling with rage, blasted away the first person he found under his nose, Zexion, and sent him and the kunai flying straight on respectively Sora's and Roxas's heads, making Axel throw his chakrams furiously across the room. Simba, with Meg on his back, hit square face one of the chakrams and with fangs hanging out, collided with a pasta-full mouthed Namine.

Jack failed to suppress a desperate cry.

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(1) Respectively Sora, Riku, Kairi, Namine, Axel, and Roxas. You remember these nicknames, don't you?

(2) Have you noticed too? She brings her hands together and inclines them towards you… like in the next-to-final cutscene in KHII, where she does this gesture and says, “Now we can be together again!” or something like that to Roxas. And about the accent, I hope you understood that Jackie made it up just to find an excuse to hate her.

Authoress's Notes: 2939 words, 37+ than Prologue. Kind of short - that's because I made it quite straightforward. Ah, the simplicity…

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