Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Burn ❯ Chapter 3 Roxas ( Chapter 3 )

Burn

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Kingdom Hearts and Kingdom Hearts II.

A/N: All right, now we've got Roxas's perspective on things. Enjoy! Oh yeah, and just to make sure everyone's clear, here are the ages of the characters:

Sora/Roxas: 15

Riku: 16

Kairi/Naminé: 15

Hayner, Pence, and Olette: 15

Axel/Zexion: 17

Cloud/Leon: 28 (yeah Leon's sort of young to be a godfather, but whatever)

More will come as I progress and add in more characters. You can be sure that most, if not all the characters from Organization XIII will be making appearances in this as well as some of the other characters, like Tifa, Cid, Yuffie, ect.

Chapter 3 Roxas

I never should have existed.

That's the plain and simple truth. My parents should never have brought me into this world. Of course, if I hadn't come into this world, then Sora wouldn't have either. So I guess I was good for something. Yeah, we're twins. He's older than me by about five minutes, give or take. We look a lot alike. Our eyes and our hair are different colors but otherwise, we're pretty much identical. Sora's the “good boy”. He's the responsible one. He's the mature one. Me, I'm just the invisible child. No joke. My parents rarely notice me and when they do, it's usually to scold me. They love Sora. They totally adore him. To them , he can do no wrong.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not jealous of my brother. I want good things for him. He has the potential to be great. I can see it in him. Me? I'm not destined to be anything. Half the time, my parents don't know I even exist. They don't care about me at all.

I realized this from an early age. My parents would pay attention to Sora all the time and they'd barely even acknowledge my presence. At first, I tried to get their attention by any means necessary, but that didn't work. I think I was about five when I gave that up. I decided that I would just live and not crave my parents' attention. Though deep down, I'm sure I wanted them to notice me so bad. I just kept denying it. I would deny myself happiness so my brother could succeed. And that's what I did. Every single day. I never tried to get my parents' attention after that day. After a while, I began to wonder if I kept pretending that I was invisible, maybe I'd end up vanishing. I tried to get my parents' approval by acting invisible, but even that didn't appease them.

Sora and I were always close. It wasn't just the fact that we were twins. He was a really cool guy to hang out with. His friends were my friends and vice versa. I met my first friend in kindergarten. Hayner. Great guy. A little pushy at times, but I could deal with it. He was incredibly loyal and tough. Sora met Riku at the same time I met Hayner even though Riku was a full year older than us. He had a late birthday so he was held back a year. Those two hit it off right away. They became inseparable. A while later, our little gang took shape. We added Olette, a sweet little girl, then Pence, who was real laid back, Kairi--she had her eye on Sora from the beginning. I'm talking major crush, but he wasn't interested. Not even when we were older, and her twin sister, Naminé, a real sensitive girl. She would cry over the smallest things, but she was incredibly kind.

Our little gang survived elementary school and middle school. It was incredible how close we were through those years. Nothing of any importance happened. I'm dead serious. We live in the most boring town that ever existed. Somehow, we'd find things to do in the summers, eating lots of sea salt ice cream, participating in the Struggle Tournaments (where we beat each other up with sticks. It was fun), or just hanging out. It was great. The rift didn't start until eighth grade, when Sora and Riku began dating. Yeah, my brother's gay. I don't have a problem with that. I'm not gay. At least I don't think I am. I'm not interested in girls, but I've never been interested in guys either. I don't think anyone would notice me enough to want to date me, girl or boy. Our gang is sort of divided in half now—those who accept Riku and Sora as a couple, and those who don't. Kairi and Hayner are more for the latter. Pence and Olette are somewhere in the middle and Naminé and I who completely accept it. He's my brother for god's sake. If he's happy, then I'm happy. Like I said before, I just want my brother to be happy.

I didn't really start feeling isolated until we started high school. A lot of people didn't like the fact that Sora and Riku were a couple and tended to look down on them. And they'd look down on the rest of us who accepted it as well. Meaning me. Not that I'm bitter. I don't give a flying fart what others think of me and neither does Sora. That's another thing that Sora and I have in common.

Well, Kairi managed to get half the school turned against us, saying that Sora broke her heart, when she was just really jealous that Riku had Sora's undivided attention and she couldn't achieve that. I was known as “the fag's brother” and no one really wanted to hang out with me or my brother. Riku and Sora were happy with each other, but I didn't really have anyone. I mean, yeah, Naminé was totally supportive of my brother's relationship with Riku and she'd hang out with me, but she was one of the only ones. She was like my little sister though. I didn't love her or anything. It seemed impossible that I could love anyone.

Things at home were rough too. My parents didn't approve of Sora's relationship but instead of taking it out on their golden child, they'd take it out on me. Now, you'd think it would make me resent my brother even more, but oddly, it didn't. I just felt even more inferior, like I couldn't win my parents' approval but I couldn't get their disapproval either. Not like Sora. There was something wrong with me.

I started getting depressed. I would sit in my room and wonder what I could do to make my parents love me and I'd come up with that there was nothing I could do. There was just too much wrong with me. I wasn't perfect like Sora. I never would be. That would make me even more depressed and I'd get worse. I started thinking about how nice it would be if I just erased myself from the face of the earth.

Then one day, I broke. I couldn't take it anymore. I started running and didn't stop until I reached the clock tower. I found my salvation. When we were younger, it was a place we hung out when we were bored. We ate sea salt ice cream and talked up there. Now it would serve one last purpose.

To end my life.

Breathlessly, I ran up the stairs two at a time, anxious to do the fell deed. I didn't stop until I reached the top. I paused to catch my breath and then stepped forward. I went out the door and stood at the ledge. I didn't stare down. I didn't even think. I didn't have any last thoughts. I just jumped. I flew for a few seconds before I was falling. I didn't even think I would feel it when I crashed against the hard pavement and broke every bone in my body. I would be dead before I had time to register what was going on. Unfortunately, Fate decided to not cooperate with me that day. I forgot about the awning. They had put it up a couple days before as an experiment and it broke my fall. Instead of dying, I just broke a couple of bones.

I could tell I was still alive when I felt I was in pain. I knew that I wouldn't be able to feel pain if I was dead, therefore I must still be alive. My brain still worked but for some reason, I couldn't open my eyes. It wasn't that I was physically unable to. I was mentally unable to. I couldn't move. I was in excruciating pain and I could barely even breathe. My brain was able to register some voices. I recognized my brother's , frantically calling my name. I didn't answer. I couldn't. I heard a young girl. Olette. She was screaming for help. I wanted to cry out to them to not even bother, to leave me to die, but nothing worked anymore. My heart beat wildly out of control. When they started to move me to get me untangled from the awning, I felt a terrible pain, even worse than before. It made me want to scream in pain, though of course, I couldn't.
“Easy,” a feminine voice said.

“He's really tangled up,” a male voice said.

“Be careful with that arm. It's broken pretty badly.”
“You got him?”
“Yeah. Now lift him up. One..two…three…up.”
I was lifted off the ground and put on a soft surface. Something was placed over my nose and mouth, but not to smother me. Suddenly, I could breathe better. I was wheeled somewhere and lifted up, most likely into an ambulance.

“Please let me come. He's my brother,” I heard my brother say.

“All right. Come on,'” the masculine voice replied gruffly.

The doors were slammed shut and the ambulance took off. A needle was stuck into my uninjured arm. After a while, I heard a woman talking to my brother, asking him questions about me. The ambulance came to a stop and I heard the doors open. I was brought out and wheeled into the hospital. I could hear the soft clicking of the wheels on the linoleum floor. I was brought into a bright room. I could see the light even though I had my eyes closed.

“This is Roxas Strife,” the feminine voice announced. “Fifteen years old, tried to kill himself by jumping off the clock tower. The awning broke his fall but he was still injured. Looks like multiple arm and wrist fractures, a dislocated shoulder, a concussion, and maybe a couple of broken ribs. Blood pressure and pulse are both steady. Oxygen level is slightly lower than it should be…”

I started slipping away. The darkness wanted me. It could have me. Sora got everything at birth. I got nothing. I'm okay with that. I don't want anything. I'm nobody important. I'm just nobody. Finally, I let the darkness take me captive. I could not think, see, or hear anything any longer. I was a prisoner to the darkness. Nothing could save me.

To be continued…

A/N: Wow that was rather depressing. Quite a change from the last chapter that had a lot of sarcasm from Axel. I don't really know where that came from. It was just totally random but I think it adds a nice touch. It's how I view him, really. I think he has a lot of sarcasm. Axel is my favorite character from Kingdom Hearts II. Roxas too. I grew really attached to Roxas. Heh, sorry I'm rambling. I'll be quiet right now. Remember: reviews help me to update faster!!

7/9/08-I did a lot of revisions in this chapter. Of course I fixed all the typos but I also extended the last scene where Roxas is falling to the darkness to make it a lot more descriptive. I wasn't happy about how short this chapter turned out so this is much better in my opinion.